No Bias. No Narratives.
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Recap: In this 1-rounder from 16 Bars Rap Battle League, an aggressive but mostly basic Fettuccine 20 manages to unload enough street missives and solid gun bars to beat back a gritty, yet underwhelming Lion Heart to get the win.
Verdict: Fettuccine 20 (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Fettuccine 20 – “I never let the arm rest, I don’t put the gun down, but this a head shot, you gonan die off this one round!”
Recap: A long-awaited grudge match between QP (Qleen Paper) and Q.P. turns out to be a bit underwhelming on both sides as besides a fire (“Your mom look like a dried up grape, yep, the bitch raising [raisin] you!”) round 1, Quantum Physics usual pedigree for superlative wordplay were quite pedestrian in the latter two rounds, while Qleen’s boastful darts and gun punditry weren’t consistently noteworthy. Still, helped by an elongated turn by his opponent as well as some witty barbs and fiery (“Swave?, I would’ve laid that big nerd down, 3rd round?, my hands would’ve went around his neck, since I’m known for choking!”) personals/punches, a more condensed Qleen came back to edge the 2nd round before also edging the deciding 3rd with pronounced heaters along with a slightly more consistently potent output.
Verdict: Qleen Paper (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Qleen Paper – “Nigga, I’m the only QP you’ll notice, Temptations nigga, you been hating….nobody coming to see you Otis!”
Recap: Short rounds, a choke, one half round spent talking to a dude in the audience. Regardless of how much a rising star prez mafia is, there’s no sense in taking a battle if you’re not gonna take it seriously.
Verdict: Bandana Boogie (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bandana Boogie – “My gun will open up for everybody, it’s a people person”
Synopsis: Hitman all day. With arguably his greatest 1st round ever, Holla puts on another tremendous show with bars (“I told Ars send me my bread…and his half too!”, “I’m standing there giving him the Mayweather shoulder”), name schemes and of course, a dope remix to get off to a flying start. And while Red had a good round (that “40 in the club hitting young’uns, it’s a cougar strap” line was nice), pulling a JJDD and attempting copy’s Hitman’s remix was a lame move that came off horribly. After a so-so 2nd round by both rappers (I gave it to Red mostly because HH practically gave it up), Hitman, went back in beast mode for the 3rd, with polished sport schemes, personals (“It’s a known fact, all bitches hate when RED show up…period!”) and a hilarious version of Calicoe’s infamous story on Red’s problems with women that undoubtedly gave Hitman the W.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Best line: Hitman Holla – “I’ll punch you in the middle of my verse…rebuttal that!”
Recap: In this 3-rounder from KOTD, the mostly stiff bars of Hipnosis fail to make much noise, even when faced by a Stuey Newton who was solid throughout, but whom we’ve witnessed come better.
Verdict: Stuey Newton (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Stuey Newton – “When I see you, you better do everything I say, ‘cuz when I snap, you’ll be under hypnosis!”
Recap: With Amazing D Boy it’s usually a matter of his bars matching his yelling and agrression and in round 1 he was able so with enough dope wrodplay that he was even able to bring “Dawson’s Creek” into the battle and get away with it. Too bad for D Boy his first round was as good as it got, thereby allowing Xcel to step up his bar (“Try to pull my card, and get the hand like nigga deal with that”) game, retake the lead and easily get the win with an exquisite and crowd-pleasing 3rd.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “You rhyme like a soldier, spit like a threat, but yet when it’s time to shake, them lines gone, you Etch-A-Sketch”
Recap: Diesel’s more rambunctious bars aren’t always spitfire, but here against a more often lyrical lightweight in Ratchet, the Cali rapper’s bombastic Godspeak combined with the aforementioned how-many-ways-I-can-kill-you themes, are enough to come from behind, take the last two rounds and a win.
Verdict: Diesel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Diesel – “I’ll come to your funeral and when they try to lift you to Jesus, and give you something to take to the grave, like you’ll keep it a secret!”
Recap: More versatile, more consistent and more potent. Faced with the mostly ‘half-assed writtens’ from Tycoon Tax, Rum Nitty stays busy with elite guns bars, swaggerlicious name flips and well-honed (“Bitch, I’m on a roll like Charmin tissue!”) punchlines to score an easy 3-0 in this 3-rounder from KOTD..
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “I hit the function with my hat down low, computer virus, everybody in the background froze!”
