Over 4,000 Recaps!

Stumbles defeats Snake Eyez

Recap: While Tsu Surf and all the drama that came with Midnight Madness deserve the majority of praise for getting Twitter Battle Rap Spaces popping since the beginning of the year. Outside of Aye Verb, there’s been a handful of lesser-known names who deserve their kudos too. Namely Stumbles and Snake Eyez, both of whom have recently taken getting online and talking shit, promoting upcoming battles and speaking on potential matchups with fans to new levels (and yeah that even includes Snake Eyez and his manager Tony Bro getting into it with Stumbles’ crew in person before a recent URL event). And while it’s always a stain on battle rap in general when fisticuffs between battlers get exchanged, now it’s only right that these two go at it on the big stage here for URL’s UM5 card. Unfortunately for Snake tho, if he thought he had an advantage coming with Stumbles becoming notorious for choking, that wouldn’t be the case here. As the Springfield, MA battler, clearly confident, stepping and motivated to beat his longtime adversary, was able to dish 3 clean and crispy rounds of slick punchlines, real street talk, witty/hard-hitting personals and steely gun bars to beat back a gritty-as-usual and aggressive, but in this bout, too often topsy-turvy Snake for a well-earned 30.

Verdict: Stumbles (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Stumbles – “I wanted the money, you wanted the belt, this is what you asked for, y’all had me fighting Jake the Snake in that ring…but I was worried about the bag more!”

Chilla Jones defeats Mike P.

Recap: Blame the local plumber guy aesthetics or a narrative that goes way back to his JC battle, but I’ve never understood how the average battle rap fan who really feens for quality pens can continue to label Chilla Jones as ‘boring’ (or something to the like). Especially when he’s done such a great job at transitioning from an elongated, scheme-heavy puncher to one of the most versatile battlers in the game. Indeed, from displaying excellent wit to proving to be a deft angler to sporting a gang of stifling wordplay (esp. during a killer round 2 here versus Mike P), with over a decade in the game C. Jones doesn’t get appreciated enough imo. Thus while showing off the stark difference between mid-tier and top tier status, despite another pretty solid, rambunctious, punch/personal-heavy at times and earnest effort from Mike (esp. in the 1st and 3rd rounds), Jones ability to take it to another level with a barrage of stinging name flips, spicy angles within angles, over-the-top alliterations, well-equipped braggadicous darts, funny/mocking personals, piercing punchlines and sturdy schemes/gun bars while rarely missing a beat, earns him a 30 in this To Live & Die in L.A. bout from URL.

Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “If you ask me I think you a bitch…respectfully, so this angle is directed at you instead of she, I’m a flip P upside down and let her be [B]!”

Chef Trez defeats Alpha AR

Recap: Able to withstand his opponent Alpha AR’s theme music intro, some serious Calicoe vibes when it comes to his raps and some out-of-nowhere personals that were just weird, outside of a close round 2, Chef Trez uses a gang of mayhem-rich punches, festive name flips, spicy rebuttals and stinging personals/gun bars to handily get the 30 in this 3-rounder from DHBL.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Bullets will go through AR abs like a Philly nigga!”

Charron and XQZ [DEBATABLE]

Recap: Another Compliment Battle from Barstool Sports ‘The Nicest’ card features Charron and XQZ trading a bunch of personals adulations (XQZ: “When people mistake me for you, I don’t correct them because that’s how I get into night clubs, award shows, my own family reunion!”), rich storytelling and witty punchlines to keep the crowd amused. A competitive bout on both sides with Charron adding a handful of solid freestyles/rebuttals to the mix, after the two split rounds 1 and 2, a 3-round bout that never wavered on entertainment fittingly ends up a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Charron – “Tee Grizzley told me you make some tugh music, you put out a track, my girlfriend cums to it!”

Swamp defeats D.O.T.

Recap: From URL’s Civil War 2 card, against a D.O.T. who’s definitely prioritizing lyricism and aggressive punches (to a topsy-turvy effect as seen again here) these days over the exuberant, performance-rich hijinks of his more noted classics from the past, a consistently lit Swamp dishes a boatload of gritty name flips, killer set-ups/punchlines, bruising gun lines and stinging personals to handily score an impressive 30 in front of a hyped North Carolina crowd.

Verdict: Swamp (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swamp – “It really don’t matter where I choose to hit D.O.T. cuz’ wherever I choose to be it’s gonna be spot on!”

Cortez defeats Zay Smoove

Recap: From GOTG, a pretty standard 1-rounder between Cortez and Zay Smoove sees the two deliver resident/aggressive bars in the form of hardbody street darts, feelgood gun bars, flexing mayhem and boastful punches with a few personals here and there to prove that the two did do some research on each other before the battle. That said, with much less reaches than his opponent, more intricacy to his bars and some gutsy trap talk to attest to a slightly more versatile plate, it’s Cortez who handily gets the win.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Cortez – “The twin 40’s smoking together ain’t peer pressure!”

O-Red defeats Scotty

Recap: Seen thousands of battles over time and can’t recall a battler sitting down while he spits his raps as Scotty does for half the bout here. He’s different! Ok, but let’s not get carried away. As while the Houston vet did kick some gritty and brash punches here and there, it’s a multifaceted O-Red, armed with a bag of nimble translations, acute wordplay, sturdy punchlines, off-the-dome heat and flexing mayhem, who handily gets the win in this 1-rounder from Houston Bar Code.

Verdict: O-Red (W) 1-0

Favorite line: O-Red – “This fraud rambling, I done caught more bodies than Charles Manson, with a large cannon, headed to Texas like Arch Manning!”

