Recap: A more versatile (and condensed) DNA, stunting throughout with ill freestyles (including a really fierce dart at none other than Kevin Durant while the NBA star stood on stage), rapidly fire punchlines, fly name flips, some stinging personals and festive gun bars manages to beat back a scheme-heavy, but elongated Chilla Jones in this 3-rounder from NOME 3. Jones, clearly committed to spouting scheme after scheme throughout this match, definitely had his moments, especially during a spitfire 2nd round that saw his wordplay and consistency elevate to its highest level. But thanks in part to a mostly one-themed showing as well as some long drawn-out dry spots in both the 1st and 3rd rounds, just couldn’t keep up with his opponent’s quotient for haymakers, much less DNA’s roundhouse scoring ability.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Serius, Arsonal, Darrel Jones, I guess I gotta show up to Chilla with some real chrome, so when you hear it click, no, that’s not a dial tone, so when I raise the stock, who you gonna dial [Dow] Jones?!”
Recap: Even a dope introduction by Nuff Said doesn’t stand a chance against Nuborn at his best, delivering rapid (“Every bar I drop is official, this guy’s a disgrace, it’s ironic you still fat when your career is jogging in place” ) and hard-hitting punchlines/personals with nary a sweat and getting another win on the road.
Verdict: Nuborn (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Nuborn – “Sawed-off shotty on waist, stock on the face, I’ll rob him then pop around him like a father’s embrace”
Recap: Facing off against a European rapper in Ilyak who when not heaving a bunch of dry wit and mostly pedestrian punches within his raps, seemed just as bent on dissing his challenger’s home league (KOTD) as he did his opponent, Charron gains the upper hand in this battle with a rousing mix of boastful shiners, deft name flips, steadfast punches and well-honed personals to take each round while pitching a shutout.
Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charron – “You’re such a fag your sex life is a pain in the ass!”
Synopsis: Considering it was a tie after 2, shame on Daylyt for admitting that he didn’t write a 3rd round for KG The Poet, thus pretty much handing him the win despite his on-the-spot bars.
Verdict: KG The Poet (W) 2-1
Favorite line: KG The Poet – “Once you showed the moon, we knew Daylyt [daylight] was finished”
Recap: Some witty/fiery (“Man, this manslaughter is awesome, he’ll get slapped from both sides like Macaulay Culkin!”) punches by P.T. keeps him around in this 3-rounder versus the ever-capable Brizz Rawsteen on the Pit Fights Battle League stage. But an elongated 2nd from P.T. along with too many nursery school raps, gives a more punch-heavy and consistent Rawsteen the first couple of rounds before P.T. manages to edge the 3rd.
Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “The type of knife I got will treat your bitch pussy like a pizza and put slices in a box!”
Recap: That ‘True religion’ bar by Mackk Myron here was extra fire. But after him and JC split (got the punch-heavier Mackk taking the 1st, while a grittier and more consistent JC took the 2nd) the first couple of rounds, in light of a spicy and personal-bent final round by Mackk, a couple of dope rebuttals by JC in an otherwise solid final turn gives Mr. Carter the win.
Synopsis: Brizz Rawsteen pulls out a bag of crazy name flips, punchlines, aggressive (“But dog when will the shit stop, I palm let the fifth pop, pause till the click drop, reload then give Auto more like a wristwatch”) bars and solid wordplay to take out Automatic Ray.
Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Automatic Ray – “But pride’s a pill, swallow that and quit whining dog, cuz’ my NyQuil [Nike will] will put a head through the Tylenol [tile and all]”
Recap: When he wasn’t talking during opponent Eazy The Block Captain round’s, Johnny Mel spouts a solid freestyle game, with enough dicey personals and witty off-the-dome theatrics to edge round 2 in this 3-rounder from TIP Battles. But a versatile and gritty punching Eazy, tho a bit uneven with the bars, still manages to unleash enough haymakers in rounds 1 and 3 to get the win.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “It look like your girl got no walls, but you can’t fill it, your dick little with no balls!”
Recap: Scientific won on (“Shake your head ummm, when I ask ‘Gimme dough’, that’s gonna get bitch-ass clapped, that’s a twerk video!”) haymakers, but that’s only due to rapping twice as long as his opponent, Tone Montana. That aside, despite plenty of standard bars on both sides, way too much filler and lame bars by Scientific along with Tone’s more consistent and animated punches, ends up costing him this one.
