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Hitman Holla

Hitman Holla defeats Ill Will

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Recap: From RBE’s Max Out 3 card, a fiery and highly competitive blue room battle between Hitman Holla and Ill Will (with a surprising amount of rebuttals from each battler) ends up going Hitman’s way as after getting edged in round 1 (thanks to a blazing, versatile and more consistent effort from Will) Hitman’s plethora of hard-hitting braggadocious lines, piercing lyricism, agressive punches and gripping personals allowed him to score just enough haymakers and edge both the 2nd and 3rd rounds for the win over an opponent who while still scoring left and right with a boatload of witty personals, fierce gun bars and steely schemes/set-up/punchlines, just wasn’t able to match the blow-by-blow action that he came with in the opening round.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I’m not a walk over, I’m Hitman, I do walk-up’s!”

Eazy The Block Captain defeats Hitman Holla

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Recap: From Chrome 23, Eazy The Block Captain versus Hitman Holla, and yet another battle where you can’t buy into the narratives until you witness the battle yourself. As despite the final score this bout was a lot closer than what you heard about. Indeed, long-known for having killer round 1’s, Hitman came through with another one here. The St. Louis-ATL vet spazzing with a gang of sturdy punchlines, fiery braggadocious lines and festive sport bars that made for a shitload of haymakers to the point that one couldn’t be blamed for thinking that Holla had the opener in the bag. But continuing what’s been an amazing run for the past couple of years or so and helped a bit by a few dry spots from his opponent, using a slightly more consistent barrage of gritty punches, grimy trap talk, sterling basketball references and aggressive heat, it’d be Eazy who managed to edge the 1st. Still, moving forward the battke remained close. As Holla not only came through with another turn that displayed his underrated punching ability, but may have surprised many with a couple of dope rebuttals (that he also showed off in the 3rd). Add to that some spicy personals from Hitman and the battle stayed competitive, despite Holla having a rep for underperforming in the latter rounds. But there went Eazy again, stalking the stage with yet another round of hard-hitting lyrical bangers, deep-cutting/mocking personals, flexing wordplay, witty puns and hardbody haymakers in a more condensed turn that got him the middle roumd as well. Already decided by the 3rd, the final round was more of a talking to by both battlers with the more punch-heavy Eazy taking it to earn the 30. And while mic problems on both sides and Holla whining about the crowd dominated one too many recaps on this battle. None of that (or Eazy’s current drama with URL) should get in the way of Holla putting forth a pretty solid effort overall here or the Philly rapper looking pretty unbeatable right now.

Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “My shooters come from Tubi because they don’t know how to act!”

Calicoe defeats Hitman Holla (Rematch)

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Recap: A much-hyped rematch from their 1-rounder on Snoop Dogg’s short-lived battle league some years back, a buildup captivating, ever confident & street-smart, solid-punching, righteous and personal/gun bar-lit Calicoe, assisted by an elongated, too braggadocios and mostly pedestrian-bar (except for round 2 where his opponent’s bar efficiency was at its best) spitting Hitman Holla, delivers enough consistent heat in the 1st and 3rd rounds to get the win in what was at times a pretty lethargic 3-rounder from RBE’s Max Out 2 card.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Calicoe – “If I come with a team of shooters, I am not playing, number one pick don’t give a fuck what the scout saying!”

