No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: 3 rounds plus OT freestyle battle on KOTDC sees the brash and often witty snaps from Aak keep him in the game. But a smoother-flowing and more consistent Big Kannon, also nice with the flips and more versatile with the punchlines, gives BK the win.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 3-1
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “He won the coin toss and that’ll be the last time he getting head!”
Recap. Rare is the battle that’s decided by who was worse, but that’s the case here as both Prophit and Millennium L’s prove the old adage of ‘saying a lot, but not talking nothing’ can certainly be true. Whether it’s Millennium L’s lame (“44’s in hand, I’m a serial killer nigga I’m coming for the gold and grams”) rhymes and weak jokes or Prophit’s lukewarm (“And I ain’t come here to start with you, but you need to save that grilling shit for a barbeque”; “See I spit swell, so sick I never get well”) bars, it’s a wonder neither of these guys ever battled again on Smack. And while Prophit’s usage of ‘N’ word is what this battle will be remembered for, save for round 1 Millenium L’s wordplay and bar quotient was so underwhelming that Prophit’s ability to spout a couple of nice bars and make it through his latter rounds without choking got him the win.
Verdict: Prophit (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Millenium L’s – “In my hood they drive by [pow!] ‘move hater!’, in hi shood it’s like [phhheeeww] ‘Honey it’s the newspaper'”
Recap: K-Shine puts together three consistent rounds of rapid heat, addressing Shotgun Suge’s issues with weight, flinging gun (“Call that .40 Lil Kim, it’s a wig rocker!”) bars with random ease and zipping up his opponent’s attacks with stinging (“…try to make a little movie like his career was pumping, but still ain’t get nowhere, he Gravy, playing BIG for nuthin'”) schemes, jokes and heavy wordplay. Credit Suge for staying close (“I’m from the South, I’m ’bout that, I’mma put on a show, keep playing the barrels is long nigga, Beef?, I come to this battle shooting everybody, even the wrong niggas”) the first couple of rounds, talking that real shit with an aggressive flow and Jersey anecdotes, but a somewhat surprising choke midway through his 3rd round cost him any chance of taking this one.
Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1
Favorite line: K-Shine – “He think he Big Meech! Larry Hoover! He holding heat! But he’s not the shooter”
Recap: Entertaining battle to say the least with SK delivering steady (“Probably got shirts and shit with other niggas bitches and names on ’em and they ain’t dead or famous, just got other niggas bitches and names on ’em”) jokes, while B Magic brought rapid punchlines and winning name flips. SK did well, but overall Magic’s more consistent flow and execution gets him the win.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B Magic – “Took your bitch overseas, but wait it gets scarier, we fucked her on the plane, she was cummin’ [Coming] to America”
Recap: As loud, boisterous, personals and able to pull off some off-the-dome heat as his opponent, UK rapper Sensa makes Dizaster’s Don’t Flop debut a competitive one. But Diz’s penchant for adding humor to his overexcited mix along with a flair for more buoyant anecdotes/personals, spicy rebuttals and head-ringing punchlines/mayhem, gives him both of the opening rounds before a debatable 3rd.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’ll fucking take your bitch and bust semen on her reading glasses!”
Recap: Despite consistently aggressive rhyme styles from both, DNA versus New Haven, CT rapper Gage, outside of DNA’s 2nd round, fails to impress. For Gage, a frenetic delivery of okey-doke (“This nigga take dick in his ass, he like Raz B!”) personals and righteous gun diction, is too often followed up by simplistic lines that failed to land. Yet, bar-wise, DNA didn’t (“Stick my dick in his girl’s pussy, she’ll be screaming ‘owww!’ like Max B.”) differentiate himself much from his opponent, but was versatile enough and scored (“Ask Gage if he got beef and he like ‘nah, my taco’s finished!'”) more with his punches to edge the round. Round two saw DNA step it up with a steady mix of sizzling personals and earnest street chatter, while Gage stayed congruent with some nice schemes that unfortunately, were overshadowed by more plain (“I got 9 lives, I’m a cat, you a kitten, when there’s beef in the club he don’t bang. he just keep sitting”) speak. Gage easily managed to save face in round three, delivering feelgood (“Y’all Grind Time niggas is fags, you get your dayton on, you claim you getting bread, but you can’t even keep your cable on!”) personals, nice schemes and hitting punchlines with ease, while DNA, probably feeling confident that he already won the battle, pretty much gave up the round with a weak opening rebuttal and more ordinary bars that you wouldn’t associate with the likes of the up-n-coming Queens battler.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “His chick like margarine, we like everything but her [butter]”
Recap: Mostly free-styling throughout this battle with a couple of nice rebuttals mixed in, a gritty Ill Will still manages to keep it close in this 3-rounder from Mic Murdaraz TV. But opponent Squeeze, spouting a fly punchline game while also dishing some fierce name flips and personals here and ther, takes the first two rounds before a debatable 3rd, for the win.
