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Franchise defeats Chef Trez

Recap: In sports, just because you know what play the opposing coach is drawing up, doesn’t guarantee that you’ll win the game. And the same theory applies to Franchise, who despite almost always slinging 90% gun bars, still makes for a formidable opponent with his graphic punches, rich performance bars and at times witty verbiage. That said, the Canadian battler’s commitment to dispensing heat is what gets him the edge in this URL/Born Legacy 6 battle against Chef Trez. A consistently energetic, gun line-centric, punch-drunk and haymaker-drenched round 1 goes Franchise’s way before Trez (who despite losing the opening round, still had a pretty dope turn) went ham in the 2nd round with what might be a record ‘5 of those things’ (aka rebuttals) that along with some spicy name flips, fire gun lines and fierce personals/set-ups, nicely combined to tie things up heading into the 3rd round. The last round was a close one with Trez delivering his usual tasty combo of rich punches/personals and off-the-dome burners. But despite getting off to a bit of a slow start, Mr. No Lacking uses a series of gritty street darts, power punches and steely mayhem to edge the final round for the win.

Verdict: Franchise (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Franchise – “Dump the body, toss the heat, talk is cheap, creep up with the ladder like Dawson’s Creek!”

Nu Jerzey Twork defeats Rum Nitty

Recap: Having clearly prepped many of his bars (as well as his wardrobe) around his opponent’s well-noted gang membership, Nu Jerzey Twork’s strategy of going extra personal with Rum Nitty not only includes fire bars, but a literal slam dunk on Rum by Shotgun Suge (which Nitty returned with a dope rebuttal that’d make Spud Webb wink), Blood flag-waving and mentions of Rum’s family that in a rare moment, got Nitty to completely lose his cool and leave the stage. That sudden ‘intermission’ would come after a classic 2nd round from Rum, an extraordinary, performance-rich fete a fete that contained a host of sterling gun bars, sizzling (“Y’all said he was gonna beat me to death?, you’re right [makes like he’s firing a gun]…he died first!”; “Gun butt, it crack inside the hood…Reaganomics!”) punchlines, the aforementioned rebuttal and eccentric performance lines/wordplay. Still, Twork wasn’t just about personals here in what altogether was a spitfire battle even with all the tension in the air and the near fisticuffs. Withstanding a shitload of searing heat from his opponent in both the 1st and 3rd rounds (less so in the 3rd, as Rum’s turn while still pretty solid, was still his least potent) as well as the aforementioned 2nd, Twork’s pen game proved to not only be reliable, but multifaceted and stellar, whether it was via gritty wordplay, bodacious name flips, flexing (“K-clip, press down on a half-moon…’Do Not Disturb!'”) gun lines or fly (“I slide on an opportunity [tune Nitty], yeah Steams said that too and I shouldn’t be tossing his shit, I already left shells in one Cake, don’t get lost in the mix!”) angles/set-ups that were steered by a righteous flow/performance that stayed on-point and consistent throughout the battle. Or in other words…Jersey.

Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Old sniper rifle, fresh out the repair shop…fuck Rum, this shit Vodka, I got a clear shot!”

Ish Mulah defeats Rich Porter

Recap: Ok, that one surprised me. Already flexing hard through the first couple of rounds of this GHOGH/JCBL 3-rounder against Rich Porter (who after a 1st round choke, got better with his gritty punches with each proceeding turn) with a boatload of bruising punchlines, rich set-ups/boasts and dope name flips, in the 3rd round Ish Mulah goes completely left and gets his B. Dot on to serve up a filler-proof, righteous, socially-conscious and impactful series of lines that added plenty of substance to an already sublime performance/victory.

Verdict: Ish Mulah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ish Mulah – “Rich Porter?, you got killed by a rat, you bitch, let’s re-enact the shit, I woulda ran up like ‘That’s 14 keys?’ and snatched the shit!”

Tay Roc defeats Bad Newz

Recap: Although the allegations (and they do appear to be true) of Bad Newz stealing a couple of bars here lessens the bite of this battle, him and Tay Roc still put on quite a show what with both battlers dishing some exquisite mayhem, stinging gun bars, some salacious (BN: “He my idol, but tonight in this ring I’m son rifle, ‘bad news’ written all over this hammer, that’s the Gun Title!”) wordplay, gripping personals, snappy performance bars and plenty of gritty punchlines and potent (TR: “If we don’t kill him, we coming back for Newz weekly!”) name flips. Still, for all of Newz’ aggression and potency throughout his round, some pedestrian bars by Newz here and there along with an epic Tay Roc clearly on his A-game, dropping haymakers with rapid abandon with nary any filler throughout, would prove to be too much in the end.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Every nigger in my crew clap for me, I could send Chef and Raw like my food Japanese!”

Swamp defeats Your Honor

Recap: In one of the better PGs from 2019, it’s a flawless 2nd round that along with some surprising (“And you was just a Lunchable, I was always taught to cover my own ass, like if you say “grace” I say one right after you, just in case God don’t fuck witchu!”) wit and extra spicy personals/name flips that stand out for the normally gun bar/punch-heavy Swamp here as the South Carolina battler used a condensed and punchline-lit turn to edge round 1, before the aforementioned 2nd also earned him that round. And while the witty/slick storytelling (“I seen a nigga who had nothin’…still get bitch-slapped!”) backstylings of Your Honor had at the very least kept things close in the earlier rounds, the DC rapper could only muster (bird sounds included) a half-hearted effort in the final round, which in turn would help a still-on-point and gritty Swamp get the 30.

Verdict: Swamp (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swamp – “You play with me I’m a grip the thing, the drum stick [drumstick] will leave ’em all flat like most bitches like they chicken wings!”

Dre Dennis and Bill Collector [DEBATABLE]

Recap: Dope altogether and super entertaining Verbal War Zone between Bill Collector and Dre Dennis really has no winner as after splitting the first two rounds, BC’s now classic, original, personal and wild (“Put the salads and the soups aside/Supersize on the Supersize!”) funny 3rd (‘We Loved You Better As A Fat Nigger’) round still doesn’t beat what was a pretty gritty, punch-heavy and hard turn from Dre Dennis. And while overall it’s BC who rode the beats better, bar-wise the edge goes to Dre Dennis, again making this battle only a close match with huge replay value, but a debatable one too.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “Aim at him while he with his homies laughing, D. Rose, straight-face, make a shot with no reaction!”

Hollaluyah Jones defeats Dizzy Spadez

Recap: From Spittaz League, he didn’t receive the Jordan’s from his opponent for his baby that he’s been looking for, but a sublime, punch-heavy, super well-crafted and versatile 2nd round after a condensed, gritty, bar-efficient and personal/punchline-lit 1st by Hollaluyah Jones gets the Queens battler the win here in this 3-rounder over a brazen, performance-stunting and gift-giving, but elongated and topsy-turvy (till round 3, which he edged) run by Dizzy Spadez.

Verdict: Hollaluyah Jones (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hollaluyah Jones – “I love the crack game so much [‘How much?’] I signed all my feens out of rehab!”

A. Ward defeats Bill Collector

Recap: In a highly entertaining, fiery and competitive 3-rounder from Krack Liberty Battle League that also featured Bill Collector with a bunch of his dopest 1-2 punching, raucous and witty best (close enough to score round 2 debatable) a couple (including a classic round 1) of stellar-name flipping, punch-heavy, personal-lit and brazen when needed rounds by A. Ward gets the Christian battle rapper the win.

Verdict: A. Ward (W) 2-1

Favorite line: A. Ward – “So this where the game end, blame Zim, the man tried me, said he had an idea he needed ran by me, then I got that Bill Collector call, y’all know…scam likely!”

Jey The Nitewing defeats Don Marino

Recap: Perhaps a little wary of having to do his 3rd Proving Grounds battle, a serious Jey The Nitewing lives up to his open ‘I ain’t come here to play’ declaration with a sizzling 1st and classic 2nd round filled with spitfire punchlines, intricate wordplay, varied/heated personals and pontifications towards an opponent in Don Marino who entertained and came punch-heavy throughout, but overall just didn’t have enough to keep up with Nitewing’s more potent bars.

Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “What you take me for, fuck your hustle, when it come to the struggle nigga anybody could play that card, see I came from cold showers, all my euces know, but see most was broke, nigga Jey was poor, I ain’t have a mattress till I was 16, I had to wake up and make the floor!”

Nu Jerzey Twork defeats Chess

Recap: Apparently back on his grind after recent bouts with choking, an almost flawless-with-the-flow Chess does his part, in this electric Banned battle versus Nu Jerzey Twork, to deliver a punch-heavy, (“Basically, I’m comin’ at (@) him, he strapped in!?, I’ll SMASH in…both his hands wit’ a hammer!, how he gon’ use his strap, then!?”) wordplay-spazzing and mayhem-dishing (esp, during a rousing and almost flawless 2nd round) performance that the College of Kicking Doors Down can only appreciate. Too bad for Chess, except for a shortened 2nd round that helped his opponent tie things up after he took the first, NJT was on his A-game too, the big man rocking the crowd in the 1st and 3rd rounds with a steady stream of steely punchlines, fierce name flips, raucous (“Your life’s ending, pipe lifting, eyes squinting, light-skinneded [Bang!] till there’s no more left then the right kickin’n [Bang!], now there’s one more left for the nice Smith n’, Shine on Chess [chest], ice pendant [Bang!] steel [still] get off…white privilege!”) gun bars and fiending anecdotes that were all backed by a spitfire performance to earn the win.

Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “I’m at ya crib…if he in there sleepin’ peaceful, then he in for a rude awakenin’!, big shit!, I’m sittin’ by the bed while he snoozin’, waitin’, sniper rifle: bird eyes on Chess [chest] like a Hooters waitress!”

Pat Stay defeats Danny Myers

Recap: “I’m a man of many hats and you’re just Sway on the Morning!” No discredit at all to Danny Myers who was excellent here, raining down some superb (“One .80 [180] split your circle in half, stay out my radius!”) punchlines, fierce wordplay and aggressive haymakers throughout his 3 rounds. But that aforementioned bar by Pat Stay, a dope metaphor when it comes to battlers displaying versatility with their bars versus being more one-dimensional, sums up why Pat’s 2nd round–a searing ode to breaking down n opponent’s style, getting mean with the personals, showcasing crazy comedic wit, dishing raucous crowd-pleasers and an ability to punch with the best of ’em–gets him the win after taking the 1st, before a still turned-up Danny salvaged the 3rd.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Let ’em know, we could’ve did this battle awhile before, but you can’t cross the border cuz’ you don’t pay your child support, poor kids, don’t when they’re gonna eat next, because daddy robbed all their piggy banks and gave it to T-Rex!”

Young Kannon defeats QP

Recap: Rare is a classic round from someone who ends up losing the match, but QP’s 2nd round here, dedicated to his opponent’s choice of footwear, was a fire tutorial on (“Size 12?, well, I guess you’re putting your best foot forward!”) off-the-dome acumen and delivery. That said, a 3-round close punch-fest with fellow vet Young Kannon equates to a whole lot of witty bars, dope wordplay, stinging (YK: “Black Ice, milking you for nothing…that’s a wig voucher!”) personals and fierce schemes on both sides. But at the end of the day it’s a more consistent and haymaker inclined YK who takes rounds 1 and 3 to earn the win.

Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Young Kannon – “Ever since you been hanging with Qleen, you been acting way too hard…off John Q, the nigger SONned you and gave you heart!”

Math Hoffa defeats Snake Eyez

Recap: Judging from his smile’s and head nod’s of approval throughout the battle, you just knew that Snake Eyez kicked the kind of shit that the veteran Math Hoffa likes: gritty street bars, flexing punchlines/gun bars, steady in-ya-face aggression and little to nothing when it came to the resident name flips Math normally hears. However, after splitting the first two rounds with Math, Snake’s elongated rounds, quixotic personals and lastly, a surprise tag-in by Hoffa’s ex, Bonnie Godiva, would slowly lead to his downfall. First Hoffa, who has struggled with keeping his flow together of late, managed to stay in his bag with enough witty barbs, potent personals, steely bully/gun (“I’ll raise these two arms and have them kicking like a musty nigga!”) semantics, nicer angles and haymakers to edge a more condensed round 1, before a solid round 2 is only edged by Snake having the (“Morgan Freeman, Mountain Dew [claps his hands], I’ll show you how to put a legend on ice!”) best bar of the round. The deciding round 3 is a competitive and a highly entertaining one with both battlers spitting juicy punches, rich performance bars, fiery schemes and visceral (Snake Eyez: “Nigga’s have all those blind jokes, till they eating smushed down pea’s!”) jabs. But after already dishing a hard turn, Snake’s choice to go extra with a blown-up photo prop, unexpectedly getting his Young X on with a ‘Get ‘Em!’ roast session and the aforementioned cameo by Ms. Godiva would backfire as a Hoffa not known for a rebuttal game, would start his turn with a couple of fire (“And as far as Bonnie, you really wanna go the rhyming route?, you taking about eating ass?!, I watch your battles, you got other nigga’s shit coming out your mouth!”) rebuts before seguing into a plethora of nasty written’s, Lux-inspired pontifications and real street banter (altogether a classic turn) to edge the round and take the battle.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “See, what you do with your battle money, you go buy some clothes, maybe cop you a chain, so ya bum ass could look fly while you hopping the train, nigga, you real corny, for everybody that take care of their kids, that’s real glory, you can’t feed yourself, what you gonna feed a kid, a jail story?!”

Nu Jerzey Twork defeats Aye Verb

Recap: The hoodie taken off (we see you Calicoe) completes the comeback in what was a haymaker-filled, performance-heavy and personal/punchline/wordplay (“I’m at your crib, he like ‘It ain’t gonan be that tho!’ [bwoh!] yes it is!”) stifling, classic 3rd round from Nu Jerzey Twork. Indeed, after a pedestrian, slip-up prone 1st that was cut short, much less had zero chance of beating a solid, (“Your flow low-key blah, blah, my emoji monster’s, I’m solo with it, I never need a staff, I ain’t Loki partna!”), posturing and punch-heavy ‘Vegan Verb’, Twork literally turned it up, stunting heavy with a consistently rapid, gun bar execution in the 2nd, before the aforementioned spitfire 3rd finished the mission.

Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “One hit from this MC Hammer [emcee hammer] like Have You Seen Her?, if I had to arm you in a casket hugging the body, the Macarena [mac will ring ya]!”

O-Red defeats Cortez

Recap: A classic, consistently punch-heavy, personal/name flip (nice enough to turn around Cor’s ‘Nasty!’ jargon on him) spazzing and aggressive 1st round from O-Red sets the tone. And even while getting edged by the rebuttal-spouting, mayhem-friendly and equal (“So either check in or get checked out, I’ll hit him with X amount, he’ll be X’d out, Malcolm X style, meaning he gon’ burn then die [dye] when I let it fry on Red scalp!”) haymaker-dishing Cortez in the 2nd, in this fire matchup between two battle vets, O-Red proves in the end to have enough (“Now I’m confused, are y’all tellin’ me, you went from Total Slaughter couch to Charlie couch? well goddamn Mr. Top Tier Money, you need some bread bro? Sub Zero after the finisher, hold ya head up [BAOW!] now it’s like I got evicted when the lead bust!”) heat and more consistent punches to edge to pretty solid turn from his opponent and take the deciding round.

Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1

Favorite line: O-Red – “Smack, what you be on, this a lose-lose tell this faggot move along, a lose-lose for you I mean, you see, I could snap and do you wrong or choke every round and send you back where you belong!”

Rum Nitty defeats Iron Solomon

Recap: Can you deliver a classic round and still lose a battle? Apparently so, as despite the condensed and gun bar prolific Rum Nitty dishing just enough seismic punchlines, stinging racial barbs and fiery (“This how a nigga play, If I need something in my house, I’m running errands [run in Aaron’s], I got bills to pay!”) wordplay in the 1st and 2nd rounds to take the win, a returning-to-Smack Iron Solomon, competitive throughout with his own mix of rigid punchlines, quality personals and stinging schemes, delivers a 3rd round for the ages with its stellar offering of well-crafted angles, potent (“You they property, ain’t about to see a proper piece of the profit share, they pay you less than bottom tier…Nitty, you a volunTEER!”) personals and total flexing with the lyrics. Altogether a fire battle (it should be said that a consistent throughout Nitty spit a punch-heavy and dope 3rd round himself) with too many standout bars to count, Rum Nitty versus Iron Solomon goes down as ultimately living up to its marquee bill.

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “I’ll leave a nigga leaking for intervening, while your people be penny-pinching, mine nickle squeezing I kill em easy!”

Drugz defeats Gwittty

Recap: Fire battle between Gwitty and Drugz, what with plenty of dope personals and real tension in lieu of past drama between the two for the past year or so. Drugz shines hard in the 1st round, dishing steely punches and stinging gun (“Mini rocket launcher look like a news camera!”) bars left and right with wild-eyed intensity on his mark, while easily beating back a mostly pedestrian turn by Gwitty. 2nd round, however is all Gwitty, scoring at will with crisp (“This the dirtiest matchup on Smack…Xcel verse Anubis!”) jab after (“You out here acting reckless, they think he wilding, his record clean, that’s why they call him Drugz [drugs], he non-violent!”) jab, all the while slumping his opponent to the point of pretty much giving up the round and evening up the match. A solid, (“Have my bitch suck his dick, my ratchet head-tap him…blow his brain!”) punch-heavy, personal-drenched turn from Gwitty in the 3rd and final round gives him a nice chance to take a win here. However, Drugz wouldn’t be having it, dishing exquisite (“But my daughter was born yesterday, y’all seen Final Destination? the only think that could stop death is new life!”) set-ups in-between witty pontifications and grandiose braggadocio bars, it’s the more versatile DMV rapper’s vic for the taking.

Verdict: Drugz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Drugz – “Now I bring death upon Paper…a eulogy!”

Chef Trez defeats Chess

Recap: You’d think that most objective battle rap fans would put Chess in their Top 10 for best lyricists, as even while struggling so much with his flow here, his overall palette was impeccable. Still, this battle rap and stumbles, slip-ups, chokes…well, they all matter. As they should. And lately, it’s becoming too much of a problem for Chess. And while, some could say that with Chef Trez spazzing, clearly on his A-game while spouting a potent [“…9, .44…Tyrese nigger, what more do you want from me!”) ‘3 of dem things’ in a ridiculous 2nd, I’d say that if not for Chess struggling with his flow at times in the first, he would’ve at least been able to edge the 1st round despite Trez’s opening round (“…he struggling to breathe? [hiccups] sound like I’m in his rounds when he fucking up!”) comeuppance and we would’ve had a tie going into the 3rd as overall, Chess spat slightly better (“30 shooting at homes like Steph playing in the Oracle…I like Trez tho, I know he pussy, but his aura cool [oracle]!”; “Step back or get a wet back [wetback]…immigration!”) bars and showed a little more versatility than his opponent did. Of course, there’s no excuse for Chess choking in the 3rd, a round he probably would’ve lost anyway what with his slow start and yet another (“You speak brave, you from the PJs, you got a lot of lip!”) spitfire turn from Trez. But moving forward I’d still recommend Chess work on shortening his rounds to avoid the slip-ups and let’s definitely not give K-Shine’s constant interruptions a front row seat.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Gun butt him, leave a kid with the shitface…he the seed of Chucky!”