Hitman Holla defeats Cassidy

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Recap: Not sure that Cassidy versus Hitman Holla the battle ever had a chance of living up to now infamous faceoff these two just had, but the long-awaited matchup was still a good one. With 3,000-plus battles on his resume and having made hits as recording artist, we all know that Cassidy can rap for days. And the Philly legend proved that once again here with 3 lengthy rounds featuring bar after bar after bar. However, since his return to battle rap the problem with Cassidy remains: he continues to live off of moments (“When you bought those fake teeth, you should’ve bought a smaller size!”), jokes and personals. And in an era where most top tier battle rappers can not only punch hard, but are also either lyrical, performance-heavy, name flip/gun bar-lit, intricate, metaphor/simile/wordplay-rich, angle-savvy, witty, can talk that real street shit, a combination of the few or can create their own, unique lane of battle rap aptitude, with only a couple of attributes to work with and with a knack for dropping way too many pedestrian bars, Cassidy still can’t cut it. And that’s why Cass gets shutout here as a more focused, versatile and condensed Hitman’s ability to excellently retort so many of his opponent’s more hard-hitting personals, win the crowd over at times with some pretty solid wordplay, name flips and punches, score with plenty of boastful barbs and of course, cut up the stage with some performance-friendly stunting gives Ballgame the 30.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “You better watch what you say in your raps, know what I mean Cass?, ‘cuz you could catch a bullet behind those lines like a screen pass!”

Hitman Holla defeats Bill Collector

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Recap: Bill Collector finally gets a chance at revenge with this long coveted battle against Hitman Holla and receives an outcome many in the battle rap world probably didn’t expect: simply put, Holla out-barred him. Yeah, that’s right, the man who made ‘performance’ a category, chose to lean more heavily on his pen to win a battle, using a gang of fiery (“Man, if this nigger ain’t a bitch than please enlighten men, ‘cuz we had Bill running like Clinton in ’93!”) personals, some glistening wordplay, dope name flips, lucid gun bars and potent punchlines to take all 3 rounds and beat a witty (“You did what you did little kid, [points at forehead] but not today, [k]not joking, I am [k]not kidding, I am [k]not to play, [k]not never again, never [k]not, [k]not [k]not I say!” throughout, self-deprecating, sermonizing and performance-rich, but elongated, a bit filler prone and too often Show Out-addressing BC, in an altogether entertaining battle that brought ‘Closure’ to the two combatants longstanding feud.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “All that loudmouth shit, I’m Hitman, I don’t go for it, yeah you lost a fight, well swing now or get over it!”

Hitman Holla defeats Tay Roc

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Recap: Often criticized for lack of bar potency, in this long-awaited 3-round match versus Tay Roc, Hitman Holla proves the naysayers wrong, utilizing a wide array of piercing punchlines along with flexing personals, scintillating name flips and some head-ringing gun lines to take the first two rounds and win this battle. Indeed, while his opponent suffered from way too many redundant gun lines, the usually performance-heavy Hitman seemed bent on taking out Roc with a consistently fiery punch-game. And he did so, which not only kept the crowd buzzing, but even included a fly 2nd round rebuttal. Ironically, it wouldn’t be till the 3rd round that Roc (who long requested this battle) would earn his keep, finally mixing it up more with the heat, but also scoring with some rugged punchlines/personals to edge a solid turn by Hitman and salvage the final round.  

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1  

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I’ll knock Tay out, then pull a K out, and light the whole Cave up like I’m trying to find my way out!”

Hitman Holla defeats K-Shine

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Recap: In an at-times surprisingly one-sided battle from URL’s Summer Madness 6, a punchline-spazzing, fiery-personal dishing and heavy with the mayhem Hitman Holla dominates a mostly subpar and sometimes listless-with-the-pen K-Shine. Not that a confident Holla needed any assistance from his opponent as the St. Louis vet set the tone out the gate with combative (“You told T-Rex you gonna knock him out if he disrespect your baby mama or your daughter nigga…man I’ll fuck your baby mama in front of your daughter, nigga!”) shiners and continuously cutthroat aggression mixed in some feelgood wordplay to easily take the first two rounds with little on the performance end. And while the lyrically sizzling Holla, already with the win in hand, came through with a solid 3rd round, Shine (who was so pedestrian with his bars during the early rounds that he started to get booed in the 2nd) finally found his bag, got in and did enough with stinging performance bars, witty (“You on TV, you supposed to be lit for the cameras, glitz wit’ the glamour, talkin’ to the Wild N Out strippers and dancers, instead, he up there showing his temper with tantrums, all aggressive, talking ’bout gripping his hammer, walking up gettin’ the [EEEEEH!] before he get to the answer!”) barbs as well as some gritty punchlines/personals in a slightly more condensed turn that allowed him to salvage the final round and avoid getting 30’d on battle rap’s biggest event.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “You un-loyal ass bitch, I can’t believe you, you had the nerve to give a fake five to the nigga that used to feed you!”