Verdict: Squeeze (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Squeeze – “I’m the type to boo you at ya show when you get your concert on, oh you a jackboy why?, ‘cuz that palm work strong?!”
Synopsis: This was unfair, a mismatch from jump with Soul Khan fierce punchlines, potent personals and witty flair totally overwhelming an out-of-his-league J. Fox. Not that it didn’t help any that J. Fox wasn’t just trying to rap on another coast, but against a crowd favorite (who knows how to play to the hometown fans) with pedestrian bars, schemes and personals that would’ve fallen flat no matter where this battle took place.
Verdict: Soul Khan (W) 3-0
Best line: Soul Khan – “After this his chick’s gonna go back to soul’s sack, because you the only dude to make a chick go black then go back”
Recap: The one battle O-Red probably wishes he could wipe off his resume as he not only gets out-barred by opponent Swave Sevah throughout the match, but he rather embarassingly chokes in both the 1st and 3rd rounds. Swave, continually bullish and on top of his game from round 1, also does an excellent job here of playing to the crowd, all the while using a gang of stifling personals, fire breakdowns and hard-hitting punchlines to dig up what was ultimately a body.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “The bitch type, see, in beef I make nigga’s bleed and leave scars, in beef you wait till nigga’s leave and key cars!”
Instant classic: “There’s no crying in the URL” (from female fan in crowd)
Synopsis: A highly anticipated matchup (with both battlers bringing their A-game when it came to promoting this battle) on URL Hitman ended up taking pretty easy, this battle remains noteworthy to this day. First, there’s a filler-prone Arsonal, partly stuck in GrindTime mode (jokes over bars, with too many of them coming off as lame here) while also struggling with his similes (to think, it would take awhile for him to get over ‘squidwords clarinet’), jokes, longwindedness and disrespectful zingers to the point that the Jersey crowd booed him in the 3rd round (ironically, his best round where is scored here as debatable after Holla clearly took rounds 1 and 2). Secondly, Hitman’s more direct, short and condensed rounds was on point here as nary a bar was wasted. Finally, overall Hitman just had better punches, crowd control/storytelling/performance (esp. the classic Arsonal/T-Rex story arc in rd. 2), jokes, personals and to top it off, a killer opening/mid-round freestyle: “His homeboy keep talking while I’m rapping, not cool!, the contact said I can’t hit this nigga, not you!” And two words after that…ball game.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Best line: Hitman Holla – “Talking about you ran blocks…nigga in your school but you wouldn’t run traffic lights!”
Recap: Another competitive goodie here from Don’t Flop as Deffinition’s loud/raucous lines, teacher/life-as-a-Caucasion jokes and solid punches made their mark. But an ever-confident Real Deal, showing off some dope wordplay (esp. when it came to mixing local UK references), wicked personals and a flexing punch game throughout the battle, does enough to earn the 3-0.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “You let another man just hit you in the face?!, God you are such a bitch, if I punched your faggot ass right now…you’d probably rebuttal it!”
Synopsis: Despite getting wrecked in the 2nd round by S.O.N.S. teamster Brixx Belvedere, M. Ciddy edges the 1st (“I let 8 off on you and I ain’t Jewish, and let Brixx [bricks] disappear like Frank Lucas”) and 3rd rounds to take this one at the end by a nose.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brixx Belvedere – “Don’t question my rank, you asking a boss, he get the same face my dentist get when they ask if I floss”
Recap: Can’t recap this battle without mentioning how funny it is seeing white people walking past outside wondering what the fuck is going on in there. That said, spazzing left and right with heated urban colloquialism’s, aggressive braggadocio bars, graphic schemes and fierce punchlines, a righteous and aggressive K-Shine, takes the first two rounds to win this one before Tay Roc salvages the 3rd round with more potent heat and more gut-wrenching/wittier bars.
Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1
Favorite line: K-Shine – “Run up on his whip, leave a stained dash, change masks ‘cuz I’m overloaded like Aaliyah in the plane crash!”
Recap: Nice, versatile and rebuttal-savvy effort from A-Class in this KOTD 3-rounder gets beat by a Charron who after taking the 1st round and getting out-punched in the 2nd, just had too many spicy punchlines and hilarious Asian jokes at his dispensary for his opponent to survive the deciding 3rd.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “Believe me, everyone here is aware of your size, when your girl asks for 8 inches, you fuck her 4 times!”
Recap: Resident fat jokes in round 1, but they still had enough meat to hit. And that along with some nifty punchlines/personals that when coupled up with a flow-challenged Syd Vicious having to cut his 2nd round short, gives John John Da Don the win in this entertaining 3-rounder from Grind Time.
Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John Da Don – “Try to play da Don and John will put a Hollow in you, I would say body bag, but I don’t know what size to get you!”
Recap: Grind Time Now East-coast battle between Ms. Fit and Fendi goes Fit’s way as despite Fendi showing off a flexible flwo and hitting with some spicy bars here and there, Fit’s raw ability to pounce on her opponent with piercing punchlines, witty personals and a couple of mocking freestyles proved to be too much for 3 rounds in the end.
Verdict: Ms. Fit (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ms. Fit – “You work at iHop, yeah I know you work at iHop, waiting for a tip giver, so you don’t pop guns and blam .8’s when you asking nigga’s what they want on they pancakes!”
Recap: After getting off to a strong start in the 1st round here in this 3-rounder from Queen of the Ring against Dutchess, the always gritty, lit with the personals and usually consistent Ms. Fit surprisingly succumbs to a 2nd round choke before losing the 3rd round (and the battle) to a more mayhem-drenched and punch-heavy opponent.
Verdict: Dutchess (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dutchess – “And y’all nigga’s is bugging if you think she did her thing, her manly ass was supposed to battle at King of the Ring!”
Recap: Through the first couple of rounds this was a pretty dope battle, what with DNA edging round 1 with mean (“It’s crazy cuz’ those 4 shots ain’t do as much damage as that one Hollow”/”We all respect the shooter not who gets shot”) bars on Big T getting shot, nice punchlines and winning (“You got the swag of my grandmother, old, dirty and wear the same shit!”) personals. While Big T used hilarious performance (“He got that ‘Reason Why I Tell’ face, Well? cuz he don’t wanna go to jail face”) bars, personals and hard-hitting (“Man, she talk about sucking my dick so much I thought I was in the Army during our last date, cuz’ every time we talked it was about face”) anecdotes to take round 2. Both came kind of light in round 3, but Big T wins with a roundhouse of jokes, rich (“Every day I have bullets hitting close to home like a touchy subject”) bars. nice set-ups and steady personals as opposed to DNA’s round of one-third filler and self-deprecating bars that sounded like they were inspired from Eminem’s final round in 8 Mile.
Verdict: Big T (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big T – “Nigga, how you ugly and soft?”
Synopsis: This battle reminds me a little bit of Conceited’s match against Goodz, in particular Con’s inability to freestyle a bar on Goodz soaking wet armpits, which were there just begging to be styled on. But when you’re a freestyle champ like AR-16, styling on an obvious target like KP’s aesthetics not only comes too easy, but gives you an extra bullet to work with. Too bad for KP, who after a stellar first round just delivered a host of vanilla bars in rounds 2 and 3 that left you snoozing, allowing AR to catch up, go beastmode and take the W.
Verdict: AR-16 (W) 2-1
Favorite line: AR-16 – “I could say anything, because you didn’t say nothing”
Recap: A steady stream of nimble bars from his opponent like “I say I got the juice and this nigga Kool Aid, son you mad sweet” allows Dizaster to bring ‘Saddam out the cave’ and go ham with a barrage of glistening freestyles, strong personals, off-the-wall (“I bet your father looks like a Somalian Rob Reiner”) jokes and wild punchlines to add a bodybag to his resume with the headline titled “Jerzy Swift”.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “You’re so wack, after your last round even the crickets were in the background like ‘What the fuck?!'”
