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O-Red defeats Big T

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Recap: Sluggish battle between Big T and O-Red had the crowd and ring card girls flustered and rightfully so, what with O-Red spitting random bars at other battle rappers and using the same cookie props for jokes here that he used before against Big Kannon. While Big T lifted plenty of what was left of his sound schemes against K-Shine and relied on way too many name flips throughout the battle. Ironically, with most of the action taking place in the 1st (the edge there going to O-Red for dropping more hitting bars within his time frame than Big T) and 3rd (clearly a win for Big T) rounds, turns out that the most lethargic round, the 2nd, would be the difference-maker. And with Big T practically giving it up with some just ok bars within an abbreviated round, Red easily took it with his more potent punchlines.

Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1

Favorite line: O-Red – “You the cheapest drink in McDonald’s, that means you Sweet T [tea]”

100 Bulletz defeats JC

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Recap: 100 Bulletz takes advantage of a seemingly uninspired JC, whose shortened rounds weren’t helped by plenty of lackluster punchlines during his rounds. That’s not to take anything anyway from Bulletz, who despite a few predictable finisher’s here and there, especially within a superb 2nd round, overall made potent use of his punches, stinging (“I bet they still bring you crayons at Applebee’s!”) personals and wordplay to pull off the 30.

Verdict: 100 Bulletz (W) 3-0

Favorite line: 100 Bulletz – “I said little man bars are something you gotta deal with, so no matter how far you go to battle, it’s still technically a field trip!”

K-Shine and Math Hoffa [TIE]

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Recap: MC War 2-round battle over beats between Math Hoffa (“About to see I get Shine boxed like little Tommy in Goodfellas!”) and K-Shine is a goodie as both emcees go in, lacing a piercing beat with boastful barbs, spicy punchlines and rugged personals. Always intriguing to see a battle rapper rhyme over a beat, with an equal amount of consistency with the bars, cadence with the beat and rich content, we give both rounds a draw, making the battle itself a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: K-Shine – “It’s like a nigga saying goodbye, when that Larkin clap, as soon as a nigga peace [piece] out, it go in Hoffa back!”

Cortez defeats Tycoon Tax

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Recap: Definitely not Cortez at his best, but enough adequate wordplay and hitting name flips versus way too many basic bars, a weak/nonsensical (“Que” = ‘K’?!?) Spanish scheme and bad sportsmanship from Tycoon Tax handed this one to Tez easy.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Cortez – “You’ve been privileged…all your life, that’s a Luxury Tax”

Chess defeats Rock Boy Rone

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Recap: How lethal is this one round bodybag? You could turn off the sound and peep the reactions from the crowd alone just to tell who won. Still, Chess’ incredible wordplay, backward alphabet scheme and fierce name flips against a clearly over-matched Rock Boy Rone are worth a looksie.

Verdict: Chess –

Favorite line: Chess – “I’ll put two on the side of your top like a square root!”

Spee Dolla defeats Danja Zone

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Recap: Neither Danja Zone or Spee Dolla impress much in this Block City matchup. But thanks to more variety as well as some ill (“How the fuck are you supposed to control streets, when it’s probably hard for you stand on your own feet?”) personals from Spee along with Danja’s mostly elongated schemes and righteous filler in rounds 1 and 2, it’s Spee who manages to hang on for the win.

Verdict: Spee Dolla (W) 2-1

Favorite line:  Spee Dolla – “We only aim for the head when we drive up, and leave one side hanging like a bobcut!”

O’fficial defeats Lexx Banko

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Recap: Another emcee in a long line of battle rappers who’ve taken advantage of O’fficial’s large chest size to pounce on her with some dicey personals, Lexx Banko also uses a pretty solid barfest of raucous heat, persistent mayhem and boastful barbs to keep things competitive in this 3-rounder from QOTR. But the New Orleans rapper, flexing throughout the bout with a gang of stinging wordplay, piercing punchlines, hard-hitting personals and dope 4-bar setups does enough damage to take the first two rounds (a spicier Banko took the 3rd) for the win.

Verdict: O’fficial (W) 2-1

Favorite line: O’fficial – “Holding your girlfriend is the only time you squeezing ratchets!”

Ha Double defeats Anubis

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Recap: Another good battle from the Proving Grounds featuring Ha Double and Anubis in a total barfest with schemes and wordplay galore on both sides. Tho he seemed to run out of steam towards the end, overall Ha Double displayed more consistency (esp. in round 2 which he clearly won) to take it in the end.