Recap: After being taken to the woodshed by a more aggressive, metaphorically (“4 niggas in one class flow, I’m about to hit you with all types of special shit!”) nice and scheme-prone Eazy the Block Captain in round one, D.O.T. returns the favor in the latter rounds, leveling his ever-rich stage performance with a constant barrage of lethal (“i got the instincts of an animal nigga, but on my plate, human remains, so now I got the instincts of a cannibal!”) punchlines, nice personals and wild (“Chopper, heavy, I might catch a hernia if I lift from the thighs”) gun bars to come from behind and take the win.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “I’ll go in my closet and search for black clothes, I’m no pedophile, but the .9 I’m touching is about 4 years old!”
Recap: Weird seeing Smack host a non-URL battle. That said, despite an overall solid effort from Danja Zone, too many pedestrian bars overall, taking too long to get in his bag during rounds, fleeting personals that just didn’t hit and equally a punch-heavy JC who consistently brought the heat with audacious shiners and personals throughout the battle, gives the latter a pretty comfortable 30.
Verdict: JC (W) 3-0
Favorite line: JC – “I can blow like 8 battles straight bro, I’m the shit regardless and I’m a still get paid to burn you pussies…Mr. Marcus!”
Synopsis: Another easy win for Cortez as other then the 2nd round, Automatic Ray didn’t really put up much of a fight. Inconsistent bars and way too much filler did Ray in, which sucks because this wasn’t your best Cortez (once again too many gun bars) and against a vet you’d think PG’s, rookies or whatever you want to call them, would want to step it up to add an impressive ‘W’ to their resume. Not in this case.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Best line: Cortez – “The nigga Lux said in Harlem the loser had to jump, well we in Brooklyn, they brought guns and this loser has to run!”
Recap: Champion Pat Stay versus longtime battle vet Dizaster for the KOTD chain makes for a curious style clash and incredible battle, but overall doesn’t quite meet up to the expectations. And that’s partly due to the battle being almost an hour long, thus making for both battlers while getting a lot off their chest, being a little bent with filler and/or pedestrian bars, especially on Dizaster’s part. Still, while Diz wasn’t always on his A-game, even struggling with his flow at times, using lazy personals (including way too many Golden Retriever/Charron references) and not being as consistently aggressive as we’re used to seeing him, for the most part Pat Stay was, with the Nova Scotia spitter dishing his usual assortment of jocular stylings, hard bully bars and gritty punchlines with the flair of a defending champ. Overall, a solid battle that sees a more polished and condensed Pat Stay hold onto his belt by taking the first two rounds before a debatable 3rd.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Check it, see you wild, but I got more style than you, I’m so nice my rap name should be ‘How Are You?'”
Recap: A slip-up prone Ooops more than lives up to his name with a plethora of unexpected visits from EARL during his 2nd and 3rd rounds, after spitting what was solid, but pretty short 1st. But then with Mike P’s continual assault of fiery words, white-boy (“The right [makes hand like a fist] deadly as Oxycontin in a white kid’s hand!”) drama and punches throughout his three rounds, even if Ooops had managed to spit three clean rounds, he still might’ve been better off staying at home.
Verdict: Mike P (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Mike P -“You food on my plate, shit you looking like the ref’s look, when then Tek’s book, it’s textbook, dude cock it and shoot two rockets and shove it back in my pocket…I’m Russell Westbrook!”
Recap: Honestly thought J Protege was done when he mentioned Avril Lavigne in a bar in round 1. But credit to the kid for pushing on, tho he’d eventually slip-up and choke in the latter rounds, all the while handily losing to a brazen, punchline-lit, gun bar-dishing and wordplay-spicy Drugz in this tryout battle from SupaNova/STC.
Verdict: Drugz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Drugz – “Right after I get the pump, you gonna lay there like an airbed!”
Synopsis: There’s obvious reasons you have to respect the freestyle over the written when it comes to battle rap. After all anyone can take the time to prepare bars, memorize them and deliver them come battle time. But freestyling takes on a whole different mentality, what with on-the-spot spontaneity combined electrifying energy, an oft-difficult artform that takes you back to the neighborhood cyphers. It’s why this battle was close, because while K. Holla’s wordplay were genuinely nice and consistent, they weren’t superb or creative enough to warrant an obvious win over AR’s mix of funny hijinks and steady personals..all within freestyle mode. Too bad AR basically took the first round off, wasting freestyles on Jesse Rican instead of his opponent or he might’ve stole another win.
