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PC and John John da Don [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Pretty close 3-rounder from Grind Time with John John da Don facing off against PC in a battle that came with your usual assortment of festive (JJDD: “Top gonna crack when the rocket snap, I’ll blow his eyes from the spine, make him watch his back!”) gun bars, rugged boasts, solid punchlines and casual name flips. And while both battlers were prone for filler here and there, with the best bar of the round PC took a very close 1s, before a punch-heavier JJDD edged the 2nd round. The deciding 3rd round, even in length, was pretty mediocre on both sides with very little on the haymakers. making this one a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: PC – “Don’t hype him up, get him souped like Wan Tan, I’ll pull the shotty and have him smelling like a porta potty, that’s the definition of a john, John!”

Real Deal defeats Rugged

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Recap: One of the most competitive and better Grind Time battles to ever drop, Real Deal and Rugged go at it for 3 crazy, punchline-lit rounds and rarely let up with both battlers dropping a fleet of fiery personals, hilarious racial barbs/impressions and stinging punches. A battle that also had $300 on the line, it’s a slightly more condensed Real Deal who gets the win and the cash after coming back to edge the 2nd and 3rd (in which RD dished a fire rebuttal) rounds after getting edged in the 1st.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “Stick to your terrorist plots and fucking sinister tactics, got a daughter pushing her big wheel into buildings as practice!”

Bigg K defeats TV

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Recap: On battle rap name alone, Bigg K outshines the very monotone TV. And when it came to bars….it’s even more of a clobbering as while TV scored some shiners here and there, his mostly pedestrian raps were no contest for Bigg K’s repeated onslaught of flexing (“I’ll backhand ya son, take a dump on his cupcake!”) haymakers, rapid punchlines and jovial anecdotes.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Bigg K – “I mean you call yourself TV, that’s the dumbest shit I heard in my life, he got a brother named ‘Couch’ and a cousin named ‘Light’!”

Marv Won defeats Aye Verb

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Synopsis: A longtime battle rapper incorporates storytelling, jokes, nice angles, subversive themes, personals and performance into his bars and not surprisingly, it works. If only the Marvwon we see today studied his first two rounds versus Aye Verb here on the seminal Grind Time, and showed us more often just how dope he can be.

Verdict: Marvwon (W) 2-1

Best line: “Marvwon – “When I make a St. Louis nigga’ body flip, it will not be Ozzie Smith”

Dizaster defeats Organik

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Recap: Yeah, KOTD founder Organik has been running the infamous Canadian league for so long that you couldn’t be faulted if you forgot that he used to be a battle rapper himself. And while Organik’s effort here against Dizaster is solid, one too many pedestrian bars in addition to Diz’s hilarious personals, frenetic punchlines and spiteful boasts over the course of 3 rounds were just way too much and should have you questioning the acumen of the two judges at the end who thought this mostly one-sided battle should go to (Yes, there is an O.T. round for this battle, but with Grind Time’s noted love for overtime battles that had no rhyme or reason to go there, I’m not including it here) O.T.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “You stupid fuck, what the fuck is a Canuck?!?”

Arsonal defeats Conceited

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Synopsis: This is like Arsonal took a trip around the world, found every short joke he could find and brought them all with him to this battle. And it worked for a couple of reasons: this is Grind Time, a battle league where jokes matter over bars and the simple fact that Conceited seemed to put all of his energy for this battle into his classic round one–a great round no less, but too bad for Con this wasn’t a one-rounder.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1

WTF: Conceited’s hype man, who for all the wrong reasons, has gotten as much shine as this battle has–any wonder we haven’t seen him since?

Best line: Arsonal – “I’ll fuck you up physically, no handwork, all kicks”

DNA defeats Rone

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Recap: What with any excuse to do an OT being the Grind Time way, DNA knows that he can’t rely on hot bars and (“If it’s beef then my dudes gonna spark, just cuz’ you look like Mr. Boston don’t mean you gonna win New York’s heart”) punchlines to guarantee a win over Rone. Good thing he has the presence of mind to strap himself with a bomb and threaten to blow the place up if he doesn’t get his just due….smh, the things they make you do sometimes.

Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0

Favorite line: DNA – “And we all know you not the hottest with spitting, because if dad knew you was Grind Time he wouldn’t pay for your college tuition!”

Hollow da Don defeats Passwurdz

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Part 2

Synopsis: Passwurdz gave Hollow a worthy battle here, but to think Hollow flipped his name so well here that Pass would later change it–then too is the fact that to many of Passwurdz average lines got gassed up by the hometown crowd. Take in the boatload of dope rebuttals by da Don on display here too and he definitely got a road win here.

Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 3-1

Best line: Hollow da Don – “Ignore his dickriders, they gonna hype him up like he tough. he’ll rhyme ‘hollow’ with ‘swallow’ and they’ll be like ‘Whoooo!!! How does he write this stuff!'” and “Last I heard he was a wack nerd that ain’t been seen since Chap shirts, I’m like y’all that’s normal, y’all ain’t supposed to see him, he’s a password”

GhiftD defeats Young Gattas

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Recap: After the two split the first couple of rounds, a Gattas choke in round 3 to go along with a bunch of hitting ‘Man’ flips by a direct and hardbody GhiftD, gives the latter the win in this 3-rounder from Grind Time.

Verdict: GhiftD (W) 2-1

Favorite line: GhiftD – “There ain’t shit about Gattas that impress me, ‘cuz I’m looking at her like ‘Damn, where the ass go, where her chest be?!'”

Conceited and Cortez [DEBATABLE]

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Synopsis: No disrespect to Cortez, who came off with a killer instinct throughout here (esp. the BK scheme in round one), enough gumption to enter the last round with the lead. But you could watch this battle for Conceited’s round 3 alone, one of the Top 10 rounds in battle rap history in my opinion. Breaking down Cortez’s over-the-top “rah rah” style, dropping gems on his losses, getting his entourage to go quiet, exquisite punchlines and dope bars, it’s all there, arguably Conceited at his best.

Verdict: TIE

Best line: Conceited – “See I’m flyer than a cockpit, I pick up cats like a chopstick!”

Miracle defeats Pat Stay

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Recap: In a battle that early on looked to be a one-sided affair what with Pat Stay’s hardbody, but also jocular stylings easily taking round 1 over a mostly pedestrian turn from Miracle, Pat’s opponent uses some spicy punchlines of his own to edge round 2 before–with some help from Pat forgetting his rhymes and having to freestyle his way through the deciding round 3–Miracle again snaps with a bunch of fiery personals and punches to win the match and complete an impressive comeback.

Verdict: Miracle (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Miracle – “So answer me this, Pat if you a Sucka-free boss, what does that make me when ya mom’s sucking me off?!”

DNA defeats Loe Pesci

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Recap: One of the rare times when I actually agree that a battle should’ve went to OT as DNA solely using a short alphabet scheme in round 3 was kind of lazy to me (tho it was nicely done). Still, while Pesci had a couple of nice (“You got a record? What’s that shit in the Giuness book about yo? you the only cat on earth that can whistle with is mouth closed?”) lines in the extra round they definitely weren’t haymakers, then too DNA’s OT round provided more spark (“His girl’s pussy’s like Drake, the Best I Ever Had”), consistency and variety to edge it.

Verdict: DNA (W) OT

Favorite line: DNA – “The extra hands they’ll stuffed in a bag, while you getting this Caesar the knife will him one and a half”

Goodz defeats Tech-9

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Synopsis: Damn, Tec-9 put on a great show, fully entertaining as hell with a wicked performance to match.. But Goodz put on a pretty dope show too (with plenty of swag, as usual) and going in tied, Goodz clearly out-barred Tec in round 3 for the win.

