Recap: From Black Mafia Battle League, you can’t fumble the ball on your own battle league, can you? Well, apparently you can as after blitzing opponent Reed Dollaz with a variety of gritty raps in round 1, Calicoe self-destructs on a path of pedestrian bars, slip-ups and other challenges to his flow, leaving a righteous-talking, street bar-lit, personal-scoring and consistently spicy Dollaz with just enough room to edge both of the latter rounds for the win in this 3-rounder.
Verdict: Reed Dollaz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Reed Dollaz – “When these nigga’s gonna grow?, as I think to myself, see we can’t think outside the box ‘cuz we can’t think off the shelf!”
Recap: Does a two-minute or 2:30 time limit per round even benefit Calicoe? A battler known for storytelling bars, righteous darts and expansive build-ups/breakdowns. That’s what I couldn’t help but think as the Detroit spitter continuusly complained about opponent John John Da Don allegedly going over the time limit during this 3-rounder from Bullpen Battle League. Either way, Cal wasn’t beating John John on this day. The Yonkers, NY to ATL vet matching his determination with a consistent display of fire punchlines, some gritty wordplay, rugged name flips, hitting personals and solid schemes to handily get the 30 over a way less efficient and spotty 3 rounds from Cal.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 3-0
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “You only at the table ‘cuz this the one you dying in, you ain’t really living this life you rapping, they only believe it’s real raps ‘cuz you lie with passion!”
Recap: From RBE, in the end whether Goodz pops really is white didn’t matter. The GMB boss, after getting edged in round 1 (thanks in part to a fly freestyle, some astute personals and righteous talking too’s from Calicoe) utlizing a plethora of hard-hitting punchlines, fire braggadocious rhymes, dope personals/schemes, slick money talk and rigid wordplay/name flips to beat back a couple of pretty solid and gritty, but over expansive (when it came to themes) rounds by Cal that gave Goodz both turns for the win.
Verdict: Goodz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Goodz – “These dumb nigga’s be on Spaces for hours arguing for free, if it ain’t about a profit or I ain’t dollar-signing, i ain’t got time for gossip if I can’t monetize it!”
Recap: Calicoe almost never openly admits to losing a battle. But I believe it was last year that he admit on a Twitter Space that he got beat pretty bad to DNA back in the day (yeah, he definitely did). Well now, a near decade after they first battled, it might be time for Cal to take it up a notch and admit that when it comes to this battling shit Mr. Eric St. John just has his number. And while it was nice to see Cal actually compete harder this time around and kick a bunch of solid/gritty lines throughout this rematch, unfortunately for the Landslide capo the results would come out the same as their match as a more hardbody, 4-bar prolific punching and haymaker-landing DNA pitches another shutout.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Favorite line: DNA – “Stock rose, lock load, you gonna get taking this contract…Russell Wilson on the Broncos!”
Recap: Continuing a sizzling run of late that has him swiftly rising up the top tier charts, Eazy The Block Captain uses a gang of witty/hardbody personals, steely life tutorials, gritty storytelling, fiery schemes/trap talk, stifling street barbs and flippant gun bars/punchlines to take both of the latter rounds and get the win in this Summer Madness 12 matchup against Calicoe. The Detroit, Michigan emcee and SM vet showing up with 3 rounds of conversationalist/analytical rhymes that were even more heavy-handed when loaded with abstract darts, nimble gems and piercing personals. But outside of an opening round by Cal equipped with enough haymakers to force a debatable, it would be Eazy’s constant shiners via a barrage of versatile and hard-hitting bars that his opponent simplky couldn’t keep up with that’d allow the Philly battler to continue his blazing win streak.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Why does the gym feel like trap shit?, machine’ s and diet’s in my plan, cuz I put on gloves to lift weights and still found some powder on my hands!”
Recap: Old Midwest (Calicoe) meets up with new Midwest (Fonz) for a dope 1-rounder brought to you from The Rap Committee. And despite a pretty solid (outside some reaches and a few subpar punches here and there) effort from the always punch-crazy Fonz, it’s the Detroit vet, on his A-game throughout with a steady, subline (i.e. classic) and uninterrupted flow of gritty schemes, lyrical posturizing, boastful barbs, steely pontifications and stinging personals who earns the win.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “I’m trying to hit you and then fucked around and hit your man in the head, he got lead astray [led a stray]!”
