No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: From Pit Fights Battle League, gritty and aggressive 3-rounder between Murda and Rolla sees the latter’s hardbody punches, mocking personals and frequent bouts of mayhem amass enough heat to take both of the opening rounds for the win against a condensed and raucous, but until round 3, not quite as consistently hitting opponent.
Verdict: Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Murda – “Go stainless steel, he don’t bang for real like dry humping!”
Synopsis: I can get with the “Quiet Room” concept, it’s something new and different, but 8 minutes of BS before the actual battle?!? Really??? Anyway, this is more about John John losing this than Charlie Clips winning as John John continued use of Serius Jones’ “Multiple Choice, All of the Above” scheme is an utter joke, the hula-hoop bar he used seemed very familiar and JJDD even stealing Clips “sike” line was straight corny. Charlie, despite some stumbles, won this easy with better freestyles and personals than JJDD’s written’s.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Best line: Charlie Clips – “Stuttered against Yung Ill, so what, when you on a Spree well, you get to choke like that”
Recap: Early B. Dot, much less righteous pontificating and more of a solid punching, name-flip swinging, a little personal and actually displaying some wit here and there in this competitive battle versus the rapid-punching and rebuttal capable Knoeital. The two swap the first two rounds before in what was a pretty tight deciding 3rd, a slightly more pointed and consistent edges the round for the win.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Dot – “Basically you should only speak when you’re spoken to, but I find that ironic [‘cuz] a closed mouth can get fed lead until they open you!”
Recap: From WBL Philly, all Eazy The Block Captain here as the PA emcee’s ability to not only kick a gang of consistently spitfire punches put him ahead, but the versatility, rigid name flips/schemes/gun bars and knack for inserting wit in his even more brazen of rhymes combines to overwhelm (esp. during a sublime 2nd round) a gritty-punching, but topsy-turvy (esp. when he was wasting bars on one of his peers on stage) G. Lowe.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “I’ll never have a Debo or Craig momemt…why?, ‘cuz I’ll just shoot the nigger!”
Recap: Utilizing effective screeds of dry humor, mocking personals and a bunch of witty jokes on the Gym coach profession (which he shares with his opponent), after getting edged in round 1 to a rebuttal-spitting and consistently solid-punching Real Deal, UK rapper Ogmios comes back with a stellar round 2 and another fire 3rd to win what was altogether a dope and competitive battle from Don’t Flop.
Verdict: Ogmios (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ogmios – “Just listen to his words, ‘6am I wake, it’s cold as death in the city of steel, I don’t shave to symbolize how pretty I feel’, that is deep bro, so your whole face is a metaphor!”
Recap: M. Ciddy may not be a top tier battle rapper (yet), but he’s not a mid-tier either, more like somewhere in-between or better yet, a gatekeeper if you will for the top tiers, which should garner him respect wherever he battles. Like here against an able up-n-comer like Showoff, who had to know that he’d better bring his A-game if he was going to stand a chance against the likes of Ciddy. And barring a couple of minor slip-ups, Showoff does just that with fierce wordplay, name flips, performance bars, potent (“Why do you still write? I mean you had a couple of lines, but you don’t kill mics, made me wish I could fast-forward you in real life”) teasers and earnest bully (“You say my squad brought the singer with them, I give a right hook I ain’t trying to feature with him”) lines. Yet for all of his opponents efforts, M. Ciddy still does him one better with crazy (“Push was outshining you like Malice and Clipse”) personals, ill set-ups, a nice rebuttal in round 3, wordplay (“I’m blacking on the web like Eddie Brock”), aggressive punchlines and flat-out wicked (“We wouldn’t see Show guns with Japan leaders”) bars. A victory for M. Ciddy, but overall one of the better battles of 2013.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “John Heard you got bars and you probably nice, I let a shot go ‘By!’ [bi] like Wanda Sykes, and take herd out the game, Jumanji dykes [dice]”