Hitman Holla defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Considering all the hype over the years at the prospect of seeing Hitman Holla versus Shotgun Suge, this highly anticipated ‘grudge’ match, even with a UDubb crowd that actually seemed to bring a ton of energy to the battle, was overall a bit underwhelming. But blame the participants for that, not the crowd (tho one can’t help to wonder how this battle would’ve played out if it was on URL). After all, three elongated rounds from each battler didn’t help matters and neither did some lame bars and redundant themes throughout the match. Still, it should also be said that both battlers did deliver on some stinging performance bars, fierce gun bars, witty (Suge: “I ain’t saying you fake, but what kind of Hitman listens to Drake ?!”) barbs, fire (Hitman: “That little pocket slide tap, look, that shit wack, that heart shoving shit?, I do not play that…don’t make me fuck up the culture on my first day back!”) braggadocio lines and some very pointed personals. And while there would be no ‘pocket tap’ from Suge and Hitman’s remix (off a fire ‘legally blind’ punch) was pretty lame, overall this was a pretty solid battle with Hitman dropping more haymakers to take the 1st, a debatable 2nd round that was mired with plenty of pedestrian bars from both sides and a more potent, punch-heavy and self-deprecating Holla getting the 3rd for the win.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I don’t gangbang 24/7 ‘cuz my son 11 and he know exactly what them signs mean!”

Hitman Holla defeats KD

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Recap: This one-rounder between a couple of St. Louis spitters with a $1K on the line and Goodz hosting sees Hitman Holla use a barrage of gritty punchlines to make easy work of a slip-up prone KD.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “Don’t get me mad, I’m big-timing, strapped up, I’m big .9-ing. they find ya ass in the woods like you ziplining!”

Hitman Holla defeats Bonkaz

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Recap: Hitman Holla doesn’t do much, withstanding some antiquated bars and even failing to do one of his noted remixes here against UK rapper Bonkaz. But thanks to some rich performance (“I’m on the 7 looking for him, bandanna on the scope, I’ll cook till you melt, I’ll get to flagging down whips like I’m looking for help!”) bars and frenzied schemes as well as a delivery-challenged, monotone opponent who didn’t offer much in the way of crazy wordplay much less dope bars, it’s a pretty easy one-round win nonetheless for Holla.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Hitman Holla –  “Man, I’ll play hide-n-seek with your body, it’ll b e ike World’s War tho times two, you’ll be so lost the cops fuck around and locate a dragonball before they fidn you!”

Hitman Holla defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: “It’s 8 o’clock”. Smh. With all the unprofessional interruptions, bad mics and b/w footage, I guess there are plenty of good reasons why King Juce Battle League got out of the battle rap business pretty quickly. Small battle league problems aside, Hitman Holla and Math Hoffa still put on a pretty good show with plenty of witty barbs, fiery personals, showmanship (esp. on Hitman’s part, what with the ‘gun ), some hot punchlines, fierce braggadocio lines and even a couple of nice rebuttals (esp. Math’s shot at ‘Big Gerald’ in the final round). Tied going into the 3rd, the edge here goes to Hitman, but not so much for what he did do in what was a essentially a solid turn, but for what Math did, which is go on too long with too many pedestrian bars in an elongated turn that would’ve been winnable if it was just more condensed with less filler.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “It’s a known fact that if you strapped, it’ll never ring, [but] if you see me with a hammer, I’m coming to fix everything!”

