No Bias. No Narratives.
Mister Greco Synopsis: Decent battle and close throughout, but I got Hazey (more versatility, originality and ya’ love those “dumb it downs”) taking the 1st and 3rd rounds to edge it.
Verdict: Hazey (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hazey – “You caca half breed, fuck I gotta say that in Patwa, you ass B, y’all praise dog and I’m gonna put a bullet in Selassie”
Synopsis: Way too much filler, a plethora of lame lines about DNA’s dad and a surprising stumble in round 2 gave Arsonal the loss here. But then DNA’s 3rd round, what with the funny wig, exposing the UW league business dealings/editing skills and Arsonal’s past teh ghey moments during battles, deserved just as much credit for getting him a clear win.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Best line: DNA – “I like when he told Charlie Clips you can’t spell ARS without putting the bars in it, it’s just one problem in my rounds I been had bars in it, nigga while you was on Earth, I was on Mars with it, conquered my fears through blood, sweat and tears, in these battles I went through wars with it, over the years I opened some ears, met a few stars in it….”
Synopsis: My man put me on to this Mr. Wavy cat outta BK and I must confess….I’m hooked. I mean this kid is a beast with personals, performance, bars, jokes, delivery…it’s all there. From the 1st round to the 3rd. Wavy put on a show and just destroyed Foreplae like he wasn’t there. And what with 6 or 7 battles under his belt, I could see Mr. Wavy stepping up and being a serious problem for more upper echelon heads in 2014.
Verdict: Mr. Wavy (W) 3-0
Best line: Mr. Wavy – “And the crowd? Y’all gonna be standing there looking over his body…with that face like he had Kool-Aid with no sugar and he thought it had flavor in it”
Recap: Easy vic for Cortez, whose flexing/witty personals, solid wordplay, righteous boasts and piercing punchlines handily beat back the very nimble rhymes of an overmatched Jus Daze in this 1-rounder from Mighty Fuzz Young.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “But which one y’all wanna see?, I nigger like me who fucks bad bitches and spits fire ‘cuz he made like that vs. a nigger who looks like Allen Iverson crossed him and he stayed like that!”
Recap: More witty and stifling with the personals, in lieu of a pretty even punchfest overall, Dutchess delivers just enough rugged schemes to edge the deciding 3rd round and win this competitive BarzN BraStrapz matchup versus Viixen The Assassin.
Verdict: Dutchess (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dutchess – “Yeah, her ass nice but her tits sag, tell her step her bra’s [bars] up!”
Synopsis: In a URLTV battle littered with fire schemes from both sides (esp. that crazy R&B scheme LottaZay dished in the deciding 3rd round), it’s the more consistently hitting and flow tight Zay who gets the win over Tone Montana.
Verdict: LottaZay (W) 2-1
Best line: LottaZay – “This how I do, I blaze wig’s nigga, March 9th the wrong day to BIG nigga!”
Recap: Not sure what battle the judges who had Cadillac Ron winning were watching, but in this Red Bull Event, 1-round freestyle/word association battle, Dizaster clearly did better when it came to incorporating the words into his raps and even providing some nice punches during his turn as well.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’ll fucking burn this bitch, I never knew they let girls enter the tournament!”
Synopsis: Emerging in the wake of PG’s dudes feening to take over the scene, Danny Myers has unequivocally displayed his thirst with a ridiculous amount of battles in a short timespan. And while a mid-tier like John John deserves props for giving Myers a shot, stolen bars aside, on skills alone this one shouldn’t have been close. But after JJDD struck hard with that 1st round (dope wordplay along with a superb “lumberjack” scheme), it all went downhill from there as JJDD literally gave away the 3rd and tho the 2nd round was close, Myers’ delightful horror scheme, aggression and onslaught of assault bars edged it in the end.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Best line: Danny Myers – “He is my son, but I have no respect for this nigga, cuz they still taking money out my check for this nigga”
Recap: Pulling out a mean bag of spicy punchlines, some piercing personals and well executed mayhem/wordplay, MyVerse doesn’t break a sweat in beating back a solid-punching, but nowhere-near-as-potent Ill V in her debut battle on Voicebox Battles.