Synopsis: To me, this is the road Shotgun Suge should’ve stayed on: spitting bars for pure shock value (“Beef? I’ll have Detroit looking like fuckin’ Port-au-Prince”) that other battle rappers probably wouldn’t even think of to say. That could’ve established Suge’s signature, given him a pedigree to build off of and maybe even make him more creative lyrically. Then too, I’m a believer that when it comes to battles, topic-wise nothing besides talking about people no longer living or a rapper’s kids, should be considered off-limits. That’s this battle will always be remembered for the way-over-the-top Proof (R.I.P.) bars, but besides that it was Suge’s steady aggression and scandalous bars that gave him round one. Yet it was Calicoe who stepped it up and out-barred Suge in rounds 2 and 3 to gain a close win.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Best line: Calicoe – “To hell is where these lames wanna send me, [but] with these 4-5’s I ain’t giving you change for a twenty”
Synopsis: Nice suit and a debatable first round, but a couple of slip-ups won’t give you a chance against the likes of Soul Khan.
Verdict: Soul Khan (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Soul Khan – “The only thing on your bucket list is original recipe”
Recap: Well, here’s a battle that SHOULD have went to OT as Charron’s stinging rebut’s and hitting personals easily got him round 1 of this KOTD freestyle battle, while Knamelis’ more consistent and punch-heavier 2nd got him that round. The ridiculous idea that Organik would ask both emcee’s if they want to do an OT promo AFTER the judge’s decision (which went to Knamelis) instead of making this a 3-rounder in the first place shouldn’t be lost on anyone.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Charron – “And after this I’m dropping insane, if you’re the Netherlands, call me Spain!”
Synopsis: Even without a prepared 3rd, QB has enough potent bars (“You in the ring with a monster, I dare you to look under that bed”), aggressive lines and biting personals here to easily take the win.
Verdict: QB (W) 2-1
Favorite line: QB – “You got your hair flipped now you think that you fly, I know some Spanish twin bitches that’ll put the Nina to Sky”
Synopsis: Just because one can predict the themes your opponent will use against you doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll win (unless it’s been universally declared as played0 or much less counter. That said, while Fresco certainly had his moments (“Stop rapping and explain to me how Clear Eyes works”), overall, while predictable on the style matter, Soul Khan’s jokes, bars and personals (“….shhhh! You had me at Real Deal’!”) were just too much to overcome.
Verdict: Soul Khan (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Soul Khan – “He only came to battle because he heard it’d be a sausage fest”
Recap: In this rematch from their Scribble Jam battle a few years back, Real Deal gets some get back by out-punching The Saurus over of the course of 3 rounds in this competiive and witty 3-rounder from Grind Time.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “After all these years Pete I’m still astounded how your face looks, find it utterly ridiculous that you’re allowed on Facebook!”
Synopsis: 2nd round proved to be the difference here as while Juicezilla (“Cuz my whole team gone clap, like we breaking up the huddle!”) stayed consistent and matched Syahboy throughout his 1st and 3rd rounds, Syahboy really stepped it up in the middle round, dropping steady haymakers, upping his performance level and delivering rapid punchlines (“You a I get punked ‘my grandma gave me that chain nigga!”) to pull away and take the win.
Verdict: Syahboy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Syahboy – “I’ll give a nigga the 8 like his dimes is skimpy”
Â
Synopsis: This could easily go down as “debatable”, especially what with Swave predicting how Dizaster would deliver his bars in round 1. But in front of a hostile crowd (watch Swave’s people’s clearly attempting to punk Diz while he rhymed) with some nice freestyle’s mixed in throughout and slightly better punches in round 3, I edged it for Dizaster (who deserves props alone for going after some boo-birds in the audience).
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Best line: Dizaster – “If you and me had the same phone, I’d jack your charger!”
