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Dizaster defeats Zeps

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Recap: Here in this O-Zone Battles 1-rounder versus Zeps, Dizaster not only displays his unique ability to freestyle for an entire round, but takes ‘Promo battle’ to a new level by literally using the battle to promote his upcoming bout vs. Canibus several times. And against an opponent mired in gimmickry and pedestrian bars throughout his turn, one can only imagine how much a hurting a prepared Dizaster would’ve put on him.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “Of course your dad knows about me and your mom’s affair, because when he comes to the crib I’m always there!”

Couture defeats Kashie Ty

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Recap: A solid, lyrical and hard-hitting effort from Kashie Ty in this 3-rounder from Queen of the Ring. But opponent Couture’s barrage of piercing punches/schemes and scathing/witty personals gets the Rhode Island emcee the first couple of rounds, before a 3rd round debatable for the win.

Verdict: Couture (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Couture – “Bitch, you look like Miss Piggy, I expected you to go ham!”

Tay Roc defeats Rich Dolarz

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Recap: With Tay Roc and Rich Dolarz battling each other you’d expect a good showing and they did exactly that. Rich built his rounds around themes (Roc being “dirty”, joining Dot Mobb because he wants to be Mook, stealing ideas for bars and allegedly “lying” a lot in his rhymes) that for most part worked, especially in round 3 which saw Dolarz drop this gem: “When people hear Tay Roc the first thing they hear is Dot Mobb, I built my own name, you wouldn’t even fucking try, it’s Mook, Rex, K then you, for me that wouldn;t fucking fly, you below the son and for you that’s fucking fine, so even when it’s cloudy out you’ll still be under shine”. Still, for all of Dolarz’ originality and subject matter, his set-ups took too long and outside his motifs, there wasn’t much bite in his bar game (that is, outside of repeating other rapper lines to make a point). A worthy performance still by Rich, but with the type of heat Roc was spitting in the first couple of rounds, winning was not an option. If Roc’s first round wasn’t enough in hard-hitting (“Tried to tell you I’m a Hitman you could holler if you want, if you owe me I’m find him with the pump, it’s like I’m St. Louis in ‘Players Club’, I’ll put Dolarz [Dolla] in the trunk”) bars and execution, his second was a pure classic with a steady of name flips, (“i seen you out in Detroit I know your hood’s mad, Factor should drop the ‘X’ off his name you made it look bad”) personals, (“Look at Smack like Alpo because he set up Rich to get killed!”) haymakers, tutorials, jokes, (“…knock his box off the screen like we playing X-box Connect”) execution and even a few shots at Calicoe just in case he wasn’t paying close enough attention. Roc all day.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Two battles ago you was fucking dead, word up, you heard what the fuck I said, I’ll Pop off, dump the lead, knock off a chuck his head or I could put the dots on him like Wonder Bread”

Kid Twist defeats Uno Lavoz

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Recap: You’d think with a potential $5k to go after, a couple of talents like Kid Twist and Uno Lavoz would put on a more pitch-perfect show. But in between sips on his brew Uno spends too much time editorializing, while the normally comically consistent Twist as a whole under-performs. Still, after a close round one edged by Lavoz’ rebuttals/freestyles, Twist has enough witty bars and personals left in his tank to come from behind, take the latter two rounds and get the win.

Verdict: Kid Twist (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Kid Twist – “So yeah you beat ZM, but that gossip shit was sort of weak, I thought I turned into the Real Housewives of Puerto Rico”

Hitman Holla defeats Cali

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Recap: With this 2-round sweep it’s another day at the office for Hitman Holla, who’s more robust punchlines and rabid gun bars easily beat back opponent Cali’s way more menial raps.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “Man, I spit like a llama, with big weapons sorta like Osama, that’ll make your heart pause like a comma!”

Jai 400 Block defeats Black Haze

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Recap: Black Haze’s strong-armed raps, righteous cadence and hardbody boasts makes things interesting. But in this 1-rounder from Block City TV, Jai 400 Block’s more methodical punches, self-deprecating lines, piercing name flips and oft-witty personals shows off a more versatile pen and gets him the win here.

Verdict: Jai 400 Block (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Jai 400 Block – “Haze, that’s OK with me, you could yell, act tough as you want but don’t play with me, goons stay with me, it’s not a nigga that wouldn’t murk they own call to put in work, it’s like I run a temp agency!”

Tech-9 defeats DNA

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Synopsis: Amazing how many commenter’s side with DNA on this one, but I’m guessing that’s due to DNA having the home court advantage and thus getting the more favorable crowd reactions. However, bar for bar I just think Tech had more punches overall while giving a crisp performance along with real life bars: “You know how awkward it feel picking your daughter up from daycare strapped, when your shirt raise up by accident and your daughter say ‘what’s that?'” that you felt through the screen. And though it seemed like Tech lost a bit of energy towards the end of each rough, this definitely wasn’t DNA at his best (tho both bodybag scheme and the tooth story in round 3 were hilarious as hell), so overall I gave Tech the edge.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-1

Best line: DNA – “If everyone you body bagged was already in a body bag then who did you really body bag?”