Verdict: Goodz (W) 2-1

Best line: Tech-9 – “I go shopping I see it I like it nigga, the receipts pop up after I swipe it nigga, when you swipe it they tell you to re-enter your code, you come up with excuses say they got your — on hold”

Real Deal defeats Cortez

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Synopsis: I agree with judges with Cortez edging the 1st, while Real Deal takes the 2nd and 3rd with better bars, personals and performance (that Any Emcee getting prepared in the booth impression killed!).

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “How the fuck are you thorough when Cortez means courteous in Spanish?”

Nuborn defeats Complex

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Recap: Good one here between Nuborn and Complex. And after two debatable rounds, the feeling here was that a punch-heavier Nuborn easily took the deciding 3rd, which in part was also helped by Complex losing some steam. But this being Grind Time, of course we had to see an O.T. and while both battlers dished some clean solid rounds, Nuborn’s fire rebuttal definitely gave him the edge there.

Verdict: Nuborn (W) 2-1 + O.T.

Favorite line: Nuborn – “See?, I’m getting that work in, when them trigger’s is bursting, it’ll have you, Biggie and Pun fighting over Twinkies in person!”

Dizaster defeats MR. ET

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Synopsis: Clearly MR. ET had no idea what he was getting into as his generic bars were no match for Dizaster’s name flips, personals, freestyles and all-around shit-talking.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “You ain’t really hype with the goons, faggot go fly a bike over a moon!”

Conceited defeats Illmaculate

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Synopsis: “And another thing that got me real pissed about you, your nickname’s Ill but besides your health there’s nothing sick about you!”, “Since this battle’s for cheese it’s gonna be Easy Mac”, “When the scope is on it’s like Pokeman, I’ll peek at you and blast toys!”….literally raining down punchline after punchline on an earnest Illmaculate, a fully loaded Conceited catches a body on the Fresh coast and doesn’t leave fingerprints.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 3-0

Best line: Conceited – “Once I let all the guns and the clips blow, for the first time y’all gonna see a Mac running through Windows”

DNA defeats Lil Farnum

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Recap: One proposed rule for judged battles: don’t use battle rappers, use random experts outside the ring instead. Yeah, obviously having been in the ring themselves, battle rappers can bring a high level amount of expertise to determining a winner. But as Okwerdz (who amazingly enough already had Lil Farnum edging each of the first 3 rounds) shows here, battle rappers also, even if unintended, bring their own share of biases/style preferences as there’s no way in hell Okwerdz can say that DNA didn’t bring personals to his OT round when just playing the tape shows he did. Either way, in yet another Grind Time battle that shouldn’t have been brought to OT in the first place (I got a more versatile DNA winning 2-1 before the OT), it’s still a more witty, personal and less predictable DNA who got robbed.

Verdict: DNA (3-1) w/ OT

Favorite line: DNA – “Your mom’s caught my dick in CPU, it’s always where your mother board!”

Iron Solomon defeats Shirt ‘N Tie

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Synopsis: First of all, I love barbershop battles! Secondly, WTF happened to Shirt ‘N Tie? For being a Jay-Z clone what with that moniker alone he should’ve had a longer career in rap. Third, this is Iron Solomon at his best: a mix of bars, freestyles, aggression, rebuttals all the while funny as hell.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 3-0

Best line: Iron Solomon – “You coming weak as fuck on this rap shit, so maybe you’d be better off sweeping up some giraffe shit, and you can tell his career ain’t about shit, because I seen his last DVD and he’s wearing the same outfit”

Aye Verb and Hollow da Don [TIE]

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Recap: Classic matchup between Aye Verb and Hollow da Don in St. Louis, sees a more direct Verb go at a somewhat coy and less versatile Hollow with aggressive punches and hardbody personals to take the 1st round, before Hollow returns the favor with a fire, condensed turn that featured a couple of nice rebuttals and (“You just about as real as them two glass rocks in your ear!”) freestyles along with adventurous set-ups and stinging punchlines that combined to beat back a less stirring turn by Verb. With only two rounds, call this one a tie.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Aye Verb – “You wouldn’t Murder Inc. Hollow, you couldn’t kill an instrumental!”

