Over 4,000 Recaps!

Mister Greco

Battle rap enthusiast living in Timbuktu

Tay Roc defeats O-Red

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Synopsis: I loved Tay Roc’s aggression, performance and consistency in delivering hot lines in the first couple of rounds. Roc not only hit O-Red with great bars, but nice schemes and personals….to the point that it made you feel that he wanted this win more than Red did. O’Red had a hot first two rounds too, but wasn’t quite as consistent as Tay was in round one so I gave Roc that one. The second round was Red at his best, in-ya-face aggression, cracking jokes and delivering straight heat (“marksburg open ya chest, I got that asthma pump”) and tho I’m not sure if those personals he hit with Tay with here were true or not they still worked, so Red edged round two. As for the 3rd round, while both calmed down a lot, Roc stayed consistent enough with better bars to get the win.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Best line: Tay Roc – “What you think of that?, nigga think Tay trippin’, niggas try me before so if they catch Tay slippin’, I’m a catch him outside, go to the whippin’, start bangin’ over top of the cars, Blake Griffin!”

Real Deal defeats Lotta Zay

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Recap: From Grind Time Now, a boatload of hard-hitting/witty personals, fire impressions, piercing punchlines and some witty barbs gives Real Deal the first two rounds for the win over a not-as-consistently spicy Lotta Zay before the Jersey puncher edged the 3rd to avoid getting shut out.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “‘Oh, he has gram’…so I do, two grandmothers!”

Calicoe defeats K-Shine

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Synopsis: Honestly I thought this one was pretty close, or a lot closer than people give it credit for. K-Shine put on a pretty good performance, challenging Calicoe’s “real talk” throughout, but going overkill on dissing his gov’t name. However, Calicoe’s consistent aggression, genial bars and Dot Mob personals hit so close to home that overall you had to give him the edge.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Calicoe – “Niggas wanna’ try me, I let the glock fly 3 and let these bullets park in son (Parkinson) and leave him shaking with Ali”

Tsu Surf defeats X-Factor

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Synopsis: Maybe Tsu Surf hasn’t ever bodied anybody, but one thing’s for sure when you see him battle in person you know you’re gonna get your money’s worth from Surf….and his opponent. That said, this battle was entertaining from beginning to end with the first two rounds I had split: Surf getting the first (that “Midwest movement” scheme was dope) while X-Factor edged the 2nd with slightly better bars, performance and jokes. Round 3 however, while X continued to put on good show in front of a away crowd, Surf upped it up an ante with some nice storytelling bars (with stellar performance and aggression to match) to take the win.

Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1

Best line: Tsu Surf – “And if we looking for the first nigga to hit the door when those slugs fly, the X it”

Tsu Surf defeats X-Factor

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Synopsis: A biased crowd and Suge proving to be a dope hypeman could easily cause one to give this matchup to Surf. But upon closer inspection, this battle was pretty close throughout with Surf (“What do you think of X?, ‘Oh’ hugs and kisses!”) and X-Factor clearly splitting the first two rounds. Round 3 being the deciding factor, give Surf the edge for staying consistent while slightly better overall bars. X-Factor was funny throughout tho and definitely represented for the Midwest.

Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1

Best line: X-Factor – “Stop all this fictional shit about your glock-9, how you whipping the rock and seen more pots than a nigga dyslexic staring at stop sign”

Ness Lee defeats Marv Won

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Recap: No disrespect to Ness Lee (the “produced by Jazzie Phizzle” line was funny), but Marvwon has too much experience in the game to be fumbling around as much as he did (I had the battle split after two) in round 3, spouting so much filler and losing here.

Verdict: Ness Lee (W) 2-1

Favorite line: MarvWon – “You probably still call your pistol a jammie”

Dizaster defeats Adi

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Recap: Against the very basic raps of Holland battle rapper Adi, Dizaster has an easy time of it, using plenty of raunchy/stifling personals, boastful shiners, witty barbs and raucous mayhem/punchliens over the course of 3 rounds to get the win.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “You’re such a dick-rider you leave comments on my battles before they come out!”