Real Deal defeats T. Money Bagz

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Synopsis: This battle did not get off to a good start. Money Bagz had plenty of aggression, but some of his bars were nonsensical (men can’t menstrual) and during the first couple of rounds Real Deal too often seemed to sleep through his bars while looking to take the night off. But then outta nowhere Real Deal came with a way-too-hilarious “interview” scheme to save the day and take the win.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “I’m in the mecca going ham like I’m sacrilegious”

QP (Qleen Paper) defeats Johnie Alcatraz

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Synopsis: Any boxing judge could tell you that sometimes what determines the winner of a fight isn’t the quantity of the punches or who landed the most, but the quality of the punches or who landed more haymakers. That’s the case here–a dope 1-round battle (love the visuals here!) that sees an elongated Johnny Alcatraz do little wrong except land exquisite bar after bar (“I lick shots and then the gun will peel, because hollow heads to the pipe will bring paper to the light like I’m trying to check if a hundred’s real”), so much so that you wouldn’t be wrong to think the sometimes unprepared QP having little chance at winning this battle. But when his turn finally arrives, a confident QP doesn’t break a sweat, launching into an all-encompassing palette of righteous heat that took on everything from ridiculing his opponent’s tongue ring and his hood credentials with well-executed boasts to fiery street talk to piercing punchlines with the “Little nigga, you couldn’t hold piss on a road trip!” bar serving as the nail in the coffin.

Verdict: QP (W) 1-0

Best line: QP – “While you was playing them school games, I was stuck on the block took up a tool trade, for the right fee, your team will step like Spike Lee off a School Daze!”

Bonnie Godiva defeats Quastar

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Recap: Versus a swagga-licious Quastar on QOTR, Bonnie Godiva survives some rampant personals and other style jokes with her own barrage of fiery gun bars, stifling personals, graphic mayhem and gritty punchlines/wordplay to take each round and earn a 30.

Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “I mean I don’t know if she a pussy nigger or a man bitch, have y’all ever seen a metro-sexual? well, this trans it [transit]!”

40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats Menace

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Recap: Whoever ends up writing a complete, nuanced and factual book on battle rap history will certainly have to dedicate a chapter or two to Grind Time. As GT was not only one of the early successful battle leagues, it influenced many to start their own leagues later on and so many top tier greats who still battle today started their careers on Grind Time. That said, for all the ups and downs, controversies, behind-the-scene shit, etc. that GT dealt with before its ultimate demise, none irks a recap person more than the robberies that went down there, especially considering the fact that when you’re a league that keep tracks of battlers win-loss records (who can influence future plates), there shouldn’t be any room for biased and/or incompetent judges. So who knows what went down here (the judges and who voted for who wasn’t shown in the vid), but this battle between 40 B.A.R.R.S. and Menace had no business going to overtime. None. Indeed, while Menace wasn’t bad with her aggressive punches and some of her hard-hitting personals, 40 clearly out-rapped her all 3 rounds with a more consistent palette of boastful zingers, biting trap talk, sexual exploits and piercing punchlines, not to mention more haymakers. Hell, even with 40 getting frustrated having to do an OT and shortening her round a bit, her cleaner turn there should’ve given her the edge. Yeah, this was just bad.

Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 3-0

Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S.- “I don’t bodybag bitches, I send them to the urn!”

Brizz Rawsteen defeats Fred Mance

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Synopsis: Not quite feeling lines that basically big up George Zimmerman and I get the feeling that Fred Mance doesn’t like jokes in his rap battles. But other then that this was a good battle, both bringing that hard heat with their lines, but Brizz just spazzing throughout and clearly outnumbering Mance on the versatility, performance and haymakers (“I been hell, you been frail, my guns go ‘BA-ROCK!!!, no Obama, there won’t be no missed shells [Michelle])”.

Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 3-0

Favorite line:  Brizz Rawsteen – “The bullets in the tech is toe size, no lie, put ’em to your neck from both sides like bow ties”

Calicoe defeats O-Red

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Synopsis: This is a tough one, because bar for bar O-Red (“With that being said it’s one rule if you wanna pass this nigga, don’t spit it like the last bitch nigga, cuz the way I left that faggot in a casket laying on chin chilla, even Gaylord Focker couldn’t have Ben Stiller”) had the better material here. But rap battles shouldn’t be judged on just bars as creativity, rebuttals, performance, delivery, etc. have to be taken into consideration too. And that’s why Calicoe gets the win here, winning rounds 2 and 3 with amazing performance lines, freestyles, jokes (even O-Red later admitted how over-the-top and funny Cal was (‘…Cal, you’ve done enough!’) in that classic 3rd with the storytelling), shit-talking, personals and rebuttals in front of a hostile Jersey crowd. Then too, anyone who’s seen the run O-Red’s been on of late knows that this wasn’t one of his best performances overall. Cal edged it.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1

Best line: O-Red – “You stealing from a seed that you raised?, I should open-hand you, you got your power from your son, you a solar panel”

Daylyt defeats Danja Zone

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Recap: For a last-minute replacement Danja Zone still puts on good show against the all bars, no gimmicks version of Daylyt. But a slight slip-up, a couple of elongated schemes and a little too much filler will stand out even more when it comes to a one-rounder. That and Daylyt’s steady hitting punchlines/bars secures the win for the guy with the face tats.