Geechi Gotti defeats Ave

Recap: A competitive, altogether fire and epic punch-fest with plenty of replay value, Geechi Gotti versus Ave is easily one of the best battles to go down in 2018. And damn if Ave, on his A-game throughout with a shitload of flexing (“My mans died, my mode was on ‘ride’, wasn’t even sleepin’ bro, then wifey caught me loadin’ the strap, lookin’ like, “Please don’t go!, two wrongs never make it right!”, [but] it make it even though!”) punches, some phenomenal wordplay and aggressive mayhem/gun play, didn’t do everything to win. But unfortunately for the Norfolk, VA rapper, Geechi, in rounds 1 and 3 (a superbly-executed classic) anyway, just did him one better. An urban alchemist when it comes to the bars, while Geechi’s real life street ethos usually garners the headlines, his ability to mix in dope personals, witty barbs, ‘random’ shots at whoever’s irking him at the time, storytelling bars and gritty (“‘Cuz I’m struggling with making it out the streets, and that’s one of the toughest problems to have, I’m just sayin’, my whole life I’ve been battlin’ the Ave!”) name flips/schemes, more often than not doesn’t get the credit it deserves. And that’s why Gotti wins here.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “My nigga, you remind me of 2Pac though, not ‘cuz of your bars or because the hood feel you, it’s just we seen you throw punches on cam, but we still think Suge killed you!

B. Dot defeats Emerson Kennedy

Recap: You know damn well Smack wanted to yell ‘Time!‘ early during that round 3. But give him credit for keeping it professional and letting B. Dot, with his first ever appearance on the URL stage,  go on uninterrupted with arguably (the closest that I could think of was Arsonal going at ARP during his battle against Showoff) the most (“Or is this the same trick that got us boarded on the slave ship from that European invasion?, Capitalism, they ain’t change it, the old master say, ‘You niggas ain’t goin’ nowhere’, new masters say, ‘It only matters on this plantation!'”) scathing and blistering round you’ve ever seen against a league owner in battle rap history. And B. Dot needed every bit of his classic 3rd. Because that’s how nice the highly slept-on Emerson Kennedy was throughout this battle, dishing exquisite punchlines, fiery (“Are you really reppin’ they word, or just reinforcing the negative lessons they’ve learned?, when your community ask for action, are you…too busy preppin’ for Aye Verb?!?”) personals, some stinging wordplay and even a couple of fire rebuttals to take round 1, before being edged by Dot’s conscious, gun line savvy, at times braggadocio and personal comeuppance in the latter rounds. A fire battle regardless of who you thought won that repped the West-coast well, it’s good to know that with B. Dot proceeding to make a couple of more appearances on Smack since this battle took place, it’s all good now.

Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B. Dot –  “Watch how I aim the thing and flame your scene, I turn your world upside down my nigga, it’ll be nothin’ but ashes and you ain’t never seen Stranger Things!”

T Top defeats JC

Recap: If his classic (not just for the controversial and ill-advised ‘Kenneka Jenkins’ bar), haymaker-drenched 1st round didn’t prove that T Top wasn’t motivated for this battle with JC, then certainly his fiery and elongated 2nd and super-long 3rd (which even featured a cameo from a pop lock dancer, because yunno THIS once happened) did. And maybe with him tossing out everything but the kitchen sink, including wild name flips, potent (“I brought this [turns hand like gun over JC’s head] to press on your mind like postpartum!”) gun bars and some killer punchlines, Top might’ve had a 3-0, if not for JC being JC (minus a few redundant quotables here and there) what with a barrage of exquisite (“I’m no fool, but I’m on the street like Will Ferrell in Old School!”) wordplay, witty personals and hellbent gun bars/punches that were spicy (and condensed) enough to force a debatable 2nd and 3rd. Thus it’s the aforementioned 1st, the only round with a clear victor, that garners Top an appearance in the winner’s circle.

Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T Top – “My grandma told me you was coming, yeah that’s what she said, but she ain’t tell me he was 5-2 clapping the lead, a Vice Lord?!?, with a bandana wrapped on his leg, I thought Jesus ran with Disciples, ain’t that we read?!”

Geechi Gotti defeats NXT

Recap: Fire battle from P&R 559 sees the young’un NXT hold his own against opponent Geechi Gotti via a boatload of aggressive darts, steely (“I’m from the roughest block, I went to sleep with my gun and I love my Glock, so yeah, I lie down with the head crack ‘ya [cracker] just so I could wake up, I ain’t give a fuck if there was crumbs or not!”) gun bars and fiery punchlines/personals. Still, an always prepared Gotti literally goes to town on the youngster, using some stellar wordplay, roundhouse punches, feening set-ups, some solid rebuttals (esp. during a spitfire and flawless 2nd round), stinging name flips and potent (“What made you thought you could bang with the O.G.?,  face shot, smoke coming out of his mouth like the angry emoji!”) gun bars to take each round.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “You been a bitch, I’m really Loc-ing, the semi smoking, double head shot, your brain get swapped, put your idea’s together like a semicolon!”

Tay Roc defeats Dizaster

Recap: A highly anticipated battle for any long time battle rap fan, for the most part Tay Roc versus Dizaster doesn’t disappoint. Round 1 sees the visiting Roc get busy with fire punchlines, crazy name flips and fiery (“I stretch a guy when I’m waving, scope zoom in and out, I exercise when I’m aiming!”) gun bars that proved that he wasn’t here on vacation. On the other hand, the always aggressive and enigmatic Dizaster showed off his mettle as well, using some nice freestyles, loud (“Talking all this bat Cave bullshit, tell me like I don’t know what his world like?!, bitch my last name Bin Laden, I’ve been with this cave business my whole life!”) braggadocio punches and stinging wordplay/name flips to keep up with his opponent’s fire half and split the round.

From there, however, things would change quite a bit as a turned up Roc would up his bar proficiency and versatility game, using a classic, haymaker-drenched 2nd round to take over the West-coast crowd and take the lead when put up against a solid, but too dogmatic at times turn by Diz, before taking the match with another punch-heavy, personal stifling, ably (“Are you a crackhead or a steroid-head?, it’s hella funny, you look like you in shape and out of shape, you a healthy junkie!”) witty and gun-savvy turn that easily beat a less potent, tho (“…you could say it, but I can’t say it?!, Shaniqua gonna get this work!”) clever at times, hit-n-miss round by Diz.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “I’ll take ya bitch from you, I’ll have fun with her then be done with her and I doubt that Slut Walk after .21 hit her!”

Jerry Wess defeats Teewhy

Recap: Loud, witty, highly entertaining and (Jerry Wess with the arguable Bar of the Year during what was a flawless turn: ‘…the bullet will spill out Tee [tea] like ‘Ain’t no sugar in this shit!’ haymaker and Teewhy with the superlative ‘Rap like Jerry Wess’ impression in round 2) sublime battle between Teewhy and Wess certainly got the crowd reaction’s it deserved and the competitive stamp it warranted. Indeed, for all of Teewhy’s fiery punches, aggressive (“Tool draw, snap shot, I’ll do a burger sloppy like food porn!”) gun lines and nifty wordplay, on this particular day his opponent just has as dope a gameplan. Wess going performance bar-heavy and coming over-the-top with the (“Every game I had, I never been ejected, somebody should recognize, they just gave me a tech [Tec], I gotta stop fucking with the ref [points at Teewhy] I got T’d up a second time!”) set-ups/name flips to overtake a pretty solid turn in its own right by Teewhy in round 1, before a nice rebuttal to the start of his turn along with a little less filer gives (“For even thinking he on my level, Y know he must be drunk!”) Jerry the 2nd as well. And while Teewhy would pull out a sorta embarrassing picture prop and attempt to get extra personal, the 3rd round was still the least eventful round of the battle. Yet, with Wess firing off more consistently spicy shiners, the Brooklyn battler gets the final round too and earns the 30.

Verdict: Jerry Wess (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Jerry Wess – “Bang!, bang!, bang!, I lost count, I put a lot in the grave, I just killed everybody in the Colosseum…are you not entertained!”

40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats PC

Recap: For the record, anyone who’s followed 40 B.A.R.R.S battle rap career knows full well what a huge fanbase she has. And that’s all and good as she’s earned that. But just to show how ridiculous Comment sections can be, skim through almost any one of 40 battle’s that doesn’t include her Jaz battle and you’d swear that 40 has never lost a round in her life. Yeah, they’re pretty insane. That said, a personal-lit and more condensed PC manages to edge round 1 of this Bullpen battle before 40 comes through with a snapping, haymaker/wordplay-lit round 2 (i.e. classic) to even things up. 3rd round was another punch-fest, but shortened on each side. Yet, while PC made the case for writing shortened turn’s with his opening round, a dope rebuttal to start off her 3rd and a slightly punch-heavier turn by 40 anyway, helps the Boston emcee offset almost choking away her final round and gaining the win..

Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 2-1

Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “I ain’t even come with 3 rounds, I figured I’d hit him with two by four and that would make this a bar, bitch!”