Iron Solomon defeats Flamez

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Recap: Arguably the first battle rapper to go through an entire match with his shirt off, Flamez real writtens (most of his bars anyway) are still no match for Iron Solomon’s freestyles, personals and all out zealotry.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “And we met outside the Virgin mega store, which is ironic because his wife is a non virgin mega whore”

Math Hoffa defeats Iron Solomon

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Recap: Math Hoffa got this one over with early, using fierce bully (“I could get Iron snatched just for trying Math, have him like a skinny white girl, can’t find his ass”) bars, rich punchlines and too-funny (“I said ‘Iron I got that butta. what’s crackin’?’, he said ‘I’m more of a Parkay guy, it’s less fattening”) jokes/schemes in the first couple of rounds to take out what he not only predicted in Iron’s repeated use of name flips, but recycled/substandard bars that more often than not didn’t match Solomon’s aggression. Thus, by the time Iron found his groove (“He looking at me like white boys can’t jump, till I step off the bench and light ya ass up!”/I’m an upcoming pump, you the worst kind of whore, that gets fucked once and quits ‘cuz your vagina sore!”) in a round 3, it was too late.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I got a thing for your sister, you outta notice, she the first white girl that I smashed, we met at Lotus, she took the kid raw so I could spray on her faster, I felt like caviar the way I came on a cracker [cracka]”

Hitman Holla and Rich Dolarz [TIE]

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Recap: From the same Street Status card that featured Aye Verb vs. Hollow da Don for two rounds, a more gritty and mayhem/punch-lit (“Y’all got the best room at the Hilton going against a Motel 6?!”) Hitman Holla takes round 1, before a more nuanced and brazen Rich Dolarz took the 2nd to make this battle a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Rich Dolarz – “St. Louis how could he win?, I mean Chingy hotter than him!”

Iron Solomon defeats Madness

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Recap: Madness shows he can go toe-to-toe with Iron Solomon….for one around anyway, before Solomon bodies him in a heap of nice rebuttals, fresh (“Florida’s idea of lyricism is Trick Daddy!”) quoteables, funny personals and all-out haymakers.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “You ain’t white, you just caught too many nuts in your face”

Iron Solomon defeats Jin

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Synopsis: Don’t let all the haters in the crowd fool you, because Jin’s round one was pretty nice (and he had some decent rebuttals throughout too). However, this wasn’t about how good Iron was (I think even he’d admit that overall this wasn’t his best performance, tho the Canibus line in rd. 2 was hot), so much as it was about Jin losing steam so fast that you almost got the feeling he wasn’t inspired. For that alone, it was pretty easy for Iron to edge the former champion.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1

Best line: Jin – “The real Solomon was a king, this clown seems more of a diva, so after I make you my bitch you could call yourself the Queen of Sheba”

Iron Solomon defeats G. Sizzle

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Recap: Street battles are where Iron Solomon made his name from and his on-the-spot/rebuttal game was always superb as G. Sizzle more than finds out here. Close in the 2nd (G. Sizzle: “I carry more weight than a white boy with a hiking bag”) round, but clearly outclassing his opponent in the 1st and 3rd, this “Cracker Jew” showed early on that he was nothing to be played with.

Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “You just mad ‘cuz your girl’s address ends in dot.com”

Charron defeats Sandman

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Recap: Even early on in his battle rap career Charron was displaying a dope freestyle game, mixing up a gang of nifty off-the-dome heaters–here in his KOTD debut against a very pedestrian Sandman (who didn’t matters by tossing that shirt at Charron in round 1)–with agile punchlines, spicy rebuttals and witty personals to score an easy 30.

Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charron – “Siamese prostitutes wouldn’t give two fucks about you!”

Real Deal defeats Ex-l

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Recap: No contest here as Real Deal’s fresh combo of zany impressions, stifling punchlines and witty/mocking personals combine to easily take down the mostly subpar raps from Ex-l in this 3-rounder from Grind Time.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real Deal – “All that judging battles that you do, you think you’d know how to win one!”