Verdict: Daylyt (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Daylyt – “Try to rob and you’ll see Sparks fly like a Lisa Leslie dunk”

Cadalack Ron defeats Real Deal

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Recap: In this 3-rounder from Voicebox Battles, Cadalack Ron scores an impressive win over Real Deal. Using a plethora of potent hallucinogenic (“I know I’m the worst, if you got some lean in ya cup, pour out a couple of O’s and a purp before you go into church, ‘cuz I don’t care if you put me in a bodybag, just make sure there’s some dope in it first”) bars, roundhouse personals and some pleasing (“And it’s the anniversary of Columbine, so I’mma do like Eric Harris, I’ll leave him with a hollow spine and blame my careless parents!”) wordplay to take all 3 rounds over a veteran opponent whose freestyle (“Stepdad jumped in the scene to play the daddy figure, being brain dead cost you your seat at the House…Gabby Giffords!”) aptitude saved him from getting bodied, this is arguably Ron’s most consistent and best overall showing.

Verdict: Cadalack Ron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Cadalack Ron – “I found her profile on Christian Mingle, it just said the bitch was single, if that pussy was a snare drum…well, let’s just say my dick was Ringo!”

KG The Poet defeats Uno Lavos

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Recap: “Your mom’s sells cupcakes at a hardware store” and that “wetback” rebuttal, with Uno Lavis it’s rarely not entertaining. But just jokes in the midst of repeated filler won’t win you a battle against a promising up-n-comer like KG the Poet who elicits enough .personals, haymakers and steady punchlines to get the dub here.

Verdict: KG the Poet (W) 2-1

Favorite line: KG the Poet – “….you like an Arizona weatherman, you gotta lie about a Storm to get attention”

JC defeats Lynx Montana

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Recap: Dishing some witty personals throughout the match while also scoring with some fiery punchlines…including a debatable round, Lynx Montana was able to keep this battle against JC close. But the ability to spout a gang of piercing punchlines/wordplay to go along with some rapid fire schemes, stinging personals and rigid gun bars allows a slightly more versatile and bar efficient JC to edge the latter two rounds of this Scheme Street bout for the win.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “And y’all say my image is a hoax, nigga your image is a ghost, that’s the easiest thing to walk through!”

B. Magic defeats Rosenberg Raw

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Recap: In this three-round battle from Smack/URL, Rosenberg Raw starts things off with a bullish, banging and more condensed 1st round to edge things there before falling off (to the point of even getting tight with the crowd) with each proceeding round and leaving a consistently punch-heavy throughout, witty and mayhem/name flip-lit B. Magic to take both of the latter rounds for the win.

Verdict: B. Magic (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B. Magic – “See, Rosenberg want that drama till you pull shit, I will leave Rose on his back for that bullshit!”

Young Gattas defeats Looney Divine

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Recap: Dishing some hardbody personals and relentless with the aggressive punchlines and festive name flips, Young Gattas does it all while putting a hurting on an earnest, but mostly pedestrian Looney Divine in this 3-rounder from KOTD.

Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young Gattas – “You ain’t been shit that first hit…you Lumidee!”

Head Ice defeats Swave Sevah

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Recap. A couple of Harlem vets, Swave Sevah and Head Ice, go at it on the main stage and the angles are pretty noticeable here with Swave hitting with hardbody punches when he wasn’t getting metaphorical with pronounced schemes/break-downs of his opponent’s moniker. While Ice gets busy with righteous punchlines, able-bodied personals and in taking the 1st round, witty storytelling bars that were highlighted by Ice’s appreciation of Swave’s girl hitting him off with ‘home fries’ after a great night of passion. Judging from Swave’s inability to keep a straight face thru Ice’s more comedic barbs, it’s all in good fun tho, even after Swave easily takes the 3rd round with a load of stinging (“Your battles are like the rumors of you knocking Rex out, ‘cuz if it has an impact, it’s not from one of your punches!”) personals and other lyrical shiners. Thus, this one comes down to the 2nd, a solid turn from both battlers, but with Ice dishing (“You ain’t built for the streets say the punches that your jaw take, back to karate-chopping board games!”) straight heat more consistently with a little less filler, it ends up being a close win for Mr. I Control Everything.

Verdict: Head Ice (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Head Ice – “You probably feeling like we supposed to be friends, taking off ya glasses like we supposed to be twins!”

Ty Law defeats Anymal

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Recap: Ty Law uses a gang of fiery name (“Usually, I spit three rounds and then I take my opponent’s heart, watch me take Anymal’s [animal’s] in two, this Noah’s Ark!”) flips, buoyant (“You Rick Ross, you know ya man Gunplay [gun play] wack!”) punchlines and sizzling (“I’m in all black like a Saints fan, poppin’ like I breakdance, he try to run I let the .8 blam, spray his whole back like Hollywood Hogan with the paint can!”) schemes to make quick work of Anymal. Who in an apparent grudge match, spent most of his time wanting to “prove” himself rather than attempt to win the battle–a little deflating after he spouted a pretty intense and blazing (“Talking out your jaw, I call and get you all sniped, put your brain on Ty Law spelled backwards, on the wall [Law] aight [Ty]!”) first round.

Verdict: Ty Law (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ty Law – “Nowadays there’s no fighting, I will pop it, Craig on is day off, who the fuck still boxing?!”

Presidential Dubz defeats D-Money

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Recap: Having your parents supporting what you love to do is a beautiful thing, but actually bringing your mom’s to a rap battle?!? Right…well, moving on, nothing spectacular to see here as D-Money and Presidential Dubz both had their moments as well as a few stumbles along the way. But I got Dubz’ punchlines amd wordplay outshining his opponent’s in rounds 1 and 3, which equates to not only a win, but a mom who’s undoubtedly proud of her son.

Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “Slugs open that stomach up, that means I see section [C-section]!”)