Geechi Gotti defeats Glueazy

Recap: Honestly, in a consistently spitfire, both battlers on their A-game and super competitive battle like this one, there really are no losers. But after a slightly more versatile, gun bar swinging and (“I’m with the shit, Gotti known to keep a pistol, you dyin’ today…why you think they sent the Reaper [Reeper] with you?!”) haymaker-dropping Geechi Gotti slipped past a killer, punch-terrific turn by Glueazy to edge the 1st round, a wittier, adeptly (“Yeah, say somethin’, I’ll break somethin’, don’t bring your freak around me, or I’ll pistol whip her, yeah, crack her in the head like she thinkin’ ’bout me!”) braggadocios and (“Go ‘head, call up jake if y’all racist, but don’t sleep around white boys, we draw on faces!”) set-up/scheme-heavy Glu beats a solid, street-savvy Gotti to even things out. As to be expected, the deciding 3rd round was close with Glueazy continuing to spaz with a nice mix of lucid personals and more (“Chest shot, five will have him walkin’ like Red Foxx!”) salacious mayhem. But by taking on a (“You know how many nigga hit they mama’s phone like, ‘I’m on my way home’, but never made it?”) grimmer and darker tone with his bars to enhance that real street shit he’s become so noted for, Geechi Gotti’s unique ability to paint such an indelible atmosphere throughout his turn gives him the final round and the win here.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “What the hell wrong with all these white boys thinkin’ they can rap?, see, I gotta blame Marshall, the flame spark you, mini .40, get a small cap in the middle of ya dome like Hey Arnold!

Tay Roc defeats Chess

Recap: Old school and the new generation intertwine for a fire battle between Chess and Tay Roc on the URL/Smack stage. And here we see the two battlers give the fan’s their money’s worth starting with an aggressive Chess spitting a lyrically mammoth 1st round (i.e. classic) that shined throughout with its consistent bent for over-the-top punch (“This nigga’s pussy and he’s a frail ho, talking like he’s gonna creep up with his heater, hell no, we ain’t seen Roc put an arm on Chess [chest] since the People’s Elbow!”) acumen, grittiness and stinging wordplay, before Roc (who himself had a pretty solid 1st round) would come right back, after losing the opening round, with a sometimes witty, but brazen with the personals, (“You can’t handle that old Roc that was a teenager, I’ll put ya face in front of a MAC, that’s a screensaver!”) punchline-savvy and gun bar heavy 2nd round to beat a solid but not as potent turn by Chess and make it a draw going into the 3rd. The last round would feature yet another hard-bodied, mayhem-drenched, street endorsed, sometimes personal, braggadocios and rigid turn by both battlers. But with an equal amount of haymakers on both sides along with Roc dishing a more condensed turn with less dry spots, the edge here goes to the B-more vet.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “My block? you would never dare pass, .38 and it hold dum dums, this a special ed class, aye they ain’t tell you my style type gutter?, give you a buck 50, now you and Steams can smile like brothers!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Ave

Recap: Despite Ave amping up his (“I ain’t the one, if I catch you when you pushing your work, shoot in the trap then double back…that’s Suge with no shirt!”) wordplay/punch game to make a late and fiery comeback in the 3rd, by then it was too late. Shotgun Suge, aggressive throughout, more (“I’ll give this old man bucks, making him bleed, Jason Terry, give him 30 plus ‘cuz he the oldest PG in the league!”) lyrical than usual, personal-savvy, performance-heavy and spitfire altogether drops a classic 1st to take what was a fire opening round. Then using a searing combo of more rambunctious gun bars, fire name flips/personals and stinging bully bars, Suge edges the 2nd over an opponent who had his share of spurts, but too often ran into one too many dry spots to pull off the win.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “So you named yourself Ave like you hold weight like that, no, you just an average nigger from Norfolk, straight like that!”

Bigg K defeats JC

Recap: Running throughout all 3 of his rounds with a super witty/mocking ‘He’s just a baby’ theme for his much smaller built opponent JC, Bigg K has what could arguably be his finest battle. Whether K was kicking a rare rebuttal on his opponent’s outerwear, dishing rapidly stinging (“Look, I rock for delph, big dog of the commonwealth, head first in that dirt, how an ostrich felt!”) punchlines throughout his turns, bringing the heat with some superb gun lines or making fun of battle rap semantics in general when he wasn’t going at JC with scintillating personals, a more-versatile-than-usual Bigg K does it all in taking out a pretty solid overall, gun (“But that scope got a lens wide enough to keep every nigga on yo’ field watching I send a paid shooter, he will pop and you gon’ only see him once like Will pops!”) savvy and haymaker-inducing-at-times, but a bit filler-prone JC, who at the end of the day just didn’t have enough to take out Bigg K’s comeuppance.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Bigg K – “While you was playing Checkers, Connect 4, Life, Trouble, Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, I had to check a connect for life, havin’ trouble getting that can to land, shooting Ladders!”

JC and Chef Trez [DEBATABLE]

Recap: You expected a spitfire punchfest, but instead JC versus Chef Trez is arguably a classic with each battler bringing their A-game and dropping haymakers and other noteworthy schemes with rapid abandon. Round one saw Trez immediately go for the jugular with an elongated turn that was littered with lyrical bombs, versatile heaters/personals and some fire (“We was raised different, the shit we go through day to day different, God told you get baptized, he told me to get a gun…we was saved different!”) wordplay. Chef’s fire palette was met, however, by a just-as-fire round by JC, who upon making his return to Smack, delivered what the fans were craving for: seismic (“Nigga, ask the docs about the patients I left ‘em, and I won’t quit yet, I got more clips left, and the cap will swallow his head like the old Dipset!”) gun bars and adept lyricism in a more condensed turn that earned him a draw for the round. The 2nd round is where Trez turned it up, showing off multifaceted hijinks with freestyles, rebuttals and a robust mix of fiery (“You dying sucker, see how my lines structured?, my mind gutter, .9’s touch ya’, since JC is God’s Son, his background get blew [blue] like Nas cover!”) punches, lofty name flips and witty shiners that easily beat back a pretty solid, but not nearly as nice turn from his fellow Writer’s Bloque opponent. With Trez up one round, the ATL spitter kept the pressure on, continuing to dish standout heat, gritty performance bars and potent schemes with self-assured poise. However, sticking in cool-headed vet mode, JC went back in his bag and came out with another condensed and flexing turn that was rich with stinging set-ups, fire braggadocio lines and jaunty (“Your bitch catch the heat from these straps…she not walking out of there with tan lines!”) punches to edge the round and make this superb battle a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “And what’s up with these niggas with struggle and gangsta bars? these dudes clueless, niggas got shotties in their pants legs, deuce deuce in their boots, but they move stupid, I had the pack in my briefs, AR in my jeans…and I walk regular ’cause I’m used to it!”

Nu Jerzey Twork defeats Qleen Paper

Recap: Take out Qleen Paper’s half-a-minute or so slip-up in the middle of his 2nd round and against the ever-rambunctious Nu Jerzey Twork, you have a much closer battle what with QP’s slick-talking veneer dropping some dope punches here and there when he wasn’t dishing stinging gun (“The beam on his face, soon as it get down to his nose, ring!”) bars, aggressive personals and witty shiners. But clearly focused and repeatedly applying the heat with a host of fly (“I’ll grip a blade, leave ya lip hanging off, give ya a ‘nigga please’ face!”) weaponry, oft-subliminal, but biting wordplay and fierce name flips, Twork wasn’t having any of his opponent’s veteran panache, edging a close round 1 with more spice to his haymakers, before also winning the latter two rounds with the help of a slight downturn in overall potency from Qleen as well as his aforementioned cogency with the bars coupled with an overall very ‘strapping’ performance.

Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Sharpshooter, with the lens, I could go pro [GoPro], [Bwoh!] [Bwoh!], it’s shooting in slo-mo and he’ll who hit him…but you should be used to the No-Show!”

Yung Griz defeats Billy Boondocks

Recap: Funny, entertaining, head-scratching and totally one-sided battle from AHAT sees Yung Griz somehow getting through all the crowd noise and interruptions from his wayward, totally unprepared, freestyling opponent throughout this bout and deliver 3 rounds (we’ll deem the 3rd, where Griz spit what amounted to a superior character assassination, a classic) of spitfire punchlines, scathing personals, piercing schemes, blistering gun bars and rugged name flips and beat back a pretty embarrassing effort from Billy Boondocks.

Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Yung Griz – “You always saying you wanna lift up the West and that’s kinda why some of us new nigga’s try to look up to you, then we get a little buzz and nigga’s say we good and you try to troll to keep us under you and that’s why I can’t fuck with you!”

