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Math Hoffa

Geechi Gotti defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: Not to take anything away from Geechi Gotti, who provided two killer opening rounds (and a pretty solid 3rd) littered with a shitload of scathing personals to earn the win here in this long-awaited matchup versus Math Hoffa. But Math’s ultimately perplexing decision to use a battle he’s long campaigned for versus an elite opponent like Gotti and waste so many bars going at his peers (mind you, for years we’ve seen Math ranting on blogs about wanting to battle a Goodz or a Tsu Surf or a Tay Roc, plus for over a year now he’s had his own hit show, My Expert Opinion, where he could easily go on anytime and rant there too) throughout this bout (esp. in round 1) just defies common sense, much less the idea that he might’ve won this battle without them. Indeed, outside of the aforementioned needless raps and a minor slip-up at the end of round 2, via some hard-hitting personals of his own, witty barbs, a bunch of fiery gun bars, some stinging wordplay and yes, even when he went the ‘M. Dot’ route and got on a righteous bender, Math was serving up more than enough consistent heat to warrant more plates on URL (honestly, I think Goodz should just say yes and let it happen already on a Summer Madness or N.O.M.E.). Nonetheless, with all the biting haymakers, verbal warfare, ability to gamely freestyle his way through some turbulence with his flow in round 2, rigid Dizaster fight angles and talk that real street shit throughout the battle (with some cutting jokes mixed in too), there’s still a better that Gotti wins this battle anyway even if Hoffa came more direct. Still would’ve been nice to find out.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “Head shots, oh I’m talking too much, that goes to show I’m used to spilling beans!”

Math Hoffa defeats Jag

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Recap: Pretty solid effort here from Chubby Jag, who outside of a 3rd round that we’ll get to later and one too many name flips, came consistently hard and aggressive against Math Hoffa, with a gang of gritty punches throughout the match that should definitely should put him on par with King Los and 40 Cal when it comes to ‘best-comebacks-to-battle-rap-by-industry-rappers’. Hell, as far as recent comeback’s go, one could easily argue that Jag did way better then his former mentor Cassidy did. That said, there’s no way Jag beat Hoffa here, with the ever combative styling’s of Math fermenting his ground in the opening rounds with a boatlaod of bullish punchlines, fiending wordplay, rich metaphorical darts and enough mocking personals to remind you of the wide range Hoffa has when it comes to his pen. As for round 3? A story in itself with Jag getting extra greasy what with a turn almost entirely dedicated to the recent rape allegations that were publicly made against his opponent. Yet, surely, this being battle rap, Math had to know somebody was going to eventually bring it up. And yeah, as personal and sensitive as the subject matter was, Math getting riled up and walking away on stage while Jag rapped and leaving at the end without shaking hands, was certainly understandable. But no, unless it stops a battle from proceeding, unsportsmanlike conduct like that shouldn’t cost you the round…not that it matters anyway since Jag’s storytelling and execution was so point in the 3rd that it won him the round anyway and saved him from getting 30’d.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Pussy, this our house, you on some distant cousin shit, we the kids that jumped on the bed just because we loved the shit!”

Math Hoffa defeats B. Magic

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Recap: A noisy crowd, another slip-up prone (and choking) performance from B. Magic and a flexing wordplay displaying, punchline-lit and scathing with the personals showing from Math Hoffa gives the veteran Brooklyn battle rapper/media personality a pretty easy 30 in this one-sided 3-rounder from Street Status.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Y’all like them corny Math flips?, I ain’t feeling your logic, ‘cuz if he could really flip Math, he wouldn’t be stealing deposits!”

Math Hoffa and Serius Jones [DEBATABLE] (3rd Battle)

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Recap: Took a very long while, but thanks to RBE, we finally get to see 3 rounds of Serius Jones versus Math Hoffa. And after much hype, the battle itself was…ok. Not that, with all the back-n-forth, alleged Miami incidents, video blogging and animosity still lingering over the years, this battle didn’t have its share of machismo moments and flexing gestures that made you think the possibility of yet another incident could occur. But thankfully, both battlers kept it professional and left it all up to the bars. That said, surprisingly bar efficiency was lacking and inconsistent on both sides as both Serius and Math weren’t at their sharpest when it came to their pen games. Still, with quite a few dry spots and way too much bravado/sermonizing, by landing a couple of more haymakers that his more subpar opponent Serius edges the 1st round, before a more a consistently nice with the punches, witty at times and better equipped with the personals Math evened things up by taking the 2nd round. The 3rd round turned out to be each one’s best as Serius stepped up his wordplay and thus was able to score heavily at times with a wide load of piercing punchlines. But after a slow start, Math, who was displaying better angle/scheme work throughout the match, came through in the latter half of his turn, with some exemplary (“…but since I put hands on you, you done seen me 4 or 5 times, I’m very tangible, but you know if you try some dumb shit, I’m gonna mangle you, you don’t want the hands my nigga because I will handle you, but since you do little [Dolittle], watch the way you talk to animals!”) punchlines/personals to back his narratives and more importantly make the round and battle a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “See?, this nigger think he could just get away with telling stories, but you a good fraud, you should change your name to Algebra ”cuz before you figure him out, Math just look hard!”