Recap: An aside, the way Calicoe does running commentary during an opponent’s round is just hilarious to watch. What a showman that guy is. The irony here tho (and what would contribute to Cal’s win) is just how much work Chess would give Cal to play with, especially, as we’ve seen from him plenty of times in the past, what dope freestyle game as the Detroit vet has. After all, do Cal’s ill personals (some off-the-dome, some wriiten) on Chess throwing up during battles hit as much if the Young Gawd didn’t literally throw up again here (and yes, the first round was an automatic L for Chess, because regardless if it was due to too much excitement, nerves or issues with acid reflex, severe issues with your vocals that causes you to leave a battle mid-round and take a handful of minutes to deal with them can only be chalked up to a lack of preparation). Then too, even if Chess didn’t have to leave the stage, as gritty and punch-heavy as he was during the opening round, a few subpar lines/name flips here and there by the Cake Lyfe capo combined with a slightly more condensed, storytelling-lit and scheme/punch/wordplay-spicy Cal would’ve edged the round anyway. Moving on, round 2 would be a clear win for Chess, what with a gang of piercing personals, hitting struggle bars and lucid punches that handily beat a solid, but less haymaker-lit turn from Cal. The deciding 3rd was a close one, but with Chess (who overall was pretty solid here) contributing a slip-up during the round as well as one too many punches that lacked moxie, an ever-confident Cal would use some more off-the dome theatrics and a rich combo of metaphorical bangers, hitting personals, scoring wit and straightforward, but steely vet talk to take the round for the vic.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “He tried check me [Checkmate!], you a hundred pounds with no goons, what you got speed Chess? you getting clocked right after your move!”
Recap: Spouting a rapid-punching and brazen flow that combined with a sterling mix of hard-hitting personals, searing braggadocious 4-bar set-ups, wily name flips and street-laced rhymes that more than flexed their grit, in this URL/Till Death Do Us Part rematch against Calicoe (who won their 1st battle in Jersey), a versatile Tsu Surf delivers 3 rounds of pure, consistent heat to get some payback on his Detroit rival (who besides a stutter-step or two or three in round 3, was pretty solid throughout here, including enough hitting darts to make for a debatable 1st) and continue on what’s been a mind-blowing run since he ‘un-retired’ from battle rap.
Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tsu Surf – “Death is what’s served for you, life is what you make it, Mine’s? ducking slo-mo from agents, the plug still in the back of my mind like The Matrix!”
Recap: A bit of a rocky 3rd cost him a shutout, but against an ever-confident, street-thematic, brazen and overall pretty solid Calicoe (who’s best round was actually the 1st), with a story-gripping, macho-stunting, consistently punch-heavier, witty at times and mayhem-lit Geechi Gotti edges the opening round of this Summer Madness 11 matchup before absolutely ham and delivering one of the illest, haymaker-drenched personal breakdowns of a battle rapper you’ll ever see in round 2 (call that a classic) to own the win.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “Every time a nigga step to you, he step up, Cal, stop livin’ off yo’ daddy name and get yo’ rep up, nigga, you a grown ass man but worryin’ about ain’t nobody respectin’ you, that’s cuz you in yo’ 30s and yo’ daddy still out here protectin’ you!”
Recap: A much-hyped rematch from their 1-rounder on Snoop Dogg’s short-lived battle league some years back, a buildup captivating, ever confident & street-smart, solid-punching, righteous and personal/gun bar-lit Calicoe, assisted by an elongated, too braggadocios and mostly pedestrian-bar (except for round 2 where his opponent’s bar efficiency was at its best) spitting Hitman Holla, delivers enough consistent heat in the 1st and 3rd rounds to get the win in what was at times a pretty lethargic 3-rounder from RBE’s Max Out 2 card.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “If I come with a team of shooters, I am not playing, number one pick don’t give a fuck what the scout saying!”
Recap: Midwest vets with plenty of memorable Summer Madness exploits, Calicoe and Aye Verb, go at it for 3 rounds at SM 2020 and it’s certainly a goodie with plenty of lyrical stunting, boastful barbs and piercing personals to keep it competitive what with Verb peeking through the 1st round before Cal edged the 2nd. The deciding 3rd? Another close one that saw both battlers cook with a wide load of rich similes, braggadocios heat and fiery 4-bar setups, but in the end a way more condensed Calicoe gets the round and the win.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “My stamina ain’t some shit that you wanna stand against, you rambling, my bars consist of with what I’m standing in, nigga, I was 12 when I found out sandwich bags was for sandwiches!”
