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Serius Jones

John John Da Don defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Serius Jones versus John John Da Don, a matchup between two battle rap vets that one would’ve thought had taken place already awhile ago considering the longtime allegations of bar thievery (i.e. the notorious ‘All of the Above’ scheme frequented by both), finally takes place for 3 rounds on Chrome 23 thanks to Aye Verb who backed out of battling Serius at the last minute. And let’s just say, what with 3 days prep, JJDD showed levels here. The Bullpen Battle League head honcho delivering a stellar (classic) 1st round that superbly encapsulated rhyme structure as well as variety with its fire personals, potent set-up/punchlines, wit, braggadocio darts and flexing name flips. In round two JJDD would go on another dope run with a gang of fiery schemes, more nasty personals and piercing wordplay. And while Jones kept it competitive in the early rounds with a bunch of hard-hitting punches and less filler than usual, the former Fight Klub champ was still mired in elongated rounds when he wasn’t rapping one too many pedestrian schemes, personals and bars. Round 3 with a bit of a consistent comeuppance by Jones punch-wise and a bit a still pretty solid, but shortened turn by JJDD, ends up as a debatable.

Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1

Favorite line: John John Da Don – “We all had our battle rap beef, it’s not embarrassing, but this is Philly where A.I. crosssed-over, it’s how you carry it!”

Tay Roc defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: A long-awaited grudge match between Serius Jones and Tay Roc finally takes place on URL’s Smack Volume 11 card and besides Roc attempting to spoil the show again with his silly and unnecessary ‘almost fight’ antics, the outcome here was just about what you’d expect. Jones, who to be fair almost always gives a full-hearted effort, did seem to listen a bit to critics who’ve recently urged him to update his flow patterns and new era colloquialisms. But despite some hard punches here and there as well as jokes and freestyles (which surprisingly he doesn’t do enough of) that oft-landed, way too many reaches as well as way too many subpar punches/personals to go along with a gang of lyrical schrmical darts during his trio of elongated rounds would once again prove to be too much to overcome. On the other Roc, who’s clearly chasing the COTY award this year what with him battling so often of late, gave a workmanlike performance that reminded the crowd (and hopefully his opponent) that there’s levels to this. The Gun Titles capo unleashing a mostly (after a slow start to his 3rd, Roc would turn it up in the latter half to get the 30) consistent, mayhem-lit, rapid-fire barrage of fiending wordplay, stinging gun bars, rich similes, flexing name flips and sturdy punchlines to score more than enough haymakers in each round for the win.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “You trash, I don’t care if they saying that homie is cooking, this pussy say something to make me mad and hook him, wire jaw through a straw, you eating Tapioca pudding!”

Geechi Gotti defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: I’m sorry, but I’ve witnessed Aye Verb battle in front of too many hostile NY crowds, and never let that effect his performance, to feel bad for Serius Jones going through the same thing here. Then too with a litany of dated bars/schemes (esp. that Wu-Tang shit), subpar name flips/punches and elongated rounds, one can’t help but wonder (even tho he did have a solid round 1) if Jones will ever be able to change up his style to get with the new era of battle rap. But whatever Sharif. As outside of that, in this 3-rounder from URL’s Homecoming 2 card, it was all Geechi Gotti here. The EFB capo scoring some big payback from Jones after the NJ vet was going ham on stage cheering Murda Mook on during their battle last year. And no, it wasn’t just the blistering Math Hoffa (who just happened to be there on stage looking on and even flipped the coin beforehand) personals that did Serius in. But also a plethora of blazing freestyle/rebuttals, gritty street/trap talk, witty darts, hard-hitting punchlines and crafty name flips that handily got Geechi the 30.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “My 9’s popping, bitch I’ll have your at the hospital telling your family they can’t do nothing more, bitch, I’ll have your vital signs looking like a underscore!”

