Synopsis: Thesaurus’ trite and predictable style proves no match for Bigg K’s raucous and eccentric banter (hey, K’s confidence has grown to the point where he’s even dropping rebuttals). And while one can certainly appreciate Thesaurus’ perennial love for battle rap, he seriously needs to update his rap flow (did he really say ‘He gonna coach the Hit Squad if we catch K solo’ in round 1???….yes, he did) if he’s gonna stand a chance against these hungry yung’un’s in 2014.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Best line: Bigg K – “I will bag Thesaurus like Barnes and Nobles”
Syahboy defeats Neeq
Synopsis: Ummm….no contest here. As Syahboy brings that cocky, Rich Dollaz-type heat (when Richie actually showed up to battles) and takes Neeq out to pasture with bars, jokes (“I see ya’ bitch I’m straight dot mobb, I’m ass grabbin'”), schemes and a superb performance. Not a body tho, what with Neeq (between a whole lotta filler) actually having some lines (“Contract killer, I put money on every hit like Pete Rose, but this an old-school ass-whupping like when ya’ mama caught you playing in your street clothes”) and Syahboy clearly stumbling towards the end of his round, but still an easy win nonetheless.
Verdict: Syahboy (W) 1-0
Best line: Syahboy – ” I don’t like talking, I should’ve killed this nigga at the chit-chat club”
Lotta Zay defeats Luciano Crakk
Recap: Lotta Zay matches his swag with 3 consistently dope rounds filled with nice schemes (the Camp Lo couplets worked), crisp punchlines and lively wordplay to score an easy victory over an earnest, but unfocused Luciano Crakk.
Verdict: Lotta Zay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Lotta Zay – “You think you designed for the crime life, really? you in my hindsight, hear me, this is how we equal out, me putting a two to this emcee like it’s Einstein theory”
Holmzie da God defeats Johnny Mel
Recap: While freestyling may be a lost art, in this day and age of battle rap being 99% dependent on written’s, unless you’re on the level of an Eyedea (RIP), there’s really no sense in going into a battle using mostly quasi-lame freestyles, as Johnny Mel does here, unless you’re just showing off or you’re really not that serious about a battle rap career. One gets the feeling that both happened here, enabling Holmzie da God, dispensing swift and heated punches, ill gun bars along with some nice schemes, to score an easy 3-0.
Verdict: Holmzie da God (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Holmzie – “Why the fuck y’all put this church boy in front of a sinner and why the fuck do white people where shorts in the winter?!”
Chef Trez defeats Hitz
Recap: T-Top is your host, the 3rd round seems to be missing and Hitz bullies his way into going first, but none of that matters as Chef Trez’s jaunty performance bars and feening wordplay are more than enough to take the two rounds seen here.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez -“You a bully right, well try something, I’m that quiet kid in Science, but I bet you ain’t know I got of chemistry and gripping [grip in] iron!”
Sno defeats Danny Myers
Synopsis: Sno’s repeated bars on how he’ll do your girl or your mama or your sister or whoever are definitely wearing thin, but he shines with enough performance, gun bars (that Johnny Cage scheme in Rd. 1 was nice!) and schemes that make you get past the fact that most of his bars are pretty average. And while Danny Myers had a lot more variety to his bars, too much filler and too many slip ups cost him any chance of winning.
Verdict: Sno (W) 2-1
Best line: Sno – “Her pussy don’t even get that wet, but I’ll knock down her dry wall like I’m working construction”
prez mafia defeats Took
Recap: Took had some nice (“Obama college picture, Prez getting smoked”) bars, but a couple of stumbles and some nonsensical lines cost him bad against a prez mafia who was cooking heat throughout.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 2-1
Favorite line: prez mafia – “Nigga straight away, you’ll see a A R down a one-way and I don’t expect you to get it bitch, that’s like mail on a Sunday”
Big Kannon defeats Big T
Recap: Doing their own version Hitman Holla vs. Aye Verb, Chi-town’s finest, Big Kannon and Big T, get together for a matchup that probably happened too soon considering the amount of hype that could’ve been built up for this one if given more time and a more proper stage. Still too, as seen on Total Slaughter and a couple of other recent battles, Big T’s been going through a bit of a slump lately and from the stunning choke he pulls here in round 1, it wouldn’t be unbecoming to say that T may need to think about taking some time off to get his shit together. Not to take anything away from Big Kannon tho, who while not at his best either, still put on a good show here, spazzing on Big T’s relevance in the game, making fun of his more noted gun bars, rebutting the choke and breaking down T’s supposed lack of effort in trying to get other local rappers on. Towards the end Big T tried to make a comeback, but mostly generic bars along with a lack of energy just showed you that the focus just wasn’t there.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “…..you’ll see a magazine, but read an obituary, and you don’t think I’m digging your grave? Wait…let it simmer terry [cemetary]”)
AR-16 defeats Red Dott
Synopsis: AR-16’s ability to win battles with mostly freestyles either makes him an overall dope emcee, a guy doesn’t know how to prepare or a guy with enough confidence in his skills that it doesn’t matter who he faces or a guy who just doesn’t take battle rap seriously. Or perhaps it’s all of the above. Whatever the case, with ample jokes at the ready he’s still a crowd pleaser and as proven here, while he may never get top tier battles with this kind of m.o., somehow the dubs keep coming.