Verdict: Ha Double (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Anubis – “Silencer, got that 9 quiet but the tech will scream, I missed the first shot fuck it I got LeBron heat, take off his headband with the second ring”

Cortez defeats K-Kendle

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Synopsis: K-Kendle had some bars and only stumbled briefly so give him props for showing up. But against a confident vet like Cortez, you need more than the occasional bar to even stand a chance. In other words, what with bars for days, schemes, crowd pleasers, personals and a top tier performance that matches his experience, this was an easy one for the kid from Brooklyn.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0

Best line: Cortez – “I’ma ask y’all what blocks is he running?, which street set you step with?, you don’t never get around your block, you a set pick”

Presidential Dubz defeats Foreplae

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Recap: In this main event, one-rounder from We Go Hard, Presidential Dubz raps almost twice as long as his opponent and despite the beginning wardrobe change and (“I turn up, shit get fucked up…I’m George Bush!”) history lesson, wasn’t really on his A-game. Still, Dubz had more than enough spitfire heat and back-to-back punches to beat what was a pretty pedestrian turn by Foreplae.

Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “Fighting? I’m too consistent, I promise my hand will give your shit a ring like new commitment!”

Jaz the Rapper defeats Ms. Hustle

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Recap: A little flat on delivery at times, overmatched on size and having to deal with nonsense like Ms. Hustle turning her back on her as well as Phara Funeralz attempting to steal the show, Jaz the Rapper still does this, taking on Ms. Hustle for mystical title of “Queen of URL” and winning with intelligent schemes, witty (“We was cool, I got hot, so we ain’t no more”) punchlines and hot bars. Granted, Ms. Hustle had her moments (“You dance around the punch, that’s prom night”), but after a sizzling first round it soon became clear that Hustle wouldn’t be able to keep up with Jaz’s truth serum and repeated (“When you think of Jaz you think of music, the team, even Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, when you think of Eboni you think of Pornhub, black bitches getting fucked in they ass”) haymakers (tho flipping that “With the Beats” scheme Ms. Fit used on her during their battle was funny to watch here).

Verdict: Jaz the Rapper (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Jaz the Rapper – “You not Ms. Hustle, you Ms. Struggle!”

Eazy The Block Captain defeats Remedy Loco

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Recap: Fire 3rd round here from Remedy Loco, but other than that a couple of lazy rounds by the Brooklyn spitter and a flashy gun bar-flexing and boastful punchline-slinging Eazy The Block Captain does more than enough in the opening rounds to get the win in this 3-rounder from Philly Coalition Battle Grounds.

Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Your bitch look like Unkasa…and I ain’t gonna lie, I hit it so everytime I go to Brooklyn I dodge her!”

Rone defeats Real Deal

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Synopsis: As expected, a really good battle between two fierce competitors who both happen to be from PA. But after splitting the first two rounds, Rone clearly took the 3rd with over-the-top bars and personals, while Real Deal took half the round off to address his issues with Smack/URL (yes, he does deserve another shot on the URL stage, esp. after his sublime win over B-Magic, but that would’ve been better suited for a blog, not a battle).

Verdict: Rone (W) 2-1

Best line: Rone – “You’re not racist to the point that you’d start a Klan army, but you’d buy your daughter a dildo before you’d buy her a black barbie”

40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats Bonnie Godiva

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Recap: From QOTR, Bonnie Godiva makes for a pretty solid, punch-lit, gritty and personal-savvy effort here in this 3-rounder. But one too many light moments from Ms. Godiva (as well as choosing to not go harder when it came to personals) to go along with a 40 B.A.R.R.S. on her spicy and multifaceted A-game when it came to brunt lyricism, rigid name flips, fiery schemes, dope wordplay, well-aimed personals and fire schemes/punches (esp. during a spitfire 2nd round), gives the Boston battler a clear 30.

Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 3-0

Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “When your fans say dumb shit, I feel like harming them, yeah we sound similar, but we different bro, we homonyms!”

Eazy The Block Captain defeats Wu

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Recap: The final score here doesn’t reflect what was essentially a one-sided affair as Eazy The Block Captain’s gang of gritty punchlines and boastful barbs easily beat back an aggressive, but mostly pedestrian-punching and opponent’s beard obsessed Wu, who only took a round here due to a choke from Eazy in the 2nd.

Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Flow dope, take you on this ride like a theme park!”

Illanoiz defeats Piranha

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Recap: Detroit’s Piranha (I have no idea what was up with all the nose scratching, but it sure was distracting) had some occasional hot bars, but it wasn’t nearly enough to keep up with Illanoiz’s wicked punchlines, schemes and name allegories in this PG battle from URL.

Verdict: Illanoiz (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Illanoiz – “Act bananas and get your apple cracked, ‘cuz some niggas don’t learn till you put one under their cap, that’s a Snapple fact”

Daylyt defeats Loe Pesci

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Recap: Grimy antics aside (this battle is noted for Daylyt putting his hands down his pants, scratching his balls and putting his finger in Loe Pesci’s face. amongst other tomfoolery that Daylyt deemed necessary because Pesci was allegedly acting racist to him online before the battle), wordplay wise (“He say he slangs drugs?, you wouldn’t see him holding a big rock if he was a cave thug”) Daylyt does just enough in rounds 1 and 3 to edge each one and get the win over an opponent whose better lines clearly got gassed by the biased crowd.

