Over 4,000 Recaps!

Mister Greco

Battle rap enthusiast living in Timbuktu

Conceited defeats Illmaculate

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Synopsis: “And another thing that got me real pissed about you, your nickname’s Ill but besides your health there’s nothing sick about you!”, “Since this battle’s for cheese it’s gonna be Easy Mac”, “When the scope is on it’s like Pokeman, I’ll peek at you and blast toys!”….literally raining down punchline after punchline on an earnest Illmaculate, a fully loaded Conceited catches a body on the Fresh coast and doesn’t leave fingerprints.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 3-0

Best line: Conceited – “Once I let all the guns and the clips blow, for the first time y’all gonna see a Mac running through Windows”

DNA defeats Lil Farnum

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Recap: One proposed rule for judged battles: don’t use battle rappers, use random experts outside the ring instead. Yeah, obviously having been in the ring themselves, battle rappers can bring a high level amount of expertise to determining a winner. But as Okwerdz (who amazingly enough already had Lil Farnum edging each of the first 3 rounds) shows here, battle rappers also, even if unintended, bring their own share of biases/style preferences as there’s no way in hell Okwerdz can say that DNA didn’t bring personals to his OT round when just playing the tape shows he did. Either way, in yet another Grind Time battle that shouldn’t have been brought to OT in the first place (I got a more versatile DNA winning 2-1 before the OT), it’s still a more witty, personal and less predictable DNA who got robbed.

Verdict: DNA (3-1) w/ OT

Favorite line: DNA – “Your mom’s caught my dick in CPU, it’s always where your mother board!”

Iron Solomon defeats Shirt ‘N Tie

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Synopsis: First of all, I love barbershop battles! Secondly, WTF happened to Shirt ‘N Tie? For being a Jay-Z clone what with that moniker alone he should’ve had a longer career in rap. Third, this is Iron Solomon at his best: a mix of bars, freestyles, aggression, rebuttals all the while funny as hell.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 3-0

Best line: Iron Solomon – “You coming weak as fuck on this rap shit, so maybe you’d be better off sweeping up some giraffe shit, and you can tell his career ain’t about shit, because I seen his last DVD and he’s wearing the same outfit”

Aye Verb and Hollow da Don [TIE]

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Recap: Classic matchup between Aye Verb and Hollow da Don in St. Louis, sees a more direct Verb go at a somewhat coy and less versatile Hollow with aggressive punches and hardbody personals to take the 1st round, before Hollow returns the favor with a fire, condensed turn that featured a couple of nice rebuttals and (“You just about as real as them two glass rocks in your ear!”) freestyles along with adventurous set-ups and stinging punchlines that combined to beat back a less stirring turn by Verb. With only two rounds, call this one a tie.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Aye Verb – “You wouldn’t Murder Inc. Hollow, you couldn’t kill an instrumental!”

Iron Solomon defeats Flamez

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Recap: Arguably the first battle rapper to go through an entire match with his shirt off, Flamez real writtens (most of his bars anyway) are still no match for Iron Solomon’s freestyles, personals and all out zealotry.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “And we met outside the Virgin mega store, which is ironic because his wife is a non virgin mega whore”

Math Hoffa defeats Iron Solomon

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Recap: Math Hoffa got this one over with early, using fierce bully (“I could get Iron snatched just for trying Math, have him like a skinny white girl, can’t find his ass”) bars, rich punchlines and too-funny (“I said ‘Iron I got that butta. what’s crackin’?’, he said ‘I’m more of a Parkay guy, it’s less fattening”) jokes/schemes in the first couple of rounds to take out what he not only predicted in Iron’s repeated use of name flips, but recycled/substandard bars that more often than not didn’t match Solomon’s aggression. Thus, by the time Iron found his groove (“He looking at me like white boys can’t jump, till I step off the bench and light ya ass up!”/I’m an upcoming pump, you the worst kind of whore, that gets fucked once and quits ‘cuz your vagina sore!”) in a round 3, it was too late.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I got a thing for your sister, you outta notice, she the first white girl that I smashed, we met at Lotus, she took the kid raw so I could spray on her faster, I felt like caviar the way I came on a cracker [cracka]”

Hitman Holla and Rich Dolarz [TIE]

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Recap: From the same Street Status card that featured Aye Verb vs. Hollow da Don for two rounds, a more gritty and mayhem/punch-lit (“Y’all got the best room at the Hilton going against a Motel 6?!”) Hitman Holla takes round 1, before a more nuanced and brazen Rich Dolarz took the 2nd to make this battle a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Rich Dolarz – “St. Louis how could he win?, I mean Chingy hotter than him!”