Chilla Jones defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Deftly taking on his opponent’s battle rap deficiencies (i.e. reaches, ego, etc) throughout the battle, while also scoring with some righteous storytelling, potent wordplay, mocking personals, fiery set-ups, dope punchlines and a boatload of fierce schemes, Chilla Jones makes up for a disappointing showing in his last battle against Emerson Kennedy by taking both of the opening rounds here in this URL/Super Fight 6 card to get the win over Serius Jones, who while delivering another lyrically solid (and witty at times) performance in his latest URL run (in fact, he took the 3rd here), still victimized himself with elongated rounds that contained too much filler, personals/angles that were so-so and ghastly pedestrian (‘All I C is Chilla backwards’) bars that he probably should’ve ran by one of his friends before he decided to use it.

Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “Self-love, I wasn’t even gonna take you Serius because nobody else does!”

JC defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Although he’s still doing way too much intrusive shit while his opponent is rapping, one could argue that the version of Serius Jones we see here during this Smack Volume 6 matchup against JC, is the best we’ve ever seen from the Jersey veteran. Sure, Jones is still cocky as ever, his rounds were a little longwinded and he needs to get over the Math personals (hey, if they can still talk about JC’s infamous dance video then they can talk about ‘The Punch’), but for the most part the dated bars (‘tho that Martin bar in the 2nd round was sublime) and reaches were gone, the punches and schemes were much more substantive, the self-deprecation was humbling, he was still witty and righteous when needed and that rapid, more intricate and versatile flow with a mix of some killer personals/wordplay was especially dope to see, especially during what was a superlative 2nd round. That said, JC still edge rounds 1 and 3 for the win. The Michigan battler getting past a surprising 2nd round choke with a variety of crazy set-ups/name flips, gritty punchlines, piercing gun bars, well-executed personals and punch-drunk mayhem during two slightly more condensed turns for what was a close vic.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “Talking about ‘I shoot like KD!’, like it’s something spiritual, till you take the wrong shot, get tore up over a line and the Bucks will finish you!”

Swamp defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: In this URL/Super Fight 5 matchup, a couple of slip-ups by Swamp in the final round vs. an elongated, but cleaner turn by Serius Jones cost the South Carolina battler the 30. But by then this one was all Swamp as the down South spitter used a versatile, personal-lit, witty and punch-heavy opening round to take the 1st (which also featured a super awkward moment when Jones pulled out a diamond tester as a gimmick early in his round, only to have it malfunction on him which in turn led to Serius slipping up a few times when attempting to get back to his bars) before using a set-up rich, righteous at times and wordplay/name flip/personal-crazy 2nd to gain the win over an opponent who while making a game comeback in the 1st, followed that up with a mostly pedestrian middle round that took away any chance he had at winning.

Verdict: Swamp (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Swamp – “Hey URL, y’all really gotta stop trying me homie, I said nothing about Serius Jones, I think I said serious inquiries only!”

Rum Nitty defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: From the 1st round of URL’s Summer Madness 3 tournament, even with Serius Jones dialing up the best round the battle (a punch-heavy, versatile and sublime 2nd) and Rum Nitty not quite on his A-game throughout this contest, it’s the gun bar lit, name flip savvy, personal-witty/mocking and more punchline intricate Nitty who edges out the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win.

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Rifle, on a tripod, I use it to shoot straight, I put the stand up and got serious [Serius] like I’m losing in 2k

Tony D. defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Well ummm…that was bad. Really bad. Yet, to Serius Jones’ credit, an alright freestyle game allowed him to complete his 2nd and 3rd rounds (after he choked in the 1st) and avoid what would’ve been a pretty embarrassing bodybag.–to think, this is a guy who was not only a former Fight Klub champ, but has wins over the likes of Charlie Clips, Dizaster and Arsonal under his belt. As for opponent Tony D.? Nothing too spectacular here (not that he needed much considering his opponent’s many failings), but still a spiffy barrage of witty barns, feelgood personals, jaunty boasts and some abstract punchlines more than did their job.

