No Bias. No Narratives.
Mister Greco Recap: Hey, I’m never one to kick a man while he down, but considering what’s at stake Proving Gorunds has gotsa be the worst place to pull a choke…not once, but twice no less. Smh.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 3-0
Favorite line: prez mafia -“I got these flows down to a Tee, bars over everything, put the shine in the left hand and watch it wedding ring [wet-n-ring]”
Synopsis: I think Chilla said it best here: “I don’t waste lines”. While the underrated YK brought it with typical energy and performance behind his gritty bars (“[This] the lame boyfriend versus the side nigga who’s smashing two”). Where YK fails is his lack of ingenuity. For example, that “I just spelled your name out and you ain’t even know it” scheme, while nice, has been done before…by Chilla. Plus there was a little too much filler in between his best bars (esp. not good for a one-rounder, just ask Goodz who kills one-rounders). Also, some of his lines were nonsensical (that “Ginobili…free throw” diss was ass-backwards when you consider the facts) and his best line of the night might’ve been towards a guy he wasn’t battling: “I never got robbed in my own hood, I ain’t Cortez” (although that “You tell niggas to hold on to your words, then you drop the ball” and “Your hairline should have a nickname, LeHitman James” jokes were too funny). Then too the irony here is that not only does Chilla Jones do schemes better than YK, but the only reason he gets called “boring” by his peers and some battle rap fans is because too many of his bars go over their heads (talk about needing the rewind button) upon first listening.
So forget the biased home crowd as Chilla gets the win here, immediately addressing YK on his style disses (“I rap depressing and lack aggression, right? It’s simple, well my niggas will put a hole in your face, I tell them pull (dimple)”), adding a dope car scheme in the middle and finishing YK off with a “sex offender” scheme that even had his opponent nodding his head in agreement. Condensed bars, less filler, better personals together with killer wordplay throughout….it’s Jones all day.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 1-0
Best line: Chilla Jones – “Lemme ask you, who demand a kill and think Kannon will? Well please don’t, cuz he wont but I can n’ will, I’m a fire at his tire, let a clip hit Kannon wheel, somebody write Kannon will, then when he die in debt, his daughter will owe (Willow) like Kannon will (Will))”
Synopsis: In front of a gassed, but supportive crowd UK’s Dialect drops some memorable bars, punches (“You are not a nigga’!”), jokes, crowd pleasers and a Biggie/Pac scheme that was clearly winning. But as you’d expect, Cortez’s name flips, personals, “plane” scheme and wordplay made it a close battle. Give it to Dialect if only for displaying better consistency as Cortez’s two slip ups and failed rebuttal ended up doing him in.
Verdict: Dialect (W) 2-1
Best line: Cortez – “”I can body son with this Tommy gun so I keep it calm, [but] if that barrel poking out the window it’s a peeping Tom”
Recap: In this one-rounder from ENJ Battle Grounds, Steams struggles with his flow at times but is still able to dish some fire (“You might win a round, if that, don’t get Conceited, I’m known to hold more Ill rounds than Smack!”) wordplay…but in between a lot of mediocre average bars that failed to land. On the other side, a way more consistent Cream wastes no time shredding his opponent with steadily nice (“I hold weight on my block, I make everybody in the street go off, yeah you work for Housing, but won’t be no fixing shit if this [makes like he has gun] heat go off!:) punchlines and spirited name flips that combined to give him the win/
Verdict: Cream (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Cream – “I’m glad you rep Crip when you rapping and talking, at least you know it’s gonna take 6 nigga’s to carry your coffin!”
Recap: As usual Charlie Clips is nice (not counting letting Ill rattle him in the 2nd round) with his, delivering three vigorous rounds of heat on an able (that “fart around” line was horrible), but clearly not at his best Yung Ill. Still, I’d much rather see Yung Ill healthy and able to spit 3 clear rounds than see him look bad and choke as we’ve seen in the recent past.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “See I show the world we got different skills, see the difference is you throw-up, I’m Precious on her period, that’s a different ill”
Synopsis: Cortez has always been known for kicking that real, aggressive shit. But rightly guessing that guns bars will only get you so far , he’s done a good lately of building his resume with clever wordplay, better performances and some creative jokes. It’s no wonder he’s been reppin’ well of late, no matter the battle league. However, as well as Cortez represented on the road here in Chi-town, Big Kannon just put on a better show, especially with the bars (that “closed caption”–clothes, cap, shin–line hit hard). Then too, the “Ernesto” jokes were hilarious and even Cortez would have to give it up to a guy who battled him without using any Mexican lines. A dope battle nonetheless between two able competitors that deserved to go 3 rounds.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 1-0
Best line: Cortez – “Real nigga’s look at him and what they say? ‘he don’t bang chrome nigga’, but the bitches look at him and what they say?, ‘he a friend zone nigga’
Recap: In what was a pretty standard affair of boastful punches, raunchy/spicy personals, real rap talk, modest gun bars/mayhem and gritty 4-bar setups, Nu Jerzey Twork dishes enough consistent heat in the 1st and 3rd rounds to get the win over Cadillac Red during this 3-rounder from Square Circle Battle League.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “But you said you a weed man nigga, that’s what you popping in the street, you said you had them pounds and you was coppin’ them for cheap, so I was waiting for the lik, I be poppin’ for the weed, I’m like George of the Jungle how I watch out for the tree!”