Verdict: MyVerse (W) 3-0
Favorite line: MyVerse – “And her music is nonexistent…like V’s neck!”
Recap: Although he had a strong 3rd round, BC’s penchant for dishing better jokes than bars hurts him in the long run when faced against O’fficial’s fiery punchlines/personals, rigid gun bars and potent schemes/wordplay in the first two rounds.
Verdict: O’fficial (W) 2-1
Favorite line: O’fficial – “You and your whole family a bitch, even your seed’s soft, and acting like you down will you and your team tossed, no excuses, after this here, is a clean loss, that chopper will leave this bitch shirtless if I get T’d off!”
Recap: A 1-round battle that’s pretty witty on the low, Nu Jerzey Twork uses some piercing name flips and a gang of ringing 4-bar punches to beat back a solid throughout, but not nearly as potent Head.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “I’ll put a couple engaged like wedlock, nigger I ain’t taking pictures when I get Head shot [headshot]!”
Recap: Good iBattle League matchup between M. Ciddy and K-Kendle sees the two go toe-for-toe (M. Ciddy: “Way back I had a broke habit, blackhead, I was stuck and poor, then got Proactive”; K-Kendle: “You put your name on the line like acceptance sheets, everything’s falling into place like a Tetris cheat”) in the first couple of rounds before Ciddy decides to step it up with a steady and aggressive stream of wicked punchlines, metaphors and wordplay to take the final round and along with that the win.
Verdict: M.Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “I’m vivid and too hot, NBA Jam Ill show that I’m on fire if you give me a few shots”
Recap: Harlem, NY battle vet Swave Sevah travels overseas to hip-hop hotbed Manila to take on local Filipino battler Batas and despite receiving star treatment in a stadium of onlookers, nearly blows it with a slip-up and near choke in round 1. Thankfully for Swave, his opening round hiccup would be slight and with a fine mixture of fiery personals, righteous bully semantics and witty but also rigid punchlines, the Team Homi leader would be able to easily take the opening rounds before a punch-heavier Batas stepped up his game and handily took the final round.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “I was the toughest kid in the sandbox, by 16 I ran blocks, and I dare you to test my Will when that Smif [Smith] is in my hand cocked [Hancock]!”
Recap: Ty Law’s wide range of rich personals, potent (“Catch him in his whip, let a Tek aim, head banging on a steer wheel, hit his left brain, had the horn beeping when the feds came, van horn [Van Horn] still was going off like a old ass Nets game!”) schemes and sizzling (“Challengers I’m homy-ing and I’m bodying this slouch, this snitch Jacob the Jeweler, he diamond [dime-ing [diamond] niggas out”) punchlines prove to be too much for even a spelling champ like Boogie Flat, who displayed some (“See, the glock be the toy that’ll leave your spot fractured, I gotcha block mastered, bitch you better back up, watch my bitch act up, son I ain’t no rapper, cock the .4 and let you meet the real 5th factor”) highlights here and there, but until the 3rd round, failed to match Law’s consistency, versatility and overall verbal onslaught.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ty Law – “I’ll pop your toddler, in ya crib, spark her mad [pow! pow!], two to [tutor] ya kid like I’m smart in math!”
Synopsis: Who knew 40oz. Jess had bars on deck? Still a loss nonetheless as Ah Di Boom’s personals, schemes, performance and aggressive wordplay clearly outnumbered Jess’ hilarious (“See, your flow’s aight but mine’s sicker, only time you need to {w]rap is when you taking it off the stickers”) jokes, but considering 40oz. having little to no experience at this battle rap thing, this wasn’t as bad a look as one might’ve expected.
Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ah Di Boom – “Put all that noise in the air, that’s a soundcloud”
Synopsis: Despite a midway slip-up, Ty Law gets his grind up and takes out a competitive, but clearly outclassed Clemenza in this last-minute promo battle.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ty Law – “This dopehead sniff and drive, nosebleeding and all, like a bitch that caught you cheating, hoe’s keying his car”
Synopsis: No battle rapper gets booed outside his home turf more than Aye Verb. Yet, I can’t see Aye Verb ever letting booing stop him from delivering a round like X-Factor does here. Shame too, because this isn’t even Goodz at his best and after the 1st round it was kind of close. And while X-Factor’s 2nd was just wack, a real vet wouldn’t let the crowd get to him like that. Clearly unprepared combined with a “priority’s” angle that went nowhere fast, X-Factor should lose a lot of fans for pulling this crap.