Instant classic – Cormega guest-hosting and Poison Pen’s big ass sandwich
Recap: In yet another KOTD battle that inexplicably went to overtime, a far more punch-heavier, rebuttal-friendly and name flip savvy Charron easily took the opening rounds of this semi-final tournament bout against a clearly over-matched lyrically Q and then somehow had to put a foot to his opponent’s neck upon being forced to kill him again in the OT.
Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charron – “Fuck the alphabet, I’m shitting on Q!”
Recap: Dope 1-rounder from Street Status between RemyD and B-Magic features plenty of boastful barbs, piercing punchlines, solid wordplay and witty shiners. And while both battlers delivered standout turns, a more set-up rich and haymaker-lit Magic gets the edge here.
Verdict: B-Magic (W) 1-0
Favorite line: B-Magic – “Like a Dodger better charge when you see me, your bitch said your Lil’ Jon couldn’t skeet-skeet!”
Recap: Here we find Young Kannon basically sticking to one (“Get you fucked up while I’m tuxed up, that Tommy out that white suit won’t be a Power Ranger”) script: 101 Ways To Bully and Kill O-Red. which worked towards the beginning, but for the most part got tired and repetitive towards the mid and later chapters. Meanwhile, O-Red’s consistency and versatility was stayed (“I’m five notches above God status!”) lofty with a rapid mix of entertaining (“Gotta clip that’ll Pick 6, I play the Lotto with the .8”) wordplay. bully bars, name flips and wicked punchlines to earn the win.
Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1
Favorite line: O-Red – “Hey Verb, he swagger-jacking your style, I just called him AdVerb and that faggot’s cracking a smile”
Synopsis: Sco not only brings back the infamous Young Black Teenagers, but combines witty personals (“He don’t get ass, he beat his dick like it owes him money”) with all-too-gritty bars to get an easy win over Hash 100s.
Verdict: Sco (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hash 100s – “I’m an NBA team when I put on this black face, start cutting niggas to free up some cap space”
Recap: Judges were pretty on point with this one as despite a dope effort from the always resilient and witty Charron, Chedda Cheese’s piercing multi-syllables, fiery personals, self-deprecating nerd narratives and stinging punchlines did just enough to edge both of the opening rounds for the win before a more consistently spicy Charron took the 3rd to avoid the shutout.
Verdict: Chedda Cheese (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chedda Cheese – “Don’t even bother trying to conjure up some intellect, you’re an adult who pretends to be a child…like your father on the internet!”
Recap: ‘It’s Dad!’ Philly Swain combines a bunch of piercing sound effects, some solid wordplay/similes, witty personals and bruising punchlines to beat back a so-so Passwurdz (who even when he hit on the right themes, couldn’t keep up when it came to the quality of his punches) in the 1st and 3rd rounds of a Grind Time battle that was a bit prescient in its undertaking.
Verdict: Philly Swain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Philly Swain – “They say that PH beat me, beg ya pardon?, when do they ever cheer for Jordan in Madison Square Garden?!”
Recap: Tech-9 puts on one of his better shows entertaining the crowd with consistently hilarious (“Plus you got your style from me stepson so pay respect to your dad, and stop sucking your teeth when I slap your mom on the ass”) bars and adept storytelling, while breaking down X-Factor’s steeze and street acumen. While X-Factor made it competitive at times, his choke in round 1, overall inconsistency and stumble in round 3 made this an easy win for the kid from Philly.
Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tech-9 – “All my dimes live and they all wanna fuck me, I tell them hoes close they eyes and pick a number to fuck me”
Synopsis: With all the tension in the room, it’s no wonder they cut this battle off so quick after AR’s last round. One can only hope they dapped it up in the end (I mean it’s a BATTLE people). Either way I got AR’s freestyles and jokes over Express Money’s mostly bland bars.