E-Hart defeats Jaz the Rapper

Recap: After years of chatter, Jaz the Rapper and E-Hart finally meet up on the URL/Smack stage and as each battler’s immense talent and track record would lead you to expect, it’s a fire battle throughout. As for who won? The verdict here essentially comes down to the closest round, the 1st. That said, while E-Hart’s 3rd round was her shortest, the Bronx vet did spit some witty (“You been to more URL battles than Smack!”) lines in the last round that often hit their mark. But versus a thunderous (i.e. classic) round from Jaz that featured some fiery wordplay,, mean, body-dropping (“I’ll kill your daughter then you’ll die right after her…Debbie Reynolds!”; “Why that man let you keep it?, Oh I know ho…the 1st baby-mom always ugly, that’s a broke ho!”) personals and a funny appearance from pop dukes, Hart had no chance there. However, with Hart utilizing some elite wordplay to land (“I’ll catch Jaz wherever she at, like this block is mine, hit her with .9 and then walk away like I copped a dime!”) haymaker after (“You’ll get these bars like I wrote for a nigga…that’s equality!”) haymaker after (“Get it poppin’, I give it up like it’s forgotten, we questioning if you thoting, but that’s a different topic, the K low next to one Tray, that’s Tristan Thomson!”) haymaker with effortless proficiency in the middle round, she’d handily beat back what was an altogether (“So try somethin, ‘cuz I’m hunting, got beef and I invite myself to the cookout, like ‘Hi cousin!'”) solid turn from Jaz. Which brings back us back to the opening round, which saw both rappers mixing it up with an equal amount of stifling punches, stinging bars and hitting personals. And while Jaz was ready with a spicy (“O’fficial did not kill me, so y’all can stop the hating, it was the first time a bitch fought back, so it shocked the nation!”) shot at Hart after the latter went at her loss to O’fficial and kept it close with her own zesty (“The only match to see this Crown Royal is E and J!”) shiners and loaded schemes, it was Hart who was a little more direct and consistently (“Two guns, that’ll sing to ya, meet R and B, not one Bone, Thug in you, don’t speak to Harmony [harming E]!”) fiery with the punches, which in turn enabled her to get the win.

Verdict: E-Hart (W) 2-1

Favorite line: E-Hart – “You tried to explain your death, I was like stop it with the tweets already, after O’fficial fucked your night up, you was Ayesha Curry!”

B. Dot defeats Cortez

Recap: After edging a close 1st round via a gang of gritty storytelling bars, fire set-ups and audacious (“The real food for thought in life, is that you can’t eat books for dinner, you stupid nigga!”) pontifications (that combined added up to a classic that even impressed his opponent) on B. Dot’s renowned battle lectures, Cortez makes the mistake of mostly sticking to one theme: attempting to beat his opponent at his own game for the rest of the battle. Or better yet, perhaps B. Dot was just more prepared for what his opponent would bring to the fight. Either way, through the use of steely hometown bars, thoro (“I gotta do ya, send a shot into ya, this is Black love, Brown pride, Shaka Zulu meets Montezuma!”) raps, aggressive punchlines and toss in some nifty (“You don’t know what that means bro, you just a gringo who go wherever the green go!”) Spanish lessons and as far as round 2 and 3, it’s pretty much all B. Dot, showing off his versatility for the dub.

Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “And you talking all this Black power bullshit, that that’s what excites fans, but you still chose Organik over Smack, so you working for the white man!”

Ave defeats Chess

Recap: NOME 6 matchup between Chess and Ave contains almost all the formalities needed for a standout battle: 3 close, competing rounds, a classic 1st round from Ave, relentless punchlines after punchlines, well-loaded gun bars, fiery name flips, aggressive performances and stinging personals that weren’t just limited to each other, but other battler’s as well. Chess, confident and gritty from jump with not only the aforementioned palette mixed in his raps, but also a wide load of young nigga strife and well-versed struggle bars, would make Ave work for his throughout this battle. The young God coming through with a spitfire and (“He gave Mike P the butt of the .50, so he could see how Vivica feel, well this 50 got a Best Friend, he’s singin’ with Olivia still!”) seismic 2nd round after a pretty solid effort in the 1st, that just didn’t have near enough consistency and potency to beat back a haymaker-drenched turn by his opponent. Tied going into the 3rd round, both battlers would turn up the heat, punching with dizzying efficiency, boastful barbs and spicy personals that kept the bout suspenseful. But a surprisingly more condensed Ave would prove to be better in the end, taking the round with a just-as-versatile and steadier turn that was also more lit on (“That gun play ain’t just chatter, I will clap that fucker, come out the Cave wit’ the trey [tray], I feel like Batman butler!”) haymakers.

Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ave – “How he gon’ beat me?, ‘cuz if he disrespecting space in-between us, he gon’ see more than my punches on these stages, the meanest, I’m finna show this, if I hit him in his face they ain’t swingers, niggas soft behind the counter, he like Ace at the cleaners!”

Tay Roc defeats Arsonal

Recap: One round of predominantly nasty gun bars because after all he is the ‘Gun Bar King’. Then a  classic round 2nd of mostly mean, disrespectful zingers to show that, yunno, he could do what the other guy’s known to do and sometimes even better. And finally a 3rd round with a boatload of gritty punchlines and personals to remind you of his versatility and why he’s in everyone Top 10. And in an away game on a stage where his opponent also happened to be the co-league owner, for Tay Roc (while an aggressive and pretty solid Arsonal had his moments, esp. when he was taking shots at Tsu Surf and Shotgun Suge, during the battle), after a debatable 1st round, it doesn’t get much better than this.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Nah, this ain’t no Tay Roc versus legend shit, this me vs. a bitch…look like we running for President!”

Tsu Surf defeats T Top

Recap: Some early points on this battle: 1) This would’ve been a debatable classic if not for the Tsu Surf’s choke in round 3, 2) Surf has to do a better job at handling crowd reactions, it’s something every battle rapper has to deal with and ever since the 2-on-2 battle with Surf & Tay Roc vs. K-Shine & DNA, we’ve noticed that Surf has a hard time dealing with interruptions and 3) Yes, as Loaded Lux proved versus Calicoe, you can still win a battle even with a choke. That being said, this one clearly comes down to the first round as what was setting up to be a dope 3rd round (what with a great start by Surf) got deflated by two slip-ups by the Jersey vet before the aforementioned choke. So all Top had to do was deliver a solid, slip-up free turn, which he did with some hard personals and an ill (“Battle two times a month and you fucking up on your verses, Ha!”) Juvenile impression that showed off Top’s lowkey comical side. 2nd round easily belonged to Surf, despite a dope (tho elongated) turn from Top, it’s a confident Tsunami who dials up a blueprint on how to beat Top what with potent angles on Top’s trap house (“If we gonna rap, let’s rap, only what’s true nigga, like how your mother was on smack waaaayyy before you nigga!”; “She smoked your stash, that’s why you don’t fuck with ya mother!”) duplicity as well as righteous haymakers that more than hit their mark. Onto the first round where the only debate lies, what with both Surf and Top bringing their A-game and landing hard with winsome bars and steely street chatter. A close round with an equal amount of haymakers from each, it’s Surf who edges it with more creative angles, flawless flow, fire punches, a slightly better performance and more originality (in what added up to be a classic) in that Top may’ve bitten a couple of shiners from fellow adversaries Math Hoffa (the ‘Plies’ bar} and Tay Roc (the ‘Spic-n-span’ bar), the latter of whom, ironically, was on stage at the battle. So while the choke in all likelihood prevents this battle from being a contender for ‘Battle of the Year’, this spitfire matchup does nothing to take away from each battler’s top tier status.

Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tsu Surf – “Custodian after school, walking with a mop, Earl Manigualt, i could knock a quarter outta Top!”

Ill Will defeats Charlie Clips

Recap: Nice, close battle between Charlie Clips and Ill Will that could’ve been a lot better if it weren’t for some recycled bars/dry spots by Clips and plenty of filler from Will. Things started off great in round one with both battlers bringing their A-games. A cohesive Clips came nice with feisty set-ups/schemes and dope (“I be in my crib with all types of guns, in a heavy zone, today should I go with the .4 or the .9, I feel like Jerry Jones!”) punchlines that scored aplenty, while making up for a couple of recycled bars from his battle with JC. But the always aggressive Will came one better, starting out with an ill rebuttal to Clips’ ending ‘Kermit’ line and despite a handful of pedestrian bars, more than enough haymakers to take the round. Round two was more of the same…from Will, crazy performance bars, intense (“I’ll let ya uncle feel [Phil] the right, nah he don’t want these hands, then you’ll see Clips from Will’s pops like Why he don;t want me man!“) wordplay that hit hard and feelgood (“Why did you become a vegan awhile ago and you getting fatter?!”) personals that more than rubbed the funny bone–easily enough to beat a mostly dry turn from Clips and take the first two rounds. Thanks in part to Will Smith (who would’ve loved this battle considering how much his name and career was toyed with steady throughout) and an inconsistent Will, Clips managed to avoid getting 3-0’d, returning to basics with fiery schemes and potent (“Is Yaktown in this bitch? [points to dude in Will’s crew], you stand behind him because that’s your family nigga, well nigga’s die every day behind the wheel [Will] B, that’s word to Brandy nigga!”) bars to salvage the round and battle.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ill Will – “Hit him with a cig, ‘notha cig like you need the cancer, if I come knocking with a lil Roscoe, you better let Gina answer!”

JC defeats Craig Lamar

Recap: Another solid (“This queer try with me, pure irony, fuck apologies, I mean why would I patch things up when I could give him more A-Rs [ARs] than a weird pirate speech!”) turn by Craig Lamar gets upended by a more (“Bitch, I’ll lift the .4 like a Simpson waving!”) potent and versatile flow of spitfire bars/schemes from JC, who easily takes the first couple of rounds with confident and consistent (“Y’all see why I don’t debate with these nigga’s?, it’s not worth it, nigga’s will still criticize the form if the shot perfect!”) ether, before getting edged out to a more cohesive and (“Big Red how I toss the coward, then hang him off the tower, like ‘Yeah little nigga, what’s my office hours?!’“) thematic Lamar in round 3.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “But since you still here, I don’t believe in this clip stuff, how you squeeze and let clips bust?, I’m waiting, I got scary patience, Gary Payton, the first nigga [throws fist like punch] sneak will get zipped up!”