Recap: Considering the names here, except for Clips 3rd round, this battle was a little disappointing. But IMO that’s more on Surf’s part. I mean, not only does Surf have a huge (albeit rare) slip-up, but most of his bars were basic and I thought he would’ve used more angles along with personals on Clips–hell, even some nice “What I Gotta Put In Subtitles?” schemes could’ve done damage and possibly given Surf a win (w/o a slip-up of course). Just seemed like the energy/motivation just wasn’t there for Surf, surprising considering a clear win over the likes of Clips would look good on anyone’s resume. I gave Surf the round because it was clearly his best and cuz’ Clips finished his kinda lame, Clips clearly got the 2nd and 3rd tho.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “I’ll search for him then click on Surf, that’s a YouTube app, the gun under this Big T going [sound effects] ‘beep, beep, bigidiy, boukou bap'”
Recap: Love Tay Roc’s reactions here in this nice PG battle. That said, Jay Rell has a dope freestyle (the Drake jokes killed) game, jokes and can spit the occasional hard-hitting (“My niggas dumping bury [Berry] like Eric Benet”) bar, but against a Ty Law at his best, dropping rapid (“The .40 ugly when he signing, Bobby Brown”) punchlines after (“My bullets all racist, they be knockin’ niggas melon in [melanin]”) punchlines along with terrific flow and wordplay, combined with his slip-ups there was just no way Rell could keep up.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ty Law – “When somethin’ from the 80’s get stuck in his head, bitch it ain’t ‘Computer Love'”
Recap: Villun’s often mean (hey, it worked to enough effect to get him a debatable round 2), but redundant personals on his opponent’s mom aside, this one really wasn’t that close as DNA’s variety of fiery punchlines, fly schemes, creative sermonizing and spitfire personals manage to easily beat back Villun’s otherwise pedestrian bars in rounds 1 and 3 for the win.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Besides tonight, he been getting fucked by DNA his entire life!”
Recap: In a battle that went on way too long, by the time Super Black shows up in the 3rd round (after a very pedestrian and long-winded 1st and 2nd) it’s way too late as Krucial Ken’s race-baiting lines, righteous name flips, aggressive punchlines and spirited gun bars all prove to be too much for an opponent who waited too late to make things competitive.
Verdict: Krucial Ken (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Krucial Ken – “Tell ya bitch, I’ll power too [power her too], I’ll power tool nigga, dis Black and Deck her, ‘cuz one shot from this will floor him and drop his botch, it’ll hit Black and Deck her!”
Recap: Both Lotta Zay and Emerson Kennedy spout a load of congenial wordplay in this feelgood one-rounder from AHAT. However, despite his best efforts on direct name flips and other more non-PC bars, Zay’s overall body of work fails to beat back a more verbally flippant and consistent Kennedy, tho it might’ve taken EK a little longer to get in his bag.
Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy -“That drama all the same tho, the llama in my plain clothes, it’ll steam a nigga’s onion, Benihana volcano!”
Recap: Able to display more versatility with her bars and out-punch her raucous, but mostly pedestrian opponent Dutchess for the first two rounds, before getting edged in the round 3, an ever aggressive, witty and wordplay/personal-lit MyVerse earned the win in this 3-rounder from VoiceBox Battles.
Verdict: MyVerse (W) 2-1
Favorite line: MyVerse – “At home, she think the goons gonna be taking a shot…out here, you could get killed by Neighborhood Watch!”
Recap: Fire battle between (“…well I can’t front pimp, I got a gun like that too, they just shipped it in from Spain nigga, on the box it says ‘Big Fucking Gun’, it ain’t even got a name nigga!”) Mr. Mills and (“50 nigga’s outside waiting for Mills like a soup kitchen!”) Danny Myers sees the two use some crazy schemes, dope set-ups, potent gun bars, comedic wit and fiending punchlines to split the first couple of rounds. 3rd round however is a different story as Danny’s continued prowess for spitfire punches at a rapidly consistent pace easily beats a solid, but slightly pontificating and not nearly as strong a turn from Mills.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “You was never known for being on the corner, you a cul-de-sac!”
Recap: In this one-rounder from GO-Rilla Warfare and Black Ice Cartel, you can tally up Midwest Miles’ witty (“If a bitch say she had DNA inside her, then she was raped!”) personals and it still won’t make up for too many pedestrian raps as well as DNA’s more versatile round of room-shaking (“You, Cal and X, when’s the last time y’all 3 won 3 [313]?!”) punchlines, banging freestyles and fierce personals/gun bars.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “I could respect a nigga losing to Tech-9 off performance, but you lost to him lyrically!”