Verdict: Tone Montana (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Tone Montana – “Going against me is like a man in a mask at the police station staring through the glass!”
Recap: Good performance by Dirt, but a nonsensical angle (guns bars are way down on the list as far as what M. Ciddy is known for) combined with Ciddy’s repeated (“I’m getting Dirt on track, Motorcross”) punchlines, name (“Run through Dirt like African feet”) flips, wordplay and witty personals didn’t give him much of a chance here..
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 3-0
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “He so old I asked for his mixtape and he played a cassette”
Recap: An otherwise solid and consistent round by Profecy is only hurt by too many name flips and a very unnecessary chickenhead dance. Still, it’s enough here to edge Dirt, who despite hitting with some elongated punches here and there, didn’t come off as versatile and performance-heavy as his opponent, while also spouting too many dry spots.
Verdict: Profecy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Profecy -“I’m a out bar you, I can still win with a bad performance, I’m only here to get my views up, if you assist me, well hell, somebody had to pass to Jordan!”
Recap: It’s not unusual in lower league battles for the crowd to gas up the hometown fave and egg him on in the hopes of getting a win. But in this case, support or no support, Deal Tha Monsta edges Lotta Zay (and pulls off a minor upset) with hitting (“This man a queen, won’t let that hammer seen, he’d rather sing a song”) personals, authentic wordplay, aggression, more haymakers, a nice Lakers scheme and better overall delivery.
Verdict: Deal Tha Monsta (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Deal Tha Monsta – “You got more battles than Genghis Khan in ancient times”
Recap: As challenging of a performance that Tsu Surf put on here, overall, Hollow da Don used experience and plenty of variety to do did him one better. But then that’s you’d expect from Hollow, nevermind the long absence, in this battle Hollow not only proved that he still has it, but that he belongs in anyone’s Top 5. More importantly, Hollow easily proved that he deserved a shot against Loaded Lux at the next Summer Madness. Sure, the first round was fire on both sides, with Hollow making a statement and spitting some ill bars (surrounded by some aggressive filler and weird moments like the ‘making it rain here’ show and literally sniffing on his opponent to make a joke), but the edge here goes to Surf what with an ill freestyle to start things off coupled some mean (“Your mom probably was a whore and your daddy didn’t love her, kids by a another nigga, so your brother probably wasn’t your brother, walk up in her room dumping, shooting straight for the cover, [makes like he’s fucking] I felt just as bad as your father…putting a hollow in your mother!”; “A thirsty nigga in the club, I’m trying to hit everything standing, it got a kickback when it shoot, so when it aim you gotta slant it, want your life?, crawl for it, trying to see the gates and access granted, on the block with something Deandre size, one way to explain that night?…Brandon!“) schemes, personals and punches that all landed hard. Still, Hollow’s 2nd and 3rd round clearly gave him the win here. In the 2nd da Don stepped it up and just bodied an (“He ain’t about that Gunplay, so why lay [Wale] hands on him?”) alright, but mostly underwhelming turn by Surf with feening (“Damn, you was locked like Pac, but Surf wasn’t there to bail you out?!”) personals, ill (“I said anytime, it’s an open invitation, you could come to a nigga’s hood, my address is 19 22 I Wish A Nigga Would!”) set-ups, crazy name flips and standard jokes. While in the 3rd, it was just more (“Every day I’m in the hood, tapped up with the cop, KD/Dwayne Wade…I wake up to the block!”) haymakers from Hollow, complete with battle rap 101 bars and stinging punchlines/personals that easily beat another solid, but not-nearly-as-nice round from Surf.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “But since his man gave him the charge he’s been on the low, dodging imprisonment, hoping it gets better playing Chris Webber trying to forget about that timeout in Michigan!
Recap: Not counting rebuttals and freestyles, we all know that battles are pre-written. Still, sometimes a battle can give you a feel of rolling with momentum such as the case where a dude starts off timid or mediocre and then with each passing round gets better and better with his raps, as if something in him clicked on. That’s the situation here as a solid-punching, brazen and extra witty with the personals Jimz takes advantage of a punch and scheme-tossing, but listless Xcel in the opening round, before holding on to edge the 2nd round despite his opponent closing the gap on bar efficiency. Indeed, in the final round, Xcel would finally put it all together and deliver a lyrically sharp and way more intricate turn that’d easily beat back a subpar run by Jimz. Unfortunately, by then it was too late.