Verdict: AR-16 (W) 1-0
Best line: AR-16 – “As a matter of fact, you gay, I’mma kill him (instead) cuz’ that’s your boo nigga'”
prez mafia defeats Whosane
Recap: Another nice battle from TrapHouse with Whosane and prez mafia going toe-to-toe throughout in a highly intense and spirited battle. Whosane stayed (“You characters get met with the bird, then get the retweet”) hot through the first couple of rounds (I had it tied after 2), but faltered a little bit in the last round thus giving prez, who stayed more consistent and came with more angles, the edge at the finish line.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 2-1
Favorite line: prez mafia – “Your ass couldn’t beat Sco, J. Murda or Barzz, that’s bad luck and you got schooled, this is a Parent Teachers conference ass-whopping!”
Roc Raw defeats Jakkboy Maine
Recap: Assisted by a Jakkboy Maine choke in the 2nd round (which the unorthodox punches from Jakk was ahead on till he forgot his words), but mostly scoring points via a slew of slinging punchlines, witty barbs and hitting schemes/freestyles, Roc Raw puts up a 30 in this Supreme Training Camp battle.
Verdict: Roc Raw (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Roc Raw – “If you sitcom [sit calm] and the Price is Right I’ll Drew [makes motion with hands as if pulling weapon out] Carey nigger’s!”
Born defeats Lotta Zay
Recap: Not a battle that’s easy on the ears due to the sound quality, but one thing’s for sure: Lotta Zay wasn’t lying about Nuborn once upon a time hosting this mess. Moving on, despite a hot 3rd from Zay, Born’s first two rounds, a deluge of personals, crisp punchlines and hard-hitting bars, was just too much to overcome.
Verdict: Born (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Born – “…I know it might shock ya, the head quite proper, she like Don King she be ripping off these nice boxers”
DNA defeats Arcane
Recap: Both DNA and Arcane have been around long enough that you’d think this battle would be better, however thanks to Arcane’s mostly unimaginative lines/set-ups and DNA’s lack of focus, the names here failed to meet the standard set on the billing. Still, DNA wins with better punches and personals (the “When you battling Arcane you never really know who you going up against” angle worked) in front of a Canadian crowd that had a hard rooting for their own guy because he came so lame.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Since recently it was Martin Luther King day I had a dream…that you wrote yoru own bars”
Cityy Towers defeats Uno Lavos
Recap: To think how good Uno Lavos would be if he could come more focused and spit hot bars and jokes with equal ease. Still a good matchup till the 3rd, as Cityy Towers broke down Uno’s style and used genial (“The gift of gab real [Gabriel] union with your bitch in the pool, that dee wade [D. Wade]”) wordplay to take the first, while Uno actually spit some hard (“People thought because I was battling City I was gonna be off but I ain’t, because my niggas is known for clicking and popping like Carlton Banks”) bars to edge the 2nd. Split after two, Cityy just upped the ante and spazzed with wicked personals, mean performance (“My shit ain’t over heads, it’s under chin!”) bars and line by line heat all throughout, leaving Uno to stumble through his 3rd round and eventually wave the white flag.
Verdict: Cityy Towers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Uno Lavos – “This gun will put niggas to sleep, that’s why I tuck it in!”
Mike P defeats Pro-Caine
Recap: Mike P finesses with panache (“But you a G tho, riigghhttt? and you got the muscle to fight…bitch it looks like the only thing you fucking up is your life!”) bars/schemes for 3 rounds, to the point of even spouting a nice Loaded Lux impression at the end. Despite a slip-up along with a comeuppance in wordplay by opponent Pro-Caine in the 3rd round costing Mike an easy 3-0, having distanced himself greatly in the first couple of rounds, the decision here was made early.
Verdict: Mike P (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mike P -“I snapback to be on the Card again [Cardigan] despite doubts from crews, a tie?, never that, button up ‘cuz nuthin bout you suits!”