Recap: There are tough crowds and there was this Philly crowd: intuitive, hanging on every bar, tough and downright mean with nary a thought of letting any wack shit, tag-ins (as T-Top found out in the 3rd round), repetition of bars or dry spots get pass ’em. Indeed, after a dope 1st round that saw Calicoe deliver his unique style of commentary linguistics/real rap shit with some fly personals mixed in towards the end of his turn to only get beat by a more condensed, raucous, gun-heavy, personal-savvy and consistency potent Nu Jerzey Twork, the crowd really these two have it. This despite valiant attempts by Cal and Twork to just rap and put on a show, suddenly they’re booing both battlers for the slightest hiccups, rehashing of lines or filler to the point that Cal would choke away what was looking to be a pretty dope 2nd round (which Twork–who got heckled too–just by getting through his round with a clean turn would edge as well) and in the face of more vexing boo’s freestyle and deliver mixtape bars to get through his 3rd (call this round for Cal as while Twork’s turn was leaning towards being epic, the attempt to tag-in T-Top midway spoiled the momentum and Twork deciding to end the round after seeing Top get clowned on stage hands his opponent the win).
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Y’all think he tough ‘cuz he said he’ll pull my hood off?, c’mon, that’s all?, I’ll be impressed if you live after it, let’s see if you can pull that off!”
Recap: Calicoe versus Bigg K is one of those entertaining, but a bit perplexing battles as well with K going more hard on his punches overall instead of his usual bent towards wit/humor. And Calicoe, while mixing it up a little bit with lit pontification’s, bully bars and lofty metaphors/anecdotes, still went a little overboard on the race angles/themes. Still, a close battle and intense battle throughout, a little too much filler along with Bigg K’s repetition with the heat/punches loses out to a spazzing, (“All my bars about that chopper and how I’m aiming at y’all sight, white boy couldn’t box with me if I agreed to all rights!”) braggadocios and performance-rich turn by Cal in the 2nd before K steps up on the fiery punchlines, stinging wordplay and (“I took penitentiary chance after chance just to get moolah, while you was having underground chicken fights, watching out for intruders!”) flair for street shit with a spitfire 3rd to take that round. So it’s back to the 1st round, a spitfire on both sides and closer round then what’s given credit for, that a slightly more condensed, hardcore and overall more potent with the haymakers Bigg K edges to take this one in the end.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “Two [waves hands like knives opposite Cal’s face] slices, a buck-fifty…he caught the lunch special!”
Recap: Long-anticipated matchup between two of Michigan’s finest, Calicoe and Ill Will, finally goes down…in of all places, a parking lot in New York on RBE. But fortunately, the somewhat sordid setting didn’t get in the way of what was a dope and competitive battle with Calicoe’s aggressive bully bars, elaborate street ethos style of rap and flexing personals going head-to-head with Will’s more punch-heavy, gun-centric, witty and also aggressive flow. Plenty of disses towards each other’s hometown’s also added plenty of fuel to this tension filled battle. More condensed than his opponent throughout the battle, after losing the first round to a more (“Dumb Tech’s, this bitch come easy like drunk sex, .45 still stratching like Funk Flex!”) potent Will, Calicoe comes back with a more cerebral, consistent, (“This nigga ain’t even got no fans, it be my fans that fuck with you when I go missing!”) mocking and bullish round 2 to get the edge there, before also edging the deciding round 3 (after a slow start) with more righteous heat, that along with some surprising wit and an elongated/inconsistent Will, gave Cal the win.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “Let me hear they trying to slide on me, before you know it, ladder dropping out of the chopper, this bitch heroic!”
Recap: Calicoe doesn’t battle often, but when he does he usually puts on a pretty good show. In this case, not so much as after going through of his turn stunting, he struggles a bit with a couple of memory lapses and has to freestyle in order to finish his round. Still, in this one-rounder versus UK rapper Raptor Warhurst, most of Cal’s witty barbs and fiery storytelling lines are more than enough to beat back the (when he wasn’t connecting with some funny performance bars) mostly pedestrian raps of his opponent.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “I’ll slice your neck, put a smile on ya face, nigga!”