Verdict: Jimz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jimz – “Xcel is straight dusty, bean full of grease and fleas, and y’all can’t tell me don’t look like he sell insense, mix tapes and DVD’s!”
Recap: Who knew that there was a popping battle rap scene in Utah, of all places? Either way, with some requisite Mormon jokes, fiery punchlines and witty barbs throughout his 1st and 2nd rounds, the only thing that prevents Profecy from getting an easy 30 over his very average opponent Mikey B is a way too short 3rd.
Verdict: Profecy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Profecy – “You won’t be relevant when you’re 46, if you have a daughter that was 5, I’ll be a legend before she’s 6!”
Recap: Prez mafia impresses here, taking a battle last minute and putting on such a quality show that you’d have no idea he had little time to prepare his bars. Big Jimya, while able to keep things interesting via a mix of some nice gritty bars with a splash of humor along with freestyling in round 3 without choking, still had no chance against an opponent who’s clearly on another level when it comes to bars, performance and wordplay.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 3-0
Favorite line: prez mafia – “You about to lose to a kid, just know how this kid’s real, big deal, that box come with handle, that’s kids meal”
Recap: Despite some dated bars throughout, Mias Lanskey dishes enough haymakers along with spirited, aggressive shiners to take the first two rounds and the win versus an inconsistent Gwitty.
Verdict: Mias Lanskey (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mias Lanskey – “It don’t matter where we at, I’ll always be me, You’ll get dropped in Long Island like I’m spiking the Tea!”
Recap: Is there a battle rapper who loves what he does more than Danny Myers? Probably not. And if Danny’s eccentric similes and aggressive, old-school stylings bother you, you’re certainly welcome to beat him in the ring, something, simply put, in this 3-roudner from AHAT, Shi Dog couldn’t do. As for all of Shi’s talk surrounding Danny’s alleged lack of lyricism, the best the Dog could do was a couple of shiners here and there to go along a pretty solid 3rd that would ironically get beat back by Danny’s best round of the battle. Yikes, indeed.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Why the fuck would I go in his pockets?, you could miss me with that hard act, you could keep your 7 dollars, your buss pass and your Carmax!”
Recap: Capped by a stellar string of rebuttals to start off his 3rd round, Charron flings together a boatload of mocking personals, frenzied boasts dripped in robust schemes, spitfire flips, witty barbs and piercing punchlines to beat back the raucous imagery and flippant raps of Unanymous in this 3-rounder from Don’t Flop.
Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charron – “Chalk him out when I’m starting a lesson, you’re writing the same line over and over like Bart in detention!”
Synopsis: Young X is a different breed of rapper, from his southern swag to his keen wordplay to his passive-aggressive bars, as seen here, this kid is a problem.
Verdict: Young X (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Young X – “You ain’t know? I got flow [Flo] like the bitch from Progressive”
Recap: In a battle with 7 million-plus views (yet another testament to how popping battle rap is in the Philippines), outside of a debatable 3rd round, Charron’s witty personals and fiery punchlines are enough in the first two rounds to edge the bilingual and hilarious styling’s of Zaito and earn another win overseas. That said, credit to Fliptop for providing a translation to its English-speaking viewers.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “Your memory’s so bad you could throw your own surprise party!”
Synopsis: Daylyt’s battle rap career is starting to remind me of QP’s (Qleen Paper). Great start, unique presence and exquisite bars, but too many battles in a short amount of time and the huge buzz just slowly died. I mean just from watching Daylyt’s homemade video’s you could tell how funny he is, but now his battles have become too much (esp. here) clownery over bars. In other words the same guy who showed up and went toe-to-toe against Rich Dollarz, Philly Swain and Spee Dolla has been replaced by a guy who just wants to be weird and make you laugh. Anyway, Math got this….tho I wouldn’t be surprised if his next opponent mentions how Daylyt punked him with that push.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-0
Best line: Math Hoffa – “I stopped fighting over colors back in kindergarten”
Recap: Not much in the way of competition here as Ave. uses some cold punches, filthy schemes and steely braggadocio bars to easily beat an up-n-down, mostly average D. Flamez.
Verdict: Ave. (W) 3-0 Favorite line: Ave. – “You see, he fooling y’all, but let him try me, I’m a bomb twice, that’s gonna put a couple in his frame like a prom night!”
