No Bias. No Narratives.
Mister Greco Recap: D.O.T.’s performance bars not only capture the gloomy chill as well as the passion of Brooklyn rhyme-slayers, but leaves you calling 911 to come pick up Hood Apostle’s corpse too.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 3-0
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “I’ll strangle you with a rope till I see Whoopi Goldberg in you, he like ‘what that mean?’, that’s the color purple”
Recap: A rare peek from inside URL’s Vault here finds John John Da Don going up against Qleen Paper and up until Qleen pulls out his phone to remember his bars towards the end of his 3rd round (which, ironically he was receiving doubt over whether or not he’d even having a 3rd round, considering some more recent, ill-prepared performances) it was a goodie as Qleen’s mocking personals (esp. towards Rosenberg Raw), witty performance bars and gritty street boasts edged him round 1, before the versatile, set-up/punch-lit and brazen JJDD (who’s only problem here was way too many shots at Calicoe here, yunno, instead of the guy he was facing) came back to edge round 2 to even things up. However, as alluded to earlier, despite some effort that got him half-way through, a solid final turn by Qleen (against another fiery run by JJDD in the 3rd) would amount to a huge misstep by the Detroit up-n-comer when he forgot his lines and had to go to his phone to complete his round, thus helping John John seal the win.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “I hear this pussy say it again, like John John ain’t real he just faking again, I reply like ‘What nigga?!’, put the .8 to his chin, it’ll be the first time he won’t say it again!”
Recap: In a one-round battle of two emcees spitting a lot of aggressive lines, but not really saying much, Tink Tha Demon has just enough (“I seen niggas with loud mouths turn casket shy!”) shiners left in the tank to beat a cocky and aggressive, but mostly bland LB Da Boss.
Verdict: Tink da Demon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Tink Tha Demon – “All I know is shoot to kill, all I seen is bodies, bullets with no names, just ifs, and’s and probably’s!”
Recap: Too many syrupy punchlines from Casey Jay to go along with some hard-hitting personals and a fierce name-flip game gives her a well-earned 30 over a brazen and aggressive, but mostly pedestrian and flow-challenged Teekay in this Texas 3-rounder from DFW Battle League.
Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “These two guns come together like they Siamese twins, killing a couple, that’s why I call ’em Hers and His!”
Recap: I hate ties, but this one could definitely go either way. I mean, Big Kannon came with his usual m.o.: sizzling bars, jokes, schemes, personals all wrapped up in a dope performance. But the always underrated Money Bagz came with a total barfest that was so surprisingly (“My homie had to use the sweeper 3 times in one day, now that’s a neat freak!”) consistent, overall it matched BK’s palette. Regardless, no matter who you think won, if Money Bagz were to make a case for getting on the big stage with Smack, he’d be well within his rights to use battle to cement his argument.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “But why he been sleeping?, when the thing that I’m keeping is a nice banger, long beam, light from the sco look like a lightsaber, come out with your green or see that tommy, that’s the white ranger to put a hole in anything sweet, that’s a life saver”
Recap: Whew! Kinda battle that makes you actually yearn for the Fight Klub days where you had a pool table between the rappers therefore making touching each other a non-issue. That said, I don’t have a problem with any battle rapper not wanting to be touched during a battle, but with all the performance bars and hand gesturing that’s in play these days, it doesn’t take being a rocket scientist to know the difference between being touched (Dubz barely grazed him) accidentally and someone outright disrespecting you with their hands. Then too, since it’s Cityy Towers who started the whole brouhaha (again, he had every right to be bothered by the touching, but I don’t think Dubz meant any disrespect with any of it), to be fair, all that gesturing at the camera while his opponent spits and/or grilling his opponent isn’t cool either, much less displays poor sportsmanship. Too bad for all distractions that came with the extra shit, because bar for bar and style for style this was a really dope battle. I got Towers edging taking the 1st and 2nd rounds, while Dubz clearly got the 3rd.