Hitman Holla defeats Byron Blake

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Recap: Top tier battle rappers get paid to battle no-names all the time, it’s just part of the business. But a dude with battle rap experience, but fresh out of prison from an 8-year bid putting $10K on the line to battle Hitman Holla?!? Well, while that certainly doesn’t happen every day, it definitely speaks to Hitman’s immense popularity and you’d think it’d at least be competitive. The problem for Hitman is, of course, that his verbal acumen doesn’t always match his mass appeal and against a dude with plenty of times to write bars, that could be risky. In this case, after two rounds of dishing aggressive and performance-heavy, but mostly basic bars, Hitman’s lucky that his opponent, Byron Blake, while dipped with plenty of bravado and aggression, really didn’t really put points on the scoreboard till the 3rd round. In other words, a battle with a lotta dough on the line fails to impress and Hitman does just enough to sneak out of there with a win.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I’m still warming up, this just a prefix nigger, Showout!, Hey yo Showout!…see, you ain’t even worth the remix, nigger!”

Calicoe defeats Hitman Holla

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Recap: The Tupac bar was mean, but damn if Calicoe didn’t get his point across otherwise, using some finite hustler talk, gritty personals, steely gun bars and an assertive stage presence to beat back an inconsistent Hitman Holla in this one-round battle from Snoop Dogg’s Gladiator School.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Calicoe – “Snoop sent that money, he went on Instagram snapping pictures, Snoop sent MY money, I went up the hill and bought a package with it!”

Hitman Holla defeats Shotty Horroh

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Recap: SMH at this one. Some weirdo interrupts the match during Hitman Holla’s round one (and apparently got his just due when he got knocked off stage), both Shotty Horror and Hitman suffer from slip-ups and the battle is frequently interrupted by silly time limits (really, esp. if it’s the last battle of the night, just let ’em rap). That being said, Shotty’s too-frequent filler and brief first two rounds didn’t pack enough punch against Hitman’s aggressive (“Drake let me get something straight, I’m um-fucking set, y’all threw me in a dunk contest with a nigga who can’t touch the net?!”) bars, hometown crowd pleasers and fiery performance. Close 3rd round, but Shotty had the best line (“Split personalities, persona disorder, you see how quick man flip?, aye lets just say it’s JFK, there’s still questions of who that Hitman is”) to edge it.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “If Show swing, you’ll land in the crowd, that’s the shit starter”

Tsu Surf defeats Hitman Holla

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Recap: From URL’s Summer Madness 4 card, with what included a fight between the two in the days leading up to the battle, Hitman Holla versus Tsu Surf had to be the most anticipated battle of 2014. And while the battle featured two classic rounds (Hitman’s electrifying 1st round that featured one of his best Showout-assisted remix’s to go along with the 1st non-verbal rebuttal, which he claimed by simply taking his hoodie off in response to a bar Surf said in his opener and Surf’s highly personal and superbly executed punchfest in the 3rd) as well as enough moments (good and bad) to ensure that it’ll be more than just a footnote in SM battle rap history, outside of the opening round (which while a bit short, was still pretty hitting), thanks in part to a bunch of pedestrian bars and some questionable moments by Holla (the lame attempt at a 2nd remix in round 2, the subpar Michael Jackson bars and one too many shots at Shotgun Suge), Surf’s consistent ability to hit with some standout wordplay, witty barbs, fire set-ups (including another dope use of his signature ‘Lock pick the door, Errrrhhh!’ screed) and hard-hitting personals/punchlines was just too much here. The Jersey native taking both of the latter rounds handily (tho Holla did spout some lyrical bangers here and there) to come back and win the battle.

Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tsu Surf – “Your mother was at the game, cardboard colors, fresh signs, my mother was in pain ‘You wanna speak to the inmate, press 9!'”