Verdict: Daylyt (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Daylyt – “I’m just a head [ahead] with the flow, that’s a DDT”

T Top defeats Dubby Dub

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Recap: In full blast mode following a really nice (“It’s a brick in every house on my block, that’s a chicken strip”) round by St. Louis spitter Dubby Dub, T Top literally goes in with what he knows best: gritty street talk and unfettered (“You smokin’, you don’t know ’bout cooking weight by the ounce, walk in the crib, smell like you painting a house!”) drug game in addition to a couple of (“I might have you battling Chilla, that mean I scheme for a while just to cap him with filler”) haymakers to take this fiery one-rounder brought to you by Spit Dat Heat.

Verdict: T Top (W) 1-0

Favorite line:  T Top – “I’mma crack cutter, I be trying to get shake right, like a frat brother”

Chayna Ashley defeats Gattas

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Recap: Definitely not a classic, but still a pretty solid, bar/scheme-fest here between Chayna Ashley and Gattas in the QOTR ring. The ever-aggressive Gattas, loaded with barrels of humor, some stinging personals and loads of lyrical stunting, made her presence felt and kept things competitive throughout the bout. Ms. Ashley, strutting hard like a grown ass woman throughout the battle, without a care in the world for the usual parade of personals used against her while spouting a gang of fierce schemes, wily boasts/personals, hardbody punchlines and even slipping in a bit of wit with a 3rd round wig prop, came ready from jump. However, with Chayna coming versatile with the heat while humble enough to address what many might say is her lone fault (choking) and putting together in an exquisite 2nd round, after a debatable 1st and assisted by a steady barking, but less substantive Gattas, a more consistently stealth and punch-heavy Ashley takes the latter two rounds for the win.

Verdict: Chayna Ashley (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chayna Ashley -“Yeah, this shit gonna get ugly, I’m talking O-Red on the wake up, Big T when he hungry, Arsonal without a shape-up!”

S-Kapone defeats Brizz Rawsteen

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Recap: Well prepared with a barrage of heavy punches/personals and a surrounding theme on his opponent’s performance-centric raps being a little too extra at times, S-Kapone manages to edge a couple of early elongated rounds by Brizz Rawsteen, whose mostly animated raps weren’t always matched in potency by his bars.

Verdict: S-Kapone (W) 2-1

Favorite line: S-Kapone – “Nigga, I been round, liek in a treehouse with no ladder, you don’t know how I [I’ll] get down!”

Charlie Clips defeats Hollohan

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Synopsis: Clips (FYI: Nova Scotis is not a “city” but a province) gets his race card on and throws in a mix of fervent schemes with spirited jokes to beat an able, but long-winded and way-too-much-filler having Hollohan.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1

Best line: Charlie Clips – “I’ll knock the juice out your fucking lemon, put the metal on the lid of ya hype man, the silencer make it go [makes sound], you don’t know if I’m shooting or trying to open a Sprite can”

T-Rex defeats Calicoe

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Recap: As T-Rex succinctly put it at the beginning of his round 2: “They said the person that wins this battle is the person that’s gonna have the street crowd”. Gun bars, street cred, hustling semantics, Harlem vs. Detroit and some pointed personals were the themes of this battle between Rex and Calicoe, who returned to the URL stage for the first time since his epic loss to Loaded Lux the previous year. For the first couple of rounds, both battlers came with the energy and lived up their rep. A confident Rex shined with some wicked punchlines, heated firearm (“When that mac spraying, you know it’s gonna hit back hand and I’m shooting on the ground in case he act dead!”) gusto and nice performance bars. Despite a somewhat hostile crowd Calicoe (who deserves a knock for talking too much through Rex’s rounds) matched Rex with a couple of ill, versatile rounds, styling on Rex with some formidable (“Dot Mobb, a bunch of bitches, Moulin Rouge!”) personals, amiable wordplay and witty street (“You make death threats? he the type of nigga I give my address out to, like slide through!”) bars. So intense, entertaining and competitive were the first two rounds that you were bound for a letdown in round 3 and unfortunately that was the case. Still, while Rex kept his round short, he was still able to pack in enough hitting (“The drama I’m with it, show up to his funeral in the same clothes I had on when I did it!”) punches and personals to easily take the round (and the win) over Calicoe’s mostly lukewarm bars and righteous filler.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex – “I treat my block like a newborn ass, I’m putting powder on it!”