Hitman Holla defeats Charlie Clips
Recap: Can’t front, after a pretty basic 1st round that went up against a very (“‘Cuz the last nigger you beat was O-Red, and it was a O-Red that was way off…ok, so the Sixers beat the Pelicans, cool, neither one of y’all making the playoffs!”) witty, basketball-bar heavy, performance rich and scheme-friendly turn by Charlie Clips, it wasn’t looking good at all for Hitman Holla going into the later rounds. But then suddenly Holla flipped the script, starting out with a fiery (“You know what my brother Showout do, keep it up and you gonna have to remove DNA from the ground for real!”) rebuttal in the early part of his 2nd round, that along with some hard personals/punches combined with an aggressive performance edged things for the St. Louis rapper and made it a tie heading into the 3rd. The deciding round was more of Holla upping his verbal game with yet another nice rebuttal, some fly personals, braggadocio shiners and stifling gun talk, all enough to beat back what was a solid, scheme slick and at times funny, but a bit of a lazy turn by Clips, who needed to freestyle to complete his round.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “10,000?!, a nigger owe me $10, I need it, I’m on his doorstep, I’m knocking on his door with a .357 like it ain’t 4 yet!”
Big Kannon defeats Dizaster
Recap: On the spot freestyle battle between Dizaster and Big Kannon is edged by the mayhem-dishing and boastful Kannon, who while seemingly more enthused than his opponent to participate and accused by Diz of spitting some written’s, still registers enough feelgood raps to edge the latter 3 rounds after getting edged by a more personal and potent Diz in the 1st.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 3-1
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “I can kill him freestyle or Acapella and put that shit in his mouth…that’s Akinyele!”
Dougy defeats Haze
Recap: Some nice (“That twin chrome will lift up souls while ya feet down!”) lines here and there from Haze, but too many pedestrian/predictable bars against Dougy’s much more righteous and steady (“These hands, they do the best punching, soon as he swing, I’m a weave, then come back with my strong hand…like I left something!”) heat, made this one a no-brainer.
Verdict: Dougy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dougy – “I’m a fucking animal, you can’t see the Bambi nigga, you’ll get your shit snatched, my gun don’t even kick back…that’s shit SCARED!!! of me, nigga!”
Brooklyn Carter defeats Xcel
Recap: Whew! Brooklyn Carter spazzing from jump with haymaker after haymaker combined with a slow start by Xcel (his 3rd was definitely where he hit the most) gives BC an easy dub.
Verdict: Brooklyn Carter (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “I’ll pop X with more than one pill, it ain’t a molly, I left him lying without a poly, just his head, leg, arms…but I took the body”
KG The Poet defeats Jay Rell
Recap: I agree with the judges decision: Rell edged the first round, KG edged the second and while the 3rd was close, light stumbles by Rell along with a stellar rebuttal from KG, gave it to the Poet in the end.
Verdict: KG the Poet (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jay Rell -“KG ain’t making it out the first round, this the ’95 draft again”
Chess defeats K.O.
Recap: In this vets vs. rooks battle from WeGoHard, Chess and K.O. unload what’s left of their emtire battle rap notebook’s for what turns to be a solid, but a bit of an underwhelming battle. Don’t get it twisted, an aggressive K.O. dished some (esp. in the 1st round) quite a few (“It’s gonna remind Chess of Jumanji, the way those pieces unravel!”; “I’ll umbrella open his top like a frank stand!”) haymakers throughout, all the while using steely gun lines and some nice flips to edge round one. But for K.O., as his penchant for landing roundhouse punches on his opponent lessened, as the match went on, his rampant usage of filler increased that wasn’t helped by elongated rounds that we’re ironically used to seeing from Chess. All that combined gave an opening to the rapid, punch steady Chess, who even while not at his best when it came to spitfire bars and with his standard pedigree of going way over time limits, still spouted enough verbal (“What’s in store?, is you getting [makes like throwing a punch at K.O.] caught on cam…surveillance tape!”) hijinks, performance-rich heaters and consistency to his raps to edge the latter two rounds and pull out a close win.
Verdict: Chess (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chess – “I named this [makes left hand like gun] monkey one, this [makes right hand like gun] monkey two, the right shoot, the left shoot, monkey see, monkey do!”
Show Off defeats Dose
Synopsis: Let’s face it: word is Dose only got his first match with Math Hoffa all those years ago as a last-second replacement. And he only got his rematch with Math because of the infamous punch that got loaded up on that SMACK DVD. In other words, if not for Math would Dose have ever made the URL stage to begin with? Yunno, on skills alone? As this battle shows, probably not.
