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Conceited

Chilla Jones defeats Conceited

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Recap: Conceited and Chilla Jones put on a solid battle in this main event matchup for KOTD. Got Chilla edging what turned out to be the best round for both battlers, the first, what with Mr. Jonas showing more consistency and versatility in his raps along with some aggressive (“Everything I holla graphic [holographic], I make the card shine!”) punchlines and (“You so small, I bet your rounds is short”) jokes thrown in. No doubt Conceited, after gamely attempting to predict the final word on each of Chilla’s rhymes, didn’t lack for confidence while putting forth a pretty dope round himself with some exquisite (“Being around all them K’s will bring the bitch out this nigga like Bruce Jenner!”) wordplay, feelgood Empire bars and a couple of ill slow-it-downs. But for some lulls within his turn, Con might’ve taken the round. Despite a slip-up, round two was pretty much all (“Nigga I’m the reason you rap the way you spit now, that flow is like Stephen King because I gave you IT, clown”) Conceited, who spouted out an ill Family Matters scheme that proved to be the top attraction of the round. Tied after two, Chilla dominated the final round, going long and heavy on the fiery (“He ain’t gonna grip a gat, and he ain’t gun-slinging, let Con vent, he got nuns singing, it’s like Sister Act”) punchlines and hard personals, while Con struggled with bars that apparently looked better on paper than they did when mouthed in the air.

Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “I heard you did a drive-by and niggas legs was breaking”

Conceited and Dumbfounded (DEBATABLE)

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Recap: A couple of Grind Time vets known for their potent bars, jokes and witty punchlines, one couldn’t expect anything less than an entertaining match between the returning Dumbfounded and Conceited. Overall. Dumbfounded focuses on ready-to-order short (“You buy your guns at Baby Gat”) jokes, hitting personals and excellently turned Con’s renowned “Slow-it-Down’s” back on him without repetition. While Con goes for Asian jokes, nice schemes, a couple of Slow-it-Downs and his assortment of wild gun (“I’ll let the weapon give you hell, just like your fortune cookie you could the message from a shell”) bars, some landing, some not-so-much. In the end it’s Con taking the first with more variety along with winning schemes. While Dumbfounded edged the second round with a wider (“You gave imaginary guns, some peopel have mandatory ones”) array of fiery bars. Both scored pretty evenly while leaning heavier on the personals (Con: “You mad cuz my vies are climbing mils? I know that shit was driving him crazy like with you behind the wheel”) in round 3, but with neither really landing a haymaker, call it even.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Dumbfounded – “He got 3 hot tubs at the cirb…all sinks”

Bigg K defeats Conceited

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Recap: After getting edged in round 1 thanks to a shortened turn that even a so-so and elongated, but punch-heavy at times Conceited was able to sneak past, Bigg K turns it up in the latter rounds of this 3-round Ether battle (which btw had some fire visuals) with a gang of mocking personals, some killer schemes (most notably, the MTV show’s roundhouse in round 2) and flexing punchlines for the win against an opponent who by the middle of round 3 was so surprisingly pedestrian with the bars that even the booing crowd wasn’t having it.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bigg K – “Stop lying about how you fire tools and your hammer tucked, pussy, you short enough to tie ya shoes while ya standing up!”

B. Magic defeats Conceited

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Recap: One of, if not the most anticipated battle of 2014, B-Magic versus Conceited turns out to be a goodie, especially with a frenzied crowd that was tuned into every punchline, scheme and so-so bar. 1st round, easily the best of the bout, would set the tone early on with a confident Magic dropping consistently spicy punch after punch with rich abandon and timely slices of wit. While the veteran Con would standup to his opponent with an equal fervor via hitting (“Twin guns, I’ll fill drums and you’ll lift them both, I’m the type to raise up two black 4’s to nigga’s like Different Strokes!”) punches/gun bars, jaunty personals and piercing wordplay. After a close opening round (edged here to the performance-heavier Con), however, things would begin to separate a bit as frankly speaking, Magic just kept his knee on Con’s neck, never letting up while dishing another barrage of nifty wordplay, gritty (“If you buggin’ you’ll get sprayed, I exterminated groups, metal talkin’, Con’ll run like Terminator 2!”) name flips and consistently spitfire darts to beat back a pretty solid and witty, but a bit topsy-turvy 2nd by Con and doing more of the same in the deciding 3rd to earn the win.