Recap: Rex probably got the line of the night, but in front of his hometown fans Hitman put on a better show combining hard hitting (“This battle can go from legendary to legend buried!”) bars with personals, more creativity and another dope performance. For a one-rounder, still a close and pretty good battle.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T-Rex -“I hold my gun more than I hold my son”
Synopsis: Dope battle. But the optics here–from way too much daps between the rappers to the overkill on crowd reactions (esp. on Lush One’s part)–definitely lessens the replay value. That said, while I doubt you’ll ever see a more animated, funny (“I’ll rip up your daughters spelling test and that’s the one she got ’em all right”) and consistently nice Danny Myers, it still wasn’t enough for Rum Nitty’s more consistent punches (“I don’t care what language he speak cuz’ after we meet i bet he pronounced dead”), personals, wordplay (“If your bitch owe me money, fuckin’ right I’ll be on the ho, hop out the car son (Carson) and open palm her (Palmer) like a Cardinal”) and haymakers (“One in the right, one in the left hand, two techs nigga, they both sing with a lisp, so they do wet (duet) niggas”, esp. in round 3, where after 2 rounds that could’ve went either way, Nitty edges it in the end.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Best line: Danny Myers – “I’ll cut you in so many pieces your funeral will be on a conveyor belt!”
Recap: Charlie Clips gets an easy paycheck, showing up with one written round (which includes a hilarious comedy skit featuring oranges…yes, oranges) while taking full advantage of his freestyle game to get the win in this clear mismatch against the nonsensical “Gay Goodz” from the UK.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “Yunno what let’s not make this debatable, I’m trying to show y’all that I been a vet, you’ll get naked, toss salad, then get to dressing…you Vinaigrette!”
Recap: Liked the way Erie Ave Marz was able to go right into some backup bars when he found himself slipping up with his written’s during the latter half of his turn. But one too many indirect punches by Marz and an Eazy The Block Captain delivering a steely display of fiery punchlines, some solid wordplay and feisty schemes gives the Norristown, PA, native the win in this 1-rounder from Traphouse Battle Leegue.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Take your daughter and drown her in natural water, give her that Fiji!”
Recap: Never lacking for confidence all the while overwhelming his opponent with a boatload of mocking personals, gritty punchlines, witty barbs and potent schemes, in this 3-rounder from KOTD, Caustic makes going past the time limit a non-factor, easily beating back a mostly pedestrian Cortez in each round to score a 3-0.
Verdict: Caustic (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Caustic – “What does it say about you as a man when a bitch named Medusa can’t get your dick hard?!”
Recap: Dope 1-rounder from ENJ Battle Grounds sees SammyWild100s deliver a variety of raucous punches that lit up the scoreboard with increased intensity. But after opening his round with a fly rebuttal, a more condensed Real Deal goes on to dish a gang of consistent hard-hitting punchlines, potent personals and witty zingers to edge the vic.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “I’m not hating on you Sammy, I’m trying to see you make it, I hope your fat ass gets a foot in the door before diabetes takes it!”
Recap: There’s overkill and then there’s this battle between Dizaster and the UK’s Unanymous, a testament to rap proficiency, but also a testament to the need for time limits in battles, especially during a 3rd round that went on way too long. Still, a competitive showing from both battlers, who with similar rap styles, a seeming dislike for one another, a love for multi-syllabic schemes, boastful darts, fiery personals, witty jokes and in Dizaster’s case, a need to flex and nearly fight both his opponent and some dude in the crowd, certainly kept things entertaining. That said, the battle itself was an easy one to judge with Diz getting out-punched in the 2nd round, but taking the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “Fuck Unan’, he said some shit about a prayer mat, and now he’s gonna fucking hit her bareback, right?, but your mother blaze crack, you know why I would say that?, cause she’s the only person on Earth that’s ever found the needle in the haystack!”
Recap: South Jersey vs. North Jersey in this two-rounder from Block City featuring Shotgun Suge against Lotta Zay. Both went in, each bringing consistent heat, jokes and aggression, but Suge gets both rounds here with a better performance (“Fat nigga kick him all in his shit like Rikishi” with the legkick) bars, grittier wordplay and nicer punchlines.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “But you be acting like you wild or somethin’, nigga where you from the corner store like a mile or somethin'”
Recap: Hey, I’m never one to kick a man while he down, but considering what’s at stake Proving Gorunds has gotsa be the worst place to pull a choke…not once, but twice no less. Smh.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 3-0
Favorite line: prez mafia -“I got these flows down to a Tee, bars over everything, put the shine in the left hand and watch it wedding ring [wet-n-ring]”
Synopsis: I think Chilla said it best here: “I don’t waste lines”. While the underrated YK brought it with typical energy and performance behind his gritty bars (“[This] the lame boyfriend versus the side nigga who’s smashing two”). Where YK fails is his lack of ingenuity. For example, that “I just spelled your name out and you ain’t even know it” scheme, while nice, has been done before…by Chilla. Plus there was a little too much filler in between his best bars (esp. not good for a one-rounder, just ask Goodz who kills one-rounders). Also, some of his lines were nonsensical (that “Ginobili…free throw” diss was ass-backwards when you consider the facts) and his best line of the night might’ve been towards a guy he wasn’t battling: “I never got robbed in my own hood, I ain’t Cortez” (although that “You tell niggas to hold on to your words, then you drop the ball” and “Your hairline should have a nickname, LeHitman James” jokes were too funny). Then too the irony here is that not only does Chilla Jones do schemes better than YK, but the only reason he gets called “boring” by his peers and some battle rap fans is because too many of his bars go over their heads (talk about needing the rewind button) upon first listening.