QB (Black Diamond) and Dutchess [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Dutchess has enough potent bars, wordplay and a dope delivery to be a problem for any female battle rapper. And the Bronx battler showed it here, going toe-to-toe with the forever disrespectful (as shown here, even the kids can get it too) QB on Queen of the Ring for two rounds of straight heat. I got an aggressive and straight venomous QB clearly taking the 1st round (a classic) and the more heavy punching Dutchess clearly taking the 2nd (“Talking about I suck dick and kiss my daughter and brother in the mouth, bitch you a yung’in, you suck dick and kiss your mother in the mouth!”). But after the ladies spent so much energy in the first couple of rounds, they both would barely limp through the deciding round 3. And without either one doing anything spectacular, we can safely call this one even.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: QB – “You got a 5 dollar foot long face!”

Hollow Da Don defeats Goodz

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Synopsis: Ok, while overall this was a dope and competitive battle, a couple of things really frustrated me about it. First, there was Hollow’s man, clearly high as fuck with his constant interruptions that could’ve easily wrecked his man’s flow. Then, of course, there’s Goodz choice in round 3 to get upset at a heckler in the crowd and forfeit a match he had a chance at winning, since I had the batted tied (Goodz edging the 1st while Hollow, in what was a sublime turn, clearly took the 2nd) going into the final round. Also, significant in this battle IMO was Hollow calling out Hitman Holla at the end of his 3rd round, which showed how much respect Hitman was getting after beating Arsonal. As for the battle itself, ultimately it’s Hollow’s stronger punch game (he even had a fire rebuttal in the middle of his written’s during the 3rd), consistently and versatility that gets him the win here as after a bullish (“You lost to Arsonal….clearly, no debating!!!”) 1st, Goodz’s bar potency really went downhill in both of the latter rounds.

Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-1

Best line: Hollow Da Don – “His man Charlie Clips did one battle and he thinks he’s Top 3 now, how we supposed to believe Charlie got clips when we only seen three rounds?!”

Swave Sevah defeats Big Kannon

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Recap: Swave Sevah puts down the hammer on a somewhat (at least in round 1 anyway) distracted Big Kannon with plenty of fat (“The only gram he ever touched was a cracker, and the last raid he was in involved a fridge”) jokes, name flips and flat-out haymakers to score an easy 3-0 in this Grind Time matchup.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Sevah Sevah – “This fuck face walked into a buffet with the tough face like…[growls}’Gimme a plate!”

Bill Collector defeats Young Greg

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Recap: An aggressive Young Greg makes it (“This faggot nigga probably go crazy for a cock meat sandwich”) competitive here against Bill Collector until the 3rd round, where Greg’s freestyle game fails to impress, allowing BC to take advantage and win the decisive round with rich performance (“Don’t he look like the boy that always owe you something?”) bars and a Cabbage Patch remix that had the crowd in hysterics.

Verdict: Bill Collector (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bill Collector – “My flow is elephant food, Billbert Einstein, I’m one intelligent dude!”

Tall T defeats Fat-Boy

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Recap: Fat-Boy proves to be good with the (“Y’all think that fag shit is fashion, not knowing ya ass look dumb, you came way from California, copped a battle for the outfit, hair done, nails done, everything did…you fashion ha?”) jokes (it edged him round 1)…and not much else, as too many nursery rhymes and just flat-out lame bars fail to stand any chance against Tall T’s consistently understated (“Although this pussy nigga hard to find, I’mma still leave his brains on the wall tho [Waldo]!”) punches and quixotic (“He a sidewalk ‘cuz this nigga not street, on me, why ain’t gotta surf the web nigga, look at his at neck if he trying to see some hot links!”) wordplay.

Verdict: Tall T (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tall T – “Breakfast time he be insecure, knowing he want the whole box, eating half a bowl”

X-Factor defeats Amzilla

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Synopsis: So at the beginning Poison Pen clearly yells (twice) that this is an unlimited battle, X-Factor goes unlimited and somehow Amzilla still gets cut off?! Anyway, considering that X went ham with the jokes and delivery and Amzilla admittedly stumbled (which he to make up for a lil’ bit with a freestyle), I highly doubt that Amzilla had enough left in his tank to catch up to the overall zealotry X-Factor displayed in his round. So give X the win, but with an asterisk.