For three rounds Mike P’s fiery schemes, witty personals and potent (“While you was prepping those gun lines soon and hitting me with rape quotes, I was stuck in Mt. Moon and didn’t have an escape route!”) jokes hit so hard that his Chi-town opponent is left with nothing in his tank but a wild sucker punch that I’m not sure even landed. Either way, Mike is now battling on Smack/URL as I write this, while his no-name opponent hasn’t been heard from since.
Verdict: Mike P (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Mike P – “I get busy when I’m on it, the ground shake, You? a Dre and Drizzy performance, you softer than pound cake!”
Synopsis: Charron puts on an epic show in front of his hometown fans, consistently delivering dope bars, punchlines, jokes, rebuttals and personals (“I’ll give this Crip metal like the Special Olympics”) to easily take out da Rebel. How mad was Arsonal (granted he had a dope 3rd) about receiving this loss? Not only does he snatch the purple bandana out of Charron’s hand when he pulled it out, but apparently later on he’d get back his senses, recognize how nice how nice his opponent was and invite the guy to battle on UW.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “He’s a true Blood…season one owner!”
Recap: 16 Bars Rap Battle League 1-rounder between Ish Mula and Piff stays close with a gang of solid, tough bars from both battlers. But a couple of nifty schemes in the latter half of his round edges this one to Piff.
Verdict: Piff (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Piff – “I’ll run in ya Full House and see how much ya Family Matters!”
Synopsis: Not too much to see here as while JJDD had better lines overall (esp. when he stuck to the name flips and schemes), he shot himself in the foot biting off himself in round 2 and pretty much giving JC the 3rd. Granted, this wasn’t your best JC either, but his overall consistency–sticking with JJDD’s penchant for stealing bars while dropping some dope personals in between–clearly gave him the W.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Best line: JC – “See, you thought we liked it because we was cool with a couple of cats, but the problem with you is we always hear lines back and even ‘Bron know you can’t cover that”
Recap: Besides a few reaches and some filler here and there, an altogether solid (“Man this is Norbez fault, why you tossed in this heat, well a shot will clear ya mind, while you walking the beat!”) turn by Ah di Boom. However, besides a debatable 1st round that was equal on the haymakers, this PG is all Mr. Wavy, consistently styling with a gang of animated bars, slick street talk, witty (“I’m something you nigga’s can’t see…tall Mexican!”) jokes and exquisite (“My lines popping, jaws been [Jordan’s] dropping…no, my lines crazy, like Jordan’s dropping!”) wordplay/punchlines, when this one hits the books it’ll show another win for BK.
Verdict: Mr. Wavy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mr. Wavy – “Bird nigga, I’ll spray y’all mouth, I zone a Cardinal…y’all probably like ‘Why he ain’t say Arizona Cardinal?’, you stupid nigga, ‘cuz I already took the A R out!”
Recap: JC against D Worx turns out to be a pretty one-sided affair as the latter’s multitude of subpar punches and for the most part failed attempts of humor over the course of 3 rounds makes this one a mismatch when compared to JC’s much more rigid punchlines, boastful shiners, fiery wordplay and flexing gun bars.
Verdict: JC (W) 3-0
Favorite line: JC – “So what you thought you was doing something?, lame stop, I aim pop, make your 15 minutes of fame stop and start your last breath on that same clock!”
Synopsis: Pass knows damn well that he didn’t beat no Hollow da Don (hell, his battle against Hollow is probably the main reason he shortened his name) when they battled a few years ago. But against DNA (way too much name flips, half of which just weren’t hitting) here he had enough variety with personals, punchlines and heavy bars galore to score da dub.