Verdict: Cityy Towers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cityy Towers -“You’re a Buckingham’s Palace guard, your career’s a stand still”
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Best line: DNA – “But since you like Michael Vick, it should ne no problem when this eagle spit, this nigga Calicoe be fighting with chickens more then Peter Griffin”
Recap: The only battle rapper who’ll never need a hype man, if you wanna understand Danny Myers struggle (“Danny boy ain’t trying to have a career like Danny Boy“) and where the hell all that energy comes from this is the battle to watch. I mean 10 kids!!! Has he ever heard of something called a vasectomy? Regardless, Myers steals the show here from an earnest, but just alright Mark Miner, taking him to town with haymakers, consistent aggression, a nice Death Row scheme and flat-out (“FBI will be looking for a minor [Miner] like an Amber Alert”) bars. Yikes, indeed.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “It’s like I took a bible up to the 2nd floor the way I come up with verses”
Recap: Nothing too out of the ordinary here as Dutchess and Bonnie Godiva use pretty standard dishes of mayhem, personals, witty barbs and punches to get their point across in this 3-rounder from RBE. And while the ever-bombastic Dutchess had the best round of the night with a sizzling 2nd round after a debatable 1st, a pretty mediocre 3rd by Dutch would allow the slightly punch-heavier Bonnie to edge the final round and make this one a draw.
Verdict: Debatable
Favorite line: Dutchess – “Bon-Bon, look around you, we all know you was sucking off John John!”
Recap: Flexing some nice wordplay, fortified gun lines and hard, braggadocio bars throughout this one-round matchup, R Streetz withstands the swift, sometimes fiery punches of Tony Gwaop, who if he didn’t spend a quarter of his turn going at other rappers besides his opponent might’ve stood a better chance at beating the guy in front of him.
Verdict: R Streetz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: R Streetz – “Nigga, you smell fake, [so] when this little nigga pop up on you, it ain’t Hell Date!”
Recap: Ill Will versus B. Magic is a close one throughout with the always punchline-heavy Magic dishing too much heat in taking the 1st round, before Will overcomes a bit of a slow start and returns the favor with a barrage of heated punches and potent schemes to outshine a less potent Magic, take the 2nd and split things going into the 3rd. With Magic still punching efficiently in the deciding round, but failing to meet the high barometer he set in the 1st, a more versatile with the bars, name flip savvy and witty Will does more than enough to take the round and the win.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ill Will – “You nobody till somebody kill you, that’s what Biggie taught, think you could outrun these shells? that’s what Ricky thought!”
Recap: Nice battle. D-Money represented, the “I’ll Quiet the room, I’ll get his queen flipped” line was ill (esp. with what I guess was Prep’s girl in the room) as was the “I got a young shooter that’s dying to put in work, he’ll spit that heat for just enough money to roll weed with” bar if you like that G talk. But a little too much filler (not including explaining what happened with his lackluster PG battle) and his homies gassing up his bars (esp. the “.357…long nose…pelican” line) was just a little too much to bear. That said, Prep proves once again that he’s a problem, not just out-dressing his opponent, but winning with some nice wordplay (“He got it back words [backwards], thinking he could spar with raps”), personals (“…..I know y’all hoped D Rose to the occasion but his PG was on some bullshit!”), quality freestyles in the middle of the written, fresh schemes and dope bars.
Verdict: Prep (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Prep – “This was the wrong one to bank on, Norbes should’ve put Money in a Vault”
Recap: Whatever that “shit” is, Danny Myers was certainly cooking here. Spouting rigid bars on how many ways he can take out BE-Z, when he mentions “clothes-lining this nigga like my dryer broke”, you’re left with no choice but to believe him.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I’m vicious with these hands, I’ll make your whole shit crack, doctors will put so many plates in your face your x-ray will look like a dish rack”
Recap: Dirtbag Dan, apparently a Bay-area “legend” in his own mind, gets bodied by Charlie Clips’ arsenal of exquisite wordplay, nice schemes, friendly rebuttals and witty bars.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “We both Mexican, because I’m serving every kind of shell out of that one truck”
Verdict: T Top (W) 3-0
Favorite line: T Top – “Nasty with a noose, at no time his neck could fit, I thought he was dead, but it was hanging on his second chin”
Recap: Here we witness some moments here and there from the witty and braggadocio (“There’s two legends from the West-coast right? Me and Tupac!”) punches of Jay Scott. But in this West-coast AHAT Battle, Dre Vishiss’ overall wordplay, sport-themed darts and salacious punchlines/personals edges each round for the win.
Verdict: Dre Vishiss (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dre Vishiss – “Now this nigga playing hard, but turn fraud when he got issues, knowing that he extra soft, we all know Scot’s tissue!”