Hitman Holla defeats Charlie Clips

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Recap: Can’t front, after a pretty basic 1st round that went up against a very (“‘Cuz the last nigger you beat was O-Red, and it was a O-Red that was way off…ok, so the Sixers beat the Pelicans, cool, neither one of y’all making the playoffs!”) witty, basketball-bar heavy, performance rich and scheme-friendly turn by Charlie Clips, it wasn’t looking good at all for Hitman Holla going into the later rounds. But then suddenly Holla flipped the script, starting out with a fiery (“You know what my brother Showout do, keep it up and you gonna have to remove DNA from the ground for real!”) rebuttal in the early part of his 2nd round, that along with some hard personals/punches combined with an aggressive performance edged things for the St. Louis rapper and made it a tie heading into the 3rd. The deciding round was more of Holla upping his verbal game with yet another nice rebuttal, some fly personals, braggadocio shiners and stifling gun talk, all enough to beat back what was a solid, scheme slick and at times funny, but a bit of a lazy turn by Clips, who needed to freestyle to complete his round.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “10,000?!, a nigger owe me $10, I need it, I’m on his doorstep, I’m knocking on his door with a .357 like it ain’t 4 yet!”

Hitman Holla defeats O-Red

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Synopsis: Hitman all day. With arguably his greatest 1st round ever, Holla puts on another tremendous show with bars (“I told Ars send me my bread…and his half too!”, “I’m standing there giving him the Mayweather shoulder”), name schemes and of course, a dope remix to get off to a flying start. And while Red had a good round (that “40 in the club hitting young’uns, it’s a cougar strap” line was nice), pulling a JJDD and attempting copy’s Hitman’s remix was a lame move that came off horribly. After a so-so 2nd round by both rappers (I gave it to Red mostly because HH practically gave it up), Hitman, went back in beast mode for the 3rd, with polished sport schemes, personals (“It’s a known fact, all bitches hate when RED show up…period!”) and a hilarious version of Calicoe’s infamous story on Red’s problems with women that undoubtedly gave Hitman the W.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Best line: Hitman Holla – “I’ll punch you in the middle of my verse…rebuttal that!”

Hitman Holla defeats T-Rex

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Recap: Rex probably got the line of the night, but in front of his hometown fans Hitman put on a better show combining hard hitting (“This battle can go from legendary to legend buried!”) bars with personals, more creativity and another dope performance. For a one-rounder, still a close and pretty good battle.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex -“I hold my gun more than I hold my son”

Hitman Holla defeats Conceited

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Recap: A credit to Conceited and Hitman Holla’s popularity that a battle with one of the worst 3rd rounds in history could have over 5 million views. And to think, here we see a vet like Hitman literally giving up a round and trying to make up for it by rehashing some of his own standout lines from past battles followed up by a grandiose puncher like Conceited (who for some reason failed to insert more of his notorious ‘Slow It Down’ bar storms into his raps for this battle) delivering probably his weakest round ever in that same 3rd round?!? Not only was that torturous to watch, but if I was a paying customer I’d be a little upset with these two. That said, Hitman’s hard-flexing, witty, personal-heavy, name flip-spazzing and remix-snapping 1st edges a punchline-lit, but not as performance-heavy turn by Con in the 1st round, before Hitman also takes the 2nd with a more condensed turn that was also surprisingly punch-heavy at times and more consistently spicy then his opponent. Thanks in part to Hitman’s many shortcomings in the 3rd, even with a subpar turn of his own, a non-choking Con gets a final round that his opponent had already handed him.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla –  “You don’t really want that action, you worried about matching!”