Verdict: K Holla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: K Holla – “Call my bluff, no ring, I’ll let it vibrate beside his click, his body drop without nobody knowing, that’s Beyonce shit”
Recap: A.K.’s laidback flow reeks of urban flair that often hit their rmark. However, an inconsistent 1st round and a choke in the 3rd allows for a pretty average overall Gwitty to squeeze out a win.
Verdict: Gwitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: A.K. – “Always screaming out ‘Gwitty is paper!’, nigga from the looks of it, it looks like Gwitty is labor!”
Synopsis: Again, I hate one-rounders. Nonetheless, this was a dope battle as both had bars for days, brought plenty of performance and threw some jokes (Ah Di Boom’s line about Verb patting his s-curls before a fight was hilarious) in there to keep the crowd entertained. However, overall I thought Verb edged it with better storytelling and while succinctly schooling Ah Di Boom on newbies vs. vets and how to become a better battle rapper. Then too, Ah Di Boom relied too much on rumors and hearsay and real rap always beats fabricated lines.
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0
Best line: Aye Verb – “Your second mistake, image is everything, it’s way more than just some rap shit, don’t get it twisted you’re not dirty, you have fashion, just your whole act says…I can be catfished”
Recap: Can’t complain here, both Chess and J-Krooger did their thing, unfortunate that someone in the crowd tried to ruin the event. Still, Chess edges this 1-rounder with more clever wordplay and direct punches that more than made their mark.
Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chess – “And if I do lose tonight your top flying, nigga I’m taking either side, I’m not biased”
Synopsis: Rosenberg Raw doesn’t get near the credit he deserves for being funny, having bars and performance, which makes it even more surprising that a seasoned vet like Swave would take him light. I mean Swave’s 1st round was so short and blah that he practically gave it to Raw on a plate. And Raw had some witty bars in the 2nd (“I’m the type to grab an ounce of soft and make him sell it for me, I always wanted to fuck QP in the mouth would you go tell her for me?”), but a couple of slip-ups and a more aggressive Swave evened things out. Yet Rosenberg stayed consistent in the 3rd with better bars to edge it out in the end.
Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1
Best line: Swave Sevah – “Rosenberg, the only nigga I know that caught feelings when a Bill Collector stopped calling”
Recap: Dope one-rounder between Piranha and Cash Eatin with Piranha snapping on his opponent’s authenticity (“You make Detroit look bad, you a X-Factor nigga!”) while delivering frequent personals. On the flip side Cash went for straight clowning (“It’s Peanut…without the .38!”) but also spit some juicy punchlines, performance bars and name flips. More variety on the side of Cash Eatin gave him the win.
Verdict: Cash Eatin (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Cash Eatin – “Head to the stars, smile, you in hell’s kitchen when that mac shake, getting hit with that 40 like…bars, getting stared at with the Jaz face!”
Recap: This was on its way to being a pretty dope battle until both Supastar Sal and Nuborn choked and slipped up in the 3rd round. Before that Sal was putting on a decent show, esp. scoring in the 2nd round with quips like “This is Brady verse McNabb, Mayweather verse whoever you can grab” and gutta lines like “Fuck Nuborn, I’m avoiding??? him, I’ll buck him and keep on trucking like Oregon”. Still, Nuborn rode into VA with some out of town heat, packing personals (“You know what your broad do? she be playing with my nuts ‘cuz I’m packing downstairs like my basement full of junk”), wordplay and punchlines (“He’ll put his lips on a mail, that’s a love letter”) with wanton regularity. Too bad for Sal, after splitting the first couple of rounds, an early choke would do him in and make it a layup for Nuborn to grab the win.
