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Ghost vs Chef Trez

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QB (Black Diamond) defeats Ms. Hustle

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Recap: Dope battle with lots of personals, stage presence and aggressive bars on both sides. However, QB wasn’t at her best (too much filler) here and I don’t know if we’re supposed to believe Hustle about all those dudes QB allegedly smashed. That said, first two rounds could go either way, but QB, thanks in part to Hustle keeping it so short, definitely took the 3rd for the win.

Verdict: QB (W) 2-1

Favorite line: QB – “So what the fuck you mean if I talk about your daughter you gonna punch me in my face?, bitch I’ll turn that little bitch upside down like I’m looking for change”

J. Murda defeats J. Ripp

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Recap: An early in his career and not-so-polished J. Murda almost gets caught slipping against an at times (“You said you got knocked for a burna, and they gave you time for shells, video chatting on your phone, that’s the only time you faced a cell”) hard-hitting, but overall average J. Ripp in this Spittaz battle League match. Indeed, Murda’s quantity of fierce punchlines and braggadocio bars in the first couple of rounds prove to be just enough for the win.

Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1

Favorite line: J. Murda – “I’m hype as fuck, I dare you to try something, I’ll grip the glock and rip his top then again I’m staright with my hands like 6 o’cock”

Young X defeats 811

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Recap: It’s an easy bodybag for Young X as his prolific and jaunty (“You couldn’t fuck with me, you ain’t half as wicked, you’ll turn state’s evidence over a traffic ticket!”) personals along with a slew of rich anecdotes trounces a slip-up and substandard-bar prone 811.

Verdict: Young X (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young X – “You ain’t got the power to blow and you lost because 8:11 was a couple of hours ago!”

Tsu Surf defeats Big T

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Synopsis: I don’t know if I’d call this a great battle or a classic, but it was a pretty good nonetheless because of the fact that both Surf and Big T came with it during all three rounds, therefore making it close throughout. Yet the overall edge here goes to Surf for these reasons: while Big T had some great lines (the set up for the Keenan Ivory Wayans scheme in round 3 was dope), alomng the way he hurt himself quite a bit with filler. On the other hand Surf was more consistently hard (esp. in round a brazen, punch/wordplay-heavy and classic round 3) and aggressive. Then too, while rounds 1 and 3 were debatable, I thought Surf clearly won round 2 with better personals, jokes and clever bars, while Big T repeated a couple of lame schemes towards the end of rounds that he might have won. I didn’t like Surf talking a bit of smack during Big T’s round, but Jersey still got this one.

Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1

Best line: Tsu Surf – “What female would want to put her face between these knees?, that friction could only give off a ranch dressing smell or cream cheese, bagel things!”

Steams defeats Kidrock Dollaz

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Recap: Outdoor, lower league battles can be appreciated for their grittiness, but too much extra noise in the back begs for better crowd control. Either way I definitely wasn’t expecting that ending….still Steams got this.

Verdict: Steams (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Steams – “In my last two battles, niggas said I work housing so I’m used to putting garbage where it belongs”

Charron defeats Bowski

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Recap: A speedy flow from Bowski doesn’t offer much substance when it comes to bars, leaving Charron with plenty of room to maneuver and spout some solid punches/personals for the win, despite not quite being on this A-game, in this Don’t Flop tournament battle.

Verdict: Charron (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Charron – “I wanna win the 80 pounds…you wanna lose like 80 pounds!”

Cortez defeats Hollohan

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Recap: Already setting up his opponent’s love for illegal narcotics with very pointed personals in the earlier rounds, Cortez would take it to another level with a pretty mean (and classic) and thoro round 3, that was more lit on substance than craft. Still, for all of Cortez’s residual mayhem, race-baiting chatter and elicit STD personals, in this 3-rounder from KOTD, Hollohan did work hard to make things competitive, utilizing an aggressive use of ethnically-charged jokes, self-deprecating bars, fiery schemes and some ripping (“I fucked your bitch in your living room, that filthy ho was pathetic, more things happened on the couch than The Simpson’s opening credits!”) punches/wordplay to keep the battle close. However, in the end, it’s a more condensed Cortez who after getting edged in the 1st, scores with more heat to edge the 2nd, before his aforementioned 3rd seals the win.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “Real friends help you make yourself, if I was him as a fake friend I would hate myself, all the ‘roids and the cocaine I would hate my health, if I’m the reason my man’s dead, I would take myself!”