Swamp defeats Murda

Recap: Still teetering on the edge of losing some of these smaller league battles with his near slip-ups and lack of preparation, in this 1-rounder from Bars Over Bricks Battle League, Swamp survives yet another near choke and with just enough juicy personals, head-ringing gun bars and gritty punchlines gets past the rambunctious and wordplay-lit, but slightly less versatile and less consistent stylings of Murda.

Verdict: Swamp (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Swamp – “Newsflash, do you really want to know why we compare you to Twork?, butch cuz’ you ass!”

Bill Collector defeats Kang

Recap: In this rare 3-rounder from Gates of the Garden, a versatile Bill Collector uses a barrage of piercing punchlines, witty anecdotes/personals, self aggrandizing darts, boastful barbs and solid off-the-dome theatrics to take the first two rounds and the win over a pretty solid, aggressive, angle-lit, punch-heavy and altogether competitive Kang who despite the loss impressed throughout.

Verdict: Bill Collector (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bill Collector – “I’m willing to go off on whatever he own because that mustache is only good for two things…police work or 70’s porn!”

Ryda defeats E-Hart

Recap: While the slick wordplay and fierce punches/name flips we’ve come to expect from E-Hart were for the most part there. In this 3-rounder against Ryda from Bring Ya Bars Battles League, the Bronx vet’s noted consistency and preparation weren’t, leaving the Maryland emcee, armed with a barrage of fiery punches, boastful barbs, scathing personals and flexing gun bars/name flips throughout the battle with a Gentleman’s 30.

Verdict: Ryda (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ryda – “Save it bitch, one bullet will turn Hart foundation into Make-A-Wish!”

Oppa and Danny Myers [DEBATABLE]

Recap: A blazing 1-rounder from TBG sees Danny Myers delivering a barrage of boastful (“My nigga’s asked me, ‘Are you done with OPP?’, yeah you know me for being treacherous!”) barbs, graphic mayhem, sporty personals and raucous lyrical darts to get his point across. But refusing to bow down in the midst of his opponent’s fiery comeuppance, Maryland up-n-comer Oppa, via a gang of mocking/hard-hitting personals, witty zingers and righteous set-ups/punches scores with enough bangers to make this one a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Oppa – “Danny Myers, father, battle rapper, two difficult roles you’re not balancing well, your son got a Danny Myers conversation at 22 and Lil Slap got a battle at 12!”

JC defeats Sheed Happens

Recap: These time limits in URL’s SM5 tourney need to be fixed and can Smack, at the very least, pretend he’s listening to battles while they’re going on instead of talking up some hottie standing by his side on stage? That being said, Sheed Happens with the fiery illiterations, some sturdy, performance-lit punchlines and hitting personals (mostly in round 3) and JC with a gang of fire wordplay, boastful punch work and steely set-ups/similes makes for a dope semifinal bout as well as 3 rounds of competitive heat. But it’s the Michigan vet, slightly more potent and steady with the bars in both rounds 1 and 2, who gets the win here before Sheed saved face and edged the 3rd.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “Give me my flowers when I’m here or you gonna get yours when you’re not!”

First Lady Flamez defeats Stack

Recap: Dope 1-rounder from Battle Rap Society sees Stack lay out a bunch of tough, gritty bars that not only kept him competitive, but more often then not kept the crowd lit. But proving once again that even on a small league stage she’s still a beast, First Lady Flamez’s steady barrage of stifling punchlines, fiending set-ups, hard street rhymes and rigid gun bars are more than enough to gain the win.

Verdict: First Lady Flamez (W) 1-0

Favorite line: First Lady Flamez – “Petty bitch, these tek’s [texts] will fuck your life and your mood up!”

Bigg K defeats 40 Cal

Recap: By now the entire battle rap culture should know how strict Bigg K is when it comes to contracts and time limits. So to see a battler going up against K complain, after going past the decided time limit, about not being able to ‘get all his shit off’ just makes no sense to me. Nonetheless, with over a decade in the game, at times it can get a little formulaic with K, which in turn makes him seemingly unmotivated and worse yet beatable. But that wouldn’t be the case here as sometimes sheer talent just wins out. So indeed, despite a 40 Cal hitting and keeping it close (esp. in the latter two rounds) with some gritty/fire punchlines here and there (esp. that opening ‘Big L’ bar), a lack of consistency from 40 to go along with a bizarre (tho still funny) stretch that saw him totally jack T-Top’s infamous 3rd round ‘Walmart’ angle vs. Rum Nitty with a photoshopped pic of K for some personals that went nowhere as well as K dishing his usual assortment of spicy, rapid-fire punches, boastful screeds and hard-hitting personals to handily take round 1, before edging both of the latter rounds for the 30.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Bigg K – “Keep saying Black don’t crack, what if I pistol whip it?!”

O-Red defeats Nunn Nunn

Recap: A bunch of fire punches, hard-hitting/witty personals and dope rebuttals (esp. in round 2, which he edged) by Nunn Nunn in this URL/UM5 ‘Extra Battle’. But one too many indirect darts by the North Carolina battler as well as a slightly more consistent/versatile O-Red, who pulled off a well-finessed class in wordplay, triple and quadruple entendres, name flips, off-the-dome heat, robust mayhem and gritty punches/personals, gives the Jersey capo just enough mileage to edge the opening round and the deciding 3rd for the win in what was a highly competitive and aggressive matchup.

Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1

Favorite line: O-Red – “Got Nunn [none] in the back, that nigga dead stock!”