Iron Solomon defeats Madness

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Recap: Madness shows he can go toe-to-toe with Iron Solomon….for one around anyway, before Solomon bodies him in a heap of nice rebuttals, fresh (“Florida’s idea of lyricism is Trick Daddy!”) quoteables, funny personals and all-out haymakers.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “You ain’t white, you just caught too many nuts in your face”

Iron Solomon defeats Jin

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Synopsis: Don’t let all the haters in the crowd fool you, because Jin’s round one was pretty nice (and he had some decent rebuttals throughout too). However, this wasn’t about how good Iron was (I think even he’d admit that overall this wasn’t his best performance, tho the Canibus line in rd. 2 was hot), so much as it was about Jin losing steam so fast that you almost got the feeling he wasn’t inspired. For that alone, it was pretty easy for Iron to edge the former champion.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1

Best line: Jin – “The real Solomon was a king, this clown seems more of a diva, so after I make you my bitch you could call yourself the Queen of Sheba”

Iron Solomon defeats G. Sizzle

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Recap: Street battles are where Iron Solomon made his name from and his on-the-spot/rebuttal game was always superb as G. Sizzle more than finds out here. Close in the 2nd (G. Sizzle: “I carry more weight than a white boy with a hiking bag”) round, but clearly outclassing his opponent in the 1st and 3rd, this “Cracker Jew” showed early on that he was nothing to be played with.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “You just mad ‘cuz your girl’s address ends in dot.com”

Charron defeats Sandman

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Recap: Even early on in his battle rap career Charron was displaying a dope freestyle game, mixing up a gang of nifty off-the-dome heaters–here in his KOTD debut against a very pedestrian Sandman (who didn’t matters by tossing that shirt at Charron in round 1)–with agile punchlines, spicy rebuttals and witty personals to score an easy 30.

Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charron – “Siamese prostitutes wouldn’t give two fucks about you!”

Real Deal defeats Ex-l

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Recap: No contest here as Real Deal’s fresh combo of zany impressions, stifling punchlines and witty/mocking personals combine to easily take down the mostly subpar raps from Ex-l in this 3-rounder from Grind Time.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real Deal – “All that judging battles that you do, you think you’d know how to win one!”

Dizaster defeats Surgeon General

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Recap: Surgeon General’s aggressive and at times witty personals gets him off to a hot start here against Dizaster, but halfway through his choice to lean on more lyrical darts hurts in the end as the General’s oft-pedestrian bars in both the 3rd and 4th rounds allows Diz’s already bodacious (“You threaten kids on the Net, but you never end up scrapping, the punchlines are like your punches in real life…they both never happen!”) rants and other eccentric boasts/punches to easily take the latter rounds for the win.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-1

Favorite line: Surgeon General – “I saw you in the car you’re in, you and Illmaculate battle look like Bert and Ernie arguing!”

Hollow da Don defeats Illmaculate

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Part 2
Synopsis: From Grind Time, a classic 3rd round by a punch/personal-lit Hollow Da Don that featured a crazy Hulkamania impression gets the Queens, NY battler the win. But let it be noted that Illmac practically gave it up this battle with some wack freestyling after edging round 1.

Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-1

Best line: Hollow da Don – “So why you wanna battle a street nigga?, stick to the computer thugs, cuz you come thru the hood, I’ll smack you down, pat you down…then roof your drugs!”

Cortez defeats Soul Khan

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Overtime

Synopsis: Honestly, I had Soul Khan edging this one after 3 rounds with better jokes, rebuttals and punchlines versus Cortez’s aggressive bars and wordplay. But Tez got the OT from the judges and combined with SK stopping early, easily took advantage, clearly showing that you can never go wrong with being more prepared than your opponent.

Verdict: Cortez (W) OT

Best line: Soul Khan – “That was a garbage-ass round, he was spitting pitifully, I’m G. Dep? [well] Your chick hit me up for a special delivery”

PH defeats Dizaster

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Recap: An OT battle just because the fans requested it?!? Well, that’s Grind Time for ya. Still, thank goodness PH (who I thought edged it in regulation, 2-1) came prepared for the extra round, continuing to deliver stinging (“Eyebrow hair so fucking think, one raised eyebrow could raise roofs”) jokes, personals and punchlines to beat out Dizaster’s constant aggression, but inconsistent execution, storytelling bars and wordplay.