Charlie Clips defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: Anyone who’s done their homework would know that even before the Dizaster incident, Math Hoffa had long wanted to ‘test his pen’ versus Charlie Clips. And why not? Clips has long solidified his status as a top tier battle rapper and if you want to be the best, you have to beat the best. That said, it’s too bad that it took Clips (hka ‘flip-flops’) not helping Math during his post-battle fight versus Dizaster (and Co.) some years back for these two to finally meet in the ring. Not that a Clips vs. Math match wouldn’t have had a gang of funny personals anyway as amongst other attributes, they’re both known for their wit. But do we really need to hear endless schemes, jokes and references to a Diz fight (which, to be frank, Clips came much harder on) that took place years ago and that Math still can’t get over? In other words, the feeling here is that Clips vs. Math warranted a Summer Madness card without the Diz drama, not a less worthy showing on ARP’s ‘Closure’ event (no disrespect to a fly concept, but still). As for the battle itself, the verdict is a a clear one with Clips taking it easy, even with Math delivering a pretty (“You pussy behind them bars, you a conjugal visit!”) solid 3 rounds. Whether it was taking on fake (or real) personals, challenges to his street cred or redundant shots by Math towards his dad all the while serving up nice rebuttals, gritty (“Math, I could keep fucking you up with these bars, but I want you to start living your life, you know what hurt a gangsta nigga more than bullets? when you give them advice!”) personals/name flips, steely pontifications and spitfire punchlines throughout his 3 rounds, minor a debatable 2nd round, a more versatile, prepared and haymaker-dishing Clips just proved to be too much in the first and 3rd rounds, thus gaining the win.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “It’s funny, you decked Dose, then your career started glowing up, then Diz decked you, then everything started slowing up, it’s the first time I ever seen an Arab stop somebody from blowing up!”

Math Hoffa defeats Heavy Half

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Recap: Dropping a versatile cluster of witty jokes, stirring storytelling bars, gritty schemes, fire name flips and fiery punchlines/gun bars, a well-prepared and confident Math Hoffa wildly impresses in the first two rounds to beat back RBE standout Heavy Half, who was hindered by a slow start in the 1st round, before his loud, aggressive and unorthodox stylings allowed things to get more competitive in the 2nd and 3rd rounds, the latter of which he edged via a more potent use of gritty punches/wordplay to make the final score respectable.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Apologies to the fans for the lows I had, my life, like his career, you don’t know the Half!”

Math Hoffa defeats Hollow Da Don

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Recap: Drenched with a shitload of themes surrounding loyalty and at the end of the day, one of the most personal battles you’ll ever see, for the most part the much-hyped grudge match between Math Hoffa and Hollow Da Don lives up to the expectations even with it being over an hour long. 1st round was the best one what with the two vets clearly not holding back on anything, swapping some dizzying punchlines along the way, but explicitly sharing their own view on how this battle came to be in the first place via gritty narratives on past beef, Coney Island (and battle) drama, some guy named Dizaster, potent schemes, witty bars and oh yeah, a hilarious new nickname for Hollow from Math: ‘Splish Splash!’. And while Math would allude to being more more interested in exploiting his opponent than actually winning the battle, his hard-hitting and sometimes downright mean war stories throughout this bout, would beg anyone to differ. That said, the opening round, while certainly a close one, the edge here goes to Hollow for more astute (“You’ve been playin’ this tough shit for over ten years my nigga, that’s what you really get, accept your karma, it was a Dose of somethin’ Serius! [serious]!”) angles to his lines while also flexing a bit more when it comes to versatility and wit. The 2nd round was a clear win for Math as while Hollow was able to dish another punch-centric and at times personal-heavy turn, some mediocre bars/schemes here and there, a couple of so-so rebuttals and a Hoffa who was just relentless when it came to fiery (“This gon’ be biblical, ‘cuz how you living is ruthless, you think you know a (Noah) nigga ’til the rain come and it give you the deuces!”) personals, bully bars and schemes would be too much. And while a way more condensed Hollow spit another solid and at times moving (“You know what else ain’t change? Ya attitude, neither did ya bank account, he look at change as somethin’ bad so I’m a leave you dead how you are, y’all remember what he just said? “I solidify my spot with gorillas…”, which makes sense cause apes never evolved!”) turn in the 3rd and deciding round, Hoffa would do way more to make his side of the beef narrative believable, expounding on tales from the two’s old friendship, mixing in some witty personals, deftly punching with some nice wordplay and most importantly when it comes to the overall theme of the battle, letting loose on Hollow’s allegedly bad business dealings. With the consistently aggressive, bodacious, funny and (“Hollow come on… your whole motto’s a con You pushin’ loyalty is like the pope preaching out the Koran!”) punch-heavy Hoffa also doubling his opponent on haymakers in the final round, this ‘Closure’ match from RBE ends up being Math’s for the taking.  

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1  

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Yeah, you beat Ars’, but ain’t matter cause he was punkin’ you, John John took ya Don status and put a slump in you, now ya name ain’t the same and it troubles you, ‘cuz Hollow’s just a ho and two L’s now he owe [‘O’] y’all a W!”

TheSaurus defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: Honestly expected more from two battle rap legends, Math Hoffa and TheSaurus, then this KOTD bout, which had its share of moments, hot punches/schemes (Math: ‘…they gone see Math vs Thesaurus and never click on this battle!”) and piercing personals, but overall didn’t measure up to what you’d expect from the name recognition. Still, after the two split the first couple of rounds, a fire rebuttal by Thesaurus along with a handful of haymakers in round 3 were enough to edge a righteous and on-its-way-to-being-epic, but also a bit flow-challenged and eventually shortened turn by Math.

Verdict: TheSaurus (W) 2-1

Favorite line: TheSaurus – “Every time he’s got a problem Math’s still counting on his hands!”

Ave defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: With little to no history behind them, Math versus Ave comes off as one of those random battles that got booked after their names got pulled out of bag. Nonetheless, outside of Math slipping up here and there as well as stopping his 3rd round short, the battle itself is still a goodie, packed with plenty of fiery punchlines, some nifty wordplay, bully bars, head-ringing guns bars and gritty personals that made things competitive throughout. That said, with a flow that was way more consistent and displaying authenticity with his rich performance, this one was all Ave, who simply out-punched his opponent in each round and took this hands down.

Verdict: Ave (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ave – “You ain’t nobody Smack gonna pay to see most, if this nigga can raise a penny at the door, he Patrick Swayze in Ghost!”