M. Ciddy defeats Murda

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Recap: Never heard of Murda before watching this battle, thus couldn’t help but think it’d be an easy vic for M. Ciddy with his experience and especially after all the (“I’ll lay your ass flat like Nicole Ritchie”) fire he was spitting in his round 1. But out of nowhere Murda took his turn and came with straight heat, delivering aggressive (“I can cut you with spoons and bust your head with an over mitt”) bars with rapid precision to make it a pretty good and competitive battle. With both coming kind of weak in the middle round, it wasn’t until the 3rd that M. Ciddy was able to step it up, separate himself with some all-too-wicked (“Spark clap, give him all dat like Amanda Bynes”) bars and name schemes with potent deliveries and execution to grab the win.

Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1

Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “Call it Redrum because Murda [murder] got it twisted”

Charron defeats Lefty

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Recap: Don’t Flop Entertainment 2-round freestyle battle between Charron and Lefty sees the latter put forth a solid effort with a couple of worthwhile punches mixed in. But Charron, now a veteran when it comes to these off-the-dome contests, takes each round easy with a gang of fiery punchlines, clever name flips and piercing personals.

Verdict: Charron (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Charron – “If you’re a Lefty, I’m fucking ambidextrous!”

Aye Verb defeats O-Red

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Recap: Aye Verb struggles a bit with his delivery, but still has plenty of juice (“Mixing all types of shit up, lyrical gumbo!”) in his tank to cook O-Red, who along with spitting mostly light bars during his turn here, makes the brutal mistake of trying to get off a gimmick (i.e. ‘Translation’) in front of an away crowd (in this case, Detroit) who clearly had no idea what the hell he was doing. Then Red makes it even worse by begging for a 2nd round after Smack announced a strict one-round, time limit at the start of the battle…smh.

Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Aye Verb – “You ain’t got the heart and you ain’t gonna shoot, you Rondo in LeBron mode!”

Presidential Dubz defeats Killa Killa

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Recap: With terrifically basic bars like “But to be real I ain’t looking at you, I’m looking past you”, the ruthlessly named Killa Killa stands no chance against the clever wordplay, nice (“…got a cold gun that kill early, Young Kannon!”) schemes and repeated punchlines from Presidential Dubz, in this one-rounder from We Go Hard.

Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 1-0

Favorite line:  Presidential Dubz -“Your sister wanted me to fuck her in the Coupe, but shit, it’s like I threw two fingers up, the way I do sis [deuces]!”

Ty Law defeats Boka

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Synopsis: With rigid (“Pour in ya 40’s, like niggas drinkin’ thinkin’ bout their dead homies”)
bars and delirious punchlines Ty Law drops the hammer down on Boka with relative ease.

Verdict: Ty Law (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ty Law – “This ain’t Lux vs. Mook, it’s a kitten verse a-class”

Charron defeats Pamflit

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Recap: 3-round freestyle in the streets battle between Charron and Pamflit is pretty one-sided as Charron’s prolific sex jokes, fiery punchlines and deft usage of the scenery to create bars more than beat back his opponent’s mostly subpar lines.

Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charron – “You’re like a fat chick’s yearbook, you’ll never get signed!”

Dizaster defeats Truth

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Recap: Rigid storytelling bars, a whole host of blistering name flips. able freestyles, braggadocios darts and some piercing personals/punchlines are all there as Dizaster easily takes the opening rounds of this Punchout Battles 3-rounder versus Truth, before a more consistently solid punching and personal-bent Truth edges the 3rd.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Dizaster – “You look like Bill Gates…when he was still 8!”

Bonnie Godiva defeats Jada Raye

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Recap: QOTR “Sparring Sessions” battle between newbies Bonnie Godiva and Jada Raye features plenty of mayhem from both battlers, some excellent constructive criticism from the judges and a vic for Bonnie Godiva, who despite speeding through her raps like she had a flight to catch, with a clean 2nd and 3rd coupled with Jada struggling with her flow during the same respective rounds, edges this one.

Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Spit a blunt flow ‘cuz these bitches trigger my appetite!”

Yung Ill defeats T-Rex

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Synopsis: Old Ill: cocky, aggressive, superb wordplay, some personals, bars on top of bars. Really, Rex didn’t stand much of a chance against this version of Ill, but he showed up and made it a match (tho he might’ve used some recycled bars). Still overall, Ill took this one with more consistent and fiery bars.

Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 1-0

Best line: Yung Ill – “I’m like a procrastinating pimp ever since I picked up this pistol, i ain’t put my mac down yet”

Showoff defeats Brooklyn Carter

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Recap: Showoff uses aggressively rugged, raw and rudimentary bars plus some ill schemes to easily take out an early in his battle career and not-quite-ready-for-primetime Brooklyn Carter, who’s clearly gotten a lot better since this one-round matchup from WeGoHard..

