No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: Mike Flamez uses a variety of hard-hitting personals and piercing punchlines over the course of 3 rounds to easily beat back a mostly pedestrian and subpar free-styling Young Gattas in this matchup from Grind Time.
Verdict: Mike Flamez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mike Flamez – “Better tell ya girlfriend to throw in the towel, I got a different strap-on I’ll throw in her mouth!”
Synopsis: Never was much of a fan of Okwerdz, esp. with his often lame, loud, straightforward, simple wordplay and play to the home crowd semantics. But his signature stylings worked here, what with enough personals (remember this is early Arsonal, Fight Klub champ), “you recycle bars” mentions and “Fresh coast” hysterics to edge him a win here. Clearly too, Arsonal not only didn’t fully prepare for this battle (too much filler, not enough punches), but he clearly underestimated his opponent and the time limits (which are like kryptonite to da Rebel) definitely worked in Okwerdz favor as well.
Verdict: Okwerdz (W) 2-1
Best line: Arsonal – “I’ll finger all 3 of her holes, she a bowling ball”
Round 2
Recap: Jersey’s J Biz puts up a decent (“Take you’re head off on camera like Taliban”) challenge, but Loaded Lux’s hard body rhymes and braggadocio (“You”ll melt trying to get to this belt, Casper couldn’t go through me”) bars are too much to handle in this two-rounder from BET’s Freestyle Friday.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “It’s all great till Lux sweep in, then they sweating like Michael Jackson at a Boys Club meeting!”
Recap: From Grind Time, a close 3-rounder with plenty of sardonic personals on both sides. But with neither battler lighting up the scoreboard consistently, it’s still a harder punching and more versatile Real Deal who takes each round for the win over Complex.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “See, homie, why do you hate being white, be a man and tell me, you on black people’s dick so much I’m a call you Lisa Lampanelli!”
Synopsis: A teenage DNA comes off a little bit raw and unpolished, but still spits enough shiners to land an easy win over Prophit as he makes his debut appearance on Grind Time.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Favorite line: DNA – “This nigga pussy, he wouldn’t grill cheese”
Part 2 Part 3
Synopsis: A battle that deserves a rematch if only because I think both Richie and Arsonal would agree that they could put on a lot better show now compared to this early Sub Zero matchup. Filled with way too much filler, lame lines, not enough hot bars and a crowd that was clearly there to see Rich take out a body, Arsonal only won because Rich was that bad.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Best line: Arsonal – “I’m the only rapper selling swag on Ebay”
Recap: Grind Time at its absolute worst here as despite a versatile Young Gattas doing everything, whether it was spitfire personals, hardbody punchlines, witty puns or alluring Espanol heat, to wreck havoc on a very pedestrian Sara Kana, this battle still went to an OT round that won’t be shown here due to the sheer ridiculousness of it all. SMH.
Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Young Gattas – “And I know she ain’t getting pussy, why?, ‘cuz you burn calories while having sex!”
Recap: More condensed and performance-heavy in rounds 1 and 3 with some fire quotables, witty barbs and rugged wordplay mixed in, Daylyt edges a mayhem-dishing and personal/name-flip spazzing, but a little less versatile and a little less intricate Passwurdz in this competitive 3-rounder from Grind Time.
Verdict: Daylyt (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Daylyt – “I X box cats, his boys will get a Halo 2!:
Recap: A judged battle with $2K on the line sees Hollow da Don use an aggressive template of gritty punchlines, gripping personals and a few dope rebuttals to easily beat a pretty substandard Amzilla.
Verdict: Hollow da Dow (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “Nigga heard Jeezy tracks, talking about you go through blocks…I’m like nigga please, you sold two rocks!”
Recap: Pat Stay’s 1st appearance on KOTD is a scintillating one as the Nova Scotia, Canada rapper uses a boisterous mix of mean personals, wild jokes and raucous schemes to easily beat back a mostly oft-killer Bartone.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “He’s so skinny when he burps it hurts him!”
Recap: A ‘Sucka-free’ Pat Stay uses a wide load of piercing fat jokes, brutal sexual deviant barbs, boastful shiners and other hardbody punchlines/personals to easily take this Elements League 3-rounder from a started-off-nice, but incredibly waning as the battle went on Cronic.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “If I’m a pedophile then you’re a necrophiliac because I heard your girl’s a dead fuck!”
Recap: Grind Time battle between Dizaser and Locksmith contains a boatload of over-the-top personals, raucous jokes and frenzied punchlines from both battlers. But while his opponent kept it close for a couple of rounds, a more consistent Locksmith would still edge the first two rounds before a 3rd round choke from Diz gave Lock the 30.
