Verdict: Swamp (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Swamp – “Catch you slipping in the mall or something and let you buy my lady J’s with your military discount!”
Barz Major
Rum Nitty defeats Barz Major
Recap: Surprised, as I write this, that no one has set up Barz Major versus Bankhead yet as the two battlers so similar in skin tone, aggression, flow, screw faces and what have you. That said, Barz gets an ‘A’ for effort here, rapping his heart out and staying competitive with a host unorthodox punchlines, steely name flips and fiery personals/gun lines. But as they say around the water cooler: they’re levels to this shit. And with a condensed Rum Nitty consistently boasting a load of exquisite heaters, jaunty name flips and lofty wordplay throughout this battle, no matter what Barz did here, he stood little chance of success.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Keep playing, get hit with something sharp that’ll lay you flat, what it’s gonna be, Major?!“
Barz Major and Danny Myers [DEBATABLE}
Recap: Dope battle between two of the most energetic battlers in the game, Barz Major and Danny Myers, fittingly ends up in a tie as Danny’s substantive punchlines, fire (“Glock 5, running up on me bitch?, not wise, he tired of eating chicken…but I’m in line [holds out hands like a gun] to pop eye’s [Popeyes]!”) rebuttal game, stinging ‘parallel universe’ entries and piercing personals allowed him to edge round 1, before a debatable 2nd and a 3rd round defeat that while short on length, was still electrifying yet couldn’t equate to the stirring struggle bar themes Major took during his turn. Before his sublime final round, Major kept himself in the mix with a gang of raucous punches, frenzied 4-bar set-ups, righteous gun bars and piercing schemes/personals, a splendid effort that should’ve gotten him some extra shine even if he had lost the battle.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Barz Major – “Everybody wanna be sick till they get shot, better be cool, before ya ass catch something that you can’t pronounce…like mesothelioma!”
Prez Mafia defeats Barz Major
Recap: Even with an up-n-down and energetic Barz Major dishing plenty of mayhem while rapping thrice as long as him, in this 1-rounder from GOTG, Prez Mafia’s more condensed/visceral punches, fire set-ups, sterling performance and toxic personals/gun bars are more than enough to take this one.
Verdict: Prez Mafia (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Prez Mafia – “You ever see a body twitch after the head shot?…yeah, nigga you getting on my last nerve!”
Chef Trez defeats Barz Major
Recap: If this was Chef Trez with one-day preparation, can you imagine what kind of annihilation he would’ve put down if he had…say, a week instead? Dishing witty rebuttals, dope freestyles and steady-as-you-go (“I dare a nigga try to break in my spot, don’t worry I’m loaded, scope beside the bed, i sleep with an eye open!”) haymakers with ease, for a performance-heavy and gun bar drenched, but not always consistent Barz Major, it’s an in-ya-face tutorial on the fact that they’re levels to this shit.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “But niggers be sleeping on me, but that I got a handle on, every round staid and strong, y’all gonna love what I’m whipping up, I’m like the uncle at the cookout with the sandals on!”
Jakkboy Maine defeats Barz Major
Recap: Can’t knock Barz Major’s Michael Jackson impersonation, but other than that too many lackluster bars versus Jakkboy Maine’s consistently stellar (“You did that Shawn Michaels shit and then bodied the pose, do it again, 9 in the win, this M bodied the pose!”) performance bars and steely gun bars/punchlines makes for a complete domination in this one-rounder from Body Bag Battle League.
Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “What you know about remodeling steel, putting this serial over this serial like we looking for bargain deals!”
Skates defeats Barz Major
Recap: With $3k on the line, this should’ve been an easy decision as Barz Major’s attempts at free-styling and witty barbs essentially go nowhere, leaving the way for a more disciplined, bar/scheme-heavy and consistently gritty Skates to leave with a 30.
Verdict: Skates (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Skates – “Them guns in sync [N’Sync], I Swear, you’ll get ’em, All For One!”
