No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: While Chuck Black came through with 3 solid, witty at times and gun bar-spazzing turns, in this Grind Time East battle versus Swave Sevah, the Harlem-nite’s rugged punches, mocking personals and boastful stunting were enough to take both of the opening rounds, before a debatable 3rd.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “See, you talk like you a wild cowboy, but where at?, Brokeback Mountain?!”
Recap: Jersey vs. Jersey sees longtime vet Moonface give Serius Jones a run for the money in this epic Fight Klub battle. Jones has some lapses throughout the battle, but is able to pull it out in overtime with wicked freestyles/bars on Moonface’s Montell Jordan lookalike homie and his opponent only buying out the bar “when he go to the gay club”.
Verdict: Serius Jones (W) OT
Favorite line: Serius Jones – “You was an ugly baby, so your mom’s used to ignore you!”
Synopsis: The judge on the phone summed it up best as Soul Khan sets a precedent with another easy win over Rhapsodist.
Verdict: Soul Khan (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Soul Khan – “I know I’m Jewish but we can work this out, I’m the Fiddler on the Roof of your girlfriend’s mouth”
Recap: Against a mediocre punching and free-styling A Shaw, Real Deal has an easy time of it, using a gang of piercing punchlines, witty/rigid personals, fierce name flips and even a dope 2nd round rebuttal to score a 3-0 in this 3-rounder from Grind Time.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “I make moves across the country, he’s stuck in Indy…nobody wants to listen to a tree-hugging hippie!”
Synopsis: Good battle, but frustrating to see a vet like Swain talk over Hollow’s bars like that. Always nice to see Hollow’s rebuttals, but Swain’s “It’s Dad” scheme was pretty nice and funny too. Overall, way more punches, bars and freestyles from Hollow to get him the win.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 3-1
Best line: Hollow da Don – “Naw I aint no wrestling dude, that k come out, chest chop, that’s a wrestling move”
Part 2
Synopsis: Probably the lowlight of Cortez’s battle career. Against the then-106 & Park Freestyle champ, Cortez uses aggressive bars and nice punchlines to ably take the lead on a weak and very rusty Kay M. However, just when he’s on his way to an easy win, he slips up bad in the 3rd round and forces O.T. After another weak round from Kay M, Cortez start off nicely, but this time he doesn’t just slip-up, he chokes, giving his opponent a win he clearly didn’t deserve.
Verdict: Kay M (W) OT
Favorite line: Cortez – “His nickname’s Weezy, head game’s crazy, he licks the lollipop, he loves kissing babies”
Recap: Two rounds, but not sure how seriously a prep-lacking Triune took the 2nd. That’s neither nor there when it comes to Dizaster tho as the L.A. battler coasted with a gang of witty personals and piercing punches to take each round for the win.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I love the word bitch because if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t know what to call you!”
Recap: Word War ’09 battle hosted by Aye Verb with a couple of aggressive St. Louis spitters in Hitman Holla and Cashola going at it for two rounds. Cashola was steady with a harsh delivery/flow that linguistically delivered (“I’ll catch this nigga in a city street, sliding with his little groupie freak, open the back door, put the gun to his son head and blow his little ass out the booster seat!”) well at times, but more often than not his wordplay was pretty generic and average. On the other hand Hitman’s versatility shined in both rounds, if it wasn’t witty (“You wasn’t even on my menu, you remind of broccoli”) personals, it was robust storytelling bars, potent gun lines and solid (“Claim you a pit bull, but see me and you won’t even bark”) punchlines that got him the win.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I’m quickly gonna turn this reality into a movie, play dumb, start killing these niggas, Officer Doofy”
Round 2
Round 2 1/2 & 3
Recap: A confident Big T doesn’t let the away crowd get him flustered, using some exquisite wordplay, brash (“Boy, don’t you ever come to me like I’m some small time…all these angry pits with me, you ain’t must seen that dog sign!”) heavy hitters and formidable gun bars to overwhelm and easily take out H-I, who’s penchant for (“This nigga knowing that I’m hot, the devil told me to chill”) elementary rhymes gave him little chance of winning throughout.
Verdict: Big T (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Big T -“You ain’t from ATL, but you’ll get your team stumped, I’ll knock A-town down if I’m holding this piece [peace] up!”
Recap: Young Gattas (aka Blaze) 1st appearance on Grind Time and I gotta go with the judges on this one as while opponent Pryceless came with some solid personals to edge round 1, in the latter rounds Gattas would up her off-the-dome acumen, spout some flexing punchlines and with the help of Pryceless’ bar efficiency going downhill with each passing round, get the win in the end.
Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young Gattas – “You said I don’t have titties, it’s not my fault your titties is bigger than mines!”
Recap: Dishing out so much mayhem on a guy who came through at the last minute to battle you probably won’t make you any new friends. But for Cortez, we’re sure that this 3-round Grind Time trashing of a clearly over-matched Jazzy Tech was strictly professional.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “Fools like him only celebrate on April 1st!”
Recap: This 3-rounder from Grind Time finds the more crispy punching and witty Locksmith edging the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win versus a mostly pedestrian Passwordz.
Verdict: Locksmith (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Locksmith – “You thought you wouldn’t lose but your nigga’s probably did, they got ypu fucked up in the head like Whitney and Bobby’s kids!”
Recap: It’s an easy win for Yung Ill here against a filler-prone RemyD, as Ill not only dispenses gritty (“How you rap about committing crimes…chill, you couldn’t do penitentiary time behind mini-blinds!”) street lines with aggressive consistency, but fiery punchlines.personals and an early “Gun So Big…” bar that showed how much the creative juices were flowing.
Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Yung Ill – “Catch ya at the laundromat, your son by ya…they gonna be like ‘Damn, how he fit two bodies in one dryer!'”
Recap: Two rounds and only 30 seconds to rap in each aren’t for everyone as Nuborn clearly shows here, almost choking away his first before dishing pretty standard bars in the second and still complaining about not having time to rap. Loaded Lux, on the other hand, in what would be his final BET Freestyle Friday match, came equipped with his usual flair of braggadocio punchlines and fiery personals. Altogether, not Lux’s A-game, but more than enough heat to beat a way-less-prepared opponent.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Right now you couldn’t fight yourself out of a wet paper bag with a razor!”
Recap: No doubt about it, the Saurus gets robbed here. The 2-time Scribble Jam champ equating Dizaster on quality punchlines, wit and personals, but edging the 1st round thanks to a Diz slip-up. Then after a debatable 2nd round, a more condensed The Saurus edges the 3rd with a steadier flow as well as one more haymaker. Yet another unnecessary OT from Grind Time was equally subpar on both sides, which makes that round a draw.
Verdict: The Saurus (W) 2-0-2
Favorite line: The Saurus – “We understand you’re faking, your from a land that’s vagrant, where fucking camel racing is known as public transportation!”
Recap: Both battlers bouncing around the stage a lot because apparently that’s you did if you were a battle rapper back in the late 2000’s, The Saurus uses a fierce punch game in addition to some killer rebuttals to take both rounds for the win in this 2-round Scribble Jam matchup.
Verdict: The Saurus (W) 2-0
Favorite line: The Saurus – “Can’t give you all the credit, ‘cuz that Rice-a-Roni line was hotter when Solomon said it!”
Recap: Equipped with a gang of flexing punchlines and funny jokes to offset his opponent’s witty barbs/personals and sexual innuendo’s, Passwurdz does more than enough to take each round and earn a 30 over Illusion-Z in this 3-rounder from Grind Time.
Verdict: Passwurdz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “When you were born your family piled 15 deep up in a Prius!”
Recap: It doesn’t get much better than this as Head Ice puts it down for Harlem by taking out not just one, but two (granted the 2nd dude in the red cap who took the OT round came way better than the guy he replaced, Tye Knots) CT spitters with in-your-face aggressive rhymes, fierce (“You sleep, I’m still bombing, Pearl Harbor nigga”) punches and hard-hitting bars. Indeed, a handicap match like this would probably intimidate most heads, but as Ice proves here it’s just another day at the office.
Verdict: Head Ice (W) 4-0
Favorite line: Head Ice – “I know some wheelchair niggas that legs move, when it comes to the drama..you run…they shoot!”
Synopsis: Not much to see here except some early schemes by Cortex, him choking in the 3rd round and Iron Solomon in the back serving as timekeeper.
Verdict: Cortez 2-1
Best line: Complex – “I remember beating Cortez back in the day when I played Crash Bandicoot”
Synopsis: It’s easy to forget that Murda Mook’s (along with braggadocio rhymes on how nice he is) forte has always been about breaking down nigga’s. And here he does just that against a clearly outclassed Yung Hot, using menacing personals, funny storytelling and wicked bars to take out his frustration on having to face a “3rd-string replacement”.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 3-0
Best line: Murda Mook – “And I do think I’m the greatest, I believe in the hype, that’s why every time you hear me I compare me to Mike, example, remember A.I. crossed Mike out his sneakers?, it seem so much worse cuz’ we ain’t think Mike had a weakness, offa’ that one move A.I. gothis fame, [but] they forgot Jordan had 35 and still won that game!”