Verdict: X-Factor (W) 1-0*

Favorite line: X-Factor – “When you see his mom and dad, smack ’em…cuz’ they’re cousins”

Bill Collector defeats Amazin D Boy

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Overtime

Synopsis: Besides Hitman Holla is there a better performer than Bill Collector? In this highly intense (I swear Amazin D Boy was spazzing so hard you wouldn’t be blamed for worrying that he might pop a blood vessel mid-round) and entertaining battle, these two go toe-to-toe with BC styling on ADB’s aesthetics: “They got me battling one of the niggas from Pretty Ricky”; Amazin goes after BC’s Pennsylvania roots and personal dealings: “Take your girl around the world, show her tricks like a Globetrotter”. It’s all bananas and crowd pleasers throughout, but BC edged it with more consistently nicer bars and a stronger overall performance.

Verdict: Bill Collector (W) OT

Favorite line: Bill Collector – “Sick of these noodles, get to your Google, ask Michael Vick what’s a pit to a poodle?”

Dizaster defeats Real Deal

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Recap: Gotta go with the judges on this one as after the two split the first two rounds, a slightly more consistently spicy Dizaster edges the deciding (and less raucous) 3rd round over Real Deal in what was a pretty blazing, personal-centric, freestyle-spazzing opus when the Diz and Real Deal rapped without a beat during the first couple of rounds.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Dizaster – “Muthafucka…you look like a Budweiser truck driver!”

Shotty Horroh defeats Dizaster

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Recap: Even with Shotty Horroh having the advantage of using written rhymes as opposed to Dizaster who freestyled the whole way (not sure how or why that happened), Diz uses his adept off-the-dome skills and wily personals/punches to keep things entertaining and close throughout this 3-round battle. But Shotty’s ability to score with fervent breakdowns/imitations, a wide range of Muslim jokes and righteous personals/punchlines/mayhem that for the most part hit, ended up being too much for Diz in the end.

Verdict: Shotty Horroh (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotty Horroh – “You don’t practice what you preach…you practice preaching!”

Dirtbag Dan defeats Real Deal

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Recap: Two rounds ‘acapella’ and one round over a beat for this Grind Time tournament battle which a more punchline-heavy and overall witty Dirtbag Dan wins upon taking both the 2nd and 3rd rounds after Real Deal took the opener.

Verdict: Dirtbag Dan (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Dirtbag Dan – “Your baby’s mom is a linebacker, for a big girl that bitch is a fine tackler!”

Jonny Storm defeats Dizaster

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Recap: Granted, one too many eyebrow jokes from Jonny Storm in this Grind Time battle versus Dizaster. But with Diz choking away his 3rd round to go along with a sharper lyrically, equally potent with the personals and more versatile showing that included a classic and flawless, rapping-over-a-beat performance from Jonny in the final round, after two debatable rounds (which certainly defies the comments section, but whatever), Storm gets this one in the end.

Verdict: Jonny Storm (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Jonny Storm – “You just mad you got the same eyebrows as the dad from American Pie!”

Real Deal defeats Mo Dirdee

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Recap: Even with the two battlers splitting the first couple of rounds, this Grind Time 3-rounder between a brazen and punch-lit Real Deal and a street shit talking and gritty Mo Dirdee in Detroit wasn’t that competiive as clear decision’s in each round amounted to a much more hard-hitting RD taking the 1st and 3rd’s for the win.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “How you Dirdee [dirty] and you washed up?!”

Jaz the Rapper defeats K. Prophet

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Synopsis: Good battle. Had it even after two, but while K-Prophet put forth a sizzling last round, in the end Jaz’s 3rd had more variety including a nice little rebuttal, witty bars (“get rid of K so y’all could really say I’m ill”) and even doper personals to edge it.

Verdict: Jaz the Rapper (W) 2-1

Best line: K Prophet – “You a lame with a Gina head”

B. Magic defeats Scripts

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Recap: B-Magic uses rapid (“blind porn star, you don’t know who you fucking with”) punchlines, witty wordplay, jokes (“I will beat the F word outta this piece of S word”) and a couple of haymakers to take out Scripts, who while definitely representing (that “beat him the fuck up that’s what I do to a rookie, fist fuck your pregnant girl and give your kid a noogie” line was extra mean and the Middle East scheme was short and sweet), just didn’t have enough artillery to win a round here.

Verdict: B-Magic (W) 3-0

Favorite line: B-Magic – “Beat your face till I need Scripts for the wrist pain”

Charron defeats Diaz

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Recap: Charron retires as a 5-time ‘Rap City’ freestyle champion, out-punching a solid, but not-as-potent Diaz for 1 round to earn the prize.

Verdict: Charron (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Charron – “I’ll turn your Spanish mother to my Latin lover!”