Recap: GO-Rilla Warfare/URLTV matchup between Pooh and JC sees the former put on a competitive showing with a host of fiery schemes, flashes of wit and hitting punchlines/personals. However, a little too much on pedestrian side in the early rounds from Pooh and a more consistent JC, scoring mightily throughout with fierce gun bars, stinging name flips and aggressive schemes/personals gets the Pontiac, MI kid another win.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Bitch, I wave arms like decent neighbors!”
Recap: Spouting a gang of fiery schemes, visceral heaters and some solid wordplay, after a debatable 1st round, D Gunna takes advantage of a mostly lackluster Danny Myers and edges the latter two rounds for the win in this 3-rounder from Doep16.
Verdict: D Gunna (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D Gunna – “Nigga’s say they gonna give D one…they better wait for college!”
Recap: Ummm….besides Boogie Flamez possibly taking battle rap a little too literally what with all his bad sportsmanship and being unintentionally (“My block is like white people Kool-Aid, it ain’t sweet nigga!”) funny at times, overall his real street bars while sounding authentic, lack intricacy, thus giving way to the animated bars of Mr. Wavy, who besides his usual glowing performance etiquette throughout, gets busy here with a slew of rigid (“Your ratchets ain’t got no bodies, like a stick figure!”) punchlines and fly-guy darts/personals to score an easy 3-0.
Verdict: Mr. Wavy (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Mr. Wavy – “I ain’t gonna fuck Boogie bitch, that’s wild low…but just know, I walk away with that head, I’m Al Snow!”
Synopsis: How lucky was O-Red to pull this one out? I mean, not only did he almost lose his voice, but he had to put up with arguably one of the best 3rd rounds ever, from a spirited (“And he tried to break down the Chicago teams, and this is where I’m gonna light his ass up, because I am Rip Hamilton, you know I’m the shooter as soon as I mask up!”) Big Kannon flexing hard in front of his home crowd. Too bad for BK, Red had just enough haymakers (“The left will hit him twice and I punch smooth with the stiffest right, I’ll stomp him for 30 seconds to end the fight, so when you see BK on the side of my sneakers, they ain’t British Knights!”), punchlines, personals and traditionalist bars to edge rounds 1 and 2, thus taking the belt (and the cookie) back home to Jersey.
Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1
Best line: O-Red – “You make Chicago look bad, you a Yung Berg nigga!”
Recap: In this unlimited one-rounder from The Tank, it’s a tale of opposites as Presidential Dubz, after a strong start, gets weaker with his turn, while Interstate Flames, after a rather mundane start, gets stronger and stronger with his. So overall, while both battlers brought their equal share of heat, a mid-round Dubz slip-up ends up making the difference.
Verdict: Interstate Flamez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Interstate Flamez – “He Spanish, so you know he work at the corner store!”
Recap: One-round rematch between T-Rex and Math is edged by Rex thanks to a couple of (“You had the ghost of B.I.G. in one of your joints like you raw like that, you seen B.I.G. last whip?, my niggas will do your car like that”) haymakers, thus earning a win for Rex who wisely also dropped the fast-rapping that plagued him in the 1st battle and delivery/bar-wise put forth a more consistent and versatile performance. Math had some dope (“After you battled O-Red we had to book you through a weegie board!”) bars here and there and was energetic throughout, but faltered a bit towards the end of his round and relied too much on the same formula he used in the first Rex battle. Still a good show nonetheless with two top tier battlers giving you a rare rematch and as a bonus it even included some scene-stealing appearances by K-Shine and Bonnie Godiva.
Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T-Rex- “Niggas be starting to die if I actually get upset, cuz a nigga play the dick until there’s a magnum’s on his head”
Recap: It’s well-known that battle rap is really popular around certain parts of the world and that includes the Philippines where rooms to see two emcees out-rap each other are often filled to capacity. That said, it’s fitting to see one of Canada’s finest, Charron, go overseas to battle Filipino battling vet Skarm for 3 rounds on the FlipTop stage and do his thing, beating back a solid trio of turns from his multi-flowing, but topsy-turvy opponent with an aggressive mix of syrupy personals, boastful darts, some lofty wordplay and a boatload of banging punchlines/rebuttals and score a 30.
Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charron – “Y’all observe, I’ll make him watch his words like karaoke machines!”