Verdict: Goodz (W) 3-0
Best line: Goodz – “And I heard your tenderoni was a sleaze, she a golddiger, I could mac your roni with some cheese, bake her, until she oven hot then I leave her, you open, so you take her out then you eat her, that’s crazy”
Recap: Showing off his funny bone with a bunch of piercing storytelling bars and witty personals when he wasn’t being his usual punch-worthy self, Fonz easily wins all 3 rounds in what was essentially was a lay-up over a mostly subpar Yung Daz in this matchup from TwoSixteens.
Verdict: Fonz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Fonz – “So what if ya bitch a little thicker I’ll still dick her to her waist so, you don’t never hit her, you just lick her like a state stub!”
Recap: I don’t what’s worse, watching this one-sided battle or Chinese water torture. Yeah, it’s that bad as Juice’s consistently lame (from that horrible ‘milk this cow’ spiel to that terrible ‘I’ll come to your head quarters like George Washington to bring you pain’ line) bars, underwhelming delivery and annoying hypeman seemed to even make the steadily on point (“Your battles getting views my nigga, I’ll give you that, but now your career getting cut shorter than Midget Mac”) T Top have a hard time getting through this battle. Granted, Juice scored just enough points to prevent a bodybag, but the simple fact that he didn’t even know what position Terrell Owens plays (he was only a Pro Bowl wide receiver and NOT a tight end) should be reason enough to never have to watch him battle rap again.
Verdict: T Top (W) 3-0
Favorite line: T Top – “Listen bitch, all that staring could get your vision split, 20/20, that’s a big .40, now spit and whip”
Recap: When he wasn’t talking throughout DNA’s rounds, The Saurus mostly kicks some lame (“What do you call the people who ghostwrite his bars? DNAides”) rhymes as well as Charlie Clips/DNA fodder that we’ve long been privy too. Thus, it’s a pretty easy 3-0 for DNA, who before spazzing on race matters along with his opponent’s noted hypocrisy for style points in round 3, took round 1 and edged round 2 with better delivery, (“I came with all my niggas, we rolling 60 deep, don’t ask me if I ball, just know that I grip the heat, ain’t got nothing but white shooters, so you could die from a Pistol Pete”) wordplay and punchlines.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Favorite line: DNA – . “Now you wanna act like it’s words nigga, your brains will be on that curve nigga, shoot you and your bitch with a .33 on her, now you on the back of that Bird nigga!”
Synopsis: Since he hasn’t spoken about it publicly, one can only guess what’s going on in Yung Ill’s personal life these days and one can only hope that its gotten a lot better since this battle dropped. Still, the belief here is that once you step on the stage and into the ring…all bets are off. That said this is just hard to watch as Ill pulls consecutive choke after choke that makes you not only cringe, but wish he had listened to the audience and just stopped mid verse (or freestyle) in each round. Of course, with the repeated hot bars O-Red spits throughout here, I’m guessing that even if Ill had brought his A-game, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stand up to Red anyway. But if you paid your hard-earned dollars to see these two at their best, it’s a shame only one of the them was able to give you your money’s worth.
Verdict: O-Red 3-0
Best line: O-Red – “But now you standing here like you poppin’ thangs, stop it lame, you nervous, I can hear you shaking nigga, you pocket change…”
Recap: Excuse the loud and aggressive, but mostly basic raps from Gooch as this one is all Moon. Whether delivering stifling personals (esp. in the 3rd) or dishing on raw, authentic street shit or spitting fire schemes or spouting spine-tingling gun lines, an all-business-mode and consistent Moon puts it all together for 3 rounds to take this one going away.
Verdict: Moon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Moon – “I ain’t gotta kill you, I could cock back the pistol, hand it to you and let you do that yourself!”