Hitman Holla defeats John John Da Don

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Recap: In battle rap, a veteran giving a new blood a shot goes all the way back to the legendary Busy Bee famously letting Kool Moe Dee get on the mike to roast him after one of Bee’s performances in what was alleged to have been the 1st one-on-one battle ever. So all these years later, Hitman Holla providing up-n-comer John John Da Don with a shot on the big Webster Hall stage just continues a long-standing tradition. But unlike the fabled Moe Dee vs. Busy Bee battle, outside of a pretty dope and highly entertaining 1st round from both battlers, this one was a bit of a letdown as both Hitman and JJDD suffered from a boatload of pedestrian bars and subpar angles that even led to some boos from the crowd in the latter rounds. Ironically, with a punchline-heavier JJDD taking the 2nd round and practically giving away the 3rd round by spending half his turn delivering some tedious pontifications to Holla, it’s the 1st round that would end up deciding this battle. And the edge here goes to Hitman, the St. Louis vet standing out with a classic turn that featured some dope punchlines/schemes, sublime crowd control, stunting anecdotes/wordplay, performance-heavy heat, witty personals and a seismic/patented remix that altogether when placed head-to-head against JJDD’s hard-hitting at times, personal-lit and scheme-heavy, but also a bit of an imitative turn that would lose him the round and the battle.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “Cock that 4-5 like fuck it, give him 9 more, turn his apple to seeds, see what they call him John for, Johnny Appleseed]s all over, bring the pine, boy, shout out to my nigga, free Hollow, he ain’t Da Don boy!”

Hitman Holla defeats Cali

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Recap: With this 2-round sweep it’s another day at the office for Hitman Holla, who’s more robust punchlines and rabid gun bars easily beat back opponent Cali’s way more menial raps.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “Man, I spit like a llama, with big weapons sorta like Osama, that’ll make your heart pause like a comma!”

Aye Verb defeats Hitman Holla

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Recap: Listen, you’d be a fool to not say that Aye Verb’s 3rd round was legendary, an epic tutorial, a classic round with the “Hey Big Gerald! ‘Yes Sir!’ Now that’s the way you’re supposed to speak to your son!” spiel undoubtedly going down in URL history as one of the greatest, showstopping moments in battle rap history. Ok, now that we got that out the way and we give Verb his much-deserved props, let’s remind ourselves that this was a 3-round battle, not just one. Thus, I got Hitman Holla edging the first round and come to think of it overall he may’ve been more consistent too. Holla had more hard-hitting personals, he schooled Verb too with the “It’s Rules You Learn As a Kid, Fuck Rap” lines, had better (“I walk in, all hugs from the bitches, the baddest, he walk in, tragic, no looks, Magic”) wordplay, the  ‘JR Smith’ remix was crazy and he had slightly less filler. None of that is to say that Verb didn’t show up during the first two rounds as his performance (esp. in round 2) was tight with a lot more variety, the “Holla, killing you gonna hurt me [shakes his head] way more than it’s gonna get to you” quip was hilarious (as was the Murphy Lee diss: “You just a little nigga’s, little nigga”). And tho I don’t think most people would have a problem with someone buying their first car at 24, Verb’s overall theme on how Holla isn’t as real as he portrays not only worked well, but would spark a host of copycats later on. A highly entertaining and closer battle then a lot of people give it credit for, what with Verb dropping more haymakers and this arguably being his best performance, Chaz took home the crown for St. Louis…for one day anyway.

Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 2-1

Favorite line: “I’m a one man slay special, get your whole gang wet up, I come to you first and then all they cribs, I’m like a chain letter”

RemyD and Hitman Holla [DEBATABLE] (Rematch)

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Recap: Classic Fight Klub battle between (“Your rims don’t turn, your lyrics don’t burn, so as far as I’m concerned, that’s as far as I’m concerned!”) Hitman Holla and RemyD didn’t allow for stumbling, hence a flow-challenged Remy having his 2nd round cut short, before a couple of nice freestyles by Remy in the deciding 3rd round got him a….sudden death OT, which while totally unfair, was no fault of Hitman’s, allowing for Holla to ‘comeback’ with a tie after spitting a solid OT round after Remy slips up once again in the extra round.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: RemyD – “You could tell that I’m the answer, like what come after the equal sign!”

Goodz defeats Hitman Holla

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Synopsis: 1st appearance of Earl, but really what’s a choke? Depends on who you ask. IMO, however, it’s completely forgetting your rhymes. Hitman didn’t do that here, but then would it have mattered? Hitman’s performance, bars and name flips were poor at best (a real disappointment considering Holla was in front of his home crowd) and Goodz although not at his best either, still spit enough bars and came with enough swag plus personals to take the win….in spite of Earl.