Verdict: Locksmith (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Locksmith – “Every time I call Sprint, I gotta talk to one of your cousin’s in Istanbul!”
Recap: Three shortened, but highly efficient turns from Swave Sevah, filled with plenty of wit and hardbody punches gets the win over a mostly pedestrian Imaredo in this 3-rounder from Grind Time New York battle.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “No lie, this nigga is so skinny he could look through a peephole with both eyes!”
Synopsis: Versus the underwhelming Holly Hood, this wasn’t a fair fight. Other than that it’s only worth watching to peep Arsonal for the first time on the URL stage.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 3-0
Best line: Arsonal – “I’m a promethazine Sprite nigga, he’s a Michelob Light sipper”
Recap: Despite coming in as a last-minute replacement for Lotta Zay, a confident Cortez spits three fire rounds like he had this battle scheduled for a week. Still, Yung Sheen hung in there, edging the second round with some aggressive storytelling (“Your bitch in my Crusader, don’t worry I know you saw here, you something like the b-ball gear, nigga’s a Starter”) bars and keen wordplay, after Cortez easily took the first with more potent (“I’m Conceited with an ego bigger than Shaq’s shadow”) lines and more versatility. Last round is close, but Cortez takes it with some iller personals, on-point set-ups and fiery punchlines.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “My niggas will jump Superman, ask Nate Robinson!”
Recap: Hey, if you’re going to get 3-0’d in a battle at the very least keep the crowd entertained as Alex Ludovico, a last-minute for whoever, does here against Young Gattas, using thrifty freestyles/personals and fully transparent humor to make it through the battle in one piece, while a consistently spicy with the punches Gattas handily takes each round for the win on Grind Time.
Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Young Gattas – “You couldn’t bless a track even if you had Kirk Franklin on the ad-lib!”
Part 2/OT
Synopsis: Intriguing to say the least as one gets to see this Grind Time Tryouts battle featuring an early DNA (along with some of your other favorite battle rappers) looking to get on and build his resume. Good battle and since I agree with Cortez on what defines Overtime rules, it gives me no problem going with Amzilla on the win since he spit the hottest line (“I’ll hit you with an uppercut [looks up] DNA done got stuck on the ceiling”) in the extra round.
Verdict: Amzilla (W) OT
Favorite line: Amzilla – “I heard they call you DNA because you couldn’t spell chromosome”
Recap: Philly Swain versus K-Shine for two rounds up in Harlem on Loaded Lux’s Lions Den stage is a barnburner as Swain’s boisterous punches, witty wordplay and righteous (“Certified Wiseguy, I’m the Godfather!”) similes make work (esp. in round 1 which Philly edged), while Shine’s gritty darts, heated gun bars and braggadocio raps are enough to edge round 2 and make this one a tie.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: K-Shine – “All that tough talk, till I run up on nigga’s, with the .40 poking out the bag like Malt liquor!”
Synopsis: Tall T (R.I.P.) was always nice, but unfortunately not much comp here against an early Conceited who was clearly at the top of his game, delivering sizzling punchline (“bullets like the letter ‘V’, they coming after ‘U'”) after punchline (“cops wanna handcuff him, stick him in jail, even if I was a SIM card I wouldn’t sit in a cell”) with virtual ease, while putting on a show for a hype crowd that made you forget that Conceited was the road guy.
Verdict: Conceited (W) 2-0
Best line: Tall T – “You talk about it, we actually shoot, dome shots make him do the Chicken Noodle soup! And when comes to pussy, you don’t know what to do, you put yo condom on and balls in it Too!!
Recap: Grind Time judges got it all right here as capped by a dope ‘Leave Britney Alone!’ impression, Real Deal’s gang of mocking personals, sizzling punchlines and gay innuendos combined to score a 30 on a mostly pedestrian and overmatched Fresco.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Chicago is not your city, it’s your favorilte musical!”