Verdict: Pass (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pass- “It’s apparent that you’re a parasite, it’s HIV in your DNA that’s why your first name is Eric, right [Wright]?”
Synopsis: A rare Real Deal slip-up in round 3 and Bigg K not letting his huge first round slip-ups unnerve him to the point of affecting his latter rounds, keeps K in the game (“This is revenge for every kid you ever failed in gym class, every suspension and detention they had to spend with your bitch ass!”) and gives him a victory. Then too, we’ve seen Real Deal come way better than this.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “I love to kill a fat mutherfucker, but hey your diabetes is that type 2”
Recap: In the famous words of Florida Evans: “Damn! Damn! Damn!” Dope battle. As much as JC came hard, hitting with disrespectful (“Besides Ms. Gracie always trying to throw me a fat bitch pussy, she just never told me it was you”) bars and mean (“Any beef, my niggas just roll up, stretch a nigga, it’s like Piublishing Clearing House, we just showed up, checking niggas”) punchlines, Charlie Clips took him to school, breaking down JC’s authenticity (“But you can’t kill a nigga and then pop lock….”), hitting on scheme after scheme, tossing in a couple of nice rebuttals, executing potent bars with superb delivery and dropping haymakers with the ease of waking up in the morning. Clips all day.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “My shit hit niggas and bitches, my pump co-ed!”
Synopsis: Mr. Wavy is not only a problem, but a clown (” But fuck it, I’m feenin’ for ya’ seat, I’m like an Asian on the train”) as well. Really. Granted Kidrock Dollaz gave him some comp. (esp. in a debatable round 2), but other than that this wasn’t really close as Wavy’s consistently superb bars, schemes, jokes and overall performance easily gave him rounds 1 and 3.
Verdict: Mr. Wavy (W) 2-1
Best line: Mr. Wavy – “That’s ya man? Well just know I’m wilding on him, that’s ya man? (‘a hundred grand’), so why the fuck you ain’t throw in the towel for him?”
Recap: Subpar battle, which is not a surprise considering how much Luciano Crakk needs to work on his delivery and wordplay and how much Blackheart Adonis needs to humble himself and wake up to the fact that many of his bars are not as nice as he seems to think they all are. That said, with so many weak (Luciano stumbles while attempting to diss BA for supposedly choking twice in round 2) angles, lame (BA: “Dot his head like a Gandhi”) bars. forced wordplay and nonsensical rhymes, it’s almost like a default calling a win here, but based on performance, jokes, rebuttals and execution, the edge here goes to Blackheart.
Verdict: Luciano Crakk (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Blackheart Adonis – “My .38 spin and kick mid-battle like Dumbfounded”
Synopsis: Very good battle. Both JJDD and The Saurus represented well with a chock full of bars, jokes, personals and nice name flips. But even though John John (whose been talking about taking down legends on Twitter recently) practically gave away the 3rd round, I thought he dropped better consistent lines and subpar schemes in rounds 1 and 2 to edge the win.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1
Best line: JJDD – “Why am I giving you the shot if you the vet?”
Recap: M. Ciddy has never minded going first, attempting to get ahead early with his aggressive wordplay and stay there. Here he does exactly that, using “adversary rhymes” and nice punchlines to shake down Mark Miner and practically never letting up. Miner makes it close with rapid name flips, jokes and gutter (“I’ll slice you across your beer belly and give you a red stripe”) bars. But Ciddy’s 3rd, from reminding attendees of his mark in the game to delivering fiery personals to spitting witty metaphors, edges him a win here.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “You get numbers from nobody, you Mike in The Wood”
Recap: “Go and tell coach you can’t play with me!” Up against some hard bars within a round you thought was never gonna end, GE puts together a benevolent round of rebuttals, “That shit go together” schemes and heavy (“Bring these magazines to the front door, make you the subscriber”) wordplay/punchlines to cop this one-rounder.
Verdict: GE (W) 1-0
Favorite line: GE – “Niggas buy drinks when you rap, ‘cuz you ain’t the one they wanted to hear”
Recap: Considering how long he’s been around you’d think a veteran like PH would know better than to underestimate a quality opponent like M. Ciddy. Or maybe that “If he wins I’ll retire” line at the beginning of this battle was just a joke…yeah, that’s it. Anyway, displaying how a little research can go a long way against an opponent during a battle match, Ciddy breaks down PH’s whole rap/battle career, disrespectfully refers to him by his old moniker and adds rudimentary (“My bars die Namek [dynamic] like Piccolo’s death”) bars on top to show his mettle, much less prove in this battle rap game that he’s not to be played with. PH used some crazy name flips, heavy (“If Jay-Z were to witness my writtens, he’d pop a Molly stop rocking Tom Fords”) bars and personals to edge the 3rd round, but by then it was too late.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “Hell, you 40 on Cam like the Diplomats”
Synopsis: Hey, props to Dece for showing older heads that if you still think you can put in that work, don’t let anybody tell you not to get in that ring. However, no matter how old you are, too much filler combined with average bars and a lack of versatility just won’t make it in today’s rap battle world.