Verdict: Showoff (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Showoff – “I heard the nigga crip, cool, but he put in work for them blood niggas, I asked him ‘Why?’, he replied like a crip ‘Cuz nigga'”

Iron Solomon defeats Avalanche

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Recap: From Detroit, a mostly pedestrian Avalanche scores (esp. in round 3) with some witty personals here and there, but in this 3-rounder hosted by Bizarre from D12, it’s all Iron Solomon. The NYC battler going ham (especially during a classic, back-to-back haymaker-drenched round 2) with a boatload of hitting personals and flexing punchlines/name flips to earn the 30.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “And all this rah-rah shit, you need to stop trying it, your image is like your album…nobody’s buying it!”

Bad Newz defeats Killa Kel

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Recap: Loud, hard, aggressive and gritty 3-rounder between Bad Newz and Killa Kel from Battle Central has Newz delivering more consistent lines of steely mayhem, heated punchlines, gun-certified posits and boisterous, braggadocio flair with rapid ease to out-perform his solid, but not-quite-as-steady opponent.

Verdict: Bad Newz (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Bad Newz – “These little pussy ass niggers, the nigger’s I’m immune to, choppers wake his ass up, like right before a funeral!”

JC defeats Rosenberg Raw

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Synopsis: I’ll give Rosenberg credit for an incredible round one: performance-heavy (nice work playing to the crowd with the Shotgun Suge disses), spitting real bars, personals, etc., all said while keeping in consistent “beast-mode” throughout, in front of a hostile crowd no less which easily gave him the round. But then starting with round 2 the real JC showed up (the Ray Charles line alone put him over the top) with polished bars that had you fiending for more, turning what could’ve been a slug-fest into a rout.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Best line: JC – “Them starving hoes turn Mario, soon as you hit that brick you see the change in them”

T Top defeats K.O.

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Recap: K.O. kept it close with some tough (“These niggas wanna talk shit, but then they scared to get hit, it’s flag football!”) lines against T Top, until he pulled a Canibus and starting reading some bars from a piece a paper in round 3. A little flat with his wordplay and struggling a btitwith his delivery, T Top still managed to spit enough potent bars to get the win.

Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T Top – “Bitch niggas, i turn my back on those pussies, I like twat, so I might just look back at them pussies”

JC and Zell B [DRAW]

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Recap: Spicy and witty 2-round freestyle battle between JC and Zell B ends up as a draw due to the bout apparently ending after JC spit his 2nd round without Zell being able to get his turn in.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: JC – “He came out here pitch black…nigga lighten up!”

X-Factor defeats Rich Dolarz

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Synopsis: Not much to see here as X-Factor did a total demolition of Rich Dolarz, who after almost choking in round 1, put on a decent comeback (you could argue that round 2 was debatable), but still couldn’t handle X’s overall tenacity, bars, joke-telling (tho that “You so much of a bitch I had plans on mating you” line was kinda teh ghey) and of course, “priority” darts. Give Rich credit tho for coming through in front of a clearly biased crowd against one of Detroit’s most notable vets–perhaps choosing not to wear the stanky Yankee cap did him in.

Verdict: X-Factor (W) 3-0

Best line: X-Factor – “I’m from Detroit where hustling’s a profession so for that work they let off rounds, they carry wessons so will smith you for 7 pounds”

Cash Eatin defeats G-Soldier

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Recap: Too many basic bars and not much else on both sides, but Cash outnumbered G-Soldier on the bars and punchlines that hit, so he gets the dub.

Verdict: Cash Eatin (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Cash Eatin – “All my goons known to squirt the Tek, we keep extra arms, birth defect, them choppers with us so we been popping, Percocet”

K-Shine defeats Big Will

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Recap: Infamous Rap Battle America card that also featured Hitman Holla vs. Goodz as well as T-Rex vs. Yung Ill, brings you St. Louis vet Big Will against K-Shine and despite a pronounced Will at times hitting with gritty jokes and raucous lines/schemes on his opponent’s Harlem hood, too many pedestrian bars from Will along with a confident Shine frequently scoring throughout this 1-rounder with gritty punchlines/schemes, lucid gun bars, fire angles and potent name flips, gives the Zip ‘Em Up/Dot Mobb crew member a solid win here.

Verdict: K-Shine (W) 1-0

Favorite line: K-Shine – “Give a click and a bang, it ain’t hard to get him wacked, ‘cuz every rapper with ‘Big’ in his name get an RIP attcahed!”