Rum Nitty defeats Gattas

Recap: From Chrome 23, one of those out-of-nowhere matchups that feels like their names were picked out of a hat, Rum Nitty versus Gattas, while earnest, competitive and aggressive throughout, suffered a bit from a somewhat lackluster crowd as well as Gattas leaving her noted wit at home. The Chicago vet instead delivering 3 rounds of mayhem, some stifling lyrical darts and esp. during round 2, a gang of hitting personals. But outside of a topsy-turvy mid-round that his more consistent opponent managed to edge, a turned-up Nitty armed with a barrage of hard-hitting name flips, fiery gun bars and sizzling punchlines who takes rounds 2 and 3 for the win.

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Off top, you know I’m a shoot, but I pulled up to the wrong event…I had a Chrome 22!”

Young Kannon defeats Royalty

Recap: Earnest effort by Royalty, after forgetting his rhymes midway through his round, to gamely freestyle his way through the rest of his turn and avoid choking. Either way, with Young Kannon dishing a blistering barrage of hard-hitting rapid-fire punches, boastful darts, flexing gun bars and stinging gun bars with almost zero filler, it would’ve required a huge endeavor by the West-coast up-n-comer to overcome YK’s sizzling performance in this 1-rounder from Big Slap Battles.

Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Young Kannon – “The .40 casual like stone-wash jeans with Steve Madden’s!

Bill Collector and Mackk Myron [DEBATABLE]

Recap: I know it was only one or two bars, but Mackk Myron does a phenomenal Bill Collector impression. That said, in this tight Season 1 KOTD tournament battle, an often elite, personal-lit and witty punch game from Mackk versus the performance-heavy, unorthodox (“One time the plug gave me short China, boy was I Dumbfounded!”) punchlines/name flips from Bill equates to Mackk taking round 1 before the Loud Boys capo edged round 2 to split things going into the 3rd. The final round, which served up more of the high energy we’d seen from both battlers throughout the bout, ends up tied too as Bill and Mackk equally finessed with the haymakers during their identical alloted time.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Mackk Myron – “Now correct me, y’all think he about to beat me or something?, Bill my little brother he can’t beat me at nothing!”

40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats Dre Dennis

Recap: Could just be me, but sometimes I think 40 B.A.R.R.S. purpsoefuly steps up her pen game when she’s a facing a dude as opposed to a female. Either way, in this 1-rounder from Gates of the Garden, when the Boston wordsmith wasn’t scoring with a barrage of stifling personals on opponent Dre Dennis, it’s a boatload of stellar punches mixed in with plenty of nifty wordplay and bruising metaphors that gets her more than enough haymakers on her way to a well-earned win over what was a mostly dope, heavy on the personals and versatile showing from Dre.

Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 1-0

Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “You don’t have a tear because your career is an autobiography, you gotta book yourself!”

Jerry Wess defeats Lu Castro

Recap: Seeing Jerry Wess back on the stage here on this URL Civil War 2 card after a long hiatus (apparently due to an injury) against Lu Castro and I was immediately reminded of a couple of things: Wess’ performance game can easily compete with Lu’s, his losses are almost always close and Jerry’s punch acumen doesn’t get near the appreciation it deserves. Add to the mix a Castro who’s been in quite a slump of late and it’s no wonder that Wess gets the 30. The Brooklyn-based EFB member utilizing a plethora of stinging/mocking personals, rigid gun bars, stifling wordplay, fiery punchline/set-ups/schemes and rich performance bars to preserve the shutout after a topsy-turvy Castro (who may be battling too often these days) choked in round 1, before coming back with two solid and competitive, but still a bit flow-challenged turns that all in all may leave Big Lu having to go back to the drawing board.

Verdict: Jerry Wess (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Jerry Wess – “Find him in a hole, Cast dead, Golden Girls, he paid a heavy price, buried him dark-skinned, by the time they fimd him Betty [bet he] White!”

Pristavia defeats J2

Recap: Pristavia vs J2 from Remy Ma’s Chrone 23 league sees both battlers keep it competitive with aggressive darts, well-laced up personals and fiery punchlines. However, while J2 came through with some hot punches/schemes here and there (esp. the ‘hum to Allah’ line in round 2), one too many pedestrian bars and preachy lines by the ATL rapper in addition to a slightly more versatile, wordplay-heavy, personal-lit and consistently hitting Pristavia gives the Gun Titles empress a 30.

Verdict: Pristavia (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Pristavia – “Nigga, didn’t you go through homelessness?, then you should feel right at home in another box!”

Pass defeats Shotti P

Recap: Competitive (esp. when Shotti P made use of some spicy personals to take round 2 after getting edged by a punch-heavier Pass in round 1) but still not too many highlights in this Season 1 tournament KOTD matchup that overall was way more regular weed than Afghan Kush. Either way, with a reliable mix of high octane braggadocios darts, a flexing rebuttal and a bunch of piercing punches/wordplay, it’s the more resilient Pass who takes the deciding 3rd for the win.

Verdict: Pass (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pass – “This a cliffhanger, I got the eagle eye on the kill, I’m living at my peak, you really wanna die on this hill?!”

Ill Will defeats Head I.C.E.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0NucsUmxik

Recap: Considering the weight of the names, a bit surprised that this 3-rounder from HOC Rap Battle League received such little promotion. Either way, while Head I.C.E. kept things competitive for two rounds with his parlance for gritty street talk, indirect but flexing punches and witty barbs, Ill Will’s persistent combo of rambunctious punchlines (esp. during a stellar round 2), stinging personals, fiery name flips and gripping mayhem/gun bars would in the end prove to be too much, thus giving the Yaktown native a well-earned 30.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ill Will – “I’m from Pontiac where we can turn babymamas into ransom notes!”