Verdict: Young X (W) 3-0
Synopsis: Young X – “If my granddaddy was alive I bet he’d say, this that same clown he battled in the parking lot when he went to see James Brown”
Recap: With so many artists wanting to try their hand at battle rap these days, it’s funny how this one-round matchup between Mickey Factz and Danja Zone gets slept on. Factz came off a little rusty with a couple of bars here and there that clearly could’ve been tweaked/updated, but for the most part he did pretty well esp. considering how he hadn’t battled in like 7 years (tight stage presence/performance too, but that’s to be expected from any artists used to hitting the stage regularly). And while Danja Zone hit with some nice bars and (“Album called The Achievement but ain’t accomplish shit, what the fuck you handing out, blank discs?”) personals, esp. towards the end, too many stretched out schemes and filler through out his round did him in against Factz’ hard-hitting bars, personals and punches.
Verdict: Mickey Factz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Mickey Factz – “My ‘Paradise’ video?, two million views, yours total? don’t make up that equation, you just bringing my numbers down, fans gonna think we in the Matrix”
Synopsis: KG The Poet might want to think about drinking some water while he spits his bars because his adrenaline is so high, it might be causing his fumbles. That said, if it wasn’t for the 2nd round, where Sno had just enough to make it debatable (along with a couple of light slip-ups by KG), this would’ve been a body–that’s just how dominate KG was in rounds 1 and 3.
Verdict: KG The Poet (W) 2-1
Favorite line: KG The Poet – “That Clint Eastwood .44 blow holes in you like an open gash, it’s like a carat, so if you raising eyes, I’ll put that long nose to his face like a snowman’s supposed to have”
Synopsis: Funny how they still biting Math (“Bars!”), but anyway after an average round one, B-Magic just get ham in round 2 (“Bullets come out St. John like Ron Artest”) and 3 with personals, (“Where Charlie at? Boy I’m slaying your little sister”), punchlines, aggression, performance and bars galore. DNA provided plenty of comp with some nice freestyles and schemes, but wasn’t nearly consistent enough to stand a chance.
Verdict: B-Magic (W) 2-1
Best line: B-Magic – “Reload the clip so many times you think it’s Bufferin”
Synopsis: Despite a couple of slip-ups in two different rounds, Law not only gets this one for dropping more punchlines overall then his opponent, but also because of the huge amount of filler Real Talk was spitting during rounds 1 and 3.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1
Favorite line: “Tell ya’ people I’ll bury at least one or two, I’ll centipede them, they’ll be twenty feet under you”
Synopsis: Roc all day. Ill Will is a dope up-n-comer, aggressive, bars, ability to rebut, do personals and make turn basic lines into memorable bars. But Roc’s a vet at this, with all the ingredients necessary to take on any comer. Plus, he’s been on such a tear lately that anyone could make a legit debate that he deserves Top 5 status. So with two similar styles (and undeniable tension), this made for a dope battle and for the most part it was. After a first round that you could edge to Will for the “banana clip” bar alone, Roc came through with a classic 2nd (“if we argue in the middle of ‘talking’ you get a ‘k'”, “head shots, he won’t remember a round, I’ll Yung Ill Will”) that put an end to any momentum Will built via his first. On the flip side Will clearly got a visit from Earl early in his 2nd (tho partly making up for it with the Lux diss was funny) and his 3rd, while alright, didn’t register much of a buzz (and really dissing Don DeMarco was lame). Meanwhile, Roc stayed consistent and aggressive throughout, which left the crowd hyped–to think Roc’s confidence has reached the point where he could even throw in a Charlie Clips diss. Bars over names indeed.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Best line: Tay Roc – “Niggaz die, I don’t change shit when I’m strapped on ’em, gun bar after gun bar ‘cuz I’m strapped on ’em, when I clap on ’em, it’s a wrap on ’em, since he from Yaktown, I’ll have his town pouring out gats on ’em”
Recap: How Hollow said it vs. Big T?: ‘Cause how you gon’ battle me with a style that I made up?!’ Yeah, in spite of a lackluster 2nd round by QP that helped Cali Smoov edge that round, why Cali (who when his punch & wit game are on point, can compete against almost anyone) thought going into this battle he could get away with a lame Conceited impression and on top of that try to outdo his opponent’s unique, drawn-out, wordplay-heavy style that QP and his SONS crew created is beyond me and probably any other serious battle head who watched this battle. Good thing QP (who despite his immense talent can sometimes seem disinterested in battling) had enough gumption to own his shit, take the 1st and 3rd rounds and get the win here.