Recap: Despite some J. Murda chick/stan in the crowd almost ruining the match by talking throughout the rounds, J. Murda stays at ease and uses heavy punchlines, steady aggression and wild schemes to take out an inconsistent and too-long-with-the-angles Whosane, who in light of the crowd antics still didn’t have enough to stay with Murda.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 3-0
Favorite line: J. Murda -“You suck pussy and you tasting this casket, in both ways you eat the box”
Synopsis: Warning to all battle rappers: DO NOT battle Goodz in a one-rounder. Really now. And there’s no sense trying to spin this one as despite a solid effort from Danja Zone, a Henny-holding, gem-dropping and versatile Goodz was just clicking (“Thinking you on, well you wrong, you had a classic with NuBorn, no for real you had a CLASSIC with NuBorn”) on all cylinders here. Indeed, BX all day.
Verdict: Goodz (W) 1-0
Best line: Goodz – “Where’s the charisma at?, that was today’s lesson, matter fact y’all battle rappers should’ve met me on Christmas, I was giving out stage presence (presents)!”
Recap: “He weight-hating!” LOL!!! Seriously tho, a little surprised a vet like Marvwon would try to out bully the likes of Head Ice here. Sure, Marv had a couple of nice (“He ain’t gonna be the same when he leave Minnesota, nigga this gonna be like Marbury all over again”) bars, but with so many angles to choose from, you’d think he’d know better almost spending his entire round on “Who’s Harder?” semantics, esp. when at times it didn’t look like even he could take what he was spitting that seriously. Still, Ice being Ice, spends half his round spitting hilarious fat (“I don’t give a fuck how much water in your knees, your titties may kill you in your sleep, cuz we black folks”) jokes and the rest of it that street shit he’s renowned for, working both lanes to full effect with a performance to match then heading back to Harlem with another vic on his hands.
Verdict: Head Ice (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Head Ice -“I’m your boss today, and I feel like you taking up too much office space, so…’CLIP!’…’BOOF!’…you off today!”
Recap: Nice QOTR Sparring Session 3-round punchfest between Casey Jay and Miami Blaize, after a debatable round 1, goes Casey’s way as the Texas battler’s thrifty wordplay and lyrically-sharper boasts easily beat back her hitting-at-times, but less consistent and also flow-challenged opponent.
Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “When I sneak her, she’ll get dropped faster than Reebok did Rick Ross!”
Recap: Definitely not a body, but outside the fat jokes Syahboy wasn’t really hitting with any frequency while Big Kannon came with enough hot bars, schemes, jokes (“You been on 106? Well, so has Nuborn, bitch you have done nothing”) and wordplay to edge each round.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Syahboy – “Your bitch gave me long tongue, Chuck Taylors”
Recap: From Brooklyn Mic Club, solid display of punches from Firekidd who came with a boatload of random street missives that often landed. But in what was a close and competitive matchup throughout, a more versatile-punching, consistently gritty, witty at times and engaging with a wide series of spicy 4 bar-setups Eazy The Block Captain manages to take both of the opening rounds for the win before Firekidd edged the 3rd.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “My team strong, you Reggie, you a casualty, 1st of the Month beef, you get jacked automatically!”
Recap: Can’t front, close battle, almost too close, almost a debatable. But after a few listens the edge goes to Yung Ill only because the feeling here is that he put more effort into the battle while outbarring (not so much haymakers, but a lot of jabs/punches) and using more angles on K-Shine, who relied a little too heavily on performance and a few angles in which only one stood out (Ill stretching his schemes was nice, the ‘Who Is This Nigga?’ semantics was ok, but the ‘Is Ill Gay?’ shit has been played to death). Then too the Hitman Holla remix, while funny to watch, didn’t quite hit on effect and Shine’s attempt to pack so much heat in short rounds was sorta hit (that “You stop for a minute and stretch every line and then you started using hard” line in round 3 had to hurt) or miss while overall Ill was more consistent with the bars, storytelling, punchlines and performance.
Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Yung Ill – “I could talk about his priorities but ‘X’ that, I’m a contract killer I’m just signing where the ‘x’ at!”