Verdict: Nuborn (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nuborn – “He’ll get salty when I go ham, it’ll raise his blood pressure”
Recap: “This battle means absolutely nothing to me”….and from the moment Daylyt did the sign language stuff, you just knew where this battle was headed. Still, M. Ciddy did his thing and deserves credit for it: nice (“I could sleep and son Day [Sunday] like I’m late for church”) wordplay, hard-hitting bars, fresh schemes and winning personals to cop an easy win.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 3-0
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “Dammit dude you the lamest in the town, you about to battle Magic to tangle for this crown, he fatal with the sound, for you to get that B M W you gotta try angles [triangles] in the round”
Recap: D.O.T.’s performance bars not only capture the gloomy chill as well as the passion of Brooklyn rhyme-slayers, but leaves you calling 911 to come pick up Hood Apostle’s corpse too.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 3-0
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “I’ll strangle you with a rope till I see Whoopi Goldberg in you, he like ‘what that mean?’, that’s the color purple”
Recap: A rare peek from inside URL’s Vault here finds John John Da Don going up against Qleen Paper and up until Qleen pulls out his phone to remember his bars towards the end of his 3rd round (which, ironically he was receiving doubt over whether or not he’d even having a 3rd round, considering some more recent, ill-prepared performances) it was a goodie as Qleen’s mocking personals (esp. towards Rosenberg Raw), witty performance bars and gritty street boasts edged him round 1, before the versatile, set-up/punch-lit and brazen JJDD (who’s only problem here was way too many shots at Calicoe here, yunno, instead of the guy he was facing) came back to edge round 2 to even things up. However, as alluded to earlier, despite some effort that got him half-way through, a solid final turn by Qleen (against another fiery run by JJDD in the 3rd) would amount to a huge misstep by the Detroit up-n-comer when he forgot his lines and had to go to his phone to complete his round, thus helping John John seal the win.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “I hear this pussy say it again, like John John ain’t real he just faking again, I reply like ‘What nigga?!’, put the .8 to his chin, it’ll be the first time he won’t say it again!”
Recap: In a one-round battle of two emcees spitting a lot of aggressive lines, but not really saying much, Tink Tha Demon has just enough (“I seen niggas with loud mouths turn casket shy!”) shiners left in the tank to beat a cocky and aggressive, but mostly bland LB Da Boss.
Verdict: Tink da Demon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Tink Tha Demon – “All I know is shoot to kill, all I seen is bodies, bullets with no names, just ifs, and’s and probably’s!”
Recap: Too many syrupy punchlines from Casey Jay to go along with some hard-hitting personals and a fierce name-flip game gives her a well-earned 30 over a brazen and aggressive, but mostly pedestrian and flow-challenged Teekay in this Texas 3-rounder from DFW Battle League.
Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “These two guns come together like they Siamese twins, killing a couple, that’s why I call ’em Hers and His!”
Recap: I hate ties, but this one could definitely go either way. I mean, Big Kannon came with his usual m.o.: sizzling bars, jokes, schemes, personals all wrapped up in a dope performance. But the always underrated Money Bagz came with a total barfest that was so surprisingly (“My homie had to use the sweeper 3 times in one day, now that’s a neat freak!”) consistent, overall it matched BK’s palette. Regardless, no matter who you think won, if Money Bagz were to make a case for getting on the big stage with Smack, he’d be well within his rights to use battle to cement his argument.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “But why he been sleeping?, when the thing that I’m keeping is a nice banger, long beam, light from the sco look like a lightsaber, come out with your green or see that tommy, that’s the white ranger to put a hole in anything sweet, that’s a life saver”
Recap: Whew! Kinda battle that makes you actually yearn for the Fight Klub days where you had a pool table between the rappers therefore making touching each other a non-issue. That said, I don’t have a problem with any battle rapper not wanting to be touched during a battle, but with all the performance bars and hand gesturing that’s in play these days, it doesn’t take being a rocket scientist to know the difference between being touched (Dubz barely grazed him) accidentally and someone outright disrespecting you with their hands. Then too, since it’s Cityy Towers who started the whole brouhaha (again, he had every right to be bothered by the touching, but I don’t think Dubz meant any disrespect with any of it), to be fair, all that gesturing at the camera while his opponent spits and/or grilling his opponent isn’t cool either, much less displays poor sportsmanship. Too bad for all distractions that came with the extra shit, because bar for bar and style for style this was a really dope battle. I got Towers edging taking the 1st and 2nd rounds, while Dubz clearly got the 3rd.