Verdict: B-Magic (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B-Magic – “Who wildin’ out? Magic palmin’ the biscuit, every motherfucker rollin’ behind Con is gon’ feel it, got a pine box in the cemetery, Con should go visit, this bitch is fucked behind these bars: conjugal visit

Conceited defeats Duce

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Synopsis: Not to be on the S.O.N.S. bandwagon or anything, but I just think you gotta be corny or just a hater to diss the “Slow-It-Down”. For one it’s an innovative artform that brought something new to battle rap (which alone should give it respect). Secondly, it takes certain skills to do it and lastly, when done right the shit still works. But like Arsonal says: “Haters Pivot, Winners Travel” and until you work hard and get the type of notoriety and mileage in your passport that recognizes you as an official top tier, new guys like Duce will forever stay in their lane.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Conceited – “That bitch know I gotta have [half] face like the neighbor from Home Improvement”

Conceited defeats Klutch

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Recap: All the way out in Colorado, battle rapper Klutch certainly displays an ability to do heavy research on his opponent, when he’s not showcasing some nice wit with his bars. But with too many basic liners and storied tales on Conceited’s prior battles that we’ve long heard about, overall Klutch isn’t able to overcome Con’s more consistently potent bars, requisite gun lines and linear (“Nigger, you are softer than a Diggy track!”) punches in this one-rounder from Colorado Rap.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Conceited – “Listen Klutch, you know damn well I’ll make that metal spit, with extensions on a ratchet like a ghetto bitch!”

Charlie Clips defeats Conceited

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Synopsis: Charlie Clips better be lucky he’s been in the game so long, because his lack of preparation can still be a head scratcher for such a talented dude. Of course, the first thing you think of when you see Conceited vs Charlie Clips in the first place is why this wasn’t on URL, but whatever. That said, Conceited’s 1st round was straight fire: punchlines galore (“even if he is cocking the 5, this cat…pop in the sky like the lion king”), the Dot Mob diss and the 3rd-tier slow-it-down made for a superb round. But Clips came back nicely with personals, schemes, dope bars and a rebuttal that just murked Con’s original Captain Morgan slow-it-down. After an incredible 1st, Con returned with just an alright 2nd, what with a lame slow-it-down and not much else. On the other hand, knowing that he can always rely on his freestyle ability when he comes to battle rap, Clips easily took the 2nd, dissing Con’s celebrity nut-hugging (“Kim Condashian”), going after Dizaster and throwing out some crowd pleasers that more that won them over. As for the 3rd round, Con, who clearly came more prepared, easily took it with a broad range of bars, jokes (“Nigga, you can get it anywhere, that’s Craigslist”) and punchlines, yet while Clips came with it with the Slow-it-Down (slogans as a weapon) joke, his stumble clearly gave the round away.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1

Best line: Charlie Clips – “Got an oiled gun on my dresser (but) I’ll change it and put the newest clip in, 5 sing and 1 crack head, that’s New Edition

Hitman Holla defeats Conceited

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Recap: A credit to Conceited and Hitman Holla’s popularity that a battle with one of the worst 3rd rounds in history could have over 5 million views. And to think, here we see a vet like Hitman literally giving up a round and trying to make up for it by rehashing some of his own standout lines from past battles followed up by a grandiose puncher like Conceited (who for some reason failed to insert more of his notorious ‘Slow It Down’ bar storms into his raps for this battle) delivering probably his weakest round ever in that same 3rd round?!? Not only was that torturous to watch, but if I was a paying customer I’d be a little upset with these two. That said, Hitman’s hard-flexing, witty, personal-heavy, name flip-spazzing and remix-snapping 1st edges a punchline-lit, but not as performance-heavy turn by Con in the 1st round, before Hitman also takes the 2nd with a more condensed turn that was also surprisingly punch-heavy at times and more consistently spicy then his opponent. Thanks in part to Hitman’s many shortcomings in the 3rd, even with a subpar turn of his own, a non-choking Con gets a final round that his opponent had already handed him.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla –  “You don’t really want that action, you worried about matching!”

Conceited defeats The Kid

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Recap: The straightforward style of Aussie rapper The Kid works best here when he cobines wit with performance as he does in the 3rd round. Other than that Kid’s basic wordplay, as showcased in the early rounds, is no contest for Conceited’s versatile (“In this battle while I’m beating The Kid, this is child abuse!”) name flips and fiery punchlines.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Conceited – “See, thee lesson I’m trying to teach is when that heat squirting and that infra-red beam working, he’ll be another Aussie to die from a ray like Steve Irwin!”

Tsu Surf defeats Conceited

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Synopsis: Conceited versus Tsu Surf easily stands as one of the top 3 battle of 2012. After all, everything was here: fire bars, dope punchlines, (Con: “It’s a good thing you put those rhymes in subtitles ‘cuz nobody wants to hear them!”) personals, hot performance bars, ill schemes, nice-set-ups, stinging wordplay, a close, intimate atmosphere that intensified the battle and even a couple of light rebuttals by Surf. Somewhat debatable altogether, but Surf gets the edge here for these reasons: Surf going toe-to-toe with a punchline feen in Con, less overall filler and more (“Question: ‘If all your money is on your outfit then what the fuck is in your pocket?!'”) bite and versatility with his bars/schemes. That makes for Surf edging the first two rounds, while losing the 3rd because it was too short. Still, credit to both Surf and Con for putting on a great show.

Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tsu Surf – “What you about to say, Jersey lost the Nets?, good nigga, the best shooters still in my hood nigga!”