Chilla Jones defeats Gatman Jones

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Recap: In a battle of the Joneses’ with (allegedly) no written’s allowed, it’s Chilla’s more cohesive flow and benign bars/schemes that easily take out a mostly disinterested Gatman.

Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Chilla Jones –  “The day you put a pause to my motion, that’ll be the day we drive cars in the ocean!”

Jai defeats K-Holla

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Recap: A more versatile Jai, with some nice flips, witty bars, righteous gun lines and potent punches, takes the 1st couple of rounds and the win here against K-Holla, who unfortunately waited till the last round to bring his A-game.

Verdict: Jai (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Jai – “Riding with that rubber grip, you would think I came with a tire, shoot the Tek and bullets to connect like cocaine suppliers!”

Charron defeats White Fang

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Recap: Another ‘Rap City’ 1-round freestyle battle for Charron and this one was a tight one as opponent White Fang impressed with a pretty dope flow while integrating the show’s freestyle words with relative ease. But while Charron wasn’t as steady as his opponent was delivery wise, the champ made up for that with harder-hitting substance to his punches and a couple of nice personals to edge the bout in the end.

Verdict: Charron (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Charron – “Hey yo, watch man, Youtube views, why am I battling Shaggy from ‘Scooby-Doo’?!”

Dizaster and Caustic [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Similar styles, similar wit and similar intensity in this Grind Time battle between Caustic and Dizaste, which sees them both go equally at it with the meanest personals, hip freestyles, race (Caustic: “I am whiter than the flag’s you use to surrender!”) jokes and fierce braggadocio bars. A two-round battle that should’ve easily been a 3, when considering the level of talent, with a share of haymakers and off-the-dome one-liners mixed in by each battler, each round was pretty even.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Dizaster -“You’re a redneck, that gets nervous whenever he’s not near…a cold can of tall bear!”

Pat Stay defeats Arsonal da Rebel

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Synopsis: How hurt was Arsonal by not being allowed to deliver his usual 10-minute rounds? Judging from his taking off his sweater in round 3, he was ready to fight. Of course, when somebody gets out of character during a battle rap that could also be a sign of them knowing that they’re losing. Granted, da Rebel put up a decent fight and came out the gate swinging (the “10 Ways to kill a Canadian” scheme was nice, but could’ve been so much better), but as seen here too much filler: “I keep 2 dessert eagles cocked on the dashboard of your dream car”, doesn’t bode well against the likes of Pat Stay whose steady and pointed (as in breaking down Arsonal’s gangsta image) jokes, personals and flat-out bars left da Rebel whining.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1

Favorite line:  Pat Stay – “His mom’s is a Crip too, it all started when me and the click slid through, she was on her red rag so the bitch just blew [blew]”)

Rich Dolarz defeats Yung Ill

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Recap: In one of the early “One-Off”‘s from Smack/URL, a steadily aggressive and oft-jocular Yung Ill snapping on Rich Dolarz’s “stanky, Yankee cap” is the most memorable moment of this battle. But besides getting edged in the 2nd round, this battle was all Dolarz, who when he wasn’t going random with shots at Aye Verb and Tech-9, proved to be way more consistently nice with his punchlines, personals, steely wordplay/schemes and pointed gun bars in the 1st and 3rd rounds. It also needs to be said that for all their competitive bravado throughout this match, the underlying humor within this battle doesn’t get enough credit.

Verdict: Rich Dolarz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rich Dolarz – “You soft, but you be acting hard tho, a St. Louis nigga that reminds me of Nelly…Furtado!”

Charron defeats Gibs

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Recap: Rap City freestyle battle sees Gibs hang in there and bring some steady, if not a bit cautious, off-the-dome heat. But for the champion Charron (aka ‘That Kid Charron’) what with the ability to incorporate the given freestyle words more effectively in his raps, while punching at a more scorching rate, it’s another win.

Verdict: Charron (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Charron – “Unbelievable is the rhymes that I said, unbelievable is how your girlfriend describes me in bed!”

Charron defeats I Deezy

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Recap: In yet another display of his fierce off-the-dome acumen, Charron makes the judges decision a no-brainer after easily out-punching an overwhelmed I Deezy in this 1-round freestyle battle from Rap City.

Verdict: Charron (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Charron – “I’m a son you like Peter did to Corey Gunz!”

