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Cadalack Ron

Cadalack Ron defeats Dre Vishiss

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Recap: Lyrically taking advantage of the ‘anything goes’ underlining of battle rap, Cadalack Ron (R.I.P.) goes there time and time again with racist bars on black people (women in particular) when he wasn’t spitting borderline xenophobic, but oft-witty personals and radical punchlines that would make your average redneck proud. Most of the crowd seemed to get it tho and Ron’s opponent, a solid, but slip-up prone Dre Vishiss (who ended up cutting his round short) seemed to take it all in stride. Notwithstanding a few dry spots from Ron, he gets the edge in thsi 1-rounder here for a tighter, longer and more consistent flow.

Verdict: Cadalack Ron (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Cadalack Ron – “I never had a baby mama that wasn’t a looker and I never fucked a black chick [female in crowd: ‘Couldn’t handle it’] that wasn’t a hooker!”

Dizaster defeats Cadillac Ron

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Recap: Not sure what battle the judges who had Cadillac Ron winning were watching, but in this Red Bull Event, 1-round freestyle/word association battle, Dizaster clearly did better when it came to incorporating the words into his raps and even providing some nice punches during his turn as well.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’ll fucking burn this bitch, I never knew they let girls enter the tournament!”

Cadalack Ron defeats Real Deal

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Recap: In this 3-rounder from Voicebox Battles, Cadalack Ron scores an impressive win over Real Deal. Using a plethora of potent hallucinogenic (“I know I’m the worst, if you got some lean in ya cup, pour out a couple of O’s and a purp before you go into church, ‘cuz I don’t care if you put me in a bodybag, just make sure there’s some dope in it first”) bars, roundhouse personals and some pleasing (“And it’s the anniversary of Columbine, so I’mma do like Eric Harris, I’ll leave him with a hollow spine and blame my careless parents!”) wordplay to take all 3 rounds over a veteran opponent whose freestyle (“Stepdad jumped in the scene to play the daddy figure, being brain dead cost you your seat at the House…Gabby Giffords!”) aptitude saved him from getting bodied, this is arguably Ron’s most consistent and best overall showing.

Verdict: Cadalack Ron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Cadalack Ron – “I found her profile on Christian Mingle, it just said the bitch was single, if that pussy was a snare drum…well, let’s just say my dick was Ringo!”