Swamp defeats Fonz

Recap: From URL’s Summer Madness 5 tournament, taking advantage of a Fonz mired in inconsistent punches, a lack of wit and a surprising 2nd round slip-up, a more consistently hitting, gritty, personal-lit and trap talk spicy Swamp takes both of the opening rounds for the win before a debatable 3rd round that while giving witness to Fonz finally putting it all together like the Landlord we’re used to seeing, still was only good enough to match the brazen polemics from South Carolina’s finest.

Verdict: Swamp (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Swamp – “The last battle, it was ‘Paige’ [page] this, ‘Paige’ [page] that,
nigga flipped Paige [page] too fast and read me wrong!”

O’fficial defeats Ave

Recap: A dope, well-crafted and punch-heavy 3rd round by Ave in this Chrome 23 3-rounder vs. O’fficial doesn’t make up for a couple of braggadocious and hitting at times, but overall a bit predictable and seemingly uninspired turns by the former Cave Gang capo in the earlier rounds, leaving the consistently gritty, scheme-lit, gun bar popping and punch-heavier Bardashian with the win after she edged both of the opening rounds.

Verdict: O’fficial (W) 2-1

Favorite line: O’fficial – “DNA, Tay Roc and Dizaster?, I mean the list of men is growing for me, didn’t think I could fuck with the hottest nigga’s till I turned into Lori Harvey!”

Geechi Gotti defeats Frak

Recap: Always a dope and unique way to test your pen, compliment battles are also a must-see for their sheer amount of entertainment value. But, hold on. Does Frak, a professional comedian (amongst other gigs) by trade, have an advantage going into one of these compliment battles against a battle rapper who doesn’t do much in the way of comedy when he/she raps? Most likely, yes. But by pulling all the spots, Geechi Gotti made sure that wouldn’t be an issue here. The Compton rapper using plenty of deadpan humor, rich storytelling, a couple of spicy rebuttals and a gang of witty punches/personals to take the latter two rounds (after his opponent edged the 1st) and beat back a pretty solid, Gotti lingo flipping and hilarious at times, but a little too redundant, filler prone and a bit elongated 3 rounds from Frak.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Geecho Gotti – “[sniffs around Frak] I ain’t never smell good credit before!”

JC defeats King Jables

Recap: Making an out of the blue appearance in a 1-rounder on iBattleTV, JC still leaves his mark, using a consistently hitting barrage of dismissive personals, killer Godbody bars and flexing punchlines/similes to beat back a solid and gritty, but nowhere-near-as-flashy turn from King Jables.

Verdict: JC (W) 1-0

Favorite line: JC – “I know that may seem worse, but your whole intro into battle rap was ass-backwards, a breeched birth!”

Ill Will defeats J Geans

Recap: Making excellent use of some steely name flips, a couple of spicy rebuttals, hard-hitting punchlines/similes and piercing personals, in this 1-rounder from iBattleTV, Ill Will cruises to an easy win over a consistently gritty and earnest, but topsy-turvy J Geans.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Ill Will – “Toolie grip, nigga this ain’t no movie script, when this Will got caught busting in the crowd, I ain’t have an uncle my mama could move me with!”

Rum Nitty defeats Danny Myers

Recap: Participate in battle rap long enough and rematches are bound to happen. Still, while many heads consider Rum Nitty’s battle against Iron Solomon to be amongst Rum’s finest, for me it’s Rum’s 2013 battle against Danny Myers, a spitfire KOTD classic and was littered in sublime punches from both sides, that’s often overlooked and should be at a million views by now. Either way, with Danny battling like every week these days (and even calling himself now the ‘King of Rematches’), Myers vs. Nitty receives the sequel it didn’t need. And while Part 2 (aka the headliner from URL’s To Live and Die in L.A. card) is a goodie (and thankfully didn’t feature as much dapping as the 1st match did), it doesn’t come anywhere close to matching the consistent, punch-lit performance of its predecessor. An aggressive. off-the-dome spicy and punch-heavy Danny (who’s clearly changed up his battle rap blueprint ever since his Frak battle) offering up a sublime turn to handily take round 1 before Rum steps it up and just gets downright gully with it in the latter rounds, hitting on the rebuttals, fiery gun bars, witty/mocking personals, gritty mayhem and stifling wordplay/set-ups to take rounds 2 and 3 over a much less hitting showing from Danny to earn the win.

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Reckless, I’m a bury him. embarrass him, take the metal and crack his face till it start to Cave like I’m from Maryland, no comparison, they just don’t get it, till somebody die…like inheritance!”

Saynt defeats Chef Trez

Recap: In a close 3-round GTX battle that was littered with blazing gun bars throughout, in both the 1st and 3rd rounds Saynt takes advantage of an off-the-dome light and less potent with the punches Chef Trez (who surprisingly enough was at his best with the personals here), with a slightly more consistent set-up/punch game that edges the aforementioned rounds for the win.

Verdict: Saynt (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Saynt – “Now everybody’s a gremlin, let this bitch test me, I’ll put this gremlin in a box, that’s a NFT!”

NXT and Hansel [DEBATABLE]

Recap: From WestWorld Battle Rap, EFB members NXT and Hansel go at it for three rounds and it’s a dope one. Both battlers highly aggressive with their raps, but there was plenty of substance that came with it through a barrage of sturdy punchlines, resident West-coast flossing, piercing name flips, roundhouse personals and a bunch of mayhem-lit boasts that for the most part made their mark on both sides. Tied (had NXT edgung round 1, before Hansel out-punched his opponent in roudn 2 to even things up) going into the deciding 3rd round, the final round turns to be an equally efficient banger with Hansel delivering another stream of consistently hard-hitting punches, while NXT went a completely different route via a crispy run of braggadocio (“I been here 7 years, that bad luck done ran out!”) darts that highlighted his battle rap resume and struggles coming up in the game versus that of the relative newcomer standing across from him.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Hansel – “Shotgun, one pull gonna hit you and like two more of you haters, thats 3 nigga’s in one release…this shit a jumpshot creater!”