Synopsis: Seems like Cocky only took this battle to get some shit off his chest concerning Fox…and that he did. Meanwhile, The Deadman, while funny (“Nigga you wouldn’t be top tier (tear) if you were the first tat on Lil Waynes face”) throughout didn’t quite do enough to warrant a win over Cocky’s potent punchlines. Give it a tie tho based on Cocky’s second round choke.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Cocky – “Keep it real Deadman you don’t want no problems tonight, cuz I’ll pull it out and have all the fans leaving like it’s the bottom of the 9th”
Synopsis: Contrary to Bigg K’s earlier exclamation Shotgun Suge definitely came with bars, but too many stumbles didn’t give him a chance against an up-n-coming phenom like Bigg K who took this with relative ease.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 3-0
Best line: Bigg K – “I seen him tap Bill Collector’s pockets I said damn he vicious, come to find out he only tapped his pockets because he thought there was candy in it, let him try that shit with a gangster, a true to life lawbreaker, I got some candy in my pockets Suge…and it’s a jawbreaker”
Recap: Toss out Tay Roc getting the face wrong (it’s Grant, not Jefferson) on the 50-dollar bill because he would’ve lost that round anyway here B-Magic, who after a pretty light first round, upped the ante and used some nice personals, punchlines and hard (“Trip dog and I’ll stage a shooting like Rick Ross”) bars to split this match after two. With Tay easily taking the first (“Man for real, who the fuck is B stopping?, you got 3-0’ed like two battles ago but now B popping?, let me catch B plotting, I’m griping the waist, I’ll pistol whip [smush] push in his face like B. Hopkins”), this one came down to the 3rd which saw Magic snapping away with frequent punchlines and name (“For trying to Jack Black, I’ll teach you how to school a Roc”) flips, yet Roc did him one better with a steady diet of effective punches, wordplay (“I don’t play, this mac ain’t Beanie Sigel, once I rock him y’all won’t see him again, I’ll Memphis Bleek you”) and elite gun bars to take it at the finish line.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “If he see me on his block when he roll around, the chopper Conceited size, I wish he would slow it down”
Recap: Ms. Fit got jokes (“The last time you seen a hammer bang….was Judge Brown”), delivery and stage presence, but what was missing here enough hard-hitting bars as well as wordplay. Plus too and her rounds were interrupted by too many long pauses. On the other hand Ms. Hustle stayed strong and consistent throughout, spitting loads of hot (“My dogs hungry turn them nigga’s into child’s food, tell ya bitch ‘fuck her’ she could try to wild too, that’ll get your chicken chopped in the street like halal food”) bars, personals, fresh angels (not spitting a single bar about Cortez, which most opponents do against Ms. Fit was impressive) along with a nice performance to take this one.
Verdict: Ms. Hustle (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ms. Hustle – “We all know you got ADD bitch, you don’t keep steel [still]”
Recap: Yunno, even if his atypical rhyme patterns and so-called ‘over the head’ bars are sometimes overblown or dismissed due to his oft-want for silly antics, the bottom line here in this one-rounder from BeatKnoxxx Rehash is that Daylyt did show up and tho he could be a little off-putting (talking on a phone during a battle…really?!?) at times, so did Calicoe. Still, aggressively addressing personal battle rap issues, talking that street (“I got a clip full, I’m trying to free every bullet like they mason’s, I’ll let a couple fly like honeymoon, vacation!”) shit that he’s known for and dishing fiery bully/gun bars with Grade-A bluster, Calicoe ends up taking this one.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Daylyt – “I look at you dead in your eyes like Who you?!…my guns will peel, bury [Pillsbury] these dope boys [doughboys] Woohoo!“
Recap: Way too many basic punches along with haphazard angles that left you puzzled, until a fiery and personal-lit (but elongated) final round, Crome does little to nothing to stand a chance against Dizaster’s raucous multi-syllables/schemes, neck-deep personals and witty punchlines over the course of 3 rounds. Indeed, when Crome finally did come alive in the 3rd, any chance of him salvaging a round was ruined by him dishing too much filler between the bars that actually hit, thus making the round a debatable.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’m back with the killer flow, I react you hit some crap, I’ll hit you back your minutes low!”
Recap: When you have a sex tape out and you also happen to be a battle rapper, you gotta know what’s coming when you compete. And Bonnie Godiva didn’t disappoint, using her 1st appearance on the KOTD stage to beat former porn star/gritty puncher Germ Free with a gang of salacious personals, piercing name flips, stinging wordplay and witty barbs, thus taking each round of this 3-rounder.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Me vs. you?, wrong move, you thinking you won’t lose?, you’ll get beat till you get laid down…that’s Pro Tools!”