Math Hoffa defeats Snake Eyez

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Recap: Judging from his smile’s and head nod’s of approval throughout the battle, you just knew that Snake Eyez kicked the kind of shit that the veteran Math Hoffa likes: gritty street bars, flexing punchlines/gun bars, steady in-ya-face aggression and little to nothing when it came to the resident name flips Math normally hears. However, after splitting the first two rounds with Math, Snake’s elongated rounds, quixotic personals and lastly, a surprise tag-in by Hoffa’s ex, Bonnie Godiva, would slowly lead to his downfall. First Hoffa, who has struggled with keeping his flow together of late, managed to stay in his bag with enough witty barbs, potent personals, steely bully/gun (“I’ll raise these two arms and have them kicking like a musty nigga!”) semantics, nicer angles and haymakers to edge a more condensed round 1, before a solid round 2 is only edged by Snake having the (“Morgan Freeman, Mountain Dew [claps his hands], I’ll show you how to put a legend on ice!”) best bar of the round. The deciding round 3 is a competitive and a highly entertaining one with both battlers spitting juicy punches, rich performance bars, fiery schemes and visceral (Snake Eyez: “Nigga’s have all those blind jokes, till they eating smushed down pea’s!”) jabs. But after already dishing a hard turn, Snake’s choice to go extra with a blown-up photo prop, unexpectedly getting his Young X on with a ‘Get ‘Em!’ roast session and the aforementioned cameo by Ms. Godiva would backfire as a Hoffa not known for a rebuttal game, would start his turn with a couple of fire (“And as far as Bonnie, you really wanna go the rhyming route?, you taking about eating ass?!, I watch your battles, you got other nigga’s shit coming out your mouth!”) rebuts before seguing into a plethora of nasty written’s, Lux-inspired pontifications and real street banter (altogether a classic turn) to edge the round and take the battle.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “See, what you do with your battle money, you go buy some clothes, maybe cop you a chain, so ya bum ass could look fly while you hopping the train, nigga, you real corny, for everybody that take care of their kids, that’s real glory, you can’t feed yourself, what you gonna feed a kid, a jail story?!”

Math Hoffa defeats Real Deal

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Recap: Even with a not-so-great, but solid 1st round and a 2nd round that while hitting with effective punchlines, witty schemes/personals and bully bars all over the spot, was still beatable considering his opponent’s capability, for two rounds Math Hoffa does more than enough to beat back a mostly subpar, redundant theme-dishing and filler prone Real Deal. And tho the punchline/scheme crazy RD we’re used to seeing finally showed up to easily take the 3rd, by then it was too late.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “You trash Trevor, and I know you been knew that shit, I found his rap book at the hotel, I picked it up and threw that shit, a couple of minutes later raccoons was going through that shit, I swear I heard on read a line and the rest of ’em boo’ed that shit!”

Math Hoffa defeats Ill Will

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Recap: When your opponent even admits that this is the best version he’s seen of you, there’s a good chance that you got the battle won. Indeed, that’s the case here as Math Hoffa takes it back to his Marvwon and Arsonal days with a barrage of spitfire punchlines, witty (“People think that you a grimy dude, and honestly it might be true, but the only evidence we got, is you always dressing like it’s ’92!”) personals and hitting bully bars that, for two rounds anyway, put a serious hurting on a solid, but less potent and sometimes redundant Ill Will, who from the aforementioned salute to Math, clearly underestimated the strength of his opponent’s pen. Thankfully for Will anyway, a boisterous, (“I’m in his building, on the 3rd floor, arms waving, when I pop locks…I call it Turbo!”) gritty and consistent return to form in the final round was enough to force a debatable and avoid getting 30’d.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “The crowd ducking, security like ‘How he get the Larkin?’, I cheated, I had my bitch carrying [carry in], I’m Tristan Thompson!”

Math Hoffa defeats Shotti P

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Recap: In what amounted to a dope punchfest with an unexpected appearance from a drunk Real Deal, a consistently hardbody-punching and performance-lit, versatile, wordplay spicy and witty/personal-bent Math Hoffa is able to land a couple of more haymakers (esp. during a crazy round 1) in both of the opening rounds of this KOTD battle for the win, before opponent Shotti P edges the final round with a hitting, steadier-flowing/punching and condensed turn to avoid the shutout.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “The can on ya, I squeeze the heat like a hand warmer, double-tap P and open up playa like Pandora!”

Math Hoffa defeats Machete Trevy

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Recap: Altogether an entertaining battle that the legendary Supa Hot Fire would certainly be proud of, Math Hoffa travels all the way to Canada to flex his versatility with a couple of rare rebuttals, some fire schemes, witty jokes and potent set-ups, thus making relatively easy work of the slow-starting, but effective in the latter rounds Machete Trevy.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “This shit is pointless like lifting the seat just to piss on the wall!”

Math Hoffa defeats Jimz

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Recap: Jimz, who’s long talked about wanting to battle Math Hoffa, finally gets his shot on the KOTD stage and for the most part, fails to take advantage of the opportunity. The first couple of rounds are all Math, back on his bully shit, but also mixing in some clever schemes, witty bars and a hilarious 2nd round centered on flipping Jimz’ ‘Stop Being Dirty’ slogan for funny storytelling/performance bars on him working at a laundry cleaner (which when you consider what he did at the DNA battle, made a lot of sense) part-time. On the other hand, while the effort was there, Jimz’ first two rounds just seemed to be all over the map, incohesively spitting bars on random subjects with little to connect them with, before literally going into his backpack to pull out a gang of chicken nuggets that made for a major reach (and a messy stage) regarding an incident Hoffa had with Serius Jones years ago. With a chance for a 30 going into the last round, Math being Math as well as being back on the KOTD platform, couldn’t help himself but to bring up, yet again, Dizaster and other stuff that had nothing to do with his opponent–an alright, but beatable round that Jimz slayed with some wicked personals of his own and a couple of hot punchlines that allowed the Queens, NY, rapper to avoid getting shut out.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa -“You should battle Surf, I’m telling you, that’ll be a heavy body, ‘cuz you knwo more about Tide…than everybody!”