Verdict: Show Off (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Show Off – “Your bitch call me Quasimodo, that’s my lingo, I’m only known for hump”
Cali Smoov defeats Rum Nitty
Recap: Using infinite wordplay and backing up his mettle with a host of nice 4-bar set-ups and spice-minted, triple entendre’s…against a dry spot heavy Rum Nitty on his B-game, Cali Smoov (“I don’t write battle rap bars, I write poetry”) proves to not only be a competent battle rapper, but a guy you might not to face in a game of Scrabble either.
Verdict: Cali Smoov (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Cali Smoov – “Man, I been in L.A. County, Twin Towers, fighting a pen charge, I was riding alone, been locked in dorms with more Rolling 60s than retirement homes!”
Real Deal defeats Rosenberg Raw
Recap: Of course Real Deal, performing in front of his hometown crowd, had the folks gassed for his bars, but even if this battle were held on neutral turf, Real Deal’s punchlines (“When it comes to hands, you been washed more than a germaphobe”), personals, aggressive bars and jokes would’ve beat anything Rosenberg Raw had spit.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “You probably the last one in your crew to slide out and slap like the 5th Temptation”
Yung Ill defeats Fresco
Recap: Close battle. This despite Fresco losing to his water bottle and some ill Young Ill bars in round one. With Fresco easily winning the 3rd, it comes down to round two, which saw Fresco start slow, but pick it up with a wicked Paul Walker line and some Jew jokes–overall an alright round that could’ve been better if it wasn’t drenched in filler. Yung Ill’s 2nd round wasn’t that great either, but with bars that were more direct (“I’m still that young black boy the public school systems tried to neglect, you that college kid that corporate America didn’t accept”), authentic (“You dressing like a Forever21 model”) and potent, Ill just did enough to win.
Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Fresco – “Now his wifey suck me off while I grab the controller, I ain’t asking for no head I just casually told her, then I hit it from the back while I’m grabbing her shoulders, dropped my kids off then leave thanks for having me over”
40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats Daylyt
Recap: Say what you will about Daylyt, but when he’s in the building you’re almost always guaranteed to get your money’s worth. And while I’m sure those in the crowd of this QOTR battle versus 40 B.A.R.R.S. weren’t expecting the Watts, CA, rapper to pull his dick out onstage during the battle, compared to attempting to shit on stage as Quill would do at another bout…well, they should be thankful ‘Lyt only went there. That said, while the headline generating ‘Lyt out-witted, served up a handful of crazy haymakers and punched his opponent’s lights out in round 1, the rest of this matchup was pretty much all 40. Boston’s finest getting ‘malicious’ with the wordplay throughout the latter rounds, while getting extra personal and testing ‘Lyt’s manhood when she wasn’t spouting fiery mayhem, aggressive heat, fierce name flips and witty/hard-hitting schemes to get the win over a topsy-turvy ‘Lyt who couldn’t keep up with 40’s bar efficiency in round 2, before mostly going indirect with the lines and clearly transferring to antics mode in round 3.
Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “When you want them real bars in a battle, they playing mine, his footage like tomorrow, when it come to Daylight, we saving time!”
Th3 Saga defeats Notic da Boss
Recap: In this one-rounder from Battle Rap Arena, Th3 Saga’s thematic Christian bars spreads its message in the way of soaring wordplay, lofty punches and spirited (“That Samuel from Pulp Fiction is what I will do…that only means you’ll get a verse from God before I kill you!”) bully bars to easily defeat a non-too-solid Notic da Boss.
Verdict: Th3 Saga (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Th3 Saga – “Yo, I’m blacking, off top like a yamaka Boss, you’ll get flamed with 7 lines like it’s Hanukkah Boss!”
M. Ciddy defeats Danja Zone
Synopsis: M. Ciddy makes use of frequent TV habits (“Charm School”), name flips, personals (“I bet you hear the floor squeak when ya’ mam fuck”) and punchlines along with steady aggression to make hay of Danja Zone.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “You use schemes for a crutch and you stretch crazy, and draw everything out, you Tex Avery”
Danny Myers defeats Ah Di Boom
Synopsis: A clearly more motivated Danny Myers spazzes on a underwhelming Ah Di Boom to get an easy victory in this BET/UFF tournament elimination battle.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “You a broke nigga with an explanation, that’s a poor excuse”
Chilla Jones defeats Blackheart Adonis
Synopsis: Blackheart Adonis not only has bars (Who could fuck with Adonis? These prozac like they had depression, so I’ll fuck up a pair of mid schemes like a bad investment”), punchlines and plenty of jokes (“You’ll be like a street performer, give him bucks and claps in public”), but judging from his round 2 here his favorite TV show is clearly “Martin”. That said, even with a nice artillery, as seen here it’s not enough against a wordplay genius and scheme killer like Chilla Jones. From reversing the college scheme in round 3 to the over-the-top name flips to the official haymakers (“Y’all thinking this bitch fly? He’ll disappear ‘cos a milli will air Heart (Amelia Earheart)”), while Blackheart Adonis did a good job of keeping it close throughout, in the end it wasn’t enough to keep up with Mr. Jones.