T-Rex defeats Conceited

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Synopsis: The Punchline King vs. Grown Man Bars. Just don’t let all the hate from anti-Dot Mob crowd fool you. While Conceited’s first round was crazy, I thought Rex edged it by amply taking on Con’s lack of street cred as well as a “resume” that fails to come close to matching all the gun talk Con loves to spit. Then while Con’s 2nd round lacked the consistency and punches that he’s widely known for (too bad for Con that the crowd hadn’t quite gotten his “Slow It Down’s” just yet, but then too they weren’t hitting that hard anyway), Rex came through with a superb “Con” scheme that was just mean (esp. that Kanye line) and hitting throughout. 3rd round was way too long and tepid for both of ’em, so give Rex the ‘W’ for taking both of the early rounds.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Best line: Conceited – “When you rhyme like that, with no punchlines and just spit about throwing them flames out, that style is like Benjamin Buttons, that shit was over when it came out”

Goodz defeats Conceited

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Recap: Conceited is so hit-n-miss with his punchlines throughout this matchup against Goodz, that even if he did manage to drop a couple of nice off-the-dome bars on the huge armpit stains staring at him throughout this battle just begging to be goofed on, it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Indeed, this battle didn’t come down to how crazy nice Goodz as much as how alarmingly corny Conceited, one of the slicker (“Sub zero gave him ICE, it was a fatality”; “I swear Goodz I ain’t gonna front, that name is clever, [but] I’ll get rid of that ‘O Z’ and send you up to the remaining letters”) punchliners around, was at times. From the infamously lame: “And they all bananas, so you better split” performance bar in the 1st round to the lazy “In this battle I’m a Yankees, he the Phillies [philly] that’s why I’m smoking his ass” line in the 2nd, Conceited lack of consistency, much less haymakers left plenty of room for Goodz most entertaining (“It’s crazy, he talk about he poppin’ them things, wow!, but him and his girl go to the mall and they shop in the same aisle!” personals, wittiest “C’mon, you tough?!, well if you do smoke lead, it’s like a dope head, you gotta shoot up”) wordplay and an easy win.

Verdict: Goodz (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Goodz – “I got my name from a bitch, you went to jail and they named you Conceited, he tried to hook off on the low, and got pushed off on the floor, then they caught him in the showers and made him play football with the soap!”

Conceited defeats Jesse James

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Synopsis: Definition of a bodybag. Even worse, word has it James paid for Con to come out to St. Louis so he could battle him. Let’s just hope that if Jesse has kids, they never watch this video of their pops getting slaughtered like this.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 1-0

Best Line: “Even if he living single I’ll run in his crib and dump the desi, kill everybody in that full house, even your uncle, jesse”

Arsonal defeats Conceited

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Synopsis: This is like Arsonal took a trip around the world, found every short joke he could find and brought them all with him to this battle. And it worked for a couple of reasons: this is Grind Time, a battle league where jokes matter over bars and the simple fact that Conceited seemed to put all of his energy for this battle into his classic round one–a great round no less, but too bad for Con this wasn’t a one-rounder.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1

WTF: Conceited’s hype man, who for all the wrong reasons, has gotten as much shine as this battle has–any wonder we haven’t seen him since?

Best line: Arsonal – “I’ll fuck you up physically, no handwork, all kicks”

Conceited and Cortez [DEBATABLE]

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Synopsis: No disrespect to Cortez, who came off with a killer instinct throughout here (esp. the BK scheme in round one), enough gumption to enter the last round with the lead. But you could watch this battle for Conceited’s round 3 alone, one of the Top 10 rounds in battle rap history in my opinion. Breaking down Cortez’s over-the-top “rah rah” style, dropping gems on his losses, getting his entourage to go quiet, exquisite punchlines and dope bars, it’s all there, arguably Conceited at his best.

Verdict: TIE

Best line: Conceited – “See I’m flyer than a cockpit, I pick up cats like a chopstick!”

Conceited defeats Illmaculate

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Synopsis: “And another thing that got me real pissed about you, your nickname’s Ill but besides your health there’s nothing sick about you!”, “Since this battle’s for cheese it’s gonna be Easy Mac”, “When the scope is on it’s like Pokeman, I’ll peek at you and blast toys!”….literally raining down punchline after punchline on an earnest Illmaculate, a fully loaded Conceited catches a body on the Fresh coast and doesn’t leave fingerprints.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 3-0

Best line: Conceited – “Once I let all the guns and the clips blow, for the first time y’all gonna see a Mac running through Windows”

Conceited defeats Tall T

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Synopsis: Tall T (R.I.P.) was always nice, but unfortunately not much comp here against an early Conceited who was clearly at the top of his game, delivering sizzling punchline (“bullets like the letter ‘V’, they coming after ‘U'”) after punchline (“cops wanna handcuff him, stick him in jail, even if I was a SIM card I wouldn’t sit in a cell”) with virtual ease, while putting on a show for a hype crowd that made you forget that Conceited was the road guy.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 2-0

Best line: Tall T – “You talk about it, we actually shoot, dome shots make him do the Chicken Noodle soup! And when comes to pussy, you don’t know what to do, you put yo condom on and balls in it Too!!