Verdict: Goodz (W) 1-0

Best line: Goodz – “You ain’t nothing but an Urkel nigga that can turn into Stefon”

Hollow da Don defeats Hitman Holla

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Recap: Need a reason not to pit two battle rappers against each other who are cool with each other outside the ring? Then look no farther than here as Hitman Holla and Hollow da Don face off in a battle that can best be described as listless and uneventful. Struggling to really diss each other (they both went the usual routes without getting too personal) or spit their best bars in front of a crowd that was clearly weary from a long day (this was a main event battle and thus the last one of the night), even Hitman and Hollow’s best lines were met with lukewarm applause. With Hitman clearly winning round one with better bars and Hollow clearly taking round 3 (on the fake dap alone), it’s round two that decided this one and despite an energetic and nice round by (“…chopper knock his section down, grab him by his neck and unload that whole second round”) Hitman, Hollow edged it out with nicer (“You’re about as useless as a hitchhiker with a broken thumb”) personals, solid rebuttals, steady aggression and dope performance (“Take his girl, poke her [poker] face, I’m not bluffing”) bars.

Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “I Brewed her, I Boozed her, you woulda thought the Bulls was playing, I mean, I ain’t Know Her, but when that D Rose, she was like, ‘Dang!’” (All references to the Bulls 2011 roster)

Hitman Holla defeats Arsonal da Rebel

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Synopsis: A highly anticipated matchup (with both battlers bringing their A-game when it came to promoting this battle) on URL Hitman ended up taking pretty easy, this battle remains noteworthy to this day. First, there’s a filler-prone Arsonal, partly stuck in GrindTime mode (jokes over bars, with too many of them coming off as lame here) while also struggling with his similes (to think, it would take awhile for him to get over ‘squidwords clarinet’), jokes, longwindedness and disrespectful zingers to the point that the Jersey crowd booed him in the 3rd round (ironically, his best round where is scored here as debatable after Holla clearly took rounds 1 and 2). Secondly, Hitman’s more direct, short and condensed rounds was on point here as nary a bar was wasted. Finally, overall Hitman just had better punches, crowd control/storytelling/performance (esp. the classic Arsonal/T-Rex story arc in rd. 2), jokes, personals and to top it off, a killer opening/mid-round freestyle: “His homeboy keep talking while I’m rapping, not cool!, the contact said I can’t hit this nigga, not you!” And two words after that…ball game.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Best line: Hitman Holla – “Talking about you ran blocks…nigga in your school but you wouldn’t run traffic lights!”

Hitman Holla defeats Cortez

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Synopsis: This is the battle Cortez still loves to bring up when attempting to prove his mettle. But every time I watch it I come away with same conclusion: Hitman edged it. Of course, if you’re just about bars (and clear-cut crowd bias), you might give it to Cortez (tho he had way too much filler in round 1). But Hitman had plenty of dope bars too, along with (as usual) performance, jokes, schemes (the “Man, what?!” lines are classic) and enough personals (clearly Hitman bringing up Cortez’s losses bothered his opponent) to get it in the end.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Best line: Hitman Holla – “You just a Mexican that rep New York but lose when it matter the most, you Mark, Sanchez”

Hitman Holla and Big T (DEBATABLE)

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Recap: Dope Midwest matchup between Hitman Holla and Big T sees Mr. Chillackaboo take round one with richer performance bars, frenzied set-ups and more amiable (“He represent the Loo right?, everybody it’s history, not because I’m about to beat the shit out of him lyrically, y’all about to see a nigga put St. Louis out of misery [Missouri]”) wordplay. Holla stepped it up in round two, using rich (“Nigga, you soft-ass teddy bear, you wouldn’t swing on a Wie!”; “In high school all you did was beg for nigga’s lunches, ain’t even smoke, always had the munches”) personals and dope storytelling bars to edge what was a pretty (“you September 12th when the towers fell, everything’s watered down”) nice, but not as strong turn from Big T. Tied going into the last round, Holla’s turn is shorter than Big T’s but more condensed as his stellar delivery and flow add shine to ferocious bars that had him cutting up Big T’s grandma chest ‘like a violin’ in the midst of more jokes on T’s physique. Still, besides a little filler here and there, Big T came back nicely with delicious gun bars, gritty street chatter and some comical mockery of Hitman’s hometown style of lingo. Indeed, both did well enough to call this one a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Big T – “I let two hit me, then another two hit me. Then a fa-la-fa-FEW! hit me, I thinking ‘the fuck am I fighting for?, I got that chi-lacka-BOO! wit me, boo boo with me, boo boo boo boo with me!!!”