P.S. To Blackheart Adonis, while it’s ok to be cocky and confident in your bars, disrespecting your opponent and speaking throughout his rounds while making light of his bars has no place in battle rap.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1
Best line: Blackheart Adonis – “We seen no proof in your work, so how is your Tommy getting fired?”
T Top defeats Automatic Ray
Recap: Automatic Ray scores with some jokes and nice (“Rap or otherwise, we get suckers cut, we engineers, cuz’ we punch niggers for fucking up!”) punchlines, but an inconsistent delivery/performance and a lame Loaded Lux impression does him in against T Top, who on top of the requisite trap talk, mixes it up a bit with a variety of dope wordplay. potent schemes and witty (“…her breathe smell like…aight I ain’t gonna start no shit, but she could say the holiest words and still be talking shit!”) jokes to score a 3-0.
Verdict: T Top (W) 3-0
Favorite line: T Top – “I promise you gonna die, no might, it’s like Napolean, Len Bias style, you ending before the show begin”
Moneyy defeats Gwitty
Recap: Another intense and entertaining battle from the good folks at WeGoHard. Gwitty’s first round was epic with hard (“I grab the ratchet, like breaking up a fight with two bitches”) bars and hitting (“Your bitch she not popping, I took her sis [assist] to play with Jazz like John Stockton”) personals, while Moneyy countered with heavy wordplay and performance (“That gun from Korea it speak Chinese, it’s my money machine, it go cha…ching…POW!!!”) bars–edge to Gwitty tho for more consistency. Second round is where Moneyy took over as Gwitty bars weren’t always matching his intensity and he seemed to lose steam as the round went on. Then too, Moneyy stepped it up with enough “easy” schemes to win the round and tie it up after 2. 3rd round saw Gwitty spit from witty (“This pump, a long jump, knock your body across country”) punchlines and talk that real shit for those in the crowd that can rock with that, but overall it wasn’t nearly enough to beat Moneyy’s steady (“That fifth caaaaaammmmmmmeeeeee with a kick, like when Mike got back with The Jacksons”) haymakers and real bar execution.
Verdict: Moneyy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Moneyy – “Fuck a big gun, this shit so little you’ll think it’s disposable”
prez mafia defeats Ty Law
Recap: I was in total agreement with the Lox on this one. Had Law easily taking the 1st round while prez maf edged the 2nd. Last round was close (Prez’s “run up on you with a switchblade….and then switch blades!” line was mean!), yet Law was on the verge of taking it till his slip-up cost him near the end.
Verdict: pref mafia (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ty Law – “Funny, he studied Law, now he dying in da tourney [an attorney]”
T Top defeats Cephdeezy
Recap: Easy win here for T Top as his eccentric wordplay, potent gun bars and urban life (“My mom’s put coke in my pamper, I was born hustling”) tales are too much for Cephdeezy’s mostly rampant filler and predictable angles.
Verdict: T Top (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T Top – “They dropped you in the ring to die, boy you Owen Hart”
Fettuccine20 defeats Kevin Vann
Recap: While Kevin Vann displayed a few spurts of nifty wordplay here and there, a more consistently spicy with the punches, witty at times, mayhem-lit and street-laced/gun bar savvy Fettuccine 20 scores with more than enough haymakers to handily take this 1-rounder from 16 Bars Rap Battle League.
Verdict: Fettuccine 20 (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Fettuccine 20 – “Bullets come from all angles, surround sound, loud smoke in the air call that the Sound cloud!”