So forget the biased home crowd as Chilla gets the win here, immediately addressing YK on his style disses (“I rap depressing and lack aggression, right? It’s simple, well my niggas will put a hole in your face, I tell them pull (dimple)”), adding a dope car scheme in the middle and finishing YK off with a “sex offender” scheme that even had his opponent nodding his head in agreement. Condensed bars, less filler, better personals together with killer wordplay throughout….it’s Jones all day.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 1-0
Best line: Chilla Jones – “Lemme ask you, who demand a kill and think Kannon will? Well please don’t, cuz he wont but I can n’ will, I’m a fire at his tire, let a clip hit Kannon wheel, somebody write Kannon will, then when he die in debt, his daughter will owe (Willow) like Kannon will (Will))”
Synopsis: In front of a gassed, but supportive crowd UK’s Dialect drops some memorable bars, punches (“You are not a nigga’!”), jokes, crowd pleasers and a Biggie/Pac scheme that was clearly winning. But as you’d expect, Cortez’s name flips, personals, “plane” scheme and wordplay made it a close battle. Give it to Dialect if only for displaying better consistency as Cortez’s two slip ups and failed rebuttal ended up doing him in.
Verdict: Dialect (W) 2-1
Best line: Cortez – “”I can body son with this Tommy gun so I keep it calm, [but] if that barrel poking out the window it’s a peeping Tom”
Recap: In this one-rounder from ENJ Battle Grounds, Steams struggles with his flow at times but is still able to dish some fire (“You might win a round, if that, don’t get Conceited, I’m known to hold more Ill rounds than Smack!”) wordplay…but in between a lot of mediocre average bars that failed to land. On the other side, a way more consistent Cream wastes no time shredding his opponent with steadily nice (“I hold weight on my block, I make everybody in the street go off, yeah you work for Housing, but won’t be no fixing shit if this [makes like he has gun] heat go off!:) punchlines and spirited name flips that combined to give him the win/
Verdict: Cream (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Cream – “I’m glad you rep Crip when you rapping and talking, at least you know it’s gonna take 6 nigga’s to carry your coffin!”
Recap: As usual Charlie Clips is nice (not counting letting Ill rattle him in the 2nd round) with his, delivering three vigorous rounds of heat on an able (that “fart around” line was horrible), but clearly not at his best Yung Ill. Still, I’d much rather see Yung Ill healthy and able to spit 3 clear rounds than see him look bad and choke as we’ve seen in the recent past.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “See I show the world we got different skills, see the difference is you throw-up, I’m Precious on her period, that’s a different ill”
Synopsis: Cortez has always been known for kicking that real, aggressive shit. But rightly guessing that guns bars will only get you so far , he’s done a good lately of building his resume with clever wordplay, better performances and some creative jokes. It’s no wonder he’s been reppin’ well of late, no matter the battle league. However, as well as Cortez represented on the road here in Chi-town, Big Kannon just put on a better show, especially with the bars (that “closed caption”–clothes, cap, shin–line hit hard). Then too, the “Ernesto” jokes were hilarious and even Cortez would have to give it up to a guy who battled him without using any Mexican lines. A dope battle nonetheless between two able competitors that deserved to go 3 rounds.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 1-0
Best line: Cortez – “Real nigga’s look at him and what they say? ‘he don’t bang chrome nigga’, but the bitches look at him and what they say?, ‘he a friend zone nigga’
Recap: In what was a pretty standard affair of boastful punches, raunchy/spicy personals, real rap talk, modest gun bars/mayhem and gritty 4-bar setups, Nu Jerzey Twork dishes enough consistent heat in the 1st and 3rd rounds to get the win over Cadillac Red during this 3-rounder from Square Circle Battle League.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “But you said you a weed man nigga, that’s what you popping in the street, you said you had them pounds and you was coppin’ them for cheap, so I was waiting for the lik, I be poppin’ for the weed, I’m like George of the Jungle how I watch out for the tree!”