Showoff defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: Too easy to speak on all the tension and other nonsense that went down here. But there was so much of it that it needs to be addressed anyway. I say the blame should go down to both rappers-Showoff, for speaking during Math Hoffa’s round and his insbility to control his entourage shouting during Math’s bars. And Math for letting his emotions get the best of him in reaction to some of Show’s more personal and upclose personals. As for the battle itself, I got it coming down to the 3rd round, which saw Show easily take after Math cut his short in an apparent haste to just be done with the battle (or, to be fair, he might’ve choked). Bar and angle-wise the first two rounds were both fire and debatable, what with Math’s going after Show’s alleged sexuality with some intense (“‘Cuz I was on your bucket list, this is where your death start, I heard you suck so much dick, you grew your beard to hide the stretch marks!”) flair and (“You a faggot and I’m a legend, you more like Magic’s son!”) savviness. While Show, for the most part, delivered with spitfire (“That shit he write, shitty right?, snuffed Dose, 75 pounds but still ain’t drop him…shitty right!”) wordplay, witty (“You went bald, grew a hairline and went bald right back!”) bars and intense heat. But the 3rd is where Show really stepped it up and won the bout, addressing what he had to know was going to be part of Math’s angle, but also eloquently repping for Brooklyn with elite showmanship and some personals that Math clearly let the world know bothered him a little bit.

Verdict: Showoff (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Showoff – “You was riding Surf’s dick so much, he don’t need groupies, and then you threw Boom under the bus quick as the Speed movie!”

Math Hoffa defeats Dialect

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Recap: Thanks to a couple of no-shows, UK grime/battle rapper Dialect and Math Hoffa end up going at it in this one-rounder, with what’s alleged to be only 3 days prep. For Math, that’s astutely going in vet mode, what with a solid turn of acute name (“Now Dialect, let me put you on trial a sec, this bar court, your name’s ‘Dialect, so you know what that kinda says? you all talk!”) flips, potent wordplay and festive bully bars, For Dialect, that’s mostly hit-or-miss jokes, a couple of stumbles and more than a minute of grime rapping…that kept the crowd’s attention anyway, but didn’t do much else.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Fuck Dialect, ‘cuz Math is universal amongst the languages!”

Math Hoffa defeats Luciano Crakk

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Recap: Rebounding from the clear URL loss to T-Top, Math Hoffa gets back to basics, combining righteous jokes with aggressive punchlines, real-life semantics and resident (“I’ll hit this pussy so hard, I’ll bring his period down!”) bully bars to score an easy 3-0 over S.O.N.S.’ often forgotten member Luciano Crakk, who sadly after all these years, still has trouble putting together 3 clean rounds in a battle.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “You in the mafia?, oh please, you sold crack? I bet it was on both knees!”

T Top defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: A somewhat surprising Math Hoffa choke and T Top’s relentless personals and hard-hitting punches in rounds 2 and 3 gives the Parklife colonel a victory in this quasi-dope 3-rounder from Smack/URL. Math, who still showed up and can’t be knocked for being a little distracted considering he had a baby that same morning, edged round one with a more condensed and (“4 glocks, catch this fat nigga in the coke spot, twist him with all 4 burners, that’s how you stove Top!”) hard barfest that hit at a higher ratio than Top’s (“They called me, say Math trying to get back on Smack, I said ‘cool’, I’m used to putting nigga’s back on smack!”) storytelling-drenched, but elongated and laborious 1st round. Round two was a clear body for Top, who while continuing to dish hard on old themes/name flips associated with his opponent, mixed in some more recent drama surrounding Math (i.e. Chris Unbias and Taxstone beef) and niftly threw in his renowned drug talk with urban (“Glock 40, can you read the serial Math?, if not I’ll jam the numbers in ya head, that’s Miracle Math!”) street flair to easily even things up (the aforementioned Math choke non-withstanding). With momentum on his side going into the last round, Top went for the kill and more than delivered, spouting a brutal, edgy and classic turn via seismic (“I bet he ain’t been the same since the Arabs whooped him, now when he in all the corner stores, it feel like the all the Arabs looking, hey the bitch won’t even order a sandwich if the Arabs cooking, he go to the Popi store and say the Arabs crooked!”) haymakers, aggressive (“You went to Cali without your gun?, that’s a bad move, you always supposed to carry your one, that’s a Math rule!”) personals and fiery (“…BOW! That’s for getting stole in the mouth!”) performance bars to beat what was an at times funny and (“Nigga, suck a dick, just like your mother used to do, to get another hit!”) solid, but ultimately a little too laborious turn by Hoffa. Hopefully Hoffa, who seemed to be hinting at quitting battle rap at the end of this battle, can come back less distracted while getting the match-ups he really wants/deserves, if he chooses to return.

Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I told NuNu I wanted Top, she ain’t understand!”

Head Ice defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: Like DNA choosing to rap over a beat in the 3rd round versus K-Shine or John John da Don choosing to go on BET’s Rap City and get beat by a no-name, white kid…you can file this one under
‘Worst Life Decisions’. How else to explain Math Hoffa, co-headlining a much-anticipated and long-awaited matchup versus Head Ice, choosing to show up in a robe, set up a DJ to provide lame horror film sound effects while he rapped, all the while spitting what amounted to mostly pedestrian bars that lacked any sort of spark or ingenuity? To think, throughout this battle, what with a bunch of nonsensical blather and that took away from some lowkey funny and gritty shit that landed, Head Ice clearly wasn’t on his A-game either. But damn if Hoffa even cared about winning this battle in the first place, he was that bad.

Verdict: Head Ice (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Head Ice -“You a one-way ticket, if tables ever turned you’ll get gunplay with it, nigga’s will have trays all over your head like this Riker’s Island and we want your Sunday chicken!”