Verdict: AR-16 (W) 2-1
Favorite line: AR-16 – “For that cheesy bread, I kill ‘Lil Caesar & ya Papa John”
Recap: Old battle rap pals/adversaries Nocando and Dizaster matchup in a loud and highly entertaining clash that featured a whole lot of hitting personals, freestyles and wicked bars. Yet, for the most part (and most likely because they knew each other so well) it was Dizaster who seemed to be prepared for everything Nocando had to spit. After Nocando challenged his opponent’s realness (“You’re so much of a botch that if you ran away from home, you’d come home pregnant from the animal shelter”) and authenticity (“You could be a ghostwrider for Flo Rida”) in round 1, Diz rebutted hard with the “You so white bro, you sound like the ghostwriter fro Fort Minor” quip and went on to take the first round with wild anecdotes, winning (“James, whoever gave you your fashion tips, was on 800 acid hits”) personals and crowd-pleasing (“You been a skinny guy since Biggie died”) jokes. Nocando went completely left in round 2 with wild intergalactic tales, juicy personals, hard bars and some dope freestyles, but Diz edged the round with more hitting (“He keeps his pants tight like Kid Twist when it’s dance night”) personals, on-the-spot (”Yeah, go ahead predict the bar! That just shows and confirms the fact that even you know how much of a bitch you are!”) rebuttals and crazy performance bars. Nocando won the 3rd with probably the best lines (“You said I sniff coke with your homies, you have imaginary friends”, “Ooooh, that’s the face your girl makes every time I stick my dick in her, I’m like a constellation and she’s like the Big Dipper”) of the round, but overall too many slight stumbles, a lack of consistency and Diz’s more consistent passion, personal themes and aggression ended up costing him in the end in what was still a dope battle nonetheless.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “You are as dark as Marlon Wayays, but only because you’re also a White Chick”
Synopsis: Marvwon is probably the least appreciated of the Midwest battle rappers, but with enough years in the game he’s still a solid opponent capable of beating anyone on a good day. Unfortunately, on this day he ran into an all-too confident, consistent and passionate Cortez, who came prepared with a shitload of that ill shit, aesthetically-inclined personals (“This Rick Rock wannabee, not cuz’ you carry shooters, but because you ate Big Meech…AND Larry Hoover”) and nice enough wordplay to easily take the win after Marv edged the 1st.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Best line: Cortez – “Eight Mile, deleted scenes, he thought he was gonna get it in, tried to sneak a written past Marshall and swore he was gonna get a win, but Marshall free-styled and killed you my nigga, so again that battle was like your weight, bitch we knew you was never getting Slim”
Recap: Fiery schemes, righteous name flips, flexing punchlines and some conversational spiritual healing, for 3 rounds it’s all there for Big Kannon, making his debut on the URL stage versus a mostly pedestrian Moe Dirdee, a successful one.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “I say he wack and get me out the ring with this ho, I take a 100 proof straight…y’all bringing me Mo?!”
Recap: Getting better and better as his round proceeds B Magic whips out a whole lot of personals, rigid punchlines and haymakers to put a hurting on and catch a body against a clearly overmatched Profit.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 1-0
Favorite line: B Magic – “Beat your ass till my palm hurt, I shit on niggas like I didn’t know the john worked”
Recap: Short, 2-round freestyle battle between Charron and Bartone splits down the middle as a stronger {“I already beat you in the middle of pre-school!”) bar-wise and more consistent Bartone edged the 1st round before the witty/uber-personal styling’s of Charron easily took the 2nd.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Charron – “You’re not the Greatest of all Time (G.O.A.T.) ‘cuz you look like a goat!”
Recap: Who knew Earl didn’t actually make his first appearance in the Goodz vs. Hitman Holla matchup, but here as after coming back and making this match competitive in round 2, Loe Pesci pulls an epic choke so long that Organix literally had to let Real Deal lead off the final round. Yet, Pesci was somehow still allowed to spit his 3rd after Real Deal (who should’ve been able to spit a rebuttal for that 5-minute freeze)?!?…that shit doesn’t even count in my book.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “He’d leave Canada dry for a chance to be Americanized, trade his family curry for a slice of the American pie, check the ‘P’ on his cap, you fucking treasonous rat, you ask him where he’s from, he’s like ‘North America, let’s leave it at that'”
Synopsis: In a battle filled with hilarity Swave Sevah conducts a tutorial in career development, creativity, performance (the “candy bars vs. prison bars” narrative alone was fire) and personals to add another trophy to the shelf for Team Homi.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Syd Vicious – “Yo I’m a real nigga so I wouldn’t stand here and tell a boldface lie, but when you Google Swave Sevah the results say ‘Why?'”