Recap: Illaniz: “You gonna lose due to lack of performance and preparation”. Who knew Illanoiz was in the prophecy business? That being said, despite spitting what turned out to be a (“So if daddy brush here [hair], then I’m banging it on him, you see the Pops hit his waves like Adrian Broner”) decent first round, D Gunna does the inexplicable…choking during his round two and proceeding to quit right afterwards in an all-important Proving Grounds matchup. So it’s an easy bodybag for Illanoiz, who displayed enough versatility, a too-ill board game scheme and crazy (“Seen the laptop and some money, I took his mac-n-cheese [Mac and cheese] and I’m coming back if your chain make my collar green”) wordplay during his two rounds, that he probably would’ve won the battle anyway–too bad that Gunna’s complete meltdown didn’t allow us to find out.
Verdict: Illanoiz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Illanoiz – “That shotty will pilate your body, better be flexible”
Recap: I’d love to call this one for Chess as he certainly outnumbered Young Criss on haymakers, wordplay and performance, but those stumbles combined with a pretty dope and almost flawless performance from (“You say you do dirt? How much can you do when you under some?”) Young Criss hurt him overall. Regardless, for being only 16, Chess is way too nice…so check his ID anyway.
Verdict: Young Kriss (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chess – “Y’all think this nigga got drive?, well if he staring down tell him not to bring his car clothes [close] to me, cuz’ I’m shooting at tire it’ll wear him out”
Recap: Lots of mediocre/predictable bars on both sides, but a Gwitty choke in the 2nd along with a shortened 3rd, allowed for Bishop White’s more consistent flow and random haymakers to garner extra shine and in turn, an easy win.
Verdict: Bishop White (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bishop White: “Your mars like Math Hoffa’s right hand…bad for the culture!”
Recap: As seen here, there’s a big difference between battle rapping and rapping on a beat. With that said, Mack Mel’s more cohesive punches/gun bars make for a clean win over the rapid flow of Mr. Bey which might’ve been better served in a booth.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Macl Mel – “I’m that black Mr. Miyagi, with that hockey mask, fuck Tae-kwon do, nigga welcome to the shotty class, when I let my Mossberg talk…it don’t lollygag!”
Recap: Bit of controversy surrounded this 2-round battle between JC and Knalo G as the Pontiac, Michigan rapper would recycle a gang of bars used here in a later battle against Tay Roc. That said, up-n-comer Knalo G wasn’t bad here, the Minnesota rapper dishing enough sturdy punches and witty (“You 4-foot nuthin’, I would hate to play Hide-n-Seek with you!”) personals to edge round 1, before a more bar efficient and punch-heavier JC easily took the 2nd round over his flow-challenged and mostly subpar opponent to make this one a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: JC – “These coke-sniffing battle rappers are clearly paying for the wrong lines, nigga!”
Synopsis: Dope battle, a definite barfest, both came and did their thing. However, as much as Steams’ 3rd round was over-the-top on bars (“You’ll hear a pow then Boom in a cloud like a Batman fight”), performance and delivery, the feeling here is that Boom flexed a little more (and upped his bars) in the starter (that scheme transition lines was mean!) rounds to get the victory by a nose.
Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ah Di Boom – “I swear I’m like Majin Buu the way I’m ’bout to body Steams”
Recap: Some rich (“Gun line after gun line with the same punchline…OLD, that shit ain’t New [Nu] Jerzey!”) name flips and a more versatile round 3 (combined with a short turn by his opponent) saves him from getting shut out, but other than that Big Homie couldn’t provide much else. And when faced against Nu Jerzey Twork’s repertoire of fat jokes, aggressive (“When I dump the steel, you’ll see this fat man yelling at will [Will] like Uncle Phil!”) gun chatter and hitting schemes/punchlines, a quality win on the road just wasn’t in the cards
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Nigga I’m the boss, but when I’m firing these Tek’s involved, I’ll put him in the air…higher than his cholesterol!”