Arsonal da Rebel defeats Swave Sevah
Recap: Swave Sevah has gone on record stating that it’s hard to get motivated to battle dudes that he’s cool with outside the ring, and it shows here as he goes light and puts forth a couple of short rounds against Arsonal. Then too Arsonal, because of his friendship with Swave, admittedly didn’t bring the full artillery for him either, but he still brought enough heat, along with some nice personals and bars to take a battle that could’ve been a lot better if they didn’t like other.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “If God requires a sacrifice, you who I’mma offer. off ya, burst the desi, head shot, on the ready got your dreads looking like burnt spaghetti”
Cortez defeats Jonny Storm
Recap: Against an always punch-heavy Jonny Storm in this 3-rounder from HomegrownBGCT, an uber-confident Cortez spazzes while getting lit for the entire battle with a gang of nasty personals, artful boasts/name flips, flexing wordplay/heat and righteous 4-bar setups/punchlines. And after the two would split the first two rounds, Tez saving his best, haymaker-drenched round for the 3rd would allow him to overcome another solid showing from Storm and earn the win.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “What you fuck say in the 1st round, that we been tracking dude, nigga, no one asked for you, how the fuck you gave me the rou-a-round when my career is overlapping you?!”
Danny Myers defeats Westcoast Dreds
Recap: A pretty personal battle littered with West-coast culture-related bars, plenty of boasts/mayhem and aggressive punchlines, after splitting the first two rounds (Danny edged the 1st, while Westcoast Dreds took the 2nd), a more active/versatile with the punches and consistent with the heat Mr. Myers is able to beat back a solid, but also a bit topsy-turvy and whiny turn from W.D. in the deciding 3rd round.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “That lima bean broke my time machine, ain’t no going back for me!”
Sno defeats HA Double
Recap: Sno aka Andy La Rocksta aka SnoMan aka the “Hip-Hop Riley Cooper” combines aggressive bars, heavy wordplay, nice name flips and a few stumbles by HA Double to take this UFF (Ultimate Freestyle Friday) tournament matchup.
Verdict: Sno (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Sno – “You goin’ see two Lee’s [Li’s] start kickin like a dual match between Bruce and Jet”
Cortez defeats John John da Don
Recap: Cortez is at his best when he’s totally focused and thus able to combine clever wordplay with nice comedic timing and aggressive bars/delivery. JJDD is at his best when he’s rapid punching along with delivering dope schemes/personals and of course, not stealing bars. So if these two stick to their formulas, what could possibly go wrong? Nothing here as these battle vets put on a quality show with no interruptions, instead frequented by exquisite bars, creative lines and feelgood machismo. However, it’s Cortez who gets the dub here with better angles, performance and consistency all around, esp. in round 1 and 2.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “John John I ain’t playing tonight, your girl on my john-john but am I saying it right?””
C3 defeats O’fficial
Recap: Dope, spirited and competitive battle between C3 and O’fficial on Queen of the Ring is highlighted by a barrage of braggadocio bangers, steady name flips and spicy wordplay/personals by C3 as well as fierce punchlines, solid heaters/personals and bodacious schemes by O’fficial. With O’fficial coming (“You big booty bitch, you wack as shit, with that big ass, how the fuck you find a strap to fit?!”) back late during her turn to edge the 1st round before C3 came back with a killer (“It’s amazing you could name a list of people that’s fucking me, and I can’t think of one dick that would admit that they fucking you!”) rebuttal, amped up punches and just-as-fire bars to take round 2, the 3rd and deciding round goes to C3. Who while elongated with her turn, still managed to go ham with a mix of punches that included some nice freestyles, stellar, in-ya-face idiosyncrasy and a load of hard wordplay to beat back a solid, but not as consistent (and a little redundant) turn by O’fficial.
Verdict: C3 (W) 2-1
Favorite line: C3 – “That’s probably why she can’t keep a guy or she having trouble getting one, this ring is fucking so important to you ‘cuz you know a nigger would never give you one!”
Bonnie Godiva defeats Shooney Da Rapper
Recap: Black Ice Cartel 3-rounder between Bonnie Godiva and Shooney Da Rapper sees a versatile and lyrically-lit Bonnie go ham on her opponent, using stinging 4-bar set-ups/jokes, some fire name flips, stifling personals and rigid mayhem/storytelling to beat a hardbody, but topsy-turvy and flow-challenged 3 rounds from Shooney.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Ever since Love and Hip-Hop, all you bald-headed side hoes been acting important!”
Eazy The Block Captain defeats MillionDolla Cash
Recap: Loved that ‘It’s like a season pass, this only a cash lane, who the fuck let Eazy pass?!’ line and a bunch of other piercing street missives (esp. in round 3, which he edged) tossed out by MillionDolla Cash in this gritty 3-rounder from World Battle League. However, a more consistently spicy, gun bar/trap talk-savvy and punch-lit Eazy The Block Captain with that pronounced flow that enriches his 4-bar set-ups and other worthy schemes/name flips, does enough here to take both of the opening rounds for the win.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “That .40 like a job, but in less hours I give 9 five!”