Viixen The Assassin defeats Ms. Hustle

Recap: In front of what seemed to be a timid Chrome 23 crowd (Remy Ma might want to look into changing her venue), a raucous, but competitive back-n-forth between Ms. Hustle (who also had some fiery schemes and aggressive angles on her plate) and Viixen The Assassin (aggressive throughout as well, but with a more workmanlike performance overall) gets edged by the more punch-lit, personal-spicy, versatile, steadily hitting and less predictable Milwaukee, WI queenpen, who after getting edged by a slightly more stellar round 1 by Hustle, came back with more potency to her bars in both of the latter rounds to earn the vic.

Verdict: Viixen The Assassin (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Viixen The Assassin – “So much I can get away with like murder, beat a bitch up for singing like Ike Turner!”

Chef Trez defeats Drop Da Rula

Recap: Drop Da Rula starts off solid with a bunch of fiery gun bars and gritty wordplay/punches here and there. But in this down South 1-round “in Da Kitchen” card, Rula’s struggles with his flow as well as subpar bars during the latter half of his round to go along with a Chef Trez unloading on his opponent with a barrage of damaging name flips, stinging punchlines, spicy rebuttals and piercing set-ups/gun lines gives the Chef yet another win on the ledger.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Your punches like putting your grandparents on your job application…a bunch of old references!”

Jey The Nitewing defeats Father Focus Confucius

Recap: In this 1-rounder from No Coast Raps, Jey The Nitewing crafts out a vociferous and steady barrage of flagrant name flips, gripping 1, 2 set-up/punchlines and charismatic boasts to make the most of his 5 or 6 minutes of rhymes and get the win over a consistently gritty, but too often dry-spot bent Father Focus Confucius.

Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “I ain’t believing shit, oh he did time too?, probably beat his bitch!”

Rone and Real Deal [DEBATABLE]

Recap: Longtime vets at battle rap and also close friends outside the ring, Real Deal and Rone put forth 3 competitive, hilarious at times, punch/metaphor-lit and sarcastically-bent rounds in a compliment battle in front of a Barstool crowd that couldn’t help but stay in tune due to both battlers shining throughout. A close one that was heavy on the accolades, a bit of a slow start by Real Deal allowed Rone to edge round 1 before a slightly more punch-heavy (“Your name is Adam, who couldn’t take a rib from you?!”) RD took the 2nd round to tie things up heading into the 3rd. And with the last round being equally funny as well as a bit sentimental, it’s only right that this ends up being a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Rone – “He wouldn’t even let me pay for the pizza we had, I tried to Venmo him back and he deleted the app!”

JC defeats Head I.C.E.

Recap: From URL’s Ultimate Madness 5 tournament, round 2. The O.G. Head I’C.E. puts forth a pretty solid and competitive effort with plenty of hardbody raps, some unique, ‘bottle’-capped word association lines (with props included) and a few hitting personals. But it’s a JC heavily armed with a gang of sizzling gun bars, festering God-body punches and a fleet of seismic punchlines who earns the 30 here and moves on to the next round.

Verdict: JC (W) 3-0

Favorite line: JC – “Changing my stock, I gave every nigga I came with a Glock, no instructions, just aspirations…aim for the top!”

Swamp defeats Rum Nitty

Recap: In what was arguably his best overall performance since his Your Honor battle (tho his matchups against NJT and Ace Amin are also standouts), a more versatile, angle-lit, gritty, witty at times and personal/punchline spazzing Swamp flexes with 3 straight rounds of mostly (a couple of slip-ups in rounds 2 would help him get edged there) consistent heat to take rounds 1 and 3 and beat back a pretty solid, simile-spicy, gun bar/name flip fiery, but not as steadily hitting with the punches Rum Nitty in what was a dope battle from URL’s Summer Madness 5 tournament.

Verdict: Swamp (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Swamp – “EFB full of manure, we liked y’all better when it was kahlua, when Geechi and Rum came with Coffee in it!”

Fonz defeats Real Sikh

Recap: Dope URL Summer Madness 5 tourney matchup between Fonz and Real Sikh sees the latter get busy with a aggressive plate of hard-hitting real talk, some crazy wordplay and stining braggadocious bars. While a never-lacking-for-confidence Fonz scored left and right with a gang of sizzling name flips, witty barbs, bullish darts and a versatile array of fire punchlines which when combined allowed the Landlord to outscore his opponent in both rounds 1 and 2 for the win before a slightly more turned up and consistent Sikh edged the 3rd.

Verdict: Fonz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Fonz – “If I put a red dot on his wrap, nor Johnny or Quest can stop me from fucking up Haji!”

Pass and Ciddy [DEBATABLE]

Recap: Dope 3-rounder here from KOTD’s Season 1 tournament features Pass vs. Ciddy with both battlers bringing their A-games. What with an ever aggressive Ciddy scoring with sizzling multi’s, intricate/hardbody (“All I need is two fingers, Bruce Lee push-ups!”) punches and a bunch of hitting personals, while a just as combative Pass used a boatload of fiery name flips, boastful punchlines and piercing wordplay/style breakdowns to stay on pace with his opponent throughout the battle. Close throughout with barely any room for filler, had a slightly more haymaker-lit Pass edging round 1 before Ciddy returned the favor in round 2 to even things up. Last round might’ve been slightly edged by a still pugnacious Ciddy too if not for a hitting rebuttal by a still game Pass to start his round, therefore making this bout debatable.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Pass – “You could never be on my level, you reaching still ain’t get it, he know this Town Bidness way beyond Ciddy [city] limits!”