For three rounds Mike P’s fiery schemes, witty personals and potent (“While you was prepping those gun lines soon and hitting me with rape quotes, I was stuck in Mt. Moon and didn’t have an escape route!”) jokes hit so hard that his Chi-town opponent is left with nothing in his tank but a wild sucker punch that I’m not sure even landed. Either way, Mike is now battling on Smack/URL as I write this, while his no-name opponent hasn’t been heard from since.
Verdict: Mike P (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Mike P – “I get busy when I’m on it, the ground shake, You? a Dre and Drizzy performance, you softer than pound cake!”
Synopsis: Charron puts on an epic show in front of his hometown fans, consistently delivering dope bars, punchlines, jokes, rebuttals and personals (“I’ll give this Crip metal like the Special Olympics”) to easily take out da Rebel. How mad was Arsonal (granted he had a dope 3rd) about receiving this loss? Not only does he snatch the purple bandana out of Charron’s hand when he pulled it out, but apparently later on he’d get back his senses, recognize how nice how nice his opponent was and invite the guy to battle on UW.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “He’s a true Blood…season one owner!”
Recap: 16 Bars Rap Battle League 1-rounder between Ish Mula and Piff stays close with a gang of solid, tough bars from both battlers. But a couple of nifty schemes in the latter half of his round edges this one to Piff.
Verdict: Piff (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Piff – “I’ll run in ya Full House and see how much ya Family Matters!”
Synopsis: Not too much to see here as while JJDD had better lines overall (esp. when he stuck to the name flips and schemes), he shot himself in the foot biting off himself in round 2 and pretty much giving JC the 3rd. Granted, this wasn’t your best JC either, but his overall consistency–sticking with JJDD’s penchant for stealing bars while dropping some dope personals in between–clearly gave him the W.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Best line: JC – “See, you thought we liked it because we was cool with a couple of cats, but the problem with you is we always hear lines back and even ‘Bron know you can’t cover that”
Recap: Besides a few reaches and some filler here and there, an altogether solid (“Man this is Norbez fault, why you tossed in this heat, well a shot will clear ya mind, while you walking the beat!”) turn by Ah di Boom. However, besides a debatable 1st round that was equal on the haymakers, this PG is all Mr. Wavy, consistently styling with a gang of animated bars, slick street talk, witty (“I’m something you nigga’s can’t see…tall Mexican!”) jokes and exquisite (“My lines popping, jaws been [Jordan’s] dropping…no, my lines crazy, like Jordan’s dropping!”) wordplay/punchlines, when this one hits the books it’ll show another win for BK.
Verdict: Mr. Wavy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mr. Wavy – “Bird nigga, I’ll spray y’all mouth, I zone a Cardinal…y’all probably like ‘Why he ain’t say Arizona Cardinal?’, you stupid nigga, ‘cuz I already took the A R out!”
Recap: JC against D Worx turns out to be a pretty one-sided affair as the latter’s multitude of subpar punches and for the most part failed attempts of humor over the course of 3 rounds makes this one a mismatch when compared to JC’s much more rigid punchlines, boastful shiners, fiery wordplay and flexing gun bars.
Verdict: JC (W) 3-0
Favorite line: JC – “So what you thought you was doing something?, lame stop, I aim pop, make your 15 minutes of fame stop and start your last breath on that same clock!”
Synopsis: Pass knows damn well that he didn’t beat no Hollow da Don (hell, his battle against Hollow is probably the main reason he shortened his name) when they battled a few years ago. But against DNA (way too much name flips, half of which just weren’t hitting) here he had enough variety with personals, punchlines and heavy bars galore to score da dub.
Verdict: Pass (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pass- “It’s apparent that you’re a parasite, it’s HIV in your DNA that’s why your first name is Eric, right [Wright]?”
