Over 4,000 Recaps!

Sno

Real Deal defeats Sno

by

Recap: Real Deal uses a variety of gripping personals, hitting (“Twinz said he putting out a trailer for this and you asked if it was double-wide”) jokes, nice race quips and steady rocking bars to perform a bodybag on Sno. Who with plenty of lame set-ups, a whole lot of filler and weak lines like “Where I’m from we got so many guns, if we start shooting for the starts, we might fuck around and shoot the sun out the sky” clearly showed that he only showed up to pick up his paycheck.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real deal – “Don’t judge a book by its cover, I’m Billy Hoyle with them knee highs and velcro snaps”

T Top defeats Sno

by

Recap: In a battle between a couple of UFF champions it’s T Top all day as a shaky Sno delivers some lame follow-ups to his angles, mostly falls flat with the pen game and in round one can’t even make the 2-minute time limit, Still, for all his three rounds T Top’s resonance is too much to handle, what with consistently nice wordplay, dope schemes and his usual covert affairs on life in the trap game (“I be in the Yak week, I’m like a freeloader, no good conscious, devils on each shoulder, touch me and you gonna catch it, I’m Ebola!”) remaining electrifying.

Verdict: T Top (W) 3-0

Favorite line: T Top – “See I hate you, but the fans be thinking your flow nice, so when you say you about to fuck my mother…damn, you so right, cuz we been fucked by the white man our whole life!”

Tez defeats Sno

by

Recap: When it comes to one-round, unlimited battles there’s two extremes to remember: Charlie Clips vs X-Factor where Clips showed that taking advantage of going unlimited can work in your favor if you’re consistently nice throughout your round. And then there’s Johnie Alcatraz versus Qleen Paper, where Qleen showed that even with unlimited time you can choose to pack so many punches within a short time frame and still win a battle, no matter how long your opponent went. In this battle pitting Sno against Tez, Tez goes the Clips route, taking up more then half the battle and delivering a roundhouse of fierce personals, nice punchlines, nice flips, (“I don’t know what I’m messing with, I mean he talk white, he rep Latino, fuck is this nigga, Cauexican?”) jokes and aggressive bars. In the meantime while Sno had a few (the “….back to token, ain’t that changing the game?” line was mean) moments, besides the usual aggressiveness from the outset the bar game just wasn’t there, much less the typical schemes, delivery, personals and execution that you’re used to seeing from Mr. LaRocksta, all told making for a standout win for Tez to add to his resume.

Verdict: Tez (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tez – ” [Short pause] I ain’t forget my bars, I’m next to Sno [snow] I can’t imagine a better time then now to chill my nigga”

T Money Bagz defeats Sno

by

Recap: Sno’s oft-lackluster name flips, repeated gun bars and racial (‘When that cig split, it’ll get you and your nig lit [niglet]”) undertones are no match for the forever slept-on T Money Bagz’s substantial punchline game, confident delivery and witty (“Treat him like JC battle, y’all gonna find half of him missing”) personals in this one-rounder from Bar Wars.

Verdict: T Money Bagz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T Money Bagz – “I should spark the ratchet and start shooting Snoman like Django went to target practice!”

Ill Will defeats Sno

by


Synopsis: Ill Will will never make an easier $10K in his life. I mean, what a time for Sno (who I was never really that impressed with from jump) to put in his worst performance: filler upon filler, tired “I fucked ya bitch” bars, inconsistent lines and basement bars. All the while the black guy from Yak-town was just put on another dope show with black history bars, biting personals and that real shit (“You from da Yac….I Am That!!!!”) that makes ya mouth water. As much as Swizz Beats (or anyone for that matter) should never be allowed to judge a battle by himself ever, ever again….Will’s beast mode vs. Sno not showing up made it an easy decision.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0

Best line: Ill Will – “But I can make a nasty scene, cum on your sister’s face and tell her it’s acne cream”

Sno defeats KG the Poet

by

Recap: Having already beaten Sno and with a chance to face Ill Will for $10K on the line, KG the Poet couldn’t have picked a worse time to frequently (tho he had more haymakers) stumble as he does here during rounds 1 and 3 of this UFF semifinal matchup. That, combined with Sno’s consistent aggression, wild storytelling (“You already know how a Rocksta does, I ain’t gotta pop at cha to make ya popular, if ya cross me you’ll bent out of shape like a swastika”) bars, wordplay and wicked schemes does him in, in what was otherwise a pretty close battle..