Bigg K defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: In layman’s terms, if Math Hoffa (understandably) is tired of hearing opponent’s use name flips on him, then veteran battle rapper that he is, he should certainly be able to understand white battle rappers who long tire of hearing lazy race angle’s used against them. Now onto the battle, Bigg K with steady (“It’s just me and the piece, I don’t meditate, bust his head to the white meat, that’s how I segregate!”) punches that landed well versus an albeit hard at times, but filler-prone turn from Math…took round 1. Raising his bar quotient with a better mix of more hard-body rhymes and fiery (“I still got that axe, I give nigga’s the grimy side, the scar will heal [heel] and bubble like an AirMax ’95!”) bully bars, Math evened things up in the 2nd by pummeling an up-n-down round by Bigg K. After that? All Bigg K. Saving his best round for the last, K just went straight in, putting aside his usual assortment of rapid punches for a most-likely embellished, but still entertaining, hard-hitting and (“You put the smack! in Smack, then the Knocked Out in KOTD!”) truth-telling round surrounding Math’s recent fight after his battle versus Dizaster that you could feel through the screen. And apparently, Math felt it too, stumbling to rebuttal K’s stirring personals at the start of his 3rd before seguing to his written’s that contained some nice struggle bars, but which if you’ve seen enough Bigg K battles versus black guys, when it comes to polemics concerning race, we’ve heard enough times before.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bigg K –  “Ever since that happened, our conversations getting hell’a short, it’s like he mad at me ‘cuz I didn’t teleport!”

Quest MCODY defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: From Detroit’s Barbarian Battle Grounds, after getting outscored by a punch-heavy and versatile Math Hoffa in round 1, a cadence-lit Quest Mcody gets busy and more substantive with the bars via stinging bouts of spicy lyrical warfare that with a few rigid personals and some flexing wordplay mixed in, allowed the Motor City vet to take rounds 2 and 3 for the win over an earnest, but much less hitting Hoffa.

Verdict: Quest Mcody (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Quest Mcody – “You see these Tek’s [texts] book, this ain’t Borders bitch!”

Tony D defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: Despite some nice (“If it’s that personal, I’mma go to ya crib, scare ya mum while she cooking, [Bow!] put a hole in her fridge!”) punchlines here and (“These light-skin niggas man, I don’t want no beef, Drake got y’all niggas turned up, I ain’t trying to be no Meek”) there, Math Hoffa gets caught up in his feelings, allowing outside the ring drama to get in his head and induce some rare slip-ups as well as an off-the-dome rant that while allowing him to vent his frustrations with current-day battle rap, didn’t help his cause of being able to keep it professional in the ring. That, and what was mostly a consistently (forgive him for daring to mention the words ‘Humpty Dumpty’ in a battle) tight and personal (“You fell off, I remember days when you was a heavyweight, now you don’t cut the top tier like a wedding cake”) savvy round from the UK’s Tony D, allowed the Hollow da Don’s doppelganger to pull off a mild upset.

Verdict: Tony D (W) 1-0

Favorite line:  Tony D – “Bro, you punch rappers in battles, and then moan when you get punched and then moan more when your opponents in battles bring the shit up!”

Hitman Holla defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: “It’s 8 o’clock”. Smh. With all the unprofessional interruptions, bad mics and b/w footage, I guess there are plenty of good reasons why King Juce Battle League got out of the battle rap business pretty quickly. Small battle league problems aside, Hitman Holla and Math Hoffa still put on a pretty good show with plenty of witty barbs, fiery personals, showmanship (esp. on Hitman’s part, what with the ‘gun ), some hot punchlines, fierce braggadocio lines and even a couple of nice rebuttals (esp. Math’s shot at ‘Big Gerald’ in the final round). Tied going into the 3rd, the edge here goes to Hitman, but not so much for what he did do in what was a essentially a solid turn, but for what Math did, which is go on too long with too many pedestrian bars in an elongated turn that would’ve been winnable if it was just more condensed with less filler.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “It’s a known fact that if you strapped, it’ll never ring, [but] if you see me with a hammer, I’m coming to fix everything!”

Math Hoffa defeats Crome

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Recap: Surely, O-Zone Battles could’ve found a better opponent for the ‘American rapper’ Math Hoffa than Crome, who overplayed his angles, reached hard on too many bars and for the most part fell (“Just like you not paying child support, Math doesn’t add up”) flat with his personals–all of which even made Math wonder out loud how he ended up battling this guy. Math, who was a little lazy at times with the pen, still brought enough of a B-game floor (“[holds hands like long gun] Say everything you gotta say to me in front of this shotty, then ‘BOOM!!!’ I open Crome like I don’t fuck with Safari”) Crome with the wordplay, tickle the crowd’s funny bones with the jokes and overwhelmed his opponent with the fierce personals to score an easy 3-0.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “How the fuck could you not heat up?, you the biggest hole in the O-Zone!”

