Recap: No disrespect to Geechi Gotti, who’s certainly put in the proper amount of work to earn a shot at Loaded Lux. But with the likes of JC on record been wanting to battle Lux or–if we’re going to do the West coast thing–wouldn’t a Dizaster/Lux matchup make more sense than this one? Especially if we’re not just looking to make Lux that secret bonus round you get when you’ve finally conquered your favorite video game. I mean, we got legacies to protect here. That said, despite a mostly solid (except for round 3 where he had a couple of slip-ups), heavy-hitting at times and ever-righteous 3 rounds from Lux, this URL/Til Death Do Us Part bout was all Gotti, who when he wasn’t theratneing to beat up someone in Lux’s entourage for talking through his opening round, outshined the Harlem legend in each round with an aggressive barrage of hard street rhythms, stifling punchlines, piercing name flips, mocking personals, some steely pontifications and flexing mayhem to get the win.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “If I say, I’m gon’ kill you, I’m gon’ kill you, I don’t give a fuck if it’s right or wrong, only thing I’m contemplating is, ‘Do I kill the kids too?’ so you ain’t gotta die alone!”
Recap: Tsu Surf might have the bigger name, but battle rap politics aside, JC, who’s been calling out Loaded Lux for years, should’ve got this opportunity to battle him. And Lux probably had that in mind when he wrote his raps for this matchup. The veteran Harlem emcee getting downright flippant/personal with his pen, when he wasn’t kicking real shit about his place in the game to go along with spirited concoctions of verbal heat for 3 rounds. All the while, the ever boastful Surf, pride in his face and able to score at times with some hitting punches, still didn’t have the fortitude to avoid the occasional slip-up, no matter how many times he tried to run back his lines. A gritty offering on both sides with Surf coming at his best (and cleanest) in round 2, even a Lux who was never quite on his A-game, spazzes with enough consistency, drops enough intricate haymakers and with the help of an inconsistent opponent, delivers a 30.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Dearly beloved, We are NOT gathered here today…for bullshit, when a dead man plan that’s usually a plot, right?, for the crypt, no, for the Crip, yeah, we came to see you off from the rip [R.I.P.]!”
Recap: A battle long in the making, extremely long in length and loaded with plenty of filler from both participants, Loaded Lux versus Aye Verb is decided by a close 2nd round that saw the visceral, pointed, God-body and often wordplay-heavy Lux beat back a ‘Showtime!’-induced and punch-lit at times turn from his opponent. Verb, who came through with a dope 3rd round that easily out-punched an elongated and subpar turn from Lux, competed hard throughout this battle. But one too many attempts at copying Lux’s more steely pontifications/complex schemes as well as personals that often went south instead of hitting their target and punches that weren’t quite as flexing as his entourage would tell you, would also hurt Verb’s efforts in winning a battle he’s long requested.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “It’s ‘A whole new world’, nigga, this ain’t back when you was rapping with Hollow, you might be ‘Showtime’…just not at the Apollo, nigga!”
Recap: Offhand, I think that Soul Khan is the last noted battle rapper to actually “retire” and really mean it. Still, when you’ve been in the game as long as he has, co-own a league and get the high-priced, legend that is Loaded Lux to come battle on your platform, if you’re Arsonal why not battle him yourself, call it your sendoff and go out on a high note? Then too, with battle rap being so unorganized what with fans caring way more about the here-n-now than the past, no one will care if you battle the likes of Da Uso Hipnosis and Hollow da Don less than a year after your “retirement” match anyway.
As for the battle itself? Elongated with a boatload of filler (esp. from Lux in the latter rounds, people can stop with that ‘over the head’ bar excuses) and even with the long history these two have… underwhelming, especially when it came to the personals and what with both battlers failing to bring their A-game. That said, Kung Fu Lux, with what was easily his strongest round, edges a (“Roscoe Jenkins in here, acting like he too good for the family reunion!”) boastful 1st with more haymakers before Arsonal (who had a pretty solid 1st), tho still beleaguered by a pen that constantly spouts pedestrian bars, takes the 2nd and 3rd with a nice combo of randomly impactful disrespect bars, fiery (“I shoot with one arm out, chin down, that’s a violin tactic!”) punchlines and deep-seated personals that brought down a bit his opponent’s Vanglorious chapter in battle rap.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “You Under Brother Polite, new covenant, where consciousness meets commerce, well right now you at Newark Symphony Hall nigga, where your conscious can meet Converse!”