Recap: Bronx versus Bronx sees a confident E-Hart totally annihilate Ladi Treez for 3 rounds with a steady stream of bully (“I’m from New York, but I’ll A-town stomp a bitch!”) bars, assertive street (“I’m from Cortlandt, and niggas know what we about, been in them streets since you was afraid to leave the house!”) chatter and rich schemes. Ladi Treez, who mostly freestyled her first round and clearly pulled her second from a song, never stood a chance when faced with Hart’s aggressive flow combined with gritty polemics.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 3-0
Favorite line: E-Hart – “Those was warning shots, next time I’m on ya block, and you won’t have a chance to call ya fam before they call the cops, then I’m off ya block, run and toss the glock and where you stand is where you land, that’s where they gonna pour Ciroc!”
Recap: Annoyed at the strength of his competition, Tay Roc punishes his subpar (and mixtape using too, judging from the girl in the back of him seemingly reciting his rhymes) opponent Ronnie G here for two rounds with a barrage of boastful punches, local Baltimore wordplay, rigid gun bars and stifling personals to catch a body and keep his hood on notice.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “I got extra weapons, I’ll leave ya brains on a wall, looking like some 3rd grader did some Etch a Sketch-ing!”
Recap: “I ain’t gonna rap about your background or origin”. Iron Solomon gets behind the wheel and immediately shifts to full throttle with former Da Band member E. Ness standing in the way, dropping (“See Ness makes music that’s blunt guts trash, so when he played his two hits for Puff, Puff passed”) haymakers on his career, landing with punchlines after (“Far as gangsters, you the biggest bitch of the century, this ain’t even my verse, I’m just reading the words to his Wikipedia entry”) punchlines and flexing hard with congenial wordplay and roundhouse bars to put this one away early. And yet the irony here is that while Iron got a 3-0, Ness prevented a body by actually performing pretty solid here, what with a poised flow that helped his delivery, spitting much less filler than you usually see from him and executing bars (“I call dap and doe like it’s John McEnroe, bout to serve his ass back to the White Rapper Show”) along with (“This faggot wear glasses, so fuck the scare tactics, y’all lookin’ at the next contestant on Fear Factor, so from this point on, and here after he should be B.F.Fs with the StairMaster”) personals with the confidence of a vet. That said, judging from Solomon’s over-the-top (“Cause I guess Michael Jordan always needs someone to dunk on, and if I ain’t the Jordan of the shit, there’s no one that’s closer”) cockiness on display throughout this battle, that this matchup would serve as the gist to his own demise a couple of years at the hands of Murda (hey it was Solomon who called him out at the end there) Mook, to some, would only serve him right.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “I know some spitting pythons who be getting they rhyme on, way better than E. Ness, my list is six guys long, the six men who recite songs better than you is Mysonne and the top five are Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan!”
Recap: P.C. lands a few (“I’ll give one hundred like Newports, I clutch pounds, when that cig smoke, your wig’s open, I don’t bust down”) punches against M. Ciddy in this Grind Time battle. But overall his way-too-slow, jaunty style leaves for too many lulls while including a choke that takes away any chance for him to stand up against Ciddy’s relentless punch (“Magazines that’s XXL, got bodies like eye candy”) game.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 3-0
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “Against Ciddy, it’s 4 plus 4 [.44] on the ceiling, you getting 8 [ate] up”
Recap: HFK does a pretty dope Dizaster impression and kicks some witty personals and jokes along the way. But in the 3-rounder from KOTD, a more consistent and performance-heavy Dizaster proves to be too much for his opponent, hitting HFK with quality freestyles, a gang of stinging racial wisecracks/personals, rich storytelling schemes and piercing/quick-witted punchlines to take all 3 rounds and get the vic.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “How the hell is Islam your religion when you spend Ramadan in the kitchen?!?”
Synopsis: Comical is the only way one could describe this match in what appears to be a hot as hell basement full of white T’s, phones ringing during the battle and an apparently high-as-f–k host in QOTR’s Vague. Pitting Sco’s ok rhymes vs. AR-16’s alright freestyle’s, it’s AR who displays enough comic relief to edge the first couple of rounds and claim another win.
