Recap: As the old sports adage goes: ‘This is why you play the game’. Surmising that very few (outside of his hardcore fans) had Cortez winning this match against an elite punchline feen like Bigg K (not to mention a shorter time limit that strategically speaking clearly works in K’s favor), Cortez steps back in vet mode, reminds everyone of his ‘Top Tier’ status in the game and pulls off the win. First round is close with K aggressively (“You more than fake, gassed at a quarter tank, got your wife’s hair [hare] in my lap like the tortoise race!”) punching and name flipping with persistent fire, but a confident looking Tez gives it right back with fiery (“Fuck you, s*ck my dick, yeah I said it G, honky, blow on a sack [sax], who said Kenny G?!”) wordplay and stifling (“Everybody want to be Blood, till there’s a trail of that!”) bars that continuously landed in what turned out to be a flawless turn. Despite Cortez going longer with another (“I taught you everything you know K, I gave you tips, you obey, they put Duke on court…makes sense, I used to coach K!”) hardbody round, a higher bar quotient along with more scintillating (“Bounce, I’m unruly, two hands on one uzi, this clip will bring the bitch out Cort [court]…Judge Judy!”) punches and potent personals gives the still-drenched-in-unsportsmanlike-conduct Bigg K the second round easy. Going into the last round tied, K pretty much gives up the round (and as it turned out, the battle) surprisingly stopping short (or choking) after like half a minute of spitting, leaving his only chance of winning coming via his opponent choking. But Tez (who outside of writing a little too much per the time limits, clearly prepared well for his battle), delivers a solid (“Yeah nigga, so what, you want it, yeah? high shots, five shots, why?, I ain’t choke but why not?, this is a body on cam, now y’all get it…white cop”) round with nary slip-up, to pull off the victory.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “Listen here Julio, I don’t care who you know, I hope Trump builds that wall and it can keep you out the studio!”