Dizaster defeats Surgeon General

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Recap: Surgeon General’s aggressive and at times witty personals gets him off to a hot start here against Dizaster, but halfway through his choice to lean on more lyrical darts hurts in the end as the General’s oft-pedestrian bars in both the 3rd and 4th rounds allows Diz’s already bodacious (“You threaten kids on the Net, but you never end up scrapping, the punchlines are like your punches in real life…they both never happen!”) rants and other eccentric boasts/punches to easily take the latter rounds for the win.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-1

Favorite line: Surgeon General – “I saw you in the car you’re in, you and Illmaculate battle look like Bert and Ernie arguing!”

Hollow da Don defeats Illmaculate

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Part 2
Synopsis: From Grind Time, a classic 3rd round by a punch/personal-lit Hollow Da Don that featured a crazy Hulkamania impression gets the Queens, NY battler the win. But let it be noted that Illmac practically gave it up this battle with some wack freestyling after edging round 1.

Verdict: Hollow da Don (W) 2-1

Best line: Hollow da Don – “So why you wanna battle a street nigga?, stick to the computer thugs, cuz you come thru the hood, I’ll smack you down, pat you down…then roof your drugs!”

Cortez defeats Soul Khan

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Overtime

Synopsis: Honestly, I had Soul Khan edging this one after 3 rounds with better jokes, rebuttals and punchlines versus Cortez’s aggressive bars and wordplay. But Tez got the OT from the judges and combined with SK stopping early, easily took advantage, clearly showing that you can never go wrong with being more prepared than your opponent.

Verdict: Cortez (W) OT

Best line: Soul Khan – “That was a garbage-ass round, he was spitting pitifully, I’m G. Dep? [well] Your chick hit me up for a special delivery”

PH defeats Dizaster

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Recap: An OT battle just because the fans requested it?!? Well, that’s Grind Time for ya. Still, thank goodness PH (who I thought edged it in regulation, 2-1) came prepared for the extra round, continuing to deliver stinging (“Eyebrow hair so fucking think, one raised eyebrow could raise roofs”) jokes, personals and punchlines to beat out Dizaster’s constant aggression, but inconsistent execution, storytelling bars and wordplay.

Verdict: PH (W) OT

Favorite line: PH – “I seen cyclones and tornadoes destroy everything in they path, you’re more like a handheld fan, a silent fart out a fat bitch’s ass”

DNA defeats AKA

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Recap: Some nice punchlines and rebuttals by AKA throughout this match, but a more consistent and punch/scheme-heavy DNA takes this Grind Time battle that yet again had no business going to OT.

Verdict: DNA (W) 3-1 w/ OT

Favorite line: DNA – “His job told him Take Five, this dickhead went and played the Lotto!”

Swave Sevah defeats Jay Focus

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Recap: Arguably the first Christian battle rapper, a very pedestrian and flow-challenged Jay Focus’ attempts to not curse did garner some laughs. That and Swave Sevah’s repeated mockery of his opponent’s more subdued raps along to go along with a mean punch game earns the Harlem battler an easy 3-0.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “I ain’t playing no games, this beat go in, if this was a game, whoever using me put a G-code in!”

Mike Flamez defeats Young Gattas

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Recap: Mike Flamez uses a variety of hard-hitting personals and piercing punchlines over the course of 3 rounds to easily beat back a mostly pedestrian and subpar free-styling Young Gattas in this matchup from Grind Time.

Verdict: Mike Flamez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Mike Flamez – “Better tell ya girlfriend to throw in the towel, I got a different strap-on I’ll throw in her mouth!”

Okwerdz defeats Arsonal

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Synopsis: Never was much of a fan of Okwerdz, esp. with his often lame, loud, straightforward, simple wordplay and play to the home crowd semantics. But his signature stylings worked here, what with enough personals (remember this is early Arsonal, Fight Klub champ), “you recycle bars” mentions and “Fresh coast” hysterics to edge him a win here. Clearly too, Arsonal not only didn’t fully prepare for this battle (too much filler, not enough punches), but he clearly underestimated his opponent and the time limits (which are like kryptonite to da Rebel) definitely worked in Okwerdz favor as well. 