Verdict: Sno (W) 2-1

Favorite line: KG the Poet – “This battle’s more lopsided than a bad boob job”

Sno defeats Danny Myers

by

Synopsis: Sno’s repeated bars on how he’ll do your girl or your mama or your sister or whoever are definitely wearing thin, but he shines with enough performance, gun bars (that Johnny Cage scheme in Rd. 1 was nice!) and schemes that make you get past the fact that most of his bars are pretty average. And while Danny Myers had a lot more variety to his bars, too much filler and too many slip ups cost him any chance of winning.

Verdict: Sno (W) 2-1

Best line: Sno – “Her pussy don’t even get that wet, but I’ll knock down her dry wall like I’m working construction”

Sno defeats HA Double

by

Recap: Sno aka Andy La Rocksta aka SnoMan aka the “Hip-Hop Riley Cooper” combines aggressive bars, heavy wordplay, nice name flips and a few stumbles by HA Double to take this UFF (Ultimate Freestyle Friday) tournament matchup.

Verdict: Sno (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Sno – “You goin’ see two Lee’s [Li’s] start kickin like a dual match between Bruce and Jet”

KG The Poet defeats Sno

by

Synopsis: KG The Poet might want to think about drinking some water while he spits his bars because his adrenaline is so high, it might be causing his fumbles. That said, if it wasn’t for the 2nd round, where Sno had just enough to make it debatable (along with a couple of light slip-ups by KG), this would’ve been a body–that’s just how dominate KG was in rounds 1 and 3.

Verdict: KG The Poet (W) 2-1

Favorite line: KG The Poet – “That Clint Eastwood .44 blow holes in you like an open gash, it’s like a carat, so if you raising eyes, I’ll put that long nose to his face like a snowman’s supposed to have”

Ty Law defeats Sno

by

Synopsis: While it might be politically correct to say Sno got this, I’m gonna go the other way and say that Ty Law clearly got the win here. Indeed, Sno’s 1st round (even with the fumble) was a classic, just on the “Marshall Law” scheme alone. But like many battle rappers who open with over-the-top 1st rounds: soon it becomes way too hard to stay on that top shelf for all 3 rounds. That fact alone was fortunate for Ty Law, who just by being himself and staying consistent throughout all 3 rounds, delivering dope bar after bar (“And yeah the best feature on ya’ baby mother is her mouth, her tongue is out I’m nuttin’ on the couch, right when Andy was at work, it’s like  she put Andy in reverse, that’s whY D-N-A coming out her mouth”) was able to take the latter 2 rounds and edge out the win.

Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1

Best line: Ty Law – “You crackers safe in the house like professional thief’s”

Sno defeats Gambitt

by

Recap: Easy win for Sno who literally goes ham with an assortment of gun bars, sexual innuendo lines and crisp punchlines to outcook Gambitt.

Verdict: Sno (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Sno – “I’m sonning your monkey ass, like the man in the yellow hat!”

JC defeats Sno

by

Synopsis: Considering how much work these two emcees have put in this game, this battle should’ve definitely been 3 rounds instead of one. Still, a dope match nonetheless with SnoMan spazzing on JC with so much rapid-fire bars, personals and wordplay (“JC stand for Joe Camel the way this square got boxed”) that you could forgive him for stealing that “newlyweds” bar from B. Magic. And yet, JC’s round is nothing but a barfest as lines like: “I’m killing Sno, but what’s new?, you been calling me out, I’m just not interested nerd, that’s the battle rap political term for ‘fuck you'” gets topped by “I feel like taking a whole person, blow perfect holes in ’em, leave that hoe shirtless, let the 9 bang ’em, have his spirit gone, but the mind stationed and have y’all soul searching”. JC at his best? All told it’s an artful dismantling.

Verdict: JC (W) 1-0

Favorite line: JC – “So which is Sno? kickin’ the door, gripping the four, squeeze a clip? or wait till you gone, break in ya home and leave with some shit?”