Recap: Filipino battle rapper Loonie, arguably the most viewed rapper in the world, holds his own with some witty barbs/personals and stinging punches here and there against Dizaster in this Sunugan 3-rounder. But one too many dry spots from Loonie plus his inability to sustain enough consistent bite to beat back Diz’s mocking personals, boastful darts, raucous multi’s and aggressive name-calling/name flips, costs the Filipino battler a hometown win.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “You’re not even a Filipino emcee, you look like a Vietnamese Beastie Boy!”
Recap: Plenty of dope punchlines in this close matchup between O’fficial and Unique Barrz (“I’m like lazy detectives the way I let a case go”), but Unique might as well as have been reading from a book the way so many of her bars lacked passion and delivery. Edge it to O’fficial for a better performance overall and a little more variety with her bars.
Verdict: O’fficial (W) 2-1
Favorite line: O’fficial – “Your names Unique, that’s what bitches call themselves when they know they ugly”
Recap: In what started out as a bit of a snorefest what with Presidential Dubz and Eclipse Da God feeling each other out through a haze of mediocre bars, earns with mark when Dubz takes flight about midway through his second round, dizzying his opponent with spitfire punchlines along with righteous personals, fiery performance bars and heated gun liners that left the haymaker-challenged Eclipse probably seeking another lane to display his rap talent.
Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “Fuck you doing singing to the next nigga, that shit’s homo, R&B ass nigga, I’ll let that K see Jojo!”
Synopsis: Real good battle. I had no idea who Rolla was before seeing him here, but judging from this battle vs. Tay Roc we need to see more of him–he’d make a good impression on URL’s Proving Grounds stage ’cause he’s funny with performance and has bars (love the shots he took at Roc’s hypeman here). However, Roc was typical Roc tho with aggression, vet status, delivery, nice schemes and just better consistent bars (esp. in rounds 1 and 3) to give him the win.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Best line: Tay Roc – “You dead, your family gonna need a wigi board to talk to you”
Recap: The straightforward style of Aussie rapper The Kid works best here when he cobines wit with performance as he does in the 3rd round. Other than that Kid’s basic wordplay, as showcased in the early rounds, is no contest for Conceited’s versatile (“In this battle while I’m beating The Kid, this is child abuse!”) name flips and fiery punchlines.
Verdict: Conceited (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Conceited – “See, thee lesson I’m trying to teach is when that heat squirting and that infra-red beam working, he’ll be another Aussie to die from a ray like Steve Irwin!”
Recap: From Australia’s Got Beef league, against a solid overall punch game from Anecdote, DNA uses a steady diet of fierce name flips, rigid schemes and a couple of spicy rebutalls to edge rounds 2 and 3 (call round 1 debatable) of this 3-rounder for the win.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Your metaphors and schemes are stretched out like a rubberband, and your punches are like Alice ‘cuz you can’t get one to land [Wonnderland]!”
Recap: If Rich Dolarz is going to waste some bars and throw some shots at his peers in a battle, he might as well do it in a one-rounder here against a relative unknown in McKims. Still, for all of Rich’s (“It’ll make you commit suicide, not because you ain’t feeling well, my honey cocaine [Honeycomb] make a nigga wanna kill themselves!”) swagger-jacking, too many lines here just didn’t quite add up to the deft of his sheer intensity. Thankfully, for McKims that’s just enough room for his witty, but filler-prone banter to score a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: McKims – “I forever hold the peace [piece] like I didn’t have anything to say at the wedding!”
Recap: Very close battle between Luciano Crakk and Kinaze. Better jokes (that “Quack bitch” line/rebuttal killed) on Kinaze’s side, but tighter bars, metaphors and execution on Crakk’s. Those who think Kinaze clearly won might be caught up in the hype provided his cheerleaders.
Verdict: Luciano Crakk (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Luciano Crakk – “I’m like a real estate agent, as soon as she saw homes I had to give her that property”
Recap: “Every bar that I made is as sharp as a blade”, “turn white into green like incredible hulk”
…basic lines like that might’ve worked in the 90’s, but a couple of decades later you need heavy wordplay, metaphors, similes, etc. in order to hang with the big boys and as shown here 9DM isn’t equipped with any of those. That said, easy win for Bigg K…and yes that’s ‘Bigg’ with two g’s…how dare he.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bigg K – “I’m from Shark city where the goons ride and the bricks cook, where you from y’all make moonshine and hunt Big Foot”
Synopsis: I remember Scripps from his battle with B-Magic, so I knew he’d bring his A-game here. And against an earnest YK, you knew this would be a good battle. I had it tied after round one, but Scripps was more consistent and delivered better bars and personals in round 3 to earn the W.