Math Hoffa defeats Chilla Jones

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Recap: Rest assured Math Hoffa versus Chilla Jones will go down as a finalist for 2015 Battle of the Year. With contrasting styles and both putting forth their A-game, each battler had the crowd buzzing throughout the match, more than giving the fans their money’s worth. Math’s first round was straight fire, a sizzling combo of contentious bully (“You ain’t about that life, you ain’t been where I been Chilla, forget who the F U R and that’s your chin-Chilla”) bars, heated wordplay and wicked performance bars/schemes. Yet, an undaunted Chilla, quickly returned the fire with a series of lofty (“What good is street cred if you can’t spit that tight?, you get broken off with 4 bars, you the Kit Kat type”) punchlines and fiery name flips that somewhat went away from his forte, but still worked well. Second round kept the crowd hyped with Math putting on emphasis on creatively mocking his opponent’s (“When you tell niggas you scheming that means you rhyming shit for ’em, if I tell niggas I’m scheming, that means go inside it’s a warning”) style, while Chilla gamely turned the table on Math’s notorious real rap lines with steady sermons (“You worry about looking real, that’s something I feel is pitiful, cuz whats’ real about your kids going to jail to visit you and birthdays and holidays past, but you still invisible”) on what really matters most in life. Last round served up another stellar platter with Math splitting his time supplying more (“5 niggas against one, that ain’t a jump, that’s a leap!”) rhetoric on the infamous Dizaster battle along with some aggressive BK (“We slide through, bust it in Ds, it ain’t a titty fuck!”) punches that landed hard. Chilla’s 3rd, arguably his most consistent round, saw him step to Math with some fresh (“If you used that wood proper like you should patna, Bonnie would’ve came back like good posture!”) personals, amiable wordplay and good-natured jokes that’d make Drake proud. Overall a great battle, but while Chilla showed off his humor and took away Math’s penchant for disrespecting his pen game, some of his set-ups took too long, he did have some filler and one wishes he’d played to his strength and schemed a little more. Thus, credit Math for sticking to his repertoire and having a tighter ratio of dope bars per lines, a slightly better performance, a nice counter for all of Chilla’s (“Inside you mad you ain’t fucking with me, youze a Bonnie nigga”) Bonnie drops/Dizaster lines and a wider degree of angles throughout the match, especially in rounds 1 and 3 to take the win.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chilla Jones -“When y’all want bars, he just be rapping facts at you…I mean this gonna be a serious [Serius] disaster [Dizaster]”

Math Hoffa defeats Dizaster

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Recap: After getting edged by a heavy (“What happened? why you want to punk dudes like little Mookie and T-Rex?, what happened last time you came to L.A.? where was your reflex?, when you got water poured all over your shoes and you got G checked, I guess you could say it was his first time in L.A. and he was still getting his feet wet!”) pontificating, scheme-slinging and mayhem-dishing Dizaster in the 1st round, Math Hoffa ups the ante on an already fiery punch game and delivers a blistering, witty, punchline-crazy and (“Surprised you ain’t dead yet, you be taking all them methamphetamine’s, do me a favor, never get blasted off of heroin, cause that’ll get you outclassed and out of your element, cause on Smack, you was the wackest that you ever been!”) personal-blazing 2nd to even things out over a solid, but not as potent turn by Diz, before doubling-down on some already exquisite wordplay during a just-as-dope 3rd (i.e. classic) that was also seismic on personals. Dizaster, who dished some pretty aggressive schemes and lofty punches/personals in the deciding round, was hurt a bit by bouts with filler and a little too much sermonizing, thus allowing a more steady and commanding Math to take the round and the win.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I watched your battles till your fucking voice was hurting my ears, I put the pen to the page, hoping verses appear, but this is why I hate Scrabble, sometimes I got no words for these squares!”

K-Shine and Math Hoffa [TIE]

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Recap: MC War 2-round battle over beats between Math Hoffa (“About to see I get Shine boxed like little Tommy in Goodfellas!”) and K-Shine is a goodie as both emcees go in, lacing a piercing beat with boastful barbs, spicy punchlines and rugged personals. Always intriguing to see a battle rapper rhyme over a beat, with an equal amount of consistency with the bars, cadence with the beat and rich content, we give both rounds a draw, making the battle itself a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: K-Shine – “It’s like a nigga saying goodbye, when that Larkin clap, as soon as a nigga peace [piece] out, it go in Hoffa back!”

Serius Jones defeats Math Hoffa (DQ) [Rematch]

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Recap: Listen, Jones bringing out the twerking girls and distracting Math while he rapped was extra, dumb in its execution and totally unprofessional. But that sucker punch by Math was extra, extra dumb, super lame, left yet another bad mark on battle rap and whatever suspension he got from URL afterwards was well deserved (esp. after he went on the likes of Vlad TV to make excuses and laugh about it). All that aside, here’s a video of Jones spitting the 3 rounds he intended to spit after the battle was over as well as Math dishing one round of his. Since the battle ended right after the incident, we’ll only count the bars that actually took place.

Verdict: Serius Jones (W) 1-0 by DQ

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “Well, now you better Holla at a Hitman, ‘cuz when Jones out murkin’ I’ll kill everybody in this building just so we could have a no-crowd version!”

Math Hoffa defeats Daylyt

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Synopsis: Daylyt’s battle rap career is starting to remind me of QP’s (Qleen Paper). Great start, unique presence and exquisite bars, but too many battles in a short amount of time and the huge buzz just slowly died. I mean just from watching Daylyt’s homemade video’s you could tell how funny he is, but now his battles have become too much (esp. here) clownery over bars. In other words the same guy who showed up and went toe-to-toe against Rich Dollarz, Philly Swain and Spee Dolla has been replaced by a guy who just wants to be weird and make you laugh. Anyway, Math got this….tho I wouldn’t be surprised if his next opponent mentions how Daylyt punked him with that push.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-0

Best line: Math Hoffa – “I stopped fighting over colors back in kindergarten”

T-Rex defeats Math Hoffa (Rematch)

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Recap: One-round rematch between T-Rex and Math is edged by Rex thanks to a couple of (“You had the ghost of B.I.G. in one of your joints like you raw like that, you seen B.I.G. last whip?, my niggas will do your car like that”) haymakers, thus earning a win for Rex who wisely also dropped the fast-rapping that plagued him in the 1st battle and delivery/bar-wise put forth a more consistent and versatile performance. Math had some dope (“After you battled O-Red we had to book you through a weegie board!”) bars here and there and was energetic throughout, but faltered a bit towards the end of his round and relied too much on the same formula he used in the first Rex battle. Still a good show nonetheless with two top tier battlers giving you a rare rematch and as a bonus it even included some scene-stealing appearances by K-Shine and Bonnie Godiva.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex- “Niggas be starting to die if I actually get upset, cuz a nigga play the dick until there’s a magnum’s on his head”

Math Hoffa defeats John John da Don

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Synopsis: This battle really made no sense. JJDD, a Proving Ground neophyte, versus Math Hoffa, a seasoned veteran. Sure, both are well-known and in 2013, they’re battle game has gotten real prolific. But there’s no history here, much less any beef, plus you’re dealing with two completely different styles. So I can only garner a guess that Hoffa felt he was doing JJDD a favor by battling him, who knows?