Verdict: AR-16 (W) 2-1
Favorite line: AR-16 – “Let bullets out the clip, they longer than Osama bin Laden’s chin hair”
Recap: If you can get past the biased reactions and the clear fact that neither one of them did that well here, Ill Will geographically-suited freestyles easily surpassed Cash Eatin’s basic bars.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ill Will – “Running shit, manure company CEO”
Recap: Mackk Myron definitely has some (“Myron, any nigga that think he could beat him, get the steel in his face like a botox needle”) bars and thus might’ve made JC perspire a little bit, but overall JC proved to be too lyrical and cold with the schemes to be touched here.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “You set yourself up, worse than that Tiger Woods voicemail”
Recap: A couple of ex-best friends, Hollohan and Pat Stay, battling on the KOTD stage makes for a gang of mean personals, witty barbs and belittling narratives on what being a true friend means. A competitive dance throughout with some fierce punchlines from each battler thrown in, after splitting the first two rounds it’s a more consistently spicy Pat Stay who edges the deciding 3rd round for the win.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “And you say you write my shit? Yeah right, I can’t even show my raps to Jeff, shit I be telling him one of my new lines and he’d be like ‘hold up let me grab a pen!'”
Recap: KOTD 2-round freestyle battle between Charron and DSkinnz sees the former use some spicy personals and a handful of stinging 4-bar set-ups to take each round easy over his very pedestrian opponent.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Charron – “You gotta realize I’ll smash ya world, on the mic I stay high like Organik’s girl!”
Recap: Would love to see these two go at it today as Ms. Fit has improved so much since this battle. But still, besides a close middle round, QB clearly took rounds 1 and 3 to take this.
Verdict: QB (W) 2-1
Favorite line: QB – “You talking about my teeth, but your shits look like you’ve been chewing on cable boxes”
Recap: Grind Time is primarily known for knapsack rap so it’s interesting to see the likes of QP on here. Still, with nice performance bars, steady jokes on his opponent’s age and hot bars, even outside of URL, QP shows you what he’s capable of when he goes full throttle.
Verdict: QP (W) 3-0
Favorite line: QP – “So stop talking that ‘this chopper’ and ‘my gauge’, your grandkids my age, now what would they think if they saw you Corey?”
Recap: Honestly, not much to see here but a lot of gun bars and for the most part weak punchlines with little creativity. But somebody has to win and it was clearly Scripts. That said, if you can get through this battle without yawning you’re a batter man than me.
Verdict: Scripts (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Scripts – “I’ll let it ring in his ears so long….you can leave a voice mail!”
Recap: His punchline game almost always on (“Bang hammers in Court, I’m Carlton dad”) point, when M. Ciddy mixes it up with some nice jokes, wordplay and righteous name flips, as a mostly lackluster Supreme Court finds out here, he’s almost impossible to beat.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 3-0
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “Before you was a gay fag, on field trips your teacher wrote ‘Faggot’ on your name tag”
Recap: O-Red ends this one early with a crazy dope Uno (“It’s like I’m playing Uno when them Tek’s spit wild card, Red draw two, shoot, walk in reverse and make ya set skip”) scheme, which surrounded by constant fluorescent wordplay and aggressive, hard-hitting bars makes for an easy win against an overmatched Black Haze.
Verdict: O-Red (W) 3-0
Favorite line: O-Red – “That mag clap, you and your niggas better Aflac or get wetter than Goodz armpits at the last Smack”
Recap: While Murda Mook distractors can point to this battle versus Cardi as an example of Mook’s straightforward style not amounting to anything but simple rhyme (“You, a trash can in the winter, you’re cold garbage!”) patterns and repetitive angles, Murda’s rich (“You and your people’s like brothers? [crosses arms on chest] y’all could sleep with each other!”) performance and storytelling bars are not only potent, but easily enough to beat a (“ill turn ya hood into a ghost town, it’s like I stole Christmas, pushing white off the strip like a snow plow”) game, but clearly outmatched opponent whose basic lines shouldn’t have warranted an OT despite edging the 2nd round.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) OT
Favorite line: Murda Mook – “His bitch is a dummy, no wonder why she cheat on you, she could step in shit you’ll put her feet on you, I bet if she had a dick you’ll let her skeet on you!”