Verdict: QP (W) 2-1
Favorite line: QP – “Your performance?, VMA award show, that untimely crisis, ‘cuz your performance is flat but [butt]…you ain’t Miley Cyrus!”
Recap: From MeleeTV, Viixen The Assassin uses a gang of scathing personals, piercing punchlines, boastful barbs and persistent mayhem to take the first couple of rounds for the win over a raucous and punch-heavy at times, but couldn’t put it all together till the 3rd Morawsha.
Verdict: Viixen The Assassin (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Viixen The Assassin – “A thug from Kansas? that shit sound odd, the only bitch from Kansas I know is Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz!”
Recap: Hard to go against Steams again, as he always represents with the passion, delivery and the (“You can’t replace hot bars with…A…C…not even some of the time”) bars. But some of his schemes take too long to hit while not quite meeting his energy. Then too, as is the case here, sometimes his opponent just ups the ante and puts on a better show. But while Brooklyn Carter stayed in beastmode throughout, too many of bars could’ve been used against anybody and if you listen closely, there were definitely some line flips and filler. Bar wise I give it to Carter, but creativity and originality I give it to Steams. You can make a good case for either guy tho.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “If I put that 5 on your back….[burps] I’m not trying to burp you!”
Synopsis: Ah Di Boom steps it up amd straight spazzes in the 3rd round to take what was up to then a close battle against the fierce and up-n-coming Merrick City.
Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ah Di Boom – “Battle rap I’m the muthafuckin’ boss in it, head shot, but the bullet got lost in it”
Recap: “That shit go together!”, unlike Goodz I don’t mind slogans, it’s all a part of building your brand and ain’t nothing wrong with that. That said, bar-wise this one was close, some might run with Logic on authenticity and reality, but even in person you never underestimate the small guy. So based on overall bars, creativity, schemes and performance I got Logic (who surprisingly stayed away from name flips) edging the 1st round and GE edging the latter two.
Verdict: GE (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Logic – “That clip from the lead will snatch that bitch out the bed like the Conjuring”
Recap: Not too far off his disappointing URL appearance, a frenetic and out-of-control Dizaster takes his frustration out on Aye Verb (who pretty much gave Diz the 2nd round) with multisyllabic wordplay, speed raps, s-curl personals and a whole lot of performance bars to gain a dub here.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “My uncles are stock brokers, your uncles are broke stockers”
Recap: “If I’m lying I’m flying”, “And don’t try to be a hero cuz’ in the ghetto that’s a sandwich”, “Rob ya for own whip then park it”….LOL!!! Juno may want to update his bars. This was funny tho.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 1-0
Favorite line: prez mafia – “I’m in ya house party, wild sex, clits poppin and the shit hotter than Bilal’s breath”
Recap: The always competitive, gun-ready (“Sound like I started up a jackhammer when that gauge clappin, one shot leave ya with your head spinning or ya face planted, I let clips flare, so when miles get to popping that B-boy, it ain’t break-dancing!”) Rum Nitty runs into the unique and witty styling’s of (“When squeezing llama’s, bullets eat you like 3 piranha’s, .38 snub, gee I promise, the nose short like Pinocchio being honest!”; “I’m the type to get drunk, start fights at Hooter’s, I will fight every nigger here…like Riley Cooper!”) Young B (RIP) for a punch-terrific and at times hilarious matchup that’s only differentiated point-wise by Young B’s elongated rounds 2 and 3, leaving a just as hype, but more condensed Nitty with the ability to edge each of the latter two rounds for the win.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Don’t gas him up, you’ll get the chokehold for sleep, and that’s just for acting up, you a bitch, a homo, a geek, I’ll let it click and drop a whole row of sweet nigger’s like Candy Crush!”