Brizz Rawsteen defeats Lotta Zay
Synopsis: Too many old-school references, generic bars and an inability to match Brizz Rawsteen’s aggression, gutter bars and personals clearly did Lotta Zay in here.
Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “Smart mouth niggas get smacked, right in their wisdom teeth!”
KG The Poet defeats Philly Swain
Synopsis: Who knew Philly Swain came outta retirement? OK well, unless he’s gonna update his style (that “Daddy” shit needs to go), use some newer-school references along with writing some better bars (“Have our head steamin like you runnin in the cold”?!?) and stop with the childish antics (ala fellow Philly native E. Ness)…..as KG The Poet does here, he’s gonna keep getting bodied in the ring. Indeed, a sad sight to see for a long-standing vet.
Verdict: KG The Poet (W) 3-0
Favorite line: KG The Poet – “The uncomfortable truth is if you was really making your money, bumping your music, you wouldn’t be in this ring getting pumbled and bruises from a nigga doing this shit half your time but still got paid double what you did!”
Bedaffi Green defeats Stash
Recap: Nice 1-rounder between Stash (Queens, NY) and Bedaffi Green on TrapHouse NY sees the former get off to a slow start before delivering Jew-laced mayhem backed by some fierce punchlines. But it’s a confident and more consistent Bedaffi who steals the show and gains the win with his own aggressive mix of spicy braggadocio lines, witty barbs and fiery punches.
Verdict: Bedaffi Green (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bedaffi Green – “Nigga’s know I don’t play, it’s that fat nigga from Gym class!”
Young Kannon defeats D. Flamez
Synopsis: Battle of the aggressive YN’s was definitely competitive throughout, but YK took it a notch in round 3, getting more versatile with the (“Better have your cousin in the Will [wheel] that’s Hillary Banks, ‘cuz you die in this ring, that’s Hillary Swank!”) wordplay, bars, performance and schemes to take the win.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D. Flamez – “That bitch remind me of Daylight Savings Time, an hour a head [ahead]”
Uno Lavoz defeats Bonnie Godiva
Recap: Is a win really a win when you’ve been exposed for allegedly being a rapist and woman-beater? Thanks to a pretty creative 3rd round from Bonnie Godiva, I guess that that will be up for Uno Lavoz to decide. But damn if Uno didn’t know something was up when you see your ex-girlfriend standing on stage…on the opposing side. Nonetheless, thanks to a slick mix of very disrespectful shiners, solid punchlines, a none-too-clean-2nd from Bonnie and that noted wit he’s become renowned for, it’s Lavoz who easily takes the first two rounds for the vic here.
Verdict: Uno Lavoz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Uno Lavoz – “And Ill Will even said that at one point you was talking to that dude as well, shit, she such a battle slut she should a get a tattoo above her cunt saying ‘Rapper to my right, introduce yourself!'”
Geechi Gotti defeats King Rico
Recap: In what was a pretty basic slew of raps from both sides, a first round choke by King Rico ends up sealing the deal as Geechi Gotti does enough with the punches and personals to also take round 2 before the leisurely stylings of Rico spits enough heat to beat back a pedestrian turn by Gotti in the 3rd.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “Nigga, I’ll beat your ass plkus I’ll do that daily, put a potato on a pistol, turn this nigga head into gravy!”
J. Murda defeats Nasdaq Ness
Recap: Here J. Murda takes a page from Charlie Clips, including with his “Sike, I lied!’ moment a variety of feelgood schemes, witty name flips and ironic wordplay to take this one from a steady, but mostly uneventful Nasdaq Ness.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J. Murda – “Just imagine when the shotty burst, and I’ll have your ass moving with your bones out like Miley twerking!”
Whosane defeats Pep
Recap: Tho he did falter a bit towards the end of his turn, a way more condensed Whosane spouts enough heated punches, fiery schemes and steely wordplay to edge Pep, who despite some nice (“Dirty nigga, you look like your thoughts stink!”) freestyles here and there, dished an elongated round that was too littered with pedestrian bars.
Verdict: Whosane (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Whosane – “My nigga’s promote that white like apartheid, this .40 look like it should have a deep voice and invite nigga’s to join the dark side!”
Jay Rell defeats T Man
Recap: Nice freestyles, Flintstone bars, personals, rebuttals in the middle of the verse and hometown Detroit schemes that made the homies nod their head in approval, it’s all there as Jay Rell scores an easy one against T Man.
