No Bias. No Narratives.
Mister Greco Recap: Dishing left and right with rapid personals/braggadocio bars when he wasn’t doing fine impressions of fellow battle rappers and gripping heaters with so much reckless abandon that even innocent grandmother’s had to heed notice, Yung Holla easily beats back the mostly pedestrian bars of Grim in this 2-rounder from Word War 8.
Verdict: Yung Holla (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Yung Holla – “Broke ass nigga…you couldn’t splurge at Family Dollar!”
Recap: With plenty of $$$ on the line, Yung Holla uses righteous gun bars and deft personals to easily take the first couple of rounds, before literally gaining the kill on a very average Birdie with a spirited C-word acumen that solidified an adept vocabulary.
Verdict: Yung Holla (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Yung Holla – “On the way here, his homie like ‘My dude got flow, we expecting him to lose, but it’s a good look tho!'”
Recap: DJ Vlad’s brief escapades hosting battle rap sees a spirited (“You here now, but your father was wrong, you an accident, you should’ve been a drink for your mom”) Jay Focus and a punchline-heavy Cortez (which according to Cortez, someone in the crowd just happened to record on their flip phone) go at it in a heated two-rounder (any battle host should know better than to have anything but odd number rounds, but whatever). After the two split the first couple of rounds it’s a good thing that the judges decided on OT which allows Tez to spit storytelling bars and expound on hitiin’ Jay’s girl with the “Dougie Fresh”, edging the round and taking the win.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “Your broad I fucked her and made [gestures to someone in the crowd] him tape it last night”
Recap: Philly vets Reed Dollaz and Kaboom trade hard, mayhem-ridden bars, heated punchlines and some recycled darts in this gritty and aggressive 2-rounder that a more scheme-heavy, condensed, less predictable and consistently visceral Reed edges here.
Verdict: Reed Dollaz (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Reed Dollaz – “Crushed the game, fitted in some Nike’s on, you play South street, stiletto’s and some tights on!”
Recap: Overwhelming his opponent in this 3-round bout from the Elements League in both stature and bar efficiency, Pat Stay doesn’t hold back with the righteous rancor, using a gang of flippant personals, penis jokes, boastful barbs, rich storytelling lines and rudimentary punchlines to score a bodybag on an opponent, Jesse Ito, who when he wasn’t choking away his 2nd round, couldn’t ring up a single haymaker with his bag of subpar lines during the entire battle.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Me vs. you?, that’s a no-brainer like a lobotomy patient!”
Recap: Scribble Jam 2007 contest finds the more crispier, personal-savvy and freestyle adept Real Deal scoring a win for Pittsburgh over HalfBlown.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Ladies and Gentleman, what the fuck happened to Brian Grant?!”
Recap: Opponent Taz rhymes well and delivers some solid punchlines here and there. But a Dizaster on Beast-mode with steady aggression backed by consistently hardcore punches, raucous boasts and enough stereotypical Indian jokes to make Pocahontas happy was too much to beat in this highly energetic 2-rounder.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’ll clap the lead up, I’ll shoot the pipe, the doctor’s will wrap his head up like his future wife!”
Recap: Boastful barbs and thrifty punchlines rule this outdoor 3-round battle between Kid Chaos and Prime Time that the more consistently hitting and punch-heavier Chais wins by taking each of the opening rounds before Prime Time comes back with a stronger 3rd to avoid the shutout.
Verdict: Kid Chaos (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kid Chaos – “Your rhymes wack like the Bankhead bounce!”
Recap: $100 on the line for this 3-round street battle between The Saurus and Iron Solomon and outside of a subpar 2nd round from The Saurus, it’s a goodie as both battlers get busy with the fiery punchlines and gusty freestyles. However, before the punch-heavier The Saurus took the final round, a slightly cleaner, condensed and more consistently spicy/versatile Iron wins this one by taking both rounds 1 and 2.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “Named himself TheSaurus, but needed a dictionary to spell it right!”