Bill Collector defeats Madflex

Recap: From KOTD’s Season 1 tournament, against the intricate punches of Madflex, after a doppelganger-ish turn that saw him lose the opening round to his more consistently hitting opponent, Bill Collector gets back in his bag of witty barbs, spicy contorted punchlines and stinging performance bars and returns the favor to take each of the latter rounds for the win.

Verdict: Bill Collector (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bill Collector – “Transphobic boss…I’ll fire IT!”

Nunn Nunn defeats Charron

Recap: Although we’re pretty certain that the opportunity to receive bigger paychecks played a huge part, give Charron the credit he deserves for coming back to the URL, where in the 4 battles he’s participated in this year alone, he’s had to face much stiffer competition over the course of 4 battles than he probably has during his entire career. That being said, while the Canadian vet’s penchant for fire off-the-dome polemics, killer wit, stellar personals and an often sublime punchline game will always allow him to sit at the top tier table, as witnessed here against Nunn Nunn on the Civil War 2 card, it’s Charron’s knack for longwinded rounds that often gets him in trouble. As after taking round 1 with a versatile, punch-lit, boastful and uber-witty turn that served up an abundance of haymakers and beat back a pretty solid round from his opponent, some pedestrian rebuttals and an inability to consistently match the potency of Nunn Nunn (who was steadily hardbody throughout the battle with a gang of stifling real talk darts, cunning wordplay, gritty punchlines, fiery schemes, hitting personals, spicy race angles and a dope rebuttal in round 3) during a couple of elongated turns, would edge both of the latter rounds to Nunn Nunn and give the Wilson, NC mainstay the biggest win of his battle career.

Verdict: Nunn Nunn (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nunn Nunn – “Say anythingg that ain’t true and I’m a pause your whole round like J2!”

Geechi Gotti defeats Kitchen Qleen

Recap: Finessing left and right with a fiery punch game throughout while adding his usual assortment of hard-hitting boasts, piercing name flips, a solid rebuttal and potent street talk, Geechi Gotti takes the two rounds handily and gets the win over a witty and personal-lit at times, but outside of the wisecrack-filled 3rd that scored him a debatable, not nearly as consistent with the punches Kitchen Qleen in this 3-rounder from GTX.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “You gonna be popping 30’s till you end up in the dirt fool, BUt at least ya family ain’t have to take care of you no more, see death got perks too!”

B. Magic defeats Danny Myers

Recap: Not to get emotional here, but let’s not front like seeing Danny Myers pay homage to B. Magic’s battle career the way he did in that 3rd round wasn’t touching (and deserving) to say the least. Back to the battle, tho. While Danny had some dope rebuttals and spitfire punches here and there, a flow-challenged round 1 to go along with a Magic on top of his game in the two early rounds via a gang of rapid fire punchlines that killed when it came to set-ups, wordplay, metaphors and similes, would give the St. Louis vet (who also surprisingly pulled out a new slogan) the win in this Shots Fired Battle League 3-rounder, before a slightly more potent Danny edged the 3rd.

Verdict: B. Magic (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B. Magic – “You can’t see while I’m playing, I’m the 6th man!”

Fonz defeats Pristavia

Recap: Unfortunately, having only 11 days prep can even bring the chokes out of two battlers who normally come prepared. So after the steady Christian-bashing and punch-lit Fonz loses the opening round of this URL Summer Madness 3 tournament matchup thanks to a last-minute visit from Earl, it’s only right that a gritty dart throwing and personal crazy Pristavia return the favor via a lack of remembering her bars (twice) in round 2. Split going into the 3rd, it’s the Landlord with a more consistently spicy, sexually explicit and punchline vicious turn who gets the win over a solid and gritty, but much less potent go-around from Pristavia.

Verdict: Fonz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Fonz – “I already made one girl sit down and P next!”

JC defeats O-Red (Trilogy)

Recap: Considering the fact that they’ve battled twice already in the past, it’s a little weird seeing O-Red and JC meet up for a 3rd time in the first round of URL’s Summer Madness 5 tourney no less. But whatever. As with the earlier meetings, the two battle vets kept it competitive here while banging out a slew of braggadocious punches, slick wordplay/name flips, aggressive schemes and a few hitting personals. Still however, with a 2-minute time limit per round that most likely hurt the usually interminable Red moreso than his opponent, it’s the more concise and punch-lit JC who takes each of the first two rounds for the win before a clearly more potent O-Red avoided the shutout by taking the 3rd.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – ” I could shoot all y’all at once like a family portrait, you nigga’s literally gotta get it together!”

Rum Nitty defeats Real Name Brandon

Recap: Rum Nitty, a last minute replacement for Nu Jerzey Twork in this first round URL Ultimate Madness 5 matchup against Real Name Brandon, serves up a plethora of consistently fiery name flips, sizzling wordplay and stinging punchlines to get past a pretty solid and gritty effort from RNB and get the win in a battle that was shortened to one round due to Rum having only 5 days prep.

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “This some shit to be mad for, ‘cuz they put me out this bitch with 5 days notice…I can’t wait to run into the landlord!”