Synopsis: A rare Real Deal slip-up in round 3 and Bigg K not letting his huge first round slip-ups unnerve him to the point of affecting his latter rounds, keeps K in the game (“This is revenge for every kid you ever failed in gym class, every suspension and detention they had to spend with your bitch ass!”) and gives him a victory. Then too, we’ve seen Real Deal come way better than this.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “I love to kill a fat mutherfucker, but hey your diabetes is that type 2”
Recap: In the famous words of Florida Evans: “Damn! Damn! Damn!” Dope battle. As much as JC came hard, hitting with disrespectful (“Besides Ms. Gracie always trying to throw me a fat bitch pussy, she just never told me it was you”) bars and mean (“Any beef, my niggas just roll up, stretch a nigga, it’s like Piublishing Clearing House, we just showed up, checking niggas”) punchlines, Charlie Clips took him to school, breaking down JC’s authenticity (“But you can’t kill a nigga and then pop lock….”), hitting on scheme after scheme, tossing in a couple of nice rebuttals, executing potent bars with superb delivery and dropping haymakers with the ease of waking up in the morning. Clips all day.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “My shit hit niggas and bitches, my pump co-ed!”
Synopsis: Mr. Wavy is not only a problem, but a clown (” But fuck it, I’m feenin’ for ya’ seat, I’m like an Asian on the train”) as well. Really. Granted Kidrock Dollaz gave him some comp. (esp. in a debatable round 2), but other than that this wasn’t really close as Wavy’s consistently superb bars, schemes, jokes and overall performance easily gave him rounds 1 and 3.
Verdict: Mr. Wavy (W) 2-1
Best line: Mr. Wavy – “That’s ya man? Well just know I’m wilding on him, that’s ya man? (‘a hundred grand’), so why the fuck you ain’t throw in the towel for him?”
Recap: Subpar battle, which is not a surprise considering how much Luciano Crakk needs to work on his delivery and wordplay and how much Blackheart Adonis needs to humble himself and wake up to the fact that many of his bars are not as nice as he seems to think they all are. That said, with so many weak (Luciano stumbles while attempting to diss BA for supposedly choking twice in round 2) angles, lame (BA: “Dot his head like a Gandhi”) bars. forced wordplay and nonsensical rhymes, it’s almost like a default calling a win here, but based on performance, jokes, rebuttals and execution, the edge here goes to Blackheart.
Verdict: Luciano Crakk (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Blackheart Adonis – “My .38 spin and kick mid-battle like Dumbfounded”
Synopsis: Very good battle. Both JJDD and The Saurus represented well with a chock full of bars, jokes, personals and nice name flips. But even though John John (whose been talking about taking down legends on Twitter recently) practically gave away the 3rd round, I thought he dropped better consistent lines and subpar schemes in rounds 1 and 2 to edge the win.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1
Best line: JJDD – “Why am I giving you the shot if you the vet?”
Recap: M. Ciddy has never minded going first, attempting to get ahead early with his aggressive wordplay and stay there. Here he does exactly that, using “adversary rhymes” and nice punchlines to shake down Mark Miner and practically never letting up. Miner makes it close with rapid name flips, jokes and gutter (“I’ll slice you across your beer belly and give you a red stripe”) bars. But Ciddy’s 3rd, from reminding attendees of his mark in the game to delivering fiery personals to spitting witty metaphors, edges him a win here.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “You get numbers from nobody, you Mike in The Wood”
Recap: “Go and tell coach you can’t play with me!” Up against some hard bars within a round you thought was never gonna end, GE puts together a benevolent round of rebuttals, “That shit go together” schemes and heavy (“Bring these magazines to the front door, make you the subscriber”) wordplay/punchlines to cop this one-rounder.
Verdict: GE (W) 1-0
Favorite line: GE – “Niggas buy drinks when you rap, ‘cuz you ain’t the one they wanted to hear”
Recap: Considering how long he’s been around you’d think a veteran like PH would know better than to underestimate a quality opponent like M. Ciddy. Or maybe that “If he wins I’ll retire” line at the beginning of this battle was just a joke…yeah, that’s it. Anyway, displaying how a little research can go a long way against an opponent during a battle match, Ciddy breaks down PH’s whole rap/battle career, disrespectfully refers to him by his old moniker and adds rudimentary (“My bars die Namek [dynamic] like Piccolo’s death”) bars on top to show his mettle, much less prove in this battle rap game that he’s not to be played with. PH used some crazy name flips, heavy (“If Jay-Z were to witness my writtens, he’d pop a Molly stop rocking Tom Fords”) bars and personals to edge the 3rd round, but by then it was too late.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “Hell, you 40 on Cam like the Diplomats”
Synopsis: Hey, props to Dece for showing older heads that if you still think you can put in that work, don’t let anybody tell you not to get in that ring. However, no matter how old you are, too much filler combined with average bars and a lack of versatility just won’t make it in today’s rap battle world.