Verdict: PH (W) OT

Favorite line: PH – “I seen cyclones and tornadoes destroy everything in they path, you’re more like a handheld fan, a silent fart out a fat bitch’s ass”

DNA defeats AKA

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Recap: Some nice punchlines and rebuttals by AKA throughout this match, but a more consistent and punch/scheme-heavy DNA takes this Grind Time battle that yet again had no business going to OT.

Verdict: DNA (W) 3-1 w/ OT

Favorite line: DNA – “His job told him Take Five, this dickhead went and played the Lotto!”

Swave Sevah defeats Jay Focus

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Recap: Arguably the first Christian battle rapper, a very pedestrian and flow-challenged Jay Focus’ attempts to not curse did garner some laughs. That and Swave Sevah’s repeated mockery of his opponent’s more subdued raps along to go along with a mean punch game earns the Harlem battler an easy 3-0.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “I ain’t playing no games, this beat go in, if this was a game, whoever using me put a G-code in!”

Mike Flamez defeats Young Gattas

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Recap: Mike Flamez uses a variety of hard-hitting personals and piercing punchlines over the course of 3 rounds to easily beat back a mostly pedestrian and subpar free-styling Young Gattas in this matchup from Grind Time.

Verdict: Mike Flamez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Mike Flamez – “Better tell ya girlfriend to throw in the towel, I got a different strap-on I’ll throw in her mouth!”

Okwerdz defeats Arsonal

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Synopsis: Never was much of a fan of Okwerdz, esp. with his often lame, loud, straightforward, simple wordplay and play to the home crowd semantics. But his signature stylings worked here, what with enough personals (remember this is early Arsonal, Fight Klub champ), “you recycle bars” mentions and “Fresh coast” hysterics to edge him a win here. Clearly too, Arsonal not only didn’t fully prepare for this battle (too much filler, not enough punches), but he clearly underestimated his opponent and the time limits (which are like kryptonite to da Rebel) definitely worked in Okwerdz favor as well. 

Verdict: Okwerdz (W) 2-1

Best line: Arsonal – “I’ll finger all 3 of her holes, she a bowling ball”

Loaded Lux defeats J Biz

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Round 2

Recap: Jersey’s J Biz puts up a decent (“Take you’re head off on camera like Taliban”) challenge, but Loaded Lux’s hard body rhymes and braggadocio (“You”ll melt trying to get to this belt, Casper couldn’t go through me”) bars are too much to handle in this two-rounder from BET’s Freestyle Friday.

Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “It’s all great till Lux sweep in, then they sweating like Michael Jackson at a Boys Club meeting!”

Real Deal defeats Complex

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Recap: From Grind Time, a close 3-rounder with plenty of sardonic personals on both sides. But with neither battler lighting up the scoreboard consistently, it’s still a harder punching and more versatile Real Deal who takes each round for the win over Complex.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real Deal – “See, homie, why do you hate being white, be a man and tell me, you on black people’s dick so much I’m a call you Lisa Lampanelli!”

DNA defeats Prophit

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Synopsis: A teenage DNA comes off a little bit raw and unpolished, but still spits enough shiners to land an easy win over Prophit as he makes his debut appearance on Grind Time.

Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0

Favorite line: DNA – “This nigga pussy, he wouldn’t grill cheese”

Arsonal defeats Rich Dolarz

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Part 2 Part 3  

Synopsis: A battle that deserves a rematch if only because I think both Richie and Arsonal would agree that they could put on a lot better show now compared to this early Sub Zero matchup. Filled with way too much filler, lame lines, not enough hot bars and a crowd that was clearly there to see Rich take out a body, Arsonal only won because Rich was that bad.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1

Best line: Arsonal – “I’m the only rapper selling swag on Ebay”

Young Gattas defeats Sara Kana

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Recap: Grind Time at its absolute worst here as despite a versatile Young Gattas doing everything, whether it was spitfire personals, hardbody punchlines, witty puns or alluring Espanol heat, to wreck havoc on a very pedestrian Sara Kana, this battle still went to an OT round that won’t be shown here due to the sheer ridiculousness of it all. SMH.

Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young Gattas – “And I know she ain’t getting pussy, why?, ‘cuz you burn calories while having sex!”

Daylyt defeats Passwurdz

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Recap: More condensed and performance-heavy in rounds 1 and 3 with some fire quotables, witty barbs and rugged wordplay mixed in, Daylyt edges a mayhem-dishing and personal/name-flip spazzing, but a little less versatile and a little less intricate Passwurdz in this competitive 3-rounder from Grind Time.

Verdict: Daylyt (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Daylyt – “I X box cats, his boys will get a Halo 2!:

Hollow da Don defeats Amzilla

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Recap: A judged battle with $2K on the line sees Hollow da Don use an aggressive template of gritty punchlines, gripping personals and a few dope rebuttals to easily beat a pretty substandard Amzilla.

Verdict: Hollow da Dow (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “Nigga heard Jeezy tracks, talking about you go through blocks…I’m like nigga please, you sold two rocks!”

Pat Stay defeats Bartone

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Recap: Pat Stay’s 1st appearance on KOTD is a scintillating one as the Nova Scotia, Canada rapper uses a boisterous mix of mean personals, wild jokes and raucous schemes to easily beat back a mostly oft-killer Bartone.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “He’s so skinny when he burps it hurts him!”

Pat Stay defeats Cronic

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Recap: A ‘Sucka-free’ Pat Stay uses a wide load of piercing fat jokes, brutal sexual deviant barbs, boastful shiners and other hardbody punchlines/personals to easily take this Elements League 3-rounder from a started-off-nice, but incredibly waning as the battle went on Cronic.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “If I’m a pedophile then you’re a necrophiliac because I heard your girl’s a dead fuck!”

Locksmith defeats Dizaster

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Recap: Grind Time battle between Dizaser and Locksmith contains a boatload of over-the-top personals, raucous jokes and frenzied punchlines from both battlers. But while his opponent kept it close for a couple of rounds, a more consistent Locksmith would still edge the first two rounds before a 3rd round choke from Diz gave Lock the 30.

Verdict: Locksmith (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Locksmith – “Every time I call Sprint, I gotta talk to one of your cousin’s in Istanbul!”

Swave Sevah defeats Imaredo

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Recap: Three shortened, but highly efficient turns from Swave Sevah, filled with plenty of wit and hardbody punches gets the win over a mostly pedestrian Imaredo in this 3-rounder from Grind Time New York battle.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “No lie, this nigga is so skinny he could look through a peephole with both eyes!”

Arsonal defeats Holly Hood

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Synopsis: Versus the underwhelming Holly Hood, this wasn’t a fair fight. Other than that it’s only worth watching to peep Arsonal for the first time on the URL stage.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 3-0

Best line: Arsonal – “I’m a promethazine Sprite nigga, he’s a Michelob Light sipper”

Cortez defeats Yung Sheen

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Recap: Despite coming in as a last-minute replacement for Lotta Zay, a confident Cortez spits three fire rounds like he had this battle scheduled for a week. Still, Yung Sheen hung in there, edging the second round with some aggressive storytelling (“Your bitch in my Crusader, don’t worry I know you saw here, you something like the b-ball gear, nigga’s a Starter”) bars and keen wordplay, after Cortez easily took the first with more potent (“I’m Conceited with an ego bigger than Shaq’s shadow”) lines and more versatility. Last round is close, but Cortez takes it with some iller personals, on-point set-ups and fiery punchlines.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “My niggas will jump Superman, ask Nate Robinson!”

Young Gattas defeats Alex Ludovico

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Recap: Hey, if you’re going to get 3-0’d in a battle at the very least keep the crowd entertained as Alex Ludovico, a last-minute for whoever, does here against Young Gattas, using thrifty freestyles/personals and fully transparent humor to make it through the battle in one piece, while a consistently spicy with the punches Gattas handily takes each round for the win on Grind Time.

Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young Gattas – “You couldn’t bless a track even if you had Kirk Franklin on the ad-lib!”

Amzilla defeats DNA

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Part 2/OT

Synopsis: Intriguing to say the least as one gets to see this Grind Time Tryouts battle featuring an early DNA (along with some of your other favorite battle rappers) looking to get on and build his resume. Good battle and since I agree with Cortez on what defines Overtime rules, it gives me no problem going with Amzilla on the win since he spit the hottest line (“I’ll hit you with an uppercut [looks up] DNA done got stuck on the ceiling”) in the extra round.