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Synopsis: Did Jay Focus really think he was going somewhere with this style? Appreciate Hollow’s freestyle’s here in what was a punch-heavy and totally one-sided affair.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 3-0
Best line: Hollow – “Your girl pussy free like school lunch!”
Recap: In this early Smack battle, (“My rock is full of rocks, it’s like the Grand Canyon!”) T-Rex and (“My gun’s like Botox, you’ll get shots in the face!”) Midwest Miles kick rapid punches laced with steely confidence and a whole load of shit-talking. It makes for a fierce, close and competitive battle throughout, much less a sign of each battler’s rigid fortitude to out-punch the other. Rex eventually wins the battle with a more condensed and stronger overall 3rd.
Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T-Rex – “Like a Muslim with a pork chop, there’s no way you want it!”
Recap: Giving his opponent Yung Mase the option of either taking an L or going home, Aye Verb flexes his might (and sexual exploits) with a spazz session of boastful punchlines, persistent mayhem and righteous personals that in this one-sided 1-rounder from Street Status, probably had the subpar and overmatched Mase wishing he’d stayed in the crib.
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Aye Verb – “This nigga lie for nuthin’, got his block thinking he a thoro G, when he ain’t shit but a lil ass bitch…girl please!”
Recap: They’d battle again later on in the Fight Klub, but this one-rounder clearly goes to RemyD, whose more consistently stronger punchlines and fierce wordplay beat Hitman Holla’s less potent braggadocio lines.
Verdict: RemyD (W) 1-0
Favorite line: RemyD – “Flip the on switch, this when you realize the hook I catch you with ain’t a chorus!”
Recap: Guessing that E went into another line of work as after getting demolished in this 1-round, freestyle battle by a way more hitting Real Deal, we haven’t heard from E since.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Why am I battling Kevin Garnett’s action figure?!”
Recap: Ajaxx and Real Deal go at it outside on the streets of Pittsburgh for 3 spirited and gritty rounds, but it’s more consistently hitting RD’s punch game that gets him the 30.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “I’m not your ordinary cracker ‘cuz I’m the Ritz!”
Recap: Boka disses opponent Real Deal’s frequent use of punchlines, but doesn’t provide much else when it comes to his bars. Thus allowing for the Pittsburgh emcee’s witty freestyles and lofty personals to make for an easy win in this 1-rounder from the Shadow Lounge in RD’s hometown.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “When did Russell Simmons become pregnant?!”
Recap: Armed with a barrage of mocking personals, in lieu of the round of pedestrian bars from opponent Chris Cain, Real Deal makes quick and easy work, thus taking this 1-rounder in his hometown of Pittsburgh.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “This dude should be going first, who the fuck came here with a Louis Vuitton purse?!”
Recap: 2007 1-rounder from Boyce Park in Pittsburgh, PA, finds a lack of substance in Anymal’s confidence and gritty raps which in turn leaves even a so-so Real Deal with just enough robust punches/personals/freestyles to get the win.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “You got that rubberband ‘cuz you have breast cancer!”
Recap: Note this battle for two reasons: an early Tech-9 steady (“Never invited, but always wanna go ass nigga!”) roasting some kid from Lancaster, PA (a spot noted for being predominantly Amish) and the bravado of Young D’s hypeman–a young white dude dressed in a sailor uniform standing in the midst of some gully-looking spectators with nary a worry except for supporting his boy. And tho it seems that they failed to drop the 3rd round of this battle, with Tech-9 killing his clearly overmatched opponent’s mixtape verses in the first couple of rounds, there’s really no need to see the rest.
Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 2-0*
Favorite line: Tech-9 – “Don’t be a wiseguy, don’t make me have to splatter you…and I got your mom’s duct taped for collateral!”
* – 3rd round is not available on Youtube.