Either way, John John took a serious L from the start, thinking he could go completely out of character and bully URL’s No. 1 bully instead of using the type of stellar name flips, schemes and work play that he put up so well against X-Factor–just another in a series of bad decisions. Then he plays himself by bringing up Dose while proceeding to turn his hat backwards. After that (tho, you could arguably give JJDD the first round only because Math’s was so short) it all went downhill from there and not even John John’s best “Multiple Choice”could save him. Especially against vintage Math: consistent aggression while completely sonning John John in both the 1st and 3rd rounds, addressing JJDD’s renowned thievery, spitting a classic 2nd round, crowd control, personals, biblical schemes and of course…bars like that.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Best line: Math Hoffa – “For murder I come loaded with 3 clips beams that will shine, I spot your tee, I’mma leave shit clean, that’s 48 shots, that’ll make me see with spleens, they asked why son died, I gave John 3, 16…”

Math Hoffa defeats J. Dose

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Synopsis: First, major props to J. Dose for even showing up. I mean, serving as a punchline for so long after infamously getting decked on stage during a rap battle would probably make dudes go underground, get a job at UPS and never be heard from again…understandably so. Secondly, other than a decent 1st round that featured some too real bars on life since The Punch, it’s clear here that Dose–armed with too much filler, elongated rounds and lame schemes–just isn’t quite ready for the URL stage. Lastly, you get Math at his best: bars on deck, all-too-funny jokes, bully semantics and biting personals. Take out the fact that Math’s still making excuses for that lost to Calicoe and that one bar from Dose (“Cuz’ in these battle [world] niggas drop albums, and he still holding off well…one hit”) that had to hurt Math ego’s just a little bit and URL’s first ever rematch is nothing but Hoffa all day.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Best line: Math Hoffa – “I had this dude on the floor screaming out ‘Why me?’, I send four roman (roaming) your way you get the I V”

Math Hoffa defeats Shotty Horror

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Recap: A somewhat bizarre match between Math and Shotty Horror as Math shockingly takes a round off (which I don’t have a problem with considering that other athletes do it, like boxers and tennis players) and Shotty besides some nice Tupac schemes, surprisingly underwhelms before totally slipping up in round 3 and having to resort to freestyling in order to save him from a choke. That said, overall an easy win for Math, who despite at times struggling with his delivery, easily took rounds 1 and 3 with better penmanship, consistency and personals to gain a win in Manchester over one of Europe’s best.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Now if you ain’t in Manchester, you probably can’t win fights, this slave went to the North so he could land [swings punch] his rights!”

Math Hoffa defeats Shotgun Suge

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Synopsis: “Bully” vs, “Bully”, just what the fans had wanted. But based on experience and lyrics alone did anybody really think Shotgun had a chance? Despite a couple of early stumbles Math’s consistent personals, aggression, jokes and of course, bars like that just did a number on an over-matched from jump Suge–who while not aware that Tupac was actually born in New York, came with typical aggression, delivery, shit-talking (“You think life’s a fucking joke nigga, you gon fuck around with them fuck arounds and fuck around and get smoked nigga”) and even some hot bars (“you gonna catch a nugget in New York like number 7 from the Knicks”). Still, Math’s fat jokes (“he talk about he the shooter and the driver, cuz can’t nobody else fit in the whip'”) and that real talk during Round 1 about how Suge almost got Arsonal and Surf killed in Detroit, was more than enough for Brooklyn to take home the trophy.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Best line: Math Hoffa – “When Trick Trick stepped to Arsonal it was over you, if I was Surf I’d punch you in the face for what I’m gonna do, I guess this shit was overdue, a lesson learned for both of you, a shotgun does the most damage when it’s close to you”

Pat Stay defeats Math Hoffa

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Recap: Even with the usual narratives we witness with these two: Math Hoffa “bully”-semantics and Pat Stay’s alleged drug use/topsy-turvy friendship with Hollohan making appearances, these two top tier battlers still put on a dope, competitive showing in this entertaining 3-rounder from KOTD. Pat, with plenty of boastful shiners and witty personals included in his repertoire consistently wrecked havoc, while a wily and aggressively stunting Math impressed throughout the battle with a gang of slick wordplay whether it was directed at his opponent or at KOTD. Still, after a debatable 1st round, it’s Pat who manages to lay down a higher quotient of haymakers in each of the latter rounds for the win.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Everyday you gotta put on that tough mood, God that must bug you, his mom’s be like, ‘Love you!’, he be like, ‘Whatever. Fuck you!'”

Math Hoffa defeats Arsonal

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Recap: Showing off some superb bar execution and fine set-ups/breakdowns, all the while ridiculing his opponent Arsonal’s alleged lack of bar efficiency throughout the bout, mixing in some witty barbs, rough bully talk, stinging personals (esp. during a and performance-rich punches (not including some shots at the Dot Mobb crew), Math Hoffa flexes with a versatile game of bullish lyrical heat (esp. during a potent round 2 where he took shots at Arsonal and Murda Mook) to beat back a punch-bent and witty at times, but mostly pedestrian and elongated Arsonal for all 3 rounds of this main event matchup from UW Battle League.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “You did the ABC’s in your last battle, that’s why I feel blessed we could meet, ‘cuz I got a question…could you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?!”

Math Hoffa defeats Marv Won

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Synopsis: Equipped with plenty of hilarious fat jokes, mocking personals, spicy storytelling, hardbody punchlines and some dope wordplay, Math Hoffa certainly brings the versatility (tho the shot at Calicoe was pretty lame and had all the dressings of a sore loser) to this Poison Pen/URL 3-rounder against Marvwon. And while the Detroit vet came through with a solid and nifty punch game of his own, an inconsistent showing from Narv to go along with a superb performance by Math warrants the 30.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Best line: Math Hoffa – “Look at this Man! He checks his email looking for Spam!”