Recap: Featuring the longest argument over a coin flip that you’ll probably ever see, Charlie Clips versus Loaded Lux is also a battle of time constraints, some ridiculous punchlines, heated personals, dope schemes and of course, Charlie Clips’ pops–the latter of which has never actually appeared at a battle, but whom too many opponent’s of Clips seem to be obsessed over proving whether or not he was a snitch. Either way, Harlem versus Harlem almost always makes for a fire match and this one, while not reaching the sheer loquaciousness of say a Head Ice vs. Swave Sevah, still had its moments.
There was a more condensed Clips taking out a solid, but filler-drenched 1st round by Lux with gritty punchlines, fiery (“Now when you came up with that slogan ‘You gonna get this work’, that sent chills down my spine, that shit was crazy B, but the work you give out don’t last that long, but you the Temp agency!”) personals and some crazy wordplay. In the 2nd round, Lux edged a witty Muslim/Lux-impression and some more potent personals by Clips with a versatile turn of lofty personals, gripping (“It’s time Smack, why your fake shooter always worrying about the time clock?!?”) punches, a stifling freestyle and boastful bangers that all hit their mark.
Littered with squabbles on time limits, the 3rd and deciding round saw Lux go T-Rex on Clips with a turn centered on his opponent’s alleged family (“You and your daddy a couple of Chatty Patty’s!”) dysfunction–all good for Harlem-nites long familiar with these tales, but for others, most likely an elongated turn on a theme we’ve already seen before. Even with the paperwork. Still, as we previously saw with Rex, Clips seemed to already have an idea about what was coming, coming right back and dishing a couple of nice (“Charlie Clips a pussy?!, c’mon y’all, imagine that, you broke down my father’s past, but what the fuck that got to do with battle rap?!”) rebuttals in the midst of more jaunty wordplay and hitting schemes/personals in yet, another more condensed round that ended up getting him an impressive win.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “I watched Rex you on 8th and I seen this man fry, so if you battled on the roof and the loser had to jump, either you ass-betted or you can’t die!”
Recap: Much-anticipated rematch between Harlem legends Loaded Lux and Murda Mook gets the polished and production-lit reception it deserves in front of a packed crowd at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York as the headline to the Total Slaughter card. Too bad the battle itself wouldn’t live up to the hype. As after Lux dished a consistently gripping round 1 loaded with righteous punches, some vivid storytelling and wily personals to beat back a momentous and witty at times, but inconsistent turn by Mook, the “Talk Dirty” emcee’s normally virtuous rhymes would disappear into a pool of pedestrian bars and personals with very little bite, helping him to eventually lose this battle. And while Mook would start to land with more punches as the battle proceeded, continue to call out his opponent for allegedly being a hypocrite when it comes to his more preachy lines, spit a nice rebuttal in the deciding 3rd round and instigate a Lux vs. Busta Rhymes (who was in the audience) beef by playing a tape of Lux sneak-dissing Busta (a ploy that worked out really well when you consider the weak attempt by Lux to use a coat as a prop during the top of the round), it wasn’t like Murda, who was often spotty here, was ever on his A-game either. Although one can agree that the higher-ups could’ve let Mook finish the verse he wasn’t able to deliver in time in a final round that with the many breakdown’s on his opponent, he won pretty decisively.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Murda Mook – “All of this dressing up like different people, that ain’t for niggas from the block, the only time we in disguise when we fin to get the drop!”