Charlie Clips defeats X-Factor

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Recap: Take away the 1st half of X-Factor’s round here versus Charlie Clips and you have a pretty exhilarating (and very long) one-round matchup on the URL/Smack stage. For Clips, in only his 3rd on-screen battle, as far as making an impression goes, all bases were covered: from witty personals to goading off-the-dome lines that no one was safe from to quintessential (“This is what you wanted nigga?, you wanted me to be disrespectful, put my dick in ya niece fish tank, dump the water on ya nephew!”) schemes to flat-footed (“I’m the controller, I leave squares like you so dead, so if X care to the triangles [try angles] like Verb, he’ll get an L too and have to battle U-Red!”) haymakers, all in a battle that he was clearly motivated for as he literally took the crowd chants of “Keep going!” to heart, rapping for like 20-plus minutes. Clearly without a clue of what he was in for, after Clips was finally done, X-Factor still managed to give the crowd a worthy performance…when he got into his bag. Dishing amusing (“Against Tay-Roc about 200…against Verb, 305!”) ‘priority’ bars, feelgood name flips along with requisite (“I be going HAM, up dumping, squeezing that pump, Clips be going HAM…add bacon, cheese and croissant!”) fat jokes that made their mark, Factor’s execution was only hurt by a filler-drenched first few minutes of his round as well as wordplay that didn’t always land hard. That said, altogether Clips’ overall performance combined with better consistency was enough to score a win.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “It’s been 5 battles straight and you have yet to take that hat off, now either Blind Fury is your barber, he did you and took your back off or you got a hairline that’d make LeBron happy, but piss Smack off!”

Daylyt defeats Philly Swain

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Recap: Considering how much Philly Swain got up in Daylyt’s face during the 1st round, unless he actually did touch him, not sure why Swain (or Lush One) would have an issue with Daylyt returning the favor. That said, this battle was pretty competitive with a punch-heavier Swain taking the 1st round before the ever bullish and quotable Daylyt edged the 2nd. Final round was a goodie with Swain showing off his vet skills via a handful of rigid freestyles to go along with a boatload of flexing punchlines and witty barbs. But the deciding round here goes to Daylyt who with a more consistent turn of fiery punches, some spicy wordplay and plenty of boastful heat, edges the 3rd.

Verdict: Daylyt (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Daylyt – “I’m more gutter than a crackhead bunch, I’ll give him more dots than a Pac-man lunch/click cals you gonna see a big POW!!!, it look like a old Batman punch!”

Big Kannon defeats M. Ciddy

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Synonym: Even if you’re a fan of one-rounders, I can’t see how this one wouldn’t have been better over the course of 3 instead of 1. I mean, anytime you have non-top tier dudes rapping over 6 minutes consecutively you’re bound for a snooze-fest. That said, M. Ciddy, forever cocky, but always prepared with dope bars and personals, put on perhaps one of his best performances. If only his round was more condensed and he didn’t see the need to talk at times while Kannon spit his bars. Big Kannon, somehow the crowd fave here (despite being from Chicago while Ciddy’s from Michigan, where this battle took place), went second and while having a hard act to follow, still came through in the end by dropping a more steady stream of haymakers (that “get it like Tupac in the intersection” line was mean), less filler and a slightly better performance along with personals.

Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 1-0

Best line: Big Kannon -“What if I wanted a tour through the D?….what would you do? Take out an iPhone, start scrolling through the apps, ‘[I’m like] what’chu gonna’ do with that?’ I’m taking you to Google Maps”

Young X defeats Ave

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Recap: After splitting the first couple of rounds (Young X [“See, when the narcs want to know who on the block moving yah ’round, they just pull up, Ave hop in the back seat and lay down”] took Rd. 1 while Ave [“Now I got this new mark, thinking I’mma lose heart, shit I’m smooth as GQ in Juice and this the roof part!”] got Rd. 2), it’s Young X’s versatility (personals, jokes, nice set-ups and even a crew chnat0 and slightly better consistency with the bars that edges this 3rd round and gets him a win this highly competitive and spirited matchup from Seven Cities Shark League.

Verdict: Young X (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Young X – “Yeah, you ain’t think i heard about you?, you security guard, what the fuck gave you the audacity to pick up a mic?, this ain’t even your style of work, go break up a fight!”

Pass defeats Brixx Belvedere

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Recap: Spirited, competitive and at times pretty witty KOTD battle between Pass and Brixx Belvedere stayed thisclose throughout as the two traded an almost equal amount of spicy personals/name flips, rich similes, potent wordplay and piercing punchlines in all 3 rounds. However, while Brixx scored at an equal clip as his opponent, the slightly more condensed with the haymakers Pass edges the deciding (call the other two a draw) 2nd round for the win.

Verdict: Pass (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pass – “When I put Brixx [bricks] in a bag that shit is vacuum sealed!”

Cortez defeats Shotgun Suge

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Synopsis: Nice of Suge to finally address the not-showing-up-in-Detroit situation here, but I don’t know if I buy his reasoning considering that it was he who started the whole mess in the first place (in NYC of all places). But back to the battle, which was really loud and vociferous, which is to be expected from a couple of pretty intense dudes. Despite slipping up (no, that’s not a choke ‘cuz a choke happens when you clearly forget your bars) in the 3rd round, I gave Cortez the edge because simply put overall he just out-barred Suge (esp. in Round 1), delivering fierce lines at Suge while holding his own in front of a hostile crowd. Of course, considering Cortez’s longtime experience and vet status over Suge, this battle probably shouldn’t have been as close as it was…but whatever.