Young Gattas and Bonnie Godiva [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Dope, punchline-crazy 3-rounder from KOTD between Young Gattas and Bonnie Godiva stays competitive throughout with Bonnie matching Gattas with sublime haymakers and personals in round 1, before Gattas takes it up a notch with a even more superb 2nd round that displayed her moxie as one of the top tiers in the game and versatility with the bars. Behind a round going into the 3rd, Bonnie would have to go extra hard to beat another solid from Gattas and that she did with a witty at times, hardbody and (“Be a bitch and know your place before you get put like one, stupid, you was supposed to Think Like A Man, not look like one!”) personal-lit turn to edge the final round and call this one even.

Verdict: Debatable

Favorite line: Young Gattas – “What I’m saying is, we can’t compare lines, ‘cuz in every battle another nigger fight for you, fuck Bonnie, I wanna battle all the nigger’s that write for you!”

Ty Law defeats Ave

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Recap: Bad footage, distracting background noise, definitive crowd bias…it’s all there in this battle between Ty Law and Ave. Still, if you listen closely you’ll hear a competitive battle nonetheless, edged overall by Raw who despite lacking in performance at times, was slightly more consistent in his bars and able to land more punches in the first couple of rounds to earn the win.

Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ty Law –  “Who bars sell more, Ave’s or Ty’s? This nigga commercial!”

Danny Myers defeats Riggz

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Recap: Against a gun bar-heavy but also valiant Riggz, a more versatile and performance-heavy Danny Myers rings up enough sheer mayhem, blistering personals, solid wordplay and piercing schemes/punchlines to take the deciding 3rd round and win this competitive 3-rounder from Miltown Bloe.

Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Your unemployed bitch has a mean slob, she got a dick in each hand talking about she in between jobs!”

JC defeats Ceph Deezy

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Recap: Can’t front, after one round I thought JC was on his way to another bodybag here. But then Ceph Deezy really stepped it up on the bars, delivery and schemes in rounds 2 and 3 to make this a battle. However, overall JC just had more variety and nicer wordplay to edge it, but in the future don’t sleep on the kid from Indiana.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “Look at this, this a death stare, Brandi behind the wheel”

Casey Jay defeats Sevi

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Recap: From DFW Battle League, seems as if Sevi was a last-minute replacement for someone else Casey Jay was supposed to battle. So credit to him for staying in there and doing a solid job practically free-styling for all of his 3 rounds, all the while withstanding an onslaught of syrupy punchlines, piercing personals and stunted mayhem from Ms. Jay.

Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Casey Jay – “You taking this battle, it just proves you the bigger bitch, wanna battle a girl ‘cuz you ain’t ready for that nigger yet!”

Jay Rell defeats Danny Myers

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Recap: If Jay Rell wasn’t so cocky he’d easily become a more polished and complete battle rapper. After all the skills are there, but more often then not Rell gets in his own way by letting his emotions get the best of him…and in turn his performances during battles. However, here in this URL bout against Danny Myers, a focused Rell just dismantles his opponent, dishing sizzling personals with ease, styling on Danny’s street authenticity, cracking steady (“You look like the brother of Alvin, Simon and Theodore, you’ze the one they ain’t play with, you’ze was always on some gay shit, they trying to stack nuts for food, you trying to find to play with, gay shit!”) jokes and delivering haymakers like the Splash Brothers in the 4th quarter. Easily Rell at his finest and most consistent, now let’s see if going forward he can build on this.

Verdict: Jay Rell (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Jay Rell – “How the fuck y’all beef in sunny ass California?, ‘Meet me under the palm trees!'”

Eazy the Block Captain defeats M. Swagg

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Recap: Gritty and solid showing by M. Swagg in this 3-rounder from Traphouse Battle League, gets beat back by a more consistently spicy, name flip-lit, 4-bar setup nice and punchline/boastful-crazy Eazy the Block Captain in each round for the win.

Verdict: Eazy the Block Captain (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Eazy the Block Captain – “You got that Chinese store swag, yunno, your chicken lo mien [low man]!”

DNA defeats Charron

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Synopsis: “Smack rappers are bitches who can’t admit that they loss”….damn!!! There’s no denying how nice Charron is (that “masked up like MF doom” line was nice, as was “taking a picture with your sister was the only time I’ve seen you with a ratchet”), but too many angles on DNA that’ve been used to death and generic bars that could’ve been used against anybody combined with DNA’s personals (esp. the “loyalty” bars) and rebuttal (pocket checking back on his opponent, the Drect rebut, etc.) game being so on point, made me give DNA the first and 3rd rounds by a nose.

Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Charron – “Your bars are like your new tooth when its back, cause you need something false in your mouth just to bridge the gap”

Danny Myers defeats Mikey B

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Recap: Against the quick-lipped, but very basic raps of Mikey B, Danny Myers has an easy time of it, making excellent use of brazen white-boy-isms, gratuitous violence, fiery punchlines and earnest gun bars to handily win this 1-rounder from AHAT.

Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I confronted him, I was about to let the Tek blam his back, he was hold on Danny, some of my best friends are Black!”

Stampede defeats Diesel

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Recap: What Stampede may lack in bar efficiency, he sure does his to make up for it with performance, wit and some fiery schemes. And here, for two rounds anyway, against a slip-up prone and choking Diesel, a consistently flowing and confident Stampede gets a win that he probably wouldn’t have gotten had his opponent not had a case of fumble-itis.

Verdict: Stampede (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Stampede – “This .4, toe tag, shots will make metal’s split, you gonna have me grab that cannon [Canon], and flash on a couple, like I’m trying to take a wedding pic!”

K-Shine defeats Arsonal da Rebel

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Synopsis: Close call, but the edge here goes to K-Shine, partly due to overall better bars, schemes, the midget and IMO clearly winning round 3 (tho like him vs. Calicoe, he did O’D on the name flips). But then too, while Ars won round 1 handily, his clear disrespect of Shine (touching him several times and talking while he rapped throughout the battle) was wack for a vet and should lose him points on any card. Arsonal can do his disrespectful thing and put on a dope performance without breaking battle rap’s code of conduct. Plus, he knows damn well he wouldn’t have done that shit against certain other dudes. That being said, props to K-Shine for the win (esp. after the clear loss against Big T) and for literally being the bigger man on stage.

Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1

Best line: Arsonal – “You nothing but a Dot-mob flunkey, Rex never gonna promote you, Shine, what’s your first action when a terrorist approach you?, and I got the leverage to smoke you, these niggas hate seeing on they screen, you like the nigga in the Everest commercial”

J. Murda defeats Wolf

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Recap: Wolf, apparently on 3 days notice for this battle, came ready and dropped some cold (“I’m a thug, I hug streets, war with niggas that bust heat, so I knew what it was before Biggie told us ‘What’s Beef?'”) here and there. But too many average lines combined with J. Murda’s (when he wasn’t interrupted by the amateur host) constant barrage of performance bars, feelgood (“You better not get crazy bitch boy, unless you a ratchet dyke”) quips and fiery punchlines was too much to beat here.

Verdict: J. Murda (W) 1-0

Favorite line: J. Murda – “You getting bodied God, just tell them niggas the devil’s back [with] seven straps and enough ammo to go to with the men in black”

Arsonal defeats Dizaster

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Recap: Lengthy, but still entertaining with plenty of references to Drake throughout the battle, Dizaster versus Arsonal (a on the King of the Dot stage also contained a wide load of boastful darts/schemes, a mass amount of filler, spicy personals, redundant bars and fierce/aggressive punches. And while both battlers (despite neither quite being on their A-game) kept it competitive with displaying a seemingly mutual distaste for each other, a slightly more versatile Arsonal gets the win here, edging both the 1st and 3rd rounds in front of a cheering Canadian crowd that somehow stayed glued to this underwhelming battle from start to finish.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Arsonal – “Introduce myself, get acquainted with ya ex bitch, just to knock her walls down, I nicknamed her Tetris!”

Hitman Holla defeats Conceited

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Recap: A credit to Conceited and Hitman Holla’s popularity that a battle with one of the worst 3rd rounds in history could have over 5 million views. And to think, here we see a vet like Hitman literally giving up a round and trying to make up for it by rehashing some of his own standout lines from past battles followed up by a grandiose puncher like Conceited (who for some reason failed to insert more of his notorious ‘Slow It Down’ bar storms into his raps for this battle) delivering probably his weakest round ever in that same 3rd round?!? Not only was that torturous to watch, but if I was a paying customer I’d be a little upset with these two. That said, Hitman’s hard-flexing, witty, personal-heavy, name flip-spazzing and remix-snapping 1st edges a punchline-lit, but not as performance-heavy turn by Con in the 1st round, before Hitman also takes the 2nd with a more condensed turn that was also surprisingly punch-heavy at times and more consistently spicy then his opponent. Thanks in part to Hitman’s many shortcomings in the 3rd, even with a subpar turn of his own, a non-choking Con gets a final round that his opponent had already handed him.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla –  “You don’t really want that action, you worried about matching!”

Rosenberg Raw defeats Jimz

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Recap: No shortage of aggressive bars and trash talking here as Jimz and Rosenberg Raw go at it hearty, all the while clearly letting you know that they probably won’t be sending each other Christmas cards this year. Whatever with the tough talk tho, while Jimz repped heavy enough to make it close, his lack of creativity and wordplay eventually did him in, i.e, clearly not enough to keep up with Raw’s repeated punchlines and haymakers.

Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “I forgot we was battling, you spit that bum shit, you plainer than SunChips, your heart pumping Sunkist”

Serius Jones defeats Math Hoffa (DQ) [Rematch]

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Recap: Listen, Jones bringing out the twerking girls and distracting Math while he rapped was extra, dumb in its execution and totally unprofessional. But that sucker punch by Math was extra, extra dumb, super lame, left yet another bad mark on battle rap and whatever suspension he got from URL afterwards was well deserved (esp. after he went on the likes of Vlad TV to make excuses and laugh about it). All that aside, here’s a video of Jones spitting the 3 rounds he intended to spit after the battle was over as well as Math dishing one round of his. Since the battle ended right after the incident, we’ll only count the bars that actually took place.

Verdict: Serius Jones (W) 1-0 by DQ

Favorite line: Serius Jones – “Well, now you better Holla at a Hitman, ‘cuz when Jones out murkin’ I’ll kill everybody in this building just so we could have a no-crowd version!”

Pat Stay defeats Arcane

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Recap: With his chain on the line KOTD champion Arcane faces off with challenger Pat Stay for the title and the bout turns out to be as one-sided as a rap battle can get with Stay using fierce personals that included stinging lines on his opponent’s alleged pilfering of bars from another battle rapper in the past, witty schemes and a host of bodacious shiners, all the while commanding the stage, captivating the crowd and easily beating back Arcane’s pedestrian raps to become the new champ.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “His name is ‘Cane ‘cuz he don’t stand a chance on his own!”

Emerson Kennedy defeats Daylyt

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Recap: Utilizing each round to fit a different narrative, in this California versus Utah, 3-rounder from AHAT versus Daylyt, Emerson Kennedy proceeds from gritty punchlines to resident name flips to stinging set-ups, resident heat and personals. And although not quite on his A-game throughout the match, going up against a Batmobile-reclining opponent who came prepped with mostly generic, anecdotal shiners that were hit and miss, a more overall consistent EK does enough in the 1st and deciding 3rd round to gain the win.

Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy – “That nickle, make it silent, we call that? pleading the 5th and that bulldog will talk to him…Daylyt?, Peter Griffin!”

Ty Law defeats Sno

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Synopsis: While it might be politically correct to say Sno got this, I’m gonna go the other way and say that Ty Law clearly got the win here. Indeed, Sno’s 1st round (even with the fumble) was a classic, just on the “Marshall Law” scheme alone. But like many battle rappers who open with over-the-top 1st rounds: soon it becomes way too hard to stay on that top shelf for all 3 rounds. That fact alone was fortunate for Ty Law, who just by being himself and staying consistent throughout all 3 rounds, delivering dope bar after bar (“And yeah the best feature on ya’ baby mother is her mouth, her tongue is out I’m nuttin’ on the couch, right when Andy was at work, it’s like  she put Andy in reverse, that’s whY D-N-A coming out her mouth”) was able to take the latter 2 rounds and edge out the win.

Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1

Best line: Ty Law – “You crackers safe in the house like professional thief’s”

QB (Black Diamond) defeats Stargirl Ladyred

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Recap: The female version of Arsonal with her elongated rounds, disrespectful bars and aggressive delivery (but less filler), beating QB in a battle takes an enormous effort. And for two rounds Stargirl Ladyred almost pulls it off, matching QB’s ruthlessness with a plethora of ill (“By looking…I could tell you don’t keep up withcha hygiene, pussy-licking cottage cheese smelling like fried beans!”) bars, dope schemes and hitting personals. But in the 3rd QB whipped out her entire bag of tricks and came out with a classic, landing (“But you frail, when the last time you was in some beef?, you somebody son, I got a Scooby snack for you Scrappy since you the spitting image of Mama Dee”) haymakers, delivering rapid personals (to her opponent and Cortez) and getting extra nice on the wordplay to pull ahead and take the win in what was otherwise a really good battle.

Verdict: QB (W) 2-1

Favorite line: QB – “You ain’t built for the street life, why you trying to be hardcore?, just ‘cuz you look like Chewbacca doesn’t mean that Star Wars!”

Arsonal and Goodz [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: A couple of Lionz Den graduate’s, Goodz and Arsonal (“He still drinking that dark, he must ain’t seen what that Brown did till it got a hold of Whitney!”), take their skills to MC War stage, rhyming for two rounds over a beat before switching over for the final style to normal style, but with a microphone in hand. Definitely a goodie with a pair of captivating flows over a gritty beat that was backed by equally fierce punchlines, boastful darts, solid wordplay and blazing gun bars. In the end, we got Arsonal taking the 1st round before a punch-heavier Goodz edged the 2nd, while the last round was a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Goodz – “I hate bitch nigga’s, you the type get a ticket for an open container and snitch nigga!”

Young B defeats Danny Myers

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Recap: No “preference” here. If a joke hits it’s just as good as a dope bar. And while Young B (RIP) certainly wasn’t no Dave Chappelle, in this 3-rounder versus Danny Myers, B’s boatload of mocking personals and witty punchlines/barbs scored way more heavily over the course of the latter two rounds (even the 1st was debatable) than Danny’s redundant screeds of mayhem and boasts. It really wasn’t close.