Chess defeats Th3 Saga

Recap: Chess versus Th3 Saga is like an hour long, but worth about every minute, especially if you appreciate not only a dope, competitive rap battle, but in this case the underlying themes of young, intellectual, urban street ethos vs. spiritual-laden Hip-Hop (sorta) elder statesman with a loaded dose of introspection to the bars. Then too, this battle stands out for presenting a rare case of having not just one, but two classic rounds in it. First, there’s Saga’s mega-lit 1st, an explosive turn that was littered with spicy faith-based punches and a load of head-ringing (“Steams, just make sure your man is good, boy my etiquette’s nice!”; “Pound Chess and throw him the deuce…Sammy Sosa!”) haymakers, making it not only a memorable turn, but unfortunately for Saga, a round so spitfire that he would have a hard time repeating as the battle proceeded.

And while, the ever-lyrical Chess came through with an opening round that contained enough (“A clip from these ratchets dumping will fuck you for life, like two girls with one cup!”) heaters to beat most opponent rounds, in this case there was just no way he’d have enough to overtake Saga’s unbridled heat. Round two saw Saga continue to bring it, tossing out real-life (“Talking about I don’t know the struggle when I was raised from it!”) shiners and fire schemes with focused abandon, but also an elongated turn that had a little more filler than his 1st. However, this wouldn’t matter in the long run as Chess would offer his own version of a classic round, actually getting better as the proceeded as proven here via a barrage of wicked (“Get dog-tagged, we’ll see who’s on top of the food chain when this man is neck-less [necklace]!”) wordplay, in-ya-face smack talk, witty barbs, steely (“Saga, why we gotta die to see heaven?”) rebuttals to his opponent’s spiritual-leaning adages and percipient dalliances on the (“Cutting squares out of the towel just to make extra washcloth’s!”) struggles within AnyHood, USA.

A highly competitive and spitfire battle going into the 3rd, while Saga again proved formidable in the final and deciding round with a solid showing of fiery (“Act up, and I’ll black and drag dog in a round like he stole from Martin!”) punchlines and potent darts, the Christian battle rapper would hurt himself a bit when he became too redundant with his themes ane too flagrant with his non sequitur’s (like comparing Chess’ rap style to Steams). On the other hand, Chess consistently stayed on point in round 3, mixing in some fire wit and personals themed around how much he didn’t want this battle, but more importantly, scoring endlessly with potent gun bars, gritty (“Fucking jerk-off, you really feeling yourself too much, you really willing to die for nothing!?!”) set-ups and more of that dope (“Nigga’s always swear they talk to me, but nobody see’s me, I’m an imaginary friend!”) wordplay to earn the win.

Verdict: Chess (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chess – “Get all 3 of y’all, bury DNA then replace T with K, that’s what I do to a bird, man [Birdman] respek [respect] it!”

Ill Will defeats Rum Nitty

Recap: Great job by Smack predicting a dope one before the battle as Rum Nitty and Ill Will came through with three fire, highly competitive, aggressive and haymaker-drenched rounds to not only warrant the URL league owner’s faith in them, but makes this one an arguable classic. That said, under normal circumstances and in a nod to how (“I was up in the hotel, loading rounds for cousin, big rounds I’m stuffing, they say Ill in the lobby, I grab the nose running, I’m coming down with something!”; “Steel out, hop out the van with that flying, the stick bodying Will [stick body in wheel] that’s a handicap sign!”) exquisite he was with the gun bars and mayhem (and even a few wily personals) throughout this matchup, Rum Nitty wins this battle. But clearly motivated and hyped (a little too hyped actually what with that strange 3rd round faux ‘press conference’) during the entire battle, a more versatile Ill Will, stunting with his own barrage of head-twisting (“Foldin’ yo’ whip, .22 to your daughter, .44 to yo’ bitch, then I give you a ring from another number like, ‘Bro’ I let my phone in your whip!'”) heat, piercing name flips/schemes, well-finessed wordplay, dizzying personals, witty darts and raucous (“My nigga Ray, from Finkle, Dan Marino bullets, accuracy no leeway, shit got his head hangin’ out the window while he driving…Ace Ventura on the freeway!”) punchline after punchlines with very few dry spots in-between, somehow manages to edge (call it a classic) a sublime-on-both-sides 1st round as well as an almost-as-spicy 2nd to get the win, before a debatable 3rd that was partly due to Will being a bit longwinded with his raps.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ill Will – “Come outside and stack in my face, I’ll let a shell burst, break your hands and turn them C’s the other way…[turn to] Jaz you want a Chanel purse?!”

Cortez defeats Bigg K

Recap: As the old sports adage goes: ‘This is why you play the game’. Surmising that very few (outside of his hardcore fans) had Cortez winning this match against an elite punchline feen like Bigg K (not to mention a shorter time limit that strategically speaking clearly works in K’s favor), Cortez steps back in vet mode, reminds everyone of his ‘Top Tier’ status in the game and pulls off the win. First round is close with K aggressively (“You more than fake, gassed at a quarter tank, got your wife’s hair [hare] in my lap like the tortoise race!”) punching and name flipping with persistent fire, but a confident looking Tez gives it right back with fiery (“Fuck you, s*ck my dick, yeah I said it G, honky, blow on a sack [sax], who said Kenny G?!”) wordplay and stifling (“Everybody want to be Blood, till there’s a trail of that!”) bars that continuously landed in what turned out to be a flawless turn. Despite Cortez going longer with another (“I taught you everything you know K, I gave you tips, you obey, they put Duke on court…makes sense, I used to coach K!”) hardbody round, a higher bar quotient along with more scintillating (“Bounce, I’m unruly, two hands on one uzi, this clip will bring the bitch out Cort [court]…Judge Judy!”) punches and potent personals gives the still-drenched-in-unsportsmanlike-conduct Bigg K the second round easy. Going into the last round tied, K pretty much gives up the round (and as it turned out, the battle) surprisingly stopping short (or choking) after like half a minute of spitting, leaving his only chance of winning coming via his opponent choking. But Tez (who outside of writing a little too much per the time limits, clearly prepared well for his battle), delivers a solid (“Yeah nigga, so what, you want it, yeah? high shots, five shots, why?, I ain’t choke but why not?, this is a body on cam, now y’all get it…white cop”) round with nary slip-up, to pull off the victory.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bigg K – “Listen here Julio, I don’t care who you know, I hope Trump builds that wall and it can keep you out the studio!”

T Top defeats Math Hoffa

Recap: A somewhat surprising Math Hoffa choke and T Top’s relentless personals and hard-hitting punches in rounds 2 and 3 gives the Parklife colonel a victory in this quasi-dope 3-rounder from Smack/URL. Math, who still showed up and can’t be knocked for being a little distracted considering he had a baby that same morning, edged round one with a more condensed and (“4 glocks, catch this fat nigga in the coke spot, twist him with all 4 burners, that’s how you stove Top!”) hard barfest that hit at a higher ratio than Top’s (“They called me, say Math trying to get back on Smack, I said ‘cool’, I’m used to putting nigga’s back on smack!”) storytelling-drenched, but elongated and laborious 1st round. Round two was a clear body for Top, who while continuing to dish hard on old themes/name flips associated with his opponent, mixed in some more recent drama surrounding Math (i.e. Chris Unbias and Taxstone beef) and niftly threw in his renowned drug talk with urban (“Glock 40, can you read the serial Math?, if not I’ll jam the numbers in ya head, that’s Miracle Math!”) street flair to easily even things up (the aforementioned Math choke non-withstanding). With momentum on his side going into the last round, Top went for the kill and more than delivered, spouting a brutal, edgy and classic turn via seismic (“I bet he ain’t been the same since the Arabs whooped him, now when he in all the corner stores, it feel like the all the Arabs looking, hey the bitch won’t even order a sandwich if the Arabs cooking, he go to the Popi store and say the Arabs crooked!”) haymakers, aggressive (“You went to Cali without your gun?, that’s a bad move, you always supposed to carry your one, that’s a Math rule!”) personals and fiery (“…BOW! That’s for getting stole in the mouth!”) performance bars to beat what was an at times funny and (“Nigga, suck a dick, just like your mother used to do, to get another hit!”) solid, but ultimately a little too laborious turn by Hoffa. Hopefully Hoffa, who seemed to be hinting at quitting battle rap at the end of this battle, can come back less distracted while getting the match-ups he really wants/deserves, if he chooses to return.

Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I told NuNu I wanted Top, she ain’t understand!”

Riggz defeats Brixx Belvy

Recap: A raucous, punch/wordplay-heavy, gun bar-friendly and perfectly executed 1st round from Riggz makes the difference here in this competitive and fiery 3-rounder from Bullpen Battle League. Indeed, while Brixx Belvy upped the ante and delivered a couple of consistently spicy, witty at times, personal-savvy and punchline-lit turns in the latter rounds, his Team Wordplay opponent kept it just as tight with a gang of gritty barbs, fire set-ups and stinging mayhem/punches of his own, making for two debatable rounds while allowing Riggz to hold onto his lead for the win.

Verdict: Riggz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Riggz – “You hustle, Brixx”, let me find out that you did squeal, I’ll give you 20 from this .16…that’s my New Years deal!”

Gwitty defeats K.O.

Recap: After edging the first round here against K.O. with overall more potent (“I’m cooking raw, well done, cans rung, stupid bullets out of nowhere…he ran dumb [random]!”) bars, Gwitty’s unorthodox flow and shout-rap style reaches overwhelming heights in a stellar round two that sees bar after bar dished with pointed (“Another pussy eating a big ratchet…get Ya Boy Clipped!”) flair and rich (“Buck 50 ya jawline, that change hang low from ya jibs, ya dig?!”) pedigree. And it’s needed too as after an inconsistent 1st round, a consistently hyper and swiftly snapping K.O. gets better (“I’ve been hood all my life, my mom’s showed me how to rip the top off the Chinese tray to make an extra plate!”) and better as the battle goes along, taking the 3rd round (“You and your homies, the dot’s will find a way to stitch up his face…you gonna be the newest emoji!”) easily after a solid turn by Gwitty–but by then it’s too late.

