No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: Resident fat jokes in round 1, but they still had enough meat to hit. And that along with some nifty punchlines/personals that when coupled up with a flow-challenged Syd Vicious having to cut his 2nd round short, gives John John Da Don the win in this entertaining 3-rounder from Grind Time.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “Try to play da Don and John will put a Hollow in you, I would say body bag, but I don’t know what size to get you!”
Recap: Industry rapper Sy Ari Da Kid and (“Put the pound on you like the trending topic!”) John John Da Don go at it for about 5 minutes in a freestyle battle that was pretty subpar all the way through. And with neither battler offering much in the way of haymakers, slip-ups from both sides and plenty of paltry lyrics to boot, best to call this one a tie and quickly move on.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Sy Ari Da Kid – “Look we got it all, want your pizza store?, I’m your Papa John!”
Recap: Nice of them to not do an O.T., but in this Grind Time battle between John John Da Don and Troy Brown the latter still gets robbed as his continual use of scathing personals and witty barbs edged what was a solid and at times punch-heavy, but not as potent turn from JJDD in the deciding 3rd round.
Verdict: Troy Brown (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Troy Brown – “You know the kid on the block that sucks at every sport, that always ended up playing on the team, like ‘fuck you guys if you don’t take me I’ll just take my ball and leave!’…that’s John Jon!”
Recap: Funny how often John John Da Don had to hear about how he looks like Chris Brown during his early battle rap career. That said, even with his opponent here, Young P-ro, tossing out yet another Chris Brown reference to go along with a nimble punch game that’d make the S.O.N.S. crew curious, JJDD’s more scintillating punchlines, witty barbs and stinging personals are more than enough to score a 30.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 3-0
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “Nigga, you so ugly that when you was born your grandparents tried to jump you!”
Recap: Two round Grind Time promo battle between John John Da Don and Bravo goes JJDD’s way pretty handily as the Yonkers, NY rapper scathing personals and flexing punch game easily beats back a gritty, but mediocre effort from his opponent.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-0
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “Fuck his girlfriend ‘cuz he probably the only nigger that hasn’t yet!”
Recap: Finally, a Grind Time battle where all the judges (and me) were on the same page as John John Da Don uses just about every Asian stereotype he could find to out-punch a witty at times, but mostly pedestrian Passda in the first two rounds for the win before JJDD pretty much gives up on getting a 30 to instead dish on some much-needed rants on how Grind Time judges battles.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “All his Chinese chicken is really Siamese kittens!”
Synopsis: I agree with the judges (funny watching Swave Sevah and Iron Solomon judging battles) as this was an easy win for Lotta Zay who came with better punchlines, meaner consistent bars and nicer name flips all throughout. Clearly, John John has a lot of growing to do.
Verdict: Lotta Zay (W) 3-0
Best line: Lotta Zay – “His man crying like why you hit him in the mouth for?, he came from the dirty so I hit him with the southpaw!”
Recap: Yet another judge’s mishap from Grind Time as a sometimes filler-prone, but punch-heavier and more versatile John John Da Don clearly took rounds 1 and 3 here from an inconsistent 30/30 for the win. But Grind Time being Grind Time, amongst 5 judge’s, only Direct gets the decision right. Thus, an OT round that shouldn’t have taken place allows a more prepared 30/30 to get the “win’ as well as JJDD’s $400 bucks.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1 (not including OT round)
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “Why 30/30?, you don’t aim for them crosses, you probably got your name from your age and your losses!”
Recap: Outside of a 2nd round choke, John John Da God stays nice with his, spouting a barrage of piercing punchlines, witty barbs and fiery boasts/name flips to easily beat back a mostly mediocre 3 rounds from Bok Da God in this one-sided battle from Grind Time.
Verdict: John John Da God (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John Da God – “You pussy Blood, what set you claim, PMS?!?”
Recap: Pretty close 3-rounder from Grind Time with John John da Don facing off against PC in a battle that came with your usual assortment of festive (JJDD: “Top gonna crack when the rocket snap, I’ll blow his eyes from the spine, make him watch his back!”) gun bars, rugged boasts, solid punchlines and casual name flips. And while both battlers were prone for filler here and there, with the best bar of the round PC took a very close 1s, before a punch-heavier JJDD edged the 2nd round. The deciding 3rd round, even in length, was pretty mediocre on both sides with very little on the haymakers. making this one a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: PC – “Don’t hype him up, get him souped like Wan Tan, I’ll pull the shotty and have him smelling like a porta potty, that’s the definition of a john, John!”