Geechi Gotti defeats Tru Foe

Recap: A 5th go-around at this tournament thing and it’s embarrassing that URL still can’t get their shit together as far as organizing and getting their judging system right. First of all, pay the damn judges. Secondly, to kill any thoughts of bias, no more than 1 current battle rapper should be allowed to participate in judging. And hell no to ever having judges on stage again as there’s no way one can properly judge a battle they’ve only seen once, much less while on stage in the midst of crowd noise, rapid punches that can easily be missed upon a first listen, etc. Instead, the judges should be in the back on separate monitors with ear pieces and allowed to watch each battle again if need be. I mean, with a $100K on the line, you want to get this shit absolutely right and it doesn’t take a genius to do so. Then too, and no knock against Geechi Gotti, Rum Nitty, Fonz and Real Name Brandon (who’ve all won previous tournaments). But with as many battle rappers URL has on their roster, why not spread the wealth a little bit and give other battlers, males and females, a shot at winning the big prize? All that said, in a close battle filled of rugged street shit, braggadocious bars, some flexing wordplay and gritty gang talk from both sides, I had the slightly more hitting Gotti edging round 1, but Tru Foe out-punched Geechi in the 2nd to split things and a more punch-lit and flow steady Gotti took the final round for the win.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “Nigga, do you wanna know what would’ve happened if I shot you?, your momma would’ve seen you lying and said that’s not true [Tru]!”

Chef Trez defeats Skinny Man Bang

Recap: Choosing to go first against a rebuttal/freestyle elite like Chef Trez seems to be putting yourself at a disadvantage. But having seen the brash wizardry of Skinny Man Bang against Swamp in the past, one can’t be too surprised. And with a boatload of aggressive punches, gritty wordplay and flexing gun bars, just as ge did versus Swamp, SMB kept it competitive (even edging round 2 here). However, even on a day that saw him surprisingly fail to recollect his bars midway through the 3rd round, Trez being Trez never loses control while sizing up the room to immediately switch to freestyle mode and with a gang of steely off-the-dome heat takes the deciding final round (after edging the 1st) for the win.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “You called me God in the face-off, so why try me now?, your mind is sick, but now you thinking you gonna catch a Godbody?, I don’t think he in that 5 percent!”

Swamp defeats Shotgun Suge

Recap: From URL’s Ultimate Madness 5 tournament, despite Swamp’s slower Southern drawl serving as a bit of a hindrance in a battle with time limits, in a fiery, close and competitive bout against a pretty solid, bullish and name flip-lit Shotgun Suge, after getting edged in round 1, the South Carolina battler’s raucous punches, boastful barbs and hitting street lingistics are enough to take rounds 2 and 3 from a slightly less potent Suge and earn the win.

Verdict: Swamp (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Swamp – “It’s a difference when you look in the mirror and know you the GOAT, the stick got a switch and a button on the side like a Roku remote!”

Saynt defeats Real Deal

Recap: With KOTD champ Real Deal (outside of a fire round 3) struggling with his angles and clearly dishing a wide load of inconsistent punchlines in both of the early rounds, I’m not sure how a Saynt that was steadily killing it with a variety of shrewd punches, performance-rich gun bars and hard-hitting set-ups during rounds 1 and 2 manages to lose this battle. But oh yeah, this is KOTD and we’ll just leave it at that.

Verdict: Saynt (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Saynt – “Fuck John Cena, this Black smith is my peace maker!”

Tsu Surf defeats Cortez

Recap: A battle 10-plus years in the works, Cortez vs. Tsu Surf finally happens on the URL’s Civil War 2 card and for the most part it’s a goodie as both battlers made it competitive and came to fight. A turned up Tez (esp. during a killer 2nd round) would come packed with shitload of gritty punches to go along with some witty barbs, spicy Surf lingo flips and fiery personals. While an aggressive Surf dished a gang of stifling wordplay, hard-hitting personals (esp. during the deciding round 3) and multifaceted punches that for the most part landed hard. As for the elephant in the room that started with Aye Verb accusing Surf of ‘stealing bars’ during his opening round? Simply put, a non-starter as Surf not only has it been proven online that he didn’t plagiarize (tho he did, for a minute, have a similar cadence and rhyme pattern to that Quilly freestyle) anything, but the idea that flipping a handful of bars you’ve heard somewhere else is suddenly a flagrant foul that gets you tossed out the game would disqualify quite a few of your favorite battle rappers, including some top tiers. That said, a few things that hurt Cor a bit during this bout: choosing to go first (only because the feeling here is that with Cor having a better rebuttal game than Surf, he could’ve scored more), one too many indirect bars and the usage of that same raucous, but at times longwinded boilerplate rhyme pattern he’s been utilizing since his Grind Time days. Still, an easy decision on this one with the more haymaker-lit Surf taking rounds 1 and 3 for the win, while Cor returned the favor in round 2 to avoid the shuout.

Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tsu Surf – “They said this could go either way, listen Jon B, if you aint trying to be where Jon be, don’t listen to what people say!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Lord Nen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDBFSovrcm8

Recap: A boatload of gritty trap talk, piercing name flips and bullish/stinging punchlines gets Shotgun Sude the win over a solid/gun bar-lit and gritty, but overextended via the subpar punches Lord Nen in this 1-rounder from Hoc Rap Battle League.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “Drake on a hit, what’s gonna happen next only Lord knows!”

Pass defeats Aye Verb

Recap: Could’ve sworn that during their long battle rap careers Pass and Aye Verb had already crossed paths on the big stage. But surprisingly they hadn’t. So thanks to GTX the two vets finally meet up for a competitive matchup that featured a boatload of braggadocious darts, steely punches, solid wordplay and hitting personals/name flips. A close one that had them split (had Pass edging the opening round while Verb came back to edge the 2nd) the first couple of rounds, it’s a witty at times, more consistently-lit and personal-bent Pass who takes the deciding 3rd round for the win.