Calicoe defeats Arsonal da Rebel

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Recap: Thanks to Uncle Trick Trick introducing himself to the world outside of Detroit, so much has already been said about this battle that we’ll just keep it short and judge it on who rapped better. So while Arsonal had some good (“You X-Factor and Miles…you dirty motherfuckers!”) jokes, was aggressive throughout, came with hard (“Your punk ass daddy only did one crime, one time, now he only get an hour worth of sunshine”) bars along with plenty of personals and altogether put on a dope performance, too much filler and average bars, especially in rounds 1 and 3 (the alphabet scheme was nice, but it wasn’t unique or that much better than all the other dudes have given us their versions of Papoose’s bestowla to the world), hurt him. For Calicoe, along with a more cohesive and consistent show, he really impressed mocking Arsonal’s style of rap, dispensing dope (“I mean I heard of MTV Jams, shit I even heard of MTV 2, but your shit cam eout on MTV U, I mean I’m not even sure that’s something MTV do”) rebuttals along with exquisite (“They think I’m good [Goodz] but I don’t throw bottles, I’m jumping in this crowd like I play for the Packers”) punchlines, personals, gritty street bars and fleeting wordplay. Good, entertaining and close battle, but I got Calicoe edging rounds 1 and 3 to take it in the end.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Calicoe – “This is what Wale would look like if Rick Ross ain’t gave him another chance”

Lunar C defeats Uno Lavoz

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Recap: Uno Lavos bumps into a rare emcee who can compete with him on the joke tip as Lunar C uses funny jokes (“Denying your own ethnicity is a bit shady, he’ll try telling you that he’s Spanish and not an Arab, but we all know he’s Israeli”), some weighty bars and witty (“Where I’m from, Philadelphia’s a spreadable cheese”) quips to take the latter rounds here and overcome his opponent’s 1st round comeuppance, zealotry and neck jokes.

Verdict: Lunar C (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Lunar C – “You have a small nose and big nostrils, the hatred I have for your nose can’t be contained, I wholeheartedly hate that whole part of your face, when you breathe out through it it makes you walk backwards and have a slow start to your day”

GE defeats Mac N Cheeze

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Recap: Not quite a bodybag to add his resume (Mac N Cheeze pretty much took the first round off), but GE still drops enough hot bars and witty punchlines to take this one even after his opponent finally woke up in round 2.

Verdict: GE (W) 2-0.

Favorite line: GE – “Sometimes I shoot for no reason like New Years Eve”

Goodz defeats Hitman Holla

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Synopsis: 1st appearance of Earl, but really what’s a choke? Depends on who you ask. IMO, however, it’s completely forgetting your rhymes. Hitman didn’t do that here, but then would it have mattered? Hitman’s performance, bars and name flips were poor at best (a real disappointment considering Holla was in front of his home crowd) and Goodz although not at his best either, still spit enough bars and came with enough swag plus personals to take the win….in spite of Earl.

Verdict: Goodz (W) 1-0

Best line: Goodz – “You ain’t nothing but an Urkel nigga that can turn into Stefon”

Charron defeats Spesh K

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Recap: Charron uses a slew of hard-hitting punchlines/personals to easily beat back the pedestrian raps from Spesh K in this 2-round Proud2BEhBattleMC WD2 tournament battle from KOTD.

Verdict: Charron (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Charron –  “When I fuck your sister, I double-fist her!”

Dizaster defeats Megadef

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Recap: A rare one-rounder from Grind Time finds Dizaster literally going IN on an overconfident and filler-proned Megadef with crowd-pleasing name flips, scholarly (“You’re the type of rapper I don’t even have to write to beat”) bars and a plethora of witty bars to easily get the dub.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “You’re a direct descendant, an inbred that’s been bred from relative incest, which makes sense ‘cuz it reflects the level of meth in your piss test”

Calicoe defeats Prince Lord

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Recap: Stunting and boasting left and right with elements of gritty street barbs mixed in, Calicoe and Prince Lord take it back to the rudimentary basics of who can out-rap the other in this 1-rounder from P. Noble TV, which a more consistently spicy and punch-heavier Calicoe easily wins.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Calicoe – “This thing ain’t about rap, look at my profession, too bad this nigger future ain’t as bright as his complexion!”

Jonny Storm defeats Charron

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Recap: Despite some indirect bars here and there and helped a bit by Charron dishing a wide load of Mexican jokes on a guy who’s Dominican (granted in a past battle against Forkfarm, Charron did the same thing as far as mistaken identity goes, but he also had a shitload of other noteworthy punches to stand out there), after the two split the first two rounds, a more versatile, steady with the heat, schemes/personal-heavy and freestyle/punchline-savvy Jonny Storm outlasts his opponent in the deciding 3rd round for the win.