Recap: From U Dubb’s High Stakes card, Loaded Lux versus Hollow Da Don in a highly anticipated battle that really altered the game when it came to how much battlers should be paid (indeed, when first talked about, this top-tier match was supposed to be URL, but as the battlers asking price was deemed to be too high, U Dubb would swoop in and land the match instead). Lux, dressed in Black Panther garb that would prove to be a huge theme for the Harlem vet throughout the battle (tho Hollow would spout some dope freestyles in response during the matchup), would shine with a plethora of rich metaphors, stinging personals (esp. when it came to Hollow’s alleged fondness for lean), righteous pontifications and hard-hitting punches that also flexed his versatility. On the other hand Hollow, with an aggressive, personally belittling (esp. with the Lux impressions), witty, wordplay spicy and at times scheme-heavy palette, would stay competitive despite being hurt a bit after having both of his opening rounds cut a bit short due to time constraints (apparently the two battlers had already agreed to two 5-minute rounds before an unlimited 3rd round prior to the battle). That said, slightly helped by utilizing less filler while overall coming through a bit more intricate, condensed and more pointed with the bars/personals, an also more haymaker-lit Lux takes rounds 1 and 2 for the win before a debatable final round that’s noted for Hollow bringing Calicoe’s pops out on stage.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Baby you a star, they love you the way you are, but I love you enough to not leave you the way you are!”
Recap: Honestly, what more can be said about this battle? Indeed, in what would not only turn out to be one of the greatest battle rap matches of all-time, but the witnessing of a man who rarely battles, Loaded Lux, be elevated to ‘God’ status amongst the entire battle rap community (and famously get quoted from the likes of Jay-Z) for his sterling performance here (and that’s even after Lux choked in his 1st round), this battle even had superstars within the hip-hop elite impressed, all the same elevating the battle rap platform as a whole. Of course, Calicoe has no one to blame but himself for being on the other end of Lux’s newfound status, as he was the one who had the gall to call Lux out of retirement in the first place–getting ‘Grey Hoodie Lux’ so amped and motivated to come through that he not only dressed up in a tux for the bout, but literally brought a whole funeral party with him. Still to be fair, throughout the years Cal has regularly shown that his bravado can rarely be questioned and coming off an epic 3-0 win versus Math Hoffa, why shouldn’t Cal at least ask for Lux?
That said, no sense wasting time by getting into semantics here. This was a clear 2-1 victory for Lux and despite a scheme-heavy Cal being pretty (“It don’t matter if you loaded Lux, when that gun on safety!”; “The first nigga who he got his his back, gonna die fronting!”) ) solid throughout (that is, when he wasn’t wasting bars spitting about other battlers). Yet, Cal only got the first round thanks to the aforementioned choke, which somewhat speaks volumes to the stratospheric level Lux was on here (one could certainly argue that the only reason Lux choked is because he got so caught in the emotion of the raucous crowd celebrating his return to the stage–regardless, it still counts tho).
Indeed, Lux’s eternal catchphrase of “You gon’ get this work!” was on total display on this night, systematically deconstructing his opponent throughout the battle with highly crafted personals, O.G. (“That’s why when I look up at you, I see what he can go through when a father don’t take the time!; “Your pops wasn’t no gangster, he was just another lost nigga!”) lessons on life and the pursuit of happiness, epic (“Look at him, emotional!”) showmanship, finite (“Let me bring that back ‘cuz I need y’all to grasp it, ain’t it evil to live backwards?!”) crowd control, ample wit, idealistic (“A rap league of tyrants and a child being defiant, oh, I’m in battle mode!”) set-ups, sizzling braggadocio lines, the legendary (“You’ve got some explaining to do, can we address the crowd?, Exhibit A, so that’s how Detroit gangstas do? Skinny dipping gone wild?!”) screen prop and of course, a roundhouse of potent bars and classic quotables…all without a single gun bar. Altogether, that’s not just phenomenal, it’s a clear ass-whipping.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “You niggas came here playing, it’s cool, but y’all gon’ leave giving head counts, they didn’t even book you nigga’s rooms, I told ’em Harlem Hospital giving beds out!”