Recap: This kid Jimz has potential (“I’ll show you what to really do with this pussy, like the karmasutra”), seemed to have worked on his versatility and wordplay, but regardless of how many top tier battle rappers he disses, he’s gotta work harder on his authenticity, find a sense of humor (trust me, showing your funny side can win you battles), quit biting lines and get more complex with the bars. Besides that, after pretty much snoozing through round 1, Ty Law woke up and just spazzed, breaking down his opponent’s artillery with punchline (“I’m the one that said I’ll let revolvers blast, no movie thing, shoot the scene like Heartless’ dad”) after punchline (“Annoying single, I ain’t never heard a cornier hit, don’t blink get your eye shot, cornea hit”) along with personals and (tho Jimz’ 3rd was nice, esp. that “I stay with my ratchet, that’s my black girl bitch….black girl itch” line was fire!) crazy execution to come back and get the win.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ty Law – “All them rounds in his head like the nigga practicing his bars”
Recap: Tay Roc goes postal in the first two rounds here against JC, delivering a splendid round of (“Once these HIT MEN your brother gone have to hold u up, get close enough then Dose you up!”) haymakers, sizzling gun (“Laid my mag down she new I wasn’t tryin to fuck”) bars, congenial wordplay, aggressive (“I caught him with his bitch, I had time enough, I whipped out my blade and laid my Mac down, she knew I wasn’t try to fuck”) punchlines and personals to not only take this highly entertaining battle, but score yet another win against a Michigan spitter. JC’s 3rd round was crazy (“I’ll fry to the death, Paul Walker”) nice with nice schemes, wordplay and metaphors galore, but taking somewhat long with his set-ups, using nonsensical angles (treating Roc like a no-name by saying you didn’t even do any “research” on him was a non-starter) and a little too much filler during rounds (tho the “Paramount” scheme was nice) 1 and 2, took out any chance he had to compete with Roc here.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “I’m not a Vice Lord, my brothers are, so I eat with 12 like the Last Supper”
Synopsis: The Deadman got’s some jokes (“When you was playin’ checkers, I was playin’ chess, and when you was playin’ chess, I was done playin’ games”) and performance ability, but his flow needs serious work and he isn’t nearly consistent enough to put up a fight against Chilla Jones, who uses solid wordplay, dope scheme and rigid name flips to easily take the win.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0
Best line: Chilla Jones – “My toasters may spread you, your toasters make bagels”
Recap: Apparently so confident in his chances against his opponent that he wrote a shortened 3rd round, it’s ultimately a strong 2nd that most separates Jai from Lance, whose mostly pedestrian bars failed to match his moxy or aggression.
Verdict: Jai (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jai – “But Lance, you do nothing right so I’m a tell you what you do wrong, you perpetrate, so it’s FU like Too Wong!”
Synopsis: Damn, this is a close one, both came with it, literally spitting that heat. Got the 2nd and 3rd rounds tied/debatables, 1st round edged to T Top on the versatility: visceral bars, metaphors (“Where I’m from you throw up something you got some shit to prove”), name flips and personals.
Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T Top – “Basically what I’m saying be cool or die, I let them boys sing in a group it ain’t Coolie High”
Recap: Really good battle between Lotta Zay and Kg The Poet as both spit plenty of heat and put forth a dope battle for the KOTD fans in attendance. Still, it’s Lotta who edges this one, pulling off a comeback by stepping up his bars and using his experience and cool to withstand the biased crowd. KG, clearly the crowd favorite throughout (esp. when he spouted some terrific hometown schemes), came crazy (“But don’t try bull cuz if so my wolves will come hurt you Lot and give a Walker with this Cowboy, out come Herschel [hearse you] Lot”) from jump with plenty of aggressive punchlines and high-end (“Nigga, you still begging John John for a 3rd battle, the plot just thickens”) banter throughout, but seemed to lose a little steam by round 3 as his bars became less and less potent. That made room for Lotta Zay to cook, esp. after an average 1st round and run with a new gameplan: all-too-funny personals, stifling wordplay, fiery schemes and heavy (“You thinking it’s your time now, this solider basic training, I ain’t even supposed to be giving you live rounds”) bars and get a nice win on the road for Jersey.
Verdict: Lotta Zay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Lotta Zay – “Your bitch is a fan of me bastard and she said your sex just don’t feel real no more, so I fuck her in ass so hard she can’t sit down like a guest on the Steve Wilkos show”
Recap: Even a hilarious (“Cuz when I get in ‘Drive’ you see da feet, that’s the car from Barney Rubble…accel [Xcel]”) 1st round, steady name flips and ever-present antics from Daylyt can’t interrupt or stop the stampede of punchlines and killer (“I’m not one to bet against, I’ll show up with arms on your table like fuck etiquette”) performance bars from a consistently on-point Xcel who proceeds to win this Trap House battle with relative ease.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “Your screws loose, all that mean to me is two to your dome, beat me?, you couldn’t get this double U [W] with a clone”
Recap: From Pit Fights Battle League, gritty and aggressive 3-rounder between Murda and Rolla sees the latter’s hardbody punches, mocking personals and frequent bouts of mayhem amass enough heat to take both of the opening rounds for the win against a condensed and raucous, but until round 3, not quite as consistently hitting opponent.