Verdict: Young B (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Young B – “I’m surprised your rap name don’t got ‘Grand Master’ in the front!”

Showoff defeats Pep

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Recap: Both Pep and Showoff dish on the usual street semantics with a load of braggadocio lines and gun bars mixed in. However it’s Showoff, styling with some sick wordplay and flexing with some mean schemes, who stunts with more versatility to take this one-rounder.

Verdict: Showoff (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Showoff – “You gonna get that Special Ed helmet, that’s a strap to ya chin!”

Profecy defeats Supersick

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Recap: Some witty and gangster-riffic bars from Supersick are enough to edge round 2 and keep things entertaining. But a more slick-talking, consistent, rebuttal-dispening and punch-heavy Profecy owns the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win here on Voicebox Battles.

Verdict: Profecy (W) 2-1

Favorite line:  Profecy – “You must be kept on a short leash, I spend more money on Taste clothing than True spend on court fee’s!”

T-Rex defeats Dizaster

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Recap: Despite some scattered boo’s here and there, Dizaster’s first appearance on the URL stage is a solid one as the former KOTD champion’s arsenal of raucous darts, freestyle’s and witty rancor/personals kept things competitive throughout this long-awaited battle versus T-Rex. But a prepared Rex is a dangerous Rex and with the Harlem vet coming through with 3 original and hardbody turns containing often mind-blowing mayhem, stunted street theatrics, mocking personals and righteous gun bars/punchlines, outside of a couple of elongated rounds (that helped Diz score a debatable 1st), a more consistently spicy Rex is able to handily take the latter two rounds for the win.

Verdict: T-Rez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex – “This summer I make all them (Autumn) fall, my gun’s winter fresh Ruger cocked, move a notch, you’ll be shot, barrel on that .44 smokin’ like a hookah spot, I’ll with that steel, I could show y’all how to use the Glock, my shooters is like Dashiki: they don’t know who to [who da] pop!”

Sco defeats Real Deal

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Recap: Hard to say that Sco won this one as much as an unprepared Real Deal loss as the Pittsburgh rapper, after easily winning the 1st, consistently loses his train of thought in the latter two rounds and has to kick mostly lame freestyles just to make it through the rounds. Thus Sco, with a punch-worthy and witty 2nd and a short, but able 3rd, edges this BET/UFF battle at the end.

Verdict: Sco (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Sco – “Nigga’s sleeping on Sco, I been the truth, been rapping since Bow Wow was in ‘Gin and Juice’!”

Ill Will defeats Lotta Zay

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Recap: Ill Will moves on to the finals by winning UFF match, but his Team Homi brethren Lotta Zay made him earn it, stunting in the early rounds heavy with some bully (“This nigga pussy, am I the only one smelling the shit?, now who gonna get you out that pickle when that chopper make you relish the bits?”) bars and clever wordplay. But while Zay’s delivery and bar quotient faltered a bit towards the end, Will stepped it up with a steady mix of off-the-dome (“We in the same motherfuckin’ click, so how I’mma disrespect him to the core? Fuck you, I love the real niggas in the hood more!”) flexing, entertaining soliloquies and righteous street talk to earn the win.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ill Will – “You from the hood where they wear those shirts that say ‘Stop Snitching’, I’m from the hood where they’ll take that same snitch, put him on a shirt go into a church and tell his mama to stop bitching!”

Xcel defeats Get Right

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Recap: Competitive and entertaining TrapHouse NY battle between Xcel and Get Right as the latter’s piercing punchlines and witty barbs kept him in the mix when it came to the name flip-savvy, boastful/personal-lit and wordplay-heavy lines from Xcel. A battle so close that it forced debatable 2nd and 3rd round’s, a more versatile and haymaker-friendly Xcel lands the win via the only clear vic in the 1st.

Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Xcel – “Heat?, you bust none [nun], your gun’s belong in a convent!”

Pat Stay defeats Nils m/ Skils

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Recap: Poor sportsmanship on the part of Pat Stay, unnecessarily touching his innocuous opponent Nils m/ Skils time and time again during the first two rounds, doesn’t take away from Pat’s myriad of witty punches, boastful shiners and stinging personals out-pointing the awkward and sometimes monotone, but understated style of Skils. That said, for those who didn’t appreciate Pat’s bullying tactics in this battle, it would only be a couple of years later before Pat got hit with some karma during his battle with Calicoe.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “He dives in feet first with a straight face when he jumps in the water!”

Sco defeats Ah Di Boom

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Synopsis: A motivated Sco (something happens to this guy whenever Nuborn is in the room) ups his bar game, gets creative (“Ah Di Boom sound like it can be street slang for anything…”) and spits enough real talk to edge Ah di Boom, who seems to have the consistent misfortune of getting in his own way (that Scotty Horror impression was just useless and he needs to work on his set-ups) sometimes.