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Synopsis: Not much more can be said about this battle that hasn’t already been spoken. A battle that put Clips on the map and literally gave him “legend” status all the way through to his battle with A-Verb a few years later on URL. As for Tay-Roc, compared to the high-caliber version of Roc that we see now, the version we see here just seemed happy to be there (tho his 1st and 3rd rounds weren’t that bad), which killed the B-more legend’s rep until he’d later take it all out on Kaboom in that famous OT round on the Lion’s Den later down the road. Other than that, peep Clips just dropping fire punch after punch while roasting on Roc for 3 rounds as well as Teyana Taylor in the audience for your added viewing pleasure.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Best line: Charlie Clips – “See the reason I go crazy and I be blacking it out, is because my grandmother said, ‘If you lose to this Tay Rock nigga, don’t bring yo ass back in my house'”, What, can you picture me losing for that good-ass cooking? For my grandmom’s I do time in that hood ass booking, he wanna fight I throw a left then a good-ass hook and, have him like, ‘woop-woop!’, you know, when you used to get that good-ass whooping”
OT
Synopsis: Swave got off to a hot start (“You might have a chance at winning if this was a pie-eating contest”), but lost momentum in the latter rounds leading to an OT that he clearly wasn’t prepared for.
Verdict: Yung ZM (W) OT
Favorite line: Yung Z.M. – “Bitch, you so dark it look like you stood outside for two summers…”
Synopsis: Da Rebel at his best: loud, aggressive, cocky, disrespectful and a few Hulkamania leg drops to finish off Hollow da Don and get the 3-count. Really, did Hollow just underestimate Arsonal or was he just unprepared? Perhaps both. Because that stunned look da Don got on his face throughout this battle reminds me of the same look Tay Roc had against Charlie Clips. Why this battle even went to overtime served as just another reason why Fight Klub had to go–tho unfair to Arsonal, it did give him a reputation for recycling bars when it should’ve never went to OT in the first place
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 4-0
Best line: Arsonal – “Last week I saw your rap sheet, you had one charge…wandering”
Recap: Showing that he takes no mercy on out-of-town spitters, Arsonal goes ham and spazzes on RemyD’s midwest flow and significant others throughout this tournament battle from Fight Klub. In order to finish the kill and leave no witnesses the coup-de-grace comes when da Rebel decides that even the kids can not be spared: “I’ll kidnap your child, shove a bomb down his throat and blow that little muthafukka into several slices!” It’s a wrap.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Arsonal – “Your bitch, she a fiend, but she the queen of the deep throat, that bitch will suck the fucking motor off a speed boat”
Recap: Grind Time East Coast battle between Cortez and Mosh Jelton is entertaining all the way through with plenty of witty barbs/4-bar setups, racial jokes and piercing punchlines. But after the two split the first two rounds, a more consistently spicy, lit with the personals and adept with his ability to predict some of his opponent’s lines Cortez pulls this one out at the end.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “I gave him a pack to flip, he snorted like the half the shit, the other half he gave to David Blaine for a magic trick!”
Synopsis: An Asian battle rapper versus an Arab battle rapper, so what you’d expect besides a lot of ethnic jokes and racialist wordplay? And after witnessing this battle, let’s just say Dizaster would make for a much better xenophobe.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “How dare Harold challenge me to a rhyme battle? This is the thanks I get for taking this faggot to White Castle”
Recap: Yung Ill with the heated gun lines and some nice set-ups. Hollow da Don with the fiery punchlines and witty barbs. However, it’s a nice rebuttal by Hollow in the deciding 3rd round that makes the majority of the difference here in this Fight Klub battle.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “This nigga have to be a bitch ‘cuz he sweet like Sara Lee!”
Recap: More intricate with his schemes and more gripping with his personals, but also helped by a steadier flow and some witty bars, in this 3 rounds plus OT battle from Grind Time Illmaculate takes the 1st, 2nd and 4th rounds from the always aggressive and very solid, but not quite as consistent here Dizaster.
Verdict: Illmaculate (W) 3-1
Favorite line: Illmaculate – “Dude is getting mad hyped but you sound stupid and you cram rhymes, only thing natural about Dizaster is losing my a landslide!”
Recap: The dancing-while-rapping thing still kind of leaves you scratching ya head. But against the raucous, yet in this case pretty mediocre raps of Dizaster, opponent VoKab scores with enough hairy jokes and earnest punches to get the win in this 2-round freestyle battle from Tourettes Without Regrets.
Verdict: VoKab (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I was trying to stare him in his eyes, but I got lost in his eyebrows!”
Recap: Classic battle between Aye Verb (visiting NY to battle for the first time) and SB (a last-minute replacement for Head Ice) on a cold night on the streets of Harlem with Murda Mook hosting. While SB kicks a plethora of braggadocio rhymes, until his preeminent (“I’ll strap a bomb to your waist and make you in your crib and blow it up”) 3rd round, most of his bars are pretty standard stuff. On the other hand, with a host of animated gun bars, heated (“Catch this nigga at the check cashing, snatch his chain and give it back to him, tell him I just was practicing!”) personals and dope punchlines, a confident Verb not only does St. Louis proud, but kicks off what would be the beginning of the infamous Midwest movement into Smack/URL.