Verdict: Scripts (W) 2-1
Best line: (tie) YK – “Kidnap ya shortie and hold her longer than Smack footage” and Scripts – “The way she sucking on the dick, Kan I got your bitch rubber-necking, fuck her from the back, look like I’m discount double-checking”
Recap: First of all, salute to Lil Caeser and Wyclef, who co-hosted this battle and of course, R.I.P. Biggie Smalls. That said, besides an educational, spitfire and classic appearance in round 3 from ‘Professor Shine’, a couple of things always stood out about this battle between K-Shine and DNA. For starters, there’s the dope schemes/name flips and personals shown by each battler throughout the bout. Secondly, you have all the Charlie Clips mentions. And then there’s the fact that for all the ridicule DNA’s gotten for that WTF moment in choosing to rap-on-beat towards the end of his turn, up until that disastrous decision, his final round was not only crazy, but competitive and looking to be his best round of the night..Either way, a pretty memorable battle that would spearhead one of the greatest battle-rap duo’s of all-time, would be decided by a speed-rapping, but gritty and punch-heavy Shine taking the 1st round before an equally-stout, but also condensed DNA edged the 2nd. And ably assisted by an electrifying cameo from the rarely seen and previously mentioned Prof. Shine, a versatile and consistently hitting Shine would take the 3rd for the win.
Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1
Favorite line: K-Shine – “I’m in shape like Rocky when was boxing Apollo, ‘If he dies, he dies!’, I got the conscious of Drago!”
Recap: Loud with the heat and aggressive with the parlay, it’s too bad that overall PG Skillet’s bars lacked so much intricacy, leaving a solid, but very beatable (esp. after the 1st round) Ave with a pretty banal sweep of this battle from 7 Cities Sharks.
Verdict: Ave (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ave – “Nigga’s never picked you for blazin;, you like Jordan with Portland!”
Recap: This “Battle of the Mafia’s” sees a horrible coin toss, prez stumble and Double R literally almost run out of gas with his bars, but lyrically it’s still the kid from the Bronx who comes one better.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 1-0
Favorite line: prez mafia -“I’ll punch you in the middle of April, that’s a boxspring”
Recap: Easy win for Sno who literally goes ham with an assortment of gun bars, sexual innuendo lines and crisp punchlines to outcook Gambitt.
Verdict: Sno (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Sno – “I’m sonning your monkey ass, like the man in the yellow hat!”
Synopsis: Good to see Rex came to win as too many of the veteran battle rappers still don’t seem to take O-Red seriously (despite the great run’s he on). And yet while I had it tied going into the 3rd round, Red easily took round 3 with enough over-the-top personals and stellar bars to make Rex leave with his first loss in Jersey.
Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1
Best line: O-Red – “You just talk tough, I ain’t gotta show you my cocky side, my machine could do all the talking, Johnny 5”
Recap: Damn, they just walked into that “Who in here think Shiest raw?’ line by Bonnie Godiva, who also used a bunch of other hitting set-ups/punchlines, witty/aggressive personals and boastful barbs to easily beat the gritty, but mostly pedestrian stylings of Ms. Raw in this 1-rounder from WBL Philly.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “I hate you, you Black bitch…I’m Uncle Rufus nigga!”
Recap: Even if it’s just for only one round, two battle emcees going at it on 24-hours notice is always impressive. That said, with Danny Myers taking awhile before he really got in his bag and Emerson Kennedy dishing consistently nice (“All of your nigga’s hitters, but ya didn’t often know, is they running trains behind ya back like Mister Rogers show!”) schemes/bars that was only spoiled by a slip-up towards the end, let’s call this one even.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Beat you the fair way, he the type to tie his album to a kite just to get some airplay!”