Verdict: Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Murda – “Go stainless steel, he don’t bang for real like dry humping!”
Synopsis: I can get with the “Quiet Room” concept, it’s something new and different, but 8 minutes of BS before the actual battle?!? Really??? Anyway, this is more about John John losing this than Charlie Clips winning as John John continued use of Serius Jones’ “Multiple Choice, All of the Above” scheme is an utter joke, the hula-hoop bar he used seemed very familiar and JJDD even stealing Clips “sike” line was straight corny. Charlie, despite some stumbles, won this easy with better freestyles and personals than JJDD’s written’s.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Best line: Charlie Clips – “Stuttered against Yung Ill, so what, when you on a Spree well, you get to choke like that”
Recap: Early B. Dot, much less righteous pontificating and more of a solid punching, name-flip swinging, a little personal and actually displaying some wit here and there in this competitive battle versus the rapid-punching and rebuttal capable Knoeital. The two swap the first two rounds before in what was a pretty tight deciding 3rd, a slightly more pointed and consistent edges the round for the win.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Dot – “Basically you should only speak when you’re spoken to, but I find that ironic [‘cuz] a closed mouth can get fed lead until they open you!”
Recap: From WBL Philly, all Eazy The Block Captain here as the PA emcee’s ability to not only kick a gang of consistently spitfire punches put him ahead, but the versatility, rigid name flips/schemes/gun bars and knack for inserting wit in his even more brazen of rhymes combines to overwhelm (esp. during a sublime 2nd round) a gritty-punching, but topsy-turvy (esp. when he was wasting bars on one of his peers on stage) G. Lowe.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “I’ll never have a Debo or Craig momemt…why?, ‘cuz I’ll just shoot the nigger!”
Recap: Utilizing effective screeds of dry humor, mocking personals and a bunch of witty jokes on the Gym coach profession (which he shares with his opponent), after getting edged in round 1 to a rebuttal-spitting and consistently solid-punching Real Deal, UK rapper Ogmios comes back with a stellar round 2 and another fire 3rd to win what was altogether a dope and competitive battle from Don’t Flop.
Verdict: Ogmios (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ogmios – “Just listen to his words, ‘6am I wake, it’s cold as death in the city of steel, I don’t shave to symbolize how pretty I feel’, that is deep bro, so your whole face is a metaphor!”
Recap: M. Ciddy may not be a top tier battle rapper (yet), but he’s not a mid-tier either, more like somewhere in-between or better yet, a gatekeeper if you will for the top tiers, which should garner him respect wherever he battles. Like here against an able up-n-comer like Showoff, who had to know that he’d better bring his A-game if he was going to stand a chance against the likes of Ciddy. And barring a couple of minor slip-ups, Showoff does just that with fierce wordplay, name flips, performance bars, potent (“Why do you still write? I mean you had a couple of lines, but you don’t kill mics, made me wish I could fast-forward you in real life”) teasers and earnest bully (“You say my squad brought the singer with them, I give a right hook I ain’t trying to feature with him”) lines. Yet for all of his opponents efforts, M. Ciddy still does him one better with crazy (“Push was outshining you like Malice and Clipse”) personals, ill set-ups, a nice rebuttal in round 3, wordplay (“I’m blacking on the web like Eddie Brock”), aggressive punchlines and flat-out wicked (“We wouldn’t see Show guns with Japan leaders”) bars. A victory for M. Ciddy, but overall one of the better battles of 2013.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “John Heard you got bars and you probably nice, I let a shot go ‘By!’ [bi] like Wanda Sykes, and take herd out the game, Jumanji dykes [dice]”
Recap: Considering the names here, except for Clips 3rd round, this battle was a little disappointing. But IMO that’s more on Surf’s part. I mean, not only does Surf have a huge (albeit rare) slip-up, but most of his bars were basic and I thought he would’ve used more angles along with personals on Clips–hell, even some nice “What I Gotta Put In Subtitles?” schemes could’ve done damage and possibly given Surf a win (w/o a slip-up of course). Just seemed like the energy/motivation just wasn’t there for Surf, surprising considering a clear win over the likes of Clips would look good on anyone’s resume. I gave Surf the round because it was clearly his best and cuz’ Clips finished his kinda lame, Clips clearly got the 2nd and 3rd tho.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “I’ll search for him then click on Surf, that’s a YouTube app, the gun under this Big T going [sound effects] ‘beep, beep, bigidiy, boukou bap'”