Recap: In one of the more disappointing Summer Madness matchup’s of all-time, Brizz Rawsteen versus Calicoe is a case of one fire round (Calicoe’s 1st), Brizz once again going way too long in rounds that were low-lighted by a boatload of filler, pedestrian name flips and personals that mostly fell flat and yet, still having a chance to win this bout at the end of his 3rd thanks in part to Brizz’s comeuppance on (“I can tell you ain’t getting money by the shit that your bitch wear!”; “Tell your dudes scrap or move back, or they gonan get the tek’s [texts] at the same time like Group chat!”) haymakers as well as Cal’s inability to match his conventional aggression with quality bars. That is, until a late (“My price is my price, I don’t bargain with nigga’s, from now on, we can’t eat unless you starve with a nigga!”) surge towards the end of his 3rd earns Cal a debatable…thanks in part to a solid, but once again elongated turn by Brizz. Still, with neither battler consistently bringing their A-game throughout, call this one a draw and move on.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Calicoe – “I’m the type of nigga that’ll front you, give you all the work and you the type that’ll run off and get your sister put on a shirt!”
Recap: Overall an underwhelming battle between Tsu Surf and Calicoe. But more surprisingly Surf, who upon making his first appearance on the hometown UDubb stage disappoints with all-too-short rounds, a handful of reaches and way too many complaints about crowd noise. A sometimes ordinary Calicoe, but still forever comfortable on the Jersey stage, stayed aggressive throughout his three rounds and won rounds one and three with a plethora of rich performance bars and more potent (“Everybody want to be B.I.G. till they in that blue bourbon!”) personals than his opponent. On the other hand while Surf hit here (“…and you the sucka nigga that clearly threw Meech under the bus!”) and there with some dope (“You battled Suge and said you had a show with Rick Ross…When?…Where? Did he know you was there?”) personals, too much elongated set-ups and righteous filler in the end hurt him. Yet Cal, who finessed his rhymes with mostly personals, really laid into Surf with “Why this my fourth battle in Jersey and the first time they seeing you?” Easy money, indeed.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “He the first nigga on Instagram on some ol’ lavish shit and get smacked with the burner for not having shit!”
Recap: You say what you want about Tay Roc’s affinity for gun bars, but the fact is the guy can rap and you don’t become the face of URL/Smack if you weren’t able to dish out so many exquisite bars, much less have so many of your peers feening to battle you. Trust the process. Summer Madness. A battle long in the waiting ever since Roc dissed Calicoe while he was right there on stage, during his tide-turning battle versus Rich Dollarz not too long back. Round one certainly had plenty of replay value what with Roc tossing salacious gun darts and belittling punches/schemes (natch on the turkey/’turducken’ bars) reckless abandon and only being edged by a more versatile, perfectly-executed, (“See, you just talk them gun bars, then rap about how your shotty spit, I talk that Big Cat, Big Meech and Maserati Rick…they call me Calicoe, but it ain’t the first gun I caught a body with!”) cadence-friendly and bar-potent Calicoe. Second round sees an undeterred and even more aggressive Roc still dishing rampant heat, but also mixing it up a bit with some witty (“Now I ain’t gonna say you was skinny-dipping with nigga’s, but in that picture you was skinny-dipping with invisible bitches!”) personals and a nice rebuttal to beat back a solid, but not near as formidable as his 1st round by Calicoe. 3rd and deciding round was another solid turn by both battlers, with Roc changing things up a bit, going more personal than usual while also hitting with some fiery wordplay and dope (“I clap it till it got a temperature, that’s a scary sight, I’mma wind up in a cell, See us [Celsius], ain’t fair in height [Fahrenheit]!”) gun bars/punchlines. On the other hand, Calicoe, while dishing tru-isms on his hustler days, bully (“He on this stage talking like he don’t love to live!”) bars and his opponent’s love for weaponry, hurt himself a bit with redundant themes on Roc joining Dot Mob and a few pedestrian bars that didn’t quite line up with his steady vigor. Thus, give a more consistent Roc the edge at the end.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Smack fuck with me ‘cuz I son these nigga’s…and sign them over to custody!”