Verdict: Jonny Storm (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Jonny Storm – “I didn’t sleep on this kid, but I’m sure Michael Jackson did!”

Imah X defeats 40 B.A.R.R.S.

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Recap: Kicking a gang of righteous heat to go along with a bunch of stifling personals, piercing punchlines and solid wordplay, Imah X beats back a lyrically-bent and punch-lit at times, but also flow-challenged 40 B.A.R.R.S in this Sparring Session battle from QOTR.

Verdict: Imah X (W) 2-1 

Favorite line: Imah X – “Bitch, you a mom, if you be with the toaster, it’s Eggo’s, stop playing, if you got those blocks locked…it’s Lego’s!”

Young X defeats Push

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Recap: If one can get past the sometimes-amateurish footage, you’ll see a spirited Young X use rich gun (“I keep a Mac like a computer with an Apple on it!”) bars and hilarious storytelling “…all the girls like ‘y’all chill’, I’m like ‘fuck this dude’, I’ll take my finger, lick it and touch his food!”) lines to 3-0 a choke-prone and clearly way-in-over-his-head Push.

Verdict: Young X (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young X – “This nigga like a cartoon character, he don’t grow up!”

Dizaster defeats Henry Bowers

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Recap: A 3-round battle lit with personals, it’s the beard barbs and Arab jokes that especially standout in this raucous match between Dizaster and Henry Bowers. But in the first couple of rounds, it’s a more consistent with the punches, haymaker-spouting and rebuttal-dishing Dizaster who takes each one for the win, before a more punch-worthy Bowers easily takes the 3rd.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Dizaster – “That thing on your face is so hideous, I don’t even know why you’re so proud of it, you’re not even a human with a beard, you’re just a bread with a human growing out of it!”

Real Deal defeats Nebula

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Recap: One of those rare battles that literally came down to the final punches in round 3, after a witty at times and versatile-punching Nebula and a lyrically technical and personal/punch-lit Real Deal break even in both of the opening rounds, it’s a slightly more haymaker-rich RD who edges what was yet another close final round for the win in this 3-rounder from KOTD.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “”When you’ve got 4 angles and they’re all the same, you end up looking like a square!”

Ill Will defeats Murdara Ron

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Recap: “You belong behind QP yelling ‘Say It Again!'” Even QP had to smile at that one as Ill Will flexes on his man Murdara Ron for three rounds and catches an easy win.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Ill Will – “I’ll show you how much weight a .357 can carry, and your boo can catch the k [bouquet] like she the next to get married”

B. Magic defeats Pooh Bear

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Recap: An on-point B. Magic can out-punch you to death. But besides a consistently spicy and crowd-pleasing turn, what stands out here in this 1-rounder versus an aggressive, gritty and pretty solid Pooh Bear, is how midway Magic flips his flow pattern to highlight the last word of the punch, a style on cadence that I’ve seen used at times by quite a few of 2020’s more established vets and even newcomers. Style linguistics aside, a close one between the two gets edged by the slightly more steady, wordplay-lit and direct Magic.

Verdict: B-Magic (W) 1-0

Favorite line: B-Magic – “Pooh, I hope over 99 k’s wet you and give your ass the wings…today’s special!”

JC defeats Timebomb

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Synopsis: Too easy to say that Timebomb was that bad here (there’s been plenty, including top tier dudes, who put on worse shows) as JC was just that good. With an exquisite (albeit cocky) flow, bars on top of bars and consistent aggression, this battle proved early on that JC is a star in the making.

Verdict: JC (W) 3-0

Best line: JC – “We done with beef you not moving, them arms strapped like straight-jackets, Ray Allen, how we come off that block shooting”

A Oun defeats Ill Will

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Recap: 1-round freestyle battle between Ill Will and A Oun tosses any chance of intricacy aside for on-the-spot jokes, personals and boasts. And while Will did an incredible job during his turn of free-styling without a single stoppage or slip-up, his redundant lines of smack talk against an opponent who was not only witty, but condensed while landing more effective punches, gives A Oun the win.

Verdict: A Oun (W) 1-0

Favorite line: A Oun – “You got that Tyrone Biggums swag!”

Real Deal defeats Ness Less

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Recap: A real good one here from Grind Time as Ness Less and Real Deal (esp. during a brazen and classic round 2) get really spicy with the personals when they weren’t dropping a bunch of solid rebuttals and hard-hitting punchlines. An ill battle straight through that also featured some dope wordplay and similes from both battlers, we got Ness taking round 1 before Real Deal came back to edge the latter two rounds for the win.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “Loose cannon, I’m deadly, Bruce, Brandon, you deal Lee!”