Recap: Loaded Lux flexes for two rounds here, going ham on an over-matched Mike Louch with righteous punchlines that all land, before taking his opponent down for the 3-count with a haymaker of an ‘NYPD’ bar to decisively settle the bout.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “I’m the champ chump, your girl the only one I let hit me below the belt!”
Recap: Mid-00’s street battle featuring an early Iron Solomon shows you Iron’s acumen in tearing opponents apart as well as how far British rappers (Mic Assassin definitely should’ve came with some writtens) have progressed lyrically over the years. Funny how they had to move to 3 different spots to get this one-sided battle over with.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 4-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “This is what Guerilla Black would look like if he was still on crack”
Recap: Some footage from Math Hoffa’s early battle days in Fight Klub against Benjamin Benz. Obviously unable to judge the whole battle, but it’s public knowledge that Math’s only loss in Fight Klub was to Serius Jones and who knows if FK will ever release the entire battle. Nonetheless, it was a win for Math.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W)
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I done put more work in on the streets than surgeons on Lil’ Kim’s grill”
Recap: Math’s renowned sense of humor is on full display here against Nemz. Can’t judge the whole battle as you only get the 3rd round and Sudden Death OT here, but nonetheless Math still got the win in this judged battle.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W)
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Little bitch, little bitch, by now all your hope is gone, niggas wouldn’t sign you if you was a cast on a broken arm”
Recap: Close 1-rounder between Passwurdz and Elfamail from the 2005 Scribble Jam Prelims features witty punches and flow spicy off-the-dome heat from the both battlers. However, it’s the slightly more consistently lit Passwurdz who edges the win here.
Verdict: Passwurdz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “Fuck that shit, you look like a crack pipe smoked you!”
Recap: Able to score more with incendiary personals over aggressive boasts, Dizaster survives a 1st round deficit to a more condensed and punch-heavy I-Dub and comes back to take the latter two rounds from his way more pedestrian opponent to win this ObieOne 3-rounder in L.A.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “He’s sucking so much dick, he’s growing muscles on his lips!”
Recap: A ‘swagger juice dripping’ Loaded Lux dishes more then enough gritty punchlines to easily beat back a pedestrian and slip-up prone Precise in this Freestyle Friday match from BET.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Jealous mind, never rhyme, Don King had haircuts with better lines!”
Recap: From Scribble Jam 2005, while he may be a little guilty of using some of the same set-ups to his punches during battles, that still doesn’t take away from Iron Solomon’s hardbody wit, his rebuttal game or his freestyle ability as seen here once again in this one-sided 1-rounder against a very subpar Elfamail.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “If you the Alpha, then I’m the Beta Kappa, punch your sister in the mouth then date her after!”
Recap: From Scribble Jam 2005, while neither Passwurdz or Johnny Quest were on their A-game, it’s a more steadily flowing and crispy punching Passwurdz who ends up edging this 1-rounder.
Verdict: Passwurdz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “Your goatee looks like an old woman’s vagina bush!”
Recap: While they both could freestyle, Presence’s subpar and sometimes nonsensical raps are no match for Iron Solomon’s hitting name flips, witty personals and piercing schemes/punchlines in this one-sided Scribble Tour 2005 Prelim battle.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “You look like a crackhead version of Bruce Willis!”
Recap: Took the crowd from this I Suppose Productions freestyle battle a minute to decide on going an extra 3rd round, but either way Dizaster had this one in the bag already, out-punching a pretty pedestrian Nocando in the opening rounds, before getting even more spicier/personal in the 3rd to complete the 3-0.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “Nocando, you stay wack, that’s a new hair color, we call it gray black!”
Recap: The difference between going first might’ve played a part in this 2-round freestyle battle between Dizaster and Dumbfounded as the host ruled beforehand that Diz would start off round 1 before the two switched turns in round 2. So after a filler prone and a bit flow-challenged Dizaster gets easily beaten back by a punch-heavier DF to open things up, Diz returns the exact same verdict in round 2, thus making this one a tie.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’m an Arabian terrorist because I always bomb your mom’s pussy!”