Verdict: Tony D (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Tony D – “You talking battle rapping in its prime?, I led a champion’s life, anyone could be a veteran, ‘cuz that shit’s just a matter of time!”

Math Hoffa and Serius Jones [DEBATABLE] (3rd Battle)

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Recap: Took a very long while, but thanks to RBE, we finally get to see 3 rounds of Serius Jones versus Math Hoffa. And after much hype, the battle itself was…ok. Not that, with all the back-n-forth, alleged Miami incidents, video blogging and animosity still lingering over the years, this battle didn’t have its share of machismo moments and flexing gestures that made you think the possibility of yet another incident could occur. But thankfully, both battlers kept it professional and left it all up to the bars. That said, surprisingly bar efficiency was lacking and inconsistent on both sides as both Serius and Math weren’t at their sharpest when it came to their pen games. Still, with quite a few dry spots and way too much bravado/sermonizing, by landing a couple of more haymakers that his more subpar opponent Serius edges the 1st round, before a more a consistently nice with the punches, witty at times and better equipped with the personals Math evened things up by taking the 2nd round. The 3rd round turned out to be each one’s best as Serius stepped up his wordplay and thus was able to score heavily at times with a wide load of piercing punchlines. But after a slow start, Math, who was displaying better angle/scheme work throughout the match, came through in the latter half of his turn, with some exemplary (“…but since I put hands on you, you done seen me 4 or 5 times, I’m very tangible, but you know if you try some dumb shit, I’m gonna mangle you, you don’t want the hands my nigga because I will handle you, but since you do little [Dolittle], watch the way you talk to animals!”) punchlines/personals to back his narratives and more importantly make the round and battle a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “See?, this nigger think he could just get away with telling stories, but you a good fraud, you should change your name to Algebra ”cuz before you figure him out, Math just look hard!”

Ill Will defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: A last-minute replacement for Ill Will, credit to Serius Jones for only filling in and showing up for this battle, but really showing up. That is, making it competitive for all 3 rounds with the kind of aggression, (“You see, I done ate salmon on a yacht and I done ate tuna in a can, but I ain’t a legend because of what I did, I’m a legend ‘cuz of who I am!”) boasts and seismic punchlines/gun bars that made Serius a household name in battle rap in the first place. Still, against the likes of Yak-town’s finest, an opponent usually needs more to stand a chance of winning. And tho he dropped his penchant for dated bars throughout the battle, when it came to elongated turns, reaches, pedestrian bars and out-of-nowhere lines on the infamous Math Hoffa punch (which ironically would serve as an ideal set-up to Will’s personal-heavy 3rd round) from years back, Serius’ would end up hurting himself. But ultimately, a spitfire throughout Ill Will, confident, vigorous, entertaining, fire the (“I got split personalities my nigga, you can meet one, like you got Will in your face, then your mama read one!”) punches and extra witty with the personals was just on another level here.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ill Will – “Bru, you still here?, well, be still here, we used to gun-butt niggers and let the steel go at the same time…can you still hear?!”

Respek BA defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Granted he went a little overboard on the Math personals, but other then that Scottish rapper Respek BA’s witty punchlines, potent rebuttal game and aggressive schemes are more than enough to beat (Respek easily took the 1st and 3rd rounds, call the 2nd debatable) an up-n-down and sometimes reach-leaning Serius Jones.

Verdict: Respek BA (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Respek BA – “Let me assist you, ‘cuz you must have got confused, it doesn’t make you a pimp ‘cuz your woman is a prostitute!”

Charron defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Besides the redundant Math personal’s, I was really feeling Charron’s strategy here. Go after Serius Jones’ penchant for dated bars, his rap battle pedigree, mix in some dope set-ups/personals and a few rebuttals (along with a rare mid-round rebuttal) and get an easy win. Except to Jones’ credit, when he wasn’t making veil threats at Math, for most of the match he actually stayed in there and competed, while cleansing himself of his repeated use of bars that were nice….in 2007. Still, for all 3 rounds Charron was just too much, not just for the aforementioned tools used here, but on flow and being more succinct with his bars/kaymakers too.

Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charron – “In your blog, you said I was racist, that’s how I know that you’re lame, how can I be racist?, I only took this battle so you don’t get a chain!”

E. Ness defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Quick with the searing jabs and spouting a sizeable amount of informal wordplay/metaphors. E. Ness easily takes this 2-rounder from a far (“Nessaserian”?!?) reaching, dated and inconsistent Serius Jones.

Verdict: E. Ness (W) 2-0

Favorite line: E. Ness – “You got signed after me…and got dropped before me!”

Swave Sevah defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: An entertaining battle doesn’t always add up to a competitive battle as Serius Jones versus Swave Sevah prove here. Granted, the two vets came with the (Serius: “Yunno, what’s fucked up?, sometimes I like this nigga ‘cuz his flow is tight, but I hate you ‘cuz your face is baggy!”) jokes, piercing personals, some hot bars and just for added kicks Jones gets into it with a heckler in the crowd. But when he wasn’t spitting a few shiners here and there, Jones is either reaching, dispensing dated bars or in a 3rd round that he had the potential to win, going on way too long with a gang of righteous filler. On the hand, Swave stays cohesive throughout, what with a dope performance to match as well as an ill (“Team Homi, he foolish, I’ll blow a hole in ya image till they all able to see through it!”) angles that increased his viability as the battle continued.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – [Bong! Bong Bong!] see, it’s the ego spitter versus the ego tripper, I see Red and knock you out before the Pops, it’s liek Debo hit ya!”

O-Solo defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: From the hilarious Scooby-Doo performance line to the solid wordplay displayed with the ‘crip’ bar, a way more comfortable in his skin O-Solo uses a load of wit to take rounds 1 and 3 and beat back a Serius Jones who needs to get out of his own way, with all the whining, pontificating, ego-tripping (esp. with that ‘fake Serius Jones’ sketch in the 2nd), and yunno…just rap.

Verdict: O-Solo

Favorite line: O-Solo – “You think you Lord of the Ring?!, bitch you just loitering!”

Serius Jones defeats Dizaster

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Recap: Both are longtime vets in the battle rap game. Both are renowned for the ability to go off-the-dome with their bars and drop dizzing freestyles and rebuttals. And of course, both had infamous altercations with Math Hoffa….yeah that’s right, Serius Jones and Dizaster on the KOTD stage to see who can rap better! And the result? Kind of mixed, as while neither really brought their A-game, this was still a pretty solid battle what with some hot punchlines, freestyles, witty barbs and personals galore. Getting right to it, despite a nice, but a little predictable go-round from Serius (that allowed him to give his own drawn-out version of what happened between him and Diz after the Math/Diz fight), Diz edged the first round with a hilarious and performance-heavy turn that ‘of course’ centered around Hoffa, but still hit with wild scenarios and a couple of fly (“I’ll hit you harder than he hit you before, smack him right in his hairline, United Airlines, drag a chin on the floor!”) haymakers. A battle that was filled with tension throughout as Diz seemingly got flustered and frustrated with Serius’ well-known ‘interruptions’ as well as an apparent lack of respect he had for his opponent’s skills, a witty and heavy-on-the-personal-side turn in round 2 by Diz was edged by a couple of fire rebuttals along with some solid wordplay and fiery (“I’m getting more Arab money than you, if you not a believer then let’s tally bans [Taliban’s]!”) punches/personals by a more condensed Mr. Jones. A more turned up than usual Diz speed raps his way through the 3rd, mixing in some nice schemes and punches, but once again getting edged by a more consistent, punch-heavy and mocking with the personals turn by Serius.

Verdict: Serius Jones (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “I told y’all nigga’s man, I just speak from life experience, you shouldn’t have been in here playing with your death, life is serious [Serius]!”

