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Tech-9

Geechi Gotti defeats Tech 9

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Recap: Much anticipated West-coast, Smack/URL battle between Tech 9 and Geechi Gotti sees the Philly vet give a pretty solid performance what with a boatload of hometown swag that was often matched by some fiery punchlines, witty personals/barbs and even a bunch of real street shit in an earnest effort to show that his opponent isn’t the only one who can talk that life. Still, for all of Tech’s vigor and rap eloquence, one too many pedestrian bars along with way too nuch filler would hurt him in the long run. And for a Geechi Gotti, staying on point throughout his 3 rounds with his renowned gangster tales as well as displaying oft-times fiending gun line acumen and a sterling punchline game, a 30 is made even more explicit when the adversary has so many chinks in their armor.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “I heard Tech a legend, I say legend for what?, ‘cuz he beat Miles? [laughs]…nigga, what that mean to a nigga that beat trials!”

Tech-9 defeats Jerry Wess

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Recap: Having more haymakers doesn’t always win battles and doing too much can make you lose battles. Case in point here with Jerry Wess versus a returning-to-the-Smack-stage Tech-9 in what overall was a pretty entertaining and close battle that was pretty much decided in the 3rd. 1st round went to Tech, who overcame a solid and (“…all he gonna see is the Tommy with the dagger, look like I’m calling for the Dragonzord!”) hot at times, but also a little convoluted/porous turn by Wess, with a standing tutorial on proper battle rap ethos that was assisted by witty (“You should’ve been a gardener, your flowers would’ve been the best one’s out!”) barbs, stinging performance bars and stretched-out punches that made their mark. 2nd round saw a performance-heavy Jerry Wess get more linear with his flow, thus sparking an at times boastful, but mostly spitfire barrage of (“Mr. Bean with gonorrhea…I’m dumb fire!”; “They mad I got to the URL hella fast…I got FIOS nigga!”) punches that altogether managed to edge Tech-9’s solid, but less-potent turn. An entertaining 3rd round from both battlers sees Wess get busy with a personal-heavy turn that was both (“He battled O-Solo and guess who loss that one?…Jersey!”) witty and set-up crazy. However, while Jerry’s round was more finessed to tailor his opponent’s past (albeit with a crowd-surfing move that would come back and bite him), a slightly more versatile, rebuttal/freestyle-dropping, (“Face shot, now he sound like Big T sleeping!”) braggadocio and still performance-drenched Tech-9 edges the round by a nose to get the win.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tech-9 – “Y’all thought I was dead, but your boy is back, back in the building, I was never dead, y’all should’ve checked my coffin, it had scratches on the ceiling!”

Tech 9 defeats Impact

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Recap: An easy 3-0 for Tech 9 who for the most part stayed consistent with wicked punchlines, lofty personals and rambunctious (“Gangsta?!? You don’t even look like you drink and drive!”) comedy relief. The UK’s Impact, who did dish some (“You’re the only URL battler without ‘lyrical’ in his introduction”) shiners here and there, may want to lessen his elongated set-ups and cut down on the corny /jokes/filler next time he takes on a legend making a comeback.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Tech-9 – “I’m a legend, you should take a picture with me!”

Tech 9 defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Philly battle rappers been taking a lot of L’s in the ring lately so it’s good to see Tech-9 back in there upholding that gritty Brotherly love tradition. Here against Shotgun Suge, Tech spouts a barrage of no-nonsense bars and drops in a couple of head-ringing (“My block, crackheads and d-boys, Your block? Cisco’s and Leroy’s!”) haymakers to verify his elder statesmanship. His elongated round does contain some filler, but after a crazy (“Say cheese, the clip on the chopper look like a smiley face!”) start to his round, Suge trailed off too dramatically for any real chance at a win.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tech-9 -“I do shit deliberately, on purpose, money hungry, for that lunch break, these twin 4’s be smoking together, they like co-workers”

Bill Collector defeats Tech-9

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Synopsis: Tech-9 (who just looks like he doesn’t have the same hunger for battle rap as he used to) needs to come up with a better ending to his rounds than calling opponents “clown-ass dickheads”–for example, he could just yell “Time!” Besides that Bill Collector got this, putting on a better performance, mixed in with funny impressions, some nice bars/crowd pleasers (“….Bill Collector who you stabbed? Carlton Banks!”) and probably becoming the first battle rapper to spit his bars while sitting down. Now that’s historic.

Verdict: Bill Collector (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bill Collector – “Baby mom the bomb, nominate her for best knees”

Tech-9 defeats DNA

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Synopsis: Amazing how many commenter’s side with DNA on this one, but I’m guessing that’s due to DNA having the home court advantage and thus getting the more favorable crowd reactions. However, bar for bar I just think Tech had more punches overall while giving a crisp performance along with real life bars: “You know how awkward it feel picking your daughter up from daycare strapped, when your shirt raise up by accident and your daughter say ‘what’s that?'” that you felt through the screen. And though it seemed like Tech lost a bit of energy towards the end of each rough, this definitely wasn’t DNA at his best (tho both bodybag scheme and the tooth story in round 3 were hilarious as hell), so overall I gave Tech the edge.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-1

Best line: DNA – “If everyone you body bagged was already in a body bag then who did you really body bag?”