Verdict: Pass (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pass – “This will be his obituary, big words in black print, this what it was vs. what it is, they said Verb in past [Pass] tense!”

Man Murray and Swamp [DEBATABLE]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n06TIezi1CM

Recap: From HOC Rap Battle League, with both Man Murray and Swamp (“You try me and I’m going over the edge like toes and small sandals!”) equally cooking and dishing a gang of gritty punches/personals during this 1-rounder, a competitive bout is spoiled by each battler struggling with their flow to the tune of a trio of slip-ups from both sides that ended up making this one a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Man Murray – “After this they gonan say Swamp got fucked up like a natural disaster, so why the fuck are you worried about Midnight Madness when you not gonna make it to the morning after?!”

Yunus defeats Oppa

Recap: Maryland vs. Maryland. Oppa vs. Yunus on GTX in what apparently is a rematch between these two young up-n-comers battlers. And while the battel was filled with lots of energy on competitive flair on both sides, the end result was pretty decisive as Yunus’ often-exquisite wordplay, crazy schemes, witty barbs, piercing combo punches and more intricate raps/boasts were enough to score more than enough haymakers in both rounds 1 and 2 for the win before a performance-heavy Oppa was finally able to match his animated artillery with more substance and efficiency in the 3rd to edge it there and avoid a shutout.

Verdict: Yunus (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Yunus – “I could make a line about anything, I’m pathological!”

DNA defeats O’fficial

Recap: Can’t say that before this battle took place, that it didn’t cross my mind that DNA vs. O’fficial would potentially be a better bout if NWX was still a group. Well, let me admit that I was wrong. As for the most part, the two former crew members really gave it their all, while putting on a dope and competitive show. O’fficial, who had a crazy and versatile round 1 (her best), came with it, dropping a plethora of spicy gun bars, hard-hitting/mocking personals and gritty punchlines to stay close. While DNA, shrewdly rocking the crowd with a bunch of fire punches that were laced with local references, when he wasn’t scoring via a bunch of disrespectful personals, fiery wordplay and piercing set-ups/name flips, was in top form as usual. An entertaining matchup that also sliced and diced with plenty of chatter on what happened their former squad, had the slightly more potent O edging round 1, before DNA with the help of some stinging off-the-dome darts and a couple of not-quite-as-steady rounds from O’fficial, taking both of the latter turns for the comeback win.

Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1

Favorite line: DNA – “I guess why they brought me to Charlotte, so I could get my team back from New Orleans!”

Geechi Gotti and Jaz The Rapper [DEBATABLE]

Recap: Spitfire battle from URL’s Kings vs. Queens 3 card between Geechi Gotti and Jaz The Rapper as the two seasoned vets both brought their A-game’s to a bout that nary had a dull moment. Jaz, aggressive and performance-spicy from jump, punchline-lit throughout, hard-hitting with the personals amd (“Y’all wanna know if I spit or swallow? don’t matter I’m still catching a nut in the mouth!”) wordplay, adeptly utilizing her opponent’s signature moves and at times talking down to Gotti in a poised manner rarely seen, proved to be effectively strategic with her rounds. On the other hand, Geechi would never let up, the 3-time COTY dishing a bunch of potent personals on Jaz and her Bardashian crew when he lighting up the scoreboard with a gang of witty barbs, some solid off-the-dome lines, bullish punches/metaphors and scorching gun bars/street rhymes. Competitive with some dope name flips, roasting sessions and similes mixed in, a fire round 1 that featured some fiery stunting on both sides makes for a debatable before a slightly more versatile Gotti took round 2 before a slightly more condensed and punch-crazy Jaz came back to take the final round and make this one a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “You been around me and my Crips, bitch my gun was popping cherries before you even got dick!”

Tay Roc defeats Viixen The Assassin

Recap: Arguably the best battle from the URL’s Kings vs. Queens 3 card, Tay Roc and Viixen The Assassin make the case with 3 competitive and aggressive (esp. on Viixen’s part, who almost literallly knocked Roc down with a couple of her more rambunctious performance bars), gun-bar-lit, punch-heavy, witty at times and personal-crazy rounds that kept the crowd captivated throughout. But while the loud and brazen (esp. when she was flipping some of Roc’s prior shit) Viixen proved once again that she’s capable of going toe-to-toe with any top tier battler, male or female, in the end Roc just proved to be a little too much here. The B-more vet steady flexing with a more versatile, original and consistent game that also included some fire schemes, a gang of head-ringing name flips/punchlines, sizzling wordplay and a couple of dope rebuttals to edge each round and score a Gentleman’s 30.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “I ain’t got no chill, bitch don’t get rocked for real, this little white girl say ‘Catch me outside!’ and find out how a doctor feel [Phil]!”

Cortez defeats Snake Eyez

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk6pTJqOluc

Recap: From Hoc Rap Battle League, a surprising amount of witty personals from both battlers makes this 3-round Cortez vs. Snake Eyez even more entertaining. Yet, after the two split (had the heavier-punching Cortez taking round 1 before a harder-hitting and Spanglish-lit Snake took the 2nd), Tez’s continually fiery braggadocios lines, mocking personals and hard street rhymes in the final round added up to a gang of haymakers that coupled with a short and mostly pedestrian turn by Snake gives the Brooklyn capo the win.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “Nigga’s swear they Hardcore ain’t never get their belt took!”