Recap: Put aside all the silly antics here, especially on Calicoe’s part, as a poor display of showmanship was made up by the fact that when it came to bars and performance Calicoe actually did really well. First round was pretty much a wash as Pat Stay’s aggressive wordplay and rich (“If you really trapped so much, you wouldn’t open your trap so much!”) personals overmatched what was a pretty ubiquitous round angle-wise from Calicoe. 2nd round saw a more focused Calicoe spit some nice bully bars, step up his performance, deliver some dope punchlines and efficiently mock (“These King of the Dot niggas, they just seem hot, they living like they married to the game, but got on ring pops”) Pat’s intimidation tactics. Surprisingly, for a guy renowned for his pen game, consistency and ability to stay focused, as the battle progressed Pat Stay seemed to get more spent, what with nice bars and witty lines surrounded by (“Even on a rag-you-later, you like Nate Dogg”) reaches and elementary rhymes pulled from 2005 instead of 2015–then too, an overkill on attempting to show just how real he is. Indeed , the “I’m just as real as you are” shenanigans just seemed too forced on Pat’s part, when in the past his mere poise always came off as organic. Last round Calicoe continued to come with it esp. on the personals tip, effectively mocking Pat’s (“You from Canada, you couldn’t make it to the CFL?’) stature, race and battle rap (“But you 6″6′, but that don’t matter cuz you still a big bitch!, I don’t know if you Kurt Angle, William Regal or Rik Smits!”) aura to trounce what was pretty much a wasted round by Pat–more attention on spitting jokes and spouting recreation bars than anything direct at his opponent. All said while many will watch this battle and solely base their decision on Calicoe’s tomfoolery, at the end of the day once you’re in the ring it’s all entertainment, thankfully no punches were thrown and overall Calicoe clearly had the better battle.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “You probably would block a shot like [waves hand like a girl] this, fucking with me you gonna have a block a shot like [falls back and cowers] this!”
Recap: The Tupac bar was mean, but damn if Calicoe didn’t get his point across otherwise, using some finite hustler talk, gritty personals, steely gun bars and an assertive stage presence to beat back an inconsistent Hitman Holla in this one-round battle from Snoop Dogg’s Gladiator School.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “Snoop sent that money, he went on Instagram snapping pictures, Snoop sent MY money, I went up the hill and bought a package with it!”
Synopsis: Probably the worse Calicoe we’ve ever seen: totally unprepared, testy and clearly overlooking his opponent for his upcoming match with Surf. Props to DNA for catching an easy body on his home turf and putting it out there in no uncertain terms to Calicoe that he lost to Lux.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Best line: DNA – “But since you like Michael Vick, it should ne no problem when this eagle spit, this nigga Calicoe be fighting with chickens more then Peter Griffin”
Recap: As T-Rex succinctly put it at the beginning of his round 2: “They said the person that wins this battle is the person that’s gonna have the street crowd”. Gun bars, street cred, hustling semantics, Harlem vs. Detroit and some pointed personals were the themes of this battle between Rex and Calicoe, who returned to the URL stage for the first time since his epic loss to Loaded Lux the previous year. For the first couple of rounds, both battlers came with the energy and lived up their rep. A confident Rex shined with some wicked punchlines, heated firearm (“When that mac spraying, you know it’s gonna hit back hand and I’m shooting on the ground in case he act dead!”) gusto and nice performance bars. Despite a somewhat hostile crowd Calicoe (who deserves a knock for talking too much through Rex’s rounds) matched Rex with a couple of ill, versatile rounds, styling on Rex with some formidable (“Dot Mobb, a bunch of bitches, Moulin Rouge!”) personals, amiable wordplay and witty street (“You make death threats? he the type of nigga I give my address out to, like slide through!”) bars. So intense, entertaining and competitive were the first two rounds that you were bound for a letdown in round 3 and unfortunately that was the case. Still, while Rex kept his round short, he was still able to pack in enough hitting (“The drama I’m with it, show up to his funeral in the same clothes I had on when I did it!”) punches and personals to easily take the round (and the win) over Calicoe’s mostly lukewarm bars and righteous filler. Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T-Rex – “I treat my block like a newborn ass, I’m putting powder on it!”