Synopsis: Instead of the Lux vs. Mook rematch, it’s these two who I’d love to see square off again. That’s how close this legendary battle is, as Serius Jones and Mook showcase not only their tremendous talent, but their serious (no pun intended) dislike for each other. Jones’ first round is classic: storytelling, personals (“Your government name is Johnathan Ancrum/He went to Fordham Prep Catholic, that’s a private school”) and righteous snaps. But Mook brings it right back with aggressive bars, hilarious anecdotes (“Smack called me [while] I was getting some head, [said] we got a victim and it might involve you getting some bread…”) and noted Harlem swag (backed up by the entire 116th block that he apparently brought with him). The fun continues in round two as the two rappers continue to spit dope lines (Mook: “He probably ain’t wanna battle, just wanted to meet me in person”) while showcasing their competitive fab at times by finishing off each other rhymes. The last round has Serius continuing to go hard while showing off his infamous free-style ability, afterwards Mook continues to air out Serius’ street cred. However, while Serius’ rebuttals, nasty bars (“If you wanna get his bitch to run a train, just get her a sandwich from Subway and a Metrocard”) and off-the dome barbs are straight sick, it’s Mook’s closing “dot” scheme that will live on in infamy. I got the 1st round as a tie, Mook edging the 2nd and Serius taking the 3rd. All told, a classic battle.
Verdict: Serius Jones and Murda Mook (TIE)
Best line: Murda Mook – “We got barrels so long, you see ’em you pledge allegiance” AND Serius Jones – “Talking about coke?! The last time this nigga’ shaved an onion he was in his kitchen on Thanksgiving making stuffing”
Recap: Even an average Hollow da Don has enough is his tank to take out Young Cyph’s mostly lame written’s in this 2-round Friday Freestyle Battle from BET.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “You a funny dude, what the Chronic do?, forget 106, take him to Comic View!”
Recap: Nymesys goes one-topic with street yarns that were at times (“When ya riding around town in the drop, man the ladies love you, now ya bitches like ya chain, I’ll pop her and take her from you!”) …fire. But a little too much filler and a more (“When guns pop, this nigga jeting, he’ll turn his New Balances’ into old equilibrium’s!”) versatile X-Factor gives the Michigan cat this one.
Verdict: X-Factor (W) 1-0
Favorite line: X-Factor – “You a nice joke and he must be a welder, shit, that’s the only time he let his pipe smoke. Is he nice? No. But he smoke weed and he a fag so I guess this nigga might blow!”
Recap: Lotta Zay had some nice (“I’m the nicest on the set and I’m like Mike Epps, I’mma be here Friday After Next!”) written’s in round 1 of this Freestyle Friday Battle from BET, but Hollow’s buttery freestyle (“He couldn’t afford a shirt, so her recycled his long john!”) game edges it. Round two sees Zay’s attempts to freestyle fail miserably, leaving the way for Hollow to elicit more crazy off-the-dome bars and garner an easy win.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “Speaking of feet, yeah them shoes quite cool, I’m 22 and I had those in high school!”
Synopsis: Hell hath no fury like a rapper scorned. After all, part of what makes battle rap great is the pure tension in the air along with sheer machismo on display, especially when you put together two emcees who have a history of not liking each other personally. But still, the idea of the wrong word (or phrase) being said at a rap battle leading to all bets being called off and a fight erupting, is a whole ‘nother story and never good for the sport. Yet, in this case, what with Hoffa just getting flat-out disrespected after he allegedly warned Dose beforehand not to go there….well, sometimes a man’s gotsa do what he gotsa do.
Verdict: J Dose (W) 1-0
Best line: J Dose – “Keep a sawed off like woodshop class, Crook might blast, chrome to ya cranium, *click clack* BOOM! turn this dome to a stadium!”
Instant classic: Hoffa – “I was supposed to battle T-Rex, but he was scared”
Synopsis: Damn, those Philly dudes always like to keep it close. Still, while NH came hard throughout, his lines were no match for Rex’s grittier bars, schemes and slicker wordplay.