Verdict: Okwerdz (W) 2-1

Best line: Arsonal – “I’ll finger all 3 of her holes, she a bowling ball”

Loaded Lux defeats J Biz

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Round 2

Recap: Jersey’s J Biz puts up a decent (“Take you’re head off on camera like Taliban”) challenge, but Loaded Lux’s hard body rhymes and braggadocio (“You”ll melt trying to get to this belt, Casper couldn’t go through me”) bars are too much to handle in this two-rounder from BET’s Freestyle Friday.

Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “It’s all great till Lux sweep in, then they sweating like Michael Jackson at a Boys Club meeting!”

Real Deal defeats Complex

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Recap: From Grind Time, a close 3-rounder with plenty of sardonic personals on both sides. But with neither battler lighting up the scoreboard consistently, it’s still a harder punching and more versatile Real Deal who takes each round for the win over Complex.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real Deal – “See, homie, why do you hate being white, be a man and tell me, you on black people’s dick so much I’m a call you Lisa Lampanelli!”

DNA defeats Prophit

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Synopsis: A teenage DNA comes off a little bit raw and unpolished, but still spits enough shiners to land an easy win over Prophit as he makes his debut appearance on Grind Time.

Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0

Favorite line: DNA – “This nigga pussy, he wouldn’t grill cheese”

Arsonal defeats Rich Dolarz

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Part 2 Part 3  

Synopsis: A battle that deserves a rematch if only because I think both Richie and Arsonal would agree that they could put on a lot better show now compared to this early Sub Zero matchup. Filled with way too much filler, lame lines, not enough hot bars and a crowd that was clearly there to see Rich take out a body, Arsonal only won because Rich was that bad.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1

Best line: Arsonal – “I’m the only rapper selling swag on Ebay”

Young Gattas defeats Sara Kana

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Recap: Grind Time at its absolute worst here as despite a versatile Young Gattas doing everything, whether it was spitfire personals, hardbody punchlines, witty puns or alluring Espanol heat, to wreck havoc on a very pedestrian Sara Kana, this battle still went to an OT round that won’t be shown here due to the sheer ridiculousness of it all. SMH.

Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young Gattas – “And I know she ain’t getting pussy, why?, ‘cuz you burn calories while having sex!”

Daylyt defeats Passwurdz

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Recap: More condensed and performance-heavy in rounds 1 and 3 with some fire quotables, witty barbs and rugged wordplay mixed in, Daylyt edges a mayhem-dishing and personal/name-flip spazzing, but a little less versatile and a little less intricate Passwurdz in this competitive 3-rounder from Grind Time.

Verdict: Daylyt (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Daylyt – “I X box cats, his boys will get a Halo 2!:

Hollow da Don defeats Amzilla

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Recap: A judged battle with $2K on the line sees Hollow da Don use an aggressive template of gritty punchlines, gripping personals and a few dope rebuttals to easily beat a pretty substandard Amzilla.

Verdict: Hollow da Dow (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Hollow da Don – “Nigga heard Jeezy tracks, talking about you go through blocks…I’m like nigga please, you sold two rocks!”

Pat Stay defeats Bartone

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Recap: Pat Stay’s 1st appearance on KOTD is a scintillating one as the Nova Scotia, Canada rapper uses a boisterous mix of mean personals, wild jokes and raucous schemes to easily beat back a mostly oft-killer Bartone.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “He’s so skinny when he burps it hurts him!”

Pat Stay defeats Cronic

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Recap: A ‘Sucka-free’ Pat Stay uses a wide load of piercing fat jokes, brutal sexual deviant barbs, boastful shiners and other hardbody punchlines/personals to easily take this Elements League 3-rounder from a started-off-nice, but incredibly waning as the battle went on Cronic.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “If I’m a pedophile then you’re a necrophiliac because I heard your girl’s a dead fuck!”