Verdict: Jay Rell (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jay Rell – “30 shot, extended clip, 2 will kill that bitch and now you facing 28, that’s Kwame Kilpatrick”
Fiirst Ladii Flamez defeats J.D. Storm
Recap: A boatload of lyrical stunting, righteous boasts, stickly gun bars and some downright mean personals dominate this “Saint Valentines Day Massacre” card matchup between Fiirst Ladii Flamez and J.D. Storm from Battleground Virginia. And while both battlers kept it close throughout the bout, a more consistently spicy and overall bar-heavier Flamez manages to edge each round for the 30.
Verdict: Fiirst Ladii Flamez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Fiirst Ladii Flamez – “You look like you had an uncle who used to play with your cheeks!”
Ah Di Boom defeats J. Dose
Synopsis: When Ah Di Boom’s bars matches his performance and delivery he’s good comp. for just about anyone, including Dose whose inconsistency and lack of creativity are still proving to be major flaws. Give Boom credit here too for mostly staying away from what would’ve been easy-to-run with Math bars and using his natural talent instead to get the win.
Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ah Di Boom – “This combo will put you in the same coma Lil’ Wayne had, shots hit every inch of your body ‘cuz my aim drag”
MyVerse defeats Melato Black
Recap: Outside of a 2nd round choke from Melato Black, both and opponent MyVerse were able to display a consistent and fiery stream of adept lyricism in this Sparring Sessions battle brought to you from Queen of the Ring. But the telling Hip-Hop feen that is MyVerse, delivering nothing but steady heat via hardbody punches, sporty girl-power darts, stinging personals and some charming wordplay/schemes, takes each round handily on her way to a shutout.
Verdict: MyVerse (W) 3-0
Favorite line: MyVerse – “I rather expose how you wouldn’t flex if you could, in her neighborhood she’s called the Neck of the Wood!”
Charron defeats TheSaurus (Rematch)
Recap: TheSaurus certainly made him earn it as in this dope, personal and punchline-lit KOTD rematch of an earlier freestyle battle that the two had sometime back (that TheSaurus won), Charron hits with enough witty barbs, steely punches/wordplay, storytelling bars and stinging personals to edge the 2nd round (scored the other two debatable) and take this competitive battle.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “The Saurus, you’re washed up with no future, you’re the oldest fucking book since Kama Sutra!”
Whosane and Sco [DEBATABLE]
Recap: Besides a hot 2nd round from Whosane, there’s really not much to see here. A dry 1st round from both battlers makes that one a toss-up. The latter two rounds sees too many dated/pedestrian bars throughout from Sco. Yet, Whosane, ahead going into the 3rd, forgets his bars midway and almost chokes, which allows the less flow-challenged Sco to steal the round and get a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Whosane – “I’m with your groovy bitch, she give me funny head…that’s Stewie Griffin!”
Cortez defeats K-Shine
Recap: Mostly lackluster battle between K-Shine and Cortez. Round one sees the Murda Ave kingpin throw an ample lot of punches, but fail to land much–as opposed to K-Shine whose wanton brevity still managed to fashion some fiery (“Walking through Myrtle Ave with that weapon out like I licensed it!”) bars. Next couple of rounds saw Cortez get tighter and more efficient with his wordplay as well as up his performance to what was at times comical (“The nigga Rex is mad cuz his girl is bald like me, he ain’t think I’d peep that”) effect. While K-Shine, who outside of round one, seemingly didn’t take this match that seriously, in the latter rounds struggled with his delivery and bar potency–those factors combined with Cortez’s overall comeuppance gave the kid from Brooklyn a come-from-behind win.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “You see we surround towns, I bring the noise to every corner, surround sound!”
Brixx Belvedere defeats Danny Myers
Recap: Dope battle between Brixx Belvedere and Danny Myers, which is to be expected considering it headlined this Spit Dat Heat card. As is his modus operandi Danny came with righteous and aggressive bars loaded with gun talk, spicy wordplay and and feelgood “I’ll knock you to the grass with this palm blower, stand over you and crank it back to back like I can’t start my lawnmower”) execution. Yet, against a vet like Brixx, who was clearly on his A-game, Myers would come up just a little bit short as while scarce on haymakers, Brixx made up for it with constantly hitting (“I told these soldiers I came with the shooters, no toys I want head shots, I’m screaming ‘Red Tops!’ like dope boys”) punchlines, gutta (“If son flagging like Argentina, he gonna wear that bulls eye with a smile like a Target greeter”) bars, nice set-ups, jokes (“See this? I’m laid-back like tall drivers”) and biting personals. So while Danny put on a real good show, more versatility with the bars gets Brixx the win.
Verdict: Brixx Belvedere (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “My Niggaz shooting Brixx like they don’t care if they make the team or not”