Recap: When he wasn’t dishing a plethora of filler and self-serving bars at spectators, speed rapper/lyricist WonDon uses a variety of nice (“You look like you eat ass on the down low, giving new meaning to the phrase brown nose!”) punches/name flips that landed hard as well as a couple of out-of-nowhere haymakers to beat a (“I make pussies bleed, you should keep a tampon witcha, you done hopped in this water, so when that landslide hit ya, you’ll be close to diving boards like Antoine Fisher!”) Nu Jerzey Twork whose round 3 choke served as the epitome of an off day.
Verdict: WonDon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: WonDon – “You know what hurts me?, the fact that I’ll be remembered for assassinating the captain of a twerk [Twork] team!”
Synopsis: Albeit an entertaining battle throughout, Charlie Clips gets this one easy with some game rebuttals, crowd-friendly quips, sublime schemes, fiery impersonations and enough fire personals to make Tony D want to reconsider his battle rap career.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Best line: Charlie Clips – “Put this dick in ya girl lip, I’m like what she saying?, hands back and forth on her ass, look like I’m DJing”
Recap: Yeah, Rum Nitty (“Food for thought, that tool will pop, you’ll see noodles fly!”) ‘was doing so good’. But a slip-up in round one from the Phoenix battler and a surprising choke in round 3, allows a solid and more consistent throughout Konshis Pilot to barely edge the first round before handily taking the deciding 3rd.
Verdict: Konshis Pilot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Konshis Pilot – “I’m about to muffle his muzzle with the same barrel that pillow block, like let me tell you a secret, it ain’t gonna be no sweet shit when that pillow talk!”
Recap: Plenty of mayhem and storytelling, but not too many haymakers in this one-round battle between Took and D Money on the We Go Hard stage. Still, with a load of reaches, predictable name flips and a plethora of dry spots from his opponent, a more consistent with the heat and hard-pressed D Money gets the edge.
Verdict: D Money (W) 1-0
Favorite line: D Money – “Bed-Stuy nigga, I’m likely to have that Ruger on me now, shooters with aim so good…blindfolded they could pick Waldo out a crowd!”
Recap: Credit to Lil Dave for putting on a good show, bringing his A game and staying competitive with a URL slinger in Big Kannon. Yet, for all of Dave efforts, from his hilarious jokes to to his keen wordplay (“You? you just extra fat, I help you lose some extra weight, put you in that circle on that scope, that’s how you get in shape”), it still wasn’t enough to beat BK’s stinging rebuttals (“And the fact his nigga mentioned my glasses prove he ain’t a top tier, cuz whats the difference with them on or off is now I see the bitch in you a lot clearer”) schemes and bars.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “You get no puss, just cut it out, that’s a Caesarean, this the first battle that you getting paid, that’s an embarrassment….”
Recap: First of all, I really hate this host, he’s mad unprofessional and annoying as hell. And secondly, two rounds?!? That never makes any sense as no battle should ever end in an even amount of rounds. But whatever, still a good battle nonetheless tho it’s funny watching JC use a bar like “class in session, but since this little nigga still growing, I’m a add a lesson” to a dude that’s taller than him. Still, Red spazzed in the 1st round to clearly win that round, while JC edged the second with more consistent and harder bars. Too bad they didn’t have the common sense to make ’em do a 3rd round.
Verdict: (TIE)
Best line:(TIE) JC – “Hard shit, we blaze arms in your state armed, say my name I’ll pop up, state farm” and O-Red – “Jay-Z, J. Cole, them the J’s that’s relevant, you the ‘J’ I do not rock with, Carmelo kicks”
Recap: One of prez mafia’s best performances. While Show Off stayed with basic “I’m realer that you are and this is why” type bars, prez just snapped, releasing a whole arsenal of fierce wordplay, hard (“Boom told me to get busy when I’m slaying you dog, get wild like six fouls, I ain’t playing no more”) punchlines, personals and hot performance bars that almost had him pulling a bodybag. Indeed, this is the version of prez you expect to see on a more consistent basis.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Show Off – “The reason ya teeth twisted, with that ugly nigga smile, ‘cuz you fucked them up from biting all them other nigga’s styles”
Recap: A love for switching flow patterns, speed rapping, wordplay and spicy punchlines by both RemyD and Pass makes for an intriguing 3-rounder on KOTD between these two and the battle lives up to the suspense, as two rhymeslingers keep it close throughout. However, after a debatable round 1, despite a pair of pretty solid, versatile and stylistic turns by RemyD, it’s a slightly more turned up, wordplay-lit, set-up/haymaker-heavy and scathing with the personals Pass who edges rounds 2 (a classic) and 3 for the win.