Verdict: Gwitty (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Gwitty – “URL give me all bread, get shot with a Norbes, a bald head, Smack got more in the vault…like Cortez!”

Presidential Dubz defeats Fettuccine 20

Recap: They both rapped really well. A 50-minute PG battle between fellow East Harlem-nites Fettuccine 20 and Presidential Dubz is highlighted by a (“You in danger, running from the grip, we in different zones!”) haymaker-drenched, no filler, performance-stunting, wordplay Dubz easily taking the first round, before a little less condensed, yet punch and wordplay heavy (“I’m fucking this esay up, my grammar bad!”) as well as fiercely scheming Fetty edges the 2nd over a still fire, but not-quite-as-nice-as-his-1st Dubz. The deciding 3rd round saw both Fetty and Dubz continue their raucousness, with both battlers punching hard, getting a little personal and even throwing a couple of random shots at noted hypeman Gwitty, looking on from the crowd and enjoying the attention on himself. But it’s a slightly more versatile and a little more stronger with the bars Dubz who earns the vic at the end of this altogether competitive and fire battle.

Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “Nigga, I got Spanish nigga’s riding with Razors like we keep a scooter!”

Ave defeats Rum Nitty

Recap: With two exhilarating, punch-drunk rounds as well as arguably the greatest 1st round in battle rap history, there’s really not much you can say negatively about Rum Nitty versus Ave (credit to Smack for predicting this battle could be a classic before it even started). A super-lyrical punchfest from jump, it’s a boastful (“But you ain’t in the streets at all, you bum, your heart not strong enough to run that base…you John Q son!”) and also packing Ave who opens things up and sets the bar high with a classic 1st round that provided textbook 101 material on what incredibly astute (“I stash that fifth, and beat the foul out ya, then point it at the back of your head: that’s Alfalfa!”) wordplay with the proper research and Hip-Hip embedded cultural moxie can separate the top tiers from the rest of the crowd. But not to be outdone and already a noted punchline feen in his own right, Arizona’s Rum Nitty (making his first appearance on the URL stage) would not only prove why he didn’t need a PG with his own turn of rapid haymakers via flexing (“If I whip the piece, your family fucked, headshot your mom’s sister, they gon’ have to M-O-P your auntie up!”) punches after (“If I raise, shit sparkin’, I let that bitch go “blaka,” nigga… like he Facebook stalking!”) punches, but with little to no filler of his own and roundhouse screeds that had the house jumping, the West-coast battler would serve enough heat and frenetic gun bars to make the opening round a draw.

The rare epic battle that was little on personals or schemes or freestyles, had zero rebuttals or much in the way of performance-heavy bars, when it came down who’d take the latter two rounds it was really just a matter of who could punch better. And lack of versatility aside, the 2nd and 3rd rounds still served up a couple of spitfire, competitive turns from both battlers. But with little room for error considering his opponent’s ability to consistently rain down (“That’s child play, the Internet diggin’ this fuckin’ clown, you think you Pac? well, try to be Digital Underground!”) haymakers with steady ease, it’s Nitty’s 2nd round that would be the difference-maker here what with a handful of reaches and subpar punches that allowed Ave to outpoint him. The final round, another classic turn with both battlers on their A-game saw a more condensed Nitty doing just enough (“And on sight, I’ll pick you off, like they photo-flagged him, I’m known for that, mid battle, a 40 clap, that shit will stop Ave dead in a round like a cul-de-sac!”) punch-wise to also force a draw against an opponent who was just relentless throughout the battle, would only add to this battle being one of URL’s best ever.

Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ave – “See, that’s why we’re different, geek, ‘cuz see I’ve been about the action, 30 under the 40…that’s an improper fraction!”

Rum Nitty defeats Danja Zone

Recap: Mostly punch-heavy and at times personal-lit effort from Danja Zone. But in this competitive 3-rounder from URL, Rum Nitty would prove to be too much. The Arizona battler consistently scoring with dizzying wordplay, a gang of intricate punches, brolic gun lines and fiery gun bars/personals/name flips that included a flawless round 2 (i.e. classic) which when you added it all up amounted to a Gentleman’s 30.

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “You my nigga, but I’ll give it to you, blade get stuck in a friendZone like how the bitches do you!”

Chilla Jones defeats Th3 Saga

Recap: Don’t let the final score fool you as besides the 2nd round, this matchup between Chilla Jones and Th3 Saga was pretty close. Yet, with a confident Chilla going for a more straightforward approach to unleash a wide array of scintillating (“Deuce, deuce near me, say I won’t shoot, dare me and get a buck from under the pillow like the tooth fairy!”) punchlines, delicious (“You wanna scrap Now or Later?, you and your homies can come box, I be punching like Mike and Ike, these Jawbreakers hit your Chiclets and then your Gum drops!”) schemes, nice angles and finally, some well-equipped (“I want y’all to count how many times he look at that pussy!”) personals that more than delivered in the 3rd round, Saga’s nicest (“Well I’m Adam,  EVEn if Sir Pen [serpent] nice, I’m still talking to a snake!”) punches and more fluorescent bars were either (“I’ll kill JC for the bread…do not Wonder!”; “Tell Danny what’s a Bar God to someone that literally writes God’s bars!”) indirect or too often surrounded by lackadaisical filler to keep up with Jones’ consistency and versatility overall.

Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “This was greatly ill-advised, you sent you on this stupid mission, y’all seen me son Day’s vest, now I tailored these bars to suit a Christian, you’ll die walking under this ladder, it ain’t a superstition, so many bodies on a mag, shit looking like a swimsuit edition!”

DNA defeats Danja Zone

Recap: DNA uses an exquisite palette of feelgood (“…yellow tape surround the block, weave the punch, counterblock”) schemes, cunning (“I’m old school, Aviator, these two 4’s, your favorite Laker, when these meals come out, it ain’t a Baconator!”) wordplay, witty personals, ill angles and fiery (“For them Knicks you’ll get robbed Early in Queens, this is not Uber!”) punchlines to beat Danja Zone, who at (“Don’t even think to compare him to this beast from Maryland, they ain’t seen a fly nigga drop bombs since Tuskeegee Airmen!”; “Right after I body Shine, that’s Bruce Leroy!”) times merited his consensus Battler of the Year acclaim, but overall settled for too much filler. That, along with his opponent’s incredible consistency and robust performance, made for a surprising 3-0 from DNA.

Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0

Favorite line: DNA – “See, we used to think you was tough when you was fat, but all that disappeared, I used to think the old Zone [ozone] would lay a han don me, but now all I see in him is fear”

Nu Jerzey Twork defeats Ripp

Recap: Nu Jerzey Twork scores a rare bodybag, consistently using ferocious (“Sit your black ass down before I let my hawk speak, rip [Ripp] clothes on stage…Five Heartbeats!”) name flips, winning (“Fuck you and that bitch, that’s my fave phrase, machete on me, K on me, I gotta stay safe, Ripp get the K on sight, she get —-, I let it rip, once I let it rip, I give ya bae babes!”) schemes, fierce (“Drive-by, I’m coming to Ripp [rip] city in a Trailblazer!”) punchlines, rich angles/set-ups and even exposing Ooops sound-alike (and build-alike)/opponent (“You brought all them niggas from Trenton with you, you knew you wasn’t gonna make it alone, it looks bad for all these niggas…like the interviews with Raven-Symone!”) Ripp with pictures from a less ‘gangsta/precaher’ profession. And what with host Jaz da Rapper in the building along with a classic first round from Twork, one can guess that this was one the of the battles that impressed folks enough to eventually bring Twork to the URL stage.

Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “All that preaching just to be another nigga to die, you living a lie, I talk about guns because my Mac pack rounds…and Rosa Parks ain’t do shit but sit her black ass down!”

Bigg K defeats Math Hoffa

Recap: In layman’s terms, if Math Hoffa (understandably) is tired of hearing opponent’s use name flips on him, then veteran battle rapper that he is, he should certainly be able to understand white battle rappers who long tire of hearing lazy race angle’s used against them. Now onto the battle, Bigg K with steady (“It’s just me and the piece, I don’t meditate, bust his head to the white meat, that’s how I segregate!”) punches that landed well versus an albeit hard at times, but filler-prone turn from Math…took round 1. Raising his bar quotient with a better mix of more hard-body rhymes and fiery (“I still got that axe, I give nigga’s the grimy side, the scar will heal [heel] and bubble like an AirMax ’95!”) bully bars, Math evened things up in the 2nd by pummeling an up-n-down round by Bigg K. After that? All Bigg K. Saving his best round for the last, K just went straight in, putting aside his usual assortment of rapid punches for a most-likely embellished, but still entertaining, hard-hitting and (“You put the smack! in Smack, then the Knocked Out in KOTD!”) truth-telling round surrounding Math’s recent fight after his battle versus Dizaster that you could feel through the screen. And apparently, Math felt it too, stumbling to rebuttal K’s stirring personals at the start of his 3rd before seguing to his written’s that contained some nice struggle bars, but which if you’ve seen enough Bigg K battles versus black guys, when it comes to polemics concerning race, we’ve heard enough times before.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bigg K –  “Ever since that happened, our conversations getting hell’a short, it’s like he mad at me ‘cuz I didn’t teleport!”