Verdict: Cityy Towers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cityy Towers -“You’re a Buckingham’s Palace guard, your career’s a stand still”
Synopsis: Probably the worse Calicoe we’ve ever seen: totally unprepared, testy and clearly overlooking his opponent for his upcoming match with Surf. Props to DNA for catching an easy body on his home turf and putting it out there in no uncertain terms to Calicoe that he lost to Lux.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Best line: DNA – “But since you like Michael Vick, it should ne no problem when this eagle spit, this nigga Calicoe be fighting with chickens more then Peter Griffin”
Recap: The only battle rapper who’ll never need a hype man, if you wanna understand Danny Myers struggle (“Danny boy ain’t trying to have a career like Danny Boy“) and where the hell all that energy comes from this is the battle to watch. I mean 10 kids!!! Has he ever heard of something called a vasectomy? Regardless, Myers steals the show here from an earnest, but just alright Mark Miner, taking him to town with haymakers, consistent aggression, a nice Death Row scheme and flat-out (“FBI will be looking for a minor [Miner] like an Amber Alert”) bars. Yikes, indeed.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “It’s like I took a bible up to the 2nd floor the way I come up with verses”
Recap: Nothing too out of the ordinary here as Dutchess and Bonnie Godiva use pretty standard dishes of mayhem, personals, witty barbs and punches to get their point across in this 3-rounder from RBE. And while the ever-bombastic Dutchess had the best round of the night with a sizzling 2nd round after a debatable 1st, a pretty mediocre 3rd by Dutch would allow the slightly punch-heavier Bonnie to edge the final round and make this one a draw.
Verdict: Debatable
Favorite line: Dutchess – “Bon-Bon, look around you, we all know you was sucking off John John!”
Recap: Flexing some nice wordplay, fortified gun lines and hard, braggadocio bars throughout this one-round matchup, R Streetz withstands the swift, sometimes fiery punches of Tony Gwaop, who if he didn’t spend a quarter of his turn going at other rappers besides his opponent might’ve stood a better chance at beating the guy in front of him.
Verdict: R Streetz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: R Streetz – “Nigga, you smell fake, [so] when this little nigga pop up on you, it ain’t Hell Date!”
Recap: Ill Will versus B. Magic is a close one throughout with the always punchline-heavy Magic dishing too much heat in taking the 1st round, before Will overcomes a bit of a slow start and returns the favor with a barrage of heated punches and potent schemes to outshine a less potent Magic, take the 2nd and split things going into the 3rd. With Magic still punching efficiently in the deciding round, but failing to meet the high barometer he set in the 1st, a more versatile with the bars, name flip savvy and witty Will does more than enough to take the round and the win.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ill Will – “You nobody till somebody kill you, that’s what Biggie taught, think you could outrun these shells? that’s what Ricky thought!”
Recap: Nice battle. D-Money represented, the “I’ll Quiet the room, I’ll get his queen flipped” line was ill (esp. with what I guess was Prep’s girl in the room) as was the “I got a young shooter that’s dying to put in work, he’ll spit that heat for just enough money to roll weed with” bar if you like that G talk. But a little too much filler (not including explaining what happened with his lackluster PG battle) and his homies gassing up his bars (esp. the “.357…long nose…pelican” line) was just a little too much to bear. That said, Prep proves once again that he’s a problem, not just out-dressing his opponent, but winning with some nice wordplay (“He got it back words [backwards], thinking he could spar with raps”), personals (“…..I know y’all hoped D Rose to the occasion but his PG was on some bullshit!”), quality freestyles in the middle of the written, fresh schemes and dope bars.
Verdict: Prep (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Prep – “This was the wrong one to bank on, Norbes should’ve put Money in a Vault”
Recap: Whatever that “shit” is, Danny Myers was certainly cooking here. Spouting rigid bars on how many ways he can take out BE-Z, when he mentions “clothes-lining this nigga like my dryer broke”, you’re left with no choice but to believe him.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I’m vicious with these hands, I’ll make your whole shit crack, doctors will put so many plates in your face your x-ray will look like a dish rack”
Recap: Dirtbag Dan, apparently a Bay-area “legend” in his own mind, gets bodied by Charlie Clips’ arsenal of exquisite wordplay, nice schemes, friendly rebuttals and witty bars.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “We both Mexican, because I’m serving every kind of shell out of that one truck”
Recap: Appreciate the come up as in a battle of local North Carolina emcees, T Top takes out Punchline with a fiery performance that’s ably backed by winsome (“I came with a black-ass trigger, a 4-5, the kick back made me smack my nigga!”) dramedy, dope schemes and clever wordplay
Verdict: T Top (W) 3-0
Favorite line: T Top – “Nasty with a noose, at no time his neck could fit, I thought he was dead, but it was hanging on his second chin”
Recap: Here we witness some moments here and there from the witty and braggadocio (“There’s two legends from the West-coast right? Me and Tupac!”) punches of Jay Scott. But in this West-coast AHAT Battle, Dre Vishiss’ overall wordplay, sport-themed darts and salacious punchlines/personals edges each round for the win.