Verdict: Sco (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Sco – “This is what I mean with you emcees who be talking about how you spray things, but if a nigga get you mad where you had to pop, you wouldn’t mood swing”

Emerson Kennedy defeats Konflict

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Recap: Battle rap in Utah must be popping as a nice crowd comes out to see Emerson Kennedy versus Konflict in this 3-rounder from AHAT, which EK wins after edging the first round with sharper bars and some feelgood wordplay, before taking a close 2nd with a nice rebuttal and even nicer (“Nigga, You Suck Live….guess that’s what your shirt stands for!”) freestyle on his opponent’s T-shirt. Konflict (“He quick to snitch, he wouldn’t complete a bid on Ebay!”) , who hurt himself with too many elementary bars between some hot one’s throughout, eventually gets 3-0’d in the 3rd with a meandering and elongated turn that didn’t have enough bite to even beat back a shortened, but steadily nice 3rd by EK.

Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy – “If you click, I click faster like my car blinker’s broken!”

Danja Zone defeats Nuborn

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Recap: Two-round promo battle between Danja Zone and Nuborn sees them both represent and put forth their A-games, which usually makes for a dope battle. However, it’s Danja Zone who stands out just a little bit more in each round with nicer schemes (esp. the “Machine Gun Kelly….Mac Miller” line) and more hard bars to get the win.

Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Nuborn – “Line for line you can’t spar with me, soon as I start cooking I be getting niggas mad…Paula Deen”

Rum Nitty defeats AB Hogish

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Recap: In this 3-round battle from KOTD, it’s a punchfest between an aggressive Rum Nitty and a laidback, but still potent (“The loc’s said they wanna see you die, so I’m a open Rum when I’m riding, that’s a DUI!”) AB Hogish, Close throughout due to consistently hot bars, nice schemes and dope set-ups from both battlers, it’s Rum who manages to edge it in the end thanks to a more condensed and a little more versatile 1st and (“Since you’re black and Asian, you like your cat fried, right?”) 2nd round. Hogish’s 3rd, a fiery mix of exquisite (“You not even a star outside of L.A., so why you got on your game face!”) shiners, gets him the 3rd easy.

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Who in here think Hog is gonna win, well, you must be on base, lean, medicine, heroine or you family, you share the same blood if you think I’m a lose to A B…negative!”

Yung Ill defeats V. I.

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Recap: V.I. uses some nice name (“I’m pops from the Wayans Show, I’m just here to whip Marlon’s ass!”) flips and feisty punches to deliver a solid round here versus Yung Ill. But a minor slip-up, some filler and an opponent who dished more consistent punchlines and had a better flow along with crazier (“When this A R is on her [Arizona] that’s what she’s getting, big cans….A-R Iz On A…Arizona, big cans, that’s sweet tea, but ain’t nothing sweet so quit playing!”) wordplay, equates to a loss in what was otherwise a dope battle.

Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Yung Ill – “This ain’t no walk in the beach, this more like quicksand, scope on this rifle, I could snipe you from a quick glance!”

Hemi defeats Ha Double

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Recap: In a battle of play with wordsmiths, Hemi’s rapid schemes and robust wordplay lights up the scoreboard with enough points to beat back a stumbling out the gate, but overall solid punching Ha Double.

Verdict: Hemi (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Hemi – “Tables, ladders, chairs, have ya back broke like ya unemployed!”

Charlie Clips defeats B. Magic

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Recap: Charlie Clips and B-Magic duke it out for the title of “Who Could Rap Better?” And on this day anyway, it’s Clips who wins with a nice combo of crazy (“The only nigga he bodied was Rosenberg, after that he took a detour, so I got a question, ‘why are y’all on Magic’s johnson if all he could do is beat Raw?'”) personals,  fiery (“You a ‘G’ Magic? Well sorry I’m a non-believer, you go in jail a tight end and come out a wide receiver”) punchlines and hard-hitting schemes. Don’t get it twisted as B-Magic was solid (“I ain’t trying to settle down when I’m dumping ratchets”) throughout, but just didn’t have enough heat to beat Clips in the first couple of rounds. Granted, Clips talking and gesturing through Magic’s rounds = not cool, but he still got the win regardless.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B-Magic – “I’m strapped, connected with them G’s like a Gucci shoe”

Lotta Zay defeats M. Ciddy

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Recap: I agree with the crowds decision here as while M. Ciddy was more consistent with the bars and wordplay, on the bar front Lotta Zay kept it close throughout while dropping more haymakers to go with a better performance.

Verdict: Lotta Zay (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Lotta Zay – “I’mma have to show y’all caskets when he get tagged at the neck like his shirt on backwards”