Verdict: Pass (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pass – “You ain’t famous, but a pound in front of you will make your name a trending topic!”
Recap: Barely new to the scene, all the while opening the door for Christian battle rappers to come after him, Th3 Saga uses a more condensed and punch-heavy 1st round as well as some mocking personals, righteous darts, a dope rebuttal and some piercing 4-bar setups in the latter rounds to handily beat back an Alonzo Green who started off well in the opening round, but decreased immensely when it came to bar efficiency in rounds 2 and 3.
Verdict: Th3 Saga (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Th3 Saga – “I was told this was built as a ticket to the Proving Grounds, but if you lose to a Christian rapper then nigger what are you proving now?!”
Synopsis: This battle really made no sense. JJDD, a Proving Ground neophyte, versus Math Hoffa, a seasoned veteran. Sure, both are well-known and in 2013, they’re battle game has gotten real prolific. But there’s no history here, much less any beef, plus you’re dealing with two completely different styles. So I can only garner a guess that Hoffa felt he was doing JJDD a favor by battling him, who knows?
Either way, John John took a serious L from the start, thinking he could go completely out of character and bully URL’s No. 1 bully instead of using the type of stellar name flips, schemes and work play that he put up so well against X-Factor–just another in a series of bad decisions. Then he plays himself by bringing up Dose while proceeding to turn his hat backwards. After that (tho, you could arguably give JJDD the first round only because Math’s was so short) it all went downhill from there and not even John John’s best “Multiple Choice”could save him. Especially against vintage Math: consistent aggression while completely sonning John John in both the 1st and 3rd rounds, addressing JJDD’s renowned thievery, spitting a classic 2nd round, crowd control, personals, biblical schemes and of course…bars like that.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1
Best line: Math Hoffa – “For murder I come loaded with 3 clips beams that will shine, I spot your tee, I’mma leave shit clean, that’s 48 shots, that’ll make me see with spleens, they asked why son died, I gave John 3, 16…”
Synopsis: JC takes the first two rounds with better (“I wasn’t even gonna take you bro’, I don’t even joke, they said it’s 4:20 I got all the weed you can blow, I said ‘bet’ [and] I don’t even smoke!”) bars over Caustic’s jokes and delivery (tho like JC said that ‘Boston’ line in round 3 was crazy mean and nice) for the win.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Caustic – “So what you gonna do?, hit me with the 9 next, 5 techs, talk about killing people for 5 years and ain’t nobody died yet”
Recap: Xcel and Jey Bundy make a little battle rap history as the first participants to battle on the TrapHouse NY stage. And while the newbies displayed some flaws here and there (Xcel’s 2nd round was mad tedious, while Bundy struggled with his flow in the 3rd), a boatload of lyrical stunting by Xcel and Bundy’s solid punches and wit made for a mostly competitive battlewith the more haymaker-lit Xcel scoring a 30.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Xcel – “Your kind?, pork belly, yunno the squeal type, I’m King Cobra, I strike venom in all these real mics!”
Recap: With an apparent irreverence to actually rhyming at times, an emotive and steadily aggressive Diesel still manages to edge round one with more direct and potent bars than his opponent. From there, however, it’s all Emerson Kennedy, who with a friendly combo of casual wit, jaunty wordplay and a Diesel slip-up in the deciding 3rd, takes this Utah vs. Cali battle from AHAT.
Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy -“Nigger’s gassing you up, I’m like who in your head?, and nigger’s hitting your wife…that’s who in your bed!”
Recap: In front of a sometimes hostile Detroit crowd, Bones Brigante deserves credit for getting off all his bars. But the truth is that even in front of neutral crowd, this one would’ve been a wash. That explains the difference between Midwest Miles’ mostly potent punchlines, feelgood ‘106 & Park’ personals and witty set-ups versus the mostly elementary bars that Bones was spitting. All said, there’s no bias in saying that this was just a walk in the park for Miles.