Verdict: Cortez 2-1

Best line: Shotgun Suge – “I ain’t grading a paper when you see red on an essay (‘esai’)”

Brizz Rawsteen defeats Africa

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Synopsis: “Bury niggas just to make sure the shovel working”…clearly ready to go all night if he had to, a steady and passionate Brizz Rawsteen keeps the crowd wanting more in this easy win over Africa.

Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “….BOW! That’ll put ya’ thru the floor, now I’m shooting at the floor like I’m mopping with the gat!”

Tone Montana defeats ESG

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Recap: Yes, ESG called Tone Montana a “wanksta” in this battle. But then that wasn’t the only reference he made to the 90’s or 00’s so it could be that he’s possibly stuck in the time warp and can’t get out. Granted, Tone Montana wasn’t much better here, but bar wise he bested anything ESG had to spit–too bad for Tone, all the judges must’ve been his opponent’s homies.

Verdict: Tone Montana (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Tone Montana – “…killing was constant, there was nothing I could ever do with a smile, but I’ll be in y’all projects going coo coo with the Cal”

Charron defeats Tricky P

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Recap: The unique punching, sometimes sing-songy/off-the-dome and oft-witty styling’s of Tricky P do their part in keeping things interesting for 3 rounds here against Charron. But in this highly entertaining KOTD matchup, it’s Charron’s continuous barrage of piercing punchlines, hard-hitting personals, fiery schemes and ill freestyles/rebuttals that gets Corey an easy win over his look-alike opponent..

Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charron – “If your sex life was made into a movie they’d sell it in the fantasy section!”

John John da Don defeats Bill Collector

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Recap: John John da Don versus Bill Collector on the Smack/URL stage equates to a lot of entertainment, a bunch of performance bars and a whole lot of filler in a battle that overall should’ve been a lot better. Indeed, in a first round that you could be forgiven if you thought it’d set the tone for the entire battle, both JJDD and Bill Collector got in their bag with some dope personals, crowd-pleasing antics, witty barbs and pointed name flips. However, after a literally dancing at times Bill Collector edged the round with more consistently stirring lines that matched his energetic flow, a competitive battle turned lackadaisical with Bill’s bars getting less and less potent, while a slightly more versatile and turned up with rapid punchline waving JJDD also relied on effective, but elementary imitations of his opponent as well as fellow rappers to get through the latter rounds. That’s why, all in all, it’s BC’s sudden loss of a nice pen game after round one, along with a fleeting comeuppance by JJDD that gets the latter the win here.

Verdict: John John da Don (W) 2-1

Favorite line: John John Da Don – “First hand, keep a cig, that’s gonna wet ya man, and while that’s smoking, you might die from the second hand!”

T Top defeats Kenny MacGuyver

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Synopsis: Good battle, competitive throughout and all of that. T Top came with creativity in round 1 with nice Grandma/MacGuyver storytelling bars, while Kenny MacGuyver went for the fat jokes (and played my man Steele from “Juice”) in round 2 to grab that one. With the battle up in the air come round 3, Top’s trap talk and gutter punchlines ably beat MacGuyver’s simply alright bars.

Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T Top – “Your bars be average, mines fantastic, I should be on that carpet with Jasmine, fuck Aladdin”

Arsonal da Rebel defeats T-Rex

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Recap: Besides an excellent first (“I got a Trick Trick that’ll make you forget what a Shotgun is!”) round from T-Rex, the best thing about this battle might be the footage which featured quality lighting and superb camera positioning throughout. However, thanks to some lame extra shit between Arsonal’s man Ray Swag and Murda Mook (who should know better than to talk during Arsonal’s round), an alright battle is upstaged, a minor brouhaha ensues and everyone has to clear the stage so the battle can be wrapped up. Arsonal wins if for nothing else but packing just enough heat, aggressive (“Boy down and kiss the Chuck’s like you Leroy, nigga!”) bars, schemes and overall versatility in two elongated rounds to edge out Rex’s way-too-short 3rd and just decent 2nd.

Verdict: Arsonal da Rebel (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Arsonal da Rebel – “I ain’t never seen Redman or Treach get treated like a sucker, but I did see Cam and Jim Jones both get ran out the Rucker”

Henry Bowers defeats Passwurdz

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Recap: Swedish battle rapper Henry Bowers uses a variety of nifty punchlines, witty shiners, a couple of nice rebuttals and some lofty personals to beat back a mostly subpar and seemingly just happy-to-be-there Passwurdz in this 3-rounder from O-Zone Battles Uptown.

Verdict: Henry Bowers (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Henry Bowers – “Sure, I painted my face green, but your’s is green of envy!”

K-Shine defeats Nov

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Synopsis: Overall, this one was definitely a yawner, but blame Nov for going on way too long with mostly elementary school, playground bars. So chalk up an easy dub for K-Shine who came with a better delivery, some nice Vegas bars for the hometown fans to eat up and scored heavy with the wordplay.

Verdict: K-Shine (W) 1-0

Best line: K-Shine – “I’ll drag his ass to Texas, where dem checks is, empty, when I used the shotty, they’ll need more than Ray-J to find that Houston body!”