Dizaster defeats DNA

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Recap: An hour long battle with an unlimited 3rd, Dizaster versus DNA contains almost all the elements of battle rap that a true fan can appreciate: competitive throughout, nice freestyle darts from each side, fiery rebuttals, wily personals that brought out the old Grind Time days, rampant (“You gonna try an rebuttal everything I say, don’t act like you fucking not, but it’s cool, ‘cuz a good rebuttal means that I had to say something hot!”) boasts, righteous name flips, pointed impressions of each other, heavy-handed schemes, witty (Diz: “The day you beat me is the day everyone in Canada considers Snow an actual Rasta!:) barbs and a shitload of nifty punchlines. That said, after a more angle-prepped and versatile DNA edges the 1st round, minus way one too many mentions of Cortez, it’s a more consistently punch-heavy Dizaster who makes a comeback and takes the latter two rounds for the win.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Dizaster – “Two-thirds of his life has been a root canal!”

B. Magic defeats M. Ciddy

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Synopsis: B. Magic all day and that even includes one of the best saves you’ll see from a near choke. Then too, as much passion as M. Ciddy puts into his bars, more often then not they just don’t match (“everything you say is a joke, you Dave Spade” and basically his entire 2nd round) the aggression. In addition, there’s nonsensical drama like claiming B. Magic stole his style(?!?) and trying to dap him in the middle of your round right after that infamous Hollow/Hitman battle (even if he really was gonna smack his hand, who’d fall for that?). Meanwhile, Magic just stayed consistent throughout and stuck to script, landing continual punchline haymakers (“B. Magic hit ya’ back up, Plan B.”) and a steady stream of dope name flips to easily take the win.

Verdict: B. Magic (W) 2-1

Best line: B. Magic – “If I don’t fire the clip I was gone off the Henny, took time to battle my son, I put on for my Ciddy (city)”

E-Hart defeats Ms. Fit

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Recap: Ms. Fit and E-Hart go toe-for-toe in a highly entertaining batting on the Queen of the Ring stage. Probably the closest Hart has come to losing at this point, as despite some filler here and there Ms. Fit’s witty (“And what’s the ‘E’ stand for anyway, Eric? Elgin? Elvis? Edwin? [points at Hart and smiles]…Edmund?”) performance bars and jaunty (“See, I grew up in a home you get your shit pushed front if you ain’t fight back, so while your granny was screaming ‘Get in the crib before shit get worse’, my daddy was screaming ‘You better hit that bitch first!'”) angles equaled Hart’s caustic “(Ms. Fit did this…man stop fronting, when it comes to heat play, she’s Tre’ like ‘let me out I’m not coming'”) wordplay and sharp (“You expect me to believe that you be letting your Tek blow, when you aspire to be a nigga named Ernesto?”) one-liners in rounds 1 and 3. So it’s the second round that made the difference here as Hart stayed with an aggressive flow that combined with dope braggadocio (“You got a little bit of heart, but it’s Micro soft, if we heard you moving that Game boy we in your pockets like a Dx, P.S. it ain’t a Game Boy!”) bars that consistently scored and outperformed a shorter round by Ms. Fit that was doubly hit and miss.

Verdict: E-Hart (W) 2-1

Favorite line: E-Hart – “I don’t respect you for one reason, you send your bitch to get the pads when you be the one bleeding!”)

Charron defeats Forkfarm

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Recap: OK, so perhaps we should believe it when opera singer/battle rapper Forkfarm says he’s not Jewish. But damn were all those Jewish punchlines from Charron incredibly stinging. Put those over-the-top racial barbs alongside a host of piercing fat jokes and other well-equipped schemes/punches over the course of 3 rounds and it’s a 30 for That Kid Charron.

Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charron – “You’re so fat you got your stomach stapled…to a fucking table!”

Danja Zone defeats Logic

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Recap: Danja Zone utilizes aggressive schemes, swift punchlines and some pretty entertaining wit to finesse his way past a nice here and there, but inconsistent Logic.

Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Danja Zone – “I’ll tell her, give me what I want and let that man wife you and you gonna gimme the bitch like Denzel asking for that damn rifle!”