Recap: Good battle. Like Cash said “two hood niggas with bars” and they both brought the heat, making for a competitive battle throughout. I got Cash edging the first two rounds tho, stepping up on the wordplay, but also adding a more lucid performance, some nice name flips, jokes and even some hometown personals (“Indiana ain’t been shit since Reggie retired”) that got one chick in the crowd extra tight.
Verdict: Cash Eatin (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Gram$ – “Clutch and pull with extended fire, clip drawn from the biggest iron, man that bitch long like Brittney Griner”
Recap: Sluggish battle between Big T and O-Red had the crowd and ring card girls flustered and rightfully so, what with O-Red spitting random bars at other battle rappers and using the same cookie props for jokes here that he used before against Big Kannon. While Big T lifted plenty of what was left of his sound schemes against K-Shine and relied on way too many name flips throughout the battle. Ironically, with most of the action taking place in the 1st (the edge there going to O-Red for dropping more hitting bars within his time frame than Big T) and 3rd (clearly a win for Big T) rounds, turns out that the most lethargic round, the 2nd, would be the difference-maker. And with Big T practically giving it up with some just ok bars within an abbreviated round, Red easily took it with his more potent punchlines.
Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1
Favorite line: O-Red – “You the cheapest drink in McDonald’s, that means you Sweet T [tea]”
Recap: 100 Bulletz takes advantage of a seemingly uninspired JC, whose shortened rounds weren’t helped by plenty of lackluster punchlines during his rounds. That’s not to take anything anyway from Bulletz, who despite a few predictable finisher’s here and there, especially within a superb 2nd round, overall made potent use of his punches, stinging (“I bet they still bring you crayons at Applebee’s!”) personals and wordplay to pull off the 30.
Verdict: 100 Bulletz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: 100 Bulletz – “I said little man bars are something you gotta deal with, so no matter how far you go to battle, it’s still technically a field trip!”
Recap: MC War 2-round battle over beats between Math Hoffa (“About to see I get Shine boxed like little Tommy in Goodfellas!”) and K-Shine is a goodie as both emcees go in, lacing a piercing beat with boastful barbs, spicy punchlines and rugged personals. Always intriguing to see a battle rapper rhyme over a beat, with an equal amount of consistency with the bars, cadence with the beat and rich content, we give both rounds a draw, making the battle itself a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: K-Shine – “It’s like a nigga saying goodbye, when that Larkin clap, as soon as a nigga peace [piece] out, it go in Hoffa back!”
Recap: Definitely not Cortez at his best, but enough adequate wordplay and hitting name flips versus way too many basic bars, a weak/nonsensical (“Que” = ‘K’?!?) Spanish scheme and bad sportsmanship from Tycoon Tax handed this one to Tez easy.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “You’ve been privileged…all your life, that’s a Luxury Tax”
Recap: How lethal is this one round bodybag? You could turn off the sound and peep the reactions from the crowd alone just to tell who won. Still, Chess’ incredible wordplay, backward alphabet scheme and fierce name flips against a clearly over-matched Rock Boy Rone are worth a looksie.
Verdict: Chess –
Favorite line: Chess – “I’ll put two on the side of your top like a square root!”
Recap: Neither Danja Zone or Spee Dolla impress much in this Block City matchup. But thanks to more variety as well as some ill (“How the fuck are you supposed to control streets, when it’s probably hard for you stand on your own feet?”) personals from Spee along with Danja’s mostly elongated schemes and righteous filler in rounds 1 and 2, it’s Spee who manages to hang on for the win.
Verdict: Spee Dolla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Spee Dolla – “We only aim for the head when we drive up, and leave one side hanging like a bobcut!”
Recap: Another emcee in a long line of battle rappers who’ve taken advantage of O’fficial’s large chest size to pounce on her with some dicey personals, Lexx Banko also uses a pretty solid barfest of raucous heat, persistent mayhem and boastful barbs to keep things competitive in this 3-rounder from QOTR. But the New Orleans rapper, flexing throughout the bout with a gang of stinging wordplay, piercing punchlines, hard-hitting personals and dope 4-bar setups does enough damage to take the first two rounds (a spicier Banko took the 3rd) for the win.
Verdict: O’fficial (W) 2-1
Favorite line: O’fficial – “Holding your girlfriend is the only time you squeezing ratchets!”
Recap: Another good battle from the Proving Grounds featuring Ha Double and Anubis in a total barfest with schemes and wordplay galore on both sides. Tho he seemed to run out of steam towards the end, overall Ha Double displayed more consistency (esp. in round 2 which he clearly won) to take it in the end.