Verdict: Amzilla (W) OT

Favorite line: Amzilla – “I heard they call you DNA because you couldn’t spell chromosome”

Philly Swain and K-Shine [TIE]

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Recap: Philly Swain versus K-Shine for two rounds up in Harlem on Loaded Lux’s Lions Den stage is a barnburner as Swain’s boisterous punches, witty wordplay and righteous (“Certified Wiseguy, I’m the Godfather!”) similes make work (esp. in round 1 which Philly edged), while Shine’s gritty darts, heated gun bars and braggadocio raps are enough to edge round 2 and make this one a tie.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: K-Shine – “All that tough talk, till I run up on nigga’s, with the .40 poking out the bag like Malt liquor!”

Conceited defeats Tall T

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Synopsis: Tall T (R.I.P.) was always nice, but unfortunately not much comp here against an early Conceited who was clearly at the top of his game, delivering sizzling punchline (“bullets like the letter ‘V’, they coming after ‘U'”) after punchline (“cops wanna handcuff him, stick him in jail, even if I was a SIM card I wouldn’t sit in a cell”) with virtual ease, while putting on a show for a hype crowd that made you forget that Conceited was the road guy.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 2-0

Best line: Tall T – “You talk about it, we actually shoot, dome shots make him do the Chicken Noodle soup! And when comes to pussy, you don’t know what to do, you put yo condom on and balls in it Too!!

Real Deal defeats Fresco

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Recap: Grind Time judges got it all right here as capped by a dope ‘Leave Britney Alone!’ impression, Real Deal’s gang of mocking personals, sizzling punchlines and gay innuendos combined to score a 30 on a mostly pedestrian and overmatched Fresco.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real Deal – “Chicago is not your city, it’s your favorilte musical!”

Charlie Clips defeats Tay Roc

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Synopsis: Not much more can be said about this battle that hasn’t already been spoken. A battle that put Clips on the map and literally gave him “legend” status all the way through to his battle with A-Verb a few years later on URL. As for Tay-Roc, compared to the high-caliber version of Roc that we see now, the version we see here just seemed happy to be there (tho his 1st and 3rd rounds weren’t that bad), which killed the B-more legend’s rep until he’d later take it all out on Kaboom in that famous OT round on the Lion’s Den later down the road. Other than that, peep Clips just dropping fire punch after punch while roasting on Roc for 3 rounds as well as Teyana Taylor in the audience for your added viewing pleasure.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0

Best line: Charlie Clips – “See the reason I go crazy and I be blacking it out, is because my grandmother said, ‘If you lose to this Tay Rock nigga, don’t bring yo ass back in my house'”, What, can you picture me losing for that good-ass cooking? For my grandmom’s I do time in that hood ass booking, he wanna fight I throw a left then a good-ass hook and, have him like, ‘woop-woop!’, you know, when you used to get that good-ass whooping”

Z.M. defeats Swave Sevah

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OT

Synopsis: Swave got off to a hot start (“You might have a chance at winning if this was a pie-eating contest”), but lost momentum in the latter rounds leading to an OT that he clearly wasn’t prepared for.

Verdict: Yung ZM (W) OT

Favorite line: Yung Z.M. – “Bitch, you so dark it look like you stood outside for two summers…”

Arsonal defeats Hollow da Don

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Synopsis: Da Rebel at his best: loud, aggressive, cocky, disrespectful and a few Hulkamania leg drops to finish off Hollow da Don and get the 3-count. Really, did Hollow just underestimate Arsonal or was he just unprepared? Perhaps both. Because that stunned look da Don got on his face throughout this battle reminds me of the same look Tay Roc had against Charlie Clips. Why this battle even went to overtime served as just another reason why Fight Klub had to go–tho unfair to Arsonal, it did give him a reputation for recycling bars when it should’ve never went to OT in the first place

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 4-0

Best line: Arsonal – “Last week I saw your rap sheet, you had one charge…wandering”