Recap: Harlem legends Murda Mook and Loaded Lux go at it for 8 epic rounds in one of the truly most influential battles of all-time. A mostly competitive bout, a testament to lyrical endurance (Mook: “I spit till my body ache!”) and a sign of a times what with Mook cutting off Lux a couple of times the second Loaded took too long to start another verse, the battle was also highlighted by plenty of stunting, flossing, nifty personals and piercing (Loaded Lux: “And that shit you got weak, what you trying to save grams?, he couldn’t tell that shit a rock to a caveman!”) punchlines throughout. Lux’s more potent punches and wordplay easily gets him round 1, before a more condensed and consistent Mook edges a 2nd round that was equal on haymakers. Rounds 3 and 4 also went to Mook what with Lux’s rampant punches dipping a bit on efficiency while also becoming more and more filler-prone. On the other hand during the two rounds, Mook turned it up on execution, while also displaying a bit more versatility to his raps. The ever boastful Mook went extra hard with the (“I got a disease, I can’t let go of the steel .9, I’m so thirsty for a murder, trying to kill time!”) bluster in round 5, while Lux (who had some moments) still struggled to get his groove back. A more condensed and suddenly lit again with the punchlines (“I don’t know how he chill, this nigga pockets is like pre-paid phones, that nigga ain’t got a bill!”) Loaded edged round 6 even tho Mook had a strong round as well. Lux then came back with another dope turn in the 7th round, stepping up his wordplay and dishing out some robust heat. And with Mook up 4 rounds to 3 going into the 8th and final round, it’s Murda who gets the vic and avoids a tie with a turn that was littered with moxie and more stinging (“I leave a nigga jail bed stiff, and bury him with his weight bench so he really can dead lift!”) haymakers than his opponent.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 5-3
Favorite line: Murda Mook – “Ease up, or feel more heat than twenty perms, half your hammers don’t exist like Missy curves!”
Recap: Lyrically raw, confident swag with consistent aggression and highly potent (“Yeah you a baller cause you walking when u travel”) bars/wordplay, it’s all the tools Loaded Lux needs to execute an easy bodybag on Young Miles, who disappointingly chokes twice after delivering an efficient round one.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “I got a style like I back swing hoes, I’m witty, I’m slicker than that hair on Nat King Cole”
Recap: Jersey’s J Biz puts up a decent (“Take you’re head off on camera like Taliban”) challenge, but Loaded Lux’s hard body rhymes and braggadocio (“You”ll melt trying to get to this belt, Casper couldn’t go through me”) bars are too much to handle in this two-rounder from BET’s Freestyle Friday.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “It’s all great till Lux sweep in, then they sweating like Michael Jackson at a Boys Club meeting!”
Recap: Two rounds and only 30 seconds to rap in each aren’t for everyone as Nuborn clearly shows here, almost choking away his first before dishing pretty standard bars in the second and still complaining about not having time to rap. Loaded Lux, on the other hand, in what would be his final BET Freestyle Friday match, came equipped with his usual flair of braggadocio punchlines and fiery personals. Altogether, not Lux’s A-game, but more than enough heat to beat a way-less-prepared opponent.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Right now you couldn’t fight yourself out of a wet paper bag with a razor!”
Recap: Loaded Lux flexes for two rounds here, going ham on an over-matched Mike Louch with righteous punchlines that all land, before taking his opponent down for the 3-count with a haymaker of an ‘NYPD’ bar to decisively settle the bout.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “I’m the champ chump, your girl the only one I let hit me below the belt!”
Recap: A ‘swagger juice dripping’ Loaded Lux dishes more then enough gritty punchlines to easily beat back a pedestrian and slip-up prone Precise in this Freestyle Friday match from BET.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Jealous mind, never rhyme, Don King had haircuts with better lines!”
Recap: After splitting the first couple of rounds here with Dee, an explosive, hard-hitting 3rd by Loaded Lux convinces everyone including the judges to go home.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “The bottom of your AC, nigga that’s the only fan base [fanbase] you’ll ever have!”
Recap: Both Loaded Lux and Cash unload with gritty and boastful (no abundance of gun bars here) rhymes in this 3-rounder that shined a light on Lux’s early battle career. Cash hangs in there during round 1 with enough spicy bars to edge the opener. But afterwards, it’s pretty much all Lux as the Harlem vet spazzes with a gang of piercing punchlines that combined with some nifty wordplay, easily gets him the latter two rounds.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “I learned from the elders how to keep old bread guess I was molded right!”