Verdict: Dre Vishiss (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dre Vishiss – “Now this nigga playing hard, but turn fraud when he got issues, knowing that he extra soft, we all know Scot’s tissue!”
Recap: Despite some J. Murda chick/stan in the crowd almost ruining the match by talking throughout the rounds, J. Murda stays at ease and uses heavy punchlines, steady aggression and wild schemes to take out an inconsistent and too-long-with-the-angles Whosane, who in light of the crowd antics still didn’t have enough to stay with Murda.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 3-0
Favorite line: J. Murda -“You suck pussy and you tasting this casket, in both ways you eat the box”
Synopsis: Warning to all battle rappers: DO NOT battle Goodz in a one-rounder. Really now. And there’s no sense trying to spin this one as despite a solid effort from Danja Zone, a Henny-holding, gem-dropping and versatile Goodz was just clicking (“Thinking you on, well you wrong, you had a classic with NuBorn, no for real you had a CLASSIC with NuBorn”) on all cylinders here. Indeed, BX all day.
Verdict: Goodz (W) 1-0
Best line: Goodz – “Where’s the charisma at?, that was today’s lesson, matter fact y’all battle rappers should’ve met me on Christmas, I was giving out stage presence (presents)!”
Recap: “He weight-hating!” LOL!!! Seriously tho, a little surprised a vet like Marvwon would try to out bully the likes of Head Ice here. Sure, Marv had a couple of nice (“He ain’t gonna be the same when he leave Minnesota, nigga this gonna be like Marbury all over again”) bars, but with so many angles to choose from, you’d think he’d know better almost spending his entire round on “Who’s Harder?” semantics, esp. when at times it didn’t look like even he could take what he was spitting that seriously. Still, Ice being Ice, spends half his round spitting hilarious fat (“I don’t give a fuck how much water in your knees, your titties may kill you in your sleep, cuz we black folks”) jokes and the rest of it that street shit he’s renowned for, working both lanes to full effect with a performance to match then heading back to Harlem with another vic on his hands.
Verdict: Head Ice (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Head Ice -“I’m your boss today, and I feel like you taking up too much office space, so…’CLIP!’…’BOOF!’…you off today!”
Recap: Nice QOTR Sparring Session 3-round punchfest between Casey Jay and Miami Blaize, after a debatable round 1, goes Casey’s way as the Texas battler’s thrifty wordplay and lyrically-sharper boasts easily beat back her hitting-at-times, but less consistent and also flow-challenged opponent.
Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “When I sneak her, she’ll get dropped faster than Reebok did Rick Ross!”
Recap: Definitely not a body, but outside the fat jokes Syahboy wasn’t really hitting with any frequency while Big Kannon came with enough hot bars, schemes, jokes (“You been on 106? Well, so has Nuborn, bitch you have done nothing”) and wordplay to edge each round.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Syahboy – “Your bitch gave me long tongue, Chuck Taylors”
Recap: From Brooklyn Mic Club, solid display of punches from Firekidd who came with a boatload of random street missives that often landed. But in what was a close and competitive matchup throughout, a more versatile-punching, consistently gritty, witty at times and engaging with a wide series of spicy 4 bar-setups Eazy The Block Captain manages to take both of the opening rounds for the win before Firekidd edged the 3rd.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “My team strong, you Reggie, you a casualty, 1st of the Month beef, you get jacked automatically!”
Recap: Can’t front, close battle, almost too close, almost a debatable. But after a few listens the edge goes to Yung Ill only because the feeling here is that he put more effort into the battle while outbarring (not so much haymakers, but a lot of jabs/punches) and using more angles on K-Shine, who relied a little too heavily on performance and a few angles in which only one stood out (Ill stretching his schemes was nice, the ‘Who Is This Nigga?’ semantics was ok, but the ‘Is Ill Gay?’ shit has been played to death). Then too the Hitman Holla remix, while funny to watch, didn’t quite hit on effect and Shine’s attempt to pack so much heat in short rounds was sorta hit (that “You stop for a minute and stretch every line and then you started using hard” line in round 3 had to hurt) or miss while overall Ill was more consistent with the bars, storytelling, punchlines and performance.
Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Yung Ill – “I could talk about his priorities but ‘X’ that, I’m a contract killer I’m just signing where the ‘x’ at!”