Tay Roc defeats Young Kannon

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Synopsis: Roc takes the last two rounds to edge this one from the always energetic Young Kannon.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “And don’t speak bad ’bout my city, you ain’t never been through The Wire, you Kanye before the crash”

Tenchoo defeats Big Kannon

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Recap: If going into a battle you know that you’re pretty much going to work to death one angle, then make sure they’re at least 90% good as Tenchoo does here, spazzing on Big Kannon with repeated fat (“I heard this cunt did a jumping jack once and his lung collapsed”) jokes that pretty much killed throughout this battle. In a match that also saw some dope (BK: “See, that Nutty Professor shit proves that he ain’t slick as he pretend, ‘cuz Sherman Klump is a pimp, remember he got Jada Pinkett at the end”) rebuttals from both dudes, it’s Tenchoo’s jocular resiliency (along with his delivery) that got him the first couple of rounds and the win.

Verdict: Tenchoo (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tenchoo – “Every time this idiot cries, chicken grease drips from his eyes”

Charron defeats Junia-T

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Recap: Charron takes his talents to BET’s “Rap City” program and shows off his exquisite freestyle game against challenger Junia-T, offering up a more deft and more condensed use of the required 3 words in his raps to earn the win and move onto the next round of the show’s ‘Freestyle Battle Week’.

Verdict: Charron (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Charron – “Everyone knows I’m clever and fresh ‘cuz I drop it hot like a Mexican chef!”

Cocky defeats Nuborn

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Synopsis: Cocky must’ve realized right away that his easy, laidback style and reserved wordplay wouldn’t work in front of a New York crowd that prefers aggressive bars and loud gun talk, because I don’t think he’s been back on URL since this appearance. Still, a win nonetheless for the Fresh coast as Nuburn’s bars couldn’t keep up with the Food Chain (RIP Tall T) leader’s rapid punchlines.

Verdict: Cocky (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cocky – “I’ll put 2 in this man, and make RIP shirts for all 2 of his fans”

Dizaster defeats QP

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Recap: I have no idea how serious a battle this was. QP mentioned it being his 3rd battle that day, it’s only a one-rounder and it turned into a virtual PSA against DNA near the end. Still, combined with a couple of stumbles by QP, Dziaster spazzes on his opponent with enough psychedelic (“Psychological warfare, yunno I was obviously gonna go there, it’s something me and the Illuminati both share”) wordplay, crazy personals and a hilarious/dead-on Soul Khan impression to take first prize.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 1-0

Favorite line: QP – “Krack City don’t get a mention now, why’s this?, and how come the only black in your circle is your eyelids?!”

Tay Roc defeats P.G Skillet

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Recap: A battle that’s always in those “Most Awkward Moments In Battle Rap” videos due to Tay Roc nearly vomiting in round 1, this Blood on the Shoes bout versus P.G. Skillet still made for a competitive and intense matchup due to Skillet and Roc’s noted Maryland roots. That said, despite being under the weather and dealing with a lot of hardbody punches/personals from Skillet, Roc gets the edge here, taking both the 2nd and 3rd rounds thanks in part to a wide load of pedestrian bars from his opponent, but also displaying better consistency when it came to spicy punchlines, some fierce name flips, boastful stunting and plenty of flexing gun bars.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “He lightweight so I ain’t have to prepare a lot, how you cooking Tay when a skillet ain’t how you prepare a Roc [rock]!”

AR-16 defeats Amzilla

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Synopsis: Nice to see AR-16 at least TRY to combine his wicked freestyle ability with a decent pen game. Hell, maybe if he did so more often he could catch more bodies as he does here against a guy who has no problem admitting that he mixes period juice with his Henny.

Verdict: AR-16 (W) 3-0

Favorite line: AR-16 – “You look like you got that hat from Sears”

John John da Don defeats Lotta Zay (REMATCH)

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Synopsis: John John was spitting some mad heat (nice rock metal scheme early on) till he choked in that 2nd round (tho the Hollow da Don impression was pretty tight). But he more then made up for his choke in round 3 to easily take this rematch.

Verdict: John John da Don (W) 2-1

Best line: John John – “When I smack ya ass it’s not for good sportsmanship”

Charron defeats Mista Conspiracy

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Recap: Two rounds only and not Charron at his freestyling best, but still enough spicy punches from the kid from Ottawa, Canada to beat a mostly subpar Mista Conspiracy in this battle from KOTD.