Recap: Early Hitmam Holla versus Yung Ill stays competitive and aggressive on both sides throughout. But it’s Ill who seizes the day with more potent (“You a poodle with three legs, I’m a pit bull with rabies and no chain!”) bars, some fierce personals, a deft delivery and overall, a pretty strong performance. Holla, who got distracted by someone in the crowd during his second round, certainly had his (“If I sneeze you better not say ‘Bless Me’ wrong”) moments, but might’ve done better if he wasn’t seemingly (“Pull your skin off like bologna meat”?!?) insecure about his wordplay.
Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Yung Ill – “I’ll put the gun on his tongue like shhhh…don’t kiss and tell!”
Recap: Dishing left and right with rapid personals/braggadocio bars when he wasn’t doing fine impressions of fellow battle rappers and gripping heaters with so much reckless abandon that even innocent grandmother’s had to heed notice, Yung Holla easily beats back the mostly pedestrian bars of Grim in this 2-rounder from Word War 8.
Verdict: Yung Holla (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Yung Holla – “Broke ass nigga…you couldn’t splurge at Family Dollar!”
Recap: With plenty of $$$ on the line, Yung Holla uses righteous gun bars and deft personals to easily take the first couple of rounds, before literally gaining the kill on a very average Birdie with a spirited C-word acumen that solidified an adept vocabulary.
Verdict: Yung Holla (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Yung Holla – “On the way here, his homie like ‘My dude got flow, we expecting him to lose, but it’s a good look tho!'”
Recap: DJ Vlad’s brief escapades hosting battle rap sees a spirited (“You here now, but your father was wrong, you an accident, you should’ve been a drink for your mom”) Jay Focus and a punchline-heavy Cortez (which according to Cortez, someone in the crowd just happened to record on their flip phone) go at it in a heated two-rounder (any battle host should know better than to have anything but odd number rounds, but whatever). After the two split the first couple of rounds it’s a good thing that the judges decided on OT which allows Tez to spit storytelling bars and expound on hitiin’ Jay’s girl with the “Dougie Fresh”, edging the round and taking the win.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “Your broad I fucked her and made [gestures to someone in the crowd] him tape it last night”
Recap: Philly vets Reed Dollaz and Kaboom trade hard, mayhem-ridden bars, heated punchlines and some recycled darts in this gritty and aggressive 2-rounder that a more scheme-heavy, condensed, less predictable and consistently visceral Reed edges here.
Verdict: Reed Dollaz (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Reed Dollaz – “Crushed the game, fitted in some Nike’s on, you play South street, stiletto’s and some tights on!”
Recap: Overwhelming his opponent in this 3-round bout from the Elements League in both stature and bar efficiency, Pat Stay doesn’t hold back with the righteous rancor, using a gang of flippant personals, penis jokes, boastful barbs, rich storytelling lines and rudimentary punchlines to score a bodybag on an opponent, Jesse Ito, who when he wasn’t choking away his 2nd round, couldn’t ring up a single haymaker with his bag of subpar lines during the entire battle.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Me vs. you?, that’s a no-brainer like a lobotomy patient!”
Recap: Scribble Jam 2007 contest finds the more crispier, personal-savvy and freestyle adept Real Deal scoring a win for Pittsburgh over HalfBlown.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Ladies and Gentleman, what the fuck happened to Brian Grant?!”
Recap: Opponent Taz rhymes well and delivers some solid punchlines here and there. But a Dizaster on Beast-mode with steady aggression backed by consistently hardcore punches, raucous boasts and enough stereotypical Indian jokes to make Pocahontas happy was too much to beat in this highly energetic 2-rounder.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’ll clap the lead up, I’ll shoot the pipe, the doctor’s will wrap his head up like his future wife!”
Recap: Boastful barbs and thrifty punchlines rule this outdoor 3-round battle between Kid Chaos and Prime Time that the more consistently hitting and punch-heavier Chais wins by taking each of the opening rounds before Prime Time comes back with a stronger 3rd to avoid the shutout.
Verdict: Kid Chaos (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kid Chaos – “Your rhymes wack like the Bankhead bounce!”
Recap: $100 on the line for this 3-round street battle between The Saurus and Iron Solomon and outside of a subpar 2nd round from The Saurus, it’s a goodie as both battlers get busy with the fiery punchlines and gusty freestyles. However, before the punch-heavier The Saurus took the final round, a slightly cleaner, condensed and more consistently spicy/versatile Iron wins this one by taking both rounds 1 and 2.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “Named himself TheSaurus, but needed a dictionary to spell it right!”
Recap: Loaded Lux flexes for two rounds here, going ham on an over-matched Mike Louch with righteous punchlines that all land, before taking his opponent down for the 3-count with a haymaker of an ‘NYPD’ bar to decisively settle the bout.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “I’m the champ chump, your girl the only one I let hit me below the belt!”