Verdict: T-Rex (W0 3-0
Favorite line: T-Rex – “I’m social-anti, I stay to myself, guns, I shot my own shadow I don’t play with myself”
Recap: First posted back in 2006, someone recently put together these 4 rounds of Murda Mook battling Philly’s Joey Jihad. And while one can argue about Mook allegedly recycling bars here or Jihad’s exceptionally rapid flow, even for a battle taking place in the mid-2000’s, where intricacy mattered little, 90% of Joey’s (“I’ll have everybody trying to hit you like the lottery!”) fall in the category of being pretty basic. To be fair, Mook also came with a plethora of pedestrian lines, but his ability to mix in some wit, fiery braggadocio lines, nice performance bars and fiery wordplay/personals throughout his 4 rounds, got him this one…easy.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 4-0
Favorite line: Murda Mook – “Fuck your life, lacing your Jordan’s the only time you touched the Mic [Mike]!”
Recap: After kicking a bunch of light bars and struggling a bit with his flow to get easily beat by Iron Solomon’s aggressive and stinging freestyles/rebuttals in round 1, New MC gets his freestyles together to have a better round 2. However, with the more consistently spicy Solomon still dishing a bunch of hard-hitting personals in the final round of this 2-round Scribble Jam contest, it’s a 20 for the Jewish kid.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “Standing there trying to look all regal, I’m 5-foot-8 and I hate tall people!”
Recap: From an Ohio Scribble Jam, for two rounds Iron Solomon freestyles a gang of witty personals to handily beat back the rapid-flowing, but mostly subpar stylings of Charlie Brown.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “And your eyes are swollen son, give ’em back to whatever goldfish you stole them from!”
Recap: Two-round, mid-2000’s freestyle battle between a very young Passwurdz and Jay B contains a gang of personal disses and speedy lyrical burners to get your feet wet. An energetic and close one that had Jay B doing push-ups in the middle of Passwurdz’s 2nd round, the more punch/off-the-dome lit Passwurdz takes each round here for the win.
Verdict: Passwurdz (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “You look like a little white bitch that just got her hymen split!”
Recap: In what was a mostly one-sided matchup, a young, loud and aggressive Tay Roc spits nothing but mayhem and fiery boastful barbs at a gritty, but ultimately overmatched Skarr in what looks to be a local battle brought to you from Orv BornReady.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-0*
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Slugs like teabags, they hit your mug and sink in!”
Asterisk denotes that Skarr’s 3rd round wasn’t made available in the video.
Recap: From Brainstorm Battle 2004, while not at his best, Iron Solomon still delivers enough aggressive and hard-hitting disses/freestyles/personals to handily get the win over a confident, but clearly overmatched Diabolic.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “I’m about to burn your brain like Kurt Cobain!”
Recap: Two rounds from Scribble Jam 2005 and Iron Solomon kills it, using both witty/stinging punchlines and quickfire freestyles to beat back a rapid, but subpar punching Nocando.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “This is what Kenny Kravitz would look like as a skinny faggot!”
Recap: As seen here Murda Mook’s always been nice with his handle. Breaking down adversaries, spitting fluorescent punchlines, storytelling and burying opponents with a flurry of exquisite bars, Mook’s regimen for delivering bodybags was honed at an early age on the streets of New York…just ask Weeze.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Murda Mook – “I got an Asian bitch, Ms. Chin all I get is face”
Recap: Able to combine slices of wit to his spicy punchlines and boastful barbs over the course of 3 rounds, a gritty Michael Wayne is able to beat back a young, disrespectful and aggressive, but mostly pedestrian Tay Roc in what looks to be a local battle from Baltimore.
Verdict: Michael Wayne (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Michael Wayne – “He 16?, I got a bullet for every year in his life!”