Recap: Love Tay Roc’s reactions here in this nice PG battle. That said, Jay Rell has a dope freestyle (the Drake jokes killed) game, jokes and can spit the occasional hard-hitting (“My niggas dumping bury [Berry] like Eric Benet”) bar, but against a Ty Law at his best, dropping rapid (“The .40 ugly when he signing, Bobby Brown”) punchlines after (“My bullets all racist, they be knockin’ niggas melon in [melanin]”) punchlines along with terrific flow and wordplay, combined with his slip-ups there was just no way Rell could keep up.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ty Law – “When somethin’ from the 80’s get stuck in his head, bitch it ain’t ‘Computer Love'”
Recap: Villun’s often mean (hey, it worked to enough effect to get him a debatable round 2), but redundant personals on his opponent’s mom aside, this one really wasn’t that close as DNA’s variety of fiery punchlines, fly schemes, creative sermonizing and spitfire personals manage to easily beat back Villun’s otherwise pedestrian bars in rounds 1 and 3 for the win.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Besides tonight, he been getting fucked by DNA his entire life!”
Recap: In a battle that went on way too long, by the time Super Black shows up in the 3rd round (after a very pedestrian and long-winded 1st and 2nd) it’s way too late as Krucial Ken’s race-baiting lines, righteous name flips, aggressive punchlines and spirited gun bars all prove to be too much for an opponent who waited too late to make things competitive.
Verdict: Krucial Ken (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Krucial Ken – “Tell ya bitch, I’ll power too [power her too], I’ll power tool nigga, dis Black and Deck her, ‘cuz one shot from this will floor him and drop his botch, it’ll hit Black and Deck her!”
Recap: Both Lotta Zay and Emerson Kennedy spout a load of congenial wordplay in this feelgood one-rounder from AHAT. However, despite his best efforts on direct name flips and other more non-PC bars, Zay’s overall body of work fails to beat back a more verbally flippant and consistent Kennedy, tho it might’ve taken EK a little longer to get in his bag.
Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy -“That drama all the same tho, the llama in my plain clothes, it’ll steam a nigga’s onion, Benihana volcano!”
Recap: Able to display more versatility with her bars and out-punch her raucous, but mostly pedestrian opponent Dutchess for the first two rounds, before getting edged in the round 3, an ever aggressive, witty and wordplay/personal-lit MyVerse earned the win in this 3-rounder from VoiceBox Battles.
Verdict: MyVerse (W) 2-1
Favorite line: MyVerse – “At home, she think the goons gonna be taking a shot…out here, you could get killed by Neighborhood Watch!”
Recap: Fire battle between (“…well I can’t front pimp, I got a gun like that too, they just shipped it in from Spain nigga, on the box it says ‘Big Fucking Gun’, it ain’t even got a name nigga!”) Mr. Mills and (“50 nigga’s outside waiting for Mills like a soup kitchen!”) Danny Myers sees the two use some crazy schemes, dope set-ups, potent gun bars, comedic wit and fiending punchlines to split the first couple of rounds. 3rd round however is a different story as Danny’s continued prowess for spitfire punches at a rapidly consistent pace easily beats a solid, but slightly pontificating and not nearly as strong a turn from Mills.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “You was never known for being on the corner, you a cul-de-sac!”
Recap: In this one-rounder from GO-Rilla Warfare and Black Ice Cartel, you can tally up Midwest Miles’ witty (“If a bitch say she had DNA inside her, then she was raped!”) personals and it still won’t make up for too many pedestrian raps as well as DNA’s more versatile round of room-shaking (“You, Cal and X, when’s the last time y’all 3 won 3 [313]?!”) punchlines, banging freestyles and fierce personals/gun bars.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “I could respect a nigga losing to Tech-9 off performance, but you lost to him lyrically!”