Recap: Yunno, even if his atypical rhyme patterns and so-called ‘over the head’ bars are sometimes overblown or dismissed due to his oft-want for silly antics, the bottom line here in this one-rounder from BeatKnoxxx Rehash is that Daylyt did show up and tho he could be a little off-putting (talking on a phone during a battle…really?!?) at times, so did Calicoe. Still, aggressively addressing personal battle rap issues, talking that street (“I got a clip full, I’m trying to free every bullet like they mason’s, I’ll let a couple fly like honeymoon, vacation!”) shit that he’s known for and dishing fiery bully/gun bars with Grade-A bluster, Calicoe ends up taking this one.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Daylyt – “I look at you dead in your eyes like Who you?!…my guns will peel, bury [Pillsbury] these dope boys [doughboys] Woohoo!“
Recap: Here we find that lyrically Calicoe doesn’t so much outshine Metta as he does aggressively and performance-wise with more heat in his rounds per bar than his opponent.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “You one of those gay crooks that be a lookout for your boys during a robbery, and be in the hood bragging about what they took”
Recap: Honestly, what more can be said about this battle? Indeed, in what would not only turn out to be one of the greatest battle rap matches of all-time, but the witnessing of a man who rarely battles, Loaded Lux, be elevated to ‘God’ status amongst the entire battle rap community (and famously get quoted from the likes of Jay-Z) for his sterling performance here (and that’s even after Lux choked in his 1st round), this battle even had superstars within the hip-hop elite impressed, all the same elevating the battle rap platform as a whole. Of course, Calicoe has no one to blame but himself for being on the other end of Lux’s newfound status, as he was the one who had the gall to call Lux out of retirement in the first place–getting ‘Grey Hoodie Lux’ so amped and motivated to come through that he not only dressed up in a tux for the bout, but literally brought a whole funeral party with him. Still to be fair, throughout the years Cal has regularly shown that his bravado can rarely be questioned and coming off an epic 3-0 win versus Math Hoffa, why shouldn’t Cal at least ask for Lux?
That said, no sense wasting time by getting into semantics here. This was a clear 2-1 victory for Lux and despite a scheme-heavy Cal being pretty (“It don’t matter if you loaded Lux, when that gun on safety!”; “The first nigga who he got his his back, gonna die fronting!”) ) solid throughout (that is, when he wasn’t wasting bars spitting about other battlers). Yet, Cal only got the first round thanks to the aforementioned choke, which somewhat speaks volumes to the stratospheric level Lux was on here (one could certainly argue that the only reason Lux choked is because he got so caught in the emotion of the raucous crowd celebrating his return to the stage–regardless, it still counts tho).
Indeed, Lux’s eternal catchphrase of “You gon’ get this work!” was on total display on this night, systematically deconstructing his opponent throughout the battle with highly crafted personals, O.G. (“That’s why when I look up at you, I see what he can go through when a father don’t take the time!; “Your pops wasn’t no gangster, he was just another lost nigga!”) lessons on life and the pursuit of happiness, epic (“Look at him, emotional!”) showmanship, finite (“Let me bring that back ‘cuz I need y’all to grasp it, ain’t it evil to live backwards?!”) crowd control, ample wit, idealistic (“A rap league of tyrants and a child being defiant, oh, I’m in battle mode!”) set-ups, sizzling braggadocio lines, the legendary (“You’ve got some explaining to do, can we address the crowd?, Exhibit A, so that’s how Detroit gangstas do? Skinny dipping gone wild?!”) screen prop and of course, a roundhouse of potent bars and classic quotables…all without a single gun bar. Altogether, that’s not just phenomenal, it’s a clear ass-whipping.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “You niggas came here playing, it’s cool, but y’all gon’ leave giving head counts, they didn’t even book you nigga’s rooms, I told ’em Harlem Hospital giving beds out!”