Verdict: Charron (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Charron – “Don’t blame your lack of rhythm on your Asperger’s Syndrome!”

Ty Law defeats J-Law

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Recap: In a battle of the Law’s, it’s Ty who scores the easy 3-0 with more consistent punchlines and redeeming (“Call ya dad, your pop he a snitch king, Apple Bottoms run in ya family, you got them bitch genes [jeans]!”) your family personals and against a clearly overmatched J-Law. While not a body, till take away a judge’s cred for anyone who dared called this battle ‘close’ or asked for an OT.

Verdict: Ty Law (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ty Law – “We all know he ain’t the real law like mall cops!”

Cortez defeats Thesaurus

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Synopsis: No disrespect to The Saurus, a pioneer and true legend of battle rap. But this was no contest as Cortez’s bag of personals, aggressive bars and standout delivery would not deny him the victory.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0

Best line: TheSaurus – “Are you Asian?, they said you were openly in love with math”

Ms. Fit defeats Imah X

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Recap: Snapping on her opponent with rich combo of scathing personals, witty barbs and raucous name flips/punchlines, even with a solid effort from a bar-heavy Imah X, in this 3-rounder from Grind Time, Ms. Fit’s versatile, hardbody rhymes are stacked with too much bite for her opponent to have had a chance.

Verdict: Ms. Fit (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ms. Fit – “You faker than my dick and Lil Kim’s entire face!”

Fowl defeats DNA

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Recap: Wow. Well, that’s something you don’t see every day as DNA literally walks off and quits this 2010 EmSee freestyle battle vs. Fowl after the Detroit crowd clearly wasn’t feeling his ‘8 Mile’ impression in the 2nd round of a two-round battle. This after a debatable round 1 where DNA overall spat the better bars, but Fowl tied it with a worthier performance and slightly better personals.

Verdict: Fowl (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Fowl – “You look like Young Jeezy son that went to the retarded class!”

JC defeats Young Zell

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Recap: It’s a lay-up for JC as his two rounds of fiery braggadocio lines, stinging punchlines/personals and all-out mayhem way out-do Young Zell’s rapidly pedestrian bars.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-0

Favorite line: JC – “I hold that Heat better than ‘Bron wearing over mitts!”

Heartless defeats Big Kannon

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Synopsis: Of course, there’s plenty irony in Heartless using so many fat jokes on his opponent, but here against a simply loud Big Kannon, the wisecracks and punchlines clearly outweighed the routine bars. By the way this battle should also be noted for birthing the “Slow-It-Down”.

Verdict: Heartless (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Heartless – “…and his flow is killin’ me, yes nigga I’m talking to U…..P.S he has NO delivery!”

Brixx Belvedere defeats John John Da Don

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Recap: Dope, competitive 1-rounder from Grind Time between Brixx Belvedere and John John Da Don sees JJDD display some versatility by changing his flow up midway through his turn to dish some fast-rapping techniques when he wasn’t spouting fiery punchlines, cocksure boasts and piercing personals with his normal delivery. But a pretty solid effort from JJDD would be topped by the consistently clever wordplay from Brixx, the S.O.N.S. rapper spitting a gang of well-played punchlines, spicy schemes, braggadocios raps and pointed personals with a nuanced flow/performance and nary any filler to gain the win.

Verdict: Brixx Belvedere (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Brixx Belvedere – “So we on the same page, nigga you could catch a bullet scar, straight off the Ave, I ain’t street, I’m Boulevard!”

Aye Verb defeats Big Will

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Recap: A motivated Aye Verb manages to get by the ever competitive Big Will (yeah that “Fuck non-violence we can fight, ‘cuz after I hit you with these prejudice lefts, you gonna be begging for some civil rights!” line was fire) with more versatility, better (“I got paid and you didn’t, so technically this a fundraiser that you threw”) creativity. jokes and punchlines.

Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Ave Verb – “I holla at his baby boo like…man he ain’t got no baby boo!”