Recap: Rex probably got the line of the night, but in front of his hometown fans Hitman put on a better show combining hard hitting (“This battle can go from legendary to legend buried!”) bars with personals, more creativity and another dope performance. For a one-rounder, still a close and pretty good battle.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T-Rex -“I hold my gun more than I hold my son”
Synopsis: Dope battle. But the optics here–from way too much daps between the rappers to the overkill on crowd reactions (esp. on Lush One’s part)–definitely lessens the replay value. That said, while I doubt you’ll ever see a more animated, funny (“I’ll rip up your daughters spelling test and that’s the one she got ’em all right”) and consistently nice Danny Myers, it still wasn’t enough for Rum Nitty’s more consistent punches (“I don’t care what language he speak cuz’ after we meet i bet he pronounced dead”), personals, wordplay (“If your bitch owe me money, fuckin’ right I’ll be on the ho, hop out the car son (Carson) and open palm her (Palmer) like a Cardinal”) and haymakers (“One in the right, one in the left hand, two techs nigga, they both sing with a lisp, so they do wet (duet) niggas”, esp. in round 3, where after 2 rounds that could’ve went either way, Nitty edges it in the end.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Best line: Danny Myers – “I’ll cut you in so many pieces your funeral will be on a conveyor belt!”
Recap: Charlie Clips gets an easy paycheck, showing up with one written round (which includes a hilarious comedy skit featuring oranges…yes, oranges) while taking full advantage of his freestyle game to get the win in this clear mismatch against the nonsensical “Gay Goodz” from the UK.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “Yunno what let’s not make this debatable, I’m trying to show y’all that I been a vet, you’ll get naked, toss salad, then get to dressing…you Vinaigrette!”
Recap: Liked the way Erie Ave Marz was able to go right into some backup bars when he found himself slipping up with his written’s during the latter half of his turn. But one too many indirect punches by Marz and an Eazy The Block Captain delivering a steely display of fiery punchlines, some solid wordplay and feisty schemes gives the Norristown, PA, native the win in this 1-rounder from Traphouse Battle Leegue.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Take your daughter and drown her in natural water, give her that Fiji!”
Recap: Never lacking for confidence all the while overwhelming his opponent with a boatload of mocking personals, gritty punchlines, witty barbs and potent schemes, in this 3-rounder from KOTD, Caustic makes going past the time limit a non-factor, easily beating back a mostly pedestrian Cortez in each round to score a 3-0.
Verdict: Caustic (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Caustic – “What does it say about you as a man when a bitch named Medusa can’t get your dick hard?!”
Recap: Dope 1-rounder from ENJ Battle Grounds sees SammyWild100s deliver a variety of raucous punches that lit up the scoreboard with increased intensity. But after opening his round with a fly rebuttal, a more condensed Real Deal goes on to dish a gang of consistent hard-hitting punchlines, potent personals and witty zingers to edge the vic.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “I’m not hating on you Sammy, I’m trying to see you make it, I hope your fat ass gets a foot in the door before diabetes takes it!”
Recap: There’s overkill and then there’s this battle between Dizaster and the UK’s Unanymous, a testament to rap proficiency, but also a testament to the need for time limits in battles, especially during a 3rd round that went on way too long. Still, a competitive showing from both battlers, who with similar rap styles, a seeming dislike for one another, a love for multi-syllabic schemes, boastful darts, fiery personals, witty jokes and in Dizaster’s case, a need to flex and nearly fight both his opponent and some dude in the crowd, certainly kept things entertaining. That said, the battle itself was an easy one to judge with Diz getting out-punched in the 2nd round, but taking the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “Fuck Unan’, he said some shit about a prayer mat, and now he’s gonna fucking hit her bareback, right?, but your mother blaze crack, you know why I would say that?, cause she’s the only person on Earth that’s ever found the needle in the haystack!”
Recap: South Jersey vs. North Jersey in this two-rounder from Block City featuring Shotgun Suge against Lotta Zay. Both went in, each bringing consistent heat, jokes and aggression, but Suge gets both rounds here with a better performance (“Fat nigga kick him all in his shit like Rikishi” with the legkick) bars, grittier wordplay and nicer punchlines.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “But you be acting like you wild or somethin’, nigga where you from the corner store like a mile or somethin'”