Synopsis: This is a tough one, because bar for bar O-Red (“With that being said it’s one rule if you wanna pass this nigga, don’t spit it like the last bitch nigga, cuz the way I left that faggot in a casket laying on chin chilla, even Gaylord Focker couldn’t have Ben Stiller”) had the better material here. But rap battles shouldn’t be judged on just bars as creativity, rebuttals, performance, delivery, etc. have to be taken into consideration too. And that’s why Calicoe gets the win here, winning rounds 2 and 3 with amazing performance lines, freestyles, jokes (even O-Red later admitted how over-the-top and funny Cal was (‘…Cal, you’ve done enough!’) in that classic 3rd with the storytelling), shit-talking, personals and rebuttals in front of a hostile Jersey crowd. Then too, anyone who’s seen the run O-Red’s been on of late knows that this wasn’t one of his best performances overall. Cal edged it.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Best line: O-Red – “You stealing from a seed that you raised?, I should open-hand you, you got your power from your son, you a solar panel”
Recap: Thanks to Uncle Trick Trick introducing himself to the world outside of Detroit, so much has already been said about this battle that we’ll just keep it short and judge it on who rapped better. So while Arsonal had some good (“You X-Factor and Miles…you dirty motherfuckers!”) jokes, was aggressive throughout, came with hard (“Your punk ass daddy only did one crime, one time, now he only get an hour worth of sunshine”) bars along with plenty of personals and altogether put on a dope performance, too much filler and average bars, especially in rounds 1 and 3 (the alphabet scheme was nice, but it wasn’t unique or that much better than all the other dudes have given us their versions of Papoose’s bestowla to the world), hurt him. For Calicoe, along with a more cohesive and consistent show, he really impressed mocking Arsonal’s style of rap, dispensing dope (“I mean I heard of MTV Jams, shit I even heard of MTV 2, but your shit cam eout on MTV U, I mean I’m not even sure that’s something MTV do”) rebuttals along with exquisite (“They think I’m good [Goodz] but I don’t throw bottles, I’m jumping in this crowd like I play for the Packers”) punchlines, personals, gritty street bars and fleeting wordplay. Good, entertaining and close battle, but I got Calicoe edging rounds 1 and 3 to take it in the end.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “This is what Wale would look like if Rick Ross ain’t gave him another chance”
Recap: Stunting and boasting left and right with elements of gritty street barbs mixed in, Calicoe and Prince Lord take it back to the rudimentary basics of who can out-rap the other in this 1-rounder from P. Noble TV, which a more consistently spicy and punch-heavier Calicoe easily wins.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “This thing ain’t about rap, look at my profession, too bad this nigger future ain’t as bright as his complexion!”
Synopsis: Call this an upset because at the time of this battle there was nothing on Calicoe resume that could’ve made you even guess that he could pull off this total dismantling of Math Hoffa. From the superb “golddigger” bar to stepping in Math’s grill with the “Dose” line to taking shots at Math’s NYB crew to calling out Loaded Lux in round 3, Calicoe puts on a total show with an all-around dope performance featuring hot bars and wicked (“What you ’bout 6’6″?, It don’t even matter you still a big bitch”) personals. Of course, Math would later try to blame this on the crowd rooting for the ‘underdog’ and him going through some drama that morning. But no one told Math to try and punk Calicoe early in his 1st round, much less dress up like the Unabomber for a battle. But whatever, in setting up his upcoming battle against Loaded Lux, Calicoe just used Math Hoffa like a rag doll and that’s what you call a “landslide”, indeed.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “Straight disrespect talk to all of ya men reckless, my chrome, man that bitch keep banging more that Karrine Steffans”
Synopsis: Honestly I thought this one was pretty close, or a lot closer than people give it credit for. K-Shine put on a pretty good performance, challenging Calicoe’s “real talk” throughout, but going overkill on dissing his gov’t name. However, Calicoe’s consistent aggression, genial bars and Dot Mob personals hit so close to home that overall you had to give him the edge.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “Niggas wanna’ try me, I let the glock fly 3 and let these bullets park in son (Parkinson) and leave him shaking with Ali”