Viixen The Assassin and Nate The Great [TIE]

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Recap: First, gotta say that the reactions from the woman on the left of the screen with the big earrings, while these two spit their bars was priceless (I’m guessing this was her first time at a rap battle). Secondly, competitive, salacious and punch-heavy 2-rounder here between Nate The Great and Viixen The Assassin made this one a goodie. Lastly, ummm yeah, Viixen got sort of robbed by the judges here as her loud but versatile,  (“He look like the little boy off Stuart Little…all grown up!”) personal-savvy, mayhem-rich and more haymaker-lit turn got her a clear win in round 1 before Nate upped his bar efficiency with some scathing raps of his own to come back and take round 2.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Nate The Great – “I’m a make this ho cry and her brain swell when I punch her in both eyes like how her name spelled!”

Bonnie Godiva defeats Mz Hollywood

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Recap: A female version of an early Shotgun Suge with her aggression, brazen raps and movie bars, Mz Hollywood makes her mark in this QOTR 3-rouder vs. Bonnie Godiva. Yet by consistently hitting with the wordplay (which we’re pretty sure her new Innuendo team helped out with) as well as scoring with a bunch of spitfire personals and piercing name flips, after the two split the first two rounds, it’s Ms. Godiva who edges things in the 3rd for the win.

Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Who would rather suck a dick than have sex? [‘Hollywood!’], all a nigga really gotta do is give Holly wood!”

Nitty defeats Type Z

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Recap: This Grind Time matchup turns out to be a close one as Type Z comes (“I say that real shit that I do…while playing Call of Duty!”) witty with the gun bars and the salacious personals, while Nitty (no ‘Rum’ yet) mostly sticks with hard punchlines and potent set-ups. That said, a debatable 1st and 3rd makes for a deciding 2nd round that Nitty takes handily with more consistent barbs and shiners.

Verdict: Nitty (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nitty -“I know you can’t stand me probably, I gave his mom a ride and humped her twice…she a camel jockey!”

Ill Will defeats J Huggans

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Recap: Perhaps still upset at his sleep being interrupted too early about a prospective rap (“Why would you call me to even provoke me?!, and early in the morning!, nigga you don’t even know me!”) battle, Ill Will gets downright undignified, dropping crazy wordplay, punchlines, aggressive bars, personals and repeated haymakers on J Huggans to proceed with, execute, complete and toe tag a bodybag.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Ill Will – “I will come to St. Lou and dismember your shit, Lay low the day before and plan on bombin’ ya building the next day…damn that’s similar to September the 10th”

Aye Verb defeats Hitman Holla

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Recap: Listen, you’d be a fool to not say that Aye Verb’s 3rd round was legendary, an epic tutorial, a classic round with the “Hey Big Gerald! ‘Yes Sir!’ Now that’s the way you’re supposed to speak to your son!” spiel undoubtedly going down in URL history as one of the greatest, showstopping moments in battle rap history. Ok, now that we got that out the way and we give Verb his much-deserved props, let’s remind ourselves that this was a 3-round battle, not just one. Thus, I got Hitman Holla edging the first round and come to think of it overall he may’ve been more consistent too. Holla had more hard-hitting personals, he schooled Verb too with the “It’s Rules You Learn As a Kid, Fuck Rap” lines, had better (“I walk in, all hugs from the bitches, the baddest, he walk in, tragic, no looks, Magic”) wordplay, the  ‘JR Smith’ remix was crazy and he had slightly less filler. None of that is to say that Verb didn’t show up during the first two rounds as his performance (esp. in round 2) was tight with a lot more variety, the “Holla, killing you gonna hurt me [shakes his head] way more than it’s gonna get to you” quip was hilarious (as was the Murphy Lee diss: “You just a little nigga’s, little nigga”). And tho I don’t think most people would have a problem with someone buying their first car at 24, Verb’s overall theme on how Holla isn’t as real as he portrays not only worked well, but would spark a host of copycats later on. A highly entertaining and closer battle then a lot of people give it credit for, what with Verb dropping more haymakers and this arguably being his best performance, Chaz took home the crown for St. Louis…for one day anyway.

Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 2-1

Favorite line: “I’m a one man slay special, get your whole gang wet up, I come to you first and then all they cribs, I’m like a chain letter”

Pat Stay defeats Thesaurus

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Recap: Yeah, Thesaurus’ 3rd round ‘Why would you question my parenting faggot?, I fathered this entire scene’ rebuttal should go down as one of the best and most classic rebuts in battle rap history. But at the end of the day it was just a line. And I’m puzzled how one line within a very shortened turn supersedes the extra witty punches and personals Pat Stay was spouting earlier in what was a deciding round 3. Same goes for the 1st round as well which saw Pat lay down a flexing combo of piercing punches, rigid wordplay and boastful barbs over an opponent who while hitting at times, was pretty pedestrian with the raps otherwise. Indeed, if not for Pat struggling with his flow a bit in round 2, this could’ve been a 30, but instead the judges somehow gave Thesaurus the win.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “His baby’s mom will send him to the store to buy his daughter some diapers, he’ll come home late all awkwardly hyper, like, ‘Sorry baby. I got caught in a cipher!'”

RemyD and Hitman Holla [DEBATABLE] (Rematch)

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Recap: Classic Fight Klub battle between (“Your rims don’t turn, your lyrics don’t burn, so as far as I’m concerned, that’s as far as I’m concerned!”) Hitman Holla and RemyD didn’t allow for stumbling, hence a flow-challenged Remy having his 2nd round cut short, before a couple of nice freestyles by Remy in the deciding 3rd round got him a….sudden death OT, which while totally unfair, was no fault of Hitman’s, allowing for Holla to ‘comeback’ with a tie after spitting a solid OT round after Remy slips up once again in the extra round.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: RemyD – “You could tell that I’m the answer, like what come after the equal sign!”