Serius Jones defeats Arsonal da Rebel

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Recap: Jersey legend versus Jersey legend meet up for the 1st time in Cali of all places with longtime vets Arsonal and Serius Jones going at it for 3 rambunctious rounds. Edge the first round to Arsonal, who with a more well-rounded turn that featured his usual panache of extra-disrespectful bars and aggressive heaters, beat back a lofty, but less gripping turn by Jones. Highlighted by a well-thought-out freestyle that a seemingly bored Arsonal brought onto himself by literally doing push-ups in the middle of the round, a more polished Jones also turned it up a notch with some banging punches to even things up. Clearly more intent on winning than his opponent as the battle continued, Jones stayed proper and matched his ever-cocky swag with more consistently fiery darts, whether they were righteous pontifications or well-aimed personals that more than landed to get the edge over a albeit funny at times, but not as consistently nice turn from da Rebel.

Verdict: Serius Jones (W) 2-1

Favorite line:  Serius Jones – “And you could do push-ups, but that ain’t gonna help you at all bro, what you need to do is pull-ups because you need to get in tune with your bars bro!”

Pat Stay defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: It’s funny how much criticism Pat Stay gets for being…well, yunno a funny guy. Because yunno battle rap was created for the sole purpose of mean mugs, ice grills, gun bars and 6 Million Different Ways On How I Can Kill You. That’s it, right? Nah, screw that. There’s as much room for the Pat Stay’s, Charron’s, Tech-9’s and Charlie Clips of the world in battle rap as there are anybody else. It’s called diversity and that’s a good thing. So sure, give Serius Jones the 3rd round here, thanks in part to a boxing-themed, word association round that was pretty solid as well as a personal-driven, but one-dimensional Pat struggling mightily with his flow. But no matter what Jones tells you, that’s all he got here with a punchline-savvy, more intricate and yes comical Pat easily taking the 1st round, before also taking the 2nd with another well-crafted, personal and scathing turn that beat back what was an at times, punch-heavy, but largely inconsistent turn from Jones.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “It’s ok to be vulnerable sometimes, let him be honest with you, his pockets are tight and for a rapper his age this is the only thing profitable, there, it’s out, it’s cool dog, my pockets are too, think about it, why the fuck would I go from Hollow to you!”

Jimz defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: A little on the long side time-wise, but still a mostly fiery and definitely entertaining battle between Serius Jones and Jimz on the RBE stage comes down to who ends up running out of gas at the finish line. In this case, it’s Jones, who after a braggadocios and a little preachy, but still pretty solid 1st round that rocked with a few (“‘Cuz fans be blowing, so even when you hot, they can’t feel it ‘cuz they ears conditioned!”) haymakers, managing to beat a solid and sometimes witty, but at times reaching and not always directed at his opponent turn by Jimz, simply couldn’t match his opening round theatrics, while Jimz would up his verbal ante. That would start in the 2nd round, where Mr. Stop Being Dirty would continuously flex with gritty (“Just ‘cuz he got a razor it don’t mean he out scarring on the block, we ain’t never seen you cut nobody, you the new barber in the shop!”) punchlines, some fire wordplay and heated personals/schemes. On the other hand, while the effort was there, Jones’ lack of consistency, intricacy with his punches, over-the-top sermonizing and usage of too many dated bars/filler would hurt him in both the 2nd and 3rd rounds. All the while with Jimz keeping his foot on his opponent’s neck via a boatload of mocking personals, solid schemes and hitting punches, even if his angles weren’t always on point, altogether it was still enough to edge the battle.

Verdict: Jimz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Jimz – “Jimz is dispenseful and right now I’m sitting on something special…thanks Oprah!”