Recap: Illaniz: “You gonna lose due to lack of performance and preparation”. Who knew Illanoiz was in the prophecy business? That being said, despite spitting what turned out to be a (“So if daddy brush here [hair], then I’m banging it on him, you see the Pops hit his waves like Adrian Broner”) decent first round, D Gunna does the inexplicable…choking during his round two and proceeding to quit right afterwards in an all-important Proving Grounds matchup. So it’s an easy bodybag for Illanoiz, who displayed enough versatility, a too-ill board game scheme and crazy (“Seen the laptop and some money, I took his mac-n-cheese [Mac and cheese] and I’m coming back if your chain make my collar green”) wordplay during his two rounds, that he probably would’ve won the battle anyway–too bad that Gunna’s complete meltdown didn’t allow us to find out.
Verdict: Illanoiz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Illanoiz – “That shotty will pilate your body, better be flexible”
Recap: I’d love to call this one for Chess as he certainly outnumbered Young Criss on haymakers, wordplay and performance, but those stumbles combined with a pretty dope and almost flawless performance from (“You say you do dirt? How much can you do when you under some?”) Young Criss hurt him overall. Regardless, for being only 16, Chess is way too nice…so check his ID anyway.
Verdict: Young Kriss (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chess – “Y’all think this nigga got drive?, well if he staring down tell him not to bring his car clothes [close] to me, cuz’ I’m shooting at tire it’ll wear him out”
Recap: Lots of mediocre/predictable bars on both sides, but a Gwitty choke in the 2nd along with a shortened 3rd, allowed for Bishop White’s more consistent flow and random haymakers to garner extra shine and in turn, an easy win.
Verdict: Bishop White (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bishop White: “Your mars like Math Hoffa’s right hand…bad for the culture!”
Recap: As seen here, there’s a big difference between battle rapping and rapping on a beat. With that said, Mack Mel’s more cohesive punches/gun bars make for a clean win over the rapid flow of Mr. Bey which might’ve been better served in a booth.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Macl Mel – “I’m that black Mr. Miyagi, with that hockey mask, fuck Tae-kwon do, nigga welcome to the shotty class, when I let my Mossberg talk…it don’t lollygag!”
Recap: Bit of controversy surrounded this 2-round battle between JC and Knalo G as the Pontiac, Michigan rapper would recycle a gang of bars used here in a later battle against Tay Roc. That said, up-n-comer Knalo G wasn’t bad here, the Minnesota rapper dishing enough sturdy punches and witty (“You 4-foot nuthin’, I would hate to play Hide-n-Seek with you!”) personals to edge round 1, before a more bar efficient and punch-heavier JC easily took the 2nd round over his flow-challenged and mostly subpar opponent to make this one a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: JC – “These coke-sniffing battle rappers are clearly paying for the wrong lines, nigga!”
Synopsis: Dope battle, a definite barfest, both came and did their thing. However, as much as Steams’ 3rd round was over-the-top on bars (“You’ll hear a pow then Boom in a cloud like a Batman fight”), performance and delivery, the feeling here is that Boom flexed a little more (and upped his bars) in the starter (that scheme transition lines was mean!) rounds to get the victory by a nose.
Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ah Di Boom – “I swear I’m like Majin Buu the way I’m ’bout to body Steams”
Recap: Some rich (“Gun line after gun line with the same punchline…OLD, that shit ain’t New [Nu] Jerzey!”) name flips and a more versatile round 3 (combined with a short turn by his opponent) saves him from getting shut out, but other than that Big Homie couldn’t provide much else. And when faced against Nu Jerzey Twork’s repertoire of fat jokes, aggressive (“When I dump the steel, you’ll see this fat man yelling at will [Will] like Uncle Phil!”) gun chatter and hitting schemes/punchlines, a quality win on the road just wasn’t in the cards
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Nigga I’m the boss, but when I’m firing these Tek’s involved, I’ll put him in the air…higher than his cholesterol!”