Verdict: Young X (W) 3-0
Synopsis: Young X – “If my granddaddy was alive I bet he’d say, this that same clown he battled in the parking lot when he went to see James Brown”
Recap: With so many artists wanting to try their hand at battle rap these days, it’s funny how this one-round matchup between Mickey Factz and Danja Zone gets slept on. Factz came off a little rusty with a couple of bars here and there that clearly could’ve been tweaked/updated, but for the most part he did pretty well esp. considering how he hadn’t battled in like 7 years (tight stage presence/performance too, but that’s to be expected from any artists used to hitting the stage regularly). And while Danja Zone hit with some nice bars and (“Album called The Achievement but ain’t accomplish shit, what the fuck you handing out, blank discs?”) personals, esp. towards the end, too many stretched out schemes and filler through out his round did him in against Factz’ hard-hitting bars, personals and punches.
Verdict: Mickey Factz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Mickey Factz – “My ‘Paradise’ video?, two million views, yours total? don’t make up that equation, you just bringing my numbers down, fans gonna think we in the Matrix”
Synopsis: KG The Poet might want to think about drinking some water while he spits his bars because his adrenaline is so high, it might be causing his fumbles. That said, if it wasn’t for the 2nd round, where Sno had just enough to make it debatable (along with a couple of light slip-ups by KG), this would’ve been a body–that’s just how dominate KG was in rounds 1 and 3.
Verdict: KG The Poet (W) 2-1
Favorite line: KG The Poet – “That Clint Eastwood .44 blow holes in you like an open gash, it’s like a carat, so if you raising eyes, I’ll put that long nose to his face like a snowman’s supposed to have”
Synopsis: Funny how they still biting Math (“Bars!”), but anyway after an average round one, B-Magic just get ham in round 2 (“Bullets come out St. John like Ron Artest”) and 3 with personals, (“Where Charlie at? Boy I’m slaying your little sister”), punchlines, aggression, performance and bars galore. DNA provided plenty of comp with some nice freestyles and schemes, but wasn’t nearly consistent enough to stand a chance.
Verdict: B-Magic (W) 2-1
Best line: B-Magic – “Reload the clip so many times you think it’s Bufferin”
Synopsis: Despite a couple of slip-ups in two different rounds, Law not only gets this one for dropping more punchlines overall then his opponent, but also because of the huge amount of filler Real Talk was spitting during rounds 1 and 3.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1
Favorite line: “Tell ya’ people I’ll bury at least one or two, I’ll centipede them, they’ll be twenty feet under you”
Synopsis: Roc all day. Ill Will is a dope up-n-comer, aggressive, bars, ability to rebut, do personals and make turn basic lines into memorable bars. But Roc’s a vet at this, with all the ingredients necessary to take on any comer. Plus, he’s been on such a tear lately that anyone could make a legit debate that he deserves Top 5 status. So with two similar styles (and undeniable tension), this made for a dope battle and for the most part it was. After a first round that you could edge to Will for the “banana clip” bar alone, Roc came through with a classic 2nd (“if we argue in the middle of ‘talking’ you get a ‘k'”, “head shots, he won’t remember a round, I’ll Yung Ill Will”) that put an end to any momentum Will built via his first. On the flip side Will clearly got a visit from Earl early in his 2nd (tho partly making up for it with the Lux diss was funny) and his 3rd, while alright, didn’t register much of a buzz (and really dissing Don DeMarco was lame). Meanwhile, Roc stayed consistent and aggressive throughout, which left the crowd hyped–to think Roc’s confidence has reached the point where he could even throw in a Charlie Clips diss. Bars over names indeed.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Best line: Tay Roc – “Niggaz die, I don’t change shit when I’m strapped on ’em, gun bar after gun bar ‘cuz I’m strapped on ’em, when I clap on ’em, it’s a wrap on ’em, since he from Yaktown, I’ll have his town pouring out gats on ’em”
Recap: How Hollow said it vs. Big T?: ‘Cause how you gon’ battle me with a style that I made up?!’ Yeah, in spite of a lackluster 2nd round by QP that helped Cali Smoov edge that round, why Cali (who when his punch & wit game are on point, can compete against almost anyone) thought going into this battle he could get away with a lame Conceited impression and on top of that try to outdo his opponent’s unique, drawn-out, wordplay-heavy style that QP and his SONS crew created is beyond me and probably any other serious battle head who watched this battle. Good thing QP (who despite his immense talent can sometimes seem disinterested in battling) had enough gumption to own his shit, take the 1st and 3rd rounds and get the win here.