Verdict: Midwest Miles (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Midwest Miles – “I used to be a fat nigga with that white girl getting money…call that my Blind Side!”
Recap: Chayna Ashley uses delicious (“I brought niggas that lft spirits like choirs do, these unemployed men [unemployment] still send bucks when they fire’d you!”) wordplay, lofty swag and nifty (“And y’all gave her the corwn, then who had it before E”, how is she the answer, when A through D come before E?”) punchlines to give E-Hart a fight…that is, until surprising slip-ups in rounds 2 and 3 ruin any chance she had of winning this battle. Besides that, it was toe-to-toe elite gun chatter, fiery bars and nice braggadocio (E-Hart: “I’m too quick, I don’t think you can jab with me, big bitches like you be resorting to grabbing me, well grab and I’ll grab back,if I fall you’ll get dragged with me, they’ll think I’m leaving the lab because I’m taking those tracks with me!”) lines on both sides. But Hart’s unwavering flow and potent personals end up securing the win.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 2-1
Favorite line: E-Hart – “Hand out the window like I’m dumping the ashtray…no hand out the window start dumping and give Ash trey!”
Recap: Devast8r, a New Zealand battle rapper and aesthetically, a bigger physically and stylistic version of Diz in tone, aggression and wit keeps himself in this match with an onslaught of eyebrow jokes and some other witty punches. But showing more versatility with the personals, but also scoring with stealthy punchlines, piercing schemes/4-bat set-ups and sporty name flips, the visiting Diz steals the show while earning a 30.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “You went from weighing 500 kilos to 400, like how prideful is that?, congratulations cunt…you’re finally fat!”
Synopsis: Young Kannon delivers enough nice punchlines, schemes and exquisite wordplay to overcome a clearly biased host and admitted Barry White lookalike in Real Talk.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “This a televised practice, these my second-string bars on him”
Synopsis: First, major props to J. Dose for even showing up. I mean, serving as a punchline for so long after infamously getting decked on stage during a rap battle would probably make dudes go underground, get a job at UPS and never be heard from again…understandably so. Secondly, other than a decent 1st round that featured some too real bars on life since The Punch, it’s clear here that Dose–armed with too much filler, elongated rounds and lame schemes–just isn’t quite ready for the URL stage. Lastly, you get Math at his best: bars on deck, all-too-funny jokes, bully semantics and biting personals. Take out the fact that Math’s still making excuses for that lost to Calicoe and that one bar from Dose (“Cuz’ in these battle [world] niggas drop albums, and he still holding off well…one hit”) that had to hurt Math ego’s just a little bit and URL’s first ever rematch is nothing but Hoffa all day.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0
Best line: Math Hoffa – “I had this dude on the floor screaming out ‘Why me?’, I send four roman (roaming) your way you get the I V”
Synopsis: Mike Tyson once said that “I just have this thing inside me that wants to eat and conquer”. Well let it be said that Sco came here to eat and conquer Nuborn and left without crumb on his plate. Consider too that Nuborn’s been on a pretty decent run of late, but despite some dope bars he just got straight bodied here as Sco just spazzed throughout….back to the drawing board.
Verdict: Sco (W) 3-0
Best line: Nuborn – “I laugh when I saw dog fighting, that’s Calicoe, get decked out in front of your crib, that’s patio’s, I spark rounds, lay a markdown, that’s tacky clothes, either bounce or I’ll get your face on a bullet, that’s Mario, so you better book and take cover, that’s Fabio, I aim at bitch square foreheads, that”s Jacki-O, you moving packs and O’s well shit I’m back on the grind, that’s a guaranteed brick, dog, Shaq on the line…”
Synopsis: Might as well toss out all the rules of battling when it comes to these two as the tension and history between them only made sense for Bill and Suge to nearly come to blows here. But then Suge’s first round was extra fierce and might’ve been a certified classic if Earl hadn’t paid him a visit. All the while Bill Collector seemed to be worried about performance than bars all throughout his 3 rounds, easily giving Shotgun the win.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1
Best line: Shotgun Suge – “You the type to get knocked out and blog about it like Joe Buddens”
Recap: From KOTD, a near body for Real Deal as opponent Tony D’s struggles with his flow in both of the opening rounds help give an already punchline/personal-heavy RD the win, before the more hitting RD also takes the 3rd round to get the 30.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “How the fuck are you old as shit but you look like you’re in 2nd grade!”