QP (Qleen Paper) defeats Rosenberg Raw

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Synopsis: After a couple of one-sided rounds (which included, at the end of QP’s round one, what might’ve been the best promo line in SMACK history) with each rapper taking one, QP skates through the third round of this battle determined to throw in as many personals (“Now everybody walk around this bitch screaming ‘Free Bill Collector”, at least now he around some real bars!”), jokes (“At first I was like where the fuck they get this corn from, come to find out they only put him on because he Norbez son”) and storytelling bars as possible to get the win while maintaining all the hype he built up early on in his battle career. Rosenberg, as too often the case, didn’t weave enough of a last round to stand a chance.

Verdict: QP (W) 2-1

Best line: QP – “But look cunt, You gonna take this loss like I’m giving you a fat ass kush blunt, that’s the perfect L”

Daylyt defeats Cocky

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Synopsis: Guess this battle didn’t come with a time limit as Daylyt rhymes for like 5 minutes while Cocky, seemingly with somewhere to get to in a hurry, goes for only a couple. And while Cocky had some hilarious (“Nigga you couldn’t hang with me if we got lynched together”) bars, his round, tho short, would’ve needed to be more condensed with straight heat after heat in order to give him the win here over a more creative (“That bitch drier [dryer] than the side of a washer machine”) and clearly verbose Daylyt on this one.

Verdict: Daylyt (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Daylyt – “Dip and see more niggas behind you then a Johnny Cage kick”

Young Kannon defeats Sco

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Recap: An exhilarating 2nd round from Young Kannon is the main highlight here in this 3-roundr from URL/Smack. With YK’s more condensed and stronger bars taking the 1st and Sco edging the 3rd with slightly more hardbody lines, overall it’s a vic for the Chicago native.

Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Young Kannon – “You getting fried and cooked nigga…Crisco, you got cookies and you got robbed, now that’s Nabisco!”

Jaz the Rapper defeats Chayna Ashley

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Synopsis: Besides QB, no female battle rapper comes better prepared than Jaz the Rapper. Not saying that Jaz doesn’t suffer from the rare slip-up (and sure some of her bars can be hit or miss), but when it comes to consistency, there might be no one better. Such is the case here against a worthy opponent in Chayna Ashley, where after a wasted 1st round (writing your best bar for Ms. Fit instead of Jaz?!?) from Dot Mob’s 1st lady, Jaz straight spazzes with both wicked personals and bars (“How you do it? Get them gloves, we could fight, right nigga? Against Jaz with one ‘z’, but you gonna get two or three once you go night, night, nigga”). Round two sees Chayna come back heavy with a barrage of mean one-liners (“That’s what your moms blessed you with? Magenta B—, spell shit with a ‘j’ cuz’ G’s don’t run in ya family”) and haymakers (“Turn heroes to pussies when they draw, no thundercats”). But just when you think Chayna might steal a round Jaz matches her steez by reloading her arsenal, dropping disrespectful bars (“Cuz’ since I started battling I got a lot of kids, Now I think I’m  Dakishi bitch, and I enjoy showing my as in this ring, now I’m Rikishi bitch”) and more killer personals (“But see Chayna don’t really get none so she always hope for sex, and it’s ironic that niggas don’t wanna slap, they just want that open neck”). Hit the 3rd round and after a slow start Chayna does a nice name flip, but couldn’t build from there as a repeated visit from Earl doomed her into literally giving the win to Jaz, who still finishes her off with another nice round of feel-good personals, a live impression, steady jokes and stifling bars. Yeah, she does this.

Verdict: Jaz the Rapper (W) 3-0

Best line: – Jaz the Rapper: “Bitch, your favorite show is Man vs. Food and you masturbate to Cake Boss“

TheSaurus defeats Charron

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Recap: Veteran emcee and two-time Scribble Jam champion TheSaurus serves up a spicy dish of boastful darts and nifty punches/flips/rebuttals in each of the 3 rounds here against a less-potent Charron to catch (besides a debatable 3rd) an easy win from this KOTD Proud2BEhBattleMC WD2 battle.

Verdict: TheSaurus (W) 2-1

Favorite line: TheSaurus – “You want to be what I was in 2005!”

T-Rex defeats Conceited

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Synopsis: The Punchline King vs. Grown Man Bars. Just don’t let all the hate from anti-Dot Mob crowd fool you. While Conceited’s first round was crazy, I thought Rex edged it by amply taking on Con’s lack of street cred as well as a “resume” that fails to come close to matching all the gun talk Con loves to spit. Then while Con’s 2nd round lacked the consistency and punches that he’s widely known for (too bad for Con that the crowd hadn’t quite gotten his “Slow It Down’s” just yet, but then too they weren’t hitting that hard anyway), Rex came through with a superb “Con” scheme that was just mean (esp. that Kanye line) and hitting throughout. 3rd round was way too long and tepid for both of ’em, so give Rex the ‘W’ for taking both of the early rounds.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Best line: Conceited – “When you rhyme like that, with no punchlines and just spit about throwing them flames out, that style is like Benjamin Buttons, that shit was over when it came out”

John John da Don defeats T Money Bagz

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Synopsis:  Nice battle, close throughout, both Money Bagz and John John da Don went in. However, I just think JJDD edged it with more versatility, and consistency along with better punchlines.