Serius Jones and Teewhy [NO CONTEST]

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Recap: According to the host of this battle, both Teewhy and Serius Jones still wanted this battle put out despite the bad editing (which happens, suspiciously, mostly during Teewhy’s rounds) and lost footage, therefore a recap. Overall, neither battler particularly shined here esp. with a personal-leaning but (“Nigga, you look like Pinocchio just became a real boy!”) oft-witty Jones’ often (“Pistola”?!?) reaching with his punches and Teewhy, while more consistent with his flow, engaging in a lot of filler throughout his turns. Still, from what you see here, it’s hard not to call this for Jones as after getting edged in the first round, it looked like he easily took the 2nd, before edging the 3rd with more fiery punchlines, personals and wordplay. But it wouldn’t be fair to make a call a winner what with the aforementioned technical difficulties, missing bars from Teewhy and the allegation that a huge Jones slip-up got edited out. Of course, how you put on a battle with only one cameraman, much less no backup batteries is another story.

Verdict: No Contest

Favorite line: Teewhy – “Y’all got me really mad at him, Billy Madison, old nigga getting schooled by them young boy’s!”

DNA defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Serius Jones’ return to the URL stage is a topsy-turvy one as after laying down and pretty much giving up the first round with a load of lackluster (“Take half your head off like Casio, and after that plastic around your face, I bet your G shock”) bars/schemes versus DNA’s steady (“You are one of the worse, word to Eric you in for a long Sermon, be smart, or see hawks [Seahawks] as soon as I call Sherman”) wordplay, fiery personals and aggressive bars, it looked like Mr. GTFOH was on his way to an easy 3-0. But out of nowhere Jones made things competitive in round two, although DNA shined with both his rebuttal (“Yo Serius Jones you fucking up a bad rhyme, nigga stop talking while I rap, you seen what happened last time!”) and punchline (“Your career should’ve been took a hike, Roethlisberger”) game, Jones edged the round with some righteous (“How could call me a hypocrite or front me ‘cuz I’m living lux and I never even act religious, but I prayed over every bag I sold, yeah I’m sacrilegious!”) haymakers and punchlines that finally hit. However, with a chance to win things in the 3rd round, Jones came apart again with mostly lame bars, name flips that fell totally flat thanks in part to getting his opponent’s government name (that’s ‘Eric St John’ NOT ‘Eric Wright’) wrong and spits a Queens scheme that came off hard, but lacked the linguistics to back it up. And while DNA’s 3rd wasn’t resounding either, at the end of the day he had much cleaner, (“Now Smack called me, I was getting some head, he said I got a battle for you and it might involve you getting some bread, I jumped up, grabbed my tooth out the water, pushed the bitch off the bed…”) funnier and consistent round.

Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “I’mma tell y’all what GTFOH could stand for in your case…ok, it could be ‘Got The Face Of Hurt!'”

Head Ice defeats Serius Jones

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Recap: Decent battle between Head Ice and Serius Jones, who’s making the right move what with shifting his rap battle career to KOTD. However, Ice’s more esoterical rhymes, performance bars and aggressive (“You be tripping, but staying out of the helicopter route, cuz when we be tripping, we be bringing helicopters out”) wordplay (vs. Jones mostly standard bars and shorter rounds) gets him the first couple of rounds and the win here. A close 3rd round, but Jones (as even Ice acknowledged) spit a couple of the nicest (“See, I never got beat up, I got snuffed, but you give the game a black eye for having Ice around, see I coulda got a lump sum for Blackout, but you know when you put Ice on, the knot goes down”) bar in the round to edge it.

Verdict: Head Ice (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Head Ice – “Now you know that I’m a pet lover, the desert eagle will leave you, but the hawk [swings] will be a step-brother!”

Serius Jones defeats Math Hoffa (DQ) [Rematch]

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Recap: Listen, Jones bringing out the twerking girls and distracting Math while he rapped was extra, dumb in its execution and totally unprofessional. But that sucker punch by Math was extra, extra dumb, super lame, left yet another bad mark on battle rap and whatever suspension he got from URL afterwards was well deserved (esp. after he went on the likes of Vlad TV to make excuses and laugh about it). All that aside, here’s a video of Jones spitting the 3 rounds he intended to spit after the battle was over as well as Math dishing one round of his. Since the battle ended right after the incident, we’ll only count the bars that actually took place.