Locksmith defeats Dizaster

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Recap: Grind Time battle between Dizaser and Locksmith contains a boatload of over-the-top personals, raucous jokes and frenzied punchlines from both battlers. But while his opponent kept it close for a couple of rounds, a more consistent Locksmith would still edge the first two rounds before a 3rd round choke from Diz gave Lock the 30.

Verdict: Locksmith (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Locksmith – “Every time I call Sprint, I gotta talk to one of your cousin’s in Istanbul!”

Swave Sevah defeats Imaredo

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Recap: Three shortened, but highly efficient turns from Swave Sevah, filled with plenty of wit and hardbody punches gets the win over a mostly pedestrian Imaredo in this 3-rounder from Grind Time New York battle.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “No lie, this nigga is so skinny he could look through a peephole with both eyes!”

Arsonal defeats Holly Hood

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Synopsis: Versus the underwhelming Holly Hood, this wasn’t a fair fight. Other than that it’s only worth watching to peep Arsonal for the first time on the URL stage.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 3-0

Best line: Arsonal – “I’m a promethazine Sprite nigga, he’s a Michelob Light sipper”

Cortez defeats Yung Sheen

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Recap: Despite coming in as a last-minute replacement for Lotta Zay, a confident Cortez spits three fire rounds like he had this battle scheduled for a week. Still, Yung Sheen hung in there, edging the second round with some aggressive storytelling (“Your bitch in my Crusader, don’t worry I know you saw here, you something like the b-ball gear, nigga’s a Starter”) bars and keen wordplay, after Cortez easily took the first with more potent (“I’m Conceited with an ego bigger than Shaq’s shadow”) lines and more versatility. Last round is close, but Cortez takes it with some iller personals, on-point set-ups and fiery punchlines.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “My niggas will jump Superman, ask Nate Robinson!”

Young Gattas defeats Alex Ludovico

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Recap: Hey, if you’re going to get 3-0’d in a battle at the very least keep the crowd entertained as Alex Ludovico, a last-minute for whoever, does here against Young Gattas, using thrifty freestyles/personals and fully transparent humor to make it through the battle in one piece, while a consistently spicy with the punches Gattas handily takes each round for the win on Grind Time.

Verdict: Young Gattas (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Young Gattas – “You couldn’t bless a track even if you had Kirk Franklin on the ad-lib!”

Amzilla defeats DNA

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Part 2/OT

Synopsis: Intriguing to say the least as one gets to see this Grind Time Tryouts battle featuring an early DNA (along with some of your other favorite battle rappers) looking to get on and build his resume. Good battle and since I agree with Cortez on what defines Overtime rules, it gives me no problem going with Amzilla on the win since he spit the hottest line (“I’ll hit you with an uppercut [looks up] DNA done got stuck on the ceiling”) in the extra round.

Verdict: Amzilla (W) OT

Favorite line: Amzilla – “I heard they call you DNA because you couldn’t spell chromosome”

Philly Swain and K-Shine [TIE]

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Recap: Philly Swain versus K-Shine for two rounds up in Harlem on Loaded Lux’s Lions Den stage is a barnburner as Swain’s boisterous punches, witty wordplay and righteous (“Certified Wiseguy, I’m the Godfather!”) similes make work (esp. in round 1 which Philly edged), while Shine’s gritty darts, heated gun bars and braggadocio raps are enough to edge round 2 and make this one a tie.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: K-Shine – “All that tough talk, till I run up on nigga’s, with the .40 poking out the bag like Malt liquor!”

Conceited defeats Tall T

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Synopsis: Tall T (R.I.P.) was always nice, but unfortunately not much comp here against an early Conceited who was clearly at the top of his game, delivering sizzling punchline (“bullets like the letter ‘V’, they coming after ‘U'”) after punchline (“cops wanna handcuff him, stick him in jail, even if I was a SIM card I wouldn’t sit in a cell”) with virtual ease, while putting on a show for a hype crowd that made you forget that Conceited was the road guy.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 2-0

Best line: Tall T – “You talk about it, we actually shoot, dome shots make him do the Chicken Noodle soup! And when comes to pussy, you don’t know what to do, you put yo condom on and balls in it Too!!