Recap: A somewhat bizarre match between Math and Shotty Horror as Math shockingly takes a round off (which I don’t have a problem with considering that other athletes do it, like boxers and tennis players) and Shotty besides some nice Tupac schemes, surprisingly underwhelms before totally slipping up in round 3 and having to resort to freestyling in order to save him from a choke. That said, overall an easy win for Math, who despite at times struggling with his delivery, easily took rounds 1 and 3 with better penmanship, consistency and personals to gain a win in Manchester over one of Europe’s best.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Now if you ain’t in Manchester, you probably can’t win fights, this slave went to the North so he could land [swings punch] his rights!”
Recap: QOTR 3-round main event between Phara Funeral and 40 B.A.R.R.S. had its moments of addressing rumors, spicy personals, fierce schemes and punch-heavy linguistics here and there, but for the most part settled into a solid bar-fest with a kill switch that surprisingly was never turned on when considering the seeming dislike these two had for each other. And while a sometimes prone to missteps Phara performed straight through without any unforced errors, a couple of elongated rounds and one too many aimless spins would help an aggressive, gritty and more steady with the heat 40 handily take both of the opening rounds for the win before a 3rd round debatable.
Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “How you a pioneer?, it only took me a year for me to get to P, that’s ‘cuz I’m raw, Salmonella, common codeine ain’t as sick as me!”
Recap: This was unfair. For all the talking these two did before this battle, the results are a one-sided affair that had you wishing someone had thrown in the towel for Don Ladyii after round 2. Funny too to see that Don Ladyii’s attempt to put QB’s alleged criminal past on blast didn’t go over well with the crowd…at all. Only Couture could pull that shit off. Again this was unfair….QB all day.
Verdict: QB (W) 3-0
Favorite line: QB – “So when that Mac-11 click shit, I been a feen, squeeze on a boss like Rick Ross in skinny jeans”
Recap: After a somewhat lackluster round by HBK, Jay Rell goes hard in the paint, delivers fiery bars with hitting jokes and shows why he belongs in the big leagues.
Verdict: Jay Rell (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jay Rell – “This battle started bad, when I show him how this Tommy work, that’ll make Martin mad”
Synopsis: “Bully” vs, “Bully”, just what the fans had wanted. But based on experience and lyrics alone did anybody really think Shotgun had a chance? Despite a couple of early stumbles Math’s consistent personals, aggression, jokes and of course, bars like that just did a number on an over-matched from jump Suge–who while not aware that Tupac was actually born in New York, came with typical aggression, delivery, shit-talking (“You think life’s a fucking joke nigga, you gon fuck around with them fuck arounds and fuck around and get smoked nigga”) and even some hot bars (“you gonna catch a nugget in New York like number 7 from the Knicks”). Still, Math’s fat jokes (“he talk about he the shooter and the driver, cuz can’t nobody else fit in the whip'”) and that real talk during Round 1 about how Suge almost got Arsonal and Surf killed in Detroit, was more than enough for Brooklyn to take home the trophy.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0
Best line: Math Hoffa – “When Trick Trick stepped to Arsonal it was over you, if I was Surf I’d punch you in the face for what I’m gonna do, I guess this shit was overdue, a lesson learned for both of you, a shotgun does the most damage when it’s close to you”
Recap: Ajax kept it close here against Ty Law through two rounds thanks to a nice flow that spouted some dope (“I’m from Shark City where them heaters stay squeezing, you from PG County…where there’s PTA meetings”; “I’mma take this early, see the flow stupid cold [Cole], but I don’t date Big Shirley!”) bars and some fierce wordplay. But a lack of consistency with some filler here and there, a couple of slip-ups in the 3rd round and Law’s more steady punchlines game along with aggressive bully (“I’ll kick his features till his teeth is chipped, no cereal, I got him eating Kix [kicks]”) bars, ended up setting Ajax adrift.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ty Law – “This guy will get his kin killed when I pull a glock, bullets hot, thought he coudl touch me but now he looking shot, back down B, all you get is a wooden box!”