T Top defeats Lee Hustle

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Recap: Almost didn’t recognize him at first, but the infamous Lee Hustle gets in the ring with T Top in this one-rounder from Goonie BattleGroundz. All these years later, Hustle still displays an aggressive style and still doesn’t have a problem talking while his opponent raps, but within a shortened round is only able to spit a couple of standout (“Top, you wanna know why my fans come around? Cuz’ my shit raw, I got the shit that put Whitney in the ground”) bars outside of what amounted to mostly average lines. On the flip side, T Top literally goes ham for like 8 minutes, amping the crowd with crazy personals, steady schemes, raw (“Lee Hustle, you fat muthaficker you, but ask him moms, I’m a fat mother fucker too!”) jokes and persistent name flips on top of a mean performance that allows his to leave the show with a body.

Verdict: T Top (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T Top – “Fuck Hustle, I’m coming for your fam Lee, send Deebo in ya crib, I can’t stand [Stan] Lee!”

T-Rex defeats Artisan

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Recap: Despite the fact that Kurt Cobain actually committed suicide (sorry Rex, but it wasn’t an O’D) T-Rex’s infinite gun bars and gritty (“If I decide to hit this dude, his chest will be fishnets and he’ll be insect food”) urban soirees are more than enough to overcome Artisan’s weak (“I could guarantee he fuck with that white girl, his nickname should be Barry Bonds”; “And now I’m at his neck, no hickey”) wordplay and elongated angles here in this battle from Ahat.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “Beef with my click we gonna meet with you tonight, these two-fifths I got they don’t equal to a pint!”

Bonnie Godiva defeats Lil Bitz

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Recap: From QOTR, Bonnie Godiva gives a much better ‘Sparring Sesssions” performance than her last showing, spouting a more relaxed cadence while dishing a boatload of hitting punchlines/personals for 3 rounds at opponent Lil Bitz, who after edging round 1 with that dope “Mase…Welcome Back” punch and a slew of raucous backbreakers, couldn’t come up with anything substantive enough to overcome Bonnie’s more efficient darts in the latter rounds.

Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “So I could beat you like your Aunt Jackie and send you back to Harlem naked, or let those bullets rain and clear it out, send you back to Harlem shaking!”

Nils m/ Skils defeats Uno Lavoz

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Recap: Any judge who bases his vote on how the other judges voted (as the last guy did here) should never be allowed to vote again. That being said, Nims m/ Skillz win this one, a dope rebuttal game along with out-baring and (“Your mama shaves her pussy on the bus!”) out-joking a gritty (“My flow’s fresher than a baby that drowns in detergent”) at times, but overall inconsistent Uno Lavoz with relative ease throughout all three rounds, while making you wish the camera guy gave you at least one shot of just how good Nims’ girl actually looked.

Verdict: Nims m/ Skils (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Nims m/ Skils – “My plan was to beat you than fuck your girl…didn’t happen in that order”

Bonnie Godiva defeats Ebb Boogie

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Recap: All Bonnie Godiva here as the Yonkers, NY, emcee rips hardbody, but mostly subpar opponent Ebb Boogie to shreds via a persistent gang of scathing personals and no-holes-barred mayhem to easily win this 1-rounder from Liveloop Battle League.

Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “You the type of ugly bitch that only get molested by her step-dad!”

Tall T defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: For the most part choosing to shoot straight from the hip, Shotgun Suge’s usual assortment of bully bars and street (“These nigga’s call cops when that gat pop, YOU Google news on your laptop!”) bravado lack the wordplay, pizazz and variability that makes them kick, thus giving Tall T’s eccentric (“That’s ‘cuz he was born with the wrong chest!”) jokes, hitting personals and rich punchlines more than enough room to take this East-meets-West one-rounder from URL.

Verdict: Tall T (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tall T – “If he don’t die the first time I try to spray that nigga, I’ll give him one more shot…like I forgave that nigga!”

40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats Star Smilez

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Recap: Nice, strong and punch-worthy effort from Star Smilez in this 3-rounder from QOTR. But a prepared 40 B.A.R.R.S. is capable of beating anyone on any given day, as shown here with the Boston femcee flexing throughout via some superlative wordplay, boastful barbs, gritty sexual accolades, head-ringing personals and piercing punchlines to take the latter two rounds for the win after getting edged in the 1st.

Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 2-1

Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “Run up on Star with that left, i ain’t looking for no autograph!”

Ty Law defeats Syckflo

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Recap: Thanks to some winning names (“Ever since I was yeah tall, I knew how to break laws, my first crime is I’mma get so high cuz I’ll smoke Ty, then I’ll put a arrow through his bone marrow, I’ll bow Ty [tie]”) flips in the 2nd round, Syckflo makes up for a filler-drenched and candy-bar painted 1st round to warrant himself overtime against a sometimes pensive Ty Law. However, in OT while Law’s expansive punchline (“This OT was planned, we know it’s going to me like Reggie Miller with a minute left”) games shines, an unprepared Syckflo can’t even pull off a freestyle to save himself from a bout with slip-ups and finally a last-minute visit from Earl.