Recap: Mid-00’s street battle featuring an early Iron Solomon shows you Iron’s acumen in tearing opponents apart as well as how far British rappers (Mic Assassin definitely should’ve came with some writtens) have progressed lyrically over the years. Funny how they had to move to 3 different spots to get this one-sided battle over with.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 4-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “This is what Guerilla Black would look like if he was still on crack”
Recap: Some footage from Math Hoffa’s early battle days in Fight Klub against Benjamin Benz. Obviously unable to judge the whole battle, but it’s public knowledge that Math’s only loss in Fight Klub was to Serius Jones and who knows if FK will ever release the entire battle. Nonetheless, it was a win for Math.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W)
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I done put more work in on the streets than surgeons on Lil’ Kim’s grill”
Recap: Math’s renowned sense of humor is on full display here against Nemz. Can’t judge the whole battle as you only get the 3rd round and Sudden Death OT here, but nonetheless Math still got the win in this judged battle.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W)
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Little bitch, little bitch, by now all your hope is gone, niggas wouldn’t sign you if you was a cast on a broken arm”
Recap: Close 1-rounder between Passwurdz and Elfamail from the 2005 Scribble Jam Prelims features witty punches and flow spicy off-the-dome heat from the both battlers. However, it’s the slightly more consistently lit Passwurdz who edges the win here.
Verdict: Passwurdz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “Fuck that shit, you look like a crack pipe smoked you!”
Recap: Able to score more with incendiary personals over aggressive boasts, Dizaster survives a 1st round deficit to a more condensed and punch-heavy I-Dub and comes back to take the latter two rounds from his way more pedestrian opponent to win this ObieOne 3-rounder in L.A.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “He’s sucking so much dick, he’s growing muscles on his lips!”
Recap: A ‘swagger juice dripping’ Loaded Lux dishes more then enough gritty punchlines to easily beat back a pedestrian and slip-up prone Precise in this Freestyle Friday match from BET.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Jealous mind, never rhyme, Don King had haircuts with better lines!”
Recap: From Scribble Jam 2005, while he may be a little guilty of using some of the same set-ups to his punches during battles, that still doesn’t take away from Iron Solomon’s hardbody wit, his rebuttal game or his freestyle ability as seen here once again in this one-sided 1-rounder against a very subpar Elfamail.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “If you the Alpha, then I’m the Beta Kappa, punch your sister in the mouth then date her after!”
Recap: From Scribble Jam 2005, while neither Passwurdz or Johnny Quest were on their A-game, it’s a more steadily flowing and crispy punching Passwurdz who ends up edging this 1-rounder.
Verdict: Passwurdz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “Your goatee looks like an old woman’s vagina bush!”
Recap: While they both could freestyle, Presence’s subpar and sometimes nonsensical raps are no match for Iron Solomon’s hitting name flips, witty personals and piercing schemes/punchlines in this one-sided Scribble Tour 2005 Prelim battle.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “You look like a crackhead version of Bruce Willis!”
Recap: Took the crowd from this I Suppose Productions freestyle battle a minute to decide on going an extra 3rd round, but either way Dizaster had this one in the bag already, out-punching a pretty pedestrian Nocando in the opening rounds, before getting even more spicier/personal in the 3rd to complete the 3-0.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “Nocando, you stay wack, that’s a new hair color, we call it gray black!”
Recap: The difference between going first might’ve played a part in this 2-round freestyle battle between Dizaster and Dumbfounded as the host ruled beforehand that Diz would start off round 1 before the two switched turns in round 2. So after a filler prone and a bit flow-challenged Dizaster gets easily beaten back by a punch-heavier DF to open things up, Diz returns the exact same verdict in round 2, thus making this one a tie.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I’m an Arabian terrorist because I always bomb your mom’s pussy!”