Verdict: Serius Jones (W) 1-0 by DQ

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “Well, now you better Holla at a Hitman, ‘cuz when Jones out murkin’ I’ll kill everybody in this building just so we could have a no-crowd version!”

Serius Jones defeats Charlie Clips

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Synopsis: This battle really comes down to who won the 1st round, because Clips (clearly, no debating!) won 2nd round while Jones (clearly, no debating!!!) won the 3rd. With that said, here’s why I think Serius got the ‘W’ here: his “Yeah, nine years ago I was a barber, so you know I know how to handle clips” rebuttal at the beginning of round one, while short, cancelled all of Clips barbershop jokes and in my book rebuttals earn you extra brownie points. Combine that with Clips choking at the end of round 3 (mind you, Clips is a freestyle king and in my book choking not only loses you the round, but earns you some demerits too), while you still have a classic battle, but give it to Serius by a nose.

Verdict: Serius Jones (W) 2-1

Best line: Charlie Clips – the whole house scheme was straight fire

Serius Jones defeats Jin

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Recap: The classic “Ain’t it 2 billion people in China? You can’t even go platinum over there!” line will live on in infamy and deservedly so. But Serius Jones’ ability to adroitly exquisite his set-ups, his fierce breakdown of Jin’s career inside and outside the ring, Jones’ wit and the sheer cockiness/aggression that comes with his punches (esp. the racial ones) is what really stands out here and in turn, clearly got to Jin (or as Lux would say, ‘Look at him, emotional!’). Still, Jones overwhelming his opponent for two rounds doesn’t take away from Jin returning to form with a solid, punch-heavy round 3 that along with a nice rebuttal, edged him the round and made this battle a little closer than its reputation gives it.

Verdict: Serius Jones  (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “And when he rap, why you be cheesing all day, what you be doing, E?!?”

Serius Jones defeats Moonface

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Recap: Jersey vs. Jersey sees longtime vet Moonface give Serius Jones a run for the money in this epic Fight Klub battle. Jones has some lapses throughout the battle, but is able to pull it out in overtime with wicked freestyles/bars on Moonface’s Montell Jordan lookalike homie and his opponent only buying out the bar “when he go to the gay club”.

Verdict: Serius Jones (W) OT

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “You was an ugly baby, so your mom’s used to ignore you!”

Serius Jones and Murda Mook [DEBATABLE]

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Synopsis: Instead of the Lux vs. Mook rematch, it’s these two who I’d love to see square off again. That’s how close this legendary battle is, as Serius Jones and Mook showcase not only their tremendous talent, but their serious (no pun intended) dislike for each other. Jones’ first round is classic: storytelling, personals (“Your government name is Johnathan Ancrum/He went to Fordham Prep Catholic, that’s a private school”) and righteous snaps. But Mook brings it right back with aggressive bars, hilarious anecdotes (“Smack called me [while] I was getting some head, [said] we got a victim and it might involve you getting some bread…”) and noted Harlem swag (backed up by the entire 116th block that he apparently brought with him). The fun continues in round two as the two rappers continue to spit dope lines (Mook: “He probably ain’t wanna battle, just wanted to meet me in person”) while showcasing their competitive fab at times by finishing off each other rhymes. The last round has Serius continuing to go hard while showing off his infamous free-style ability, afterwards Mook continues to air out Serius’ street cred. However, while Serius’ rebuttals, nasty bars (“If you wanna get his bitch to run a train, just get her a sandwich from Subway and a Metrocard”) and off-the dome barbs are straight sick, it’s Mook’s closing “dot” scheme that will live on in infamy. I got the 1st round as a tie, Mook edging the 2nd and Serius taking the 3rd. All told, a classic battle.

Verdict: Serius Jones and Murda Mook (TIE)

Best line: Murda Mook – “We got barrels so long, you see ’em you pledge allegiance” AND Serius Jones – “Talking about coke?! The last time this nigga’ shaved an onion he was in his kitchen on Thanksgiving making stuffing”