Verdict: Ty Law (W) OT

Favorite line: Ty Law – “You anorexic, you been messing with the meth at night, I’m ambidextrous, I’ve been killing rappers left and right!”

Young X defeats Young Mike

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Recap: With the ability to go three rounds without spitting a single direct bar at his opponent, who knows if Young Mike was woke enough to realize that he was in a battle and not just spitting bars over a beat in the booth. Not that it mattered to Young X, who styles on Mike with enough steady jokes, nice (“I make Christians when I rap. I got the people like ‘Gawd’!”) braggadocio lines and rich storytelling bars to score an easy 3-0.

Verdict: Young X (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young X –  “Tell the truth, stop lying, you ain’t never slang hard, purse-snatcher, running off with people’s Medicaid cards!”

Passwurdz and Skelly [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: From KOTD, after the two split the first couple of rounds (Passwurdz taking the 1st before Skeely took round 2), Passwurdz’s flow-istic punchlines and his opponent’s pointed, hardbody stylings/personals (“And I heard that bitch you got in Oakland will let the whole block bang, she be giving more neck than a King of the Dot chain!”) equate with enough heat in the deciding 3rd to make this one a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Passwurdz – “You bring a fat, black girl to every battle that you have and I think that’s just Precious!”

Tay Roc defeats QP (Qleen Paper)

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Recap: Tay Roc is both a seasoned vet and a good challenge for anybody, thus one would think that in front of his home crowd a rising neophyte like QP (Qleen Paper) would not only be prepared, but amped to put on a dope performance for his native Detroit. Unfortunately, that’s not the case here as after putting forth a stellar first (“I’ll sweep ya grandma cane, sleep that bitch and tell her get up off the floor and out your teth back bitch!”) round, which featured a lot potent trap talk and hard-hitting bars, Qleen’s stock went immediately downhill as loaded bars were replaced by a whole lot of filler, dry spots and a 3rd round that’ll probably go down as the beginning of Qleen’s “I don’t give a fuck” run. Meanwhile, Roc had a strong and consistent performance throughout, dropping straight (“ya man got an issue, whip out that pistol [points] then Qleen next!”) heat, landing punches with aggressive bars, nice (“I’m in Detroit, where you riding, wack nigga, word is in Detroit is he a lying [Lion] ass nigga”) personals, dope name flips (esp. the Detroit battle rapper lines) and killing it with the (“We pull up right beside of ya, shooting, no photographer, you don’t wanna dance with me, get ya choreographer”) wordplay. Altogether, a sound performance on the road by Tay Roc and another dub for Mr. Maryland.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Qleen Paper – “I’mma play the bishop role, you could have King, I don’t care if you with your bitch, I’ll make a bad scene, grab weave and pull it down the block…that’s a drag queen!”

Tsu Surf defeats Brixx Belvy

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Recap: If you’re going to travel all the way to the opposite coast for a one-round rap battle, you might as make it worth your while. And Tsu Surf does so here, combining aggressive wordplay, hitting subtitles (“You look like a horse jockey, take that in consideration [take that and consider racing]”) and witty bars to bring back a win to Jersey.

Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tus Surf – “Boy I will trend everybody in your family, I get them pounds poppin’, and if I don’t make it out, them homies gonna be like Sacramento and San Fran, how they surround Stockton”

Real Deal defeats Okwerdz

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Recap: May be a minor thing, but always respected Okwerdz’s choice to go 1st in battles. And here in this Grind Tine bout against Real Deal, the Stockton, CA vet offered up some serious comp what with a bunch of fierce punches and witty/rigid personals throughout the match. But after a debatable round 1 and a pretty dope 2nd from his opponent, Real Deal’s ability to up his punch/personal game, get extra busy with a couple of fire rebuttals and then use his final round to get righteous and excellently break down Okwerdz’s rap style and career, gets the Working Man’s Rapper a well-earned win.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “We would rather hear 1-dimensional good rapping with gun rhymes than hear some yell to overcompensate for actual punchlines!

McKims defeats O-Red

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Recap: A bit of a slow start from McKims doesn’t stop him from dishing enough scheming wit and lofty wordplay to beat back a pretty pedestrian and perhaps uninspired O-Red in this one-rounder from BlockCityTV.

Verdict: McKims (W) 1-0

Favorite line: McKims – “Lines go over the top of they head like words that Common say, so if I spit something, they’ll get nuthin like Joe Jackson on Father;s Day!”

Young Kannon defeats B. Magic

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Synopsis: Not a huge upset, but an upset nonetheless with an underwheling B. Magic seemingly not taking Young Kannon seriously and it showed throughtout this battle what with YK bringing his typical aggression, but matching it with a bunch of fiery gun bars, personals and even schemes. Overall, one of YK’s better showings.

Verdict:  Young Kannon (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young Kannon – “My ‘matic buries adversaries, 16 shots will knock the dust off of Ashy Larry!”

T-Rex defeats G-Souldier

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Recap: Battling vs. a (“You like a female fucking herself with a dildo Rex, cuz you ’bout as fake as they come [cum])” game and aggressive St. Louis rapper in G Souldier, T-Rex unloads a smashing performance, dropping wisecracks at Aye Verb and Yung Ill, some ill (“Been working out ‘cuz that desert eagle a little stronger”) guns bars and of course, that grown man shit that when Rex is on his A-game, not too many can mess with. Way too short a battle, but nonetheless a win for Rex.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “I see the mag, pick it up, squeeze it fast, have his block full of empty shells like they eating crabs”