Verdict: QP (W) 2-1
Favorite line: QP – “Your performance?, VMA award show, that untimely crisis, ‘cuz your performance is flat but [butt]…you ain’t Miley Cyrus!”
Recap: From MeleeTV, Viixen The Assassin uses a gang of scathing personals, piercing punchlines, boastful barbs and persistent mayhem to take the first couple of rounds for the win over a raucous and punch-heavy at times, but couldn’t put it all together till the 3rd Morawsha.
Verdict: Viixen The Assassin (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Viixen The Assassin – “A thug from Kansas? that shit sound odd, the only bitch from Kansas I know is Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz!”
Recap: Hard to go against Steams again, as he always represents with the passion, delivery and the (“You can’t replace hot bars with…A…C…not even some of the time”) bars. But some of his schemes take too long to hit while not quite meeting his energy. Then too, as is the case here, sometimes his opponent just ups the ante and puts on a better show. But while Brooklyn Carter stayed in beastmode throughout, too many of bars could’ve been used against anybody and if you listen closely, there were definitely some line flips and filler. Bar wise I give it to Carter, but creativity and originality I give it to Steams. You can make a good case for either guy tho.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “If I put that 5 on your back….[burps] I’m not trying to burp you!”
Synopsis: Ah Di Boom steps it up amd straight spazzes in the 3rd round to take what was up to then a close battle against the fierce and up-n-coming Merrick City.
Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ah Di Boom – “Battle rap I’m the muthafuckin’ boss in it, head shot, but the bullet got lost in it”
Recap: “That shit go together!”, unlike Goodz I don’t mind slogans, it’s all a part of building your brand and ain’t nothing wrong with that. That said, bar-wise this one was close, some might run with Logic on authenticity and reality, but even in person you never underestimate the small guy. So based on overall bars, creativity, schemes and performance I got Logic (who surprisingly stayed away from name flips) edging the 1st round and GE edging the latter two.
Verdict: GE (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Logic – “That clip from the lead will snatch that bitch out the bed like the Conjuring”
Recap: Not too far off his disappointing URL appearance, a frenetic and out-of-control Dizaster takes his frustration out on Aye Verb (who pretty much gave Diz the 2nd round) with multisyllabic wordplay, speed raps, s-curl personals and a whole lot of performance bars to gain a dub here.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “My uncles are stock brokers, your uncles are broke stockers”
Recap: “If I’m lying I’m flying”, “And don’t try to be a hero cuz’ in the ghetto that’s a sandwich”, “Rob ya for own whip then park it”….LOL!!! Juno may want to update his bars. This was funny tho.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 1-0
Favorite line: prez mafia – “I’m in ya house party, wild sex, clits poppin and the shit hotter than Bilal’s breath”
Recap: The always competitive, gun-ready (“Sound like I started up a jackhammer when that gauge clappin, one shot leave ya with your head spinning or ya face planted, I let clips flare, so when miles get to popping that B-boy, it ain’t break-dancing!”) Rum Nitty runs into the unique and witty styling’s of (“When squeezing llama’s, bullets eat you like 3 piranha’s, .38 snub, gee I promise, the nose short like Pinocchio being honest!”; “I’m the type to get drunk, start fights at Hooter’s, I will fight every nigger here…like Riley Cooper!”) Young B (RIP) for a punch-terrific and at times hilarious matchup that’s only differentiated point-wise by Young B’s elongated rounds 2 and 3, leaving a just as hype, but more condensed Nitty with the ability to edge each of the latter two rounds for the win.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Don’t gas him up, you’ll get the chokehold for sleep, and that’s just for acting up, you a bitch, a homo, a geek, I’ll let it click and drop a whole row of sweet nigger’s like Candy Crush!”
Recap: Good battle. Like Cash said “two hood niggas with bars” and they both brought the heat, making for a competitive battle throughout. I got Cash edging the first two rounds tho, stepping up on the wordplay, but also adding a more lucid performance, some nice name flips, jokes and even some hometown personals (“Indiana ain’t been shit since Reggie retired”) that got one chick in the crowd extra tight.
Verdict: Cash Eatin (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Gram$ – “Clutch and pull with extended fire, clip drawn from the biggest iron, man that bitch long like Brittney Griner”