Recap: Judged battle between Detroit’s Young Miles and Philly’s Eddie Morris sees another one of those unnecessary overtime rounds from pre-Smack battle rap days as Miles more versatile bars and gritty street vernacular clearly out-performed Morris’ repetitive bully stylings.
Verdict: Young Miles (W) 3-1
Favorite line: Young Miles – “You like the old Oprah, a big bitch and a lot of talk!”
Recap: After splitting the first couple of rounds here with Dee, an explosive, hard-hitting 3rd by Loaded Lux convinces everyone including the judges to go home.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “The bottom of your AC, nigga that’s the only fan base [fanbase] you’ll ever have!”
Recap: In this 2004 ‘Battle for Midwest Supremacy’ Iron Solomon easily comes out on top, the NYC battler using a bunch of belitting freestyles and piercing rebuttals/punchlines to handily beat the off-the-dome, but subpar lines from Okwerdz.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “I’ll take you to your own state and throw you off the Golden Gate!”
Recap: Dirtbag Dan and Passwurdz go at it for a couple of rounds, freestyling over beats and competitively dishing a bunch of spirited punches, sardonic personals, aggressive lyrical banter and in Dan’s case a spicy 2nd round rebuttal that helped him take that round after getting edged in the 1st.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “Your beard looks like a fat woman’s vagina hair!”
Recap: In this 3-round freestyle battle from 2004, both Passwurdz (who incredibly was in his mid-teens at the time) and The Saurus show off the ability to effectively punch and speed rap, all the while keeping their flows intact and mixing in some solid off-the-dome personals to punctuate their rhymes. A goodie when you consider the oft-middling turns of early 2000’s battle rap, an overall stronger punching The Saurus edges each round for the win.
Verdict: The Saurus (W) 3-0
Favorite line: The Saurus – “This kid barely graduated kindergarten!”
Recap: Both Loaded Lux and Cash unload with gritty and boastful (no abundance of gun bars here) rhymes in this 3-rounder that shined a light on Lux’s early battle career. Cash hangs in there during round 1 with enough spicy bars to edge the opener. But afterwards, it’s pretty much all Lux as the Harlem vet spazzes with a gang of piercing punchlines that combined with some nifty wordplay, easily gets him the latter two rounds.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “I learned from the elders how to keep old bread guess I was molded right!”
Recap: Damn, they sure did jump around in stage a lot back in the day. Still, despite a couple of witty barbs from his opponent Franco, a way more versatile and personal/punch-heavy Passwurdz easily takes this 2003 freestyle 2-rounder.
Verdict: Passwurdz (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “Hey, I got your album for free but I still want a refund!”
Recap: Classic overtime battle between Iron Solomon and Immortal Technique that happened on the spot after Technique demanded to face the winner (Solomon) of the EOW tournament they both just participated in that day, but with Immortal feeling that he got robbed. Right off the bat, however, you knew this one was a wrap, what with the normally lyrically adept Technique struggling to maintain his flow in the OT round, that is when he wasn’t kicking a bunch of pedestrian raps in both English and Spanish. And even tho he was taking on a battle rap legend, Solomon wasn’t phased one bit. The bespectacled rapper going right at his opponent’s head with fiery diss after diss to get the crowd lit and more importantly earn the win.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “C’mon Technique, everything you say corny, only time you get 5 mics is in a gay orgy!”
Recap: Classic in-studio battle from 2002 between street battle rap legend Jae Millz and a young up-n-comer from the BX named Goodz (over a variety of beats) sees the latter hold his own for 4 of the 5 rounds here, edging rounds 1 and 3 with a quality assortment of boastful punches and slick/witty barbs. But the ever-ready Millz, armed with a battery pack of raps that makes him so prolific with the lines, edges this one, all the while dropping thoro punchlines with dismissive flair when he wasn’t spouting a gang of graphic/gripping schemes, gritty street semantics and stunted similes/wordplay.
Verdict: Jae Millz (W) 3-2
Favorite line: Jae Millz – “I’m like a basketball coach in love with the 2, 3 dog, you can’t take me out my zone!”