Recap: This kid Jimz has potential (“I’ll show you what to really do with this pussy, like the karmasutra”), seemed to have worked on his versatility and wordplay, but regardless of how many top tier battle rappers he disses, he’s gotta work harder on his authenticity, find a sense of humor (trust me, showing your funny side can win you battles), quit biting lines and get more complex with the bars. Besides that, after pretty much snoozing through round 1, Ty Law woke up and just spazzed, breaking down his opponent’s artillery with punchline (“I’m the one that said I’ll let revolvers blast, no movie thing, shoot the scene like Heartless’ dad”) after punchline (“Annoying single, I ain’t never heard a cornier hit, don’t blink get your eye shot, cornea hit”) along with personals and (tho Jimz’ 3rd was nice, esp. that “I stay with my ratchet, that’s my black girl bitch….black girl itch” line was fire!) crazy execution to come back and get the win.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ty Law – “All them rounds in his head like the nigga practicing his bars”
Recap: Tay Roc goes postal in the first two rounds here against JC, delivering a splendid round of (“Once these HIT MEN your brother gone have to hold u up, get close enough then Dose you up!”) haymakers, sizzling gun (“Laid my mag down she new I wasn’t tryin to fuck”) bars, congenial wordplay, aggressive (“I caught him with his bitch, I had time enough, I whipped out my blade and laid my Mac down, she knew I wasn’t try to fuck”) punchlines and personals to not only take this highly entertaining battle, but score yet another win against a Michigan spitter. JC’s 3rd round was crazy (“I’ll fry to the death, Paul Walker”) nice with nice schemes, wordplay and metaphors galore, but taking somewhat long with his set-ups, using nonsensical angles (treating Roc like a no-name by saying you didn’t even do any “research” on him was a non-starter) and a little too much filler during rounds (tho the “Paramount” scheme was nice) 1 and 2, took out any chance he had to compete with Roc here.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “I’m not a Vice Lord, my brothers are, so I eat with 12 like the Last Supper”
Synopsis: The Deadman got’s some jokes (“When you was playin’ checkers, I was playin’ chess, and when you was playin’ chess, I was done playin’ games”) and performance ability, but his flow needs serious work and he isn’t nearly consistent enough to put up a fight against Chilla Jones, who uses solid wordplay, dope scheme and rigid name flips to easily take the win.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0
Best line: Chilla Jones – “My toasters may spread you, your toasters make bagels”
Recap: Apparently so confident in his chances against his opponent that he wrote a shortened 3rd round, it’s ultimately a strong 2nd that most separates Jai from Lance, whose mostly pedestrian bars failed to match his moxy or aggression.
Verdict: Jai (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jai – “But Lance, you do nothing right so I’m a tell you what you do wrong, you perpetrate, so it’s FU like Too Wong!”
Synopsis: Damn, this is a close one, both came with it, literally spitting that heat. Got the 2nd and 3rd rounds tied/debatables, 1st round edged to T Top on the versatility: visceral bars, metaphors (“Where I’m from you throw up something you got some shit to prove”), name flips and personals.
Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T Top – “Basically what I’m saying be cool or die, I let them boys sing in a group it ain’t Coolie High”
Recap: Really good battle between Lotta Zay and Kg The Poet as both spit plenty of heat and put forth a dope battle for the KOTD fans in attendance. Still, it’s Lotta who edges this one, pulling off a comeback by stepping up his bars and using his experience and cool to withstand the biased crowd. KG, clearly the crowd favorite throughout (esp. when he spouted some terrific hometown schemes), came crazy (“But don’t try bull cuz if so my wolves will come hurt you Lot and give a Walker with this Cowboy, out come Herschel [hearse you] Lot”) from jump with plenty of aggressive punchlines and high-end (“Nigga, you still begging John John for a 3rd battle, the plot just thickens”) banter throughout, but seemed to lose a little steam by round 3 as his bars became less and less potent. That made room for Lotta Zay to cook, esp. after an average 1st round and run with a new gameplan: all-too-funny personals, stifling wordplay, fiery schemes and heavy (“You thinking it’s your time now, this solider basic training, I ain’t even supposed to be giving you live rounds”) bars and get a nice win on the road for Jersey.
Verdict: Lotta Zay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Lotta Zay – “Your bitch is a fan of me bastard and she said your sex just don’t feel real no more, so I fuck her in ass so hard she can’t sit down like a guest on the Steve Wilkos show”
Recap: Even a hilarious (“Cuz when I get in ‘Drive’ you see da feet, that’s the car from Barney Rubble…accel [Xcel]”) 1st round, steady name flips and ever-present antics from Daylyt can’t interrupt or stop the stampede of punchlines and killer (“I’m not one to bet against, I’ll show up with arms on your table like fuck etiquette”) performance bars from a consistently on-point Xcel who proceeds to win this Trap House battle with relative ease.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “Your screws loose, all that mean to me is two to your dome, beat me?, you couldn’t get this double U [W] with a clone”