Arsonal da Rebel defeats RemyD

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Recap: Showing that he takes no mercy on out-of-town spitters, Arsonal goes ham and spazzes on RemyD’s midwest flow and significant others throughout this tournament battle from Fight Klub. In order to finish the kill and leave no witnesses the coup-de-grace comes when da Rebel decides that even the kids can not be spared: “I’ll kidnap your child, shove a bomb down his throat and blow that little muthafukka into several slices!” It’s a wrap.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Arsonal – “Your bitch, she a fiend, but she the queen of the deep throat, that bitch will suck the fucking motor off a speed boat”

Cortez defeats Mosh Jelton

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Recap: Grind Time East Coast battle between Cortez and Mosh Jelton is entertaining all the way through with plenty of witty barbs/4-bar setups, racial jokes and piercing punchlines. But after the two split the first two rounds, a more consistently spicy, lit with the personals and adept with his ability to predict some of his opponent’s lines Cortez pulls this one out at the end.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “I gave him a pack to flip, he snorted like the half the shit, the other half he gave to David Blaine for a magic trick!”

Dizaster defeats Everybody Knows

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Synopsis: An Asian battle rapper versus an Arab battle rapper, so what you’d expect besides a lot of ethnic jokes and racialist wordplay? And after witnessing this battle, let’s just say Dizaster would make for a much better xenophobe.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “How dare Harold challenge me to a rhyme battle? This is the thanks I get for taking this faggot to White Castle”

Hollow da Don defeats Yung Ill

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Recap: Yung Ill with the heated gun lines and some nice set-ups. Hollow da Don with the fiery punchlines and witty barbs. However, it’s a nice rebuttal by Hollow in the deciding 3rd round that makes the majority of the difference here in this Fight Klub battle.

Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “This nigga have to be a bitch ‘cuz he sweet like Sara Lee!”

Illmaculate defeats Dizaster

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Recap: More intricate with his schemes and more gripping with his personals, but also helped by a steadier flow and some witty bars, in this 3 rounds plus OT battle from Grind Time Illmaculate takes the 1st, 2nd and 4th rounds from the always aggressive and very solid, but not quite as consistent here Dizaster.

Verdict: Illmaculate (W) 3-1

Favorite line: Illmaculate – “Dude is getting mad hyped but you sound stupid and you cram rhymes, only thing natural about Dizaster is losing my a landslide!”

Vokab defeats Dizaster

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Recap: The dancing-while-rapping thing still kind of leaves you scratching ya head. But against the raucous, yet in this case pretty mediocre raps of Dizaster, opponent VoKab scores with enough hairy jokes and earnest punches to get the win in this 2-round freestyle battle from Tourettes Without Regrets.

Verdict: VoKab (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “I was trying to stare him in his eyes, but I got lost in his eyebrows!”

Aye Verb defeats SB

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Recap: Classic battle between Aye Verb (visiting NY to battle for the first time) and SB (a last-minute replacement for Head Ice) on a cold night on the streets of Harlem with Murda Mook hosting. While SB kicks a plethora of braggadocio rhymes, until his preeminent (“I’ll strap a bomb to your waist and make you in your crib and blow it up”) 3rd round, most of his bars are pretty standard stuff. On the other hand, with a host of animated gun bars, heated (“Catch this nigga at the check cashing, snatch his chain and give it back to him, tell him I just was practicing!”) personals and dope punchlines, a confident Verb not only does St. Louis proud, but kicks off what would be the beginning of the infamous Midwest movement into Smack/URL.

Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Aye Verb – “Shots point-blank range…BANG!!! he fucked….his soul flying, I’m still firing, even his guardian angels duck!”

J. Ka$h defeats Soul Khan

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Synopsis: Honestly, considering he was a last-minute replacement (tho granted he had a too short 2nd round) I don’t think J. Ka$h did that bad here (just needs to work on his versatility and delivery, but the wordplay, metaphors and bars was there) and that combined with a Soul Khan clearly not at his best…..I had to edge this one to Ka$h.

Verdict: J. Ka$h (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Soul Khan – “And the funny thing is your chick is huger than Pun, fuck a dimepiece that chick is a mutual fund”

Young Gattas defeats Unorthodox Phrases

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Recap: In this Grind Time matchup, Unorthodox Phrases’ ‘flat-chested…MapQuest’ line, while fire, certainly wasn’t too awesome to overcome some struggles with his flow, redundant gay jokes for 3 rounds and finally an aggressive and brazen Young Gattas clearly out-punching U.P. in round 1 or using a spicy rebuttal to edge round 3 for the win as well.

Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Young Gattas – “Bitch, I keep more .16s than a fucking child rapist!”

Pat Stay defeats Critical

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Recap: Did those judges really need to think about this one or were they just playing for the cameras? Had to be the latter as Pat Stay’s hard-hitting punches, stinging personals and boastful barbs clearly beat an over-matched and flow-challenged Critical in this 3-roudner from Elements League.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Straight-up, if I was you right now I’d just say I’m finished, unless you looking to get eaten up [8 up] like R. Kelly’s age limit!”

Dizaster defeats Reverse Live

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Recap: Grind Time used to have so many battles go into overtime that one can’t help but wonder how many battle rappers would bring 4 rounds with them instead of the standard 3. That said, here’s another GT battle that had no business going into OT, as a more consistently potent, aggressive and witty Dizaster clearly took the 1st and 3rd rounds versus Reverse Live before going OT and landing one more haymaker to take the final round too.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-1

Favorite line: Dizaster – “I hate when rappers come down here acting so damn hard, you look like Roseanne Barr swallowed a whole damn car!”

Real Deal defeats Tut

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Recap: Yet another Grind Time battle that went to OT (at least two of the 5 judges had the guts to make the right call) when it didn’t have to as a witty, personal-savvy and off-the-dome spicy Real Deal clearly out-punched his topsy-turvy opponent Tut in the 1st and 3rd rounds (call the 2nd round debatable) for the win.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “Hey, you need to do away with these project dreams and go back to being on the Jamaican bobsled team!”

Swave Sevah defeats Chuck Black

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Recap: While Chuck Black came through with 3 solid, witty at times and gun bar-spazzing turns, in this Grind Time East battle versus Swave Sevah, the Harlem-nite’s rugged punches, mocking personals and boastful stunting were enough to take both of the opening rounds, before a debatable 3rd.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “See, you talk like you a wild cowboy, but where at?, Brokeback Mountain?!”

Serius Jones defeats Moonface

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Recap: Jersey vs. Jersey sees longtime vet Moonface give Serius Jones a run for the money in this epic Fight Klub battle. Jones has some lapses throughout the battle, but is able to pull it out in overtime with wicked freestyles/bars on Moonface’s Montell Jordan lookalike homie and his opponent only buying out the bar “when he go to the gay club”.

Verdict: Serius Jones (W) OT

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “You was an ugly baby, so your mom’s used to ignore you!”

Soul Khan defeats Rhapsodist

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Synopsis: The judge on the phone summed it up best as Soul Khan sets a precedent with another easy win over Rhapsodist.

Verdict: Soul Khan (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Soul Khan – “I know I’m Jewish but we can work this out, I’m the Fiddler on the Roof of your girlfriend’s mouth”

Real Deal defeats A Shaw

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Recap: Against a mediocre punching and free-styling A Shaw, Real Deal has an easy time of it, using a gang of piercing punchlines, witty/rigid personals, fierce name flips and even a dope 2nd round rebuttal to score a 3-0 in this 3-rounder from Grind Time.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real Deal – “I make moves across the country, he’s stuck in Indy…nobody wants to listen to a tree-hugging hippie!”

Hollow da Don defeats Philly Swain

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Synopsis: Good battle, but frustrating to see a vet like Swain talk over Hollow’s bars like that. Always nice to see Hollow’s rebuttals, but Swain’s “It’s Dad” scheme was pretty nice and funny too. Overall, way more punches, bars and freestyles from Hollow to get him the win.

Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 3-1

Best line: Hollow da Don – “Naw I aint no wrestling dude, that k come out, chest chop, that’s a wrestling move”

Kay M defeats Cortez

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Part 2

   

Synopsis: Probably the lowlight of Cortez’s battle career. Against the then-106 & Park Freestyle champ, Cortez uses aggressive bars and nice punchlines to ably take the lead on a weak and very rusty Kay M. However, just when he’s on his way to an easy win, he slips up bad in the 3rd round and forces O.T. After another weak round from Kay M, Cortez start off nicely, but this time he doesn’t just slip-up, he chokes, giving his opponent a win he clearly didn’t deserve.

Verdict: Kay M (W) OT

Favorite line: Cortez – “His nickname’s Weezy, head game’s crazy, he licks the lollipop, he loves kissing babies”