Recap: Good call by the host to end this one a little early as Danny Myers was just OD’ing on opponent Rachit here in this 1-rounder with $500 on the line. Indeed, while Rachit came with some gritty street missives, one too many subpar punches from him along with Myers rampant performance-rich bars, grandiose displays of mayhem, flexing punchlines/wordplay/schemes and jaunty personals were just too much in the end.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “You are battling the G.O.A.T. so that makes you the sacrificial lamb!”
Recap: From QOTR, a dope, competitive battle between Bonnie Godiva and a fiery Lexx Banko with Bonnie’s wit making the difference after the two split the opening rounds. A consistently raucous, but also funny at times Banks stayed on her opponent’s neck with plenty of rich mayhem, real street shit and head-ringing punchlines, while a more versatile Bonnie kept it aggressive and earnest with loaded schemes, piercing braggadocios lines, some fire name flips/wordplay and stifling personals/jokes. After the punch-heavier Godiva took the first and a gritty Lexx edged the 2nd, a pretty solid 3rd round from both battlers goes to the slightly punch-heavier Bonnie for the win.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bonnie Godgiva – “I know you chubby chasers like to eat the cake more than the twat!”
Recap: Well, at least Ash Cash’s hair looked really nice. Sporting some fire wordplay, a bunch of biting personals, piercing punchlines/boastful barbs and of course, helped too by the notoriously forgetful Ash Cash’s usual assortment of slip-ups and chokes, Viixen The Assassin gets an easy 30 in this 3-rounder from Barz N Brastrapz.
Verdict: Viixen The Assassin (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Viixen The Assassin – “You want to be a star so bad but you still got bum-bitch tendencies, how you expect to have the whole package when you lacking delivery!?”
Recap: Getting downright nasty and spitting line after scheming (“My fighting style is influential, you get dropped, that talk come to a stop before the hook come, that’s an instrumental”) line with straight confidence and flair, J. Murda forgoes the filler and puts a hurting on D. Skrillz–who came with some (“I ain’t brought you in this world little nigga, but I’ll take you the fuck out”) shine and got better as his round prolonged, but overall didn’t produce near enough heat to withstand Murda’s repeated fire.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 1-0
Favorite line: J. Murda – “Loss, y’all gonna pay the price to your boss for not showing respect, it’s looking bad boy, ambulance ain’t got no special delivery, and about to pay your G. debt [G. Dep]”
Recap: Lil Dave is funny as hell, came creative too with the “let me ask you a questions” lines, has some nice bars, knows how to storytell and can clearly play to the crowd. That said, while YK came hitting with the bars, there wasn’t much variety, he had a couple of slight stumbles and you’ve seen him hit harder as well as come with more consistent heat. So with all being fair, URL rapper vs. non-URL rapper and all, this one is a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Lil Dave – “And in your battle vesus JC you said some shit that was so untrue, you said you was blowing la with those Milwaukee niggas, Nigga we was smoking with YOU!”
Recap: It’s been said plenty of times by both critics and his peers that Arsonal can be filler-prone and no battle exemplifies that belief more than this one versus Charlie Clips. I mean, how bad did Ars’ penchant for saying a whole lot of nothing get? When you’re inviting a female member of your hometown crowd to suck your you-know-what because she’s bored stiff at listening to your pedestrian raps, you just know that it wasn’t a good day at the office. And let it be noted that besides a versatile, punch-heavy, scheme-savvy, witty and off-the-dome efficient Clips doing him in for 3 rounds (to be fair, the 1st round, easily Ars’ shortest and most condensed, was close), Ars’ failure to consistently get disrespectful (his biggest strength) with his bars and his bent on weak personals, predictable punchlines, elongated schemes as well as random shots at DNA and URL didn’t help his cause either in a battle that was ultimately pretty one-sided.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “I could see mama Arsonal texting his phone, ‘Hey baby come over for supper!’, he walk in with an attitude ‘cuz the first person he spot is his brother, on his way to wash his hands in the bathroom, what did he discover?, a woman kissing on Joe Budden’s neck and it’s ya mother…everybody in your family like Joe Buddens’ Ars!”