B. Magic defeats Daylyt

Recap: Having long carved a niche as an antic-prone performance artist as much as he is a battle rapper, Daylyt is that lone top tier rhyme-slinger where a win-loss record really doesn’t matter. Indeed, as long as you get your money’s worth, at this point who cares about which Daylyt shows up, much less if he wins or losses? The guy pretty much does what he wants, the fans love him and if you’re a league owner who cares about his bottom line, you’d be hard-pressed not to book him on your platform. So whether it’s the rapper’s rapper who, ski-mask or no ski-mask, can go toe-to-toe with the likes of Pass or Mike P. or the dude who takes a dump on stage or the dude who just ups and quits (vs. Rone) on a battle or the dude who brings out Loaded Lux impressionists for a laugh and does a fantastic Morpheus slow-motion impression (as he does here against B Magic, who with consistently spicy punchlines in both of the opening rounds, took the win) that coupled with his crew’s performance and some witty/esoteric punches, makes for a classic, jaw-dropping 3rd round while verifying that Quill is never not entertaining.

Verdict: B Magic (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B Magic – “From the Louiee, I’m Gucci, watch how I design a flow!”

Dizaster defeats Gjonaj

Recap: Long accused of being a Dizaster clone, Gjonaj finally gets to battle the man himself in this 3-rounder from KOTD. 1st round is close with Gjonaj airing fiery (“You’ll never get it together, stop trying, stick to being Lebanon-violent”) punchlines along with nice schemes in his noted rambunctious style. But a more amped-up than usual Dizaster comes right back with steady (“Time for you to face your master, your name is gjnalaggg[unintelligible]”) jokes, animated personals and repeated bully (“This Christian could die, I’ll put your wings in the sky like a Batman signal!”) bars to edge the round. After admitting to stealing a Diz bar in an earlier battle, the second round sees Gjonaj surprisingly choke, giving Dizaster an easy lane to steamroll him with a wicked impression of his opponent and more funny (“It’s Yassar Arafat in a New Era hat!”) wisecracks on Gjonaj’s style and persona. Credit Gjonaj for getting his mojo back in the 3rd round (arguably the best round overall of the battle) with the Detroit rapper delivering some winning (“We should’ve battled on the rooftop, cuz’ you ain’t had a decent punch since Billy Boondox!”) personals and feelgood punches, while Dizaster continued to score points with stinging performance (“You cats act like me till you have a crap like me, then your personality is revealed, one [lifts fist up] Sandy hook on the stage will prove this Dizaster isn’t real!”) bars and seismic wordplay to steal the round and score a 3-0.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “I am jealous of you, ‘cuz I could never get a cab driver like you, shit your cab drivers drive you to the battle then walk inside the venue and stand beside you”

B Magic defeats KG The Poet

Recap: Kicked off by one of the best first rounds you’ll ever see in battle rap, KG The Poet and B-Magic put on a barfest for the Smack/URL West coast crowd. Except for possibly rhyming too long, KG’s opening round was pure fire with fierce (“Yeah your bars is top tier, but your actual punches? them shits in the actual proving ground”) personals, damning name flips and righteous gun (“That chop…got a kick…strong as une botte, the goons out to stomp you out, you’ll see nuthin’ but Jordan’s Chuck Taylor’s and tube socks, that’s different kicks!””) bars being spat at a blinding clip. Indeed, it’d take an epic round to top KG’s first and Magic delivers with stupendous (“Me and Ooops don’t shoot clowns, we ain’t equal till kg see 2.2 pounds”) haymakers, intoxicating wordplay and of course, a steady stream of crazy (“Scope biggest bitch from the roof, I’m Higher Learning ya!”) punchlines that would leave most opponents dazed and confused. With nowhere to go but down on the intensity and competitive tenacity in round 2, both battlers still brought the heat. KG continued to make waves with an intense flow backed by robust (“Before you get cooked, get wet with the bread like French toast!”) bars, while B Magic put forth a more cursory round that still had (“This not a battle, I’m rapping strong for it, this more like spoken word because I’m snapping on Poet”) a solid impact. Tho he still managed to drop some gems (“Even tho I had to profit from it, I still hate the brown more than Donald Trump!”) here and there, a little too much pontificating and less flavorful bars hurt KG in the last round, more than enough for Magic to get the dub with more profound bars and some spine-tingling (“I will spike ya moms drink, making the Bill Cosby face, then proceed to choke ya Bird like Doctor J!”) wordplay.

Verdict: B-Magic (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B-Magic – “You’ll get drugged in the back like Walgreens!”

JC defeats Big Kannon

Recap: JC versus Big Kannon on RBE is no doubt entertaining throughout, but also a bit weird (Big Kannon free-styling an entire 2nd round after being so competitive with his written’s in the 1st) at times, over-friendly (two Writer’s Bloque dudes battling each other, we get the respect for each other’s lyrics, but still enough with the compliments) and over-the-top (yeah, that was BK mimicking JC’s infamous pop-lock video onstage in the 3rd). Thus, it’s probably a good thing that JC took this battle more seriously than his opponent, who essentially only (BK: “Now dude stop, give me one reason why you the king of this, you only kill when you battling bums, that’s when you seem to spit, so now he the Ice Cube of the group, and my meaning is ‘cuz you get no credit for writing all that easy [Eazy] shit!”) showed up for two rounds. That’s proven by a consistently superb pen game by the Michigan rapper that reached its peak in a spitfire 3rd round that exemplified JC’s stinging ability to (“Kannon, you know what’s up, get him stabbed while the camera rolling…bonus cuts!”) punch, name flip and dish potent heat on top of some incredible wordplay with the best of them.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “It’s all will, I’ll approach him, all steel, tell him wish his family well, then have him staring down that .357 like when he stands on a scale!”

Dizaster defeats Dumbfounded

Recap: Dizaster: “I don’t need race jokes”…then proceeds to spout mostly race jokes. West-coast vets Diz and Dumbfounded (who to be fair also kicked a plethora of Muslim barbs throughout the battle) meet up on KOTD for 3 hilarious/high energy rounds and it’s a close one with a whole slew of fiery (Diz: “His name is Dumbfoundeed, but he’s also known as Hannibal Lecter when he’s at the animal shelter!”) personals, lyrical darts, witty (Dumbfounded: “You thought I was gonna call you something like a cab driver, that’s stupid as hell, it’s 2015 you drive an Uber XL!”) bangers and fierce punchlines. But after an equally hysterical first from both battlers, the ever-aggressive Diz separates himself from his longtime rival with more haymakers as well as a gang of piercing rebuttals and amiable freestyles in the latter two rounds that allows the man from the Rising Sun to win the battle.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Dizaster – “You ain’t the type of Asian guy to throw a giant fireball, you the type of Asian guy that I would call if I needed help installing my firewall!”

Tay Roc defeats Calicoe

Recap: You say what you want about Tay Roc’s affinity for gun bars, but the fact is the guy can rap and you don’t become the face of URL/Smack if you weren’t able to dish out so many exquisite bars, much less have so many of your peers feening to battle you. Trust the process. Summer Madness. A battle long in the waiting ever since Roc dissed Calicoe while he was right there on stage, during his tide-turning battle versus Rich Dollarz not too long back. Round one certainly had plenty of replay value what with Roc tossing salacious gun darts and belittling punches/schemes (natch on the turkey/’turducken’ bars) reckless abandon and only being edged by a more versatile, perfectly-executed, (“See, you just talk them gun bars, then rap about how your shotty spit, I talk that Big Cat, Big Meech and Maserati Rick…they call me Calicoe, but it ain’t the first gun I caught a body with!”) cadence-friendly and bar-potent Calicoe. Second round sees an undeterred and even more aggressive Roc still dishing rampant heat, but also mixing it up a bit with some witty (“Now I ain’t gonna say you was skinny-dipping with nigga’s, but in that picture you was skinny-dipping with invisible bitches!”) personals and a nice rebuttal to beat back a solid, but not near as formidable as his 1st round by Calicoe. 3rd and deciding round was another solid turn by both battlers, with Roc changing things up a bit, going more personal than usual while also hitting with some fiery wordplay and dope (“I clap it till it got a temperature, that’s a scary sight, I’mma wind up in a cell, See us [Celsius], ain’t fair in height [Fahrenheit]!”) gun bars/punchlines. On the other hand, Calicoe, while dishing tru-isms on his hustler days, bully (“He on this stage talking like he don’t love to live!”) bars and his opponent’s love for weaponry, hurt himself a bit with redundant themes on Roc joining Dot Mob and a few pedestrian bars that didn’t quite line up with his steady vigor. Thus, give a more consistent Roc the edge at the end.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Smack fuck with me ‘cuz I son these nigga’s…and sign them over to custody!”

Chilla Jones defeats Prep

 

Recap: In front of a raucous Smack/URL crowd, “The Kingpen” uses lofty name flips, spirited personals, some witty schemes, wicked wordplay and rapid punchlines to score a 30 on Prep. Indeed, while the well-dressed spitter from Maryland got better with his punches as the battle proceeded, Prep’s angles were too often ubiquitous and that’s when he wasn’t dishing standard heaters that just weren’t as nice as he might’ve thought when he first wrote them up. Add to that, a Chilla Jones with excellent stage presence and a more condensed package suited squarely for the big stage, even if he wasn’t dressed as nice for the fight, Jones’ return to Smack is still a memorable one.

Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “This a fucking mismatch, them even putting me against you, I’m nice with the grammar see [Gramercy], that’s why they booked me for the venue!”