Verdict: John John da Don (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JJDD – “…You that nigga on the roof giving signals for the cops, your nickname is ‘Teapot’ you just whistle when it’s hot!”

Charron and Rone [TIE]

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Recap: Two-round battles have never made any sense to me. But it’s even worse when they happen during a tournament as this Charron vs. Rone matchup does what with Charron out-punching a pretty subpar Rone in the 1st to take that round before Rone returns the favor in round 2 for a tie. Yet, somehow in one of those rare moments where an overtime round would’ve been the proper thing to do, the judges give the win to Charron instead.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Rone – “Just like my shirt I’m a monster off the head!”

Calicoe defeats Math Hoffa

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Synopsis: Call this an upset because at the time of this battle there was nothing on Calicoe resume that could’ve made you even guess that he could pull off this total dismantling of Math Hoffa. From the superb “golddigger” bar to stepping in Math’s grill with the “Dose” line to taking shots at Math’s NYB crew to calling out Loaded Lux in round 3, Calicoe puts on a total show with an all-around dope performance featuring hot bars and wicked (“What you ’bout 6’6″?, It don’t even matter you still a big bitch”) personals. Of course, Math would later try to blame this on the crowd rooting for the ‘underdog’ and him going through some drama that morning. But no one told Math to try and punk Calicoe early in his 1st round, much less dress up like the Unabomber for a battle. But whatever, in setting up his upcoming battle against Loaded Lux, Calicoe just used Math Hoffa like a rag doll and that’s what you call a “landslide”, indeed.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Calicoe – “Straight disrespect talk to all of ya men reckless, my chrome, man that bitch keep banging more that Karrine Steffans”

Cruger defeats Charron

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Recap: Weird seeing Charron with so few rebuttals, but either way don’t know if they would’ve made a difference as after a debatable 1st round, UK challenger Cruger’s deft humor, mocking personals and nifty punchlines do enough to take both of the latter rounds for the win in this altogether competitive matchup from KOTD.

Verdict: Cruger (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cruger – “You’re the only person who carries fake ID that says you’re younger!”

Charlie Clips defeats Aye Verb

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Recap: Arguably URL’s most-hyped bodybag features Aye Verb against a Charlie Clips making his first appearance since his legendary battle versus Tay Rock. Honestly, I didn’t even think Clips was that great here (pretty good, but not at his best which says a lot about the standard Clips has set for himself) as much as Verb was just that bad and decidedly corny, clearly writing rhymes that’d get him through the night so he could pick up his paycheck, smirk at the “fools” who paid good money to watch this one-sided affair and quickly bounce back home to St. Louis. To think, for all the claims of a “biased crowd” Verb made after this battle, even Stevie Wonder could see that the crowd more than gave a Verb a chance to spit his bars without interruption. And did Verb really think he had any chance of winning with lame lines like “How the fuck you gonna have all that Harlem flash and you got just toilet swag?” or “All I ask for is that you pay respect and start every round like A…I O U, nigga make sure you go vowel on me”?!? I mean, even the people in Verb’s entourage were struggling to root him on, undoubtedly because even Robert DeNiro couldn’t pull off getting hype to Verb’s weak bars. As a matter of fact props to the guy hollering “Time!” halfway through Verb’s rounds, he seemed to be the only one in the crowd to notice that everyone around him was being robbed.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “So what I’m supposed to believe? You a gangsta? You bust and squeeze gats? or you fly chrome when it look like your iPhone got a ‘Just For Me’ app?

Swave Sevah defeats QP

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Synopsis: Swave Sevah’s reputation for administering bodybags was put on full display here. As the Team Homi capo tosses aside QP’s slick wordplay/punches and jokes with a plethora of righteous bully talk, rigid name flips, raucous punchlines, a classic 2nd round tutorial (‘Tell ’em…’) on exposing your opponent and witty barbs to boot. And with Sevah scoring even when breaking down his own bars, this Grind Time battle would become a one-sided affair with the more versatile and consistently hitting Swave handily taking all 3 rounds rounds over his topsy-turvy opp..

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Best lines: Swave Sevah – “You waste of a SON, you that nut that should’ve bust on some titties!”