Recap: After surviving a lyrically sharp, wordplay-nice, fierce calendar-scheme dishing 1st round from Jai Smoove, an elongated, but no split-hair having Couture still makes the most of her latter rounds with a boatload of fiery gun bars, spicy punchlines, boastful barbs and hard-hitting/witty personals to beat back her gritty, but less substantive opponent and get the win in this 3-rounder from QOTR.
Verdict: Couture (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Couture – “Now you taking this death for free and these views?, don’t get ’em confused, they just for me!”
Recap: NorthWest Alliance Battle League matchup between Stuey Newton and J.U.S. stays close for 3 rounds with a nice mix of nifty punchlines, spicy name flips, solid wordplay and rigid mayhem/personals all there to keep you paying attention. Competitive throughout, it’s still a more steady with the bite J.U.S. who manages to edge the first two rounds for the win before a punch-heavier Stuey avoids the shutout by taking the 3rd.
Verdict: J.U.S. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J.U.S. – “It only takes one phone call if I’m ever in a tough spot, the only time Stuey pulls strings is when his bus stops!”
Recap: For two battlers that allegedly ‘didn’t want to battle each other’ due to their friendship, Charron and HFK still put on a dope show for KOTD, delivering 3 spirited, highly competitive rounds that was littered with frequent boasts/disses, piercing punchlines and a slew of spicy personals and storytelling bars. Still, while the battle stayed close throughout, it’s a slightly more consistent and less pontificating Charron who edges all 3 rounds for the win.
Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charron – “You’re an impatient, ignorant bastard who couldn’t get any fatter, eating your Advent calendar in one day doesn’t make Christmas come any faster!”
Recap: A sloppy 3rd round by K Holla along with consistently witty punchlines throughout by Vicci allows the little guy to take the win from this featured rooftop PG battle.
Verdict: Vicci (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Vicci – “Well since my Tek’s are shooting it’s like Western Union the way I wire them cans, to give him that 4-0 plus that 1 k, what’s that’s? a retirement plan”
Recap: In a shortened 1-round battle that begs for a rematch, Shotty Horroh makes up for forgetting his rhymes by free-styling some solid punches and witty (“Who the fuck gave Organik loads of protein?!”) personals that had enough bite to earn a draw against a hitting at times, but also not on his A-game Pat Stay.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Only thing you have in common with Wolf, is your flow backwards!”
Recap: Even with the usual narratives we witness with these two: Math Hoffa “bully”-semantics and Pat Stay’s alleged drug use/topsy-turvy friendship with Hollohan making appearances, these two top tier battlers still put on a dope, competitive showing in this entertaining 3-rounder from KOTD. Pat, with plenty of boastful shiners and witty personals included in his repertoire consistently wrecked havoc, while a wily and aggressively stunting Math impressed throughout the battle with a gang of slick wordplay whether it was directed at his opponent or at KOTD. Still, after a debatable 1st round, it’s Pat who manages to lay down a higher quotient of haymakers in each of the latter rounds for the win.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Everyday you gotta put on that tough mood, God that must bug you, his mom’s be like, ‘Love you!’, he be like, ‘Whatever. Fuck you!'”
Recap: Sir Locksley had some tough (“Cut him off while he still running his mouth like Kung Fu flicks”) bars and put up a fight towards the end, but it still wasn’t near enough to beat Lotta Zay’s consistent wordplay, performance (“When its beef you a hurricane victim, this punk just hides, wait until everything blows over then he comes outside”) bars, name flips and hitting punchlines.
Verdict: Lotta Zay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Lotta Zay – “You gonna die it’s not cuisine when I lean treys [trays], you Smart Ones better help him make a Healthy Choice”
Recap: Taking advantage of a Dizaster too spent on allegations of stolen bars from his opponent, but also scoring left and right with a shitload of spicy punchlines, fiery schemes/gun bars, righteous mayhem and piercing personals, Arcane registers more than enough haymakers to take the opening rounds before the Diz we all know and love comes back with a boisterous, punch-heavy and near-flawless turn in the 3rd round to avoid getting shutout in a title match that would see Diz would have to give up his KOTD title chain.
Verdict: Arcane (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arcane – “The way you recycle bars, that’s a cop out…laziness, your shit sound incomplete with The Lox without Jadakiss!”