Hitman Holla and Rich Dolarz [TIE]

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Recap: From the same Street Status card that featured Aye Verb vs. Hollow da Don for two rounds, a more gritty and mayhem/punch-lit (“Y’all got the best room at the Hilton going against a Motel 6?!”) Hitman Holla takes round 1, before a more nuanced and brazen Rich Dolarz took the 2nd to make this battle a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Rich Dolarz – “St. Louis how could he win?, I mean Chingy hotter than him!”

Hitman Holla defeats Cashola

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Recap: Word War ’09 battle hosted by Aye Verb with a couple of aggressive St. Louis spitters in Hitman Holla and Cashola going at it for two rounds. Cashola was steady with a harsh delivery/flow that linguistically delivered (“I’ll catch this nigga in a city street, sliding with his little groupie freak, open the back door, put the gun to his son head and blow his little ass out the booster seat!”) well at times, but more often than not his wordplay was pretty generic and average. On the other hand Hitman’s versatility shined in both rounds, if it wasn’t witty (“You wasn’t even on my menu, you remind of broccoli”) personals, it was robust storytelling bars, potent gun lines and solid (“Claim you a pit bull, but see me and you won’t even bark”) punchlines that got him the win.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I’m quickly gonna turn this reality into a movie, play dumb, start killing these niggas, Officer Doofy”

RemyD defeats Hitman Holla

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Recap: They’d battle again later on in the Fight Klub, but this one-rounder clearly goes to RemyD, whose more consistently stronger punchlines and fierce wordplay beat Hitman Holla’s less potent braggadocio lines.

Verdict: RemyD (W) 1-0

Favorite line: RemyD – “Flip the on switch, this when you realize the hook I catch you with ain’t a chorus!”

Yung Ill defeats Hitman Holla

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Recap: Early Hitmam Holla versus Yung Ill stays competitive and aggressive on both sides throughout. But it’s Ill who seizes the day with more potent (“You a poodle with three legs, I’m a pit bull with rabies and no chain!”) bars, some fierce personals, a deft delivery and overall, a pretty strong performance. Holla, who got distracted by someone in the crowd during his second round, certainly had his (“If I sneeze you better not say ‘Bless Me’ wrong”) moments, but might’ve done better if he wasn’t seemingly (“Pull your skin off like bologna meat”?!?) insecure about his wordplay.

Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Yung Ill – “I’ll put the gun on his tongue like shhhh…don’t kiss and tell!”

Yung Holla defeats Grim

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Recap: Dishing left and right with rapid personals/braggadocio bars when he wasn’t doing fine impressions of fellow battle rappers and gripping heaters with so much reckless abandon that even innocent grandmother’s had to heed notice, Yung Holla easily beats back the mostly pedestrian bars of Grim in this 2-rounder from Word War 8.

Verdict: Yung Holla (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Yung Holla – “Broke ass nigga…you couldn’t splurge at Family Dollar!”

Yung Holla defeats Birdie

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Recap: With plenty of $$$ on the line, Yung Holla uses righteous gun bars and deft personals to easily take the first couple of rounds, before literally gaining the kill on a very average Birdie with a spirited C-word acumen that solidified an adept vocabulary.

Verdict: Yung Holla (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Yung Holla – “On the way here, his homie like ‘My dude got flow, we expecting him to lose, but it’s a good look tho!'”