Synopsis: To me, this is the road Shotgun Suge should’ve stayed on: spitting bars for pure shock value (“Beef? I’ll have Detroit looking like fuckin’ Port-au-Prince”) that other battle rappers probably wouldn’t even think of to say. That could’ve established Suge’s signature, given him a pedigree to build off of and maybe even make him more creative lyrically. Then too, I’m a believer that when it comes to battles, topic-wise nothing besides talking about people no longer living or a rapper’s kids, should be considered off-limits. That’s this battle will always be remembered for the way-over-the-top Proof (R.I.P.) bars, but besides that it was Suge’s steady aggression and scandalous bars that gave him round one. Yet it was Calicoe who stepped it up and out-barred Suge in rounds 2 and 3 to gain a close win.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Best line: Calicoe – “To hell is where these lames wanna send me, [but] with these 4-5’s I ain’t giving you change for a twenty”
Synopsis: For the most part a pre-“Landslide!” Calicoe puts on a dope show using fierce punchlines (“His bitch always want me to cut, she admire my saw”) and jokes (“He was one of those fat, short niggas at the court wishing he was a tall cat that say ‘If I can’t play well I’m taking my ball back”) to rally the crowd while making a game attempt to steal a win from hometown fave Heartless. Yet, an animated Heartless sets adrfit any chance for Calicoe to take this one by delivering two rounds of pure heat. Put aside the quasi-gay (“smack at his butt like baby clothes”) lines, Heartless goes immediately for the throat with punchlines (“….Nigga if you Mr. Hightower, how come you still ain’t came here [hair] with a fresh line”) galore an ill ‘how-to-use-arm’ scheme and steady haymakers (“I’m not fucking with him, that’s why I stay strapped, nigga I bring that semi abroad, that bitch done took off more wigs than Nicki Minaj”). Granted it’s not easy getting beat by a guy dressed in pink, but Calicoe will be alright.
Verdict: Heartless (W) 2-1
Best line: Heartless – “If I approach you with that iron kid, it’s no wonder you’ll be losing bread, fuck it, how about we all just rob him then go cut the cake together like newlyweds?”
Synopsis: So this battle starts off with Calicoe just spazzing, dissing New York heads (“All my victims got somethin’ in common, a bunch of New York niggas born rich with a silver spoon”) in a room full of Yankee fitteds, dealing out that gun talk, clearly taking over the room and well on his way to a win on the road no less. But credit Rich for staying consistently aggressive throughout, delivering schemes (“That Calicoe will put him 6 deep, for thinking he I’ll, he catch a Holla in his Big Tee”), disrespectful bars and that straight BX gutter (“Ask the Jacksons I kill mics [Mike] no prescription drugs”) talk, all the while a clearly unprepared Calicoe looks up to the sky so he can remember and start spitting lyrics from his music library. BX all day.
Verdict: Rich Dolarz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “We only watch Richie’s battles to hear him say ‘Chill!'”
Recap: As brazen, slick, off-the-dome and punch-heavy as Calicoe was here in this URL 3-rounder vs. Nuborn, what really stood out was just effortless he made it seem. The Detroit rapper incorporating a variety of clever wordplay, fiery personals and dope anecdotes in his raps, when he wasn’t impressively almost free-styling an entire 3rd round. And while Nuborn, one of the nicest punchers in the game around this time, tried to keep things competitive (esp. during a sublime round 3), way too many pedestrian bars from the BX spitter throughout the battle along with Cal’s well-executed 3 rounds of heat, was enough to give the latter a shutout.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “I did an ultrasound on this newborn [Nuborn], I knew he was a bitch before he got here!”
Recap: As Yung Ill mused, “Ill be schooling niggas for free, tell ’em come get they scholarship”. Which may explain why so many fans still root for the St. Louis spitter to this day, despite personal demons that have caused huge blowbacks on what was once a thriving battle career. Evident in full here during the infamous “Smack, who is this nigga?” battle, as a wry Ill leans heavy on winning anecdotes, nice personals, amiable wordplay and hard-hitting (“I’m on my shit again, no diaper rash, just pipes and mags for niggas that like to flash they ice and cash, or play Pac…till we Suge Knight they ass!”) bars to take out a strong-willed (“A lot of niggas know the plug, but I’m the power strip”; “He say he in that drop top, I say good now he can get his top popped…John F. Kennedy”) and competitive, but not-quite-ready-for-primetime, Calicoe.
Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Yung Ill – “See, Detroit likes hockey and since Eminem y’all captain, I guess all the black rappers the waterboys”
Recap: Early Calicoe Grind Time battle sees him come from behind, revel in some nice gun (“B. Silva street? the mag will put a pothole in his face”) bars as well as steady name flips to take out the BX’s B. Silva.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “See I know Ak frail, wannabee a dummy? One shot will turn him into Sonny and that’ll be a Bronx Tale”