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Aye Verb – “Shots point-blank range…BANG!!! he fucked….his soul flying, I’m still firing, even his guardian angels duck!”
Synopsis: Honestly, considering he was a last-minute replacement (tho granted he had a too short 2nd round) I don’t think J. Ka$h did that bad here (just needs to work on his versatility and delivery, but the wordplay, metaphors and bars was there) and that combined with a Soul Khan clearly not at his best…..I had to edge this one to Ka$h.
Verdict: J. Ka$h (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Soul Khan – “And the funny thing is your chick is huger than Pun, fuck a dimepiece that chick is a mutual fund”
Recap: In this Grind Time matchup, Unorthodox Phrases’ ‘flat-chested…MapQuest’ line, while fire, certainly wasn’t too awesome to overcome some struggles with his flow, redundant gay jokes for 3 rounds and finally an aggressive and brazen Young Gattas clearly out-punching U.P. in round 1 or using a spicy rebuttal to edge round 3 for the win as well.
Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young Gattas – “Bitch, I keep more .16s than a fucking child rapist!”
Recap: Did those judges really need to think about this one or were they just playing for the cameras? Had to be the latter as Pat Stay’s hard-hitting punches, stinging personals and boastful barbs clearly beat an over-matched and flow-challenged Critical in this 3-roudner from Elements League.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Straight-up, if I was you right now I’d just say I’m finished, unless you looking to get eaten up [8 up] like R. Kelly’s age limit!”
Recap: Grind Time used to have so many battles go into overtime that one can’t help but wonder how many battle rappers would bring 4 rounds with them instead of the standard 3. That said, here’s another GT battle that had no business going into OT, as a more consistently potent, aggressive and witty Dizaster clearly took the 1st and 3rd rounds versus Reverse Live before going OT and landing one more haymaker to take the final round too.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I hate when rappers come down here acting so damn hard, you look like Roseanne Barr swallowed a whole damn car!”
Recap: Yet another Grind Time battle that went to OT (at least two of the 5 judges had the guts to make the right call) when it didn’t have to as a witty, personal-savvy and off-the-dome spicy Real Deal clearly out-punched his topsy-turvy opponent Tut in the 1st and 3rd rounds (call the 2nd round debatable) for the win.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Hey, you need to do away with these project dreams and go back to being on the Jamaican bobsled team!”
Recap: While Chuck Black came through with 3 solid, witty at times and gun bar-spazzing turns, in this Grind Time East battle versus Swave Sevah, the Harlem-nite’s rugged punches, mocking personals and boastful stunting were enough to take both of the opening rounds, before a debatable 3rd.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “See, you talk like you a wild cowboy, but where at?, Brokeback Mountain?!”
Recap: Jersey vs. Jersey sees longtime vet Moonface give Serius Jones a run for the money in this epic Fight Klub battle. Jones has some lapses throughout the battle, but is able to pull it out in overtime with wicked freestyles/bars on Moonface’s Montell Jordan lookalike homie and his opponent only buying out the bar “when he go to the gay club”.
Verdict: Serius Jones (W) OT
Favorite line: Serius Jones – “You was an ugly baby, so your mom’s used to ignore you!”
Synopsis: The judge on the phone summed it up best as Soul Khan sets a precedent with another easy win over Rhapsodist.
Verdict: Soul Khan (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Soul Khan – “I know I’m Jewish but we can work this out, I’m the Fiddler on the Roof of your girlfriend’s mouth”
Recap: Against a mediocre punching and free-styling A Shaw, Real Deal has an easy time of it, using a gang of piercing punchlines, witty/rigid personals, fierce name flips and even a dope 2nd round rebuttal to score a 3-0 in this 3-rounder from Grind Time.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “I make moves across the country, he’s stuck in Indy…nobody wants to listen to a tree-hugging hippie!”