E-Hart defeats Ms. Hustle

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Synopsis: Unlike, say women’s basketball, female battle rappers have long proven that they can put on just as good a show, and/or competition, as their male counterparts. That’s more than the case here as Ms. Hustle and E-Hart go toe-to-toe during all 3 rounds in what was Smack/URL’s 1st ever female battle. I got Hustle taking round 1 as her stage presence, performance and bars were so wicked and raw (“I wouldn’t fuck her with Wendy Williams dick”) that early on E-Hart didn’t stand much of a chance. However, thanks in part to Hustle’s obsession with wanting to battle QB, Hart came back and edged round 2 by staying consistent and continuing to style on Hustle’s realness, alleged promiscuity and money in the bank. The 3rd was classic, with Hustle telling joke after hilarious joke on Hart’s livelihood, but an elongated round and a brief stumble gave Hart a chance for the dub, which she took with ample jokes (“stop it you’ll never be poppin’, you Babs Bunny”) along with lethal personals to win it on points.

Verdict: E-Hart (W) 2-1

Best line: Ms. Hustle – “I’m Ms. Hustle, they know I push that white so they get it from me, so her real reason for coming here wasn’t to battle, it was to see if her crackhead ass could get a sample or get it for free, ‘No Bitch, 25 for 3!'”

E-Hart defeats Trice

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Recap: E-Hart successfully displays that she’s not your ‘average bitch’, dishing a scathing mix of brash (“It’s too easy I’m murdering every thing ’round here, no disrespect but next time I might have to come at the king ’round here”) punchlines and fiery (“Lyrically, she Muggsy Bogues trying to get at Mike”) bars to take the first couple of rounds here easy versus a struggling Trice. And while Trice was jokingly (“You look like a spokesman for Newports, you got that bogie look”) on her way to salvaging the last round, a trio of visits from Earl ended up giving Hart the 3-0.

Verdict: E-Hart (W) 3-0

Favorite line: E-Hart – “The only way you gonna win tonight, is if everybody that watch the shit hit the pipe!”

Jaz the Rapper defeats Skye

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Synopsis: No contest here as Jaz the Rapper body’s Skye with a hailstorm of wicked bars, jokes, name flips and personals. Indeed, with a corpse this big, one can only hope Skye’s plan B singing career is still on the upkeep.

Verdict: Jaz the Rapper (W) 3-0

Best line: Jaz the Rapper – “QB killed you, but you back so I’m guessing it’s that time again, well I’mma give Skye another L make it feel it’s Harlem back in ’99 again”

Big Kannon defeats Aak

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Recap: 3 rounds plus OT freestyle battle on KOTDC sees the brash and often witty snaps from Aak keep him in the game. But a smoother-flowing and more consistent Big Kannon, also nice with the flips and more versatile with the punchlines, gives BK the win.

Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 3-1

Favorite line: Big Kannon – “He won the coin toss and that’ll be the last time he getting head!”

Prophit defeats Millenium L’s

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Recap. Rare is the battle that’s decided by who was worse, but that’s the case here as both Prophit and Millennium L’s prove the old adage of ‘saying a lot, but not talking nothing’ can certainly be true. Whether it’s Millennium L’s lame (“44’s in hand, I’m a serial killer nigga I’m coming for the gold and grams”) rhymes and weak jokes or Prophit’s lukewarm (“And I ain’t come here to start with you, but you need to save that grilling shit for a barbeque”; “See I spit swell, so sick I never get well”) bars, it’s a wonder neither of these guys ever battled again on Smack. And while Prophit’s usage of ‘N’ word is what this battle will be remembered for, save for round 1 Millenium L’s wordplay and bar quotient was so underwhelming that Prophit’s ability to spout a couple of nice bars and make it through his latter rounds without choking got him the win.

Verdict: Prophit (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Millenium L’s – “In my hood they drive by [pow!] ‘move hater!’, in hi shood it’s like [phhheeeww] ‘Honey it’s the newspaper'”

K-Shine defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: K-Shine puts together three consistent rounds of rapid heat, addressing Shotgun Suge’s issues with weight, flinging gun (“Call that .40 Lil Kim, it’s a wig rocker!”) bars with random ease and zipping up his opponent’s attacks with stinging (“…try to make a little movie like his career was pumping, but still ain’t get nowhere, he Gravy, playing BIG for nuthin'”) schemes, jokes and heavy wordplay. Credit Suge for staying close (“I’m from the South, I’m ’bout that, I’mma put on a show, keep playing the barrels is long nigga, Beef?, I come to this battle shooting everybody, even the wrong niggas”) the first couple of rounds, talking that real shit with an aggressive flow and Jersey anecdotes, but a somewhat surprising choke midway through his 3rd round cost him any chance of taking this one.

Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1

Favorite line: K-Shine – “He think he Big Meech! Larry Hoover! He holding heat! But he’s not the shooter”

B. Magic defeats SK

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Recap: Entertaining battle to say the least with SK delivering steady (“Probably got shirts and shit with other niggas bitches and names on ’em and they ain’t dead or famous, just got other niggas bitches and names on ’em”) jokes, while B Magic brought rapid punchlines and winning name flips. SK did well, but overall Magic’s more consistent flow and execution gets him the win.

Verdict: B Magic (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B Magic – “Took your bitch overseas, but wait it gets scarier, we fucked her on the plane, she was cummin’ [Coming] to America”

Dizaster defeats Sensa

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Recap: As loud, boisterous, personals and able to pull off some off-the-dome heat as his opponent, UK rapper Sensa makes Dizaster’s Don’t Flop debut a competitive one. But Diz’s penchant for adding humor to his overexcited mix along with a flair for more buoyant anecdotes/personals, spicy rebuttals and head-ringing punchlines/mayhem, gives him both of the opening rounds before a debatable 3rd.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’ll fucking take your bitch and bust semen on her reading glasses!”

DNA defeats Gage

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Recap: Despite consistently aggressive rhyme styles from both, DNA versus New Haven, CT rapper Gage, outside of DNA’s 2nd round, fails to impress. For Gage, a frenetic delivery of okey-doke (“This nigga take dick in his ass, he like Raz B!”) personals and righteous gun diction, is too often followed up by simplistic lines that failed to land. Yet, bar-wise, DNA didn’t (“Stick my dick in his girl’s pussy, she’ll be screaming ‘owww!’ like Max B.”) differentiate himself much from his opponent, but was versatile enough and scored (“Ask Gage if he got beef and he like ‘nah, my taco’s finished!'”) more with his punches to edge the round. Round two saw DNA step it up with a steady mix of sizzling personals and earnest street chatter, while Gage stayed congruent with some nice schemes that unfortunately, were overshadowed by more plain (“I got 9 lives, I’m a cat, you a kitten, when there’s beef in the club he don’t bang. he just keep sitting”) speak. Gage easily managed to save face in round three, delivering feelgood (“Y’all Grind Time niggas is fags, you get your dayton on, you claim you getting bread, but you can’t even keep your cable on!”) personals, nice schemes and hitting punchlines with ease, while DNA, probably feeling confident that he already won the battle, pretty much gave up the round with a weak opening rebuttal and more ordinary bars that you wouldn’t associate with the likes of the up-n-coming Queens battler.

Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1

Favorite line: DNA – “His chick like margarine, we like everything but her [butter]”

Squeeze defeats Ill Will

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Recap: Mostly free-styling throughout this battle with a couple of nice rebuttals mixed in, a gritty Ill Will still manages to keep it close in this 3-rounder from Mic Murdaraz TV. But opponent Squeeze, spouting a fly punchline game while also dishing some fierce name flips and personals here and ther, takes the first two rounds before a debatable 3rd, for the win.

Verdict: Squeeze (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Squeeze –  “I’m the type to boo you at ya show when you get your concert on, oh you a jackboy why?, ‘cuz that palm work strong?!”

Soul Khan defeats J. Fox

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Synopsis: This was unfair, a mismatch from jump with Soul Khan fierce punchlines, potent personals and witty flair totally overwhelming an out-of-his-league J. Fox. Not that it didn’t help any that J. Fox wasn’t just trying to rap on another coast, but against a crowd favorite (who knows how to play to the hometown fans) with pedestrian bars, schemes and personals that would’ve fallen flat no matter where this battle took place.

Verdict: Soul Khan (W) 3-0

Best line: Soul Khan – “After this his chick’s gonna go back to soul’s sack, because you the only dude to make a chick go black then go back”

Swave Sevah defeats O-Red

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Recap: The one battle O-Red probably wishes he could wipe off his resume as he not only gets out-barred by opponent Swave Sevah throughout the match, but he rather embarassingly chokes in both the 1st and 3rd rounds. Swave, continually bullish and on top of his game from round 1, also does an excellent job here of playing to the crowd, all the while using a gang of stifling personals, fire breakdowns and hard-hitting punchlines to dig up what was ultimately a body.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “The bitch type, see, in beef I make nigga’s bleed and leave scars, in beef you wait till nigga’s leave and key cars!”

Instant classic: “There’s no crying in the URL” (from female fan in crowd)