Calicoe defeats Math Hoffa

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Synopsis: Call this an upset because at the time of this battle there was nothing on Calicoe resume that could’ve made you even guess that he could pull off this total dismantling of Math Hoffa. From the superb “golddigger” bar to stepping in Math’s grill with the “Dose” line to taking shots at Math’s NYB crew to calling out Loaded Lux in round 3, Calicoe puts on a total show with an all-around dope performance featuring hot bars and wicked (“What you ’bout 6’6″?, It don’t even matter you still a big bitch”) personals. Of course, Math would later try to blame this on the crowd rooting for the ‘underdog’ and him going through some drama that morning. But no one told Math to try and punk Calicoe early in his 1st round, much less dress up like the Unabomber for a battle. But whatever, in setting up his upcoming battle against Loaded Lux, Calicoe just used Math Hoffa like a rag doll and that’s what you call a “landslide”, indeed.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Calicoe – “Straight disrespect talk to all of ya men reckless, my chrome, man that bitch keep banging more that Karrine Steffans”

Math Hoffa defeats Aye Verb

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Synopsis: First, props to Aye Verb for standing his ground to the Battle Rap Bully in a room littered with Brooklyn fiends–Verb brought up the Dose battle and Math gay rumors while showing no fear or intimidation in front of a guy who loves to play off that shit. Second, that Math dickrider in the green shirt really gets on my nerves, laughing at just about everything Math says while side-eyeing Verb throughout his rounds, even the corny lines (any wonder Calicoe brought up the antics of Math’s cheerleaders in their battle). But lastly, line for line, this battle was really no contest with Math delivering gems like “nigga please, you see the type of reach I got?, you can’t read my speed, you gonna spit a couple of teeth and drop, your people’s they gonna leave the spot and in a couple of weeks this twat gonna wake up out his coma with the same beard jesus got” with typical bravado all the while storytelling with lively warnings and over-the-top hilarity that even had Verb losing it. Brooklyn wins.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Best Line: Math Hoffa – “Captain Marketable, I could sell you on all kinds of shit, for one you could be a face model for a hollow tip”

Math Hoffa defeats T-Rex

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Recap: Long-awaited showdown between T-Rex and Math Hoffa serves as the first ever URL.TV Main Event, making it a classic no matter what went down. That said, overall it’s Rex’s delivery that lets him down (i.e. ‘girl let me thriller’ – ‘Thriller’?; “I be in Math house when I want some head, I’m ass naked in his living room like ‘Math you want some eggs'”?!?) at times, but Rex’s consistent (“Move!, he pissed Rex off, now he seeing tek’s drawn, dots on his Lex door like I’m playing Connect Four”) aggression and a lazy, joke-heavy 2nd round from Math lets Rex even things up after Math got the first with better punches (“I’m like an A-bomb popping off, Molotov, I spit a Molotov cocktail and spit a Holocaust!”) and versatility. Although Rex still had some gritty (“Little sister had a problem with me digging her out, she was so young I made the Airplane noise tp put my dick in her mouth”) bars left at the end, but last round sees Math win it gripping (“No matter who you battle, you never gonna shine ’cause you living in Mook’s shadow”) personals, wild jokes and a richer performance.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “You should take Viagra, you might get a little taller”

Math Hoffa defeats Iron Solomon

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Recap: Math Hoffa got this one over with early, using fierce bully (“I could get Iron snatched just for trying Math, have him like a skinny white girl, can’t find his ass”) bars, rich punchlines and too-funny (“I said ‘Iron I got that butta. what’s crackin’?’, he said ‘I’m more of a Parkay guy, it’s less fattening”) jokes/schemes in the first couple of rounds to take out what he not only predicted in Iron’s repeated use of name flips, but recycled/substandard bars that more often than not didn’t match Solomon’s aggression. Thus, by the time Iron found his groove (“He looking at me like white boys can’t jump, till I step off the bench and light ya ass up!”/I’m an upcoming pump, you the worst kind of whore, that gets fucked once and quits ‘cuz your vagina sore!”) in a round 3, it was too late.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I got a thing for your sister, you outta notice, she the first white girl that I smashed, we met at Lotus, she took the kid raw so I could spray on her faster, I felt like caviar the way I came on a cracker [cracka]”

Math Hoffa defeats Benjamin Benz

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Recap: Some footage from Math Hoffa’s early battle days in Fight Klub against Benjamin Benz. Obviously unable to judge the whole battle, but it’s public knowledge that Math’s only loss in Fight Klub was to Serius Jones and who knows if FK will ever release the entire battle. Nonetheless, it was a win for Math.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W)

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I done put more work in on the streets than surgeons on Lil’ Kim’s grill”

Math Hoffa defeats Nemz

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Recap: Math’s renowned sense of humor is on full display here against Nemz. Can’t judge the whole battle as you only get the 3rd round and Sudden Death OT here, but nonetheless Math still got the win in this judged battle.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W)

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Little bitch, little bitch, by now all your hope is gone, niggas wouldn’t sign you if you was a cast on a broken arm”

J Dose defeats Math Hoffa (DQ)

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Synopsis: Hell hath no fury like a rapper scorned. After all, part of what makes battle rap great is the pure tension in the air along with sheer machismo on display, especially when you put together two emcees who have a history of not liking each other personally. But still, the idea of the wrong word (or phrase) being said at a rap battle leading to all bets being called off and a fight erupting, is a whole ‘nother story and never good for the sport. Yet, in this case, what with Hoffa just getting flat-out disrespected after he allegedly warned Dose beforehand not to go there….well, sometimes a man’s gotsa do what he gotsa do.

Verdict: J Dose (W) 1-0

Best line: J Dose – “Keep a sawed off like woodshop class, Crook might blast, chrome to ya cranium, *click clack* BOOM! turn this dome to a stadium!”

Instant classic: Hoffa – “I was supposed to battle T-Rex, but he was scared”