Synopsis: Good battle, but frustrating to see a vet like Swain talk over Hollow’s bars like that. Always nice to see Hollow’s rebuttals, but Swain’s “It’s Dad” scheme was pretty nice and funny too. Overall, way more punches, bars and freestyles from Hollow to get him the win.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 3-1
Best line: Hollow da Don – “Naw I aint no wrestling dude, that k come out, chest chop, that’s a wrestling move”
Part 2
Synopsis: Probably the lowlight of Cortez’s battle career. Against the then-106 & Park Freestyle champ, Cortez uses aggressive bars and nice punchlines to ably take the lead on a weak and very rusty Kay M. However, just when he’s on his way to an easy win, he slips up bad in the 3rd round and forces O.T. After another weak round from Kay M, Cortez start off nicely, but this time he doesn’t just slip-up, he chokes, giving his opponent a win he clearly didn’t deserve.
Verdict: Kay M (W) OT
Favorite line: Cortez – “His nickname’s Weezy, head game’s crazy, he licks the lollipop, he loves kissing babies”
Recap: Two rounds, but not sure how seriously a prep-lacking Triune took the 2nd. That’s neither nor there when it comes to Dizaster tho as the L.A. battler coasted with a gang of witty personals and piercing punches to take each round for the win.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I love the word bitch because if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t know what to call you!”
Recap: Word War ’09 battle hosted by Aye Verb with a couple of aggressive St. Louis spitters in Hitman Holla and Cashola going at it for two rounds. Cashola was steady with a harsh delivery/flow that linguistically delivered (“I’ll catch this nigga in a city street, sliding with his little groupie freak, open the back door, put the gun to his son head and blow his little ass out the booster seat!”) well at times, but more often than not his wordplay was pretty generic and average. On the other hand Hitman’s versatility shined in both rounds, if it wasn’t witty (“You wasn’t even on my menu, you remind of broccoli”) personals, it was robust storytelling bars, potent gun lines and solid (“Claim you a pit bull, but see me and you won’t even bark”) punchlines that got him the win.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I’m quickly gonna turn this reality into a movie, play dumb, start killing these niggas, Officer Doofy”
Round 2
Round 2 1/2 & 3
Recap: A confident Big T doesn’t let the away crowd get him flustered, using some exquisite wordplay, brash (“Boy, don’t you ever come to me like I’m some small time…all these angry pits with me, you ain’t must seen that dog sign!”) heavy hitters and formidable gun bars to overwhelm and easily take out H-I, who’s penchant for (“This nigga knowing that I’m hot, the devil told me to chill”) elementary rhymes gave him little chance of winning throughout.
Verdict: Big T (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Big T -“You ain’t from ATL, but you’ll get your team stumped, I’ll knock A-town down if I’m holding this piece [peace] up!”
Recap: Young Gattas (aka Blaze) 1st appearance on Grind Time and I gotta go with the judges on this one as while opponent Pryceless came with some solid personals to edge round 1, in the latter rounds Gattas would up her off-the-dome acumen, spout some flexing punchlines and with the help of Pryceless’ bar efficiency going downhill with each passing round, get the win in the end.
Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young Gattas – “You said I don’t have titties, it’s not my fault your titties is bigger than mines!”
Recap: Dishing out so much mayhem on a guy who came through at the last minute to battle you probably won’t make you any new friends. But for Cortez, we’re sure that this 3-round Grind Time trashing of a clearly over-matched Jazzy Tech was strictly professional.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “Fools like him only celebrate on April 1st!”
Recap: This 3-rounder from Grind Time finds the more crispy punching and witty Locksmith edging the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win versus a mostly pedestrian Passwordz.
Verdict: Locksmith (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Locksmith – “You thought you wouldn’t lose but your nigga’s probably did, they got ypu fucked up in the head like Whitney and Bobby’s kids!”
Recap: It’s an easy win for Yung Ill here against a filler-prone RemyD, as Ill not only dispenses gritty (“How you rap about committing crimes…chill, you couldn’t do penitentiary time behind mini-blinds!”) street lines with aggressive consistency, but fiery punchlines.personals and an early “Gun So Big…” bar that showed how much the creative juices were flowing.
Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Yung Ill – “Catch ya at the laundromat, your son by ya…they gonna be like ‘Damn, how he fit two bodies in one dryer!'”
Recap: Two rounds and only 30 seconds to rap in each aren’t for everyone as Nuborn clearly shows here, almost choking away his first before dishing pretty standard bars in the second and still complaining about not having time to rap. Loaded Lux, on the other hand, in what would be his final BET Freestyle Friday match, came equipped with his usual flair of braggadocio punchlines and fiery personals. Altogether, not Lux’s A-game, but more than enough heat to beat a way-less-prepared opponent.
Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Right now you couldn’t fight yourself out of a wet paper bag with a razor!”