Real Deal defeats Fresco

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Recap: Grind Time judges got it all right here as capped by a dope ‘Leave Britney Alone!’ impression, Real Deal’s gang of mocking personals, sizzling punchlines and gay innuendos combined to score a 30 on a mostly pedestrian and overmatched Fresco.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real Deal – “Chicago is not your city, it’s your favorilte musical!”

Charlie Clips defeats Tay Roc

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Synopsis: Not much more can be said about this battle that hasn’t already been spoken. A battle that put Clips on the map and literally gave him “legend” status all the way through to his battle with A-Verb a few years later on URL. As for Tay-Roc, compared to the high-caliber version of Roc that we see now, the version we see here just seemed happy to be there (tho his 1st and 3rd rounds weren’t that bad), which killed the B-more legend’s rep until he’d later take it all out on Kaboom in that famous OT round on the Lion’s Den later down the road. Other than that, peep a confident Clips just dropping fire punch after punch while roasting on Roc for 3 rounds (esp. during a superb and witty round 1) as well as Teyana Taylor in the audience for your added viewing pleasure.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0

Best line: Charlie Clips – “See the reason I go crazy and I be blacking it out, is because my grandmother said, ‘If you lose to this Tay Rock nigga, don’t bring yo ass back in my house'”, What, can you picture me losing for that good-ass cooking? For my grandmom’s I do time in that hood ass booking, he wanna fight I throw a left then a good-ass hook and, have him like, ‘woop-woop!’, you know, when you used to get that good-ass whooping”

Z.M. defeats Swave Sevah

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OT

Synopsis: Swave got off to a hot start (“You might have a chance at winning if this was a pie-eating contest”), but lost momentum in the latter rounds leading to an OT that he clearly wasn’t prepared for.

Verdict: Yung ZM (W) OT

Favorite line: Yung Z.M. – “Bitch, you so dark it look like you stood outside for two summers…”

Arsonal defeats Hollow da Don

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Synopsis: Da Rebel at his best: loud, aggressive, cocky, disrespectful and a few Hulkamania leg drops to finish off Hollow da Don and get the 3-count. Really, did Hollow just underestimate Arsonal or was he just unprepared? Perhaps both. Because that stunned look da Don got on his face throughout this battle reminds me of the same look Tay Roc had against Charlie Clips. Why this battle even went to overtime served as just another reason why Fight Klub had to go–tho unfair to Arsonal, it did give him a reputation for recycling bars when it should’ve never went to OT in the first place

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 4-0

Best line: Arsonal – “Last week I saw your rap sheet, you had one charge…wandering”

Arsonal da Rebel defeats RemyD

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Recap: Showing that he takes no mercy on out-of-town spitters, Arsonal goes ham and spazzes on RemyD’s midwest flow and significant others throughout this tournament battle from Fight Klub. In order to finish the kill and leave no witnesses the coup-de-grace comes when da Rebel decides that even the kids can not be spared: “I’ll kidnap your child, shove a bomb down his throat and blow that little muthafukka into several slices!” It’s a wrap.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Arsonal – “Your bitch, she a fiend, but she the queen of the deep throat, that bitch will suck the fucking motor off a speed boat”

Cortez defeats Mosh Jelton

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Recap: Grind Time East Coast battle between Cortez and Mosh Jelton is entertaining all the way through with plenty of witty barbs/4-bar setups, racial jokes and piercing punchlines. But after the two split the first two rounds, a more consistently spicy, lit with the personals and adept with his ability to predict some of his opponent’s lines Cortez pulls this one out at the end.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “I gave him a pack to flip, he snorted like the half the shit, the other half he gave to David Blaine for a magic trick!”