Synopsis: Clearly MR. ET had no idea what he was getting into as his generic bars were no match for Dizaster’s name flips, personals, freestyles and all-around shit-talking.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “You ain’t really hype with the goons, faggot go fly a bike over a moon!”
Synopsis: “And another thing that got me real pissed about you, your nickname’s Ill but besides your health there’s nothing sick about you!”, “Since this battle’s for cheese it’s gonna be Easy Mac”, “When the scope is on it’s like Pokeman, I’ll peek at you and blast toys!”….literally raining down punchline after punchline on an earnest Illmaculate, a fully loaded Conceited catches a body on the Fresh coast and doesn’t leave fingerprints.
Verdict: Conceited (W) 3-0
Best line: Conceited – “Once I let all the guns and the clips blow, for the first time y’all gonna see a Mac running through Windows”
Recap: Even early on in his battle rap career Charron was displaying a dope freestyle game, mixing up a gang of nifty off-the-dome heaters–here in his KOTD debut against a very pedestrian Sandman (who didn’t matters by tossing that shirt at Charron in round 1)–with agile punchlines, spicy rebuttals and witty personals to score an easy 30.
Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charron – “Siamese prostitutes wouldn’t give two fucks about you!”
Recap: Dishing out so much mayhem on a guy who came through at the last minute to battle you probably won’t make you any new friends. But for Cortez, we’re sure that this 3-round Grind Time trashing of a clearly over-matched Jazzy Tech was strictly professional.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “Fools like him only celebrate on April 1st!”
Recap: Giving his opponent Yung Mase the option of either taking an L or going home, Aye Verb flexes his might (and sexual exploits) with a spazz session of boastful punchlines, persistent mayhem and righteous personals that in this one-sided 1-rounder from Street Status, probably had the subpar and overmatched Mase wishing he’d stayed in the crib.
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Aye Verb – “This nigga lie for nuthin’, got his block thinking he a thoro G, when he ain’t shit but a lil ass bitch…girl please!”
Recap: Overwhelming his opponent in this 3-round bout from the Elements League in both stature and bar efficiency, Pat Stay doesn’t hold back with the righteous rancor, using a gang of flippant personals, penis jokes, boastful barbs, rich storytelling lines and rudimentary punchlines to score a bodybag on an opponent, Jesse Ito, who when he wasn’t choking away his 2nd round, couldn’t ring up a single haymaker with his bag of subpar lines during the entire battle.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Me vs. you?, that’s a no-brainer like a lobotomy patient!”
Recap: As seen here Murda Mook’s always been nice with his handle. Breaking down adversaries, spitting fluorescent punchlines, storytelling and burying opponents with a flurry of exquisite bars, Mook’s regimen for delivering bodybags was honed at an early age on the streets of New York…just ask Weeze.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Murda Mook – “I got an Asian bitch, Ms. Chin all I get is face”