Verdict: Ha Double (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Anubis – “Silencer, got that 9 quiet but the tech will scream, I missed the first shot fuck it I got LeBron heat, take off his headband with the second ring”
Synopsis: K-Kendle had some bars and only stumbled briefly so give him props for showing up. But against a confident vet like Cortez, you need more than the occasional bar to even stand a chance. In other words, what with bars for days, schemes, crowd pleasers, personals and a top tier performance that matches his experience, this was an easy one for the kid from Brooklyn.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Best line: Cortez – “I’ma ask y’all what blocks is he running?, which street set you step with?, you don’t never get around your block, you a set pick”
Recap: In this main event, one-rounder from We Go Hard, Presidential Dubz raps almost twice as long as his opponent and despite the beginning wardrobe change and (“I turn up, shit get fucked up…I’m George Bush!”) history lesson, wasn’t really on his A-game. Still, Dubz had more than enough spitfire heat and back-to-back punches to beat what was a pretty pedestrian turn by Foreplae.
Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “Fighting? I’m too consistent, I promise my hand will give your shit a ring like new commitment!”
Recap: A little flat on delivery at times, overmatched on size and having to deal with nonsense like Ms. Hustle turning her back on her as well as Phara Funeralz attempting to steal the show, Jaz the Rapper still does this, taking on Ms. Hustle for mystical title of “Queen of URL” and winning with intelligent schemes, witty (“We was cool, I got hot, so we ain’t no more”) punchlines and hot bars. Granted, Ms. Hustle had her moments (“You dance around the punch, that’s prom night”), but after a sizzling first round it soon became clear that Hustle wouldn’t be able to keep up with Jaz’s truth serum and repeated (“When you think of Jaz you think of music, the team, even Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, when you think of Eboni you think of Pornhub, black bitches getting fucked in they ass”) haymakers (tho flipping that “With the Beats” scheme Ms. Fit used on her during their battle was funny to watch here).
Verdict: Jaz the Rapper (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jaz the Rapper – “You not Ms. Hustle, you Ms. Struggle!”
Recap: Fire 3rd round here from Remedy Loco, but other than that a couple of lazy rounds by the Brooklyn spitter and a flashy gun bar-flexing and boastful punchline-slinging Eazy The Block Captain does more than enough in the opening rounds to get the win in this 3-rounder from Philly Coalition Battle Grounds.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Your bitch look like Unkasa…and I ain’t gonna lie, I hit it so everytime I go to Brooklyn I dodge her!”
Synopsis: As expected, a really good battle between two fierce competitors who both happen to be from PA. But after splitting the first two rounds, Rone clearly took the 3rd with over-the-top bars and personals, while Real Deal took half the round off to address his issues with Smack/URL (yes, he does deserve another shot on the URL stage, esp. after his sublime win over B-Magic, but that would’ve been better suited for a blog, not a battle).
Verdict: Rone (W) 2-1
Best line: Rone – “You’re not racist to the point that you’d start a Klan army, but you’d buy your daughter a dildo before you’d buy her a black barbie”
Recap: From QOTR, Bonnie Godiva makes for a pretty solid, punch-lit, gritty and personal-savvy effort here in this 3-rounder. But one too many light moments from Ms. Godiva (as well as choosing to not go harder when it came to personals) to go along with a 40 B.A.R.R.S. on her spicy and multifaceted A-game when it came to brunt lyricism, rigid name flips, fiery schemes, dope wordplay, well-aimed personals and fire schemes/punches (esp. during a spitfire 2nd round), gives the Boston battler a clear 30.
Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 3-0
Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “When your fans say dumb shit, I feel like harming them, yeah we sound similar, but we different bro, we homonyms!”
Recap: The final score here doesn’t reflect what was essentially a one-sided affair as Eazy The Block Captain’s gang of gritty punchlines and boastful barbs easily beat back an aggressive, but mostly pedestrian-punching and opponent’s beard obsessed Wu, who only took a round here due to a choke from Eazy in the 2nd.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Flow dope, take you on this ride like a theme park!”
Recap: Detroit’s Piranha (I have no idea what was up with all the nose scratching, but it sure was distracting) had some occasional hot bars, but it wasn’t nearly enough to keep up with Illanoiz’s wicked punchlines, schemes and name allegories in this PG battle from URL.