Tech-9 defeats Midwest Miles

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Synopsis: The maturity of a one-time “champion” is on total display here as Tech-9 not only puts on a great performance, but brings along bars, stories, personals, crowd control, aggression and schemes that meet the high standards of his show (clearly a 180 from Tec’s Lion’s Den days, where he too often tried to be funny instead of delivering consistent and coherent bars along with punchlines). The only question here is whether or not this is Tech at his peak because the former, self-proclaimed “URL champion” hasn’t been the same since.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 3-0

Best line: Tech’s whole Round 1 is just classic material. but that “too many weapons, too many maybachs, all this talk about you swerving the jag, you a taxi driver the only thing you serving is cabs, you gotta beat your co-workers to the spot” line was fire.

Tech-9 defeats Rich Dolarz

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Recap: Rich Dolarz came nice here, esp. in the 3rd round, delivering his usual aggressive bars, hard (“So you better stop all that brave shit, ‘cuz I’ll show you how sharp a nigga’s blades get, your niggas blood, my homies represent the same shit and they’ll still put a .9 to five, no day shift”) punches, some keen (“Like Jamie Foxx, I don’t stay in a hotel unless its Fancy in it”) wordplay/schemes and even a joke or two. But against a Tech-9 who’d just about reached his peak (that’d come later in the Midwest Miles match) here, Rich really didn’t stand much of a chance. From the stellar jokes to wicked setups, personals galore on Rich’s Popoff squad, punchlines, epic performance (“I do drive-bys, no face, all you see is the arm”) bars and crowd pleasers, hell even a turkey breast sandwich to keep you paying attention, it was all there, 3 rounds of enjoyment that more than proved that it’s not always bars over jokes.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tech-9 – “I’m old school like peanut butter on a mouse trap”

Tech-9 defeats X-Factor

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Recap: Tech-9 puts on one of his better shows entertaining the crowd with consistently hilarious (“Plus you got your style from me stepson so pay respect to your dad, and stop sucking your teeth when I slap your mom on the ass”) bars and adept storytelling, while breaking down X-Factor’s steeze and street acumen. While X-Factor made it competitive at times, his choke in round 1, overall inconsistency and stumble in round 3 made this an easy win for the kid from Philly.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tech-9 – “All my dimes live and they all wanna fuck me, I tell them hoes close they eyes and pick a number to fuck me”

Tech-9 defeats Head Ice

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Recap: “No subliminal shots”. Is there any battle rapper out there that means what he say and says what he means more than Head Ice? I don’t think so. Still, for all his intimidating gangsta (“Shit I check a crew like Nikes I catch your crew wilding, stomp ’em with ACG’s I give ’em New Balance”) talk and slick delivery, Ice’s lack of angles and wordplay can sometimes be a disadvantage. Such is the case here as while bars over jokes may be the pedigree for so-called “real” battle rappers, Tech-9’s overall medley of bars, jokes, perfromance and personals scored him a close win here.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tech-9 – “Your baby mom got a mean back, when I fuck her she scream back ‘Go deeper Daddy’, me and my niggas call her ‘Freak Nasty’, the bitch a freak and bitch nasty, little dirty in the butt ashy, i make her shower first”

Arsonal da Rebel defeats Tech-9

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Recap: “Razor blades, more plates! Razor blades, more plates!” Always entertaining that Tech-9. But in a battle that was a lot closer than a lot of people give it credit for, Arsonal’s ability to spit lines just as (“Fake no-name ass nigga! Type to get a nose-ring ass nigga!’) comical as Tech’s, along with better deliveries, personals and performance (“She cherish my semen, she wanted to bottle my shit, I told her leave it on ya pillow bitch, you’ll acknowledge my shit!”) bars, got him this one.

Verdict: Arsonal da Rebel (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Arsonal – “He probably fuck 4 bitches in his life…and they all fat!”

Goodz defeats Tech-9

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Synopsis: Damn, Tec-9 put on a great show, fully entertaining as hell with a wicked performance to match.. But Goodz put on a pretty dope show too (with plenty of swag, as usual) and going in tied, Goodz clearly out-barred Tec in round 3 for the win.

Verdict: Goodz (W) 2-1

Best line: Tech-9 – “I go shopping I see it I like it nigga, the receipts pop up after I swipe it nigga, when you swipe it they tell you to re-enter your code, you come up with excuses say they got your — on hold”

Tech 9 defeats Young D

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Recap: Note this battle for two reasons: an early Tech-9 steady (“Never invited, but always wanna go ass nigga!”) roasting some kid from Lancaster, PA (a spot noted for being predominantly Amish) and the bravado of Young D’s hypeman–a young white dude dressed in a sailor uniform standing in the midst of some gully-looking spectators with nary a worry except for supporting his boy. And tho it seems that they failed to drop the 3rd round of this battle, with Tech-9 killing his clearly overmatched opponent’s mixtape verses in the first couple of rounds, there’s really no need to see the rest.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-0*

Favorite line: Tech-9 – “Don’t be a wiseguy, don’t make me have to splatter you…and I got your mom’s duct taped for collateral!”

* – 3rd round is not available on Youtube.