Recap: No doubt about it, the Saurus gets robbed here. The 2-time Scribble Jam champ equating Dizaster on quality punchlines, wit and personals, but edging the 1st round thanks to a Diz slip-up. Then after a debatable 2nd round, a more condensed The Saurus edges the 3rd with a steadier flow as well as one more haymaker. Yet another unnecessary OT from Grind Time was equally subpar on both sides, which makes that round a draw.
Verdict: The Saurus (W) 2-0-2
Favorite line: The Saurus – “We understand you’re faking, your from a land that’s vagrant, where fucking camel racing is known as public transportation!”
Recap: Both battlers bouncing around the stage a lot because apparently that’s you did if you were a battle rapper back in the late 2000’s, The Saurus uses a fierce punch game in addition to some killer rebuttals to take both rounds for the win in this 2-round Scribble Jam matchup.
Verdict: The Saurus (W) 2-0
Favorite line: The Saurus – “Can’t give you all the credit, ‘cuz that Rice-a-Roni line was hotter when Solomon said it!”
Recap: Equipped with a gang of flexing punchlines and funny jokes to offset his opponent’s witty barbs/personals and sexual innuendo’s, Passwurdz does more than enough to take each round and earn a 30 over Illusion-Z in this 3-rounder from Grind Time.
Verdict: Passwurdz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Passwurdz – “When you were born your family piled 15 deep up in a Prius!”
Recap: It doesn’t get much better than this as Head Ice puts it down for Harlem by taking out not just one, but two (granted the 2nd dude in the red cap who took the OT round came way better than the guy he replaced, Tye Knots) CT spitters with in-your-face aggressive rhymes, fierce (“You sleep, I’m still bombing, Pearl Harbor nigga”) punches and hard-hitting bars. Indeed, a handicap match like this would probably intimidate most heads, but as Ice proves here it’s just another day at the office.
Verdict: Head Ice (W) 4-0
Favorite line: Head Ice – “I know some wheelchair niggas that legs move, when it comes to the drama..you run…they shoot!”
Synopsis: Not much to see here except some early schemes by Cortex, him choking in the 3rd round and Iron Solomon in the back serving as timekeeper.
Verdict: Cortez 2-1
Best line: Complex – “I remember beating Cortez back in the day when I played Crash Bandicoot”
Synopsis: It’s easy to forget that Murda Mook’s (along with braggadocio rhymes on how nice he is) forte has always been about breaking down nigga’s. And here he does just that against a clearly outclassed Yung Hot, using menacing personals, funny storytelling and wicked bars to take out his frustration on having to face a “3rd-string replacement”.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 3-0
Best line: Murda Mook – “And I do think I’m the greatest, I believe in the hype, that’s why every time you hear me I compare me to Mike, example, remember A.I. crossed Mike out his sneakers?, it seem so much worse cuz’ we ain’t think Mike had a weakness, offa’ that one move A.I. gothis fame, [but] they forgot Jordan had 35 and still won that game!”
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Synopsis: Did Jay Focus really think he was going somewhere with this style? Appreciate Hollow’s freestyle’s here in what was a punch-heavy and totally one-sided affair.
Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 3-0
Best line: Hollow – “Your girl pussy free like school lunch!”
Recap: In this early Smack battle, (“My rock is full of rocks, it’s like the Grand Canyon!”) T-Rex and (“My gun’s like Botox, you’ll get shots in the face!”) Midwest Miles kick rapid punches laced with steely confidence and a whole load of shit-talking. It makes for a fierce, close and competitive battle throughout, much less a sign of each battler’s rigid fortitude to out-punch the other. Rex eventually wins the battle with a more condensed and stronger overall 3rd.
Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T-Rex – “Like a Muslim with a pork chop, there’s no way you want it!”
Recap: Giving his opponent Yung Mase the option of either taking an L or going home, Aye Verb flexes his might (and sexual exploits) with a spazz session of boastful punchlines, persistent mayhem and righteous personals that in this one-sided 1-rounder from Street Status, probably had the subpar and overmatched Mase wishing he’d stayed in the crib.
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Aye Verb – “This nigga lie for nuthin’, got his block thinking he a thoro G, when he ain’t shit but a lil ass bitch…girl please!”
Recap: They’d battle again later on in the Fight Klub, but this one-rounder clearly goes to RemyD, whose more consistently stronger punchlines and fierce wordplay beat Hitman Holla’s less potent braggadocio lines.
Verdict: RemyD (W) 1-0
Favorite line: RemyD – “Flip the on switch, this when you realize the hook I catch you with ain’t a chorus!”