Synopsis: Instead of the Lux vs. Mook rematch, it’s these two who I’d love to see square off again. That’s how close this legendary battle is, as Serius Jones and Mook showcase not only their tremendous talent, but their serious (no pun intended) dislike for each other. Jones’ first round is classic: storytelling, personals (“Your government name is Johnathan Ancrum/He went to Fordham Prep Catholic, that’s a private school”) and righteous snaps. But Mook brings it right back with aggressive bars, hilarious anecdotes (“Smack called me [while] I was getting some head, [said] we got a victim and it might involve you getting some bread…”) and noted Harlem swag (backed up by the entire 116th block that he apparently brought with him). The fun continues in round two as the two rappers continue to spit dope lines (Mook: “He probably ain’t wanna battle, just wanted to meet me in person”) while showcasing their competitive fab at times by finishing off each other rhymes. The last round has Serius continuing to go hard while showing off his infamous free-style ability, afterwards Mook continues to air out Serius’ street cred. However, while Serius’ rebuttals, nasty bars (“If you wanna get his bitch to run a train, just get her a sandwich from Subway and a Metrocard”) and off-the dome barbs are straight sick, it’s Mook’s closing “dot” scheme that will live on in infamy. I got the 1st round as a tie, Mook edging the 2nd and Serius taking the 3rd. All told, a classic battle.
Verdict: Serius Jones and Murda Mook (TIE)
Best line: Murda Mook – “We got barrels so long, you see ’em you pledge allegiance” AND Serius Jones – “Talking about coke?! The last time this nigga’ shaved an onion he was in his kitchen on Thanksgiving making stuffing”
Recap: Even an average Hollow da Don has enough is his tank to take out Young Cyph’s mostly lame written’s in this 2-round Friday Freestyle Battle from BET.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “You a funny dude, what the Chronic do?, forget 106, take him to Comic View!”
Recap: Nymesys goes one-topic with street yarns that were at times (“When ya riding around town in the drop, man the ladies love you, now ya bitches like ya chain, I’ll pop her and take her from you!”) …fire. But a little too much filler and a more (“When guns pop, this nigga jeting, he’ll turn his New Balances’ into old equilibrium’s!”) versatile X-Factor gives the Michigan cat this one.
Verdict: X-Factor (W) 1-0
Favorite line: X-Factor – “You a nice joke and he must be a welder, shit, that’s the only time he let his pipe smoke. Is he nice? No. But he smoke weed and he a fag so I guess this nigga might blow!”
Recap: Lotta Zay had some nice (“I’m the nicest on the set and I’m like Mike Epps, I’mma be here Friday After Next!”) written’s in round 1 of this Freestyle Friday Battle from BET, but Hollow’s buttery freestyle (“He couldn’t afford a shirt, so her recycled his long john!”) game edges it. Round two sees Zay’s attempts to freestyle fail miserably, leaving the way for Hollow to elicit more crazy off-the-dome bars and garner an easy win.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “Speaking of feet, yeah them shoes quite cool, I’m 22 and I had those in high school!”
Synopsis: Hell hath no fury like a rapper scorned. After all, part of what makes battle rap great is the pure tension in the air along with sheer machismo on display, especially when you put together two emcees who have a history of not liking each other personally. But still, the idea of the wrong word (or phrase) being said at a rap battle leading to all bets being called off and a fight erupting, is a whole ‘nother story and never good for the sport. Yet, in this case, what with Hoffa just getting flat-out disrespected after he allegedly warned Dose beforehand not to go there….well, sometimes a man’s gotsa do what he gotsa do.
Verdict: J Dose (W) 1-0
Best line: J Dose – “Keep a sawed off like woodshop class, Crook might blast, chrome to ya cranium, *click clack* BOOM! turn this dome to a stadium!”
Instant classic: Hoffa – “I was supposed to battle T-Rex, but he was scared”
Synopsis: Damn, those Philly dudes always like to keep it close. Still, while NH came hard throughout, his lines were no match for Rex’s grittier bars, schemes and slicker wordplay.
Verdict: T-Rex (W0 3-0
Favorite line: T-Rex – “I’m social-anti, I stay to myself, guns, I shot my own shadow I don’t play with myself”
Recap: First posted back in 2006, someone recently put together these 4 rounds of Murda Mook battling Philly’s Joey Jihad. And while one can argue about Mook allegedly recycling bars here or Jihad’s exceptionally rapid flow, even for a battle taking place in the mid-2000’s, where intricacy mattered little, 90% of Joey’s (“I’ll have everybody trying to hit you like the lottery!”) fall in the category of being pretty basic. To be fair, Mook also came with a plethora of pedestrian lines, but his ability to mix in some wit, fiery braggadocio lines, nice performance bars and fiery wordplay/personals throughout his 4 rounds, got him this one…easy.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 4-0
Favorite line: Murda Mook – “Fuck your life, lacing your Jordan’s the only time you touched the Mic [Mike]!”