Verdict: Illanoiz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Illanoiz – “Act bananas and get your apple cracked, ‘cuz some niggas don’t learn till you put one under their cap, that’s a Snapple fact”
Recap: Grimy antics aside (this battle is noted for Daylyt putting his hands down his pants, scratching his balls and putting his finger in Loe Pesci’s face. amongst other tomfoolery that Daylyt deemed necessary because Pesci was allegedly acting racist to him online before the battle), wordplay wise (“He say he slangs drugs?, you wouldn’t see him holding a big rock if he was a cave thug”) Daylyt does just enough in rounds 1 and 3 to edge each one and get the win over an opponent whose better lines clearly got gassed by the biased crowd.
Verdict: Daylyt (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Daylyt – “I’m just a head [ahead] with the flow, that’s a DDT”
Recap: In full blast mode following a really nice (“It’s a brick in every house on my block, that’s a chicken strip”) round by St. Louis spitter Dubby Dub, T Top literally goes in with what he knows best: gritty street talk and unfettered (“You smokin’, you don’t know ’bout cooking weight by the ounce, walk in the crib, smell like you painting a house!”) drug game in addition to a couple of (“I might have you battling Chilla, that mean I scheme for a while just to cap him with filler”) haymakers to take this fiery one-rounder brought to you by Spit Dat Heat.
Verdict: T Top (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T Top – “I’mma crack cutter, I be trying to get shake right, like a frat brother”
Recap: Definitely not a classic, but still a pretty solid, bar/scheme-fest here between Chayna Ashley and Gattas in the QOTR ring. The ever-aggressive Gattas, loaded with barrels of humor, some stinging personals and loads of lyrical stunting, made her presence felt and kept things competitive throughout the bout. Ms. Ashley, strutting hard like a grown ass woman throughout the battle, without a care in the world for the usual parade of personals used against her while spouting a gang of fierce schemes, wily boasts/personals, hardbody punchlines and even slipping in a bit of wit with a 3rd round wig prop, came ready from jump. However, with Chayna coming versatile with the heat while humble enough to address what many might say is her lone fault (choking) and putting together in an exquisite 2nd round, after a debatable 1st and assisted by a steady barking, but less substantive Gattas, a more consistently stealth and punch-heavy Ashley takes the latter two rounds for the win.
Verdict: Chayna Ashley (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chayna Ashley -“Yeah, this shit gonna get ugly, I’m talking O-Red on the wake up, Big T when he hungry, Arsonal without a shape-up!”
Recap: Well prepared with a barrage of heavy punches/personals and a surrounding theme on his opponent’s performance-centric raps being a little too extra at times, S-Kapone manages to edge a couple of early elongated rounds by Brizz Rawsteen, whose mostly animated raps weren’t always matched in potency by his bars.
Verdict: S-Kapone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: S-Kapone – “Nigga, I been round, liek in a treehouse with no ladder, you don’t know how I [I’ll] get down!”
Synopsis: Clips (FYI: Nova Scotis is not a “city” but a province) gets his race card on and throws in a mix of fervent schemes with spirited jokes to beat an able, but long-winded and way-too-much-filler having Hollohan.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Best line: Charlie Clips – “I’ll knock the juice out your fucking lemon, put the metal on the lid of ya hype man, the silencer make it go [makes sound], you don’t know if I’m shooting or trying to open a Sprite can”
Recap: As T-Rex succinctly put it at the beginning of his round 2: “They said the person that wins this battle is the person that’s gonna have the street crowd”. Gun bars, street cred, hustling semantics, Harlem vs. Detroit and some pointed personals were the themes of this battle between Rex and Calicoe, who returned to the URL stage for the first time since his epic loss to Loaded Lux the previous year. For the first couple of rounds, both battlers came with the energy and lived up their rep. A confident Rex shined with some wicked punchlines, heated firearm (“When that mac spraying, you know it’s gonna hit back hand and I’m shooting on the ground in case he act dead!”) gusto and nice performance bars. Despite a somewhat hostile crowd Calicoe (who deserves a knock for talking too much through Rex’s rounds) matched Rex with a couple of ill, versatile rounds, styling on Rex with some formidable (“Dot Mobb, a bunch of bitches, Moulin Rouge!”) personals, amiable wordplay and witty street (“You make death threats? he the type of nigga I give my address out to, like slide through!”) bars. So intense, entertaining and competitive were the first two rounds that you were bound for a letdown in round 3 and unfortunately that was the case. Still, while Rex kept his round short, he was still able to pack in enough hitting (“The drama I’m with it, show up to his funeral in the same clothes I had on when I did it!”) punches and personals to easily take the round (and the win) over Calicoe’s mostly lukewarm bars and righteous filler.
Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T-Rex – “I treat my block like a newborn ass, I’m putting powder on it!”
